bellarke prompt: post separation dreams of Clarke
y’all should know that i almost wrote this prompt so that the entire episode and clarke getting left behind was just a dream and when he woke up she was in bed next to him on the ark. instead you got this.
He doesn’t know when it all starts.
For the first nineteen months of their arrival, most of his time (more like every second, he could hear Harper saying) was spent working with the rest of the crew on their somewhat deteriorated space station, trying to get the water purification system up and running, trying to make sure the algae farm continues functioning properly, trying to fix every inch of this place so that he and his friends can survive for the next five years.
For those first five hundred and seventy two days, he’s able to keep her out of his mind, able to avoiding thinking of her aside from the occasional fleeting thought of “Clarke would do this this way.” When stitching up Murphy’s hand after he slices open on something in the bathroom (he won’t say), Bellamy briefly can hear her talking to herself as she did the same procedure on one of the delinquents (a small boy who was down there for stealing someone’s rations) and he was next to him, smoothing his hair down.
Those short-lived moments, and the day that marks one year passing since he’d last stepped foot on solid, dependable earth—since he’d last seen her, left her to die—where he allows himself to mourn alone on one of the decks, the bottle of Baton in his hand; those are the only instances where he allows himself to think about her for more than a few seconds.
So, while he’s not over her (who gets over a person who meant so much to you?), the empty part of his heart, the one that she used to fill, has numbed with the time, and he doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Or maybe that’s just what he tells himself.
And then the dreams begin.