With the reactions post-Storm in the Room, I feel that Steven doesn’t get enough credit. Going to Rose’s Room, searching for answers, and comfort even though he didn’t know that yet, Steven wasn’t setting out to create a perfect mother or project himself the ideal version of Rose. He starts, the moment he enters the room, by saying he knew it wasn’t real.
Everything Steven did with Cloud Rose, everything that happened between them, were reasonable assumptions we could make of Rose. And this is because the Rose we saw was from Steven’s expectations of what she would be like. And Steven was wary about idealising Rose the way the Crystal Gems did. He says this explicitly several times. Also, Steven’s view of Rose was tempered early on by Greg’s stories of her.
So the Rose we see isn’t a sad Steven’s attempt at finding the perfect mother figure. Steven’s attempt at a reasonable and believable portrayal of Rose deserves to be acknowledged. Had it not been the case, the Rose we saw could not have evoked the feelings she did. It’s because of the depth Steven introduced to her from all his memories of her that it was made possible.
And what I want to talk about in this post, is how the images of Rose reflect which narratives he’s channeling as he tries to piece together, quite literally, the image of Rose.
The first appearance of Cloud Rose shows her with messy hair, parts of it stick up and around her. Her facial expressions are often wiggly, for lack of better word, and she shows her thighs a lot more than in the succeeding scenes, either in cross-sitting or running.
This Rose is goofy and funny and casual. And it’s the Rose whom Greg’s stories have constructed in Steven’s memories.
The same scenes we see Rose hitch up her dress in the same way (such as when she’s reading books with Greg on the bed) or similarly goofy, like stopping a ferris wheel with her bare hands, she’s with Greg.
Even the line Steven takes from her video in Lion 3: Straight to Video, about “every X being unique and beautiful” is shot in Greg’s presence. Without realising it, Steven is remembering this image of Rose.
And she cares about Steven. She engages in his interests. It’s not so far a stretch because some episodes back, Bismuth was willing to do the same thing. Rose was a fun person. There’s a running joke that she would have loved cheesy and corny jokes. She probably told a few in her day.
She probably wasn’t always as poised as presented in her portrait. Greg remembers the Rose he changed, when she was starting to understand human beings in earnest and come to terms with how they could exist with gems on the same level.
Rose at that point still didn’t want to talk about her past, and Greg never made her. So Greg and Rose made new memories and didn’t dwell on the old. And those memories were filled with fun and laughter and love.
The moment sobers when it is Rose not Steven, who gestures the latter to sit down and stare at the expanse of clouds.
And we should know that what we’re about to see means something has changed. The first hint is that Rose’s body language changes. She sits perfectly straight, even though she’s cross-sitting the way she was earlier. And we don’t see her legs anymore. Her hair neatens and her expression calms.
What’s more, her hands assume the position Garnet did in Here Comes A Thought in Mindful Education. And that emphasises the kind of role Rose plays in this moment. Steven felt Rose taught Garnet how to manage her feelings, because it was a motherly thing to do. In a very Steven Universe fashion, the music changes from the bright xylophone to a quiet piano music, which is the mark of another Crystal Gem, Pearl.
And when we go back to the senior Crystal Gems and their image of Rose, it is exactly the way she’s presented.
Cloud Rose is a huge presence, with Steven a small child by her side. She speaks deliberately, every word is one of wisdom. She is magnanimous and comforting at the same time.
She tells him, “But we’ve been together the entire time.” And it brings back the idea of how our parents are always with us, and a part of us, because one way or another they’ve left a mark on us.
At the same time though, the similarities of the scenes between this moment and the one at Rose’s Fountain in An Indirect Kiss, lead to the same end.
Rose is viewed as a godly icon, very distant from Steven. She’s not sitting beside him, playing with him, kneeling on the ground anymore. He looks up to her, and he can’t reach her.
In both times, he realises she’s not really there. That he talked to the statue of Rose in the fountain, confided his deepest insecurities about how he didn’t know how to feel about her when everyone else did, parallels the empty image on his phone.
And it segues into the next scene perfectly.
Because Steven doesn’t know how to feel about Rose. Now, he’s more certain than ever that he doesn’t even know who she is. The Rose we see at the end has a blank face, because Steven can’t project anything on it. He’s thinking of Pink Diamond’s shattering, Bismuth, and the Rebellion, and all the people hurt by them.
When he sees Rose, he can no longer see himself, which is why her eyes, one of the facial features most like Steven’s, (next to his nose) are nowhere to be seen.
And this Rose is distant, because there’s no mitigating narrative linking him to her. In the other scenes, the room remained the same, because these stories he was told of Rose and who she was firmly rooted the first two Roses as part of the real Rose’s identity.
This Rose is foreign, because nowhere in those narratives did Steven think it possible to for her to do the things he learned she did.
And in that moment he begins to doubt.
Because he can no longer see the image of his mother, he doesn’t know where he himself stands. A huge part of his identity is being Rose’s son. What happens when the “Rose” part becomes fuzzy, blurry, and unintelligible?
What happens to the Steven?
Notice that this Rose is silent. She offers no response to the accusations Steven hurls at her, about all the people she hurt and her act of leaving them all behind.
At this point, we see the part of Steven that understands Rose is gone. That he’s never going to get these answers and there won’t be an explanation coming from her.
There are some things he’ll never get to hear about, some memories he’ll never know, some experiences he’ll never share with her.
And it’s sad and disheartening and lonely. In losing his idea of Rose, Steven loses a part of his identity. Such that he felt it would be better if he denounced Rose, cutting off the part of himself he didn’t want to think about: That he was created just to fix her mistakes.
It’s then that we see Rose’s face for the first time since we’ve entered the paradigm of Rose-through-Steven’s eyes. Not Greg’s, not the Crystal Gem’s. Because these new things he’s learned about Rose are things the others would never have known without him. How else would they have heard the Diamond’s song of mourning? How would they have known Bismuth was there all along?
And the things Rose said in the tape were meant for Steven, in a space only Steven could find.
The Rose speaking to Steven at the end is the Rose who’s already spoken to Steven directly before, through the tape.
A lot of negative reaction has been given to this moment, because it feels as though the tape absolves Rose of everything she’s done. It doesn’t and I don’t feel that was the point.
The point of her saying that, was to reaffirm Steven’s belief in Steven. To show that it wasn’t about Rose anymore, that Steven’s birth wasn’t about Rose but about him.
And it’s striking that’s the only time we see her face again. Because immediately after, Steven hugs her, and her face is obscured.
That’s Steven’s recognition that he’s never going to hear any other words straight from his mother for him. He understands and he realises that nonetheless, Rose is exerting a presence in his life. He really is always with her and never alone.
The past few episodes and everything leading up to them were about Steven’s realising his mother was still an individual, one who could made mistakes and rash, selfish decisions.
He was afraid that upon realising his mother could be a selfish individual, could do huge selfish things that affected thousands of lives, he feared the act of his birth, the most personal thing about him, was meant to serve her self-interests alone too. He needed a concrete and tangible answer, which was what prompted him to go to the room.
At the end of the episode, he didn’t think that anymore. He knows he has a lot of work ahead in figuring out Rose’s place in his life, but the lingering doubt of the very foundation of his existence is gone.
And because of that, he finally feels comfortable letting her go.
She is a little fireball of delight, laughter, noise, and excitement. This little treasure is loud, excited, fun… and you know when she is quiet she is up to no good. She has a bit of a temper, so whatever you do, do not put her in a cage. She needs freedom to fly. When she gets mad, her wings set alight. Her pixie dust is blood red. You will likely come home to a messy house, she loves getting into everything
👗 TAURUS PIXIE ~
She is a little earth princess and she will enjoy as much time as possible out in your garden to dance amongst the flowers. She makes music when she flies and will be found getting into your make up and beauty products. She would love a home filled with candles and fragrance. And the little pixie loves cookies. She loves to relax with you on your days off. Get her a hammock to sleep in so she can hang it between two sunflowers
🍒 GEMINI PIXIE ~
She is a playful and mischievous little pixie who is here in a moment and vanishes in the next. She is a clever creature who will be found flittering amongst your bookshelf and tip toeing through the encyclopedia. She will help you with your homework and enjoys going to school with you, hiding in your pencil case and listening in on the learning. She knows how to make you laugh and giggles as she flies. Her pixie dust is the colour of teal
🌙 CANCER PIXIE ~
This cuddly little pixie is a delicate delight who loves cosying up underneath your blankets and sleeping most of the time. She prefers to stay indoors and likes to flitter around your photographs. When she cries, she sprays a lilac perfume, but her laughter is a melody, and she is happiest when surrounded by your whole family. She has a way with babies and likes to sit on their nose and play. This little pixie needs a lot of affection and to be reminded she is safe and loved. She really fears being abandoned. Her pixie dust is the colour of light purple
🎀 LEO PIXIE ~
She is very playful, a flittery childlike pixie who requires lots of love, kisses and cuddles. She will become fiercely protective of you in times of danger. She will lose her sunlight without adequate devotion and affection. She has a bright yellow aura and glows in the dark. She may be found rummaging around in your precious jewellery. Her pixie dust is the colour of the gold. She will love playing with your pets and giggle her heart out around children. You will need to remind her everyday how beautiful she is
💭 VIRGO PIXIE ~
This flowery little pixie petal is very clever and loves nature. She will need lots of time outside amongst the wildlife and also loves cosying up with a book. She is a very talented pix and fixes anything you have broken. She also has a great knowledge of medicine and will be of tremendous help when you get ill. She needs a lot of reassurance because sometimes her anxiety can get the best of her. Better for somebody who likes to keep their room very tidy. Her pixie dust is the colour of lime green
💋 LIBRA PIXIE ~
This precious little pixie is charming, cute, and very friendly. She will need somebody by her side at most times and may get scared or sad when she is left alone for too long. She will be found getting amongst your make up, beauty products, and she loves to be read to - especially Disney fairytales. She makes beautiful sweet music whenever she flies. Her best friend is Cupid. Her pixie dust is bright fuchsia
🦇 SCORPIO PIXIE ~
She is a solitary and moody pixie who needs a lot of alone time and space to fly away into her own world. She will be a lifelong healer and devotee to those who love and respect her, and she will teach you more about the hidden secrets and magic of the universe than any other! She may be found flittering away in your journals or secret safes and enjoys heirlooms. She will also enjoy the night and prefer to stay awake in the dark. She likes to sit near crystals. Her pixie dust is bright purple.
🍓 SAGITTARIUS PIXIE ~
She is a fun, frivolous, and funny pixie who enjoys traveling with you and sleeping on a globe. She loves to tip toe along the countries in the atlas and enjoys watching documentaries with you. She needs a lot of freedom to fly and flitter amongst flowers and nature. Good for a person who has a puppy - she loves dogs. Perfect for a frequent traveler or a backpacker. She knows a few different languages. Her pixie dust is the orange of Jupiter. She is a lucky charm
🦄 CAPRICORN PIXIE
She is a dainty little creature who likes to keep busy and occupied. She would prefer a home that is in order and will be found sitting on the edge of the clock hands bouncing as the minutes tick by. She will help you with your homework and always stay up later than you so you are protected while you sleep. She likes to think herself as your parent. And take her out in the snow.. she is a snow angel. She has a halo ring around her like the rings of Saturn. Her pixie dust is sparkly silver
🌈AQUARIUS PIXIE ~
She is a clever little creature who enjoys swimming in chemistry sets and flittering around your textbooks. She likes the warmth of the laptop and likes to sit on top of your iPhone. She has a great knowledge of the world and can answer anything you inquire. The pixie has trouble sleeping and has some strange domestic habits. You’ll never have to use power again - she has her own electricity. Her pixie dust is baby blue
🐚 PISCES PIXIE ~
She is a water baby pixie who needs frequent time around the ocean and see her mermaid friends. She will frequently go missing flying in the direction of her daydreams but bring back a well of mystical and enchanting stories. Lots of love and reassurance required. She sleeps often and will often be found in slumber under your pillow. Her pixie dust is lilac and turquoise. When she flies, you can hear the sound of harps. If you can’t find her - check her bed
Killian Jones, the person who knows and understands Emma Swan better than ANYBODY ELSE, knew she would react the exact way that she did. He understands what his ‘leaving’ would do to her. How it would hit her and what she would do (remember how he asked her not to put her armor back on when she was leaving him in the Underworld? He KNOWS her).
Killian Jones isn’t thinking less of Emma, and I don’t think it’s fair for anybody else to do so either.
The High Lords (+ High Lady) of Prythian: Solar Courts
“There are different kinds of darkness,” Rhys said. I kept my eyes shut. “There is the darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful.” I pictured each. “There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good.”
His brown skin and hair were kissed with gold, as if the sunrise had permanently gilded them, but his upswept eyes, rich brown of freshly tilled fields, were his lovliest feature.
My equal in every way. She would wear my crown, sit on a throne beside mine. Never sidelined, never designated to breeding and parties and child-rearing. My queen.
Spell-Cleaver. That was his title. She surveyed him with her usual disdain. But Helion gave her the same bow he’d offered me—though his smile was edged with enough sensuality that even my heart raced a bit. No wonder the Lady of Autumn hadn’t stood a chance.
“She is my mate. And my spy,’ I said too quietly. ‘And she is the High Lady of the Night Court.’ 'What?’ Mor whsipered. I caressed a mental finger down that bond now hidden deep, deep within us, and said, 'If they had removed her other glove, they would have seen a second tatoo on her right arm. The twin to the other. Inked last night, when we crept out, found a priestess, and I swore her in as my High Lady.’ (…) 'Not consort, not wife. Feyre is High Lady of the Night Court.’ My equal in every way; she would wear my crown, sit on a throne beside mine. Never sidelined, never designated to breeding and parties and child rearing. My queen.”
Alex dies first, when she’s about 70 or so. It’s sudden and it’s painful and it makes Kara feel like she’ll never be able to breathe properly again. But she manages to pull herself together, for Maggie’s sake. Because the pain Kara feels, Maggie feels it, too.
Maggie’s also 70, but in perfect health, and forced to live in a house by herself. Her and Alex never had children (Kara was enough of a handful), and the small home she built with Alex has never felt bigger or more empty.
So Kara moves in, despite the fact that it’s a longer commute to work, despite the fact she still looks like she’s 35 and doesn’t really have to live with a 70 year old. But Maggie’s a young 70. She gardens and she volunteers and she’s in all sorts of clubs that her and Kara bond over. They talk about Alex constantly, the way her voice sounded, how being in her arms felt like home, how she’d probably laugh at them now and call them Grey Gardens. They miss her, but they miss her together. And sometimes, it feels like Alex is in the room, manifested in the love they feel for her.
Before Kara knows it, Maggie’s 87 and her dementia is worsening. Kara has no option but to put her in a nursing home. It takes weeks and weeks of research, but she finds a nice, quiet place where the staff are gentle and always smiling. And the staff, they love Kara. They tell her constantly how amazing she is, visiting her ‘mother’ every day for hours and hours at a time.
Slowly but surely, Maggie stops remembering Kara. She lights up whenever she sees her, but always needs to ask her name. It hurts Kara more than she ever thought it would, but she still comes back day after day.
Because whenever Kara sees her, Maggie tells stories about a woman she thinks she once knew, a woman with bright shining eyes and a smile that could save the world, a woman who was brave and funny and who loved her sister more than anything. Kara never grows tired of Maggie’s stories.
Just before her 95th birthday, Maggie takes a turn. The nurses tell Kara to prepare for the worst, that it could be days or weeks, and so Kara sits by Maggie’s side for a week and two days, not once leaving the nursing home (the nurses agreed to look the other way). She sits by Maggie’s side and she holds her hand until Maggie takes her last breaths. She doesn’t leave the room until the nurses escort her out.
And it’s only then, once Maggie’s finally gone, that Kara feels like she’s truly lost Alex. She’s lost her sister. She’s lost her best friend. She knows it’s time.
Kara goes to the DEO and informs them of a safety deposit box hidden in one of the back rooms. They retrieve it, and inside there’s a vial of liquid kryptonite, a sedative, and a will filled with instructions on what is to happen next.
She passes quietly, peacefully, on her own terms, having lived a fulfilling life. She’s laid to rest as Kara Danvers, right beside her sister, a red cape draped over her coffin, her family’s insignia on her tombstone.
And while the world mourns Supergirl, nobody mourns Kara Danvers. Because the two people who loved her the most are finally reunited with her, somewhere among the stars.
A/N: i was forced at gunpoint tonight to write a s4 drabble about bellarke realizing how the other feels about them. Rated T. WC: 1455.
Somehow, quiet is always around Bellamy. It’s like he wears it on his shoulders, along with all the pain and hurt and guilt. She doesn’t know if he’s even aware he projects it. All she knows is when she’s sitting with him like she is tonight, sorting meat packages into piles for storage for Alpha Station’s five years weathering out the storm, everything just feels calmer.
“Pass me the checklist,” Bellamy rumbles, nudging her hand with his. It’s the first thing either of them have said for the past half hour.
She obliges, and he squints at it.
“We’ve got to sort those.” He points. Clarke glances around. “Into different kinds of meat. We forgot to do that.”
“Then we have to do it again,” she exhales, and rakes a hand through her hair, nails digging into her own scalp. That will take another twenty minutes at least. Heavy frustration washes over her in a wave. There’s too much to do. Too many small details to iron out. “There’s not enough time.”
She hears him taking a deep breath— it’s no secret that they’re both counting down the minutes. But when he speaks, his voice is even. “There’ll be plenty of time soon enough. Five years, to be exact.”
She looks up, finds him watching her, dark eyes unreadable, and nods, her throat still feeling tight.
They resume sorting, but this time, it’s his shoulders that are drawn tight, and Clarke feels terrible right then for reminding him how little time they had, as if he weren’t already thinking about it every moment of the day. She scrambles for something to say to distract him. “What do you think you’ll do?”
Bellamy looks up, quirks up a brow.
She clarifies. “What do you think you’ll do with those five years?”
“As they were building that library in that school’s gym, they built a rehearsal space for us. It was really an empty room taped out with the same dimensions of the library. And they had the tables all there. And he [John Hughes] had us sitting at the same table. All of us. And I was like, “I don’t want to sit with them.” And he was like, “What do you mean?” And I go, “I do not want to sit with them, you know?” And he goes, “Where do you want to sit?” And I knew from the script that I come in after [Anthony] Michael [Hall], so I go, “Wherever he sits, that’s the seat I want.” And he smiled and he looked at Michael, and he went, “Is that okay with you?” Michael went, “Fine.” And [Hughes] just went, “Okay.” And then Ally [Sheedy] said, “I don’t want to sit with them.” And he went, “Where do you want to sit?” And she goes, “Way in the back.” He says, “Fine.” And Emilio says, “Well, I’ll sit with Molly.” And we were like, “Yeah, of course you will.” And the rehearsal had already begun.”
— Judd Nelson for A.V. Club (2016)
Nervous fingers drummed on the leather steering wheel as the thunder roared, grey clouds covering the bright California sun. Beacon Hills was due for a storm within the next couple days, but it seemed to be coming sooner than forecasted by the meteorologist on the nine o'clock news. Her car sped down the road to the high school, having gotten a cryptic message from none other than Theo Raeken. Theo was her lab partner for a science project and they would meet up at the school’s library when they worked together even if her boyfriend, Stiles Stilinski wasn’t a fan of the new addition to the small town they lived in.
Stiles was the only one who didn’t particularly trust Theo and it got on everyone’s nerves just a little bit. He’d never been as trusting as everyone else in the pack, even though some of them would have their doubts about people. Although, Stiles was a totally different story. He didn’t like anyone, he seemed to think the whole world was against him. It would take awhile for him to warm up meeting new people.
Earlier that day, a note was in her locker. Messy handwriting that she vaguely remembered was scribbled on the fold paper, her name in black ink. She unfolded the paper and read the message: