the way you were raised

a minor Crit Role thing I appreciate the hell out of is how you can tell Percy and Cassandra are siblings by the way they talk, particularly with each other. Not the bickering - though that’s beautiful - but the similarities of cadence, tone, a slight tendency toward aphorisms. They edge around their emotions and focus on tasks at hand instead in exactly the same way. You can tell they were raised in the same house, taught the same values and ways to function socially. And clearly this was a choice Matt made at some point, to mirror Taliesin-as-Percy in this, and Taliesin returns it and I appreciate the hell out of them.

I. You wash his sweater; the one you’ve been using
as a pillow for the past couple of weeks, squeezing out
any remnant of how he smelled that winter, or the popcorn
at the movies the first time he said he loved you.
 
II. By accident, and then all on purpose, break every stupid
hipster mixed tape he ever made you. Use the ribbon
as Christmas tinsel. Let every hand-picked song sing
through the garbage disposal.
 
III. Invent someone new. Tell your family all about him
at Thanksgiving. Tell them about the great sex;
the way he makes you howl
like you were raised by wolves. Never bring him back home.
 
IV. By the fifth week, you can do the big stuff. Erase his name
from your phone. Yes, even though he is now “don’t call,”
take it one step farther. Consider yourself cleaner
without the weight he holds in your back pocket.
 
V. Say yes when the boy with sweet cologne and nice lips
asks you out for the night. Don’t say anything
about coming out of a relationship. Soak up everything
that he is. And finally, let him do the same.
—  Schuyler Peck, How Long It Takes
dark zodiac poetry

aries: those who love you also fear you

taurus: one day you will find peace within your insanity. one day

gemini: i wish you wouldn’t kill parts of yourself solely to please others

cancer: you can love and love and love all you want, but those who are dying can not be saved and you of all people should have known that

leo: if you let anger continue to control your life, you may never have one

virgo: you can not be anything less than perfect. it is in your blood and in the way you were raised and anything less is a shame. it is shown in the grades you shed skin to achieve and in the way you think twice before making a sound

libra: you should watch your back. not everyone forgives you for your ruthless words as easily as you had thought

scorpio: your psychotic mind will get you nowhere

sagittarius: you think you know pain but soon you will learn it is not as clean cut as you think

capricorn: i had hoped you would have known better than to mess with demons crueler than yourself

aquarius: the world starts and ends with you. you are there when daylight shines through the horizon and your eyes reflect the golden hues, and you are there when the sun meets its doom and shadows fill the sky as light from the stars crack and appear through the dark ever so often - so much like your own heart

pisces: i wish i could make you understand that if you continue to share pieces of your heart with everyone you meet, soon you will not have anything left of yourself

(just based on personal experiences)
Out of My League (King George III x Reader)

Hello! This is my first fic (and, to be honest, I’m not very good at tumblr) so any feedback will be much appreciated! I’m not really sure about ideal length so this is just more of a test. I wrote this since I’m a Brit through and through so obvs George is one of my fav characters in Hamilton!


You had married George about a year ago. For a while, your life was bliss. You had a husband who loved you and showered you in whatever you desired (not that you’d ever actually request anything). You loved each other, and that was all that mattered. However, your ‘loyal’ subjects did’t see it that way. You were born and raised a commoner. Obviously, your courtship and marriage had caused quite a fuss, particularly within certain elitist circles, but George quickly ordered them to quieten their mouths.

Only, recently, the gossip had started up again. Maybe you had broken some kind of etiquette? Maybe you had offended someone? All you knew was that it was back, and worse than ever. When they thought you weren’t listening, they called you a 'whore who’d spread her legs for anyone, as long as they had money’. They accused you of sorcery, bewitching the king and clouding his judgement. Many of the comments were in a similar vain, spoken by nobles who were jealous that you had managed to catch the King’s eye. They didn’t affect you nearly as much as the other comments did.

“She’ll never be fit to be Queen”.
“She’s a distraction”.
“She’d never have the courage nor the intelligence to make any real decisions”.
“She’s nothing more than a pretty face”.

Every word pierced your heart. They attacked one of your worst insecurities. Sure, you’d never had a formal education but you had read your father’s books and taught yourself everything you needed to know. You had learned through sheer tenacity and force of will, and ended up with knowledge that rivals even your husband’s. But, you weren’t raised to rule. You didn’t know the ins and outs of high society. You just tried your hardest and hoped for the best. Still, the fact that people thought you weren’t good enough upset you more than it should have.

“My love, what troubles you?” asked George, seeing an expression of worry mar your beautiful face.
“George, I need you to answer this honestly”.
“What is it dear?” he said, feeling slightly apprehensive as to what affected you this much.
“Am I a burden?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

After saying it out loud, it seemed like everything came crashing down. What if they were right? What if you were a burden - useless to George and the country? What if he hates you? What if it was all pity and he never truly loved you? 

You couldn’t stop the tears streaming down your face or the sobs escaping your lips.

You found yourself encapsulated by his arms. He cradled you close, with your head resting on his chest, his slightly musky scent tickling your nose. This was the feeling of safety, of warmth. The feeling of home. He just held you there in a protective cocoon.

“Shh, you silly girl. Dry those tears” he said, drying your eyes with his robe. “Whatever could have given you that idea?”
“I-I’m sorry. I ju-just.” You hiccuped and broke down again, the horrible words still swimming in your mind.
“Shh, my sweet. I’ll be here as long as you need me”.
“Sorry, I’m useless. Pathetic. Weak.” you mumbled, as you tried to pull away from him. He held you tighter.

“Look at me” he demanded. You managed to pull away this time, avoiding his eye contact and mumbling some sort of excuse.
“Look. At. Me.” he demanded, more forcefully this time. He put his thumb under your chin, lifting it so that your eyes met. You stared into his captivating blue eyes, a feeling of guilt bubbling up. His eyes softened.
“What am I going to do with you?” he sighed. “[Y/N], I love you so much, can’t you see that? I would move the heavens for you”. At this, he stole a sweet kiss. 

“Please, what’s gotten into you?”
“I-I heard some pe-people talking about m-me”. Your voice wavered and you lost the courage to go on.
“What did they say?” He spoke softly and comfortingly, trying to coax you to go on. You told him everything you had heard. Every last insult, mean comment and snide remark.
“Oh [Y/N]” he whispered, as he held you close. “You didn’t need to face this alone. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Please, speak to me next time.”
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you or waste your time.” you stuttered.
“My sweet, I would give up my entire kingdom if it meant your happiness”. He smiled as you blushed prettily under his intense gaze.
“B-but all those people said-”
“Never mind what they said. You are what’s most important to me. What do those people know?” he whispered.

Then, upon the realisation that it was his subjects that caused this, his gaze hardened and sparked with anger. “Who are these people who dares cause you such grief? I will execute them immediately!” His eagerness to jump to your defense warmed your heart.
“George, it’s fine. Drop it. It’s just people in the court gossiping”.
“But, my love-”
“It’s fine George. Yes, their words hurt. Yes, I won’t forget them. Yes, they were horrible and uncalled for, but it was just gossip. Nothing more, nothing less. We can’t convict them on human nature. Just let it go, for me?”
“How did I ever convince someone like you to be my wife?” he asked in awe. “You’re just plain amazing, you know that right?”
“George.” you said, exasperated at his attempt to sidetrack you.
“Ok, I promise I won’t do anything. For you, my sweet, I give my word.”





“But seriously, can’t I chop a couple of heads off?”
George.
“Sorry, dear.” and the King of England, ruler of millions, meekly complied.

Question 10: If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I hardly remember the day my father left. I have a vague memory of sitting on a bed in the room I shared with my brother. In my memory, that’s where Dad explained he was leaving, but I don’t know if that’s correct, nor do I remember any of what he said. The only clear memory I have of that day was after he left, I walked out of our room and saw my mother sitting in the bathroom, her face buried in her hands, her shoulders rocking with sobs. Talking to my dad recently, I learned it was just before New Years, 1989.

I don’t remember any specific time where my parents sat me down and asked me to choose between them. I don’t think it happened that way. I’m planning to ask my dad about it soon, but it seems important in answering this question that I go by what I can remember.

My brother decided to go live with my dad. I chose to stay with Mom, not because I wanted to stay with her, but because I didn’t want her to be alone.

At any point, I could’ve gone to live with my dad. When after my mom’s first post-divorce boyfriend moved out and she spiraled into the arms of several different men, I could’ve gone to live with Dad. As her paychecks left us in lines at food pantries and eating leftovers from her job at Burger King, I could’ve gone to live with Dad.

But I stayed.

I stayed, and I learned how to do laundry and get myself ready for school in the morning. I stayed, and I learned how to have dinner ready for us when she got home from work. I stayed, and I learned how to bury myself in books and to make myself small and quiet.

Because when you’re small and quiet, you aren’t a bother.

And later, when my step-dad started to show us who he really was, I learned to say, “Everything’s fine.” When teachers and counselors and the parents of friends would ask how things were at home, I said, “Everything’s fine.” When my dad or my step-mom would ask why I had trouble sleeping at night, I said, “Everything’s fine.”

Because when everything’s fine, you can stay with your mother. You can stay awake and make sure the man raging drunk into your home in the middle of the night goes to bed without much incident. Or when he throws her across the room, you can be there. You can help her to her feet, help her to the car, help her file the police report she might not have filed if you weren’t there.

*   *   *

It’s become something of a joke in my family, how self-sufficient I’ve been throughout my life. How even as a kid, I asked for very little. How even as a kid, the level of pain I would endure so I wouldn’t be a bother.

My dad and step-mom like to tell a story of when I was maybe 10 or 11 years old. I had woken up before anyone else and was passing the time lifting weights in my dad’s home gym. Not paying attention, I caught my finger in a pinch zone in the leg extension machine. I stripped the fingernail clean out of the nail bed.

The pain was immediate and excruciating, but I didn’t cry out. I gritted my teeth so hard, I’m shocked I didn’t crack a molar. I soaked a towel in cool water and went to lay on the couch. I whimpered there for maybe an hour, my legs twitching, tears hot in my eyes, clutching the cloth around my finger so it felt a dull ache rather than a searing pain. An ache, I could handle.

When my step-mom finally came into the living room, she asked why I didn’t wake them up.

“I didn’t want to bother anyone,” I said.

*   *   *

Everything’s not fine.

It’s 7pm, New Year’s Eve 2016, and I’m crying on my balcony. I feel sad, and alone, and tired. I’ve felt that way for a long, long time.

Since I was a kid, I’ve thought I was the problem. I thought if I was just a better son, maybe I could’ve made things better for my mom and me. I thought if I was just a bit bigger, a bit stronger, maybe I could’ve stood up to my step-dad—if my mom couldn’t be strong enough to tell him to leave, maybe I could have. I thought, if I was better for someone else, if I was more what they wanted or needed me to be—whatever the problem, if I could change myself—everything would be fine.

I’ve spent my life taking on the needs and the wants of everyone else, protecting people even when they never asked me to, even when they’ve asked me not to.

That’s the only purpose I knew growing up. Protect my mom from loneliness. Protect my mom from my step-dad.

In all the books and all the movies and all the church services I attended when I was kid, to sacrifice yourself for another was the noblest thing you could ever do. So that’s what I did.

*   *   * 

If that sounds noble, it’s not.

I am a liar. That’s how I protect people now. “Everything’s fine.” I learned it young.

I’ve stayed in relationships far too long. I’ve forgiven far too many hurtful things done to me without asking for an apology. Hell, I tried for years to believe in a God I don’t believe in for the sake of my marriage and my friends.

If I had to guess, 90% of all the lies I’ve ever lived or told were because I didn’t want to hurt someone. I wanted to protect someone from some shameful part of myself. I thought I knew the truth they wanted to hear, and I could change myself into that truth. I thought I knew what was best for them, and I thought I could be the best for them. What an asshole.

Sure, there are far worse reasons for lying, and sure, we all do this. We all try to spare others’ feelings. Maybe the meatloaf is dry and you say it’s delicious. Maybe a haircut goes horribly wrong and you say it looks good.

But I do this to an unhealthy and destructive degree. Not just destructive to myself, but destructive to pretty much every relationship I’ve been in throughout my life, even recent ones. Because the truth will out, right? Eventually, I will get sad, I will get tired of trying to be who I’m not. And by the time the truth comes out, it’s too late. 

In that way, I am the problem. I’m just now learning, just now putting all the pieces together. Fucking 33 years old, and I’m just now figuring out how not to wreck everything. In that way, I do need to change.

That phrase, “Live your truth.” I’ve always fucking hated that phrase.

But the truth is I need help. I want to be weak sometimes, sad sometimes, imperfect sometimes. And I want to share those times with someone who won’t think less of me for it. I want to be able to say, “Everything’s not fine,” and know someone won’t send me away. 

I’ve come to a place where I can admit that. I wish I could’ve admitted that when I was 10. 

I don’t wish that I would’ve gone to live with my dad. That’s the easy answer. That has always been the easy answer. Those years with mom, however detrimental, also shaped me in ways I would never want to let go. Those years grew in me a desire and a capacity for empathy, goodness, and grace that I don’t think I would have today without them.

Rather, I simply wish I would’ve been raised to feel it was okay to say, “Everything’s not fine.” I wish I would’ve been raised to feel I wasn’t a bother, that it was okay to need somebody sometimes. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes.

You know what, forget it. It’s like I said… you can’t help it. It’s not your fault. It’s easy for you to throw people away and just move on when things are bad. It’s not you, it’s the way you were raised or not raised. I wanted to marry you. I was asking you for something you’re not capable of. I should’ve known better.
—  Rabastan [to Andromeda]
Here, Here, and Here Starters
  • Please don’t forget me.
  • I’m going away. 
  • I just need to feel safe. 
  • Dont forget what I said.
  • Every night I pray for you.
  • I don’t wanna die here.
  • I’ve no desire to get married. 
  • I don’t feel a thing.
  • You’re lazy, selfish, but you were raised that way.
  • I am loyal because I was simply raised that way.
  • By the way, I never really liked your hands on me.
  • Will you die first, before admit the truth?
  • They don’t make them like us anymore.
  • You said the world is hard to face.
  • Thank you for telling me I can’t.
  • Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am.
  • When I see you again, I won’t be bitter .
  • I am not anymore surprised at your phone calls at 4 in the morning.
  • My scar looks like a bear, or a rabbit.
  • You’ve got to run. 
  • They’re coming at you with their guns.
  • Whoever thought we’d fall so far? 
  • You’ve got to learn to act like God. 
  • You rule the world, you give the word. 
  • And if someone should fall behind, just let their suffering slip your mind.
  • I said, if you pray for me I’ll pray for you and cash flow too, why not?
  • Dumb people swore they saw the devil.
  • Most prayed they wouldn’t last a winter.
  • Throw those blessings all around.
  • It’s not all roses like your mama said.
  • We drank holy water like the wedding supper.
  • Did you think about what I said last night?
  • Do you really feel like this love is real?
  • I’m bored of your love.
  • I’m bored of your face.
  • So, I thought about what you said last night.
  • I hope you still feel like this love is for real.
  • I’m in love with your love.
  • I wish you put effort in trying to make this new.
  • I would if you asked me, I’d do anything for you.
  • I wish we were strangers.
  • Can I take you out just this one last time, we could pretend I never met you.
  • When it’s over and done it won’t quite be the same without you.
  • I’ll remember you.
  • My love rests in a shipwreck with a compass in his head.
  • I’ll wait for him, like vultures wait for bodies. 
  • I hear his voice now, at the bottom of the blue. 
  • I left my soul next to the shore. 
  • I miss your half- Irish grin.
  • They say you’ll never make it home! 
  • He is to me my life.
  • I’ve got my same old nose and no cheekbones.
  • I won’t be sorry, won’t go moping around.
  • Think I’ll throw in the towel right now.
  • I’m not bitter, I’m not mouthing off words.
  • When I was younger, I wish that I would have known better.
  • It could be worse, could be born with that disease, instead of catching it first.
  • Mercy. Mercy.
  • These things take time love.
  • You’ve got to weigh your wars, make sure you’re not fighting for nothing.
  • Are you fighting for nothing?
  • Maybe I’ll be a poet.
  • I’ve got my mouth, it’s a weapon.
  • I’ve got my words. I hope they hurt you.
  • I hope they cut you open, make you see you’ve been warring for all the wrong reasons.
  • Some things are worth bruising for.
  • Your life’s not to be lived alone.
  • You’re worth nothing.
  • I won’t go till you’re asleep.
  • If all that you take from this is courage, then I’ve no regrets.
  • I wanted to kiss you goodnight.
  • Don’t settle for less again. 
  • You’ve become more than I could have become for you.
  • No longer can pretend it won’t cave in and will be alright.
  • I said I’d make it through this world alright, but I don’t care to try.
  • I love my mother, hope to see her again.
  • I’m a wanderer now, sorrow befalls me.
  • I laugh often so I suppose I’m gonna be fine.
You know what, forget it. It’s like I said… you can’t help it. It’s not your fault. It’s easy for you to throw people away and just move on when things are bad. It’s not you, it’s the way you were raised or not raised. I wanted to marry you. I was asking you for something you’re not capable of. I should’ve known better.
—  Alex Karev
Random Questions Part 2
  • 1. What do you personally think is the best way to die if you had to?
  • 2. What is something that will always have you cringing out of embarrassment?
  • 3. Describe your best friend. Is that description applicable to you too?
  • 4. What is the craziest thing that happened to you in the past month?
  • 5. What do you want the most, right at this moment?
  • 6. Is there anything you would regret not doing or saying if you died today?
  • 7. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?
  • 8. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • 9. What is your favorite thing to do when you are home alone?
  • 10. If you could invent anything as long as it could benefit others, what would it be?
  • 11. What do people misunderstand about you?
  • 12. What moment in your life do you think has changed your life the most?
  • 13. What is something you're looking forward to?
  • 14. If you had to bring something into show and tell, what would it be?
  • 15. In a fight, what would you choose to use as your weapon?
  • 16. What color is your poo first thing in the morning?
  • 17. Are you a spender or a saver?
  • 18. Do you handle stress well?
  • 19. How would you kill a person if you had to?
  • 20. Do you prefer the front row or last row when sitting in a rollercoaster?
  • 21. What is the last thing that touched your lips?
  • 22. What do you want for your birthday?
  • 23. What do you think are some of your biggest flaws?
  • 24. Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
  • 25. Do you hang your toilet paper over or under?
The 36 Stranger Love Questions

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

I wish I could forget everything about you. The names of your dogs, the fact that your uncle’s gay, what your dads tattoos look like, what color the walls were, the way your carpet in the basement felt on my feet, everything. You bullied me, and I didn’t even know it. Your dad is a piece of shit and your mom would leave him if she had the money. It’s not entirely your fault, this is in your genes, you were raised this way. Not a day goes by where you don’t haunt me, but you need to let me go. Let me go.

I don’t define people based on their opinions. Opinions change. People learn things. I don’t understand why people write others off so easily based on them.
— 

INTP

I have opinions. But I would rather be seen through my want to understand the matter than what I have to say on it.

7 Childhood Issues that Affect our Later Relationships

1. Threats and fear of abandonment. These can lead to jealousy and feelings of insecurity.

2. Lack of emotional nurturing. This can lead to feelings of emotional deprivation – which can feel like a bottomless pit to fill.

3. Growing up with feelings of entitlement. This can lead to feeling as if you don’t have to live by the same rules as others – as you are special, and a bit superior.

4. Being told that you’re inferior or inadequate. This causes you feel like you’re never good enough.

5. The demand to be perfect, and to always get things right. This can leading to being driven – and incredibly high standards.

6. Being betrayed by those you trusted – so you won’t trust now, and you can’t get close to others, or let them get close to you.

7. Being raised is a way that your needs were denied, not allowed, disregarded, trivialised or ignored. This can lead to a doormat type of personality where other people matter – and your needs never count.

NY Times Quiz: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love
  • 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  • 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  • 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  • 4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  • 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  • 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  • 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  • 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  • 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  • 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • 11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  • 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  • 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • 14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  • 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  • 16. What do you value most in a friendship?
  • 17. What is your most treasured memory?
  • 18. What is your most terrible memory?
  • 19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  • 20. What does friendship mean to you?
  • 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • 22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  • 23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  • 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  • 25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
  • 26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
  • 27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  • 28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  • 29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  • 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  • 31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  • 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  • 33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  • 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  • 35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  • 36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
12 & 40-T’Challa Udaku

12. “Would it be terrible of me to kiss you?”
40. “Is there a reason you’re this close to my face?”

You let out a long sigh as your eyes glossed over the crowd. Currently, you were sipping some brandy while smooth jazz played throughout the gala. Many leaders of the world were invited to attend the event. Given the fact that you were amazing at your job, the turnout was quite impressive. Your boss had even called you into their office to talk about a raise. Despite the good fortune headed your way, you were incredibly bored. Being the main contact meant you had to stay the whole time.

Seeing that everyone had arrived, you were able to catch a quick break. You sucked on your lip slightly. Huffing, you blew a strand out of your face. You brought your glass to your lips once more. Feeling a cube of ice hit your lips, you realized the amber liquid was gone. You turned back to the bartender with a smirk. He began to refill it. Your attention was drawn to a twenty dollar bill placed on the counter. You turned to see one of your more handsome guests, and that was an understatement.

“Allow me,” he  offered.
“No, that’s not necessary,” you started to say.
The man grinned, placing his palm on his chest. “Please. I insist on paying for someone as charming as yourself.”
You smiled appreciatively. “Thank you. Can I get you anything?”
He waved you off with a laugh. “No, no. I am alright. I am T’Challa.”
“Y/N,” you introduced.
“What a beautiful name. Are you enjoying yourself, Y/N?”
“I admit, I am a tad bit bored,” you told him with a smirk, “Any chance you could remedy that, T’Challa?”
The man beamed. “I have a thought.”

He held out his hand to you. You were more than happy to take hold. He pulled you from the bar and through the crowd. You smiled behind him. Before you knew it, you and T’Challa were dancing across the floor. You carried conversations while the smooth jazz floated through the air. You grin only grew wider as you talked and laughed with each other. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.

“So, Y/N,” he continued, “Are you enjoying yourself now?”
You chuckled. “It seems you’ve cured me.”
The man smiled. “I am glad. Especially since I am the one helping.”
“Me too,” you agreed happily.

Your cheeks heated when you realized how close his face had become. The smile, however, remained. T’Challa noticed and cocked his head to the side just a little. You cleared your throat a bit.

Is there a reason you’re this close to my face?” you inquired.
The man smiled sheepishly. “Would it be terrible of me to kiss you?
Your blush darkened while your smile widened. “No, it wouldn’t.”

Without needing to be told twice, T’Challa leaned until his soft lips met yours. You immediately responded, feeling a comfort in the new feeling. Hopefully, it’d become familiar soon enough.


Want to Request? : Prompt List (Closed)

anonymous asked:

captaindandelion // 😴

@captaindandelion​     Send 😴 for my muse to fall asleep on yours

The silvery timbre of Simcoe’s voice combined with the steady gate of the horse below them caused the sleep deprived brunette to unintentionally relax. Anna didn’t mind that his discourse covered killing the rebels and everything else that he would do to ensure “their” safety. It was a matter she would take issue with later, when she had the presence of mind and strength to do so. However, the brunette attempted to stay engaged in the conversation.

“Of course, Captain. I be certain Setauket is safer with you and your men around,”she murmurs softly. It was a small lie but alas, it was one she could afford to tell given her current predicament.

Begrudgingly, her weary figure comes to rest against the Captain’s sturdier one. They still had a long ways to travel before they reached their destination. Her sides were aching from the jostling of ride and being seated sideways; as was fitting and proper a lady. She dares not halt the Ranger’s progress. Prolonging the journey would only mean staying very close to the enemy for greater periods of time. Something Anna honestly wasn’t too keen on.

Long dark lashes bat slowly, stubbornly willing herself to stay awake and alert to her surroundings. For a while, Anna is successful at fighting the impending slumber by shaking her head every time she began to doze. But eventually even that seemed to cease its effectiveness. Slowly her muscles began to grow lax. Anna’s breath became slower and more shallow. The brunette’s head lulls daintily to the side, the curved slope of her cheek pressed firmly against the shoulder of his uniform jacket. She doesn’t even recall the moment that her surroundings faded into the darkness of an all encompassing rest. One moment she was slightly alert and the next she was engulfed in a welcoming slumber. 

((imagines the scene as something like- even though its not the fcs))

HAS SOCIAL CONFORMITY REORDERED YOUR LOVE LANGUAGES?

The love languages! Ahh, here they are. I know this is a concept that most of you have probably come across at one point or another (it definitely had its #trending moment a few years back) but if you don’t recall this … the basic concept is that everybody has different “love languages”, or ways that they feel most loved through. These different languages are (1) words of affirmation/encouragement/compliments (2) quality time spent together (3) giving and receiving thoughtful gifts (4) physical touch (5) acts of service. Perhaps it was the way you were raised or the way you first experienced feeling loved … but your top love languages are likely different than mine. 

Why is this relevant? Because if you are trying to make someone in your life that you care about feel loved, you have to recognize what their top love languages are. For example, let’s say that you feel most loved when you receive a thoughtful gift. Your significant other, on the other hand, mumbles a “thanks!” when he gets gifts, no matter how thoughtful, because he simply doesn’t view gifts as that big of a deal. However, he feels most loved when you give him words of affirmation such as a daily “Good morning, I love you” text. If you fail to recognize his love language, you might shower him with gifts (because that is YOUR love language and you assumed that because you feel most loved through gifts that he must also) and later feel disappointed when he doesn’t react as excitedly as you would have. It might really hurt you that he doesn’t even remember what you got him for his birthday last year. Doubts might creep into your mind that he does not love you because he never gets you well-thought out gifts. Furthermore, he constantly tells you daily stuff like “I love you” and “You’re beautiful” because words of affirmation are how he feels most loved and he assumes that must also be the way you will feel most loved. If you think compliments are kinda pointless and live by a “words speak louder than actions” mentality, you’ll brush those compliments off, you won’t feel all that loved. So now not only do you feel unloved because he doesn’t give you nice gifts, you also feel unloved because he’s always complimenting you and you feel like his words don’t line up with his actions (after all, why would he tell you he loves you everyday yet not give you a gift?) As you can see … failing to discern how others feel most loved vs. how you feel most loved can lead to relationship deterioration. Not always, but potentially. You’ll think he doesn’t love you, but what is really happening is that he is loving you based on HIS love language, and failing to recognize what is YOUR love language. 

What are your own love languages? Similarly in importance, what are the love languages of your best friends? 

Lengthy intro inside, I am up writing about love languages tonight because 1) I had coffee at 10pm for some idiotic reason and feel too jittery to sleep despite 9am class tomorrow and 2) Love has been on my mind, both the showing and the receiving aspects. Because I have been leading a small group this semester, I am constantly brainstorming ways to make my small group members feel loved. I have been showering them with DIY/personalized gifts and words of affirmation (my two love languages if that wasn’t obvious enough to you lol), which seem to really touch the hearts of a lot of them, but not really strike a chord with others. I wonder if perhaps those others would respond better to the other languages…

Which brings me to wondering, why are some of our love languages so different anyways? How do our love languages even develop? Why do I feel SO loved when people affirm/compliment/encourage me or give me super personalized gifts/gifts in general yet when people flake on me I don’t get super upset? If my love language were quality time, flaking would put me in a foul mood. But I’ve noticed that when people flake on me and need to reschedule, I’m just kinda like eh, it happens. Life is busy, I get it. Physical touch is also not that important to me. When people give me hugs I’m just like lmao this is awkward. I don’t see it as loving. Acts of service are pretty meaningful, but still don’t make me feel all mushy gushy inside like a “good morning” text or Sephora gift card would, LOL. And I know for someone whose love language is not gifts, you might be sitting there thinking, “Amy, you are so shallow! Why would you feel happier over a Sephora gift card than if someone were to drive you to the airport so you don’t need to hail an Uber?” I guess my emphasis on gifts might seem shallow to you, if you view gifts as something that can only be quantified by money. But when I get that Sephora gift card, I don’t relate the amount of $$ on that gift card to the amount of “love” I feel. I feel loved not so much by how much moolah is in the card but because my friend could have given me a million other things but knew me well enough to get me a gift card to one of my absolute favorite stores. This seemingly unimportant gift card is actually so important because it shows me that my friend pays attention to who I am and what my interests/likes/idiosyncrasies are, understands me beyond a surface level, and took time to think of me during their week. On my 21st birthday, two of my friends surprised me with the exact kind of eyeshadow palette I’ve wanted for ages. This past year, one friend filled a mason jar with little notes containing memories of us, wrapped up in adorable little scrolls. Knowing that these friends not only thought of me, but that they also KNOW me and what I care about, that they remember our SHARED HISTORY AND CONVERSATIONS - that spoke volumes through the gift. It makes me feel like the time we spent together is time so valuable to them that they remembered all the little details. Because when you don’t care about someone, you don’t remember those details and hangouts, right? I hope this might help my friends who think the love language of gift is super shallow see gifting in a new light. 

I think a lot of people view acts of service as the ultimate love language - the love language that should all be our “firsts”. Society loves to glorify acts of service as being the most important thing. How does society send this message? Colleges, grad schools, and employers care about your community service hours. The amount of service you do is tied intimately to their perception of your character. The more service you do, the more people assume you are a kind, selfless person - a person showing selfless, humble love. At the same time, society has almost seemed to demonize the love language of gifting. Think about popular phrases like “You can’t buy love!”. The idea of showing your love through giving a gift is so often seen as materialistic now. I can even see this mentality through my friends sometime. “Stop spending so much on me, are you trying to show off how much money you have and make me feel bad and obligated to give you a gift back?” is a sentiment that some of my friends have expressed to me when I give them gifts. It hurts because to me, gifting is such a genuine way I try to show them love, but they view it as me trying to “buy” their love and frown upon this. They do not view my gifts as love. They would view my acts of service for them such as driving them around as love, but they might not view getting a gift from me as love. They have different love languages, yes, and service must be one of them while gifting must be at the bottom. But I feel like society has warped us into thinking service must be there at the top and shaped their love languages to be reordered so that service is at the top. What if service isn’t even their ACTUAL top love language, but they subconsciously felt compelled to make it their top love language because society is teaching us that service is the “best” and “truest” way of showing love? Have you changed what your love languages are for the sake of social conformity?

Maybe I am just spewing bull right now because I’m trying to justify my own love languages. But if I have to really be honest with myself, I truly feel more loved by a carefully crafted gift than someone doing nice things for me like cooking me food or giving me a ride somewhere. I guess I see service as something anyone can do for anyone. To me, service is impersonal. You can give me a ride somewhere but does that say anything about how much you know and understand me? Not really. And I can be kind of a cynic sometimes (this is bad), and honestly feel like you are just doing me favors to keep up your own personal reputation as a selfless/kind person rather than doing me that favor because you actually care about and love me. This guy I almost dated drove me to D.C. once so I didn’t have to take the Greyhound. I really appreciated that act of service, but I never felt loved by him, and I think that contributed to why we ended so poorly. When things fell apart between us, I honestly was telling him that I never wanted to pursue anything further because I never actually felt loved by him. My love languages are gifts and words of affirmation; he had never gotten me a single gift and rarely said any words of affirmation (a nice comment from him about some aspect of me was few and far in between!) But maybe in his mind, he was showing me a bunch of love through that service, because his love language is service. But in my mind, I felt unloved/unappreciated. I did not want to end up dating him because of that. When we broke contact, he told me that he felt like I was a very insecure person for still feeling unloved by him when he felt like he had done so much for me. Those were hurtful words, but again they revealed a deep lack of misunderstanding. He didn’t realize that my love languages were gifting and words of affirmation … so not only did he not show them, he even insulted me with words of whatever the opposite of affirmation is, words that really cut into me and left wounds I could not recover from. His hurtful accusations may not have come across as that offensive/insulting to him, but for a girl who deeply values words of affirmation, that stuff ripped me apart. I did not get that attached to him because of how briefly and shallowly we understood each other, so it’s not like I went into some deep kind of sadness after that. But it was enough sadness to make me 100% not want to go any further with him, and it contributed to the demise of our relationship. I am sorry that he felt so annoyed at me for still not believing he cared about me when he even drove me to D.C.! It must have blown his mind and caused him to think of me as terribly insecure and terribly selfish. I really appreciated his kind act of service, but it did not translate as love in my mind. In fact, my bad, cynical side took over and whispered thoughts in my mind that told me, “He only drove you because he wants to show off how great of a person he is.” I am at fault too, because maybe service is his biggest love language, and I basically threw that act of “love” back at him and denied it. It’s like if someone threw a gift I gave them back at me and yelled, “This doesn’t mean anything! Gifts mean nothing, actions mean everything! You don’t love me!” I would feel so deeply, deeply hurt. Perhaps that is what he felt, and for that, I am sorry. 

Now that I have reflected on my own experiences, I feel encouraged to do better next time. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that someone does not love me because they are not giving me well-thought out gifts or saying nice things to me, I need to think about what this person’s love languages are. I could also explain to this person what my love languages are. Then, I could actively try to show this person more and better love through their unique languages, and vice versa. I want this person to feel as loved as possible, and if something like gifts or nice words don’t do much for them, I have to humbly change my way of expressing love to this person. I want to and I have to, because I understand firsthand the experience of when someone does not love me according to my love languages. I just straight up don’t feel that loved, even if the other person loves me. I don’t want someone who I love immensely to feel unloved even when I truly love them so much. Isn’t that such a shame?

My ex-boyfriend was also my first boyfriend and only boyfriend I have had thus far. With him, I experienced a lot of firsts. With him, standards for feeling loved were set. When we started dating, he showered me with handmade gifts and SO SO SO many words of affirmation. I woke up to an “I love you text” and went to bed to him saying “I promise we will get married” over the phone/Skype. He told me countless times how much he loves my voice, my intelligence, my appearance, my knack for writing, my heart for family, etc. He remembered ALL the little details like even when my SAT test was and would encourage me the morning of my test (he was the only one who remembered!). Because we were so young and dated in secrecy, we did not get to spend quality time together. The other love languages besides quality time are acts of service and physical touch, and those two go hand in hand with quality time, so those two didn’t happen that much either. Therefore, my first experience of romantic love with a guy set the standard for me that love is best shown through words of affirmation and gifting. It’s kinda interesting to think about it like that.

If any of my posts seems relatable/believable, I want to end this post (why am I still not sleepy? It’s 4am. Grr) with the encouragement that you take some time to reflect on what your love languages are and how they came to be. And if you do so, can you please share with me? I’m intrigued to hear your stories o.O Additionally, I encourage you to think about someone you love a ton. Got a person in mind? Good. Now think about what this person’s love languages are and what they are NOT. Both are equally important. If you have been showing them love in a form they do not react much to, maybe it is time to switch up the way you show love, even if it means you’ll have to go out of your own comfort zone of what love means to you. I think you’ll be surprised with the positive benefits that might bring to your relationship with this person :) 

(Btw, I was not endorsed by the author who came up with these love languages, though I realize now I am doing this author some real nice advertising lmao. He can thank me with some nice words or in the form of a gift ;) hahaha. Love languages - I buy it.) 

11 Questions

Tagged by @meliss-cake 

1.Would you be able to forgive an infidelity if you knew that the person loves you?

Lmao nope, I’m honestly petty and hold grudges and I’d get easily hurt by that 

2.Describe yourself in 3 adjectives

Small,Shy,Sad

3.If you wrote everything that has happened to you so far in a book, do you think people would want to read it?

Yes and No. Yes because why not read a strangers life , and it will make me feel good and No because who wanna read a strangers life anyway

4. How do people who don’t know you misjudge you?

Asian Bitch

5.What would you like to change in the way you were raised?

Nope, I like the way I am now

6.Would you sacrifice a person’s life to save a hundred?

Depends who it is

7.What is the best memory of your childhood?

I can’t remember why childhood that well but, my favorite that i can remember is when i can use the computer every single day without getting scolded or banned for months

8.Have you ever been on the verge of death?

Yes on like my 7th birthday my dad and mom hired transgender guys to perform for my birthday and there was one performance where the guy was spinning flaming coconuts on the pool and i slipped on the slide making me go the pool and almost hit my head with a flaming coconut

9.Ask for forgiveness or ask for permission?

Both

10.do you believe in karma?

Yes, Very, ABSOLUTELY 

11.hypothetical situation:
If you are in your car and it only has capacity for two people, you and someone else, and you drive through a bus stop on a torrential rainy day and there’s: Your best friend, with a disease that destroys their defenses (meaning they can not be exposed to that kind of weather), the love of your life, which you know will never see again if you lose that opportunity, and an old woman with an urgent health issue who needs to get to the hospital as quick as possible… Who would you let in the car, how would you solve the problem?

I would let the old woman and my best friend go in the car while i call an uber for my love of my life to go to the hospital with us, easy and simple ‘.’ 

MY 11 QUESTIONS ARE…

1. Who is your most hated character in a series?

2. How tall are you?

3. What is your OTP?

4.How well can you draw?

5. Who is the character do you want to see in real life?

6. If you made a movie, what would it be about?

7. Have you played “Naruto Bandai Online”?

8. What anime series would you recommend for people to watch?

9. What is your kink?

10. What are your superstitious?

11.If you were in a situation where : You had to kill your favorite characters and marry your most hated character, who would it be?

The 11 People I’m tagging are…

@bouncyirwin, @ask-lilsakura, @frostmarris, @arriku, @akemiin, @ewli-chan, @nikkigrand, @sharinghoe, @hogeky, @stonemedusa, @its-naruto-universe

36 Important Questions
  • 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  • 2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  • 3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  • 4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  • 5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  • 6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  • 7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  • 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  • 9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  • 10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  • 11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  • 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
  • 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • 14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  • 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  • 16. What do you value most in a friendship?
  • 17. What is your most treasured memory?
  • 18. What is your most terrible memory?
  • 19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  • 20. What does friendship mean to you?
  • 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • 22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  • 23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  • 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  • 25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
  • 26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ...”
  • 27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  • 28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  • 29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  • 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  • 31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  • 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  • 33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  • 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  • 35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  • 36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.