the what incident

What the Hell is “Gaslighting”?

In 1938, a stage play called “Gas Light” debuted for the first time. The play is about a husband who gradually convinces his wife she’s insane by acting strangely and secretly manipulating objects in the house - like dimming the gas lights in the attic - and refusing to acknowledge that they’ve changed. Today, the term “gaslighting” is used to describe any behaviour designed to make another person question their sanity. 

Gaslighting is abusive behaviour. Any person who tries to make you doubt your own sanity does not have your best interests at heart. Gaslighting is a tool to keep you in an abusive relationship, and prevent you from reaching out for help. 

In its weakest form, gaslighting means convincing you that you are misremembering or exaggerating something that happened. “I never said it like that, you’re exaggerating!” or “You’re making it sound worse than it was!” are common examples of gaslighting. At the end of the conversation, you might even find yourself apologizing to the other person, even though you were pretty sure that they were in the wrong. This sort of thing can happen in a normal relationship, especially if one or both parties aren’t very self-aware, but it’s a concern if it happens all the time… especially if only one person seems to have a faulty memory.

Gaslighting can also mean convincing you that events didn’t happen at all. Your abuser can absolve themselves of responsibility, and keep you in check, by convincing you that abuse never took place. “We never had a fight at my brother’s wedding… are you feeling okay?” or “I’ve never thrown anything at you in my life! Do you have a fever or something?” are more serious examples of gaslighting, and they are absolutely not okay. If someone is trying to convince you that a fight or episode of abuse never happened, that’s a huge red flag that cannot be ignored. 

At its very worst, abusers may go out of their way to stage strange events in order to confuse their victims. An abuser trying to keep a victim in check, or socially isolate a victim, may go out of their way to act strangely in order to make their victim doubt their own mind. Abusers may steal things from you, disappear for days on end and claim that they told you where they were going (or deny being gone), or mislabel your reactions as they’re happening (eg. pretending that you are irrationally angry when you are actually calm). These are also huge red flags, and cannot be ignored. 

Gaslighting is not unique to abusive romantic relationships: it is also common in toxic parent/child relationships, sibling relationships, friendships or school bullying. Anyone who mistreats you can gaslight you. 

The best defense against gaslighting is self-confidence, and careful recording. Trust in your own mind. You know when you’ve been abused. You know your own reactions. And write things down - keeping a careful record of abusive incidents and what was said or done gives you a record to consult when someone else gets in your head. 

Gaslighting can make it especially difficult to recognize and leave a bad relationship, and no one deserves to go through it. Know the signs. Protect yourself. You deserve better. 

You know what I find so interesting on this second read through? How Andrew has this established pecking order and the others just…. Automatically know it??

Like I’m only on chapter 4 of t*k and Neil is pointing out how strange it is that he has become A Part Of Them. How he tries to NOT let them drag him into their little make shift family.

And it’s always the same order: Andrew, Kevin, Neil, Nicky and Aaron. Like why does Neil get such a high rank? Is it because he has a deal with Andrew? But if it’s based on deals would Aaron be at least second place?

Like it’s just so interesting that once Neil is accepts Andrew’s offer they all just rework the order. Like when they moved the furniture at the court so they stayed together. When Neil tried to sit alone, Aaron was like?? Ha no. You sit next to Andrew. Or how they leave a space empty for him on the bus in their exact order.

And I’m just thinking about how it SHIFTS in the next book because of blatant favoritism. Or more like increase in loyalty. The point being Kevin gets bumped to third place and I find it endlessly hilarious and also think it’s sweet that Andrew is so gone on this kid.

On Altea, It Rained Rocks
  • Keith: *yelling over sheets of blinding rain* Princess, don't you think you should come inside? You might catch a cold, or whatever...
  • Allura: *standing in the rain* But I've yet to experience an Earth rainstorm quite like this one!
  • Keith: As long as she's happy, I guess. *it starts to hail*
  • Allura: Ow! Ouch! Oww!
  • Keith: Allura! *runs out and shields her all the way back to the house*
  • Allura: *laughing* I guess Earth and Altea have some things in common!
  • Keith: *tired stare*

anonymous asked:

A different Nonnie, but how about that Tommaso couldn't walk away from Johnny either. He sat practically ontop of him after the knee and then ontop of the announce table as the staff looked after Johnny in the end. Like Tommaso can't fully break that connection, even if it's him causing the pain he can't walk away from Johnny.

listen. tess says I karmically deserve these asks for giving people feels but what the hell does she know, so first of all how dare you.

second of all RIGHT???? like. fuck. okay. the PAUSES during the whole sequence are the parts that stood out the most to me. he pauses next to Johnny after attacking him,

he walks away, and then he sees Johnny pulling himself up

and attacks him again. he sits with Johnny

(recalling for all of us other fucking moments when they’ve sat together after matches. times when Tommaso comforted Johnny after a loss.)

and then Tommaso looks over at the announce table (possibly spurred on by Johnny pawing at his face)

and then pauses again

(while Johnny feels him the fuck up jesus)

he keeps pausing and then when he’s finally done he just sits there while the paramedics/refs help Johnny. 

this all plays very well with my understanding of Tommaso. he’s not turning on Johnny because he doesn’t love him, he’s turning on him because he can’t stand being made weak by that love. he’s not angry with Johnny. this violence isn’t easy. he’s forcing himself to do this. it takes effort. 

i think in those pauses he’s doing what we saw him do during the CWC match. he’s trying to find the will to hurt Johnny Gargano.

and like you said, he can’t fully break away. he lets Johnny rest his head on his thigh. he sits there at the end not only to survey his good work, but also to watch these people take care of Johnny. something he doesn’t get to do anymore.

i was laughing with someone recently about “tumblr user unpr*tty” and this seems like a good time to remind people that there is literally no point in censoring yourself if you wanna talk shit because i can’t vanity search, if i try it’s nothing but tlc lyrics and a k-pop competition of some kind. this is also why you have to @ me if you wanna show me something and we’re not mutuals.

just a daily reminder that wherever bangtan goes please, respect their privacy. some ppl are always talking about how much they want the boys to rest and all that, and yet, ppl insist in crowding all the places they visit when they go to a country. let them rest, eat in peace, enjoy the country they are visiting, roam around the city, take pictures, treat them just like you would treat someone having a vacation, they want to not only go to a country to do a concert but to get to know more about its culture, just like anyone else would do! they are not animals nor objects to be treated like this, let them rest! if it’s a day before a huge concert, mental and physical preparation are both needed. they don’t owe fans anything when the fans are the ones stalking them, they are in another country to enjoy and have a great time so they can make nice memories when they do a concert. it’s not about “the fans made who they are today” oh yes we did, but that doesn’t give us the right to stalk them when they have at least a little bit of free time. don’t disturb their privacy because guess what, they are human beings just like us, they don’t like being treated like this, we are not close to them and we are not their friends, we gotta know our boundaries. and most important, don’t encourage those armys behaviour.

Don't make my girlfriend cry.

(warning: long story)

Okay, so this was a good few years ago, back when I was in high school.

In case my username didn’t give it away, I am happily and openly gay af, and I came out at about 14, around year 9 in highschool (I’m British). And from that second on, I was even more of a target.

I was already the preferred bullying target. The school was aware of it, they were also aware that my family didn’t take kindly to this (in my previous school, my Mum had brought the police into school on the day where the younger kids were coming to see if they wanted to go there, because they weren’t doing anything about me being bullied) so pulled a big huff and puff smoke screen to try and make it seem like they were fixing the issue, though they never did anything.

I had plenty of small ‘regular’ or 'petty’ revenges throughout my years. Getting people kicked out of classes, forced into counselling, etc etc. But this is the big one.

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Togetherness (Jacob Frye X Fem!Reader)

Originally posted by mirindalawson

Hello Followers,
thank you for your patience once again. Here is another one and this time I took 41-year (well, he is 43/44 in this one) old Mr. Frye to the test. I mean, he needs love, too. And he is such a handsome man and had to go through a lot.

I hope you will enjoy this piece of Fiction. I do not have any knowledge about the bathing back in Victorian England. I googled but didn’t find enough or maybe I did not dig deep enough. (I actually just googled again to not look like a complete idiot in front of you and added a few things, heh)

A happy Fryeday to all of you. I hope my english followers are all okay + their families and friends after what had happened.

Title: Togetherness
Summary: Reader wants some time for herself but her dear husband thought otherwise
Characters: Reader, Jacob Frye
Relationships: Jacob Frye x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Very slightly NSFW at the end (but really, not much)
Words: 1.885

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anonymous asked:

Hey Darling!! I was just wondering if you would ever write something in Stiles's perspective about Derek's death....LOL I'm sorry for the Angsty askXDXD

Derek is dead.

It goes around in his head as he drives from Quantico to Washington.

Derek is dead. Derek is dead. Derek god damn Hale is god damn dead.

Stiles racks his brains for the last time he saw Derek; for a memory he can focus on instead of the god damn road leading him to Derek’s body.

It was June. Five months ago. When he first moved in to Quantico, Derek came down from Washington and they walked along the river, exchanging stories. Derek had been in New York, finally settling the Hale estate with a lawyer so far removed from Beacon Hills he felt that he could trust them. He’d been wearing a lilac t-shirt that Stiles couldn’t stop staring at him in, couldn’t stop wanting to pluck at the sleeve, touch Derek on the arm, brush his fingers against Derek’s. The two of them had nearly died together a dozen times, and Stiles still hadn’t been able to bring himself to touch him.

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Storytelling Through Tarot

I’ve noticed that a lot of other witches also enjoy fiction and writing! Tarot itself tells a story, and you can do so much with using tarot to outline your story and characters! So here’s a 13 card spread that can be shortened down to six if you need to. The order in which you lay them really depends on if you’d rather do a six or thirteen card spread. 

1-6 are the main points of the story. 

  1. Beginning - What are things like at the beginning of the narrative? Where do your characters start?
  2. Climax of Act One - Something has drastically changed in your MC’s life. What is it? What do they need to do now?
  3. Midpoint: big twist! - Need a plot twist? Someone is hiding a secret? Things aren’t going as planned? This is where something unexpected happens.
  4. Climax of Act Two - It looks like the bad guy is winning, nothing is going right. What does the most intense part of your story look like?
  5. Wrap up - What loose ends need tied up?
  6. End - Where are things now at the end of the story?

Now, the other cards go in between those main six points. 

  1. Beginning
  2. Inciting Incident - What happens that shakes up the status quo?
  3. Second Thoughts - What’s your character thinking now with these events looming on the horizon?
  4. Climax of Act One
  5. Obstacle - No one said this journey was easy
  6. Obstacle - Yup, more things to keep your hero from meeting their goal
  7. Midpoint
  8. Obstacle - Getting frustrated? Good.
  9. Disaster - The “oh shit” moment
  10. Crisis - The “no no no no no this isn’t happening” moment
  11. Climax of Act Two
  12. Wrap up
  13. End

And there you go! Hope this helps!

I know I said this last season but grimmons is going to be confirmed by the end of season 15