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The First - Alfie Solomons

When you first find out you’re pregnant with Kit, Alfie doesn’t take the news of becoming a father as well as you had hoped.

The First - Alfie Solomons | part of the Kit Series

The fight had been monumental. Before the fight everything between you and Alfie had been easy. You would spend whole weekends up in his bed, enjoying each other’s company. Nothing was ever too serious. You shied away from talk of futures or expectations. You went about your business during the week and carved out time but only in a way that didn’t make it feel like you were sacrificing your own free time for him. He did the same, leaving work early on days he knew you would be over and going in late when he could. He thought about all the important things, like marriage and children, but he knew who he was. Alfie couldn’t fool himself into thinking that family was something he would ever have or deserve.  

Maybe that was why he was so angry at you. It was the first time you every heard him yell. When you came in his office at lunch and told him you had important news. You were going to have a child.

“No, absolutely not.” Alfie had shook his head at the news, “must be someone else’s.”  

“It is not someone else’s Alfie!” You were furious at the suggestion that you had slept with someone else while you were with him.  

“It’s not mine! Fuck…that thing is not mine right? It can’t be. You must’ve been whoring around cause there’s no fucking way.”

“Except I wasn’t whoring around. It’s your child.” You replied.

In truth, the thought of having a child that was half of you and half of him made his heart feel like it was doing flips in his chest. But it wasn’t a feeling that he was familiar with, or that he liked, so he pushed it away. He told himself he couldn’t be that lucky, to find you and then to have a child as well. So he rejected the idea as vocally as possible.  

“No fucking way.” Alfie opened the door to his office and looked out onto the floor, “Ollie!”

The young man came hurrying over, stopping in front of Alfie. He glanced over his boss’ shoulder to look at you briefly but looked away quickly when you wouldn’t meet his eyes.  

“Right, give her some money Ol.”

“Fuck you Alfie! I’m not taking your money and I’m sure as hell not getting rid of this baby. When you decide to man up and come around then you know where to find me. Otherwise I’ll go. You obviously want no part in this and I know when I’m not wanted.” You replied, smacking Ollie’s hand when he tried to offer you money.  

You stormed out of Alfie’s office. For a few weeks you heard nothing from him. He didn’t try to contact you and you stayed away from his home. Until, after what felt like years of silence, he came around late one night. The pounding on the door to your rooms startled you awake and you quickly got dressed.  

“Whose there?” You called, hand reaching for the gun that Alfie made you keep on the side table.  

“It’s me love, open up.” Alfie, who sounded very drunk, called through the door.

“No, Alfie, I told you I don’t want to talk to you.” You answered.  

“Come on, just let me in, I’m sorry right? I was just taken by surprise.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you were! I told you I was pregnant and you offered me money to get rid of it.” You called. You leaned against the door, pressing the side of your forehead on the wood.  

“I don’t wanna do this in the hallway love, let me in.”

“No!”

“Fine!” He shouted, “fucking hell you’re stubborn. I’m sorry that I told you that and said it wasn’t mine. You’ve got to understand love,”

“Understand?” You stood up straight and opened the door, just so you could see his face when you yelled at him, “how’s this for understanding? I’m fucking carrying a child and it’s yours and, as you can imagine being that I’ve never been pregnant before I was scared and I was thinking that I could talk to you. Instead I get fucking accused of being a whore and sleeping with other men? Who Alfie? Ollie? Was I sleeping with Ollie?”  

“I know what I said love and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of said that to you. I never thought I’d have this,” he stated, gesturing between the two of you, “I’m not good with words love.”

“You were plenty good with them when you were yelling at me Alfie. I know this isn’t something we talked about wanting-”

“I want it though, right.” Alfie stated, cutting you off. He had known weeks ago that he wanted a baby with you and he’d made the mistake of pushing you away.  

“I’m really angry with you Alf, you said awful things to me.”

“And I’m sorry.”  

“I know,” you placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned forward slightly to kiss his cheek. “I know you’re sorry but it’s gonna take me some time before I forgive you.”  

Alfie nodded. He frowned when he realized what you were asking. “I’ll go.”  

You followed Alfie to the staircase and watched him walk toward the door. You wanted to invite him back upstairs but you knew you couldn’t. What he’d said hurt you and he needed to understand that. You thought maybe you’d start slow, lunch at his office tomorrow.


This is like a prequel to Kit being born and I wrote it solely to show the difference between the second pregnancy and the first. 

This is what family should be

Not sure if I’m going to keep this up or take this down (pending on Jamie’s agreement and Ed’s comfort level with this) but I had to write it down - the images I got were so powerful and I apologise for not putting that level of detail in but I just wanted to get everything on paper - i hope you could still imagine the warmth and the genuineness and the love and care that had been felt… all the things I wish I’d had at difficult family times

Ollie’s love for his family is so symbolic to me in so many ways… I hope their little unit stays strong forever - I’d love to raise a family with as much love and kindness and trust as they have - I absolutely adore the way their little family unit works 

___

Keep reading

Possible suggestion?

Hopefully my spacing can help with the long post!

I was reading your tags looking for stuff on RSD and the post on “increasing self esteem” was super helpful. Thanks so much!


I’ve had a particular bad run of it the past fortnight because of other people. Personally, RSD is the worst thing with ADHD because everything else I can usually laugh about. (At least with similar folk)

My suggestion is kind of like an expanded ‘Terrific Tuesday.’ Maybe I should run my own blog on it but who knows if I’d ever get round to it lol. It also might not work the way I want if initially I don’t have many followers.

People could submit achievements and positive characteristics about themselves particularly when they’re feeling at their worst about themselves and people can respond positively and hopefully pull that person from the RSD episode a bit.


It’s easy to submit stuff when you feel good about yourself, but in the midst of RSD it feels impossible and sometimes a little bit of validation can help. It would be specifically for people who have this issue as I think to extend it generally means people might big themselves up a bit too much or something and end up hurting other people’s feelings.

Thoughts?


What do you all think about this? I’m happy to put through posts like this if it would be helpful. Just looking for input.

-J

So, serious talk.

How is anyone supposed to both have a full time job and be a solo 1d fan?

Like… how?

How?

anonymous asked:

Your swan story just made me think "What if a tiny 4'11 woman saw a transformed swan and was basically all 'please make me ripped too' and ended up building a house by the lake to be with her swan buds. And people keep passing by and thinking she's a swan in human form, and are not prepared for her friends when their wrong"

(I love this idea! I’m trying this new thing where I don’t write 5,000 words and don’t post because it doesn’t have an ending lol. So here’s a short one!)


“I’ll make her my wife!” Samuel declares, slamming his tankard on the bar. The men and women around him groan, but it’s his best friend Otis that speaks.

“You’ve said that everyday for the past week,” Otis says. “Maybe try talking to her first, huh?”

Samuel shakes his head so hard that his hair, tied up with a scrap of leather, comes undone. “We don’t need words. Our eyes met across the lake. The sun lit up her verdant eyes and–”

We fell in love instantly,” the pub choruses. The ladies in the back all take a shot, giggling at their incomprehensible game.

Samuel continues doggedly. “My mother married a frog, and I will marry myself a swan. Fairy tales run in my family, mate, you’ll see.”

“Sure, you drunk bastard,” Otis says and buys him another pint.

Samuel decides that tomorrow, tomorrow he’ll show them all.

——————————————————

“Good morning,” he calls from the fence line. He swipes his hat from his hand as the young woman turns and tries not to show his nerves. “L-lovely day we’re having, no?”

The young woman blinks at him. She’s small, thin arms and dainty feet with a long, lovely neck. This makes sense, of course, seeing that she is a swan in human form.

Samuel knows that at any moment, his love will invite him in, glad to finally have an excuse to be in his presence just as he is glad to be in hers. It is good that he knows this because the blood is pounding in his ears and he can hardly hear a thing over the thunder of his own heart.

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On love: Agape

Ok, first of all, I don’t know any Latin - this translation of the lyrics was done by @littlechubbyyuuri​ that I found here

I’d been looking for the lyrics + translation for quite a while, so I was really happy when I finally found them. I thought it would give me some major insight into Yuri’s character, since lyrics in YoI never seem to be picked at random.

But after reading the translation I was a little … huh? That’s not Yuri. 

So I kept turning it back and forth in my mind until suddenly a thought snuck up on me.

Wasn’t Agape going to be Viktor’s short program? Same as Eros? 

So, what if Agape isn’t about Yuri, but about Viktor?

I’ll show you what I mean in a second - let’s go over the lyrics in hors d’oevre-sized morsels:

Keep reading

I love thinking about the butterfly effect, how every little decision or event can have such a big impact on somebody’s life - and the thought of alternate history, alternate universes, where everything is different because of one action. We have such a big impact on our surroundings, we are changing the future every day. You reading this post will maybe have an impact neither you or me could have ever imagined. The universe works in mysterious ways.

The Mortar and Pestle

I can think of no tool in a witches’ arsenal which requires more finesse than the mortar and pestle. So often people will pick one up, looking forward to pounding and grinding, not realizing it takes so much more than brute force. Resins will gum up, herbs will be stirred with little to no effect, roots will refuse to powder, all causing a great deal of frustration to those who so looked forward to using this marvelous set. But here’s the secret to using a mortar and pestle: brute force is rarely ever needed, and will not work well in most cases.

Working with resins, herbs, spices, flowers, and more can be maddening with a mortar and pestle, as each of these requires different ways of grinding and working. You cannot approach each the same, as each is entirely different. Simply pounding away at everything will not produce the fine powders so often hoped for. In some cases, a powder is simply not attainable. But, with a little patience and cunning, the tool will serve you well. But before we get to any of that, it’s important to note that if you’re having excessive trouble with working with a mortar and pestle, and the set came from a specialty occult shop, it might just be best to toss it aside. Most of the time these sets are too smooth, not having what it takes to actually grind the materials down. A mortar and pestle made for culinary use is usually the best way to go. Such sets are generally not expensive, and will last you a lifetime.

With that in mind, left’s get right to it! Below are a few examples of the different grinding methods I use.

Resins- Resins can be notoriously difficult to powder properly, often succumbing to the friction between the mortar and pestle and gumming up. Even pounding the resinous chunks too hard will result in sticky pieces. When it comes to tree resins, you must consider what it is you are grinding. Don’t pound the chunks with all your might, or try to grind them with force. No, resins require a delicate touch. Use the pestle to gently hit the chunks until they crack apart. Then use the pestle smoothly, gently, with patience. Resins will take time to powder, giving you plenty of chance to focus your will as you work. Before you know, the gently circular grinding motion will produce a fine powder for any use. Be aware, though, that you cannot use one technique for all resins. Copal powders easier than Dragon’s Blood, which powders far easier than Myrrh.

Dried Herbs and Flowers- Another example of a place where brute force will not serve you, though dried herbs and flowers are much more forgiving. Rosemary, jasmine, lavender, and vervain are all good examples here. Simply stamping at these will not be enough. Often times it takes a gentle grinding of these ti create a suitable material for a powder. Some dried herbs, like mugwort, simply will not powder, whereas Jasmine flowers will be reduced to a fine powder in mere seconds. As with resins, take your time. Be gentle. When you grind dried herbs, you’re either working with botanicals you have dried yourself, or that come prepackaged. If you’ve dried them yourself, you’ll have a much easier time. Prepackaged herbs, while useful at times, are very difficult to grind down any further than the state in which they are purchased. It’s possible to do though with yet more patience.

Dried Roots, Barks, and Berries- Don’t let anyone tell you these are easy to grind because holy mother, that is a lie. Dried roots, bark, and berries are prbably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to grind in my life, and these botanicals are some of the only ones where brute force is your friend. Each of them requires a great deal of power to break down. However, once you’ve pounded them apart, the force is no longer needed. You’ll still have to give it some welly, but it won’t require near as much effort once you’ve broken the materials down. Mandrake root is a good example of this. When dried, mandrake becomes wood-like. It’s very difficult to break down. However, once you’ve got it worked down, you can powder it as you would anything else. Other roots are not so forgiving which is why, if you pull your iwn roots, I encourage you to slice the root pieces into disks. These are much more managable than even small pieces, as the larger surface area gives you more to work with. Bark should be handled much the same. As far as berries, you have to be sure they’re comoletely dry before attempting to work then down. Some berries are far easier to powder than others. Juniper berries (not being real berries) will give you hell. But, as always, keep your patience. It will serve you well.

Fresh Botanicals- This is where you’ll want to forget about powdering. When it comes to fresh botanicals, it’s often only feasable to draw out the juices via stamping and bruising of leaves and flowers, or making a paste by the addition of warm water. Roots will create a paste of their own, as will mucilagenous plants like aloe-vera and marshmallow. Berries will simply muddle down. If you’re trying to get seeds from fruits or berries, you can use a mortar and pestle to (gently) muddle the materials, then add water. After some time, the seeds will sink to the bottom while the body of the fruit/berry floats. Using fresh botanicals in a mortar and pestle can create a great poultice, as well as helping release the volatile oils and constituents of a plants for an infusion or decoction.

However you choose to use your mortar and pestle, remember that it will take time to really understand the tool, and longer to get the hang of it. However, the nortar and pestle is, I feel, and integral part of witchcraft practice. One can learn so much from working their botanicals down, smelling them, hearing them, feong what it takes to break them down, and more. While the mortar and pestle have a great deal of uses beyond just grinding, it’s a great place to start. Happy grinding!

anonymous asked:

I don't know why but your Kuro gives me a lil langsty feels, I mean Kuro went touchy touchy on Keith, but also wants to tap Lance, and what if Lance falls for him but is sad bc he thinks Kuro just wants to have a one night stand with him, he bursts into tears in front of Kuro bc "I want to be loved, and you just want to do me" what is ofc not true - I mean he wants to do him but he also loves Lancey... or something... ok now it sounds all overly dramatic, in my head was better XD

I started writing one or two fanfics about this.

Like Kuro at some point realizes, that he has a crush on Keith… but that’s it. There’s something missing. At the same time his bromance with Lance kinda escalates, but he doesn’t know how to handle that situation. What if he’s misinterpreting all this?? What if Lance isn’t into him, too? He has no idea about relationships for fuck’s sake. D: In the meantime Lance suffers in silence.

So Kuro tries and keeps everything the way it is now… and that kinda works, until a “yay, we saved the planet”-party happens and he and Lance get drunk and well… they kinda end up sleeping with eachother.

From there on everything turns into a total mess, because Kuro can’t express his feelings and Lance doesn’t know how to deal with his jealousy and low self-esteem.

There’s a lot of crying and avoiding eachother until a mission goes wrong and Kuro kinda jumps in and takes a shot to the chest for Lance. He almost dies and confesses to Lance, because he’s afraid he’ll die without ever telling anyone - even though EVERYONE except Lance knows.

Of course Kuro makes it and the first thing Lance does, is kiss him before he can jump into the next life threatening situation. :D

The truth hurts but
so do most other things. 
I dreamed about you 
but you were nothing like  
yourself. 
When I woke up,  I tried to call you
to tell you 
the world wasn’t as bad as we thought
but if I ever knew your number,
it escaped me in that moment. 
I hope you forgive me my
forgetfulness. 
I get it from my country. 
(Or else the ones who did this
to my country.
I can’t remember which.)

I heard from someone that 
the sky makes room for some things
but not for others,
and I can’t help but think
that my limbs don’t bend the right way.

And anyway, I hope you’re happy after all.
And I hope the sad poems don’t make any sense to you, kid,
I hope you never have to understand. 

And I’m sending my love.
You’ll recognize it by the way
it takes up all the elbow room 
in your new house.
(Sorry about that.
It’s something I’m working on.)

I hope you sleep well, old friend. 
I hope you wake up and
everything
that’s ever been taken from you
is returned to you in full.
—  Y.Z, Found on Your Doorstep, 8 pm on a Saturday
Q&A Cristina, Kieran, Mark and the politics of trust

“clockwork-artifices said: Hello, Cassie. I<3 Cristina, so i wanted to ask about her. She’s been described as someone who’s been hurt and betrayed in the past (and recently), therefore she doesn’t really trust people that easily now, so with that in mind i couldn’t totally understand 

spoilers

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Why You Guys Need to Stop Boycotting The 100

Time for a rant:
First off let me say I’m a clexa shipper, so I went through the same thing you guys did when Lexa died. But what I’m about to rant about is more serious than any fictional ship.
Okay, for all of you people who’re not watching The 100 anymore because you’re upset, that’s fine! It’s completely okay to stop watching a show you no longer like. But to you shits who’re actively trying to get The 100 cancelled and boycotting it, stop. Seriously, you guys may think that you’re doing the right thing and trying to stop queer bating but you’re destroying tons of innocent people’s livelihood. You’re trying to cancel a show that’s queer bated, which it bad, but that was a decision that was made by a few. You’re taking away the jobs of tons of people for instance, Eliza Taylor, Lindsey Morgan, Bob Morley, Marie Avgeropoulos, Devon Bostick, Henry Ian Custick, Richard Harmon, Paige Turco, Chris Larkin, Isaiah Washington, Zach McGowan, cinematographer, floor manager, graphics coordinator, stage manager, makeup artists, production manager, technical directors, stunt coordinators, video control operator, composer, colorist, editors, foley artist, costume designer, location manager, production and set designer, etc. Should I go on? And I know what you guys are saying, that they’ll be better off working on something that’s not the show, but not if the show gets cancelled! They’re way less likely to get hired (maybe even ever again) if the show gets cancelled, it looks bad for them. Name one successful actor from a failed tv show. Hmmm, don’t really know anyone do you? And then think about some minor workers on the set who might not even get a job ever again if The 100 gets cancelled. All because you guys had to have a fit and demand the show gets cancelled, stop being a baby and realize that people have jobs and aren’t as privileged to have everything handed to them, they work, and you’re taking away the work from them. It’s as simple as that. Yes, I get you’re upset about Lexa but please look at the bigger picture. So next time I hear someone trying to boycott The 100, you better be ready for me setting a fire in your ass.

Sun thru the Houses

1H: the first house is the house of the self, and because the sun is representative of the self as well, this is a very healthy position for the sun to be in. this shows the type of person that is meant to put themselves out into the world, and to have a lasting impact on others. the sense of self is most likely pretty strong and associated with the aries archetype, since this is the natural ruler of the 1st house, and mars. this can give the chart holder a warrior like personality, one that must always be more forceful, assertive and able to stand up for themselves. they usually approach life with much vitality, strength and enthusiasm. these people must be appreciated, noticed and acknowledged for who they are. there is a strong desire to feel important and wanted as well, it is important to not let yourself become a tyrannical figure though, as that can be something common and associated with this placement of the sun. 

2H: the second house is the house of worth and value, also security and possessions - physical possessions. with the planet of one’s vitality, self expression and ego coming in here, it lights up the part of us that needs to develop outer security and what one values. it is important for these people to learn what gives them a sense of security and fulfillment and not have to be dependent to find it through others, like their opposing 8th house represents. security would typically come through strengthening the ego and self, because that is what the sun itself represents. the individual with this placement must feel secure with themselves, so even if outer security is missing, they will feel an overall safety with life. 

3H: the third house is the house of communications, knowledge, speech, and siblings. with the ego and self lighting up this house, the sense of self is derived from what this person knows. they must feel honorable about their own thoughts to feel a sense of purpose in life. they also must feel like they have been heard by others, nothing could be more sad than a third house sun person that is constantly ignored or feels ignored (perhaps if mercury is in the 12th house). these people are hardly ever satisfied with what they know, and are always looking to learn more, their hunger for knowledge is insatiable. there is always a need for this person to get their point or words across to others; through verbal speaking or the written word as well. there could be a talent or mastery of language. 

4H: the fourth house is the house of where we came from, our roots, home, family, mother/parents, the deeper part of the psyche, what makes us feel safe, secure and at home. with the planet of the ego and vitality here, the person must feel honorable in the home environment; there is a need for the home to stable in order for this person to shine. imbalances in this environment can severely hurt or impact the chart holder, never to be forgotten. there can be a tendency to over identify with the family and not give yourself the chance to branch off and create a separate identity in your own life. it’s common for this person to have been an only child - the center of the parents’ universe, worshiped by the parents even. creative energy may be mustered up in the home environment. 

5H: the fifth house is the natural ruler of leo and is ruled by the sun, so this is seen as a very healthy place for the sun to be in and shine to it’s fullest extent. the fifth house rules leisure, pleasure, romance, casual sex, gambling, risk taking, the general sense of fun, although that is something very subjective and personal to everyone. with the sun here, the person must feel honorable in what gives them a sense of pleasure and leisure. these two things are what the chart holder holds very highly and strongly values. there may be a strong creative force in the individual. the involvement of romance, fun or any theme falling in the fifth house enhances the chance of this person being a participant. however, there can be a need to always be the center of attention as well, especially when endeavoring these “fun” activities. 

6H: the sixth house is the house of labor, daily routine and health. with the planet of the ego and vitality, there is a tendency for the overall sense of self to derive from work/service and one’s own general health. there is a need and constant motivational factor of improving the self and finding ways to be better at what ever it is they do. self imperfections or insecurities are always heightened here, because the ruling sign of this house, virgo, is highly critical and picky, especially of themselves. there is always room for improvement and fixing everything to it’s best ability, virgo believes. since this house rules one’s general health, with the sun here the individual must have a respectable relationship & honor their own body. there can be self-neglect because of the primary focus being of service to everything else but themselves. the sun here must learn to efficiently balance out their daily life and the self, realizing there can be nothing without their self anyway. 

7H: the seventh house is the house of others, partnerships, marriage, open enemies. with the sense of self, ego and vitality coming to light up this house, the person must feel honorable in their relationships with others. however there is a common tendency to have a poor sense of self and vitality because the ego is so closely associated with others, rather than the self. they find themselves through others. relationships and partnerships or social interaction of any kind give them subtle clues to who they are more so than when they are on their own. this can be the type of person that does not ever want to be alone by choice, because of this fear of feeling completely lost within the self. it is true though, that they do need to be involved with people or others in some way. 

8H: the eighth house is the house of privacy, intimacy, transformation and the occult. the sun represents the self, vitality and ego, so naturally when this comes into the eighth house, the ego and self seek personal transformation through acts of intimacy, occult studies or pushing themselves extremely hard to test their limits in life, and possibly find a sense of rebirth through doing so. this person pretty much yearns to feel emotionally connected to and bonded with something, there is an extremely intimate outlook on life. everything is profound in the eighth house, this person can be extremely wise and insightful because of their deep, complex dynamic make up, mostly because of their fascination with all things that are hidden from the public’s eye, their investigation of the inner workings of the self and others, as well as rather taboo subjects, can pay off rather well. 

9H: the ninth house is the house of beliefs, higher knowledge, travel, foreign lands, and philosophy. with the sun, ruler of the personality, ego and one’s own vitality, there is usually an experimental nature towards one’s own belief systems - the individual can usually try out many throughout their life, until one fits their personal moral system the best, and which they must find honorable enough to expand and grow from. the individual with the sun here may view life as a voyage, a soul search or some type of pilgrimage. this person can be very concerned with the bigger picture and tend to neglect the finer details to their life. there can be an eternal wanderlust and desire to constantly grow internally and mentally; these are very acquisitive people. this is a common placement indicating visionaries, gurus, religious figures, spiritual practitioners. the self is designed to find inspiration through growing and developing the self more, and passing this inspiration on to others through their own beliefs and knowledge, as well as life experience.  

10H: the tenth house is the house of one’s reputation, how one is perceived through the public eye, the persona, the career and one’s achievements. when the planet of one’s ego and personality, also vitality comes in the 10th house, there is a strong desire to be admired by others and recognized as someone. the sign of the sun specifically will give more clues to what it is exactly the person wants to be admired for. there must be an honorable relationship with one’s professional achievements and reputation. there can be a dependence on a parental figure for acknowledgment, or an inheritance to enhance the chances of acknowledgment. the person with sun in the tenth may over identify with tenth house matters and have a hard time forming a separate identity with any other part of themselves. 

11H: the eleventh house is the house of social groups/dynamics, organizations, clubs, society, humanitarianism. when the planet of one’s identity and self comes in this house, there is a direct association of the self with whatever they are associated with. there can be direct association between the self and friend group, this is who they are. or what cause they believe strongly in. this person may be vastly involved in many different groups or organizations, and an interest in spreading their knowledge. the identity here is strongly linked to a higher cause than themselves. the self worth, worst case scenario, is derived from groups or friendships. relationships with friends, groups and organizations must be felt as honorable and secure through the individual with this placement. 

12H: the twelfth house is the hardest house to describe because we do not truly know what is in there…generally it’s the house of the subconscious mind, the “back of the brain” where things are not commonly thought about or acknowledged, or seen. its the house of dreams, mysteries, escapism, illusions, sensitivity, spirituality…everything. it’s where things go to dissipate. it represents the things that are hidden from us, as opposed to the things we hide from others - it’s entirely unconscious in it’s workings, and extremely hard to describe or pin down accurately. with the planet of the ego, personality and vitality coming into neptune’s domain, the ego is washed away and dissolved. the boundaries between the self and outer world are extremely thin, these people are very sensitive to energy. the conflicting aspect of this placement is that the twelfth house is the furthest house from the conscious mind, and the sun itself is an extremely conscious energy. the individual with sun in the twelfth must learn to properly blend the workings of the spiritual realm and the things that cannot be seen, with the outer, more tangible realm. the ego is comfortable in spiritual practice, solitude and being of service to others. there is a fear of others not accepting them for who they are, so its more often than not that the individual with the sun here hides themselves from others and only comes out when alone. the sun here is easily tainted and colored by other energies and is felt the strongest when alone or secluded from others or things that may drain its energy. the sense of self is fogged and blurred by neptune. the ego must feel honorable in it’s spiritual views, acts of service and time alone. the uncertainty of the self that these people feel is what causes them to fall into the depths of depression or sadness. they can feel overwhelming guilt just for being who they are and expressing themselves, because there is some obligation they have to be there for others, and avoid ever being seen or felt as selfish. 

**afflictions of the sun must be taken into consideration as well, as that can severely alter some of these characteristics. 

cvvtx  asked:

Hi! This is really random but I bumped into one of your posts and I've ALWAYS been interested in witchcraft since I was really young. Recently I keep thinking about it and stuff but idk where to begin. I was wondering if you could tell me?:)

Sure, I’ll try my best! I do have a beginner tag where you can find this original post, but I’m going to copy and paste the majority of it for the purpose of this ask.

“I’m going to start off with three things you should consider before deciding to be a witch. These are not necessary, but are suggestions.

One - What is your primary goal or what you want to achieve from becoming a witch? If you are just interested in it for the aesthetic, or because you think it will make you look cool, I would reconsider the reason behind your interest. This isn’t to say that people haven’t come to witchcraft this way and have been successful, but it may take you longer to grow into. Something else to consider is that having this identity can be dangerous depending on your location and situation. Those that dress as witches for the aesthetic are probably not trying to be harmful, but can sometimes cause a false sense of belonging to those that are practicing witches. (I asked a girl once if she was a witch because she wore a pentacle and I was looking for a local friend and she laughed at me.) Being a witch is often lonely and kept as a personal identification.

Two - Witchcraft can be happy and sunshine and rainbows, but at it’s base it is not something to laugh about. Witchcraft is about using the world around you and bending it to your will. That is a huge responsibility to have on your shoulders, as what you do can often affect others around you, whether you mean it or not. You have to be able to accept that witchcraft means work, responsibility and dedication. It is not a toy.

Three - Not everything you see is up for grabs when it comes to magical practices. There is (yes, there is) such a thing as Cultural Appropriation and it is a harmful thing to spread and practice. I’ll leave you more information on this later, but the point is that not all practices and paths are open for you to explore. You need to be able to look at everything objectively and do research and ask questions. Where does this practice come from? Who started it? What culture is it from? More often than not, when you engage in these types of practices, you are not even getting the original information. Why would you want to so something that is just a half-assed version? It’s disrespectful and harmful to the actual, living people of color (POC) that still practice the original forms of magic or ideology that so easily gets passed off as “ancient and mystical” when it is really just a white-washed version.

Some other tidbits to keep in mind.

Magic is not black and/or white. It is a neutral force that you bend to your intentions. Calling “good” magic white, and “bad” magic black only propagates racial inequality and the subliminal message that POC are evil.

You don’t have to be Wiccan to be a witch. Wicca is a religion/cult/practice where members worship the god and goddess, revere nature and often use magic in order to supplement worship. They follow The Rede and the Three-Fold Law. Most of what you will see on Tumblr is actually Neo-Wicca, which does not require a practitioner to be initiated into a group by way of a Priestess or otherwise. Wicca is an initiatory cult. Neo-Wicca is based off of Wiccan teachings, and often allows the practitioner to be solitary.

You can follow a religion (any) or you can not follow a religion. Witchcraft can be viewed as a religion on its own, but generally speaking it is a practice that can be blended with religion or not.

Witchcraft does not equal Satanism - as Satanism has many forms and ideologies it branches to as well, some not even involving magic.

You don’t have to be pagan or worship any deities to be a witch.

You don’t need to be white to be a witch. (I’ve been asked this!!!)

You don’t need to be straight to be a witch.

You don’t need to be able-bodied to be a witch.

You don’t need crystals.

You don’t need fancy tools.

You don’t need to read Tarot.

You don’t need an Ouija board.

You don’t need to communicate with spirits.

You don’t need a familiar.

You don’t have a spirit animal unless you are Native American and studying in a tribe. (Please read this post)

Smudging is also NA, see above. Please refer to it as smoke cleansing.

You can curse.

You can choose not to curse.

You don’t have to practice every day.

You can take extended breaks.

You don’t even have to call yourself a witch! Witch is a gender neutral term, but some feel uncomfortable using it because of its feminine history. You could use Wix, sorcerer(ess), magician, practitioner, cunning man/woman, etc. You don’t even need a title at all.

You don’t need a magical name unless you want one.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something along the way, but the bottom line is that whatever you choose to do, you are valid. All you need is yourself and the drive to learn and practice, whatever that may mean to you. There is no right or wrong way to be a witch, unless you are doing something that is harmful to oppressed cultures and people.”

Reading Material

Mostly, I’ll be using my tags for this, so that you can peruse as you wish!

Beginner Witch Masterpost - via @magic-for-the-masses

Witchy Masterposts - everything you’ll ever need, especially for beginner ideas like energy work and visualization.

Types of Witches Masterpost - to help you narrow down your focus on your path if you feel necessary!

Cultural Appropriation in Witchcraft - can get a bit heated, so take that into consideration.

Deities - offerings and masterposts of pantheons

Witch Tips - beginner friendly tips

Spoonie Witchcraft - beginner friendly and good for low energy work

Books - PDFs and book references for purchase

Astrology - fun stuff mostly and some informational posts

Herbs - associations and precautions

Tea - witchy essential

Coffee - also a witchy essential

Bath Magic - beginner friendly

Sigils - low energy and beginner friendly

Crystals - lots of pictures, some informational posts and precautions.

Curses - if you dare

Kitchen Witchcraft

Moon Magic

Storm Witchcraft

Tarot Tips - side blog

Other Divination

Anything else you are welcome to search on my blog by typing in torque-witch.tumblr.com/search/(enter word here) or you can visit my FAQ for more information.

Blog Recommendations

Witchcraft

@breelandwalker

@badoccultadvice

@belladonnaswitchblog

@cunningcelt

@cosmic-witch

@cxnnxr-slxan

@da-at-ass

@death-witch-envy

@frankiezaltar

@hellboundwitch

@hylianshrinemaiden

@herbalburbal

@ioqayin

@intuitive-witch

@littledoomwitch

@magic-for-the-masses

@magicianmew

@nightkunoichi

@nerdywitchmomma

@orriculum

@oldmotherredcap

@phoenix-fire-witchcraft

@potato-witch

@qedavathegrey

@recreationalwitchcraft

@rainy-day-witchcraft

@rootandrock

@stormbornwitch

@stormwaterwitch

@spellboundwitchcraft

@thewitchexchange

@themoonmysteries

@thekitchenapothecary

@upthewitchypunx

@unmaskingthedivine

@visardistofelphame

@witchy-words

@witchy-woman

@wheelchairwitch

Divination

@a-lavender-moon

@alethiomancer

@afoolsgrace

@coffeeandtarot

@deathandtarot

@followthewindreadings

@intuitive-rose

@limoniume

@loganscove

@moondusttarot

@queenofchalices

@ravenmagill

@swampseer

@tarot-dreams

@tarot-cards-and-tea


Some of these blogs do overlap with witchcraft and divination, but these are people I follow and respect. If you have any questions please feel free to send me and ask or message me! That goes for anyone :)

Does anyone ever think about the fact that after everything with Kate, maybe Derek goes to New York with the decision to never to be hurt that way by anyone again. Not the losing his family part, because how could he ever lose so much again, right? (Right? I’m not crying at all!) So he gets a part-time job as a grocery bagger or something, because he is young and most places won’t hire him halfway through the year. And he works after school to bring in a few bucks so that Laura’s eyes won’t be quite so pinched now that she has gotten her GED and began working to make ends meet for them in a very expensive city. After work, she then spends sometimes hours on the phone and emailing lawyers who are still trying to get all of the paperwork straight. So yeah, Derek  works to help Laura.

But then some lady at the store gives him that look. Like Kate. Her eyes are interested, and her grin is predatory, and he just knows she wants him. So he thinks to himself if he initiates it, maybe it won’t leave him feeling so wrong. So he does. And it becomes a thing. He flirts with anyone who shows him interest as he bags their groceries and “helps them to their car” even though they never need help.

From there maybe it just becomes a way of survival. As he gets older, it seems like more women want to sleep with him. He’s filling out, thanks to all of the runs he’s going on after work and thanks to the workouts he’s pushing his body through every morning. Because he has to be strong enough. He has to be bigger. He doesn’t want anyone to think they can hold him down or force him.

He learns how to play the game. One day he mentions something about that to a coworker (now working at a bar mixing drinks because someone had once told him he would make great money in tips) but his coworker didn’t think of sex as a game. Derek knew better. Maybe it wasn’t for some people, but he would never be able to trust someone in that way again, so he had to strike first before an opponent could.

One day a man at the bar looks at him just right, and Derek just thinks Oh. He’s never focused on men before, but he’s noticed them in passing. So he goes to the guy’s apartment after his shift and they sleep together. Derek pretends he’s done this before, even though he’s mostly relying on his sense of smell and hearing to tell if the guy is into different things he tries. And after that, Derek flirts with anyone he feels he has to.

So fast forward to Stiles. Stiles who is home from college after his second year has finished to make room for summer break. Stiles who means so much and is so good even when he’s an asshole. Stiles who leans in one day after a pack dinner, when he and Derek have finished cleaning up after everyone else has gone home. Stiles kisses him gently, at first, almost hesitantly. But when Derek doesn’t push him away, he presses in more firmly and suddenly Derek realizes where this is going to go. And it kind of makes him sad.

He lets Stiles slip his shirt off and push him back onto his bed. Stiles crawls on top of him and Derek begins pulling their hips together in a slow and sinuous way. But Stiles doesn’t react like any man Derek’s been with before–which really shouldn’t be as much of a surprise as it is. Yes, Stiles lets out a little moan, but it doesn’t break Stiles away from Derek’s mouth, where his tongue is doing things to Derek that he can’t explain. And his hands after trapping Derek’s face, but not like he’s trying to contain Derek, more like he’s holding something precious. His thumbs keep swiping across Derek’s eyebrows, like he’s memorizing their shape.

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3

If the writers really wanted to, they would’ve found a way to make Peridot coming to the rescue mission work, because think about how interesting it would’ve been if Peridot came instead of Pearl! 

We could’ve seen how she would’ve reacted to seeing her former leader, Yellow Diamond, being in such an emotional state regarding Pink Diamond! We could’ve seen the inner turmoil inside her; about how she still thinks about Homeworld and how conflicted she feels about going against everything she ever believed in, that she was literally made for, for the Crystal Gems! We could’ve seen how it became Peridot’s CHOICE (as opposed to initally being FORCED) to stay with the Crystal Gems OR, alternatively, have some foreshadowing of a future rift between the Crystal Gems and her, maybe even have her siding with Steven about being bent in learning the truth about Rose Quartz and what happened between her and Pink diamond! 

We could’ve! Had so much character depth! with Peridot!! 

anonymous asked:

Soulmate AU where your soulmark doesn't only symbolise your soulmate, but also how you'll realise that they are your soulmate. (because unlike the romace novels it isn't always "bond" at first sight, sometimes it takes YEARS to discover what was there all along). Now imagine Stiles so obsessed with his very-much everlasting state of virginity because of his bite mark on his chest and HELLO what else could that mean. (part 2 in the next ask)

Part 2: Or imagine derek trying everything to get rid of his mark, because the bullet shaped mark was the reason his young naive self approached the argents, and KATE, in the first place. And we all know how that went.

The water was cold as it splashed on his face – cold and refreshing – and his hands stayed pressed against his face for a long minute, his eyes closed and a tired sigh leaving him. Slowly, Derek dropped his hands from his face and grabbed the edges of the sink. He hesitated before finally lifting his gaze to the mirror in front of him.

His eyes, blank with a hint of sadness and bags heavy underneath them, found the bullet shaped mark slightly to the left of the center of his chest immediately.

Derek had been five when his mom had sat him down and told him about soulmates and soulmarks for the first time. And because of his soulmark, it had also been when he was told of hunters and how he needed to be careful. More careful than any of his siblings and any of his friends.

He had been five and hadn’t listened. He hadn’t listened when he was thirteen either, nor when he was sixteen and approached the woman he thought he was his soulmate.

It had been years – long and painful years – and he had yet to forgive himself for that. He doubted he ever would,and looking at his soulmark made him feel sick to his stomach.

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A small askblog community-related comic I drew because I was fed up with the social climate surrounding askblogging/roleplay/fandom. 
I mean, seriously guys, I am disappointed.

Artists and writers are human beings and do not always share your idea of the world and their work will reflect that, both in good and bad ways. 

This does not mean we should accept everything without criticism. We are free to discuss those ideas of the world, draw inspiration from other people’s view and inspire one another. We are free to disagree, too. But first and foremost the discussion should be civil and with the shared goal of creating good art.
You think someone’s work is offensive? Ask them about it. They may just have issues with composition and framing. Or they may just don’t know better and no one ever teached them how to do research properly. Or they have a mental condition that makes it hard to communicate their thoughts. There’s tons of reasons for art not to communicate the point properly, and only ONE of those reasons is that the artist may actually be a bad person.
Always keep this in mind.

Also: The private message function exists. If you have a 3000 follower blog, you may consider using that instead of reblogging someone’s “cringy art” and criticize it in front of 3000 people. Trust me, it works wonders. And it reduces the death threats

Handle your drama responsibly, guys.

I was talking to Nina about ADD and I just realized how to describe it. So let me put it here.

Focus is something you hear from a young age, focus on this, focus on that, why don’t you remember these things. And you don’t think it’s abnormal, because people forget things, they’re people. And maybe you forget to tie your shoes and people make fun of you for it, but you don’t mind cus it’s a quirk, you’re just forgetful that’s all, and in children that is fine.

Then you enter school. Your teachers ask you to sit still in chairs, or to be quiet, or to stop drawing, or to pay attention or combos of them all. And it’s hard, it’s so hard to do those things and when you can’t manage it, you’re misbehaving. Maybe your grades start to drop because everything seems to slip by, the board in front of you might as well be covered in fog for how well you can focus on it. Or maybe you skate by because the work is easy, you might not be able to focus on the lessons entirely but you can force yourself to tune in for just enough to stitch it together. 

It doesn’t matter which one you are, or if you’re another. Eventually, at some point, you come to a conclusion. Because people won’t let you forget it, how easy it should be to remember to eat lunch, how easy it should be to study by reading over notes, how easy it should be, how easy-

Focusing is natural for everyone else. They don’t have to think about it like you do. They struggle sometimes, for sure, but often clicking in is just natural. Focus is a choice. 

Focus is not a choice for you. It’s an effort. It’s the hardest work you ever do when you’re not interested in something and someone wants you to watch a board and listen to them talk work for word. It’s like keeping eye contact for a straight hour without blinking. When you can keep focus, it tires you, takes everything you have, and you hate that it’s so easy for everyone else. And when you can’t, when you catch the first five minutes and a thought drifts your way and suddenly the lesson is over, you look at your empty page of notes and wonder why you keep fucking it up.

You start to feel stupid. Maybe your grades reflect it. Maybe they don’t. Either way it starts to stick, how everyone else can do this so easy and you can’t. Like you’re supposed to be able to do it. People get frustrated with you, why don’t you remember this conversation, why can’t you study, god if you only tried-

You want to scream you try. You try your heart out. But everyone seems to certain you don’t. The things that help you focus better, chipping nailpolish off, drawing, tapping your leg, are all signs you’re not giving it your all. They’re signs you’re lazy. You wonder if your trying isn’t enough. Maybe you’re supposed to give everything. You stop your drawing, your movements and your grades slip and it’s not supposed to be like this, you’re stupid, why are you so stupid-

Maybe one day, you realize you’re not stupid. It’s brain chemistry. Maybe they give you drugs that help and suddenly the world is a little clearer, and focusing is easy and was it supposed to be this easy, is that why no one got it? Because they never knew what it was like to cling off the edge of an icy ledge and have no purchase? Or maybe drugs don’t work and you find other ways to work, move lectures to hands on assignments, study by writing yourself practice exams and filling them out yourself, drawing problems to see them rather than to focus on an abstract. Maybe it helps some days. Maybe it doesn’t. But you know it’s not you and that’s what counts. 

You still feel stupid though, some days. When you forget your keys, or laugh too loud, or forget fragments of conversation. Because it’s supposed to be easy and you can’t quit that thought no matter how hard you try. Except-

Sometimes, with some things, things you really care about, focus isn’t a problem. Maybe it’s a tv show you like, maybe it’s a hobby you enjoy, maybe it’s a subject you can’t learn enough about. It’s something that matters, something that you love. There you can focus. You can do more than focus: you can tune out the rest of the world like it’s nothing. The world centers to you and the thing, and until you pull yourself out, it remains that way. In this world, you’re never stupid. You’re just you, and you can see everything in front of you crystal clear. 20/20.

You put the thing you love away. The real world awaits.  When you get up, you forget to bring your empty mug of tea with you.

And for a moment, just a moment, that’s okay. 

Sleepless

Summary: You and Sam both have insomnia, so you find a way to entertain yourselves.

Warning: smut

Word Count: 1550

A/N: It’s been a while since I wrote Sam x reader. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


12:36 AM

Insomnia does weird things to a person.

Under no other circumstances would you be sitting in the library of the bunker, reading about the weaponry forged in fourteenth century Japan to combat a monster that was essentially an ocean-dwelling werewolf.

Yeah. Can’t make this shit up.

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