the way leo says the quote is just the best thing

The Signs as Quotes from Monster Factory:  Mass Effect 2

Aries: Hey, let’s go have a Jupiter make-out! I need to find a kiss partner, where are ya hidin’?
Taurus: This is way off the grid, right? (Oh, dude, we have so– I have broken the factory warranty on Truck Shepard!) Truck Shepard’s body could not be returned to Best Buy! (They will not give me store credit, even.)
Gemini: It’s like– the movie The Fly, if instead of… a fly in the chamber, with Jeff Goldblum, it was, like, a big bowl of pasta salad or something.
Cancer: Do you think this was what Bioware intended? (Um… for you to download third-party software and then–) And hack this thing into it– (And then grab the bones of their protagonist and just sorta do a quick hand-jive inside of their faceskin?)
Leo: (Griffin saying holy shit with varying degrees of distress for 30 full seconds)
Virgo: I see you’re drinking from a cup. I’ve never done that. My fluid is sent to me in special bags. By a space company, for special faces. (I have to pay them seven-hundred of my eight-hundred spacebuck paycheck every month–) Just for ten punch bags. Those are bags filled with punch for special faces. (In Earthen times, they were called Capri Suns. You could buy them for three dollars.) Now they’re called Special Face Life Bags. They are a nutrient slurry. You do not puncture them with straws, but with your ear-teeth. I taste with my skin.
Libra: It’s like a gashapon! Only it’s a guy’s face!
Scorpio: He can’t be killed! (Oh my god! He’s unkillable!) Griffin, he’s gonna jump through the computer screen and kill you! (Don’t– Don’t even joke about that! They are gonna– they are gonna find my body in the morning underneath a dreamcatcher.)
Sagittarius: Look, I can save you! Grab my chin, grab my lips, nooo! I can taste you!
Capricorn: Listen, Wilson was responsible for your reconstruction. He knows exactly what you did. Giving you six discrete facial dorsal fins.
Aquarius: I am still a work-in-progress, God’s still figuring me out!
Pisces: If HP Lovecraft saw this right now, he would shit his pants to death! (It looks like Stephen King’s dick exploded! It looks like Wes Craven took a dump into a box fan!)

If I had to give advice to each sign, I would say this:
  • Aries: Things will not and cannot go your way all the time. You must accept the things you cannot change.
  • Taurus: There are times you must leave your comfort zone and become vulnerable. This will help you grow.
  • Gemini: Sometimes you got to just slow down, to stop thinking for a moment. Don't let life pass you by.
  • Cancer: You must stop reliving the past. You must forgive the people who have left. You must let go.
  • Leo: What others think of you is irrelevant. Ask yourself: Are you truly the best "you" that you can be?
  • Virgo: Relax. You can get it done tomorrow, or the next day. It's important to give yourself a break.
  • Libra: Don't allow others to define who you are. So what if you lost a friend or a lover? You still have you.
  • Scorpio: Let go of your perception of control; it isn't real. Bad things happen, people get hurt. We heal.
  • Sagittarius: You can find the answers you're searching for within, if only you'd stop running from them.
  • Capricorn: People forget that you, too, need help sometimes. Don't be afraid to let your guard down.
  • Aquarius: You already know it's okay to be different, but you need to know it's also okay to be the same.
  • Pisces: Find your God, whether that be in art or spirituality. Trust that energy to help guide you forward.
The Signs As Anime Quotes

 Aries- I am strong. Stronger than all of you. Extremely strong. I can kill all the titans out there. Even if I am alone.

-Mikasa Ackerman


Taurus- You think you’re special? You’re not. Everyone is the same! Everyone lies. Everyone hides things. No one makes it through this life being completely honest. 

-Izaya Orihara


Gemini- Knowledge and awareness are vague, and perhaps better called illusions. Everyone lives within their own subjective interpretation..

-Itachi Uchiha


Cancer- Forget what hurt you in the past! However, never forget what it taught you!

-Lucy Heartfilia


Leo- I told you…from now on I’m betting everything too! I’m putting my life on the line!

-Tsunade Senju


Virgo- I don’t know what to say. Now, I think it’s best to just observe closely.

Nate River


Libra- If you don’t like your destiny, don’t accept it. Instead, have the courage to change it the way you want it to be!

-Naruto Uzumaki


Scorpio- Risking your life and doing something that could easily rob you of your life are exact opposites. 

- L Lawliet


Sagittarius- We are like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let’s not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine forever.

-Toshiro Hitsugaya


Capricorn- I love only myself, I fight solely for myself.

-Sabaku No Gaara


Aquarius- You’re trying to stay unscarred, aren’t you? If you’ve come this far, you’ll have to hurt someone. The more time you take to decide, the deeper and more it’ll hurt. For all of you.

-Sunohara Youhei 


Pisces- I pray that you’ll be the blossom of hope that never wilts.

-Konan