the weight of things

Let it burn

Family dynamics are complicated. Everyone knows that. You have your kitchen witches who can feed an army in the blink of an eye. People forget how dangerous they can be. The talent for pouring your will, your essence, into a pot bubbling on the stove, is not one to take lightly. You can heal people with it, or you can kill. If you let the bitterness coiled in your heart touch your hands while you’re stirring that sauce, you can set someone to wasting away from hunger that will never be satisfied.


Then you have the peacemakers. They can charm a room with a breath. Not the kind of charm that worms its way into the blood and can build enough wanting to start a war, but the kind that diffuses a storm before a fist is thrown. When the air is never cleared, peace becomes more valuable.


There are all kinds of families, and all of them are complicated. Every home is walls that have soaked up the love and hate that only ever lives inside a family bound by blood. The problem is, when you’re the quiet one, the one nobody sees in the corner behind a book or slipping between the shadows because you’re still so very small and they haven’t learned to notice you yet, people forget that you have eyes, and a mind, and though you will eventually inherit some of the talents your family is known for, you are still yourself.


Some people are magnets for souls that need unburdened. Whether they like it or not. The luckiest can take the occasional hit of someone truly confessing in need, because these are balanced by all the flibbertigibbet streams of consciousness who are still too afraid to ask, but still need to be heard. The talent for seeing is often coupled to a talent for nudging. If you’re going to help, you have to be able to sway a soul in the desired direction. It’s a pity so many with this talent, misuse it.


They forget that your gift, is to remember. They forget you don’t sleep when you’re supposed to. They forget you understand more than you should. When you’re small, they forget who they are supposed to be. The words flow in a constant hum. Your dreams wake the house and you don’t know why. They’ve forgotten, but you can’t forget at all.


Then one day, you sit in an empty house, surrounded by the rage and screams and memories of bones that were never yours, breaking. You sit there, with a piece of bread. The bread is supposed to belong to you. It is absolution and exculpation and in that bread is not one drop of regret for what you have been asked to do.


You listen to the room, with its desperate sussurations imploring you to do what you came here for or get out and be damned.


“Family dynamics are complicated. Everyone knows that,” you make certain to speak clearly, because you’re only going to be able to say it once. You pour oil over the piece of bread, the way you’re supposed to, and you can’t stop yourself from fidgeting with the matchbook, to light the candle in the center of the table.


“I spent years swallowing what you all forgot I could hear. Every time, it burned, like acid on my tongue. You forgot I was there, you forgot that remembering is my purpose, you forgot that of all the talents we carry, this one scars deep and quick. You forgot even though you woke with the screams that I never uttered, ringing in your ears. And yet you ask this of me.”


The room is ready to shatter. You hold it there. There should be something more meaningful than this, something that guarantees you walk away cleanly from the things these restless, long-dormant ghosts have weighted you down with since you were old enough to hear them. If such a thing exists, you haven’t found it yet, so you make do with what you’ve got.


“I wasn’t built to be this family’s sin-eater. I’ve done it, for far too long, but I will not do this.”


It’s easy, then, to drop a match into the oil, and listen to the screams of those who never once asked for forgiveness, as they burn.



*taps mic* there’s a big difference between mocking ryan’s acting ability (something which he’ll never see because he’s doesn’t even have social media, and even if he did we’d never said him awful tweets anyway) and sending genuinely hurtful and hateful tweets emily’s way about her weight and appearance and calling things such as bitch and slut, something that’s routed in misogyny and fetishisation of mlm. goodnight.

Update

Hey guys I don’t know that I’ll be posting any original stuff anymore or at least for a while. It’s been fun but this belly thing is making me gain weight which I do not want to do. It’s really hurting myself esteem and self image. And that’s something I can’t afford to deal with. It’s not healthy any more

heyitskatrina  asked:

Gasp! You're anything but ugly! Whoever teased you was a douchebag (might still be). You're the living meme of 'She's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face'.

This made me LOL XD Is that really a meme? It’s fantastic.

I wasn’t ugly, just awkward. Braces, glasses, and a major growth spurt + zero weight gain. I was a gangly thing. But you know how it goes. Kids are cruel.

anonymous asked:

I will never understand how ks is in any way fat?? He is chubby at best. He isn't even that chubby.

He was quite chubby last yr b4 exact cb. But he lost a lot of weight in june. And now, he looks fine imo. The most important thing is that he is happy. Ppl is just salty that ks is getting all the positive attention that their bias don’t altho ks doesn’t fulfill that ‘oppa criteria’ 100% adfhsljal hahah. u guys have bad taste in men. lmao. offence to those who re offended.

Take care anon!

anonymous asked:

How do you usually tell the difference between someone who does art depicting fat women as sensual, sexual beings and an artist with a fetish?

Hooo boy honestly I don’t think there are really any set guidelines you can follow for this kind of thing? I mean usually the more extreme weight gain/SSBBW artists will be upfront about what they’re doing so it’s obvious from the start, but I don’t think I’ve ever really come across like… insidiously deceptive fat fetish artists who aren’t upfront about it if that makes sense?

But on the other hand like, what’s the difference between a fat “fetish” artist and just a “regular” nsfw artist aside from the size of their drawing subjects? That’s where it gets kinda tricky for me because I sometimes feel like the fat fetish label sometimes still upholds slim/average sized women in erotic art as the *standard* and anyone who’s aroused primarily by anything else are automatically sort of deviants. Like insisting being primarily attracted to fat people has to be a “thing” and not just normal attraction. 

For instance, what’s the difference between Artist 1 talking about being super into a slim character’s tight abs and defined physique versus Artist 2 waxing poetic about a fat character’s soft belly and jiggly thighs? They’re both simply physical attributes that someone finds attractive. But that’s getting into a whole other can of worms.

All in all, I think you can mostly rely on how an artist talks about what they’re drawing (if they add any commentary at all). Like someone talking about fat women in dehumanizing objectifying language would obviously be a red flag.

2

I have come such a long way. Sure my health has been in the worst spot it has been in a long time and sure I’ve been hospitalized a lot recently.. but. There is one thing that has improved. My weight. I went from 79-78 pounds to 110 ish in the last 4 months thanks to my feeding tube. I am so thankful for the medical devices I am able to use from the medical advancements we have today.

[resistance chat]

@reynard-boisseau, @pimherrera, @bishopppp, @graysunelder, @wees-not-wis, @multifacedmax

[Nic]: so, we have two things to consider
[Nic]: one: Luca Taylor is weighing up his options between us and the new order, trying to figure out who he should throw his weight behind.
[Nic]: things he can offer are money, a political background, management, and his ability, precognition
[Nic]: thoughts?
[Nic]: secondly: i got word from an urchin that overheard compound security chatting about a new order server bank that’s been installed in a warehouse, unattached to the main new order buildings
[Nic]: security thought it was being used to crunch numbers for their experiment data, unmanned, no staff needed to run it
[Nic]: if it accidentally burned down, it’d set them back a lot

Day 10

What was the hardest thing you gave up during this “weight loss.”

I’ve never really thought about it? Like , food related I never consciously gave anything up. Just suddenly one day all food was gross to me. Unless i get in a binge mood, just looking at food and thinking about eating it makes me feel sick. And after binges, thinking about all the food i ate makes me feel even more sick. I just have a easier time avoiding food now. I never really “gave up” any of it.Hopefully soon i’ll be giving up my old wardrobe though ayyyy. Some of my clothes are already getting too baggy whoop. I’ll have to give some clothes up soon lmao

The novice sledgehammerer (from the German sledgehammeramalamadingdong) must be familiar with a few terms:

Thunk:  the sound the “clanker” (street term for ‘heavy weighted slug’) makes when wielded against the “stuff” (see next)

Stuff:  things that are to be wanged (see next)

Wang:  the impact of the clanker and the stuff

Smithereens:  the result of being wanged

Many people are surprised to find out that the sledgehammer has only one moving part: it.  Yet “should I buy now or wait for the new models?” is a refrain often heard from the panicky first-timer, who forgets that the number of sledgehammer innovations in the last three-thousand years can be counted on one finger…. Don’t let market confusion keep you from getting your feet wet. 

The longer you wait, the fewer things you will demolish.

-Steve Martin, “The Sledgehammer: How it Works”, Pure Drivel

25 things women should never have to apologize for:
1. Her bodily functions
2. Not being feminine or girly
3. Loving how she looks
4. Having an abortion
5. Not wearing make-up
6. Being single
7. Not settling in relationships
8. Having body hair
9. Her bra size
10. Being outspoken
11. Having a high/low/non-existent sex drive
12. Putting herself first
13. Her body weight
14. Not wanting children
15. Saying no to a man
16. Having a pussy that smells like pussy
17. Being smart
18. Her age
19. Having a resting bitch face
20. Not wanting a relationship
21. Having a higher paid job
22. Her mental illness or disability
23. Not aspiring to be pretty or sexy
24. Demanding gender equality
25. Her womanhood

The n word doesn’t have the same weight in every language/culture… juuuuuuuuuust saying. Not every same thing is offensive in every culture. Like eating your plate empty at a restaurant can mean different things, same for tipping the waiter. In some countries, tipping is a huge offense.

Same 👏 counts 👏 for 👏 languages

Not everything revolves around the US, I’m sick of people treating everything with the morals and cultural background of a US citizin… 

Stop holding everybody’s actions to YOUR values and culture, they have their own culture

Marvel: Steve and Bucky? They’re just friends, totally platonic.
Me: You had Steve become more than a glorified salesman to rescue Bucky, you had him become The First Avenger™ so he could avenge Bucky’s death, Bucky broke through the brainwashing of Hydra after hearing Steve say a phrase that sounds a lot like a wedding vow, Steve literally pulled a helicopter out of the sky with his own two hands to rescue Bucky, you’ve on multiple times had parallels between the two and canon pairings, and more than once shown them willing to die for each other.
Marvel:

3

Jiyong letting us know he’s on a boat