shiro is vld's damsel in distress and keith is his knight in shining armor
Ok so I know I joke about Keith saving Shiro like a princess, but actually, this is honestly how their dynamic is portrayed?? Keith is always shown as the first one at Shiro’s side when he’s in danger, always running to his rescue. If he has to choose between the mission and Shiro, he’ll take Shiro every time. But now, let’s talk about this idea he’s a knight for a minute. Because it’s very much a purposefully drawn comparison. In the comics, when the paladins are all likened to pieces on a chessboard, Keith is delegated to this role. The narrative literally refers to him as a knight by name.
The imagery of Keith’s bayard also serves to reinforce this. Instead of a more sci-fi weapon like a laser gun or some advanced alien tech, Keith’s weapon of choice is a classic sword. Nothing evokes the image of a knight more than a sword and shield (which the paladin suit has). Keith’s belief system also feeds into this archetype. Time and again, he’s singled out as the most dedicated to the mission. He is a paladin first and foremost. When Pidge wants to leave to find her family, Keith is the one who lashes out and lectures her about how they need to defend the universe and make sacrifices for the greater good. When Allura is captured, Keith again notes that their duty as paladins must come first. Keith leaves the castle when he believes his presence will do more harm than good. And the paladin guidebook even lists his most important value as honor–a clear reference to knightly chivalry.
Keith’s initial role in Voltron is also a clear indicator of his character. If the head of Voltron is a leader whose men will follow without question, if they’re like a “King,” then as Voltron’s “right-hand man” Keith is a loyal knight. And just like any good knight, Keith will call out rulers for failing to serve the people and treating their subjects unjustly. The way Keith reacts so strongly to Lubos is a good example of this. Again, nobility and honor are distinctly important to him.
Another trope with a knight and damsel you often see in fantasy is that, like a typical knight, the protagonist highly values chivalry and champions a noble cause. But ultimately, that means learning to sacrifice their own selfish desires for the sake of the greater good. So their love interest is often seen as a distraction from the hero’s quest. They can’t afford to indulge in their feelings because the mission must come first. And often times, this culminates in a decision where the knight must choose to sacrifice the person they care about most–a representation of their own desires–because their duty demands it.
And in his trial, who is it that’s sent to tempt the hero and divert him from his quest, who is it that Keith longs for most, the person he “desperately wants to see”? Who is the one person that Keith can afford to be selfish for, the one who he’ll throw away everything–including his obligations as a paladin–just to be with?
And we know that this is an archetype VLD is very much aware of and acknowledges in their narrative. After all, heroes who fail to give up their own wants and needs, chasing after their love and abandoning their duty–they’re often cast down, vilified, characterized as foolish and selfish and bringing about disaster for their arrogance. And Zarkon is the literal embodiment of this character. He’s a glimpse at what Keith’s future could look like if he continues down the same path and chooses Shiro over the universe. Just like how Zarkon chose his love over everything else.
So when I mention all the sheith and zaggar parallels, I really do believe it’s wholly intentional. Especially given all the foreshadow that Keith will eventually reach the same crossroads where he’ll have to decide whether or not to sacrifice Shiro for the sake of the universe. But being that Keith doesn’t believe in things being so “black and white” and also the trope that a successor will surpass their predecessor, I believe Keith will figure out an alternative answer that will allow for both Shiro and the the others he defends to stay safe.
Now, as for Shiro’s role as a “princess,” the notion is pretty interesting. Obviously, it’s a clear subversion of gender. But there’s never any shame or weakness to it. Quite the contrary, actually. Shiro is established as the strongest and most formidable member of Team Voltron. He’s their brave leader, their fearless protector, their unshakable rock. But he is so often idolized, seen as impossibly perfect and infallible, and this inevitably takes its toll. The fact that he allows himself to be vulnerable with Keith, to let Keith help him and take care of him, is never shown as a point of pathetic inability or weakness.
Rather, Voltron portrays it as okay to admit that you aren’t strong enough, that you’re not okay, that asking for help is perfectly alright and there’s nothing wrong with admitting you can’t shoulder the weight of the world on your own. Shiro asking Keith to come save him is important because he never asks the others for help. He puts up a facade and tries to keep everything together in front of them. And when Keith says things like Shiro really changed his life, you can infer that, before this, Shiro was probably always the one taking care of him. So Keith always being the first to defend Shiro in turn reads as You were always the one protecting me, now let me stand by your side and protect you.
This concept of sheith’s dynamic resembling a knight and princess is also established immediately. Their very first scene together is Keith saving Shiro, and it really feels like knight rescuing their lost love. Right away you associate these two characters with one another, see just how intimately familiar they are with each other. Keith fights fiercely on Shiro’s behalf but softens up when he looks at him, leans it closer and tenderly reaches out to him. And I’ve talked about this a lot before, but the way Keith mourns Shiro is distinctly reminescent of someone grieving a lover.
The way he’s inconsollible and claims to be the only one who really cares about Shiro, the way he searches relentlessly and needs to be told time and again that it’s time to move on, the way his voice breaks when Black accepts him and he pleads, “Please, no.” Keith really loves Shiro. And his devotion to him, including leading Voltron in honor of his last wish as well as vowing to never give up on him,Keith’s desperation to be with him, this notion that he’d be all alone without him--yes, he loves Shiro. But it’s a love that’s passionate and intense and possessive and desperate in a way that platonic or familial love just isn’t.
I think Kuron’s rescue and recovery in season 3 is also very remenescent of this whole damsel in distress theme. For one thing, Keith is established as Shiro’s sole rescuer, and the “reunion” scene is an intimate moment between just the two of them. Kuron’s hero is here to save him, and they can both finally be at ease. The start of the next episode is very interesting because it just seems like business as usual. The paladins are all off on a mission, but Kuron is nowhere to be seen. He’s taken out of the action. Instead, this is the first time we get to see Allura use her bayard. And she makes for a fearsome opponent. It’s a distinct reversal of how you’d usually see a knight go off on their quest while the princess waits back at the castle for their safe return. Here, Kuron takes on that position. And the way we see Keith dutifully caring for him at his bedside afterwards reinforces this idea. And it’s okay for Kuron to rest and take as much times as he needs. It’s okay because Keith will still lead in the meantime and he’ll always be there to check in on Kuron and help him through his recovery.
Of course, there’s more than one way to save someone, and I think it’s important to make that distinction with Shiro and Keith’s relationship. Because it’s not Keith carrying all of Shiro’s weight for him and taking care of everything. It’s about Keith really supporting Shiro and reaffirming that he is a good and worthy paladin–“You mean, your bayard.” It’s the way that Shiro has already given himself up for dead but Keith looks him in the eye and tells him that he’ll be alright, that he can make it. It’s the fact that Shiro struggles with his trauma and still believes that he’s a monster, that he’s undeserving of the title “paladin” and that there’s no way he can stand against the empire and survive. Keith asserts time and again that Shiro is their leader, that Shiro is strong and kind and loving, that Shiro isn’t broken, that he deserves to live. It’s that Keith gives him hope, and Shiro is able to stand by his side and push forward because of it.
Ultimately, I think the best way to describe this dynamic is by just quoting what Josh said at wondercon about his favorite scene: “Shiro is in really bad shape and he’s waiting to pretty much get rescued by Keith. I love this clip because you really see the weak side of Shiro, you really see Keith’s determination to find him. And it was just really exciting for me to watch it. Because it really looks dire, and it really looks like he’s not gonna make it in time. And then–a hero comes through and saves the day with the lion.” Keith is really Shiro’s hero. And just like he’s promised, he’ll always be there to save Shiro–as many times as it takes.
Everything felt like it was playing out and slow-motion and all you were doing was twirling the flowers in your hand. You were nauseated and your mind was racing with every possible scenario. You knew that Yoongi couldn’t have a squeaky clean record. Especially with his attitude and the way he talked to you sometimes. For some reason you still loved him, despite that.
The way they are hanging out in her room before breakfast
Betty once again confiding in Jughead and him assuring her that she did nothing wrong
Jughead’s little “come here” and his freaking smile
Betty cupping his face
Jughead’s hand on her leg!
Betty’s angry face as her mom interupts
The way that Alice Cooper is so incredibly chill with Jughead. She hates all of Betty’s friends, but doesn’t blink an eye when she so obviously interrupts them kissing
Alice not being afraid to talk in front of Jughead, it’s almost like she’s already treating his as one of the family
The break room scene
The way that Jughead settles next to Betty on the chair even though that room is filled with furniture.
Betty immediatly leaning up against him
I love seeing that they are so comfortable with each other in front of their friends
Confronting Cheryl scene
Couple power walk
Betty looking to Jughead for support and his little nod
The way that Jughead watches her, he is so proud of how she stands up for herself and her sister
Their multiple glances throughout the entire conversation. They always seem to say so much without any words.
Jughead’s intense “CHERYL” when she teases about not giving the message. Protective boyfriend mode activated.
Jughead putting his arm around Betty and nodding as if to say “It’s all going to be okay.”
The Hug scene
Oh my god this entire scene
Betty once again choosing Jughead as the person who she confides in about her family and all of the craziness
Jughead trying to use sarcasm to lighten the mood and calm Betty down (as he has successfully done in the past…”we’re all crazy”) But immediatly getting serious when he realizes that isn’t going to work this time
Jughead’s look of alarm when Betty talks about the Coopers not existing anymore
JUGHEAD’S MONOLOGUE TELLING BETTY TO NOT GIVE UP. Have you ever heard something more beautiful?
How his voice gets so strong when he talks about her being stronger than all of the white noise
The way his voice breaks when he says “Don’t let go”. He might be thinking about his own family and how his mom let go and how he wasn’t able to keep them together. He doesn’t want the same thing to happen to Betty and he knows that she is strong enough to stop it.
That collar grab!!! That killed me.
Betty taking Jughead’s words to heart and assuring him that she won’t let go.
The hug! How Betty holds him so tightly and how he reaches one hand up to hold her head.
The Mama Cooper Scene
First of all, I just love how Betty brings Jughead with her for support wherever she goes.
The fact that Jughead has now been in the Cooper’s house at least 4 times that we have seen.
Jughead inviting her mom to write at the Blue and Gold…oh my god. Betty looked to him to ask, so was he the one who came up with the idea?
Mama Cooper and Jughead’s interactions in this scene are so easygoing. She obviously approves of him and he is obviously comfortable with her.
The ending scene
Okay, but the fact that Archie goes to Betty and Jughead because he knows that they are the two most likely people to actually do something about this information warms my heart.
I love how Betty and Jughead are immediatly on the same page with suspecting Hiram Lodge.
Archie looks confused when Jughead starts writing something, but Betty already knows what he is doing.
Look how excited those two dorks get at a new possible suspect. They barely refrain from jumping up and down in joy.
Also, I love that Jughead is the one who wrote all of the names on the board. He loves the idea of a murder board so much and I’m sure our little extra boy loves putting a new name up.
Summary: You find out you’re pregnant and tell Tom.
You lay on your back in bed, looking over at Tom every so often as he shifted in his sleep. He’d gotten home in the very early hours of that Saturday morning after being away for two weeks. You hadn’t heard him come in but had woken up early with his body radiating warmth next to yours, and now you were just about to burst waiting for him to wake up so you could share the news.
On Wednesday, three days prior, you’d taken a pregnancy test, just as you’d done every few weeks for the past couple of months after the two of you made the decision to start trying for a baby. You’d gotten distracted while waiting for the result, and didn’t even look at the test until an hour after taking it when you went into the bathroom looking for your keys. You did a double take when you saw the test with a little pink plus sign sitting on the counter.
“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, a hand coming up to cover your mouth as you picked up the test to look at it closer. “Oh my god.”
You took another test just to be sure - and a few minutes later, there it was again: a pink plus.
Your first instinct was to call Tom and tell him, but you rethought mid-dial, deciding that this wasn’t news to share over the phone. It was only three days until he’d be home - you could wait that long.
But waiting had proved difficult. Keeping the news of your pregnancy all to yourself for three whole days?! You could barely contain yourself, especially when Tom called on Friday afternoon before boarding his flight.
“I can’t wait to see you,” you had said, smiling to yourself.
“Me either,” he’d laughed, hearing the eagerness in your voice. He hadn’t a clue.
You rolled onto your side in bed, propping your head up on your hand, looking at Tom sleeping next to you on his stomach with both his arms folded beneath his pillow, and decided you couldn’t wait a minute more.
“Hey, you,” you said softly, running your hand gently through his messed up curls and down over his shoulders and back. “Wake up,” you spoke against his bare shoulder, pressing a kiss to his warm skin.
“Mmm,” he stirred. “…time is it?”
“Early,” you said.
“Mmmm,” he hummed in protest, but turned his head toward you on his pillow nonetheless, eyes still closed.
“I have a secret,” you hinted, biting your lip.
“Hmmm?,” he questioned, barely awake.
He cracked open an eye. “Actually?”
“Mmhmm,” you nodded, a small smile playing on your lips.
He lifted his head then, squinting in the morning light. “Are you joking?” he asked, in an “I’m-about-to-be-so-excited-I-could-cry” kind of way, his voice sleepily breaking at the end of his question. You shook your head. “Because that would be a really mean thing to joke about–”
“I’m not joking,” you gently laughed.
“You’re seriously pregnant?” he asked again softly.
“Yeah,” you nodded, staring into his eyes.
A smile spread across his face, and he took an arm from beneath his pillow, wrapping it around you and pulling you half beneath him. He pressed light kisses across the front of your shoulder, along your jaw, and on your lips.
“I’m so happy,” he murmured, his body sinking back into the bed and into you and his tired, smiling face nuzzling into your neck. One of your hands threaded through his hair, the other rubbing circles on his upper back. His arm laying across you shifted so he could lift your shirt a bit, and he began running his hand back and forth over your lower stomach, his pinkie finger under the waistband of your pants. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”
One (of the many) moments that I loved in 3x10 was seeing the matched desperation from both Jamie and Claire to fight their way back to each other when they are separated.
We’ve seen this desperation, and the sacrifices they make along the way, many times before.
Jamie rescuing Claire at Ft. William
At the witch trial
Claire searching for and trying to get Jamie back at Wentworth, and him sacrificing himself for her
Rescuing Jamie from Wentworth
Claire sacrificing herself for Jamie’s freedom in France
Their separation and Jamie eventually getting Claire back from the Duke of Sandringham
And obviously, their 20 years apart.
All these times we’ve seen them physically separated and fighting their way back to each other. While feeling desperate to get the other back, their efforts were thought out and calculated. Problem was met equally with a solution or sacrifice, though never without consequence.
In 3x10, though, we see them almost become unhinged at the attempts to get one another back. We see Fergus asking legitimate questions about Jamie’s plans if he gets free and hear Jamie, after throwing out unplanned ideas that cannot work, desperately exclaim “I dinna ken yet!” The one blinding thought that fills his senses is that he MUST get Claire back. (And the way his voice breaks when he asks Fergus “Get me the keys” makes me weep!)
We see Claire contemplating murder, putting herself in danger to gather information to save Jamie, and attempting the impossible by jumping overboard to find her way back to him.
What’s different this time than all the others? The haunting look in both of their eyes as they know what it has been like to live a lifetime without each other, the fear of having to do it again, and the knowing that they couldn’t.
Jamie’s look in his eyes as he tells Fergus he can’t lose Claire again, the pain reflected as he tells him, for love, you would “move Heaven and Earth. Risk arrest and death, even Hell.” In that moment, their whole story is described. Claire has moved Heaven and Earth to be back with Jamie, they’ve both risked arrest, death, and Hell many times. But that fight to find their way back to each other time and time again, since neither is complete without the other, is why their relationship is one for the ages, and why we love them for it.
for soft prompts, what r ur thoughts about nurseydex's first kiss happening up in the reading room after 2am?? i hope u feel better!! <3
i love this idea so much?? thank you!!
Dex was pretty sure that Nursey was asleep. His eyes had been closed for the past 10 minutes and his chest was rising slow and even and he wasn’t fidgeting with his phone case or his bracelet or the edge of his shirt. He was still, and it felt like the world was still around them.
They were lying on their backs, side by side, and the Haus was quiet underneath them and the kegster that they’d crawled onto the roof to escape had clearly died down and the sky was dark and vast above them, but Dex wasn’t focusing on any of that. Dex was focusing on Nursey, and the freckly by his ear and the stubble on his chin and the faint bags under his eyes, and the small smile growing on his face that told Dex that maybe Nursey wasn’t sleeping after all.
“I can feel you staring at me, William,” Nursey said, not opening his eyes, as Dex felt his cheeks turn bright red.
I would give anything for a you too write about having a intense make out session with Tom and he starts fingering you while you're still making out and your moaning into his mouth and it's driving him insane 😅
both of you would probably be on the sofa, maybe watching a movie or a series, but tom apparently placed his hand on your thigh. he gave soothing circles with his thumb as it was planted on your skin. though you knew that wasn’t the only thing he’d be doing the whole time since it eventually lead tom bringing his hand up and near the area between your legs.
he shot you a look that screamed sex all over the place. “c’mon, darling, i missed you.” tom leaned his face closer to yours, close enough for his lips to brush past your cheeks as you became all flustered at his actions.
“i hate you,” you mumbled and looked at him once more but this time your were surprised with a pair of your favorite soft lips latching onto yours as he hummed something between kisses though you clearly did not give a damn as you deepened into the kiss.
meanwhile tom was also working his fingers down below as he pulled your panties aside which gave him an instant access of your pooling core. he ran his fingers around your dripping folds making sure to tease every area as you’d moan into his mouth. your arms would be roaming around his torso but sometime ending up with wrapping it around his neck while your hands would be behind his head.
“you’re wet for me, darling,” your boyfriend teased as he’d gently insert an inch of his finger inside of you, making sure to tease you with those actions.
“c’mon please, babe?” you’d hum between as tom would smile at you before feeling him insert maybe a finger or two in you.
then you’d moan out of excitement
—and even almost biting down onto tom’s lower lip as you felt him curl his fingers inside of you. he’d slowly thrust his fingers in your wet cunt making sure to reach every areas of your walls with just his fingertips. you’d again hum for him desiring for more as your nails would lightly rake over his skin, “t-that felt amazing”
and tom loved it when you’d be weak for him he loved hearing your voice break as he’d be working his way to your climax. and tbh for him seeing that you were enjoying and receiving much pleasure already was enough to ignite him for the night
—as obviously he is hard as a rock hearing his name with your soft whimpers!!
Pairing: Klance (voltron legendary defender) although it could be considered just platonic??
rating: e (fluffy fluff fluff!)
* * *
Lance is a light sleeper. Without his headphones, even the smallest noises can and will wake him up. This isn’t usually a problem - most nights, he has the energy to go through his usual before-bed routine which involves settling into bed with his headphones. The only times he falls asleep without them is after particularly tough missions. On those nights, he’s just too damn tired to bother with any of it, and crashes the moment his head hits the pillow. But, everyone else in the castle is usually just as tired and so there’s not a lot of commotion on those nights. Either way, Lance sleeps pretty peacefully.
Tonight is one of the nights that Lance can’t be bothered to do anything but change out of his day clothes before flopping onto his bed. Their run-in with the Galra today had been an uphill battle and everyone had come out of it exhausted.
At an ungodly hour, there’s a noise in the hallway. Heavy, sleepy footsteps that wake the blue paladin. He lays and listens as the person, whoever it is, stops just outside his door. It’s weird enough that someone is up at this hour, but now they’re just standing outside his room. What the fuck?
He’s about to get up and see what’s going on out there, because it’s grown quiet again and they’re still outside his room, but as he gets out of bed the footsteps move back the way they’d come from. He can hear a bedroom door open, not far from his own room, and close again.
Only one person’s room is that close to his.
He considers asking Keith about it the next morning over breakfast, but ultimately decides not to. Maybe he was just sleep walking?
But Lance is curious. So the next night, he purposefully doesn’t put on his headphones before bed. And sure enough, at about the same time, he’s woken by Keith’s footsteps approaching and then stopping outside his door.
A few minutes pass and then Keith goes back to his own room, leaving Lance a little confused. This doesn’t seem like sleepwalking, but… it could be? Maybe?
This happens most nights for several weeks - in the middle of the night, when everyone else is sound asleep, Keith will come stand outside Lance’s door for a few minutes before returning to his own room.
Finally, Lance has had enough of it. The next time those footsteps approach, Lance opens his door to find Keith looking back at him, a little bewildered.
“What the hell, Keith?”
The blue paladin is ready to have a full on confrontation about this. Keith is 100% awake! What the fuck has he been doing? But he’s stopped in his tracks when he notices the expression on Keith’s face. His eyes are wide and glossy, as if tears are gathering there. He’s shaking and looks very… small. Very afraid, like a frightened kid. He’s got his arms wrapped around himself, as if he’ll shatter to pieces if he lets go.
“Are you okay?” Lance asks instead of whatever angry comment he’d planned. He reaches out to place a hand on the red paladin’s shoulder
“Yeah!” Keith lies, although not well. His voice wavers and he has to swallow hard before speaking. “I’m fine.”
“What’s going on? Why have you been standing outside my room almost every night?”
“You were awake?” Keith is trembling harder now. “It’s dumb.”
“If it’s got you upset it’s not dumb.”
“I’ve been having nightmares. I… I don’t really know what about, but I’ve been waking up r-really panicked.” His voice is cracking, seconds way from breaking. “At first I tried calming down on my own but it didn’t work. So I thought I’d feel better if I just… wasn’t alone. Your room is right here, I thought I could come to you for help. Just so I didn’t have to be by myself.”
“You should have knocked or something instead of standing outside my door, having a panic attack.”
“I would always get this far and then feel really stupid about the whole thing.”
Lance sighs, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders and guiding him into the room. The blue paladin settles back down in his bed, pulling the covers back and and scooting far enough over for another person to fit.
“Well, come on. Let’s get some sleep, Mullet.” He pats the empty mattress next to him.
“You’re serious?” Keith asks, not in his usual “this is a terrible idea” way, but in a “are you really being so nice” way. He is still panicking, standing in Lance’s doorway as the door slides shut behind him.
“Yeah. I’m not going to leave you alone in the hallway like this. I’m not heartless, you know.”
Keith slowly makes his way to the bed, as if uncertain. Then he gets comfy and Lance tucks the blanket around them both.
“Next time you have a nightmare, just come on in and make yourself comfy.” Lance stifles a yawn, tucking an arm around the red paladin’s waist in a protective manner. He presses his cheek to Keith’s shoulder, feeling sleep taking over.
“Yeah. Don’t say I never did anything for you.” he tries to joke, but it falls a little flat since he’s already halfway asleep. He can feel Keith’s form slowly stop trembling as the other boy relaxes.
Keith picks up on the joke anyway, huffing out a tiny, half-laugh. He feels safe and warm now, much better than he’d felt alone in his own room, and his eyelids grow heavy.
Lance wakes the next morning alone, the mattress cold. But over breakfast, when nobody else is paying attention, Keith offers him a small, grateful smile.
And that night, at an hour nobody should be awake to see, Lance’s headphones are pulled away and he is woken briefly by Keith’s voice whispering “Scoot over.”
The way his father doesn’t flinch tells Jack he knew before
they all sat at the breakfast table.
Before Jack said good morning, before he grabbed the milk jug and poured
himself a tall glass, before he accepted his egg white omelette with a thanks
for Trudy who smiled back and said good morning when he said it to her.
His mother told him, when he’d been curious and feeling
grown up enough to ask what made a lasting relationship, that the key was
communication. “Constant communication –
you can never over-do it like you can under do it.” She said. So of course his father knew.
He should have expected this really, not the announcement,
though of course that should have been a no brainer. His father knowing might not have been a show
of relationship solidarity so much as a token gesture to prove that she might
be President of the United States but she was also his wife Alicia Zimmermann
and she still believed in the things she did when they were first married. Never mind all the times she didn’t on the
journey to get here.
“Jack?” He looks at his father who looks like he’s trying
not to be disproportionally concerned.
He doesn’t think it’s a good idea either. He knows what’s happening to Jack right
now. He can feel the vibrations in the
earth beneath them too. “Thoughts?”
Jack has no thoughts.
He has a high pitched ringing in his head that makes him afraid to open
his mouth in case he lets it loose. He
has no words, no words they want to hear, no words he wants to say while there
are people outside not even pretending not to eavesdrop. Besides, she’s already made up her mind. His mother’s asking him what he thinks hoping
she’ll say it’s fine but already knowing it doesn’t matter. It’s always been like this. She’s always letting people know about her
decisions out of courtesy, not because she cares what people think.
“Does it matter?” He manages to croak out.
“What? Of course it does.” Her voice is gentle like she’s
trying to soothe the anxious child he used to be.
He’s not a child anymore.
A humourless laugh spills free, “Does it though? You said one term. Ater-“ he breaks off and the air takes on the
weight of what he’s referring to, “after it
happened you said that it would be one term.
That I was more important to you.” He hates the way his voice breaks, “You
“But you’re doing so well now.” She winds an arm around his
shoulder but any comfort he ever derived from her soft embrace, from the way
the vanilla of her perfume would wrap around him, has gone. This isn’t the first time he’s noticed it but
it’s the first time he’s noticed how long it’s been since he remembers the
first time it happened. “You’ve played
phenomenally all through the finals. I
was, I am, proud of how far you’ve
come. How confident you are now.”
Jack swallowed, “So because I’m not in danger of overdosing
now you think another term is on the table? That that’s not going to change
His mother’s squeeze of his shoulders feels like she’s
trying to force him not console him and he has to wiggle free, to gain some
space around him so his ribs can move to breathe. “Jack calm down.”
“Calm down?” He hiccups trying to remember his calming
count. “No.” He blurts. “No to this second term. If you’re asking me, it’s a no.”
“Jack sit down son.” Bob has a hand on his shoulder but he
needs space. This room is too
small. He feels crowded and hot. He crosses to the window and throws it
open. A small red light goes off on the
security lock at the base. It reminds
him of how trapped he really is and he loses count again. “Jack you need to breathe.”
“I’m trying!” He shouts.
“Ma’am is everything okay?” A distant unfamiliar voice asks
from across the room.
Jack hears his mother speak but her words don’t
register. He’s retreated into himself,
far within where all he has to worry about is what’s happening to his
body. It’s not until she’s standing
behind him at the window, her hand cool on the back of his neck that he feels
himself expand and fill his body up again.
He grips the curtain cord. “In for
three out for four remember?”
He shakes her touch off again, “I remember.” He snaps.
Bob leans back and his chair creaks. “I know you’re not happy about this.”
What gave it away?
Jack wants to snap but instead he retorts, “But it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters.” Bob argues. It almost sounds like Jack can believe
him. “It matters. If you’re worried that to go through another
election race will make you backslide then it matters.”
Make him backslide.
Like he’s just an addict who needs to try harder not to fall off the
wagon. “What happens if I say no?”
Alicia straightens at the look Bob shoots her. “Then we don’t run again. Right?”
“I’m not asking you to give up hockey-” She says.
“Alicia!” Bob growls.
“I’m just asking you to trust me. To trust yourself. You’re stronger than you think you are.”
Jack turns back to the window surveying the methodical
maintenance going on on the south lawn.
Mowers ride up and down the grounds cutting uniform lines across the
grass, the gardeners trim at the flower beds creating an impressively neat line
between the soil and the freshly mowed grass.
“And if I’m not?”
“You are.” She insists.
Bob sighs her name again and again she ignores him. “I have so much work left to do Jack.” She
sounds scared about it, like the moment she steps down everything she worked
for will be erased.
She’s probably right.
Jack pushes off from the windowsill and stalks across the
“Where are you going?” Alicia follows him with her eyes but
her feet stay glued to the carpet.
“I have to get out of here.”
He whirls around, “Is that a presidential order?” He growls.
Alicia rears back wide eyed, “Of course not.”
Jack’s chest heaves in the thick oppressive air between
them. “I need to think about it.” Like
that’s going to make a damn bit of difference.
She dares a small smile, probably hoping it looks more sad
than triumphant. It doesn’t.
Summary: Dan has a problem. He can’t tell his best friend, Phil, that he loves him. And it pains him everyday. So instead, he writes down his thoughts in a notebook. For every time Dan thinks, “I love you,” he writes down why in his notebook. All 106 pages of it. Now that all the pages are full, he thinks that maybe since he has it all out in the open (for his eyes only), that maybe he would feel better. He doesn’t. Especially when Phil ends up finding his notebook, and reads a few pages from it. Then he feels something like he never has before - actual heartbreak. But Phil is there to put back the pieces in a way Dan never expected.
A/N: MY FIRST FIC SINCE APRIL!!!! I Hope you guys like it. And it DOES have a happy ending :)
I don’t know why I’m doing this, if I’m completely honest. These kind of things are supposed to be put in diaries under lock and key, only to be read again twenty years from now when I find this book beneath other junk that I haven’t touched in two decades. But this book has no lock, and it certainly has no key. How easy it would be to spot it on my desk or wherever I choose to hide it, and open the two flaps it takes to get to the first page.
#is she? #the way his voice is breaking here #he can’t even say the alternative #because what if it was all a lie #what if she just pretended the whole time #he doesn’t know what’s real and what’s part of the manipulations anymore #just kill me now
Hey everyone! I hope you all have been liking what I’ve been writing. You can message me with feedback, requests, or even just a simple hi to have a conversation. enjoy!
Sidenote: I continued this into a series. You can find the rest of the chapters here , along with my other pieces.
Description: Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.
Warnings: sad, angst, unintentional physical harm comes to the reader, nightmares, ptsd, barely any fluff
The night was cool and even through the closed window you could hear the passing of honking cars in the busy street. You’d become accustomed to it, it no longer interrupted you sleeping schedule. The apartment you lived in was shared with your adoring boyfriend, Bucky.
Getting into this relationship, Steve wanted to remind you that because of what was going on in his brain during his H.Y.D.R.A. days, that it could manifest itself back into him without any trigger. He described Bucky as, “a bomb just waiting to go off.” You could tell it hurt Steve to have to describe his best friend that way.
People were giving you the whole spiel about “how you can’t change people”, that “he’s never going to be a normal person.” Even Bucky was scared for you, he didn’t want to put you in harms way.
But, you were headstrong. You loved Bucky with all your heart. You knew what he could do. The thing was, you weren’t afraid. You weren’t scared of him. You never were.
Bucky was haunted with vivid nightmares about the awful torture and killing he had been through and done. Almost every night he relived through something different. Sometimes, they were so realistic that he would get on top of you and restrain you, cursing you in his sleep. This was a normal occurrence when he had nightmares of the doctors that tore apart his mind.
He would always wake up of no recollection of what happened, and you never told him. All he remembered was the nightmare itself. You didn’t want to make him feel guilty, it didn’t bother you actually. You knew what he went through was traumatizing, so you never blamed him for what happened when he was in his sleep.
It was a beautiful Sunday morning and you woke up next to your most favorite person in the world. Bucky was sound asleep, his arm wrapped around you, his scruff brushing your bare shoulder.
You raised your arm behind you to run your fingers through his hair and you felt him smile against your skin.
“Good morning babe.” His raspy voice breaking the silence. You loved the way he sounded right after he woke up.
“Good morning Bucky.” You chuckled as he placed an array of kisses along your shoulder, neck, and face. “Hey, I’m gonna take a shower. Then I’ll make us breakfast, okay?” You rolled over onto him, both of you giggling, his hands on your back. The coolness of his metal arm sending shivers up your spine.
“You’re gonna leave me here in the absence of your warmth? How could you?” He had a huge smile on his tired face as you leaned down and kissed him one last time before making your way to the bathroom.
You turned on the water and stripped off your crinkled pajamas. Before you got in, you saw yourself in the mirror out of the corner of you eye. Turning towards the mirror, you saw yourself in full for the first time in a long time. You realized in that moment how much your body was covered in bruises; new and old. Your hips and ribs slightly blue and purple from when Bucky gripped you hard during a nightmare that scared him to tears. Your thighs were expressing the same coloration and your arms had little scratches from his fingernails where he had dug them into you. You never noticed them before. You weren’t angry or upset, you understood this is what came with the nightmares he had.
“F/N, I hope you don’t mind if I join you for your shower.” He opened the door with a smirk on his face. “I’d like to love you some m-” he stopped mid-sentence as he looked up and saw your naked body and all the marks on it. “Baby, what’s- what happened?” You turned to face him and him placed his hands on your shoulders. You didn’t make any attempt to cover them up, he already saw. You just had to find the words to tell him. “Tell me. Why do you have all these bruises… a-and scratches?” He spoke softly, but his voice with filled with concern.
“Bucky.. it’s fine. I’m okay.” You gave him a shy smile as you looked up at him. His gaze fluttered up and down your body. “Bucky..” You didn’t know what to tell him, or even how.
A sudden realization hit Bucky and it felt he took a blow to the gut. “I- I did this..” He voice cracked and the hurt in it made you wince. “I did this.. didn’t I?” The thought of him hurting you and damaging your beautiful body brought tears to his eyes.
The water was still running, but you ignored it. “I’m okay. I know you don’t mean it. We’re going to be okay. I love you. That’s all that matters to me. I love you so god damn much, that guess what? I’m willing to go through this pain with you.” You pulled his forehead down to yours, gripping the front of his t-shirt to bring him down to you.
“I’m so sorry F/N. I’m- I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I can’t believe I did this. It won’t ever happen again.” At the point Bucky was sobbing, holding onto you for support.
He was so upset, and you were his support system. You placed a kiss on his lips and helped him undress. You helped him get into the shower as he was stumbling from the emotional pain. There was no love making. You helped him wash his hair, having the water just warm enough to feel calming against his skin. He was silent as you wrapped yourself in a towel went into the bedroom to grab some clothes for you both.
When you returned to the bathroom he was out of the shower, looking at the ground. You got him dressed and brought him back to bed. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to make some coffee, just the way you like it.” You kissed him on his head and gave him a sad smile. As you were turning away, he gently held your hand and didn’t let go.
“Don’t go… please.” He whispered at you with hurt eyes. It made you feel so broken inside.
“Okay.. I won’t go anywhere.” You climbed back into bed with him and snuggled up to his chest. “I’m never going to leave you. We’re gonna be okay.”
He whispered into your hair, “F/N, I’m sorry.” You told him how happy you were with him and that things were going to get better. The soft fabric against your skin and the warmth of your bodies brought both of you back to sleep.
As you fell asleep, all you could think of was that everything was going to turn out alright. You loved and trusted Bucky and that was all that mattered.