I am actually pretty loud and outgoing if i want to be and generally described as a happy person, but because of my anxiety and insecurities, i tend to be an outcast and cry a lot. plus, no one meets up to my standards, no one has ever looked past all my ugliness, inside and out, and truly understood what it’s like to be me.
I see a pattern starting to form :) You see how you’re not alone in those thoughts, right? It’s normal to worry about those things, but that doesn’t mean that those worries are true.
It kind of breaks my heart seeing you talk about yourself that way. I do understand where you’re coming from, because i used to feel that way about myself as well. I still do sometimes. And i know it’s not easy to get out of that mindset, but i need you to try and understand that if you surround yourself with your own negativity, you’re going to keep people away from seeing the real you.
If you’d open yourself up to how you really are, to the person you know you truly are underneath all those layers of insecurity and anxiety, you’ll automatically open yourself up to people around you as well, and they’ll open up to you in return.
Don’t believe me? Try it for a while, and see for yourself. But nothing will change if you just accept this mindset and make it a part of you. Because your anxiety and your insecurities are not who you are. They’re what you have created by putting yourself down. It’s all about mindset and perspective and the vibe you give off.
Again, it’s not easy. But nothing will get better if you won’t even try. Your life is yours and what you make of it. Don’t waste it by wallowing in self-hatred and negativity, it’s too short for that shit and you sure as hell don’t need any of that.