the weight we carry

Character Analysis: Holly Blue Agate

Anonymous said:
what were your thoughts on holly blue?

I’ll keep the introduction short for this post. Holly Blue is the second Homeworld character introduced affiliated with Homeworld and a specific Diamond. The first character was Peridot. While the Rubies openly talk about their service to Yellow Diamond, they don’t share the deep investment that Holly Blue and Peridot have shown in the story.

It’s interesting looking at her character knowing what we do about Peridot now. So let’s get right into it!

1. Gem Placement

Anonymous said:
What do you suppose Holly Blue Agate’s gem placement (the back of her head, at the base of her skull) symbolizes?

Going by anatomy, the back of the skull is where the occipital lobe of the brain is located. The occipital lobe functions not necessarily to let us see, but to help us make sense of what we’re seeing. That is, the occipital lobe helps us interpret and comprehend the images that our eyes are looking at.

And to me, there’s something interesting about every single moment we get to see Holly Blue’s gem in Gem Heist, when she’s first introduced. In those moments, she sees the CGs just as they’re doing something they’re not supposed to do, and each time, she misinterprets what happens and they don’t get caught.

The very first time we see her gem is when the CGs just arrive and try to convince the Amethysts of their credibility. That Sapphire isn’t a “disgraced” Homeworld defector and that she’s the leader of the entire operation bringing a new human for Blue Diamond’s Zoo. Holly Blue buys into this narrative completely and leads them exactly where they want to go.

The second time is immediately after Pearl is ordered to open the first door. Pearl makes a very un-Pearl face at Holly, who, with back turned, ignores it unknowingly, saving Pearl and Sapphire what could have been a heated questioning.

The third time, she and Sapphire walk in on the other CGs trying to destroy the door. And they look so obviously guilty, but Holly blames it on the Amethysts instead. 

Close to the end of the episode, we have one more shot of her gem as the Amethysts take Steven away and he’s very loudly resisting. We know that’s a sign of the upturn that Steven causes later on, but Holly interprets it as a sign that things are running smoothly and going to be fine.

Note that none of these circumstances immediately signal to Holly that things are going wrong. The Zoo is a far off outpost that has been very low-key. Working there must be very quiet, save the occasional visit from BD. Holly wouldn’t be expecting trouble and that tinges the way she processes what goes on around her.

I’d say on a normal day, the Famethyst pulls a few pranks, Holly makes them clean up and then they train for a while. Holly goes around inspecting everything. And it’s boring. So when a noble gem shows up, Holly wants things to be the best they can be.

It’s a point in how our contexts tinge how we interpret what our senses tell us. In experiencing the world, there is definitely going to be an element of subjectivity. No two people experience the same scenario the same way because just from a physical standpoint, they’re never really in the same place at the same time.

I think this is especially true for Holly. Her gem, which I’ve mentioned before gives us an idea of how gems interact with the world, is behind her. That means she wants to be on top of everything, but she doesn’t face things directly when interacting with them. She’s always just a little bit behind on what’s going on.

Additionally, we’ve already seen a discrepancy between what she sees and what she makes of it. It implies that she’s out of touch with what’s happening on the ground. Extending it further, she’s a bit out of touch with herself. Functioning at her best, I’d say she’d be very perceptive. But that “gut feeling” has to be cultivated.

And being out of touch is a very real phenomenon. Holly is in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t get to interact with a lot of gems and the gems she does interact with are ones she’s been with for thousands of years from very early on in their lives.

I’d say that she’s amazing at telling what the Famethyst are up to. She’s always suspicious of them, and that’s maybe because they’ve given her a reason to believe something is always brewing. If the mischievous character of our own Amethyst is anything to go by, poking fun at Holly’s uptight nature is something they’d be doing very frequently, even before the CGs came. 

Holly can probably tell what the Famethyst are plotting even at a glance. She’s attuned to them, whether she wants to be or not. And that leads to the next point.

2. Position on Homeworld

Keep reading

Love & War. {Feysand}

Originally posted by sensuous

Sorry this took so long for me to post, friends. I had a busy (stressful) week and it caused some writer’s block. Thank you all for voting in my poll, though! Here is the prompt that got the most votes. I love hearing from my readers, and finding new prompts in my askbox. It makes me feel amazing as a writer! 

Warning: This oneshot is equally smutty and adorable.


Where are you?

I shot the question through the bond as I watched Elain. She was sitting across from Azriel as he told her yet another story about Truth-teller. After what had happened with the King of Hybern, Elain had wanted to hear all about the sword, where it had gone with Azriel through the years, and the history it had witnessed. Her small frame was turned towards him, shoulders curved inward as her chin rested in the palm of her hand, her elbow gently placed on her crossed knees. With wide eyes, she clung onto his every word.

The study.

My eyes shifted to where Nesta sat next to Amren in the long chairs outside the sparring ring. My sister was watching the Illyrian intensely, her lips pursed, but her gray-blue eyes longing. Mor and Cassian danced around one another, jokingly, in their fighting leathers. Mor had knocked him on his ass three times in the last hour. He had blamed it on his injuries, claimed he was still healing.

Mor had claimed she was going easy on him for the same reason.

Your missing out on Cassian getting beat up by Mor, I heard him laugh through the bond as I continued, it’s pretty amusing. And also a little bit sad.

He deserves it, he replied, amusingly. I miss you.

Keep reading

the ‘no longer human’ (2010) that you probably haven’t seen (and nakahara chuuya’s significant role in dazai osamu’s life)

You read that right. ‘Ningen shikkaku’, or as we know it, ‘No Longer Human’ had a movie that came out on 2010, directed by Genjiro Arato and starring Toma Ikuta as Oba Yozo (and to a lesser extent, Dazai Osamu). 

Keep reading

maybe this hurts so much
because we have always written our prayer into stone.
in Jerusalem arched backs sway
like palm branches in hot summer winds,
as they whisper holy words into ash and brick
their sorrow becomes sacred,
even the crevices begin to weep with them.

when we say goodbye to our dead
a crown of pebbles, not petals, lays gently
at the foot of every tomb. this is to say
their memory will not be fleeting.


yit'gadal
v'yit'kadash
sh'mei
raba


170 headstones toppled. then 100 more.
each crack a reminder:
even in death
jewish bodies do not get to know peace.


maybe this hurts so much
because we have always put our pain into stone.
it is easier this way.
boulders are lighter to carry
than the weight of our dead.
we have grown weary of mourning.

—  a reflection on the recent desecrations of two Jewish cemeteries in Missouri and Philadelphia
JIB8 - Jared M&G story

So, like last year, I was once again lucky enough to have a Jared Meet&Greet, and got to be close to a tired yet focused Jared Padalecki (who’d just woken up from a nap in between his autograph session and his M&G).

Before anyone began asking questions, there was a knock on the door but no one entered. Jared looked at a staff member and asked her “Is it Ackles? Is he fucking with me again?“ - then laughed. Apparently, it wasn’t Jensen who then joined us for Jared’s M&G, but Jensen’s stunt double. Why he was at the convention I have no idea, but he sat down and observed the M&G (as well as a few panels, I noticed later that day) - and confirmed a few facts when Jared asked him about something.

Jared’s chapter in ‘Family Don’t End With Blood’ was mentioned and whether or not he would consider writing a book. His answer was no. He said he’d spent a whole year writing that chapter and, besides not having a lot of time on his hands, he’d had some anxiety writing it (I guess because he was afraid it wasn’t good enough). However, Jared said he felt like he owed it to us to be honest about it all. I admit I was struggling not to tear up at this point, having not only read his chapter but had been in Rome during JIB6 when Jared had gone through his breakdown.

A fan mentioned her reason behind telling Jared a funny story during his solo panel (the beenie/penis story - I’m sure there’re videos of it if someone doesn’t know what I’m talking about), that it was because people often tell Jared sad stories and she therefore wanted to make him laugh instead. She also said that he took on too much on his shoulders, that he was not alone in this, and that we were all there to carry some of the weight with him. Jared appreciated that.

He also got some questions about his love for watches, his ‘Venatore’ wine (Jared said he could talk forever about his love for both watches and wine) and his favorite author.

By then, the M&G was almost over but Jared luckily picked me to ask the last question. My question was: “When you do emotional scenes on the show with Jensen, do you think of something sad? Or does the emotion come natural to you after working together for so long and being so close in real life?“

I got really distracted by the fact that Jared was looking straight at ME and answering MY question, but this is what I remember of his answer:

Jared said it was a great question. He said that he, in the beginning of the show, did think of sad things to bring out that kind of emotion, but proceeded to say that he doesn’t do that anymore. Jared said that he hates when the script says “Sam cries“ (which is something Jensen also mentioned in his solo panel) because he doesn’t wanna cry unless he feels like the scene calls for it. So if someone writes that in a script or if a director tells him to cry, he’ll say “I appreciate you saying it but I’ve known this character for 12 years, so please don’t ever tell me that again”. Jared mentioned the scene in 12x22 where Dean and Sam had to break through the wall in the bunker. It wasn’t supposed to be an emotional scene, but he and Jensen had felt like the scene called for it. Jared then said that he couldn’t remember if Sam cried during that scene, and I remarked “Well, I did!“ which made Jared laugh.

He mentioned the church scene between Dean and Sam in the episode “Sacrifice“ and how it was originally scripted that Sam should be all tough about it and practically yell his words at Dean. However, that wasn’t what the scene called for. When they’d gone through the scene, Jared (as Sam) had felt the emotion and had teared up, so that’s the direction he had to go with the scene (and thank God for that since it’s one of my favorite scenes!) He continued to talk about how the brain knows the emotion isn’t real but the body doesn’t, so it’s tough having to do emotional scenes - especially when 5 minutes in a scene takes like 14 hours to film.

Jared then talked about how Sam is a tough guy who, nine out of ten times, tries to hold back his tears rather than show them because he wants to be strong. Jared remarked that crying is not a sign of weakness - that you’re also strong when you cry - but that Sam tries to hold it in. Which, Jared said, was also an emotionally draining thing to do. Both for him and Sam.

Note: During his talk about the church scene and how Sam always tries to be tough and not cry, I swear Jared’s eyes turned wet for a second (as well as my eyes did). Whether it was because of what he said or because he was just tired, I can’t know for sure - but I was sitting pretty close to him and he was looking straight into my eyes at the time.

Anyways, Jared also talked about how guest stars often get something (I don’t remember what he called it. Crystallized something) sprayed into their eyes to be able to cry. Jared has only tried that one time, and that was when he was in House of Wax. His character had to cry but Jared couldn’t do it because he had to sit completely still in the scene (where he’s been waxed) and couldn’t use his facial expressions. That was the only time he’d ever needed help to cry in a scene.

Jared then repeated that it was a really good question, but time had run out by then and he had to leave the room. I was more than a little stoked to get such a long and detailed answer to my question - and more than a little awestruck to have Jared’s eyes on me throughout almost his entire answer.

Was reminded today that our words often carry a lot more weight with our students than we think. Especially at this time of year when it starts to feel like no one is listening. Did a writing conference for a student today- one of six I did that period trying to finish before the weekend. Gave her feedback and a simple compliment on how much she’s improved in writing over this year so far. She came back after school, knocked on my locked door with tears welling, just to say she appreciated the encouragement, that it had been a tough week and she had really needed to hear something positive today. And I told her, that honestly, I had been having a tough week myself, and that her coming to tell me that was something I really needed to hear today, too. 

Bucky Imagine

A Bucky x Reader where the reader falls into really really cold water during a mission, and later at the Avengers tower she gets so sick she faints and Bucky takes care of her?


You ran after the agent as quick as you could through the 2 inches of snow that covered the ground. “I’m following the agent West towards the water,” you spoke into your comm.

“Y/N, keep on his trail,” Steve’s voice rang in your ears. “Bucky is coming from the North and Natasha is on your heels. They’ll be there for backup. He cannot leave, we can’t risk him spreading the information to HYDRA.”

“Copy,” you said short of breath and kept after the man. You continued to follow the man until he stopped at the edge of a small cliff. “There’s nowhere to go now,” you told him. He suddenly pulled a knife from his pocket and went after you. You blocked his attack and reached for the gun you had in your tactile belt. Before you could get a shot off sudden kick sent the gun skidding against the snow. “Y/N, I’m close by,” you heard Bucky’s voice come through.

You got a couple hits to the agent before you could grab your knife and go after him with it. You swiftly cut his arm and thigh as you fought the skilled agent and heard Bucky’s footsteps coming towards you. You flipped away from him, reaching your gun from it’s spot near the side of the cliff, and aimed at the target.

You shot at the man but it was dodged you had to block his feet as they came after you. The man heard Bucky approaching and got his knife ready to throw at his chest. “Bucky,” you yelled a warning and punched the agent who turned and, with a swift kick, sent you flying over the cliff towards the icy water.

You heard a shot as you fell just before you crashed into the cold water. You sunk quickly from the weight of your weapons and struggled towards the top of the distancing top. A crash from the water caught your attention and you saw Bucky swimming down towards you. He grabbed you around your chest and swam with you up towards the water. You gasped for air as you two broke the surface.

“Damn heavy snow boots and dumb Stark tech,” you said kicking off your shoes and tossing your weapons as soon as you were dragged to shore.

“Y/N, are you ok,” Bucky said looking over you with worry written on his face.

“I’m breathing so that’s good,” you said breathing heavily. “Hey,” you said looking at his worried demeanor, “I’m ok. You saved me. Thank you.”

“I’m your boyfriend, and your teammate, it’s my job. Come on,” he lifted you up and put an arm around you for support. “Let’s get back to the quinjet.”

******

You shivered again which made Bucky immediately jump to your side. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Just cold still,” you told him. As soon as boarded the jet you stripped off your wet clothes and put on an extra shirt and jacket that Bucky found on board.

“We’ll get you in front of a fire and get you some warm clothes when we land, ok?” You nodded with your clattering teeth.

Once the jet landed Bucky walked beside you as you shivered down the hallways, heading towards you and Bucky’s shared room. Your shivering worsened and you felt like your legs were ice blocks, barely carrying your weight. “Y/N, maybe we should stop a second,” you heard Buck say. “Or I could carry you.”

“I’m fine Buck,” your voice came out slower and quieter than you thought.

“You’re shivering a lot worse now, ba-”

“I’m fine Bu-,” you said before your vision disappeared and you felt unconscious.

******

Bucky caught you as you fell and felt just how cold you actually were. He took you in his arms and ran towards the medbay as fast as he could. “Cho,” he yelled as he carried you into the bay.

“What happened?”

“She fell in cold water on the mission. She’s ice cold and shivering really bad!”

“Get her over here,” she commanded and guided him over to a bed. “Bucky, we need to get these clothes off her, they’re wet. Take off the clothes while I get some supplies.” She ran out of the room and by the time she came back the clothes you had on were thrown on the floor in a damp pile.

“I gave her those on the jet, shouldn’t they be ok?”

“The water on her skin and hair seeped into them, she can’t wear them. I need to put her hair in this warm towel. I need you to take those warming packs and lay them on her back and near her feet,” she said flipping you over.

******

You woke up sweating in a medbay bed with Buck rocking back and forth in the seat next to you. “Y/N,” he jumped forward as he saw your eyes open. “Are you ok? How do you feel?”

“I’m ok.”

“You said that before and look what happened.”

“What did happen?”

“You fainted walking to the room. I ran you here to Cho. You had hypothermia. You’ve been out for a day and a half.”

“You saved me again Buck,” you weakly smiled. “You’re my hero,” you grabbed his hand.

He squeezed your hand and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “It’s my job, babe.”

Phone Cleansing- Why and How

Why would you need/want to cleanse your phone? 

Well if you think about it, our phones are one of the few objects on our person at all times. It is our connection to a larger world, we have an infinite amount of knowledge in our pockets at all times. We also have Neko Atsume. But that’s not the point. 

The point is, when an object like that is with us 24/7, it can pick up a lot of residual energy, both positive and negative. But when it becomes so clogged with energy, it becomes this source of blockage, and we carry this extra weight with us everywhere we go. 

So if you feel weighed down, consider cleansing you phone. 

Ways to cleanse: 

  • Delete old contacts. Focus on reconnecting with those who mean the most
  • Delete old pictures. Upload some of your favorites to Google Drive and have them printed off. Sure, there’s always Facebook, but having a few physical photos around can really lift the mood of your space. 
  • Get rid of old apps. Not only are they clogging your memory, but they can also be a huge time suck. I am hella guilty of this, especially with game/puzzle apps. 
  • Take the time to organize your apps into folders. It will help you find what you need faster. 
  • Change up your wallpaper, ringtones, and text alerts. We can become so used to a particular sound that it goes unnoticed. 
  • If you need a deeper cleansing, replace a cracked phone screen or broken case. I like to get some cheap cases in a solid color and then play with different designs. 
  • Lastly, set a crystal of your choice on top of your phone while it charges, to infuse the positive energy into it. 

And that’s it! Hope this gives you some ideas on how to clean up your phone. Add some of your favorites too!

Many blessings- Kate

Scandal 6x10 - Alternate Reality

Hello world. For the past 29 hours I have been glued to my tv, rewatching this scandal episode that I feel I have memorized verbatim but every time I watch it I see something new or different that I didn’t pick up on from the last rewatch. But my heart is open and filled with love as Shonda dedicated this episode to our star crossed lover, Olivia and Fitz.

Me coming out of my room after remaining in seclusion. I feel lightheaded. 

This episode was fundamental to the core of Scandal and what the story has always been, the evolution of Olivia Pope and her quest for life. This alternate reality did not disappoint me but left me optimistic and thoroughly sedated. For so long we have watched Olivia fall from grace that at times it appears as though we are looking at a stranger, but we are seeing a change, a slight turn on her axis. Bless you Shonda, for this episode. I never doubted the story or the quest to live a open, honest life.

Now. Let us say our Pledge of the Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance to United States of Olitz and to the republic for which is stands. One nation under Shonda indivisible with jam and love for all. Amen

We start the episode off with Olivia, Fitz and Jake in the oval. Fitz is trying to come up with a plan to free Cyrus but Jake is currently attempting to thwart his plan considering it’s something they all want, Mellie to be President. But is that necessarily true though considering Abby told Jake in 602 that she knows he doesn’t want Mellie to win. *hint hint* besides who actually wants to win an election that way and Fitz knows that they want Mellie in the White House for a reason otherwise why kill Vargas. Real Bitch and Penis did not stoop to those lengths just to support their fellow white lady. Nothing about this is right, hence Fitz wearing the light shirt and appeasing to Olivia’s former self about doing the right thing whereas we have Stevie Wonder appeasing to Olivia’s current side hence the dark shirt. A very obvious play of both good and evil, light and dark and of course the love triangle. Stuck between the two men she’s been entangled with for a few years; and her lack substance in her gut Olivia is torn as if doing the right thing will be all that right. Olivia begins to side with Fitz but the second she does Jake attempts to bring them both down about ‘something he knew 3 hours ago’

Originally posted by humorinrecovery


Hoe, how did yo Stevie Wonder ass tell time? Anyways ..ugh Jake brings up Defiance being a good thing and completely ignores Olivia’s obvious discomfort and pain regarding that ordeal that took place 8 years ago. Fitz looks to Olivia for back up but she rebuffs and begins to talk about Huck dying and how many more people have to get hurt, but Fitz isn’t agreeing with Olivia or Jake regarding them doing nothing and before he leaves he tells Olivia and Jake that he needs to know whether they are 'in or out’.

With Fitz out of the office, Jake turns to Olivia and ignores her pain but begins to talk about how life would have been much worse for Fitz had Olivia not the rigged election all the while Olivia’s head is bowed in evident sorrow for all the pain she has caused to Fitz and herself. But before Jake walks out he reminds Olivia that her life would have also been worse too had she not rigged election. Cue the dream

But as Olivia flashbacks to the past, most of her prolific memories are shaped around Fitz. We see the most memorable moments for Olivia, good and bad.

Back on the plane with the original illuminati…I feel nostalgic at the sight of Hollis and that old hag Verna. Ugh. My heart’s feeling all warm and fuzzy. But as we all know in real life Olivia said ’ yes’ but in the alternate reality she says:

 ‘No. We are not fixing the election. Fitz can win. He can do this. He can turn this around. And when asked about them losing Olivia says 'At least we lose with our souls intact.’

 Wow. Olivia believes in Fitz that he can win. But we know how this story ends and it ends with Fitz losing and Olivia being ashamed and heartbroken that she could have won this for Fitz and she chose to let him fall. Mellie makes sure to rub it in Olivia’s face about all she had to say was ’yes’ and so ironic how Olivia has used that same word when she declared her love for Fitz. But anyways, Olivia is feeling the pain and you can see her clearly wondering if she made the right decision at all. Now we know Olivia enjoys carrying the weight and burden but this wasn’t her fault especially not in this world. But. It Hurts nonetheless .

 Olivia is trying to escape and act as if she doesn’t hear Fitz calling her name, but she stops and tells Fitz she wrote him a letter saying she’s sorry for not winning the presidency for him. A letter, Olivia . Really? I understand you are hurt and you would rather do what you have always done, which is run. But don’t you think Fitz is deserving of a goodbye or an answer even one as painful as the truth? But Fitz tells Olivia that she didn’t let him down, and while America didn’t chose him, she can.

Excuse me for a minute.

Okay. I’m back. But barely breathing. Olivia being Olivia bypasses Fitz’s request and tells him that she is going to Washington to help Marcus Walker get a criminal justice bill passed. Puppy eyes and lips quivers couldn’t begin to describe the yearning those two people feel every time they have to part. Fitz wishes Olivia good luck and Olivia wishes Fitz good luck with Mellie. Olivia leaves Fitz dejected and broken hearted . My eyes hurt from the light of their love, and my heart breaks for the star crossed lovers, and my thirst is finally being quenched after such a long olitz drought that I am edematous.


Olivia

Two months later after breaking up with Fitz, Olivia appears to be trying to fix herself by doing what she does best, staying busy working. Abby, Marcus and even Hobo Huck are all at Olivia’s workshop. It’s old, ugly and so very unlike our Olivia yet you can see the joy that she has with owning something that belongs to her and she’s not some boujee D.C. Girl like she is today. She’s humble and appreciative of the hardwork they have put in to create this. Beautiful. That’s pretty refreshing but I will tell you what’s not and that is Olivia dating Leo. Yup I threw up in my mouth at the idea of them….but another parallel to help dig the knife even deeper into olakers heart is the fact that our Olivia did this exact same thing with Jake after Fitz found out about defiance. She went on a date and shared a bit here and there but deep down it doesn’t erase Fitz, in reality or alternate reality, Olivia can’t escape the inevitable that is Fitzgerald Grant. Wherever she goes, he is always with her.

Originally posted by bballinspiration

The only difference about Olivia’s date with Jake and her would be date with Leo is that Fitz showed up for her and stopped her from making a mistake. So you see olakers it wasn’t necessarily Jake that was special it could have been ANYBODY even Leo! And before I hand olakers the final dagger, let me say that Olivia created this alternate world, and not once did she dream of Jake being in it. Olivia wishes she never met Jake, she wishes Fitz would have came to her and stopped her date like he did with Leo.

@dontfrget pic

Freshly defeated, Fitz shows up at Olivia’s apartment ready to ask for her hand in marriage. Unlike our scandal time we’re we see these two people both yearning to be with one another but because of time and circumstance they are always parted. Not in this world. Fitz isn’t going to wait to be with Olivia, he’s ready to be out in the open with her. Fitz showed up for Olivia even in her dream, he came back for her and stood on her doorstep telling her that he’s just a ex presidential candidate asking his campaign manager to love him, and do him the honor of becoming his wife because he’s so desperately in love with her and if she ’loves me half as much as I love you then it was worth the trip’

Originally posted by peaceisthenewhappy

As Fitz professes his love for Olivia, softly in the background their song plays. 'Will You Still love me’ the same song played when Olivia was arrested for releasing Rowan and we watched Olivia silently beg Fitz to still love her in spite of her short comings.

There is a reason why that song was played. Olivia was at her worse at the time and yet she still desperately wanted Fitz to see her and love her even though she was unable to love herself at the moment. Fitz’s is requesting the same of Olivia except much different circumstances. But the message is evident and by the shutting of Olivia’s elevator door just as Fitz had shut the door on them. But in this world, they don’t give up. They Fight. Olivia quickly opens the door and said ‘yes’ faintly with such overwhelming love pouring through her. The proposal is everything and more but again the one word Mellie said earlier comes back, all Olivia has to do is say ’yes’. Something she has failed to do often in her current life, and not to mention Shonda’s subtle mention of her own book. Yes.

@dontfrget  pic

I cannot begin to describe the joy still festering in my heart at the sight of Olivia following her heart instead of listening to her head, the unsurmountable joy radiating from her. Seldom does Olivia make such drastic choices without thinking it over but this time she went full force something she was unable to do in the real world out of fear.

The parallels are uncanny Mellie told Olivia in the beginning she just had to say 'one word’ and like in our realm of scandal when Olivia said ’yes’ to being Fitz’s mistress and effectively ending Fitz’s and Mellie’s marriage. Olivia done did it again, by saying yes to Fitz’s proposal. And we see Mellie lurking in the shadows at their wedding but she’s clearly over Fitz and not jealous of Olivia.
I’m sorry my pettiness is flaring up. But Olivia stays ruining Mellie’s life by getting her own life. You go girl with yo natural hair and backpack wearing self.

Now, back to Olivia and Fitz screwing the world so they could make their own.

@bananadome pic

Me watching olitz get it on. The whimpers. The moans. The eye contact.

Reunited and it feels so good. Ladies and Gentleman Fitz and Olivia are floating in space. Olivia done magically grabbed them keys from her purse and opened the door and left everything else behind. Olivia literally left her baggage behind but does that actually mean she left it behind? Yes and no. More on that later

Can I just say that I love that Olivia dreamt of all this. She dreamt of Fitz showing up and being her beacon of light and good. While Olivia has Huck, it doesn’t replace the hearts hunger for love and affection that can’t be suppressed. When the heart speaks it speaks. The attention to detail is a thing of beauty, Shonda truly out did herself with this episode, perfectly layering Olivia and Fitz’s relationship, once again reminding the audience and Olivia and Fitz that their love is real. For so long we have seen Olivia yearning but never actually tasting the sweetness that life could bring, the joy she will find in being ordinary, the fulfillment of reaching her goals without losing herself and the one she loves. This is the tender epilogue that these two souls deserves. They have suffered enough at the hands of others and themselves, it is time for Olivia to start claiming her life and taking it in her own hands.


The wedding

@dontfrget

We see Olivia in the dressing room with just Huck as they get ready for the wedding and Huck cut his hair and trimmed his beard for Olivia’s wedding.(don’t cry. Don’t cry, okay cry) you can see the wedding jitters plastered  on both of their faces but Olivia walks to Huck and gets him ready for their big day.

@dontfrget

As they walk another olitz’s greatest hit plays in the background. ‘You’re All I Need To Get By.’ This song was a turning point for Olivia and Fitz’s relationship, were Fitz finally earned Olivia and Olivia was accepting of being earned. The crowd is around her but all she can see is him standing there waiting for her. Olivia doesn’t appear frightened or scared about getting married but joyfully moved at the man waiting for her to cross over on the other side. Yes, he is all she needs to get by.

They exchange vows with their eyes remaining focused only on each other. With the chapel filled with roses we have set the scene to their very own rose garden. The church is filled with gold, roses, and lights that you get this feeling that this must be heaven.

@dontfrget

Rowan’s clearly not happy with there union even in the alternate reality just as much as it displeases him in reality. The fact that Olivia chose love over power is an enlightening moment. Olivia is giving herself the life she genuinely wants and is becoming the person she feels she could be with Fitz by her side with Rowan staying in the shadows. Who would have known how much Olivia would have changed had Rowan never influenced her.

A year into their marriage and Oliva and Fitz are still happy and very much in love; with Oliva wearing Fitz’s navy shirt these two are still newlyweds with Olivia keeping count of how many times Fitz brings her to climax. I know Olivia took that navy shirt with her when she left the White House, there’s no possible way she could have left without taking a piece of him with her.

Even though Olivia and Fitz are married; Olivia still has her commitment issues as evident by her lack of compromise on moving and Fitz being lazy with his lack of effort in everything; but one thing is certain which is Olivia still feels the calling to be more, to create a name for herself, to be somebody whereas Fitz is looking to be a nobody.

Olivia wants to get this bill passed but because Fitz isn’t President in this realm and she thereby has no real power and knows any of the Washington elite Olivia is once again powerless, a feeling she hates to her core especially when she has to watch her husband with all the power vested in him be a reporter instead of a leader that she knew he could have been had she rigged the election. Oh Olivia and Fitz.

Originally posted by vhsnetwork

We don’t need to see Mellie and Cyrus and their pretense marriage and I began to ask questions about how Jake met Fitz and why now and most importantly I bet Rowan has him following Olivia and Fitz but I’m not going to do that because it’s not real and Olivia obviously doesn’t care about jake or even find him to be even equivalent to a boyfriend or stranger. So I shall keep it moving. Jake’s involvement is minimal to none and that’s why this episode is perfect.

 Ironic that Olivia has made a point to separate herself from the people she’s been the closest too and the people who tend to bring out the worse in her (Rowan, Mellie, Jake) versus the people she’s been the most distant with yet represent her moral values ( Marcus, Abby, Fitz) oh Shonda the subtle messages you are delivering in this episode has left me completely and utterly flabbergasted. Even subconsciously Olivia is aware that associating with her dad and Jake bring out the worse in her, which is why this episode is refreshing to see, Olivia is aware of the moves being played around her  but in this realm because she is not morally compromised and is wearing the white hat she associates herself with the people who do as well. Olivia is basking in the glow of light and love my friends.

Olivia with Marcus…where’s Harrison! Okay. Anyways. Olivia finds OPA and she buys it without Fitz knowing. Now, I’m not saying Olivia needs Fitz’s approval but in a marriage their is this thing called respect and communication something even in this realm Olivia and Fitz still lack. You talk with your spouse, you communicate your plans and desires with your spouse and not leave them flying in the wind. Fitz made sure to make note that Olivia wasn’t okay with buying a house but totally okay with  buying OPA. Different reality but still the same damn olitz. Even married Olivia still suffers from commitment issues and taking the next step toward the unknown.

Sidenote: can I just say that I think it’s really cute how excited Olivia is to be in the oval versus now. Our Olivia walks around the oval like she owns the place and she partially does but this Olivia is able to appreciate it in a way our Olivia never has. And Olivia taking a selfie with JFK’s poster is the cutest thing ever but unfortunately as her and Marcus wait and wait for the President they quickly see that it was a mishap and they are never granted entry into the oval. Such a sour yet profound moment for Olivia. She wants power, she wants to make a difference but she is tied.

Upset and dejected Olivia comes home to see Fitz wasting away his potential with a glass of scotch. Oh this is going to hurt, the two begin to talk around one another like Olivia normally does when she doesn’t want to fight but ends up going for the gutter…*cough 509* …*cough breakup scene* Olivia and Fitz are having the same fight they had during the breakup, Fitz being selfished, Olivia constantly hiding, and the unforgettable blows under the belt they exchange.

Olivia references the ’big dog’ again, how she looks at Fitz and she doesn’t recognize him anymore but Fitz can’t live with the fact that he failed Olivia not Olivia failing him. Fitz drinking this much is never a good sign. The thing about Olivia and Fitz is that when things are good they are great but when it’s bad; it’s bad. Fitz fills his glass of scotch while asking Olivia if she’s screwing Marcus since he knows it’s not him. Olivia fires back by telling Fitz he never had a chance of winning and that he was ’unelectable. Grant for the people? Pathetic.’

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Always one for perfect timing; Olivia found that after insulting her husband she should then confess that the reason they are miserable is because she opted not to fix the election  and she is the only person who could have given him the presidency.

Originally posted by fuckyeahdragrace

I’m not sure what Olivia was thinking telling Fitz this now, oh I know it’s called self sabotage something Olivia does frequently and the most recent being after her abortion. She creates these near impossible situations to come out unscathed just with the hopes of being able to walk away from it all. Olivia plants these moments of destruction because it is much easier to be the one leaving versus being the one left. Fitz tells Olivia she should have rigged the election and Olivia is shocked at hearing Fitz say those words but she tells him “you wouldn’t have want to win that way.” Fitz disagrees and Olivia tells him that defiance would have destroyed them but it seems that they have done that already with Fitz’s final words being ’ at least I would have been President.’ Won’t lie I was pretty nervous at this point. This was the 509 fight all over again and I found myself having flashbacks and ptsd of that unforgettable episode.

Five months later

Olivia and Fitz are still together but are they really? Everything about them is cold and distant. Big sigh and deep breath.  

Instead of focusing on politics Fitz is now interviewing Lindsey aka Quinn aka the  bachelorette. The idea of having to lower himself to such standards and with Olivia’s words echoing in his head about being pathetic. Yeah. This is bad. And with Olivia’s Bill headed to the floor she is gaining the power without the help of the White House, showing that it is possible to have power and not lose your soul but one part still remains, will she and Fitz get through this together? And with Abby handing Olivia her divorce papers. The chances of them coming out of this together are slim.

Olivia isn’t playing games, she is getting her life and leaving Fitz behind. It is safe to say that one way or another Olivia was going to make a name for herself but the thing is that being on the top alone isn’t all that fun when you don’t have anybody to share it with, welcome Abby. Abby is forever Olivia’s voice of reason and truth(4x10)  and it still saddens me how low Olivia stooped with slapping Abby and treating her the way she did when she clearly holds her to such high esteem. Olivia brings up Abby and David being happily married, but Abby tells Olivia that she never gave Fitz a chance, and she honestly never has. Whenever Fitz falls from her ridiculously high pedestal instead of lowering the legs and waiting for him to get back up she runs or makes excuses as to why they will never work. Before leaving, Abby reminds Olivia why she is still living in her apartment. Woah.  In their current realm Fitz didn’t ask Olivia to move in to the White House but just took it upon himself, whereas this Fitz asked and pleaded and Olivia opted to stay put arguing that it was too big and cost too much. In both realities Olivia always had one foot out the door, she never gave them a chance.

 Olivia has some resentment over losing the election and having to watch Fitz chose being a celebrity over being a hero, for chosing that lifestyle over her and their shared ideas and politics that were so fundamental to who they were and who they strived to be. Regardless of time or the exact definition of their relationship, Olivia and Fitz always seem to connect through politics and the ideals they envisioned. ( ex. Brandon Bill) their relationship was at one of its most tumultuous moments with Fitz going to war to bring Olivia back. It was that bill that connected them once again and Olivia was remind of the man she voted for. It must be hard a pill to swallow for Olivia and Fitz as they move in perpendicular roads . Fitz needs his ass kicked that’s for sure but stick around Olivia to receive your reward otherwise someone else will. * cough Angela* *cough Quinn*

Quinn came into Fitz’s trailer to sleep with him and all I kept thinking was ‘don’t do this Fitz’. Don’t repeat Amanda Tanner cause this time you will actually be the father and Quinn would put you on child support before your pants drop. But Fitz and Quinn kiss and soon we find Quinn on her knees…yup…Amanda tanner style. The camera pans to Fitz looking at himself in the mirror as he attempts to drink his pain away but it doesn’t work and he sends Quinn away but somewhat sobered he sees his reflection in the mirror again and this time it’s stick. It’s a chilling sight to see but a much needed moment of reflection as he looks at the stranger staring back at him.


Mellie and Cyrus staged marriage comes to a climax where Mellie once again finds herself on the losing end, having been betrayed by Cyrus and Rowan who I’m ignoring throughout this episode. Mellie having been deflated goes to OPA to meet Olivia and tell her once in for all that she was right about defiance and she hates admitting that Olivia was right about defiance destroying Fitz. The parelles and tone of this monologue. Mellie confessed that she did what she thought she had to do in order to win and now she is trapped and being controlled by Rowan and Cyrus the same way Olivia is being controlled by Rowan in our current scandal. Agreeing to defiance, Olivia did what she deemed necessarily but now she is the one trapped. One of the good things that came out of not committing voter fraud was saving not only her soul but Fitz’s soul which is ultimately what hurted Olivia the most about Defiance. Hurting Fitz hurts Olivia.

Discussing Sally’s husband’s extra martial affair with James and the ’life of pretending’ On the air Fitz stops mid sentence and walks away. Fitz had been pretending for so long in our scandal realm that he forgot at one time what it meant to actually feel. Remember, pretending is real. Fitz walking off the set is setting the tone that he no longer wants to pretend, he’s ready.

Originally posted by bobs--burgers--flipping

Fitz comes home to a clearly pondering Olivia. Immediately Fitz tells Olivia the truth that he didn’t want the election, that he never wanted anything in life until he meet her. Cue the Olitz anthem ’the light ’. I just want to reiterate that Fitz has said this before, Rowan even acknowledge Fitz being a spoiled rich white boy who never worked for anything but found Olivia and was suddenly ready to be a man. This is true. Olivia showed Fitz the man he could be, the man he aspired to become with her by his side. While Olivia helped Fitz turn into a man, Fitz gave Olivia the freedom to love, and she does.

Fitz’s monologue is a thing of beauty but this wasn’t just entirely Fitz talking. This was Olivia. Fitz said everything Olivia has wanted to say but could never bring herself to speak aloud.

“Saying no to defiance was the right choice. I know that now. You tried to give me freedom. You tried to give me the chance to find happiness and I squandered it. That was on me. Only me. That’s why I’m sorry. I hadn’t  recognized it. I didn’t understand it.  I wasn’t thinking. It took me far too long to realize …. I have things to figure out. I have work, a lot of work to due; if there’re any hope of becoming the man I know I can be. The man you deserve. I still want you Olivia, if you’ll still have me.”

Olivia hands Fitz papers and Fitz timidly opens them expecting it to be divorce papers but it’s actually an ad of their soon to be Georgetown complex. Fitz picked Vermont for them and Olivia picked Georgetown. You see, unlike 509 where they broke up and went their separate ways, here in this world Olivia is claiming her life and ready to put forth the work and work towards creating a better life for her and Fitz, the life they deserve. In this world instead of fighting each other they hope to fight for one another. There is something unequivocally satisfying at watching Olivia finally seeing the life and light she’s been so afraid to have and to finally know now that it’s possible. Olivia doesn’t have to sell her soul for power and sacrifice love in order to be victorious. Olivia can claim the life she wants, if she is willing to fight for it.

Now that Olivia has found the key, she comes back from her dream with the biggest smile on her face as she once again leaves her baggage behind to find Fitz but this time I think the baggage might stay away. Olivia walking out the oval and leaving behind her pursue and coat and other possessions signifies this significant change inside her, now all of her worldly possessions me nothing to her without him by her side. The power, the money, the jewels are all an illusion that kept her from seeing the truth. Love. This episode is only about love. Olivia has denied herself this amazing love for so long and it seems that it is just now hitting her what it truly means. Love comes with setbacks and downfalls, you won’t always be happy but at least you know you have someone to fall back on if you fall. 

  But as Olivia walks through the corridor, she’s not exactly walking to Fitz but she’s running to him with such joy and vigor at what her life seems to have foretold. The mood is infectious and I feel we all have found ourselves rooting for Olivia and her pursuit of happiness as she runs to the balcony to find Fitz alone and at the same spot where she last confessed her love and desire to start a real relationship with him (4x22) . The balcony is a significant monument to Olivia and Fitz, it was here that Olivia came to Fitz after she removed her father (temporarily) from her life to create a new one with Fitz. As the camera pans on Olivia; we see her staring adoringly at Fitz with those little specks of light in her eyes. With this new found glow and light it is obvious that Olivia is feeling this extraordinary surge of love for Fitz and from Fitz. My God Olivia is in love and it feels as though she is just now realizing just how profound her love for him and the possibility of them is. Turning to Fitz she smiles at him happily as she tells him “I’m in.”  And she’s not just referring to Cyrus being exonerated but she’s ’in’ with him. Olivia is ’in’ her right frame of mind, she’s ’in’ love with Fitz, and she’s ’in’ this to win it. Olivia Pope is ’in’. I do not see Olivia making a complete 360 overnight but this is promising episode leading to a more satisfying ending.

For the first time in quite some time Olivia felt a tangible sensation she swore she lost long ago.

Hope.

Deep Space Nine RECAP: 6x13

Whoa wait. Somehow in everyone’s pitching of notable™ episodes to recap and season primers and what all else, I had not gotten that this one was

SPECTACLES SISKO IN THE 1950s???

Wow okay!!

Season 6, Episode 13: ‘Far Beyond the Stars’

Captain Benjamin Sisko sits at his desk surrounded by a litter of iPads, like so many fallen leaves — like so many of his fallen comrades.

“The Cortez was a good ship!” he mourns to Major Kira. He had introduced the captain to his wife. And now, the war with the Dominion has taken them too.

Kira passes Papa Sisko at the doorway — Ben’s dad is finally visiting Deep Space 9! But it has not been the cheeriest visit, laden down as Ben has been with war and loss. Sweetly, his dad tells him that’s actually why he came: “I’ve been worried about you. The last couple of times we talked it seemed like you were carrying the weight of the entire Alpha Quadrant on your shoulders.”

Captain Atlas confides that he doesn’t know how much more he can bear. He wonders…he wonders if he should pass the weight to someone else. Let someone else make the decisions, have the glories and the losses. Have his command.

Papa Sisko assures Ben he will support him no matter what happens.

What then happens is René Auberjonois walking past the door wearing an old-fashioned suit & hat, which presumedly is not what he had in mind.

Keep reading

|| Hybrid!au || Yugyeom 3-3 ||

Originally posted by ofsunandstars

Goodbye Yugyeom: You’ll be missed :(

Warning: You’re gonna cry :))))

                                                    1.719 words

Keep reading

Can I say how much it bothers me to see inspirational messages like these show up in my feed? Great, I’m all for trying to encourage your friends to improve their lives and be positive about the future. However, I take particular issue with the line here, and found elsewhere, that “Happiness is a choice.” No it isn’t. Happiness, like other emotions, is not a verb. It’s a noun that describes a reaction, often fleeting, derived from extraneous circumstances.

To suggest it is as simple as a choice to be happy also suggests that I and millions of people like me are choosing the depression and anxiety that we carry. At best it holds the same weight as the empty and false platitude that “Frowning takes more muscles than smiling!” At worst it can be interpreted as victim blaming those for not trying hard enough to choose their way out of their mental health struggles.

Perhaps choose your inspirational quotes more wisely.

tremble

ao3

“You’re holding back.”

Zoro’s feet skidded across the deck as he is pushed backward from the sheer power of Sanji’s kick. “You’re imagining things, cook.”

Sanji spits his cigarette, his expression twisted with anger. “Bullshit," he snarls. "I have kicked those shitty blades thousands of times for the past two years. ‘Imagining things’ my ass.”

Keep reading

Jedi Disorder

we have been chosen
by devestating demonic stars
to carry weight like no other
could bear

we wield power charged carbonly
by different development
departmentaly compositions​
&
filing systems

it is not as simple
as blackwhite
Light and Dark
bipolarity division
moraliterial line-sand-Sides
ask euthyphro
about piety
and Anakin’s
ghost about sobriety

Fear is the little brother
of Anger, leading
Hatred like carrot eyed donkeys
we follow it all with handfuls
of pills, shots, cigarettes
Suffering because of our
emotional Force Sensitivities

isn’t it funny how the only way
a Jedi could finish a Sith
was in a state of anger
ironically preaching the whole
time against using it?

what does that say

about us?

B.E. Grissom
5/25/17