is perhaps one of the biggest enigmas existing in the world.
how does on define the coming and going of existence? Why is there such a need
to take the state of simply being and define it as a comprehensible concept? How
is it possible that we have taken something that is limitless and have
restrained it to boundaries of words such as decades, years, minutes?
more curiously is perhaps the fact that emotions impact time.
time in its pure essence – where an hour is sixty minutes and a minute is sixty
seconds – but in the way how one experiences time.
how can it be that sometimes a year is too short, feels like just a blink of an
eye while some moments seem to last an eternity?
Jim’s life, there are many moments that have since past that he wishes had
young, unburdened and free, running down the fields with the grass tickling his
toes, Daisy at his heels with the wind rustling through his
hair and laughter falling freely from his lips.
when he was eleven, sitting at grandma Kirk’s feet with Sam and completely
enraptured by the photos and stories she shared about their dad, his mother
watching them fondly yet with sadness in her eyes.
dragging him down to humid but beautiful Georgia for a week on a well-deserved
break during their second year at the Academy, having bourbon on the patio
while Mamma McCoy bakes cobblers in the kitchen and Joanna runs amok in the
are good memories, treasured moments that Jim wishes could’ve lasted a
instead what seems to last a lifetime are the moments which he wishes he could
just forget about. Those moments that make him want to take the concept that is
time itself and turn it back.
years old and clinging to Sam’s arm watching as grandma Kirk’s casket is
lowered down into a grave on the family grounds, the sun bright and the sky
clear in an almost mocking gesture.
from being dead only to learn he’s lost the only father figure he’s ever had,
remembering kind words, honest advice and how he’s never said “dad” and that
now he never will either.
love you” spilling from his lips, tilting what feels like his entire universe
on its axis.
time can not be reversed, memories not be forgotten and emotions can not be unfelt.
swallow, ignore the ticking of the clock that dictates time and move on.
at least, he tries.
fate will not let him.
one day over lunch Leonard asks: “Do you ever wish you hadn’t said it?” His eyes
down on his plate and eyebrows drawn together into a frown.
heart clenches and somewhere in the back of his mind, part of him weeps. “I
can’t turn back time, Bones.”
guarded, careful, Leonard looks up. “What if you could?” His voice is a mere
whisper yet it’s all Jim hears despite the bustle of the canteen around them.
you wish I hadn’t said it?” Jim asks, his voice shaking and the words like
I do not making it past his
don’t know.” Leonard says, confused.
looks at him, then.
the war waging just behind Leonard’s eyes. At the half-smile
half-frown that is both fond and affectionate yet fearful and hesitant at the
thinks of rivers of rain running through muddy sand, of little specks of green
and of hope.
Jim thinks that perhaps, he doesn’t want to turn back time after all.
“As you lie on your back, it is natural to assume that you are looking up at the stars, but “up” is just a cultural construct. Neither Earth nor the Milky Way have an up or a down. Indeed, when you stand on Earth’s surface, you are not standing up; rather, you are sticking out into space.
So, as you lie on your back, instead of thinking of yourself as looking up, picture it so that you are on the underside of Earth looking down into the blackness of the night sky. It may take a while, but eventually you will experience all the stars as way down there below you; and you will be surprised that you are not falling down there to join them.
You don’t fall because Earth’s gravitational pull holds you. It is not your weight, but the Earth’s hold that suspends you above the stars. If Earth’s gravitational embrace were to suddenly vanish, you would descend into the dark chasm of stars below.
As you lie there feeling yourself hovering within this gravitational bond while peering down at the billions of stars drifting in the infinite chasm of space, you will have entered an experience of the universe that is not just human and not just biological.
You will have entered a relationship from a galactic perspective, becoming for a moment a part of the Milky Way Galaxy experiencing what it is like to be the Milky Way Galaxy.”
- Excerpt from Developing Ecological Consciousness: The End of Separation by Christopher Uhl