Just Anxious... [Seb Stan x Reader]
AN: Drabbles, drabbles, drabbles… Just a simple drabble I was inspired to write in the middle of the night writhing in agony.
Warning: Anxiety and anxious situations.
Summary: Reader is at a Seb photo op and she was getting really really nervous.
The line moved up again and I could feel my heartbeat go faster, louder. My hands shook, hot and clammy. The people in front of me were smiling so big. The people behind me talk loudly, joking and laughing. They’re excited, just as I am. But I think unlike them, I’m scared.
What if he doesn’t like me? What if the picture we’re taking is not perfect? What if I don’t like the way we look?
With those thoughts running through my head, my insecurities crept up. So I checked my reflection for the tenth time, fixed my t-shirt.
The line moved up and I’m next. I could here his voice and the laughs. Oh God, I’m next!
I tried to remember his words. The advise he gives people when they come to him about their problems, their anxiety. I know them by heart. I read it everyday. Taking a deep breath, I let out the nervous energy within me in a long exhale. It helped some.
The camera shutter goes off, once, twice, thrice. Then, thank yous were exchanged. A few more laughs.
The door opened and a man’s head peeked out. “Next!”
“Come on, kid!”
The girl behind me nudged me softly. Gulping, I dragged my feet through the threshold.
There he was. Oh God, oh God, oh God!
He turned when he saw me and I just couldn’t keep moving.
“Hi, I’m Sebastian!” He took a step towards me, holding his hand out but I was rooted to the spot. He was everything I pictured him to be and more. His smile was so big, it lit up the whole room. He seemed so happy to see me.
But what if I make him uncomfortable?
My breathing came a little bit faster and I couldn’t look anywhere too long. I paid a fortune to get here and I can’t even look at him.
“Hey, kid,” the photographer snapped and I looked to him. “Come on, we haven’t got all day!”
“Hey, give her a second, alright!” Sebastian said and turned to me. He was frowning.
Oh God. I’ve gone and done it now.
“I’m s-sorry.” I inched backwards. “I’m sorry, I can’t!” My heart is in my throat. I feel like puking but I will die first before I puke in front of Sebastian Stan.
“Wait!” He called, taking another step closer but I was already close to the door.
Tears pooled in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m sorry.” Then, I turned and ran out the door.
I ran to the emergency exit and barely made it to the stairs before my legs lost strength. I slid down the wall, breathing hard. More tears slid down my cheeks as I berated myself. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Weak. Pathetic. Idiot. The one chance I had and I chickened out. I couldn’t do it and I ran.
I didn’t know how long I stayed there, but I only realized where I was when I heard the door opening.
Standing quickly, I wiped my face from any tear tracks. I bet it didn’t do much.
“Hey, are you doing alright?”
That voice. I know that voice. I’d know it anywhere.
Sebastian looked at me as I lift my face up. Concern marred his handsome face and I forgot to breathe. He seemed to notice this because he stepped close and put a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, breathe! Slowly.”
I blinked but followed his instruction. After a moment, my heart rate started to go down.
“I was looking for you. You ran out of there before I could… How are you feeling?”
My eyes must be huge then. “I- I’m better…now.”
Sebastian smiled. “Good! Good, you got out of it. I saw you were a little nervous… Can I-uhh- Would you like a hug?” He chuckled lightly, like he himself was at odds with the situation.
I couldn’t speak. I nodded.
“Aww,” He came over and gave me the biggest bear hug ever. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his face. I let out a shaky breath, still not believing what was happening. “There you go. Just breathe.”
“You were looking for me?” I hiccupped as fresh tears came to my eyes.
“I’m on my lunch break and I escaped my handlers. One of the girls said they saw you run through here. I just- I know how bad it gets and I’m sorry they rushed you in there. I just… wanna make sure you’re alright.” He explained, still not letting me go.
I wanted to cry but I didn’t want to ruin his shirt so I held it in. He had looked for me. Could this man be any more perfect?
He waited until I was ready to let him go before he stepped back. “Now, it would be unfair if you paid for a ticket and didn’t get what you came for. So, Miss…”
“Miss YN, would you like to take a picture with me?”