the way we were before

Secondhand smoke kills, but not as fast as firsthand hammer. 

10

Daisy Johnson in Agents of SHIELD: ‘Farewell, Cruel World!’

Mikasa meets the cruel world: Attack on Titan in a nutshell

More intelligent people than me have probably pointed this out long before me, but it still amazes me how much Mikasa’s upbringing truly is a metaphor for the entire series.

We start of with this carefree, peaceful family living in this isolated cabin in the woods, distanced from the outside. A comfortable existence, but their family is well aware that beyond their warm home lie problems: the Ackerman clan is still thought to be prosecuted, and Asians are sought by traffickers for their rare appearance and blood–they’re a different race, and this is useful to some.

And then one peace is interrupted: three men break in, destroying comfort and killing innocent people, and they’re there solemnly because of the physical aspects of the family, their rare appearance. Through this experience, Mikasa lost her hope and will to live, and also got to understand the cruel nature of the world she lived in. 

And then, a sudden event that changed the course of that day. The young Eren Jaeger barges in, takes out the oppressive intruders, and most importantly, restores hope to her. Just like the kidnappers, Eren came from outside of her world…but instead of bringing her more cruelty, Eren brought Mikasa a way to go against said cruelty–to fight back. The world is cruel and brutal and it crushes the weak–thus, the only way to survive is to fight back against the oppression–and that’s what Mikasa proceeds to do.

This precise event can be translated with total accuracy into the entirety of the story–it’s the exact same thing the walled world went through. The walldians lived in peace and comfort (more or less), isolated from the rest of the world, because the outside meant danger for them. We’ve always known this danger to be the titans–the basement taught us the reality though. The entire outside world has a pre-determined relationship with the walldians–not because of who, but because of what they are. Some see them as danger and want them extinct for safety measures, some see them as useful tools for their own purposes. 

Does this sound familiar? Ackermans are prosecuted because they’re a danger to the kings rule, and Asians are sought after because their origin makes them different. Mikasa’s family is a metaphor for all walldians, for all those wanted dead by the world or used as weapons in Marley’s titan army. Their situation is identical too: they live excluded from the outside world, in a pseudo-peace, which is one day interrupted by the arrival of three outsiders (kidnappers, RBA). Through their actions, those outsiders remind the inhabitants of the cruel, oppressive world they find themselves in (a grim reminder). And then, another outsider appears, restoring hope and teaching the oppressed how to free themselves: to fight. This is Eren when he barges into the cabin, and Grisha, originally from beyond the walls. when he entrusts the founding and attack titans to Eren, who would later become humanities hope and, in some way, inspires them to fight back. Both of these stories are perfect parallels.

It’s also definitely not a coincidence that the Eren-saves-Mikasa flashback was included in Isayama’s first draft of chapter 1, in flashback format. All the dialogue about Mikasa being part of a nearly extinct, different race, and Eren telling her to fight back, were there from day one. In the present time she even says that she believes Eren has the strength to overcome the world’s issues and bring hope to mankind–an even stronger parallel between her situation and all of walldia. 

Heck, it certainly isn’t a coincidence either that, during ch 14, primordial desire, aka humanities first ever victory against oppression and the first climax of the story, Eren flashes back to that very moment

On one hand it sets up other humans, aka Marley as antagonists, who’re oppressing Paradis due to the blood flowing through its inhabitants. At the same time, it redraws all the parallels mentioned beforehand by straight up comparing humanities struggle to that struggle in the woods. 

These two panels really affirm everything I mentioned above–Mikasa’s “origin story” is it’s own microcosm that foretells the entire core struggle of the series: Eldians seeking freedom from oppression. And the fact that such an early scene remains a total metaphor to the story even 90 chapters and a ton of plot twists and revelations later, just goes to show how much of a thought out story attack on titan has been for the longest time. 

Enemies to Lovers meme

WARNING: Some phrases are toxic and can be taken as possessive behavior!

  • “This changes nothing… I’m still me, even if I’m with you.”
  • “That kiss… did you really mean it?”
  • “No one has to know about us, I know this could ruin you.”
  • “Yes, I love you, but I can’t ignore everything you did in the past.”
  • “Listen. We have to move on. Past is past, what we have now is everything.”
  • “Are you messing with me, because if you didn’t mean what you said, I will kill you.”
  • “Was that ‘just a fuck?’ I don’t think so.”
  • “You don’t have to say you love me. No one means it anyway.”
  • “Just let me love you, and you can pretend to love me. I don’t mind.”
  • “Don’t leave me now, I can’t bare it. We can go back to hating each other if it makes it easier, just don’t leave me.”
  • “I don’t expect you to change. I don’t want you to.”
  • “People will talk. Let them. Their opinions mean nothing to me.”
  • “It’s us against the world now, isn’t it?”
  • “Every time you kiss someone else, you’ll be thinking of me, I know it.”
  • “If fighting tells a person’s true nature, than no one knows you better than me.”
  • “If anyone lays a hand on you, I’ll break their every finger.”
  • “Nothing like years of unbridled hatred to make for the best sex you ever had.”
  • “I’ve wanted you for so long, I could never say before.”
  • “I can’t go back to the way things were before, being with you changed everything.”
  • “We can pretend that nothing happened last night,  but it did. And now we have a choice to make.”
  • “You know every time you made me angry, I fantasized about you… “
  • “I don’t regret one single moment, not one. It led me to you.”
  • “I guess this means we belong to each other now, hm?”
  • “If anyone tries to talk me out of this, I won’t hear them. I promise.”
  • “Are you sure you want this? There’s no going back now.”
  • “If you break my heart, I will deny everything and erase you.”
  • “This may be the worst decision I ever made, I don’t know. But we have to see if we can work.”
instagram

jamesgunn #GotGPicoftheDay@zoesaldana & @pomin8r between set-ups. It’s great to have actors playing new characters (like Mantis and Ego) come into the fold and fit in instantly - in some ways it felt like we were missing something before they arrived. #gotgvol2 #behindthescenes #marvel#pomantis #Gamora #mantis

( requested by: anonymous )


COMPLICATED

  • “ that’s the way it is ”
  • “ chill out ”
  • “ what are you yellin’ for? ”
  • “ you’ve become somebody else around everyone else ”
  • “ you look like a fool to me ”
  • “ why do you have to go and make things so complicated? ”
  • “ you’re not fooling anyone ”
  • “ it’s all been done before ”

SK8ER BOI

  • “ can i make it anymore obvious? ”
  • “ what more can i say? ”
  • “ secretly she wanted him as well ”
  • “ he wasn’t good enough for her ”
  • “ she had a pretty face but her head was up in space ”
  • “ she’s all alone ”
  • “ you missed out ”
  • “ we are more than just good friends ”
  • “ there is more than meets the eye ”

I’M WITH YOU

  • “ i thought that you’d be here by now ”
  • “ isn’t anyone trying to find me? ”
  • “ it’s a damn cold night ”
  • “ take me somewhere new”
  • “ i’m with you ”
  • “ everything’s a mess”
  • “ no one likes to be alone ”
  • “ maybe i’m just out of my mind ”

 MY HAPPY ENDING

  • “ so much for my happy ending ”
  • “ let’s talk this over ”
  • “ it’s not like we’re dead ”
  • “ was it something i did? ”
  • “ you were everything that i wanted ”
  • “ all this time you were pretending ”
  • “ do they even know you? ”

WHEN YOU’RE GONE

  • “ i always need time on my own ”
  • “ the days feel like years when i’m alone ”
  • “ i miss you ”
  • “ i’ve never felt this way before ”
  • “ we were made for each other ”
  • “ i need to feel you here with me ”

WHAT THE HELL

  • “ you say that i’m messing with your head ”
  • “ love hurts, whether it’s right or wrong ”
  • “ honestly, i just need to be a little crazy ”
  • “ what the hell ”
  • “ all i want is to mess around ”
  • “ i don’t really care about if you love me ”
  • “ you can’t save me ”
  • “ you never call or listen to me anyways ”

DON’T TELL ME

  • “ why did you have to go? ”
  • “ guys are so hard to trust ”
  • “ don’t try to tell me what to do ”
  • “ you’re better off that way ”
  • “ i’m gonna ask you to stop ”
  • “ i’ve done no wrong ”
  • “ i’m better off alone anyway ”

GIRLFRIEND

  • “ i don’t like your girlfriend ”
  • “ i think you need a new one ”
  • “ i know that you like me ”
  • “ you know it’s not a secret ”
  • “ I think about you all the time ”
  • “ you could do so much better ”
  • “ that’s what everyone’s talking about ”
  • “ i can see the way you look at me ”
  • “ i don’t want to hear you say her name ever again ”
  • “ what the hell were you thinking? ”

WISH YOU WERE HERE

  • “ i can be strong ”
  • “ it’s not like that at all ”
  • “ i wish you were here ”
  • “ you were always there ”
  • “ i love the way you are ”
  • “ i don’t wanna let go ”

THE BEST DAMN THING

  • “ you’re not gonna get any better ”
  • “ you won’t get rid of me ”
  • “ we’re not the same ”
  • “ are you going to treat me right? ”
  • “ i can put up a fight ”
  • “ be very very good to me ”
The Virus (Extended)

I wrote this again because I believed I could expand the story and see how it go.

***Logs of the late Admiral Elfre”

Personal log 1. I got accepted into the coalition military only as a simple deck serf my main duties are cleaning the vents of vermin that somehow make it onto the ships and breed. I also run messages, it’s good exercise but most of the officers don’t even look at me, I’ll show them I’ll make admiral in not time.

Personal Log 6. After helping engineer Lopya with the engine after being stuck in dead space for nearly a week I was promoted to bridge officer, I mainly work the coms console but it is a step in the right direction, i cant wait. 

Personal Log 8. One of our explorer ships has found a new planet, this one is apparently unique and has all our scientists really excited. Not sure how it is unique because I always thought every world in the galaxy was unique but apparently this is one is special. My colleagues are talking about nothing else I might actually keep an eye on the com traffic to see what the fuss is about.

Personal Log 9. Well I read some of the com messages ( I know I’m not supposed to but curiosity got the better of me) and this new world everyone is going crazy over is apparently the only world which can truly be classified as a “Dead World”  But life is not only surviving apparently its thriving. They think their might be intelligent life there, even if the air is toxic and the plant life poisonous and Maker only knows what the animal life is like. I shudder to think of what could survive there.

Personal log 13. The explorer team has gone missing, they were researching a new animal that lived in huge hives and it is believed the creatures may have discovered them. Not sure how I thought they were using this new cloaking technology that makes them invisible? Could these creatures see through it?

Personal Log 14. Workload today was insane, more com traffic than ever, our fleet is being redirected. But on the bright side if I make a good impression the captain might put me on course for deck officer level 2? I can only hope.

Personal Log 16. I’m not sure if this is good or not but our fleet has been chosen to search for that research team that went missing, why we should when we are an explorer fleet not a military fleet. I mean, we only have  handful of actual soldiers on each ship, but then orders are orders.

Personal Log 17. I think I may have made a mistake, the captain wanted a coms officer to go and record to rescue and like an idiot I said I’d do it before I truly thought about it. I’m going to a “Dead world” to find people. I want to live long enough to have wife’s and spawns I don’t want to to go somewhere where i might die. Well I can’t back out now, at least Major Jesa gave me a handgun to use in  case.

Personal Log 18. We landed on the planet at the researchers last known location, we found their base, it was hidden inside one of the hills over looking a herd of fluffy animals that made off “Bahhhh” sounds as they saw us. They were not hostile luckily, we assumed they were prey animals, wee went off to complete our mission. We found one of the trackers the researchers use sot hey don’t get lost, it was badly broken so the log could not be accessed, we bagged it kept on.

Personal Log 19 The nights here are cold, really cold. We set up air tight tents so we did not have to sleep in our suits and even with the heaters we were all shivering. Private Getr joked this was worse than the time he fought against some snow like monsters on a world going through an ice age. i could tell he was not joking, i hate this place.

Personal Log 20. Private Getr’s suit was split yesterday, some plant that has spikes cut his suit and he died in moments, he never had a chance to even seal the split. A pair of his comrades volunteer to take him back to the shuttle and off they go, we are three men down. 

Personal Log 21. The rain, so much rain, I mean it’s not unusual for water to fall from the sky but this is just crazy, we all agree not to out today.

Personal Log 22. We saw the natives, or at least what we think are the most dominant natives here. There were three of them, small and running around in one of the fields playing I think, is that playing or were they fighting for dominance? they were quite small and talked to each other in odd clicking noises. Then the older appeared, far larger than their young, they appeared out of the trees not far from us, then one of them started sniffing the air, no way could they smell us could they? We quickly left before we were discovered. But not before we saw the Hive, it was larger than any city I have seen, how many of these creatures were there.

Personal Log 23. Finally some other sign of the research team, an tent, only one but it’s a sign. We call inside but there is no answer, we slowly make our way inside and find what we feared we would.  A body, His skin was the same as privates Getr’s when his suit split, he was holding a note though all it said was. “Run!”

Personal Log 27. Well I’m glad that’s over with and i can get back to my life, that world is now off limits to everyone now and is under strict quarantine level 10. The first planet to get that level. They even named it Kila, apparently it means death in one of languages spoken in the coalition.   

Personal Log 30. Since my mission to Kila I have gain more responsibility and just yesterday they are giving me my own ship!! It’s only a snall support ship with a few hundred crew but I’m excited. Captain Elfre, i like the sound of that.

Captains Log 36. I’M BORED!!!! This support ship gets almost no mission, all we do is patrol and help the larger ships move into formation, I want a bigger ship!!!! Or at least something to break the boredom.

Captains Log 38. A whole quarantine fleet went missing a couple of days ago, I instantly knew which one before i even heard the planets name, it was Kila. By the Maker have they made it off the that planet? More fleet are being directed and we are on standby if we are needed. I have a feeling we will be.

Captains Log 40. We are needed, the fleet is heading to the quarantine Kila zone.

Captains Log 41. The quarantine is breached the creatures have built ships and a lot of them, these hive ships were scanned and found our own technology on board. They are using our warp drives, did they figure out of they were built? How? Are these things sentient? We take up position to bar their path and we simply stare at each other, we send message after message to try and open a dialog but there is no response. Then over all our coms, a noise like screaming, is that Getr? Are they in my head? Only one word is truly heard. Hooman, our enemy has a name.  The Admiral orders us to open fire and we unleash our weapons upon them, huge pulse cannons and missiles with enough yield to scorch a planet. Nearly all miss. How could they miss and those that hit seemed to only cause minimal damage. Wait are..their ships healing themselves? We scramble to reload and open fire again but the Hoomans fore first, we don’t recognize what kind of weapons they are using but they cut right through our armor, the flagship goes down having been hit by three separate enemy ships. The other captains are screaming orders or trying to regain some kind of control, I shout over the coms that I cam taking command and order the retreat. The war against the Hoomans, has begun.

Captains Log 50. The Hoomans are spreading and spreading fast, every engagement is the same, they break into real space, our coms go haywire and our fleet gets wiped out. We need a different strategy.

Captains Log 54. I have been given command of a new battleship, it is to be the new flagship of a invasion force into Hooman space. Our scientist have theorized that the Hoomans work on a hive mind command structure and if we wipe out the their main hive world Kila the rest will fall into chaos. I don’t know how they can know that as to my mind no Hooman has been captured alive or dead. But I am eager to go on the offensive for once.

Captains Log 55. Our first victory!!! We engaged the Hoomans on the edge of their space and wiped them out, we left the planet as we needed to save our resources for the homeworld but it felt good to drop a few nukes down there. We can do this, we can win!!

Captains Log 57. The Hoomans never seem to run out of ships, we have assembled the largest fleet in the galaxy and that has got their attention, their advance into our space has halted. I have their complete attention, and that terrifies me.

Captains Log 58. We lost half our ships in the last battle and the flagship is heavily damaged we have taken refuge in an asteroid belt to make repairs but the Hoomans are looking for us. They always know where to find us, they always know.

Captains Log 60. I can only engage the Homans one more time before I have to retreat and i am nowhere near their homeworld of Kila, they always seem to have more ships. The last engagement were boarded by them, I have seen every kind of species in the galaxy and we are all different, some are fast, some are strong, some are smart and so on. But never have I seen a race like them. They only have two arms and two legs which is the lowest number of any rce and it seems to work to their advantage. I saw on the security cameras our soldiers fight them in hand to hand and the Hoomans just danced around them. They moved like water and hit like avalanches, our new directive was never to engage them in close combat, you’d never win. Not that shooting them seems to work either, my bridge was breached by them and i shot one in the head with my pistol and it barley flinched, if it wasn’t for a guard with a blaster i would have been dead. Sadly that moment of saving my life cost him his own, he was hit my one of their weapons and his whole body evaporated. Not sure what is a worse way to die, being touched by one of these things or shot. This invasion is over, I’m ordering the retreat.

Captains Log 62. 2 months, that was all the time I bought while invading their space and once more they are on the offensive, consuming world after world and terraforming it so only they can live there. Trillions are now dead and how much further will they spread before they burn themselves out.

Captains Log 65. Our leaders are panicking, the surviving races are merging all their resources in some attempt to turn this tide. Our pleas of surrender and mercy go unanswered except for the usual response of the com screaming. But on some lighter note I go promoted to Admiral, my life long goal was achieved only because my predecessor shot himself when his homeworld was consumed by the Hoomans, his mate and youngling did not make it of world in time. They now expect me to win this war for them, I don’t know if I can but I am going to try.

Admirals Log 1, My first engagement as an Admiral with the race known as Hooman has ended in our utter defeat, we exited hyperspace right on top of them and they reacted as if they knew we were coming. Are these creatures just super fast or can they see the future? We retreated to Elixal Prime but my few remaining ships will not be enough to hold them off for long. I have already began evacuation but there are not enough ships, they will be here soon,

Admirals Log 5, Elixal Prime is lost, the moment the first of their hive ships arrived we had to abandon any hope of rescuing the population. I can only imagine what horrors they will face. We heard their screams over the com as we left.

Admirals Log 13. I have implemented a scorched earth policy, any world we cannot protect or have to retreat from is scorched to make sure they can’t use it. It will slow them at least.

Admirals Log.16 It did not stop or slow them, in fact it made terraforming the planet for themselves easier so we have abandoned that tactic.

Admirals Log 22. They are spreading faster now, faster than we can track them its like a damn has broken and their entire race is now searching for new worlds to consume. Do they eat their worlds? Is that why they are expanding? for food?

Admirals log 29 the Hoomans have conquered half the galaxy and there are too few of the surviving races with the ships to even try and stop them. Some are talking about surrender. How could we? These creatures are so deadly that even one setting foot on a planet spells disaster as if their whole body was made to house millions of viruses. My old friend was touched by one once, I’ll never forget what happened to him. His skin burned and fell off he bled form every part of his body, his screams, they still haunt me.

Admirals Log 40. Me and the other admirals have agreed that this war cannot be won, we have but one hope, all the survivors of the coalition have gathered in one system. There are only 50 billion left out of a population of thousands of trillions. But our scientists have built a war winning weapon, a huge beam cannon that can destroy fleets. It is very experimental as if uses the power oft he sun to fire. The plan is to use it to defend against the Hoomans in this system indefinitely, let them have the galaxy surely they will let us have one small system?

Admirals Log 50. I was wrong about the Hoomans letting us live here, because here they are, but there is only one hive ship just sitting there watching us. My ship is placed directly opposite it, Im sure i can take on one ship but I know, that silently out there, his friends are watching. Once more our coms go nuts, i turn it off, i have had enough of listening to the sounds of my comrades die over and over again. I open fire and before the munitions hit the Hooman hive ship turns and enters hyperspace. He’ll be back.

Admirals Log 60. The Hoomans are back and it seems they have brought their entire fleet with them, My fleet has over 5000 ships of varying classes and the new solar cannon we built. Just a little closer, i oder the cannon to fire and millions of miles behind my fleet the solar cannon unleashes the power of the sun at the Hoomans. Then…wait? No this is not possible the Hooman fleet is moving and a new kind of ship is taking the lead…it’s huge almost the size of a moon and it is moving to intercept the beam. The solar cannons beam hits the new hive ship but…it does not do what they said it would. It is supposed to destroy the ship then the beam jumps tot the nearest ship and destroys that one and so on. But the ship is…is…absorbing it? the light is dancing around the hive ship and then suddenly fires from the tip, oh no it’s heading for one of the planets! It hit the planet the solar cannon was orbiting and it erupts and breaks apart. 20 billion souls all gone in an instant. Screaming I order to open fire, all 5000 ships unleash our firepower at the Hoomans, with so many ships and so many targets it’s hard to miss. The battle last only an hour. 

Admiral’s log , We’ve lost, our final stand began an hour ago, 3 thousand ships gone, in an hour!!! How could such a race even exist? I sit here reading reports of what their world is like, no wonder they turned out like they did out of all the worlds in the galaxy this one has to be the most hostile one. I’m not going down without a fight though.

Admiral Efre grabbed his rifle and locked his log in the hopes that it might be found by someone who could read it and remember the struggle the galaxy went through. Perhaps in a couple of millennia when the Hoomans have died out. The Hoomans were cutting through the door now, his soldiers all got to their feet and readied their rifles. The pride he felt for them, even in their final moments they were defiant, even though there was nothing and no one left to save.

The door blasts open and we open fire, like before the Hoomans shrug off our shots like they were pebbles, a few go down but it doesnt stop the others. The run into us and…and? They’re not killing us By the Maker they want us alive! Are they going to eat us? One grabs me with its gloved hand and forces me to my knees alongside my soldiers and another enters like the others of it’s kind inside a sealed suit. It lowers itself to look me in the eye and raising a visor to show it’s face.

They’re disgusting, their faces…the proportions are all wrong and only two eyes? How could they see so well with only two eyes? The nose is pitiful in size I can only imagine how strong it was. And the skin, it looks wet like oil, is it acid?

Finally it speaks and the words put the chill of death into me.

“We were only trying to say hello”

The Virus (Extended)

***Logs of the late Admiral Elfre”


Personal log 1. I got accepted into the coalition military only as a simple deck serf my main duties are cleaning the vents of vermin that somehow make it onto the ships and breed. I also run messages, it’s good exercise but most of the officers don’t even look at me, I’ll show them I’ll make admiral in not time.


Personal Log 6. After helping engineer Lopya with the engine after being stuck in dead space for nearly a week I was promoted to bridge officer, I mainly work the coms console but it is a step in the right direction, i cant wait. 


Personal Log 8. One of our explorer ships has found a new planet, this one is apparently unique and has all our scientists really excited. Not sure how it is unique because I always thought every world in the galaxy was unique but apparently this is one is special. My colleagues are talking about nothing else I might actually keep an eye on the com traffic to see what the fuss is about.

Personal Log 9. Well I read some of the com messages ( I know I’m not supposed to but curiosity got the better of me) and this new world everyone is going crazy over is apparently the only world which can truly be classified as a “Dead World”  But life is not only surviving apparently its thriving. They think their might be intelligent life there, even if the air is toxic and the plant life poisonous and Maker only knows what the animal life is like. I shudder to think of what could survive there.

Personal log 13. The explorer team has gone missing, they were researching a new animal that lived in huge hives and it is believed the creatures may have discovered them. Not sure how I thought they were using this new cloaking technology that makes them invisible? Could these creatures see through it?

Personal Log 14. Workload today was insane, more com traffic than ever, our fleet is being redirected. But on the bright side if I make a good impression the captain might put me on course for deck officer level 2? I can only hope.

Personal Log 16. I’m not sure if this is good or not but our fleet has been chosen to search for that research team that went missing, why we should when we are an explorer fleet not a military fleet. I mean, we only have  handful of actual soldiers on each ship, but then orders are orders.

Personal Log 17. I think I may have made a mistake, the captain wanted a coms officer to go and record to rescue and like an idiot I said I’d do it before I truly thought about it. I’m going to a “Dead world” to find people. I want to live long enough to have wife’s and spawns I don’t want to to go somewhere where i might die. Well I can’t back out now, at least Major Jesa gave me a handgun to use in  case.

Personal Log 18. We landed on the planet at the researchers last known location, we found their base, it was hidden inside one of the hills over looking a herd of fluffy animals that made off “Bahhhh” sounds as they saw us. They were not hostile luckily, we assumed they were prey animals, wee went off to complete our mission. We found one of the trackers the researchers use sot hey don’t get lost, it was badly broken so the log could not be accessed, we bagged it kept on.

Personal Log 19 The nights here are cold, really cold. We set up air tight tents so we did not have to sleep in our suits and even with the heaters we were all shivering. Private Getr joked this was worse than the time he fought against some snow like monsters on a world going through an ice age. i could tell he was not joking, i hate this place.

Personal Log 20. Private Getr’s suit was split yesterday, some plant that has spikes cut his suit and he died in moments, he never had a chance to even seal the split. A pair of his comrades volunteer to take him back to the shuttle and off they go, we are three men down. 

Personal Log 21. The rain, so much rain, I mean it’s not unusual for water to fall from the sky but this is just crazy, we all agree not to out today.

Personal Log 22. We saw the natives, or at least what we think are the most dominant natives here. There were three of them, small and running around in one of the fields playing I think, is that playing or were they fighting for dominance? they were quite small and talked to each other in odd clicking noises. Then the older appeared, far larger than their young, they appeared out of the trees not far from us, then one of them started sniffing the air, no way could they smell us could they? We quickly left before we were discovered. But not before we saw the Hive, it was larger than any city I have seen, how many of these creatures were there.

Personal Log 23. Finally some other sign of the research team, an tent, only one but it’s a sign. We call inside but there is no answer, we slowly make our way inside and find what we feared we would.  A body, His skin was the same as privates Getr’s when his suit split, he was holding a note though all it said was. “Run!”

Personal Log 27. Well I’m glad that’s over with and i can get back to my life, that world is now off limits to everyone now and is under strict quarantine level 10. The first planet to get that level. They even named it Kila, apparently it means death in one of languages spoken in the coalition.   

Personal Log 30. Since my mission to Kila I have gain more responsibility and just yesterday they are giving me my own ship!! It’s only a snall support ship with a few hundred crew but I’m excited. Captain Elfre, i like the sound of that.

Captains Log 36. I’M BORED!!!! This support ship gets almost no mission, all we do is patrol and help the larger ships move into formation, I want a bigger ship!!!! Or at least something to break the boredom.

Captains Log 38. A whole quarantine fleet went missing a couple of days ago, I instantly knew which one before i even heard the planets name, it was Kila. By the Maker have they made it off the that planet? More fleet are being directed and we are on standby if we are needed. I have a feeling we will be.

Captains Log 40. We are needed, the fleet is heading to the quarantine Kila zone.

Captains Log 41. The quarantine is breached the creatures have built ships and a lot of them, these hive ships were scanned and found our own technology on board. They are using our warp drives, did they figure out of they were built? How? Are these things sentient? We take up position to bar their path and we simply stare at each other, we send message after message to try and open a dialog but there is no response. Then over all our coms, a noise like screaming, is that Getr? Are they in my head? Only one word is truly heard. Hooman, our enemy has a name.  The Admiral orders us to open fire and we unleash our weapons upon them, huge pulse cannons and missiles with enough yield to scorch a planet. Nearly all miss. How could they miss and those that hit seemed to only cause minimal damage. Wait are..their ships healing themselves? We scramble to reload and open fire again but the Hoomans fore first, we don’t recognize what kind of weapons they are using but they cut right through our armor, the flagship goes down having been hit by three separate enemy ships. The other captains are screaming orders or trying to regain some kind of control, I shout over the coms that I cam taking command and order the retreat. The war against the Hoomans, has begun.


Captains Log 50. The Hoomans are spreading and spreading fast, every engagement is the same, they break into real space, our coms go haywire and our fleet gets wiped out. We need a different strategy.

Captains Log 54. I have been given command of a new battleship, it is to be the new flagship of a invasion force into Hooman space. Our scientist have theorized that the Hoomans work on a hive mind command structure and if we wipe out the their main hive world Kila the rest will fall into chaos. I don’t know how they can know that as to my mind no Hooman has been captured alive or dead. But I am eager to go on the offensive for once.

Captains Log 55. Our first victory!!! We engaged the Hoomans on the edge of their space and wiped them out, we left the planet as we needed to save our resources for the homeworld but it felt good to drop a few nukes down there. We can do this, we can win!!

Captains Log 57. The Hoomans never seem to run out of ships, we have assembled the largest fleet in the galaxy and that has got their attention, their advance into our space has halted. I have their complete attention, and that terrifies me.

Captains Log 58. We lost half our ships in the last battle and the flagship is heavily damaged we have taken refuge in an asteroid belt to make repairs but the Hoomans are looking for us. They always know where to find us, they always know.

Captains Log 60. I can only engage the Homans one more time before I have to retreat and i am nowhere near their homeworld of Kila, they always seem to have more ships. The last engagement were boarded by them, I have seen every kind of species in the galaxy and we are all different, some are fast, some are strong, some are smart and so on. But never have I seen a race like them. They only have two arms and two legs which is the lowest number of any rce and it seems to work to their advantage. I saw on the security cameras our soldiers fight them in hand to hand and the Hoomans just danced around them. They moved like water and hit like avalanches, our new directive was never to engage them in close combat, you’d never win. Not that shooting them seems to work either, my bridge was breached by them and i shot one in the head with my pistol and it barley flinched, if it wasn’t for a guard with a blaster i would have been dead. Sadly that moment of saving my life cost him his own, he was hit my one of their weapons and his whole body evaporated. Not sure what is a worse way to die, being touched by one of these things or shot. This invasion is over, I’m ordering the retreat.

Captains Log 62. 2 months, that was all the time I bought while invading their space and once more they are on the offensive, consuming world after world and terraforming it so only they can live there. Trillions are now dead and how much further will they spread before they burn themselves out.

Captains Log 65. Our leaders are panicking, the surviving races are merging all their resources in some attempt to turn this tide. Our pleas of surrender and mercy go unanswered except for the usual response of the com screaming. But on some lighter note I go promoted to Admiral, my life long goal was achieved only because my predecessor shot himself when his homeworld was consumed by the Hoomans, his mate and youngling did not make it of world in time. They now expect me to win this war for them, I don’t know if I can but I am going to try.



Admirals Log 1, My first engagement as an Admiral with the race known as Hooman has ended in our utter defeat, we exited hyperspace right on top of them and they reacted as if they knew we were coming. Are these creatures just super fast or can they see the future? We retreated to Elixal Prime but my few remaining ships will not be enough to hold them off for long. I have already began evacuation but there are not enough ships, they will be here soon,

Admirals Log 5, Elixal Prime is lost, the moment the first of their hive ships arrived we had to abandon any hope of rescuing the population. I can only imagine what horrors they will face. We heard their screams over the com as we left.

Admirals Log 13. I have implemented a scorched earth policy, any world we cannot protect or have to retreat from is scorched to make sure they can’t use it. It will slow them at least.

Admirals Log.16 It did not stop or slow them, in fact it made terraforming the planet for themselves easier so we have abandoned that tactic.

Admirals Log 22. They are spreading faster now, faster than we can track them its like a damn has broken and their entire race is now searching for new worlds to consume. Do they eat their worlds? Is that why they are expanding? for food?

Admirals log 29 the Hoomans have conquered half the galaxy and there are too few of the surviving races with the ships to even try and stop them. Some are talking about surrender. How could we? These creatures are so deadly that even one setting foot on a planet spells disaster as if their whole body was made to house millions of viruses. My old friend was touched by one once, I’ll never forget what happened to him. His skin burned and fell off he bled form every part of his body, his screams, they still haunt me.

Admirals Log 40. Me and the other admirals have agreed that this war cannot be won, we have but one hope, all the survivors of the coalition have gathered in one system. There are only 50 billion left out of a population of thousands of trillions. But our scientists have built a war winning weapon, a huge beam cannon that can destroy fleets. It is very experimental as if uses the power oft he sun to fire. The plan is to use it to defend against the Hoomans in this system indefinitely, let them have the galaxy surely they will let us have one small system?

Admirals Log 50. I was wrong about the Hoomans letting us live here, because here they are, but there is only one hive ship just sitting there watching us. My ship is placed directly opposite it, Im sure i can take on one ship but I know, that silently out there, his friends are watching. Once more our coms go nuts, i turn it off, i have had enough of listening to the sounds of my comrades die over and over again. I open fire and before the munitions hit the Hooman hive ship turns and enters hyperspace. He’ll be back.

Admirals Log 60. The Hoomans are back and it seems they have brought their entire fleet with them, My fleet has over 5000 ships of varying classes and the new solar cannon we built. Just a little closer, i oder the cannon to fire and millions of miles behind my fleet the solar cannon unleashes the power of the sun at the Hoomans. Then…wait? No this is not possible the Hooman fleet is moving and a new kind of ship is taking the lead…it’s huge almost the size of a moon and it is moving to intercept the beam. The solar cannons beam hits the new hive ship but…it does not do what they said it would. It is supposed to destroy the ship then the beam jumps tot the nearest ship and destroys that one and so on. But the ship is…is…absorbing it? the light is dancing around the hive ship and then suddenly fires from the tip, oh no it’s heading for one of the planets! It hit the planet the solar cannon was orbiting and it erupts and breaks apart. 20 billion souls all gone in an instant. Screaming I order to open fire, all 5000 ships unleash our firepower at the Hoomans, with so many ships and so many targets it’s hard to miss. The battle last only an hour. 

Admiral’s log , We’ve lost, our final stand began an hour ago, 3 thousand ships gone, in an hour!!! How could such a race even exist? I sit here reading reports of what their world is like, no wonder they turned out like they did out of all the worlds in the galaxy this one has to be the most hostile one. I’m not going down without a fight though.

Admiral Efre grabbed his rifle and locked his log in the hopes that it might be found by someone who could read it and remember the struggle the galaxy went through. Perhaps in a couple of millennia when the Hoomans have died out. The Hoomans were cutting through the door now, his soldiers all got to their feet and readied their rifles. The pride he felt for them, even in their final moments they were defiant, even though there was nothing and no one left to save.

The door blasts open and we open fire, like before the Hoomans shrug off our shots like they were pebbles, a few go down but it doesnt stop the others. The run into us and…and? They’re not killing us By the Maker they want us alive! Are they going to eat us? One grabs me with its gloved hand and forces me to my knees alongside my soldiers and another enters like the others of it’s kind inside a sealed suit. It lowers itself to look me in the eye and raising a visor to show it’s face.

They’re disgusting, their faces…the proportions are all wrong and only two eyes? How could they see so well with only two eyes? The nose is pitiful in size I can only imagine how strong it was. And the skin, it looks wet like oil, is it acid?

Finally it speaks and the words put the chill of death into me.

“We were only trying to say hello”

Touch-Starved IV

Here it is, the last part. Hope it’s satisfying ending. @fallingineternity

Part I Part II Part III

Anxiety paced.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

He raked his fingers through his hair in agitation. He had to figure out what he was going to do and fast. The others would wake up soon. Anxiety had spent the entire night trying figure things out.

Part of him, a large part of him, just wanted to take it all at face value, let the others in the way they seemed to want him to. But as he had tossed and turned in the early hours of the morning, doubts had begun to creep into his mind, showing every way this could go wrong. There was a reason he hadn’t slept.

But despite his endlessly whirling thoughts, he had made it to sunrise without being one iota closer to actually making a decision. And once Morality called him down for breakfast, he’d have to.

Would he refuse to leave the room? Or would he go down? If he went down, what would he do? Would he ignore them? Would he let them in? He didn’t know!

Anxiety let out a muffled scream, his hands covering his mouth. He wished none of this had ever happened, then nothing would have changed. The others would have their own lives being their blissful happy selves, and he would be… alone. Like it should be.

He sunk to the ground, his arms wrapping around his knees. It hadn’t been that bad being alone. In fact, many times he preferred it. The others could be too loud and overwhelming at times. And he’d gotten good at keeping his own company. With the internet, it wasn’t like he ever ran out of things to do.

Sure, sometimes he had wished things could be a bit different, that his relationship with the others wasn’t so … strained. Usually when he caught glimpses of movie marathons he hadn’t been invited to, or heard the easy conversations over meals, the kind of conversations he’d never been able to manage.

And now they were caught at a crossroads between his sometimes wishes and reality. The others still didn’t like him, not really, but they were trying to connect with him, to open up. And the worst part was that he still didn’t understand why.

At first he’d thought it was pity, because that made sense. Oh, we learned something sad about poor little Anxiety, let’s all be nice to him, so we stop feeling guilty. And you know what, Anxiety could have handled that. Sure it would have hurt once things went back to normal, but he would have moved on eventually, and he would have learned from it.

But this wasn’t pity, he wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it wasn’t just simple pity. Because Patton had cried over him, and had said all those things when he didn’t even know Anxiety was listening. Because he had never heard Roman talk to him while sounding that serious and earnest. Because Logan didn’t even really do emotions that much, so Anxiety wasn’t sure how he’d thought the other side would be motivated by pity in the first place!

And so it wasn’t- and he couldn’t- and they weren’t- and he just- and everything was-

He just wished he knew what they wanted.

Anxiety was still on the floor when he heard Morality calling everyone for breakfast. There was no more time to think.

He didn’t move though, just stared at the door. Did he even want to go down? No, not really.

But you do want answers, a voice murmured inside his mind, and you won’t get them by staying in here.

Anxiety hated that it was right.

He pulled himself up, taking a glance in the mirror to see how he looked. He winced, he looked like death warmed over. He grabbed his eyeshadow, smearing it on. It didn’t really help, but at least he could claim his zombie-like appearance was from the makeup.


Anxiety picked at his food. He’d tried to eat, but it turned out that the child of stress and sleep-deprivation was nausea. Eventually he gave up and carried his plate to the sink, scraping the food into the trash. When he came back to the dining room, Logic was there.

“Anxiety,” he said. “Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Anxiety snapped back sarcastically.

“Well,” Logic said, one had going up to adjust his glasses. “You barely ate anything, your skin tone is even paler than normal, you seemed unfocused and disengaged the entire meal, your walk is currently awkward and halting, you-

“Alright, you can stop. I get it,” Anxiety cut him off.

Logic peered at him, concern peeking though.

“If you don’t wish to discuss the source of your ailment,” he said, one hand reaching out to rest on Anxiety’s shoulder, “We don’t have to. Perhaps I could help in some other way. I’ve been experimenting with teas recently. Some of them are very soothing.”

“You know you don’t have to this, right?” Anxiety blurted out, shrugging off Logic’s hand, finally fed up with everything. He was going to get some freaking answers.

Logic’s brow crinkled.

“Do what?” he said puzzled. “Offer to help? Provide tea? I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”

“I’m talking about this whole caring bullshit,” Anxiety snarled. “And all the stupid touching. You know you don’t have to do it?”

“You’re saying we don’t have to care about you?” said a horrified voice behind Logic. It was Morality.

“Well, you don’t” Anxiety said.

“But of course we care” Morality said, now moving into Anxiety’s line of vision, looking distressed. Anxiety winced a bit internally. If there was one thing he regretted most about this whole situation, it was making Morality upset.

“I don’t see why,” he muttered, looking down to avoid seeing Morality’s face.

“Because you’re our family.”

Now Prince had gotten pulled in. Anxiety took a deep breath trying to stay calm. it wasn’t working.

“You keep saying that!” he blurted out, hands clenching into fists. He just wanted to answers.

“Because it’s true,” Prince was quick to reply.

“It didn’t use to be.”

Anxiety’s words hung in the air, the truth having been enough to shock everyone into silence. But it didn’t last.

“I- what,” Prince, stammered, sounding stunned.

“Anxiety, what do you mean by that,” Logic said slowly, his gaze sharp.

Anxiety clenched his jaw. Fuck it, might as well be honest. Maybe then things will start making sense again.

“I mean none of you used to care,” he began, keeping an eye on their reactions. "I was something you tolerated at best. And now you’re here talking about family and caring, and you really expect me to believe that? And I might not know what the hell all this is, because you all wouldn’t have gone this far for pity, but I know it isn’t real. So why? Just tell me why, and then I can leave, and we can forget this ever happened, and it will all end. We can go back to the way things were before”

“How can you- how can you say that?”

Prince was the one to break the silence.

Anxiety closed his eyes.

“Just give me a fucking answer, Princey,” he said wearily.

“We have,” Morality said, his voice thick. “We just didn’t say it soon enough.”

“Anxiety,” Logic cut in, his voice low but intense. “We don’t want things to go back to the way they were before. We were wrong before. We-we made a mistake, many mistakes.”

That was enough to make Anxiety reopen his eyes. Logic almost never admitted to making a mistake. He stared at the others, wary of what was happening, but unable to leave.

“We’re not lying, or acting out of pity,” Morality said, stepping closer. “You really are family, and you always have been. We were the ones that didn’t act like it. Not because we didn’t care, we did. But because we didn’t know how to approach you. But that’s not your fault, that’s on us.”

“Indeed,” Logic said. “We should have made the effort to connect with you, instead of expecting you to reach out when you needed it. We failed you.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive us,” Prince said. “Not after we made you feel so alone. But know we all are truly sorry, that I’m truly sorry. Because this is your answer, Anxiety. We’re doing it because we care, because we didn’t know how to show you before, but we never want you to feel otherwise again. We. Are. Family.”

Anxiety couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real.

“It is,” Logic replied gently. He’d said that out loud.

Family, family, family. The word echoed inside Anxiety’s mind, each time getting louder and louder. he could feel himself start to shake as, the beginnings of tears began to prick at his eyes.

It was then he felt a tentative hand on his shoulder. It was Patton. He began to slowly pull Anxiety closer to him, giving the other side time to pull away. But Anxiety didn’t. For once, he let himself lean into the touch until he was being hugged.

Anxiety shuddered. He could feel Patton’s arms around him, burning hot. But it didn’t hurt somehow. Instead he felt engulfed, the way he felt when he buried himself in blankets on bad days.

Another set of arms joined Patton’s, as Logan moved to Anxiety’s side, his arms settling on Anxiety’s shoulders. Then he felt a blaze of warmth at his back, as Roman joined in as well.

Caught between the three of them, every inch of his body lit up from the contact, Anxiety let out a shaky sigh. He wasn’t- It was still hard to believe them. But surrounded by them like this, enveloped by their concern and care, the idea that he was family didn’t seem so far-fetched after all.

Eventually, when the contact tipped from immense but good to overwhelming, Anxiety pulled back.The others let him without any fuss, stepping back, but still remaining close.

“Thanks,” he said, ducking his head. “For still trying, for not giving up on me.”

The three of them smiled at him.

“What else is family for.”

I was meant to be with him,” she said,
“That’s one thing I do believe. I believe that we were right for each other at some point and that we were meant to be once upon a time. But in this cruel world of reality life changes before you even have time to blink and suddenly everything you had ever known is no longer familiar to you. I do believe that he was supposed to be my last love, the person that I would grow old with. But I also believe that I fell in love with him too soon, that my eyes landed on him before they were supposed to and perhaps we fucked everything up because we went against fate and met way before our time. It’s like we were so perfect for each other but the universe found ways to tear us apart. It’s like when you’re in the sea and you’re trying to catch the waves with your hands. You know.. When it’s right there in front of you but absolutely impossible to catch.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write
"So what now?"

My first request: @16reasonswhy16q7w said;
But hey ima request, can you do an imagine where clay is in love with you but feels like it’s wrong because of everything that happened with Hannah and her being gone but he is really falling for the reader so he gives in

Also while I was at school someone threatened to shoot up local high schools and I could’ve died so yeah…

•••

Clay mindlessly exchanged books from his locker according to the classes he had left. Honestly, he was just killing time. What Clay was really doing was waiting for a certain h/c haired girl.

Clay heard the familiar voice of y/n; she was still at her locker (three lockers down from Hannah’s old locker) talking to one of her friends. Some feeling similar to guilt filled his stomach. He wasn’t sure why so he re-concentrated on his locker.

Then for a moment he thought he saw a brown haired girl in a white shirt. Hannah Baker. Clay closed his eye and shook his head, when he opened it Hannah was gone. He wasn’t sure which way he liked better; but he knew he liked y/n.

Like he’d ever tell anyone, especially her. After everything that happened… y/n closed her locker and she paused; y/n just stared at Hannah’s locker.

Clay mentally scolded himself…y/n was well known here. At first she was just one of Hannah’s friends that he was too shy to talk to; now the whole school knew her as the girl who had the breakdown after Hannah.

“Hey y/n,” Clay said before even giving himself a chance to decide if he was going to approach her.

Y/n smiled slightly, but it wasn’t the kind he liked. Clay remembered her genuine smiles, the kind that went to her eyes. This smile was a practiced polite smile, one that showed she was closed off.

“Hi Clay,” she replied. Clay didn’t know what to say and he wished he had prepared better. He didn’t know why he felt so awkward, he knew y/n she was a friend. She seemed extra annoyed this morning. “What’s wrong?”

Y/n let out a sigh. “My parents are a little paranoid since I haven’t been going out since…the point is I haven’t gone on dates or parties or anything.” She sighed once again, “my mom’s considering forcing me into joining a painful agony that is emotional therapy.”

Clay wasn’t sure if this was a sign or if this was fate being taunting. “We could hand out this weekend.” Y/n paused raising an eyebrow. “I-I mean to get your parents off your case so you don’t have to go to that.”

Y/n contemplated his offer. “I accept to these terms and conditions,” she responded in a kidding tone.

“Alright,” Clay said trying to sound much more relaxed than he felt. “I should get to class but I’ll text you for a day.”

As Clay started to turn away y/n responded. “You do realize you need my number to text me, right?”

For the first time, y/n felt like she looked forward to something. There always was this guilt for what happened; if she had called more maybe Hannah would still be her.

Clay listened. Listened to the tape.

*** (this is Hannah’s voice in the tape)***

Y/n l/n, where to start with this one. Don’t worry, she isn’t a–not like the others. But she deserves to have a testimony.

Y/n with the h/c hair, the girl always reminded me of hot chocolate. She in herself could solve someone’s problem the same way hot chocolate could.

We were allies long before we were friends. Then one day she showed up, showed up with this expression. Anger, sadness, and fear rolled into one. The expression didn’t fit her. She was too pretty to look so sad.

We were at the lockers and I asked her what’s the matter and I swear she almost told me. But instead she snapped and told me to leave her alone. She broke down though…the way hot chocolate ended was the same way she snapped. It was the greatest falling out.

***

Clay knew better than to bring this up. All he did was wait for Saturday.

***

Eventually the day came and y/n wore her grey t-shirt and light blue ripped jeans. She didn’t know what to expect but her mother was happy; and that was one less thing to feel bad about.

Y/n met up with Clay at the park. It was weird for her to be here again. She felt these butterflies…did she like Clay? That’s ridiculous, then Clay’s hand brushed her hand. The butterflies got stronger–yep, she liked him. Maybe even something more.

Clay couldn’t, and that’s why he wanted to so badly. After the whole Hannah incident any feelings like that toward anyone were terrible. Then she smiled, that specific breath stealing smile. He couldn’t stop himself before he took y/n’s hand.

“I know you’ve got complications,” he muttered.

Y/n froze, “I-I.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like that. I just know you and Hannah had a falling out.” The phrase ‘falling out’ made y/n flinch. “A-are you okay?”

Y/n shivered slightly and shook her head. “Y-yeah, just a bit cold.”

Clay handed her his jacket and y/n took it but gave him a confused expression. “Well you said you were cold.”

“Thanks,” y/n said.

“Look I don’t care what happened or what you did or didn’t do…I-I like you a lot.” His admission made her freeze. “Just forget it.”

When y/n’s shock died down she asked a question. “What if I don’t want to forget it?”

Clay gave a small, sarcastic smile. “Are you saying you like me?”

Y/n would never admit that. “I’m not saying I’m not saying that.”

Her expression made him laugh. “I like you a lot, y/n l/n.”

“I like you a lot too, Clay Jensen.” Y/n replied.

Bye the time she realized that she had admitted it was too late.“

“You said it,” Clay teased!

Y/n defended herself, “shut up.”

Clay smiled and once again before he knew what he was doing he did it. He leaned in and kissed y/n. For a moment he didn’t care about anything or everything that had happened or could happen. All he cared about was that he was with y/n.

Y/n pulled away first. “I like you too.”

“So, what now?”

Y/n took his hand. “So, what now indeed.”

***

I hoped you liked this :)) also I’m willing to do a prologue or part 2 just let me know!

3

It wasn’t like you had planned to catch the attentions of a Rogue like Leonard Snart. You hadn’t even realized that you had at first. And by the time you really knew about the way Len earned his living? You were in deep.

You’d been working at The Motorcar your last year of college when you first met him. Len was a regular who tipped well for all that he mostly only ordered coffee.

Not that you blamed him. You’d almost starved with that job as your main food source. If it didn’t taste horrible, then it tended to make you ill. You weren’t sure why. You scoured the place, and it did pass the food safety code.

If you were any more superstitious, you’d say the place was cursed.

Len was a regular who wasn’t big on small talk, or wasting words in general. Everything about him was precise. His order, his payment, the seat he wanted, and when were good times to speak to him. You still preferred him to the drunks who wanted a show, or the kids too high to know if they even brought enough money to cover their order. Although at least they never complained about the food.

Even if the wisdom of sating one’s munchies across from CCPD left much to be desired. You figured it was some twisted inner need to be caught. Or it was a three foot eff you to the system. Could go either way really.

Every other weekend, Len brought his sister. It was the one divergence in his otherwise exact schedule. You’d notice him actually smiling - not the polite tip of the corners of his mouth, but genuinely smiling - from time to time when she was there. You made a point to never drift over while they were in the middle of a discussion. And perhaps because of that, at least in retrospect, they always sat in your section.

Your last month at the diner, you’d begged Lisa to come with you to a ballroom dance event. You’d been pulling so many shifts at the diner that making friends with your fellow college drudges attending over summer semester hadn’t been a priority. Going would net you extra credit, which you couldn’t overlook, but going when you knew absolutely no one wasn’t high on your wishlist. Neither was making a fool of yourself, but you figured you’d only see her one more time anyway, so there wasn’t any harm.

She’d gone, to your eternal relief, not making a big deal about it at all. In fact, she’d laughed about how the moving as a team and timing were right up her brother’s alley, even if it wasn’t hers. If anyone had asked you, you would have said the Snarts were good people. A little distant, but kind enough and certainly well meaning. 

In fact, you did say that when the police came knocking not long after, suspecting them. You didn’t see either of them for several years. Not because they’d been in Iron Heights - you thought they might have gotten out of those charges - but because you hadn’t been in Central City.

Len found you in Keystone, working for an advertising company that should have been the job of your dreams. He’d asked if you still had space on your dance card for him after commenting on the glowing character reference you’d given his arresting officer. And somehow that led to a visit to an art museum, and then you moving back to Central City to be able to see more of him.

You’d thought about moving back before. Central was home in a way Keystone had never become. It also had the PR nightmare known as S.T.A.R. Labs to attract your attention. So while Len sought his own adrenaline rush, you’d reached out to the skeleton team left with your proposal. Dr. Wells hadn’t found it necessary, but he had understood your desire to have a challenge. Cisco and Caitlin had been happy to have your help. Such as it was, anyway.

You weren’t a part of Team Flash, although you hadn’t missed their little meetings. Dr. Wells had confronted you about it early on after you had asked him in private if he wanted you to use that information to build up his reputation again or if he’d prefer the secrecy. The scientist had been pretty clear which option he had preferred.

Later, when Lisa seduced Cisco and then Len had tortured his brother to find out the Flash’s identity, you’d been summoned for another private conversation with the physicist. He’d been impressed that for someone so perceptive you hadn’t told your own boyfriend the Flash’s identity. Or hadn’t you worked it out yet?

Although, as it turns out, that conversation wasn’t quite as private as you’d thought.

“You’re dating Captain Cold?”

Turning towards the incredulous voice, you met Cisco’s gaze with a wince.

“I had no idea he was going to do something like that to you, Cisco. Honest. He doesn’t ask me about my work; I don’t ask him about his.”

“An interesting policy, to be sure,” Doctor Wells commented, his eyes laughing for all that his vocal tone was dry and serious.

“We were dating way before he got ahold of your cold gun,” that justification felt hollow even to you.

Cisco didn’t take it as any justification at all.

“Well, stop! He’s a thief. And a murderer, not to mention.”

“Honestly. You do not want to go the route of dragging up dirty little secrets,” you growled out in self defense. “It’s my job to know all of yours, so I can portray you in the best light. Or had you forgotten?”

Watching the interplay between the two men was fascinating. Dr. Wells polishing his glasses as Cisco looked to him for support. Which he did give but with a tired expression to indicate they couldn’t control your life choices.

Damn straight they couldn’t. Even if you had nothing really on Cisco, minus the fact he’d created the weapons used against his brother, which was a cruel thing indeed to mention.

Well, and the fact you’d heard by now just how Cisco was lured into begin with, and this was very much a scenario of the pot calling the kettle black.

 The dark glimmer beneath the professor’s gaze still had you rushing out an addendum quickly.

“Excepting, of course, boundaries like the identity of the Flash and what you do in your personal time.”

You grabbed your jacket and nodded politely to both of them.

“That said, I’d prefer what I do on my personal time to remain personal as well. And I’ve a date in precisely twelve minutes. I am sorry for what happened, Cisco. But I do prefer to be on time. Shall I give your regards to Lisa?”

You decided his blush was adorable. And apparently, so did Dr. Wells. He’d laughed anyway before nodding you on to go home.

Only eleven minutes until you got to see him again. Because dammit, you didn’t care if he was a thief and a rogue.

He was yours.


Prompt source: x

It had been going on for a while. Rival papers, rival journalists. Clarke would get the tip, Lexa would arrive first at the scene – or vice versa. She rather liked it when it was her getting the story first, but her victories were just as frequent as Lexa’s.

There had to be a traitor in her office – there was one in Lexa’s after all, with Niylah feeding Clarke scoop after scoop just as soon as Lexa got word of them. Was Lexa flirting with one of her co-workers too? The thought was… oddly unpleasant.

Of course, there were the times when their rivalry, known (and barely put up with) by all, took a slight… detour and things between them would heat up in a very different way than usual.

Even though she would never admit it to anyone, those were the times Clarke revelled the most. Those were the times that made losing a few first hand stories almost worth it. Lexa didn’t need to know that, though.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

The voice, softer than her own, pulled the corners of Clarke’s lips up into a smile. She lay her chin on the chest underneath her, blue eyes playfully meeting green ones.

“Thank God none of our friends know about this,” she admitted, placing a soft kiss between Lexa’s breasts. “Raven and Octavia would tease me endlessly.”

To Clarke’s surprise, Lexa didn’t smirk; she frowned. “You haven’t told your friends about us?”

Clarke laughed and got off of Lexa, opting to lie down beside her. “What, like you have?” The deepening crease between those striking jade eyes was answer enough and she didn’t know how to react. “There is no us, Lexa.”

Suddenly Lexa was up, throwing covers off her lithe body and searching for her clothes among the jungle of Clarke’s bedroom floor. Clarke, in turn, was utterly confused, taken aback by Lexa’s sullen behaviour.

“Where are you going?”

“What does it look like, Clarke?” Lexa snapped as she pulled pants up to her waist. “I’m going home.”

“Why? We were just relaxing, I don't– what the hell is wrong with you?”

Lexa finished buttoning her shirt and heaved an exasperated sigh, turning to Clarke with a cold gaze.

“I get it, Clarke. We are rivals, we steal each other’s stories, and then we fuck to keep the adrenaline pumping.” Lexa’s voice was as gelid and stoic as her eyes. “It’s just curious that you still see it as that when we have been staying the night for over three months.”

Feeling exposed all of a sudden, Clarke sat up and pulled the blankets up to cover her chest. “We agreed that it was easier if you caught the morning train to your place,” she said defensively.

“I’ve got a drawer in your wardrobe, Clarke!”

“Not my fault you leave your clothes here all the time,” the blonde shrugged.

Lexa’s eye roll was worthy of some Olympic back flip medal or something. Were there Olympic medals for back flips? Clarke didn’t really know a lot about sports.

“You call me aloof and emotionally constipated, but I am not the one who keeps believing those easy ways out after three months of mornings after,” Lexa claimed, a hue of hurt in the rainbow of feelings in her voice.

Clarke was at a loss for words, so she said the first thing that came to mind. “We fuck. What’s the big deal about that?”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, for Lexa just turned away with a huff and walked out, making sure to slam the door as she left.

*

They hadn’t talked for a month. Lexa had been keeping her distance: not coming any close to her stories, leaving Clarke alone to make the most of her own scoops. It would have been paradise, if not for the gaping absence of teasing remarks, insufferable smirks – any words at all. Clarke kept trying to steal some scoops for herself, but Lexa was relentless, never letting Clarke win.

In a fell swoop, Clarke had lost her fuck buddy and her rival. Every time she got to a place, Lexa would either be long gone or never show up at all. Journalism just wasn’t as fun anymore.

Clarke had loved the whole enemies/lovers dynamic, sleeping with none other than your greatest rival. After every hustle, they would fall into bed together, releasing their frustration and satiating their rivalry in each other’s arms, mouths, fingers. It was something Clarke had never experienced before.

Clarke was snatched out of her thoughts by a binder falling violently on her desk. She looked up to find Octavia glaring at her.

“What now, O?” Clarke asked impatiently. “Too much paperwork for your lazy ass?”

“Wow, Lexa really left your panties in a twist,” her brunette friend chuckled dryly. “Can you two please go back to fucking?”

Clark’s bewildered gasp and choke would have been funny if not for the situation they were in. “You know? she choked out in a spluttering mess.

“Of course I do,” Octavia frowned. “We all know Lexa lets you get half of her stories and then you two go home and fuck each other’s brains out. Or, well, did. Now you two just mope around like you lost your favourite candy.”

The knowledge that Lexa was doing just as bad as her gave Clarke an odd hopeful feeling. “She’s moping?”

“Of course she is. How would you expect her to react to a break up?”

“This was not– We weren’t even together.”

This time, Octavia laughed heartily, taking more than a minute to gather her bearings and turn to Clarke with a mocking expression.

“Sweetie, like or not, you two were dating for the past three months. You don’t do the morning after with someone you don’t care about.”

There it was again, the morning after. Clarke didn’t understand what relevance it had to the case. “I still don’t know why the morning after seems to be so important,” she grumbled.

Octavia just shook her head in disbelief. “You may be blonde, but you’re not blonde, Clarke. Don’t lie to yourself just because you’re afraid to face the truth.”

*

Clarke was determined to get this right. This story was Lexa’s, Niylah had promised, and she was going to get there fast enough to catch the brunette before she could leave.

She would also steal the story, but that was another story. Pun fully intended, Clarke decided in that moment.

When Lexa showed up, she was the image of beauty. Long brown curls tamed in a ponytail, her face was clean and open and probably what heaven looked like. Emerald eyes didn’t hide their owner’s shock to see her.

“Clarke,” Lexa half breathed, half gasped, eyes wide and lips parted.

Clarke had to remember the speech she had practiced at home, in front of her mirror, like a romantic loser.

“Lexa, I– Can we talk?”

Lexa eyed her suspiciously, but eventually agreed, with a discreet nod of her head. They headed to another room, making the interviewee wait for its five minutes in the limelight.

“What do you want, Clarke?” The hostility of Lexa’s tone made her flinch. She had a lot of explaining to do. “I will not go back to the way we were before.”

“I know, I know,” Clarke rushed to say, promising her memories of Lexa writhing under her that she would give them full her attention once she got home. “I don’t want that either.” At Lexa’s frown, she ploughed on. “I don’t want to go back to the way we were before, because I want so much more. I thought what we had was just an easy rivals with benefits situation. We would do the rivalling during the day, fuck during the night. You kept clothes at my place so no one would ever see you leave with the clothes of the day before on. In the middle of all the lying I did to keep myself from panicking, I forgot to realise that you started staying the night because I asked you to. And it went on for three months because I wanted you to. And I would ask and want you to stay the night because I needed to fall asleep and wake up next to you, because there is no greater feeling in the world than that of spending every hour of your day with the person you love.”

Lexa’s eyes were wide like saucers, but Clarke couldn’t stop now.

“That’s the other thing I forgot,” she admitted, her voice small. “I forgot that slowly but surely, I was falling in love with you.”

Lexa pressed her lips together pensively, letting the silence stretch before she broke it. “Why didn’t you tell your friends?”

“The same reason for all my other fuck ups: I was afraid. Telling them would mean they would be able to give me the advice I was dreading: that all those mornings after did hold meaning after all and that I couldn’t hide from my feelings anymore.”

Lexa nodded this time, still not making a sound. “Will you tell your friends now?”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile. “Already have.”

Another nod. “Are we still rivals?”

“You’re as much my enemy as when we started this whole thing.”

Lexa was sporting a small smile now, a crooked little thing that Clarke had always found adorable. “I would not have it any other way.”

“But Lexa, now you’re also my best friend and… If you give me the honour… My girlfriend.”

Lexa’s shy smile turned into a smirk. “Only if you admit that Polis is the superior newspaper.”

Clarke didn’t even gasp. “For you, I would quit the Arkadia.”

Lexa’s amused smile, however, showed she was just kidding. “No need. Wouldn’t want to end the rivalry, would we?”

In that moment – and the moment after, when she finally got to get reacquainted with Lexa’s lips –, Clarke knew that she wanted all the mornings after and the nights during and the afternoons before.

She wanted everything with Lexa.

The Virus (Extended)

***Logs of the late Admiral Elfre”

Personal log 1. I got accepted into the coalition military only as a simple deck serf my main duties are cleaning the vents of vermin that somehow make it onto the ships and breed. I also run messages, it’s good exercise but most of the officers don’t even look at me, I’ll show them I’ll make admiral in not time.

Personal Log 6. After helping engineer Lopya with the engine after being stuck in dead space for nearly a week I was promoted to bridge officer, I mainly work the coms console but it is a step in the right direction, i cant wait. 

Personal Log 8. One of our explorer ships has found a new planet, this one is apparently unique and has all our scientists really excited. Not sure how it is unique because I always thought every world in the galaxy was unique but apparently this is one is special. My colleagues are talking about nothing else I might actually keep an eye on the com traffic to see what the fuss is about.

Personal Log 9. Well I read some of the com messages ( I know I’m not supposed to but curiosity got the better of me) and this new world everyone is going crazy over is apparently the only world which can truly be classified as a “Dead World”  But life is not only surviving apparently its thriving. They think their might be intelligent life there, even if the air is toxic and the plant life poisonous and Maker only knows what the animal life is like. I shudder to think of what could survive there.

Personal log 13. The explorer team has gone missing, they were researching a new animal that lived in huge hives and it is believed the creatures may have discovered them. Not sure how I thought they were using this new cloaking technology that makes them invisible? Could these creatures see through it?

Personal Log 14. Workload today was insane, more com traffic than ever, our fleet is being redirected. But on the bright side if I make a good impression the captain might put me on course for deck officer level 2? I can only hope.

Personal Log 16. I’m not sure if this is good or not but our fleet has been chosen to search for that research team that went missing, why we should when we are an explorer fleet not a military fleet. I mean, we only have  handful of actual soldiers on each ship, but then orders are orders.

Personal Log 17. I think I may have made a mistake, the captain wanted a coms officer to go and record to rescue and like an idiot I said I’d do it before I truly thought about it. I’m going to a “Dead world” to find people. I want to live long enough to have wife’s and spawns I don’t want to to go somewhere where i might die. Well I can’t back out now, at least Major Jesa gave me a handgun to use in  case.

Personal Log 18. We landed on the planet at the researchers last known location, we found their base, it was hidden inside one of the hills over looking a herd of fluffy animals that made off “Bahhhh” sounds as they saw us. They were not hostile luckily, we assumed they were prey animals, wee went off to complete our mission. We found one of the trackers the researchers use sot hey don’t get lost, it was badly broken so the log could not be accessed, we bagged it kept on.

Personal Log 19 The nights here are cold, really cold. We set up air tight tents so we did not have to sleep in our suits and even with the heaters we were all shivering. Private Getr joked this was worse than the time he fought against some snow like monsters on a world going through an ice age. i could tell he was not joking, i hate this place.

Personal Log 20. Private Getr’s suit was split yesterday, some plant that has spikes cut his suit and he died in moments, he never had a chance to even seal the split. A pair of his comrades volunteer to take him back to the shuttle and off they go, we are three men down. 

Personal Log 21. The rain, so much rain, I mean it’s not unusual for water to fall from the sky but this is just crazy, we all agree not to out today.

Personal Log 22. We saw the natives, or at least what we think are the most dominant natives here. There were three of them, small and running around in one of the fields playing I think, is that playing or were they fighting for dominance? they were quite small and talked to each other in odd clicking noises. Then the older appeared, far larger than their young, they appeared out of the trees not far from us, then one of them started sniffing the air, no way could they smell us could they? We quickly left before we were discovered. But not before we saw the Hive, it was larger than any city I have seen, how many of these creatures were there.

Personal Log 23. Finally some other sign of the research team, an tent, only one but it’s a sign. We call inside but there is no answer, we slowly make our way inside and find what we feared we would.  A body, His skin was the same as privates Getr’s when his suit split, he was holding a note though all it said was. “Run!”

Personal Log 27. Well I’m glad that’s over with and i can get back to my life, that world is now off limits to everyone now and is under strict quarantine level 10. The first planet to get that level. They even named it Kila, apparently it means death in one of languages spoken in the coalition.   

Personal Log 30. Since my mission to Kila I have gain more responsibility and just yesterday they are giving me my own ship!! It’s only a snall support ship with a few hundred crew but I’m excited. Captain Elfre, i like the sound of that.

Captains Log 36. I’M BORED!!!! This support ship gets almost no mission, all we do is patrol and help the larger ships move into formation, I want a bigger ship!!!! Or at least something to break the boredom.

Captains Log 38. A whole quarantine fleet went missing a couple of days ago, I instantly knew which one before i even heard the planets name, it was Kila. By the Maker have they made it off the that planet? More fleet are being directed and we are on standby if we are needed. I have a feeling we will be.

Captains Log 40. We are needed, the fleet is heading to the quarantine Kila zone.

Captains Log 41. The quarantine is breached the creatures have built ships and a lot of them, these hive ships were scanned and found our own technology on board. They are using our warp drives, did they figure out of they were built? How? Are these things sentient? We take up position to bar their path and we simply stare at each other, we send message after message to try and open a dialog but there is no response. Then over all our coms, a noise like screaming, is that Getr? Are they in my head? Only one word is truly heard. Hooman, our enemy has a name.  The Admiral orders us to open fire and we unleash our weapons upon them, huge pulse cannons and missiles with enough yield to scorch a planet. Nearly all miss. How could they miss and those that hit seemed to only cause minimal damage. Wait are..their ships healing themselves? We scramble to reload and open fire again but the Hoomans fore first, we don’t recognize what kind of weapons they are using but they cut right through our armor, the flagship goes down having been hit by three separate enemy ships. The other captains are screaming orders or trying to regain some kind of control, I shout over the coms that I cam taking command and order the retreat. The war against the Hoomans, has begun.

Captains Log 50. The Hoomans are spreading and spreading fast, every engagement is the same, they break into real space, our coms go haywire and our fleet gets wiped out. We need a different strategy.

Captains Log 54. I have been given command of a new battleship, it is to be the new flagship of a invasion force into Hooman space. Our scientist have theorized that the Hoomans work on a hive mind command structure and if we wipe out the their main hive world Kila the rest will fall into chaos. I don’t know how they can know that as to my mind no Hooman has been captured alive or dead. But I am eager to go on the offensive for once.

Captains Log 55. Our first victory!!! We engaged the Hoomans on the edge of their space and wiped them out, we left the planet as we needed to save our resources for the homeworld but it felt good to drop a few nukes down there. We can do this, we can win!!

Captains Log 57. The Hoomans never seem to run out of ships, we have assembled the largest fleet in the galaxy and that has got their attention, their advance into our space has halted. I have their complete attention, and that terrifies me.

Captains Log 58. We lost half our ships in the last battle and the flagship is heavily damaged we have taken refuge in an asteroid belt to make repairs but the Hoomans are looking for us. They always know where to find us, they always know.

Captains Log 60. I can only engage the Homans one more time before I have to retreat and i am nowhere near their homeworld of Kila, they always seem to have more ships. The last engagement were boarded by them, I have seen every kind of species in the galaxy and we are all different, some are fast, some are strong, some are smart and so on. But never have I seen a race like them. They only have two arms and two legs which is the lowest number of any rce and it seems to work to their advantage. I saw on the security cameras our soldiers fight them in hand to hand and the Hoomans just danced around them. They moved like water and hit like avalanches, our new directive was never to engage them in close combat, you’d never win. Not that shooting them seems to work either, my bridge was breached by them and i shot one in the head with my pistol and it barley flinched, if it wasn’t for a guard with a blaster i would have been dead. Sadly that moment of saving my life cost him his own, he was hit my one of their weapons and his whole body evaporated. Not sure what is a worse way to die, being touched by one of these things or shot. This invasion is over, I’m ordering the retreat.

Captains Log 62. 2 months, that was all the time I bought while invading their space and once more they are on the offensive, consuming world after world and terraforming it so only they can live there. Trillions are now dead and how much further will they spread before they burn themselves out.

Captains Log 65. Our leaders are panicking, the surviving races are merging all their resources in some attempt to turn this tide. Our pleas of surrender and mercy go unanswered except for the usual response of the com screaming. But on some lighter note I go promoted to Admiral, my life long goal was achieved only because my predecessor shot himself when his homeworld was consumed by the Hoomans, his mate and youngling did not make it of world in time. They now expect me to win this war for them, I don’t know if I can but I am going to try.

Admirals Log 1, My first engagement as an Admiral with the race known as Hooman has ended in our utter defeat, we exited hyperspace right on top of them and they reacted as if they knew we were coming. Are these creatures just super fast or can they see the future? We retreated to Elixal Prime but my few remaining ships will not be enough to hold them off for long. I have already began evacuation but there are not enough ships, they will be here soon,

Admirals Log 5, Elixal Prime is lost, the moment the first of their hive ships arrived we had to abandon any hope of rescuing the population. I can only imagine what horrors they will face. We heard their screams over the com as we left.

Admirals Log 13. I have implemented a scorched earth policy, any world we cannot protect or have to retreat from is scorched to make sure they can’t use it. It will slow them at least.

Admirals Log.16 It did not stop or slow them, in fact it made terraforming the planet for themselves easier so we have abandoned that tactic.

Admirals Log 22. They are spreading faster now, faster than we can track them its like a damn has broken and their entire race is now searching for new worlds to consume. Do they eat their worlds? Is that why they are expanding? for food?

Admirals log 29 the Hoomans have conquered half the galaxy and there are too few of the surviving races with the ships to even try and stop them. Some are talking about surrender. How could we? These creatures are so deadly that even one setting foot on a planet spells disaster as if their whole body was made to house millions of viruses. My old friend was touched by one once, I’ll never forget what happened to him. His skin burned and fell off he bled form every part of his body, his screams, they still haunt me.

Admirals Log 40. Me and the other admirals have agreed that this war cannot be won, we have but one hope, all the survivors of the coalition have gathered in one system. There are only 50 billion left out of a population of thousands of trillions. But our scientists have built a war winning weapon, a huge beam cannon that can destroy fleets. It is very experimental as if uses the power oft he sun to fire. The plan is to use it to defend against the Hoomans in this system indefinitely, let them have the galaxy surely they will let us have one small system?

Admirals Log 50. I was wrong about the Hoomans letting us live here, because here they are, but there is only one hive ship just sitting there watching us. My ship is placed directly opposite it, Im sure i can take on one ship but I know, that silently out there, his friends are watching. Once more our coms go nuts, i turn it off, i have had enough of listening to the sounds of my comrades die over and over again. I open fire and before the munitions hit the Hooman hive ship turns and enters hyperspace. He’ll be back.

Admirals Log 60. The Hoomans are back and it seems they have brought their entire fleet with them, My fleet has over 5000 ships of varying classes and the new solar cannon we built. Just a little closer, i oder the cannon to fire and millions of miles behind my fleet the solar cannon unleashes the power of the sun at the Hoomans. Then…wait? No this is not possible the Hooman fleet is moving and a new kind of ship is taking the lead…it’s huge almost the size of a moon and it is moving to intercept the beam. The solar cannons beam hits the new hive ship but…it does not do what they said it would. It is supposed to destroy the ship then the beam jumps tot the nearest ship and destroys that one and so on. But the ship is…is…absorbing it? the light is dancing around the hive ship and then suddenly fires from the tip, oh no it’s heading for one of the planets! It hit the planet the solar cannon was orbiting and it erupts and breaks apart. 20 billion souls all gone in an instant. Screaming I order to open fire, all 5000 ships unleash our firepower at the Hoomans, with so many ships and so many targets it’s hard to miss. The battle last only an hour. 

Admiral’s log , We’ve lost, our final stand began an hour ago, 3 thousand ships gone, in an hour!!! How could such a race even exist? I sit here reading reports of what their world is like, no wonder they turned out like they did out of all the worlds in the galaxy this one has to be the most hostile one. I’m not going down without a fight though.

Admiral Efre grabbed his rifle and locked his log in the hopes that it might be found by someone who could read it and remember the struggle the galaxy went through. Perhaps in a couple of millennia when the Hoomans have died out. The Hoomans were cutting through the door now, his soldiers all got to their feet and readied their rifles. The pride he felt for them, even in their final moments they were defiant, even though there was nothing and no one left to save.

The door blasts open and we open fire, like before the Hoomans shrug off our shots like they were pebbles, a few go down but it doesnt stop the others. The run into us and…and? They’re not killing us By the Maker they want us alive! Are they going to eat us? One grabs me with its gloved hand and forces me to my knees alongside my soldiers and another enters like the others of it’s kind inside a sealed suit. It lowers itself to look me in the eye and raising a visor to show it’s face.

They’re disgusting, their faces…the proportions are all wrong and only two eyes? How could they see so well with only two eyes? The nose is pitiful in size I can only imagine how strong it was. And the skin, it looks wet like oil, is it acid?

Finally it speaks and the words put the chill of death into me.

“We were only trying to say hello”

Just friends? part 2 || Dan Howell

A/N: First of all, Happy Birthday to my lovely slightly anon! I’m so glad that you found my blog bc your messages make me super happy! 

Also, here is the second part to just friends! Does this need a lil smut warning? Maybe.. 

Word Count: 1.9K ( I got a bit carried away)

POV: Reader

MASTERLIST // PART ONE // PART THREE

Originally posted by coolimogene

Dan quickly pushed my unclasped bra down, eager to touch my boobs.

“Wait” I told him, before he could start touching me.

He quickly nodded and carefully withdrew his hands.

To his sheer surprise, I lifted my shirt over my head and took it off along with my bra that he had previously opened.

“Fuck” Dan gulped at the sight of my bare chest.

I was still straddling him and the bulge in his pants was quite prominent by now.

He drew a shake breath, unable to take his eyes off my breasts.

“You can touch me now” I then whispered and guided his hands to where he really wanted them to be.

His big hands felt rough against my sensitive skin as Dan started squeezing my boobs.  

I bit my bottom lip at the sensation and the sight.

As if his hands weren’t enough already, Dan then started to drag his lips painfully slow across my collar bone before he left open mouth kisses all over my chest.

While I tried to supress my moans, I urged him to take off his shirt so I could explore his broad chest with both my mouth and my hands.

“Dan!” I squealed, as he left lovebites all over my neck and cleavage.

He just smirked and continued until I let my hands slowly slide down to the huge tent that had formed in his jeans.

Dan stopped in the middle of his tracks and watched my every move as I unbuttoned and zipped down his pants.

“Holy shit” he whispered under his breath as I stripped him off his jeans and boxers.

“I think it’s a little unfair that you’re still half clothed.” Dan teased me, making me giggle.

“Sounds quite unfair to me.” I whispered in his ear.

“We don’t we change it then?”

Immediately after he growled that he freed me from my tight trousers, leaving me in my lacy underwear that made him breath heavily.

But before he started to stare for too long, he hooked his fingers under the elastic band of my underpants and pulled them down with one quick motion.

Our clothes were like the last obstacles in our way. They were the only thing left that could’ve stopped us from absolutely and completely crossing the friendship barrier.

As soon as they were off, there was nothing that could hold us back.

One thing just led to another and…

I woke with my head resting on Dan’s chest once again. This time though I had also slung one arm around him.

I tiredly blinked a couple of times. My head still hurt from drinking yesterday and I overall still felt a tiny bit dizzy.

Dan lightly grunted as he slowly opened his eyes as well.

I was about to smile at him and laugh at the fact that we had fallen asleep like this again but then I noticed that something was very different from last time.

My head was resting against his bare chest.

Suddenly I wasn’t tired anymore. I quickly took a glance underneath the blanked that I was wrapped up in only to see that I was completely naked.

“Ooh my fucking god, Dan!” I freaked out, taking Dan, who still looked extremely sleepy, aback.

“What?” he just mumbled as his eyes fell shut.

“Wait a second!” he then shouted as his eyes shot open again.

He looked down on him and realized with shock what I was talking about.

We both gulped hard and just stared at each other wide eyed.

“What the fuck did we do?” Dan panicked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“To our defence, we were both quite drunk, right?” I asked him a little bit worried.

We just couldn’t tell wrong from right anymore because of all the alcohol we drank. Still, I was not wasted enough to have a black out. In fact, I could still remember everything.

“Look away and close your eyes.” I told Dan since I had decided to get up.

He sighed but did as I told him. I quickly got out of his bed in a hurry to put my clothes back on.

I looked around his room but didn’t see them.

“I can’t find my clothes” I groaned in frustration.

My complaint made Dan instinctively look my way to help me search for them.

“Don’t look!” I squealed and tried to quickly cover myself.

“It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before, Y/N.” Dan grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me, making me want to hit his head with something heavy.

Instead I just shot him an extremely stern glare that wiped the grin off his face.

“Right, I think I took your clothes off in the living room.” He then awkwardly said, pulling his eyes of my body and looking at his lap instead.

I grabbed the blanket from the bed and covered my body with it before I headed to the living room to fetch our clothes.

“Here you go” I said as I threw Dan’s shirt, jeans and boxers at him once I re-entered his room.

I still couldn’t believe that Dan and I slept with each other. Last week I was worried because we cuddled and now this happened.

We got dressed next to each other silently so we could get some breakfast.

I was about to head out of his room as he stopped me.

“Wait uhm, Y/N?”

“What?” I asked, noticing him staring at me with a guilty expression.    

“You have like.. uhm on your neck and ahh on your like..” He mumbled and gestured to my neck and cleavage.

I raised my eyebrows at him in confusion before I looked at myself in his mirror and realized what he was talking about.

My skin was covered in hickeys and my shirt didn’t do much to cover them up.

“Dan! What were you thinking?” I asked him, embarrassed.

He didn’t say anything, instead he blushed a crimson kind of red.

“You marked me!” I complained, laughing.

“I- I didn’t ‘mark’ you..” Dan stuttered before he spent to next 10 minutes searching for a scarf that I could wear over my lovebites.

“Oh and Dan?” I asked him as soon as we left his apartment to search for a little café that we could have breakfast in.

“Yes?” He answered almost immediately.

“We are just gonna forget about this, right?” I wanted to know, I didn’t want things to be awkward whenever we were in the same room.

“It never happened.” He assured me and I wished it was true.

“No word to Phil, my brother or anyone else. No talking about it in general.” I warned him sternly.

“Yes, madam!” He nodded as we entered a cute little café at the end of the street. It smelled heavenly like freshly baked bread and coffee.

“Just friends?” I asked him, a little bit nervous.

“Just friends.” He confirmed before we sat down on a table together and ordered our food.

‘If only it were that easy’ I thought to myself a week later while I was alone in my dorm room. I hadn’t been at Dan’s place in a week. We did see each other when we had lunch with a few of our friends, though.

It was awkward.

Going back to the way we were before that one night wasn’t as easy as I wanted it to be. We were afraid of saying the wrong things and any form of touching when it came to one another. Even shaking our hands or hugging was weird now. We also didn’t want anyone to find out that we hooked up.

It was a lot more complicated than how I thought it was going to be. Maybe we just needed a little while to forget it happened but right now I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Although I was drunk I still remembered everything. His hands on my skin, his lips all over my body, how turned I was, how much I wanted him at that moment and how good it felt.

‘sTop!’ I screamed at myself as I caught myself thinking that.

I groaned and sighed at myself as my phone started to ring. I glanced down at the caller ID. It was Dan.

“Hi, what’s up?” I chirped, trying to act as normal as possible.

“Hey, Y/N. Your brother and a couple of our other friends are coming over tonight. Do you want to come as well?” He asked me through the speaker.

“My brother is in town and didn’t even tell me?” I gasped, shaking my head in disbelief.

“His train is gonna arrive in an hour I think. Soo.. you coming?”

“Sure, I’ll take the next bus.” I told him after checking the time.

“Good, see you in a bit.”

“See you later.” I said before I hung up.

After I showered and got dressed, I hopped onto the next bus. I hated to admit it but I was secretly excited and nervous to see Dan again. I was gonna be at his flat for the first time after we had sex and my brother and a couple of his other friends were going to be there too.

I wasn’t quite sure if that made it better or worse.

About an hour after Dan’s call I climbed the stairs to his flat. I quickly knocked on his door and Phil was the one to open.

“Hey there.” He grinned mischievously and let me in. I raised my eyebrow at him in confusion before I slipped out of my shoes.

Walking into the living room I was greeted by 6 tall guys, one of them being my brother and another one being Dan.

They all shouted their hellos that I returned. As I sat down on the sofa next to Phil, who had followed me, I couldn’t help but take a quick glance at the spot where Dan and I made out last week.

“Have you noticed our t-shirts yet?” Jack asked me with a smirk, shaking me out of my thoughts.

“Your wha-?” I was about to ask as my eyes landed on their shirts.

All of the boys, except Dan, were wearing the same t-shirt with the same word printed over their chests: It was Dan and I’s ship name. A combination of Dan and Y/N.

“oh my god” I whined as the boys laughed.

I quickly tried hiding my face behind my hair in order to make my bright red cheeks less visible.

“I know you told us to stop printing our shipper shirts, but they were already in the making” My brother explained, referring to the text I sent into the group chat when Phil posted the picture of Dan and I’s cuddle session.  

Now I understood why Phil was grinning at me like that earlier.

“I’m sorry” Dan mouthed although it wasn’t his fault. He was clearly as embarrassed as me.

I wanted things between me and Dan to go back to normal instead this happened and made things one hundred times more awkward.

“Wait! This is where they cuddled, right?” Jack exclaimed excitedly, pointing to that one spot on the sofa.

I nearly choked on my own spit. My eyes met Dan’s for a split second as my cheeks grew a deeper shade of red.

If Jack only knew what also happened on that spot…

Oh, sweet hell this was awkward.

Dan and I just sat opposite each other and avoided making eye contact at any cost while all of the boys were teasing us although all they knew was that we cuddled.

I already knew that this was going to be a long and embarrassing night… 

BTS reacts to you getting jealous

Helloo there ^^

Once again I apologize for taking so long. Really I don’t know whats wrong with me… I’m just tired all the time and all I want is to lay in bed. (it’s annoying). Anyways I hope you like this one. I can totally relate ‘cause I can get jealous pretty quickly if it involves what’s mine hahaha. I don’t show it but I certainly do feel it. I haven’t proofread it yet so try to overlook the annoying mistakes. I will change it soon. (I’m lazy.)  

Seokjin

You couldn’t believe it! You just could not believe it. It was the freaking fifth time, a lady tried to chat your boyfriend up. The flirty gazes and the little touches had your blood boiling. That was it. You were freaking done.

Slamming the drinks on the counter, you took quick steps towards them. Once you were near you muttered a ‘excuse me’ to the blond and swooped between them. Curling your hand in his shirt, you yanked him down and smashed your lips on his. Your hands now traveled towards the back of his neck as you put more pressure on his lips. 

At first Seokjin was shocked, trying to back away but once he fell into the kiss, his hands glided down to your waist as he pulled you closer not caring anymore if you were in public. 

When you heard the loud clicking of heels fading away, you pulled away from him and stepped back. Smoothing down your clothes and his, you turned around to get your coffee you abandoned. 

You couldn’t help but smirk when you heard Seokjin stuttering as he strolled after you. 

Originally posted by softlytaejin

Yoongi

Well you were pretty the chill and calm s/o and you knew that if other woman tried to hit on your man that at the end of the day he was coming home with you and not them however this woman right here didn’t know how to stop. She just stayed by his side as if he had some sweet honey stuck to his butt. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as you heard her complimenting Yoongi over and over again. Yeah he was handsome and he had that kind of aura around him that you just had to respect that man but this girl was just downright annoying you plus he wasn’t even planning to leave as he kept talking to the saleswoman.

Putting back the tshirt you were holding, you faced Yoongi as you crossed your arms over your chest and stared at him, waiting until he noticed your eyes burning on his skin and boy he did absolutely feel your stare.

When his eyes locked with yours, you raised your eyebrow and clicked your tongue. Yoongi shot you a nervous smile, quickly cutting of the conversation with the female and made his way over to you. 

‘‘We were just talking.’‘ He said when he stood before you. You just scoffed at that. ‘‘Yeah right. Than why are you mentioning this. I didn’t even say anything. Gosh I can’t believe you like that cheesy stuff. Do you want me to say that to you? I don’t know if I can be that cheesy without getting the chills though.’‘ 

Yoongi hung his head low and you could feel the embarassment radiating from his body. Chuckling, you swung your arm around his waist and lay down your head against his shoulder. ‘’It’s okay sweets. I just don’t like seeing other women trying to steal you away from me.’’ you muttered the last part. your heart clenched at the thought of Yoongi leaving you. 

It seemed he felt your insecurity as he placed his lips against your forehead before pulling you closer.

Originally posted by yoongijae

Hoseok

Oh heck no! You would be shooting this girl looks every second until she couldn’t bare it anymore and leave. You know the J-nope? Well the looks you give are quite similiar to his. The nerve of this girl who just started right out touching your boyfriend while you were standing right next to him had your blood boiling. The other members who were also standing near you, could definitely feel the irritation oozing from you and the eye twitch didn’t really help to calm you down.

‘’Yah!’’ you yelled when the touchy-feely became to much. Hoseok who had been trying to let down that girl gently, jumped when he heard your loud voice. Before he decided to turn his head to you, he gulped knowning already how you were feeling. The grip you had on his arm tightened every time she touched him and well he knew she saw your hand curled around his upper arm but this girl clearly had the nerve to flirt with him right in front of you and his friends.

‘‘Please if you turn around now, I will forget what you just did so you can leave with your dignity still intact. I must say, you’rd one daring woman I will give you that however. Dont. ever. touch. my. man. again.’‘ you finished. stepping closer with every word that left your mouth as you were now standing face to face with her. 

‘‘Oh really? A person can’t belong to another person.’‘ she shot back at you. 

‘‘Ýou’re right. but I’m still the one who is going home with him. And guess what? I have to make sure your traces on his body will be replaced with mine and the only thing that will drip from his lips is my name.’‘ you smirked when you saw the shock in her eyes and couldn’t help but scoff when she dramatically threw her hair over her left shoulder and walked away. 

The others had their mouths hanging open in shock. The cute and innocent y/n… just said that? Well you weren’t one to fight with people but they shouldn’t mess with him. and Hoseok? Hoseok couldn’t be more proud plus the words that you just spat at that girl had him feeling very very excited. Biting his lip, he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him out of the building, ready to put those words into action.

Originally posted by hayoomin

Namjoon

He is a handsome man, Of course there will be women falling for his feet where ever he goes. What can you do about it? That’s right not much. You could show them he is with you but that won’t stop them. So you did what you do best and that was sulking as you sadly sipped your milkshake, watching how the girls behind the counter all had their attention on him. 

You rolled your eyes when you heard them squealing, almost sure Namjoon had just thrown the english into the conversation. 

‘‘Namjoon-ah!’‘ you called his name, having enough with them oggling him. You were alright with a bit of flirting, it’s human nature and well he was great with his words. That’s how he got you. You weren’t really proud how easily you fell for his words but you were glad you did ‘cause he was amazing. He respected you. 

Turning around at the sound of your voice, he send you one of his heartmelting smiles. ‘’I’m coming babe!’’ He responded as he turned around again to say his goodbye’s to the ‘very friendly’ workers. 

Once he slid down next to you in the booth and slung his arm around your shoulders, you shrugged him off, still a bit hurt by his actions. 

‘‘y/n?’‘ he questioned. 

‘‘Could you tone it down a bit next time? I.. I don’t really like you showing of your charms to other women.’‘ you softly confessed while you played with the straw. 

Namjoon eyes widened at that, a slight pain entered his heart. He hit himself on the forehead for being so insensitive towards you. He forgot how it must have looked to you when he was talking to that girl. Quickly grabbing your shoulders he made you face him. 

‘‘I love you and I’m sorry. I would never replace you sweetheart. You’re really really the best that has ever happened to me. I can’t imagine a better girlfriend than you. Your love, your patience, your soft heart… it’s so rare, those girls don’t even come close to you. Can you forgive me? And please don’t hold back. If you don’t like something, just tell me okay?’’

He gazed in your eyes, waiting for an answer.

‘‘Okay.’‘ you nodded and soflty agreed with his words. He just smiled. Gently holding your cheeks, he pecked your lips and pulled you closer to him. 

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Jimin

The cold wind didn’t help to cool you down as you were fuming, stomping your way to the car. He went too far. It wasn’t innocent fanservice anymore. How could Jimin let her do that blew your mind. Hand around her waist? You didn’t mind that but her hand on his butt? Woooaaaa that was… woaaaa. 

Unlocking the car, you threw open the door, jumped in and slammed it close. Sticking the keys into the ignition, you brought the car alive.  Before you could back up and drive away, the door was thrown open. 

‘‘Jimin, fuck off’‘ you said as you tried to close the door again but he didn’t let go.

‘‘No I wont fuck off y/n…. Please it isn’t what you think it is’‘ he sounded desperate but right now you did not care and you couldn’t help but laugh at what he said. ‘‘Come on Jimin. Are we going to play like this?’‘ you finally looked up at him while turning the engine off. ‘‘You let her touch your butt Jimin! It is exactly what it looked like!’‘ 

‘‘No it’s not! Well yes she did but you already walked away when I slapped her hand away! I didn’t like it y/n! I did not!’‘ Jimin pleaded. He fell down on his knee before you, grabbing your hands and held them against his chest. 

You bit your lip when you felt how his heart was beating fast and how his beautiful brown orbs shined with tears. Swallowing your pride, you pried away your hands which caused him to grab them again in panic. ‘’Y/n..’’ his voice cracked and a tear escaped their prison. 

‘‘Jimin, sweety…’‘ you sighed. Climbing out of the car, you also crouched down, now facing him on the same height as you once again took back your hands but before he could snatch them again, you pulled him in your arms, rubbing his back and shushing sweetnothings in his hair. ‘‘I’m sorry.. It’s just that.. It hurts to know that so many people would do everything to just be by your side and I am afraid they will succeed one day thus leaving me behind, shattering my heart. I don’t want to get jealous everytime a fan or a woman walks up to you eventhough I know you’re with me. I mean not all fans are like that, most of them are really sweet and kind but what just happened, I just can’t help the green monster that growls from within. I’m sorry too for reacting so quickly. If I just had waited a couple of seconds.. I can’t say I forgive you since you didn’t do anything wrong so I believe you Jimin. I believe you.’‘

‘‘I love you so, so much y/n. I really really do. I couldn’t even look at another woman, ‘cause you’re the only woman I see. You have my heart.’‘

Originally posted by jiminrolls

Taehyung

‘‘It’s for the music video, It’s for the music video’‘ is what you repeated over and over again, looking at the girl and your boyfriend hugging eachother passionately. ‘‘But they aren’t freaking shooting so why are they hugging eachother huh?!’‘ 

‘‘y/n. please calm down. They’re practicing since the director said they had to because it didn’t look real. ‘‘ Jungkook explained while patting your back. ‘‘Ha! well do they have to hug eachother every second. Look! she pulls him in again!’‘ you wheezed, seeing them in a hug once again. 

‘‘Well we all know how handsome Tae is and… he turns heads everywhere he goes, so I guess this girl is taking her opportunity to be this close to him since she wouldn’t have a reason otherwise. Plus she is confident. She knows she is beautiful’‘ Jungkook told you casually while playing a game on his phone. 

You looked at him shocked. Not believing he told you this so easily. ‘‘Well fuck you Kook. You are really helping, thank you for your opinion. Not!’‘ annoyed you walked away, not wanting to see any skinship with those two and so you shuffeled towards the food table, ready to stuff your mouth. That was one thing you absolutely hated. You always seemed to find comfort in food. Well in every circumstances you always went to food. Stress? Eat. Sad? Eat. Bored? Eat. Annoyed? Eat.

You spat out your food when you suddenly was pushed forward, arms squeezing your tummy tightly. ‘’Baby!’’ Taehyung’s cheerful voice greeted you as he snuggeled you while you were still coughing up bits of food from the sudden shock. Once you calmed down, you turned around and gave him the look. 

‘‘It’s kind of cute you’re jealous. But.. you don’t have to be. It’s just for the music video. I mean yeah she went kind of overboard with the practicing it was getting uncomfortable but it needs to look real on screen ya know. Anyways, you know I like you very very very very much. Besides you’re the one that gets unlimited hugs from me. Not her. This is all for you, I keep it healthy and nice for you.’‘ he finished, wiggling his eyebrows and smirked. Rolling your eyes, you took a muffin from the table and stuffed it into his mouth.

‘‘Now hush. Who even said I was jealous?’‘ you huffed and walked away, trying to hide a smile because hotdamn he was cute. It was hard to stay mad at him.

Originally posted by younas

Jungkook

You weren’t really the type to fight and you never imagined being in a fight but here you were, rolling over the floor with the b*tch who managed to unlock the demon inside of you.

It all started when you were standing with Jungkook at the front door waiting for the other guys to come out, ready to grab some food when suddenly the door near you opened and she walked out. Already feeling irritated you tried to ignore her as she began to talk to Jungkook but once those words slipped from her filfhty mouth you just couldn’t let it slide past you. 

‘‘Say that again. I dare you?’‘ you spoke up, pushing your boyfriend gentle aside so you could see her clearly. She laughed. ‘‘You heard me. I said. Why don’t you dump that whore and come inside.’‘ and she took a step closer. 

‘‘Y/n.. please ignore her.’‘ Jungkook tried to get between you two. 

‘‘Tsssk. You really think you are a whole lot, don’t you? Why don’t you get you a man for yourself and leave mine alone.’‘ you pushed him aside once again, hands itching to show her for once and all she needed to stop. For several weeks she has been trying to get Jungkook in bed with her which was dumb, cause Jungkook is a faithful man with standards. ‘‘Psssshhh I think I can show him a good time since he is getting bored with you. Once he get a taste of me, he wouldn’t leave.’‘ the girl laughed, walking past you, slamming her shoulder into yours and gripped onto Jungkook’s shirt. 

It was done. She has done it. The only thing you saw right now was rage so you balled your fists and smacked her right on her left cheek. She screamed, stumbled backwards and ended up the ground. ‘’Why are you such a b*tch. You don’t take what’s someone else. Didn’t they teach you that? Should I teach you? I really don’t mind teaching you, you don’t fuck with other people relationships.’’ 

‘‘Y/n. Please stop. You know I would never.’‘ Jungkook told you as his hand tried to get yours but the woman on the ground jumped at you, causing you both to fall on the ground. After that everything was a daze. The screaming, the pulling, the other guys who came to see what was happening when they heard the commotion and tried to pry you of off eachother. 


‘‘I can’t believe you fought. For me at that.’‘ Jungkook sat down next to you on the bed, placing the ice pack gently onto your eye. ‘‘I have to admit it was pretty hot. You looked so badass.’‘ you saw him biting your lip and felt his hands fumbling with the clasp of you bra. 

‘‘Not now Jungkook. My eye hurts.’‘ you pouted, letting yourself fall down on the bed. ‘‘But you know, I would never do that to you right? You’re everything I want. I love you.’‘ he whispered, pulling the ice pack away and sofly placed his lips on the soon visible bruise

Originally posted by ultranicolet

His moods were contagious somehow
He’d laugh - and I would feel my entire world light up
And when he’s angry, when he’s hurt or sad - I would feel it in every cell in my body, down to my bones
Like we were connected somehow on some deep intellectual level
I catch myself sometimes wondering if our souls were intertwined in some way
If when we first met, before either of us realised it, his soul and mine recognised each other, and twirled together
Maybe - just maybe this connection went beyond skins and bones
Because it felt like a part of him was fused within me, like he got under my skin, to my heart, and attached himself to the very core of my being
I heard a poet say the other day about how easy it was to write with a mask on, to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, if I hide the words good enough and toss away the keys to this lock, could you still find yourself if it’s so deep inside of my flaws? You love it when people write about you, especially if I’m doing the writing it seems. I don’t write about you much, so here I am. One last poem. And I give your eyes a solid peek with every letter, a silent whisper that says nothing, but if you pay attention to my lips it mouths an I love you each and every time when you catch me staring at you and I look away. I wonder when I see you staring, do you do the same when I turn away my head? I love to write, but you’ll wonder if it’s about you, you, you, you, you or her, her, her, her, her or her. It’s about you. This is about you. You know who you are. In the first conversation we ever had, you asked if my favorite color was red before even getting into my head. And those eyes that peer, that leer, that steer straight into mine, we haven’t met, we have met, we haven’t loved, we have loved, we haven’t fallen, we have fallen, we haven’t fucked, we have fucked, we haven’t broken into, we have broken into, we haven’t written, we have written, we haven’t been, we have been, we haven’t talked, we have talked, we speak for five minutes and I feel like I’ve known you for several lifetimes and attention is such a trickling thing as it falls from my eyes and into yours– we haven’t been anything before these five minutes, but I’ve made love to your every way before we knew, before you knew, before I knew, we were kinda fucked. We made sure to not get too close, we made sure that it never happened, it stays as it stays, it says as it says, and one day, we’ll never be. She says I could never date a writer. And as ironic as it is, we’re both writers, so as enamored and as pulled to one another as we are, we’ll think about it when the sun decides to go for another eternal nap, and when the moon finally decides to give those love letters back with different people holding each cloud up, with separate lovers holding us, we’ll think about it until it hurts. And we’ll do it for the sake of falling in love, the art of the what if’s while you’re young and stupid, it goes like this. You are something that casts more deadly spells than a dark lord’s wand, that bends more trees than the wind during hurricane season, that breaks more often than a sidewalk during the heat of summer love, that admires more deeply than artists comparing themselves to Van Gogh, that swells more quickly than a mosquito bite because you forgot bug spray although it never works because they too find you irresistible from blood type to skin, that itches worse than eating something you’re allergic too, it’s often our favorite foods too, that stretches more than the horizon when the sun asks the moon to come out and play always, always, slow dance to that one song from now on, that sings as beautiful as the Mona Lisa when we try to figure out her smile, that still to this day, I choose to not talk to you because yes it’s true, I’m a little in love with you, and yes it’s true, we won’t ever exist at the same time, too many obstacles and yes it’s true, we live for poetics the modern romantics trying to be antiques inside of a masterpiece, we never knew how to love properly, so we tried to pave way inside of a kaleidoscope– if we ever fell in love, it would be a bad trip, like overdosing on lsd because you thought that you were a cactus and spines started to grow out of you, yeah that kind of fucked up. We would be messed up, but I think in some lowkey happy offset universe, we would’ve been happy about it. She talks to me about poetry like I invented it, the truth is I write to feel something, isn’t that why we do anything? These words have been written before, I’m just following footsteps, I’m just another person trying to write down my wrongs, am I wrong for it? And it was one of those days, some strange scene from an anime when the sun is setting and they’re walking across a metal bridge as friends and he comments on the days that go by without a second thought, and the water is running and she says that you can’t skateboard down slopes because you’d get in trouble, rules were meant to be broken, and if you don’t break them, you can bend them just right. And it’s that kind of day, where bookstores mean more to us than clubs. Neon soul, would you care to stay here as you are for just a little while longer? She speaks about poetry like it’s the only thing that matters. He utters back wildfire spreads wildfire. I don’t know why he said it, but it just felt right, right? And the day will end, but not before you walked us through two art museums and there’s always a juicy secret near the end of us whispering to each other about other people and what they’re up to. In this fairy tale, they don’t fall in love. In this poem, they don’t get together. In this life, they’re just friends. In this heart, they’ll be just two lost souls stuck on a bench, I’m a little tired, I’ll just rest my head on those shoulders, and I must tell you, that you look better without make up. There will a day when this is just a faded gem you’ll find in your brain. There will be a brief moment when you’ll remember those five hours, and it all started because of those five minutes when you asked if we have met before, and I know that I write long pieces with very shitty grammar and not enough elaborate metaphors, but the thing about my writing and why it’s so damn relatable may be because I write with a cold heart that just wants to feel warm, we all need that day. That day, that’ll indefinitely change us in ways that we may not be able to comprehend today, tomorrow or even by next year. A day that explains, a day that demands to be listened to and just like how a chest needs a careful set of ears to listen to its heartbeat, I’m glad that I gave a listen to yours. And maybe I’ll move out of this city where people do the same shit every fucking day and pretend that it’s okay, that this is it. We’ll work until we’re grey, get that 401k go on vacations while we’re fragile with an old passion for pastries, cheap hotels and some famous beach that all of the old people go to. There’s got to be more to life, you mentioned that a few times. This was just a glimpse to what could be with someone else, and I’m always holding onto your hands just a little too tight because I don’t want you to let go and it’s okay because today will end, but not in this memory. In this memory, we’re young forever. In this memory, we’re breaking every rule just a little bit. In this memory, I write down every little detail because I don’t give a fuck. In this memory, I play a slow dance with you until the moon finally explains itself to us in entirety. I’m full because of you, I’m empty because of you. In this memory, the metaphors never run out and the poetry isn’t just about love, it’s not about sadness anymore, it’s about clawing my way out of my thoughts and back into a moment where I’m not so depressed and I’m cracking jokes right next to you all the way down Central Park and in this memory, there’s a small chance that you could’ve been more than just someone who showed my heart around New Orleans. In this memory, I remember you as my pretty crimson. And if this memory shall ever fade, I’ll fade with it too because the more we write, the more we are, if I am what I eat and I am what I do, I’ll eat the yellow paint and write until it’s dark and if I’m ever blind and no longer the person that I was when I walked across that bridge with you– at least it’s an ending that I can dwell on. Poets write poetry, clouds use rain as a disguise, but this writer is just wearing another mask and tomorrow isn’t any different. I am the wildfire, and I’ll spread in many directions. I just hope that we never burn down together and if we do, that wouldn’t be so bad, right?