the warmth is strong with this one

Before I realized
You were always there
Whenever I watch you
You have a smile on your face
We understand each other
Even without words
There’s an invisible something
That binds us together

(NOZOMI:)
How many dreams can there be
In my eyes?
Just how much kindness is there
In your heart?

(SAGIRI:)
Grab my hand tight and don’t let go
I want to keep feeling your warmth
Just like this

(SAGIRI/NOZOMI:)
Being with everyone was so much fun
Being with everyone made me so happy
In the end our hearts will unite
And become one strong bond

Meeting you was a miracle
And that miracle is my most important treasure
There are far too many words
That I want to express
No matter how much love I give it doesn’t seem to be enough
As vast as this world is
Fate brought us together
So we’ll hold each other in our thoughts
Always and forever

Being with everyone was so much fun
Being with everyone made me so happy
The memory of each and every day, so precious it’s dazzling,
Is always swirling inside my heart
In the end our memories will also bind us together

If you look up at the sky, whirling white
Like crystals of snow
Each and every one of our hearts becomes one
And an eternal bond is born

Everyone’s warmth
Will remain forever in my heart
Because we are bound together for eternity.

(Thank you @chemicalperfume <3)

when you hate your legs 
remember that they carried you through the hardest parts of your life. they get you out of bed every day and take you to what you love.

when you hate your stomach
remember that it helped you gain strength. it holds the memories of deep laughter and great meals. it is full of warmth and joy.

when you hate your arms
remember that they are strong, which makes you strong. but they are also soft and can be used to cuddle and hold the ones you love.

Siren Allure Spell

Originally posted by enchantinworld

Sirens are dangerous creatures, who lure nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. This spell is used to bring allure to your speaking and singing voice, to enchant those around you.  It is best used when a witch is wanting to kill it at an interview, dominate a speech, or perform like the greatest diva.  And it is so simple!

YOU WILL REQUIRE:

–tablespoon of honey
–bowl of sea salt
–glass of water

SPELLWORK:

  1. Begin outside.  (If you are near a body of water, this would be even better.)  Toss a pinch of salt in each of the four directions, saying:
    Northern sirens of rivers carving stone and dark depths, aid me.
    Eastern sirens of cliff drops into jetties and sea spray, aid me.
    Southern sirens of pale sands and hot lava rock, aid me.
    Western sirens of endless horizon and ancient shipwrecks, aid me.
  2. Make a circle with the remaining sea salt, large enough for you to stand in, and step into it.  Shut your eyes.  Envision the tide rolling in over your toes, kissing your ankles, and drawing you out waist deep.  
  3. Open your eyes and distribute your honey onto a spoon.  Recite the following chant:
    For words sweetened as fresh honey,
    for song as powerful as hurricane gales,
    for confidence as strong as undertow,
    for appearance as alluring as siren maidens.
    I am one with the sea and the sea is in me.
  4. Consume the honey.  Let its warmth spread over your tongue, along your teeth, down your throat, and into your stomach.  Concentrate on that heat and feel it spread through your veins.
  5. Taking your glass of water, drink the entirety of it.  When you are finished, say: My siren spell begins now and all will be enchanted.
  6. Step out of the circle and your spell is complete.  It should last one full day.

Hope this helps, darlings!

Friendship Comes First:  What (Good) Fanfiction Can Teach Us About the Romantic Subplot.

I love all forms of storytelling:  television, books, movies, you name it.  As long as it’s quality, its ripe for the picking.  

It’s so easy for me to become engrossed in the lives and psychologies of fictitious characters, to care for them as though they’re people I really know.  Which, on some metaphysical level, I suppose is true, but that’s a topic for another essay.

However, in the midst of all my possibly Asperger’s-fueled hyper-fixation and nerdery, there’s one inevitable aspect of seemingly every plot to which I will almost always role my eyes and click the fast-forward button:  the goddamned romantic subplot.

So many times have I seen the exact same variation of romantic love between fifty homogeneous couples, and each time, I failed to see the appeal:  in books, the smirking, obnoxious male love interest will woo the object of his desire through flagrant disrespect, the same toned bodies will copulate furiously on my television screens (typically at the exact same moment my parents or small siblings will walk into the room), the same vapid, flirtatious stares and generic dialogue will be exchanged. 

But where’s the basis for it?  Yes, these people are stressed to be attracted to one another to the point of obnoxiousness, but do they even like each other as individuals?  Are they even friends?  Is there any three-dimensionality to their relationship besides sizing each other up and deciding to bump uglies? 

Simply and also sadly, the answer is very rarely.  And so, it seemed to me that romance was not my cup of tea, both in the fictitious world and out of it.  Or so it seemed.  

Because it was then, at approximately seventeen, that I discovered a remarkable phenomenon that would change my life forever:  fanfiction.  

Never before had I been so enraptured in the relationships of fictional characters, and I was baffled as to why.  Yes, I’ve read a tremendous deal of fanfiction that is, in fact, book quality, but as an avid bibliophile, I was perplexed as to why I’d never been so captivated by the romantic endeavors of a published author as I was by the passion-projects of writers not much older than I was.     

After a lot of time, careful consideration, and the illuminating words of some of my fellow bloggers, however, I believe I can finally put words as to why. 


1.  Give your characters a narrative purpose (besides being The Love Interest.) 

Do you ever wonder what inspires Supernatural fans to tirelessly churn out fics about their favorite human-on-angel pairing?  I have, and this is someone who’s a proud proponent of the stuff.  

The sheer magnitude of free literature available, constantly repositing the pair in all manor of situations and walks of life, is absolutely baffling, and undeniably impressive.  Indeed, some of the best works of romantic literature – and yes, I do consider fanfiction to be a form of literature – I have ever come across were starring none other than this specific pairing:  from the infamous Twist and Shout (which I don’t recommend if you ever want to listen to Elvis Presley music, visit a beach, or feel joy ever again) to the charming Have Love, Will Travel (probably my personal favorite), some truly beautiful love stories have blossomed from a pairing that has never even been confirmed onscreen to have romantic connotations.  

Perhaps just as baffling is the other end of the spectrum:  Lisa Braeden.  Lisa, for those unfamiliar, is basically posited as the love of Dean’s life, with whom he lived for a year before being forced to give up his dream of a family life and return to full-time demon busting.  They’ve canonically kissed, had sex, shared a bed, and everything typically associated with an onscreen couple.    

Yet comparatively no fanworks exist about them.  When Lisa does appear in a fic, she is usual Castiel’s rival for Dean’s affections, or simply a hapless bystander. 

Why is this?  Well, a disillusioned observer might point to straight women’s apparent predilection towards fetishizing male homosexuality (I, for the record, am not straight myself;  I’m a proud bisexual who, thus far, has only dated women.)  I’m inclined to retort that this isn’t giving female fans nearly enough credit. 

For starters, remove all context from each relationship and examine them with a critical eye:  on the one hand, you have Castiel, Dean’s angelic savior from forty years in perdition.  Castiel is clearly fascinated with Dean, appearing in his bedroom, somewhat suggestively (advertently or otherwise) inquiring about his dreams, watching him sleep, routinely invading his personal space, and ultimately rebelling against heaven in accordance with Dean’s wishes. 

On the other hand, you have Lisa, a perfectly nice character who’s introduced as “the bendiest weekend of (Dean’s) life” and…well, that’s about it.  She’s later shown as a sort of amalgamation of Dean’s subconscious desire for a mother figure and normal life, but she, as a character, remains somewhat underdeveloped and hollow. 

You can’t expect fans to hold the two relationships to the same caliber and then cry internalized misogyny and fetishization of gay and bisexual men when they don’t.

The fact of the matter is, onscreen “friendships” are typically much more developed, much more three-dimensional, and much more ideal of what a truly epic romantic plot should be.  A character with a clear place in the narrative and three dimensional characterization all their own will almost always be more charismatic than a character who’s introduced as exclusively The Love Interest.  

This is not to say that what makes fanfiction so great is that it sexualizes or romanticizes friendship.  In fact, I’m inclined to believe it’s the other way around.  

Which brings me to my next point…

2.  Make sure your characters are friends.

It’s a romance for the ages.  A love like no other.  They’re soulmates, yin and yang, a match made in the stars.

But do they enjoy each other’s company?  Laugh at each other’s jokes?  Take part in each other’s interests?  Are they even friends?  

The sad fact of the matter is, romance and erotica are, as a whole, starved for values of friendship and camaraderie. 

This is something I realized only after my love of fanfiction took root, when I tried to return to my normal sources of adult entertainment (romance, erotica, and porn) and found them, by comparison, almost bafflingly lacking in warmth and camaraderie.  

What I think makes fanfiction so addictive is the fact that it’s built upon the established relationships of two or more characters (the Onceler and company notwithstanding) who, typically, care for one another as friends and compatriots.  

Look at some of the internet’s favorite pairings:  Dean Winchester and Castiel remain a classic.  Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers are always crowd-pleasers.  Kara Denvers and Lena Luthor are seeing a rise in popularity.  We all know Sherlock has somewhat fallen from grace, but the union of its two main characters still retains a devoted following.

This is no accident:  despite lacking onscreen confirmation, these characters have proven themselves to care for one another as more than objects of their sexual desire.  They’re friends, with relationships based in loyalty and warmth that are, unfortunately, sorely lacking in typical fictional romances.  

Once you get a taste of this brand of friendship-infused romance, in fanfiction or otherwise, it’s hard to go back.  

This isn’t just limited to quote-unquote “fanon” couples, either:  couples such as Mulder and Scully, Bones and Booth, Yuuri and Victor, and Ladybug and Chat Noir can all attribute their popularity to this strong basis in friendship, camaraderie, and mutual respect.

This is also the leading cause as to why the formerly booming 50 Shades franchise, and other arguably sexist, abusive dynamics, are struggling at the box office.  

Which reminds me… 

3.  Make sure your characters are equals. 

Unless you’re writing a Lolita-esque social commentary, it’s probably your best bet to keep your characters on fairly equal ground. 

I mean this in every sense of the word, too:  I have a difficult time getting invested in a romance when there’s a pretty blatant power imbalance, which oftentimes occurs due to the implicit sexism of the entertainment industry.

Disproportionately young actresses are assigned as love interests to much older men, such as Emma Watson’s twenty-something-year-old character lusting over a man almost twenty years her senior in Irrational Man.  

Physically mediocre or average-looking male characters are frequently pared with stunningly beautiful women who like them because they’re “nice,” fueling the existing mentality of all self-proclaimed “nice guys” who think society owes them a hot girl.

Furthermore, @popculturedetective just released an amazing video explaining the “Born Sexy Yesterday” trope, in which hopelessly naive, beautiful women are seen swooning over their more savvy male lovers.  (Found here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=0thpEyEwi80)

I love Splash and the Fifth Element as much as anybody, but both films incorporate all these tropes in ample proportions, and it’s frankly ridiculous. (On the topic of Splash, however, I’m greatly looking forward to a subversion of this trope in its remake, starring Channing Tatum as the titular merman and Julianne Belle as his human love interest.) 

On the other hand, you have fanfiction.  I’ve read numerous essays professing that fanfiction is becoming increasingly popular due to the fact that same-sex relationships tend to be implicitly devoid of these sex-based imbalances, and I’m inclined to agree.  

However, I’ve read others stating that male-male pairings tend to be so popular because male characters are typically more well-developed by writers, making it perfectly understandable that fans would be more invested in a possible romance between two characters of equal multidimensionality (see point 1) than one that is sorrowfully underdeveloped.  I’m inclined to think that this theory is even more on point.   

Because look at some of the successful onscreen relationships I listed prior:  we root for Bones and Booth’s inevitable union the same way we swoon over slowburn fanfiction, delighting in Mulder and Scully’s banter and craving their interaction.  

These are, in my opinion, some examples of straight couples done right, because they’re portrayed as friends (see the previous point), and just as importantly, as equals.  

Last, but certainly not least, the male characters in both pairings are depicted as having nothing but respect for their female compatriots, depending on their intellectual know how and not being ashamed to say so. 

A more contemporary example that gets this wrong?  Well, not to offend any fans of the pairing, but Mon-El and Kara, a la Supergirl.  Mon-El was, at the beginnings of his arc, consistently disrespectful towards Kara, putting her down and insulting her in the very same episodes in which her female compatriot – Lena Luthor – is shown vocally admiring and praising her.  

Mon-El has since improved on his behavior, but the damage is done:  I still have a difficult time seeing him as a likeable character, much less a suitable love interest for my beloved Kara.   


These are just a few recommendations, based on the ways in which my somewhat obsessive love of transformative literature (i.e. good fanfiction) have helped me as a writer and helped me view the implicit problems with mainstream romance with a more discerning and critical eye.

Here, I could provide a counterpoint with the recurring problems I’ve noticed in fanfiction, or I could go into some recomendations for writing explicitly gay and lesbian relationships.  Both of these, however, are topics worthy of another essay.

Disclaimer:  I am assuming that any and all readers are trying for an enjoyable, healthy romantic subplot with equally charismatic, consenting, and likable characters.  Dysfunctionality can be just as interesting from a literary standpoint, but again, this is a topic for another essay.


There will be essays like this published at least once every other week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future writing advice and observations! 

Lesson 21: Plant Care 101

By: Chief Moderator Bee

Live Lesson: 2/24/17 @ 7:00PM

Summary: This lesson provides a basic overview of the knowledge a beginner will need to successfully grow plants. It is not intended to be a class on green witchcraft specifically, though there may be elements of witchcraft incorporated.

ANATOMY OF A PLANT

  • Shoot system: portion of plant above ground
  • Root system: portion of plant below ground
  • Flower: the reproductive organs of a plant, consists of modified leaves
  • Bud: site of new growth
  • Node: point where leaf diverges from stem
  • Leaf: photosynthetic organ, consists of blade and petiole
  • Root: anchors plant and provides water and nutrients from soil

PLANT NEEDS

  • Sunlight
    • Plants require sunlight for photosynthesis. The amount required per plant is variable, but most prefer medium or indirect light. In the Northern Hemisphere, a southern or southwest window provides the most light, followed by east windows or bright spots in sunny rooms, followed by a north window (not preferred).
  • Water
    • Plants also require water. Again, this varies widely, but the most common watering frequency is 1-2 times per week. I personally prefer the finger test, which is simply sticking your finger about 1” into the soil and checking for dryness. If the soil is totally dry, water the plant thoroughly. Thorough watering should allow water to drip from the bottom of the plant, in order to ensure sufficient saturation. In addition, many plants will benefit from a humid environment.
  • Soil
    • There are many different types of soil, but a few are more common than others. Potting soil, topsoil, garden soil, succulent/cactus soil, seed starter mix, compost, and orchid soil are the most common. Potting soil is soil that has been mixed to provide the best environment for potted plants. Garden soil is usually topsoil with compost or manure added, and should NOT be used in pots, as it is very dense. Topsoil is simply the first layer of soil. Succulent/cactus soil has sand added, seed starter mix is used to grow seedlings, compost is almost entirely decaying organic matter, and orchid soil is formulated with bark and moss to ensure healthy orchid growth.
  • Space/Container
    • Proper spacing of plants is most important in outdoor gardens, to ensure room to grow and proper air circulation. With potted plants, the container itself is most important. A container should be large enough for the plant, with room to grow, and have at least one drainage hole in the bottom. Clay readily absorbs water, and is preferred for many plants to prevent them from sitting in water. Plastic and metal are also very common, as is glass jars and bottles. I frequently re-purpose containers as plant pots (and it gives me an excuse to have ice cream).
  • Circulation
    • In order to prevent mold and other fungi, proper air circulation is necessary. It will also help strengthen a young plant. Keep in mind, strong winds can harm plants.
  • Warmth
    • Plants enjoy warmth. Many will be fine at room temperature, but some prefer more or less – research accordingly. Warmth is most important for seeds and seedlings, because they use the heat to tell when it’s time to germinate. I typically wrap my seedling in a heating pad to encourage germination.

PLANTING SEEDS

When planting seeds, not only should you read the seed packet for information, but do your own research! Google is your new best friend, if it wasn’t already. Seeds vary in preferred depth, soil type, soil density, spacing, warmth, and water, so keep this in mind. Knowing where the plant is from and the general climate there can be very helpful! For example, rosemary is Mediterranean, so it likes lots of sun, somewhat sandy soils, warm temperature, and little water. You don’t have to go memorize average daily rainfall in that region, but it helps to have a general idea.

MAINTENANCE

Maintenance is fairly simple. Outside of the basic needs of a plant, there are a few more to look for. As a plant grows, the root system will grow too. A plant can become “root bound” if it outgrows a pot, which can be very unhealthy, though some plants are more tolerant than others.

To repot, gently lift the plant up by pinching the base and wiggling the plant carefully to help the roots loosen from the soil. You can use your fingers to work the dirt clumps out of the roots, if necessary. If the plant is really stuck, press your hand flat against the soil, with the stem of the plant between your thumb and first finger. Flip the pot upside down (expect a small rain of loose earth) and give the bottom of the pot a sharp smack. Be ready for the weight of the plant to suddenly shift when it comes out! Then you can proceed to loosen the roots and repot. After you’ve gotten the plant itself out, replant it in a larger pot and bury to cover the roots. Most plants won’t mind having part of their stem buried as well, but some get fussy, so keep that in mind.

The other main maintenance that should be done is pruning. Pruning encourages the axillary buds to grow, creating a new branch where the leaf was cut. Many plants require pruning to be fully healthy. For non-woody plants, simply use a sharp knife, scissors, or your nails (wash your hands!) to cut the leaf away as close to the stem as possible. Wait a bit, and you will likely see a new branch! You can also cut the stem above a node to encourage growth. Depending on the growth pattern, you may get one, two, or even more new branches. In addition, some plants benefit from flower pruning (to encourage growth rather than fruiting) or deadheading (removing dead flower heads to encourage new ones). For example, it is recommended that the flowers immediately be plucked from strawberries in their first year, to encourage them to grow “daughter” plants and result in a larger crop next year.

PROPAGATING

Propagating is the means of producing new plants. There are various methods, but seeds, cuttings, and offshoots are the most common.

Seeds are easy, but require time or money. It takes time for a mature plant to produce seed, plus they need to be pollinated either by hand or by bees or other pollinators, so this may not be ideal.

Cuttings are popular as an “instant gratification” method (my favorite!). Simply take a cutting of a plant by slicing above the node of the stem. The chosen cutting should have several sets of leaves for best results, and it should be a segment of new growth (especially important in woody plants) with no flowers. Pinch or cut off all but a few pairs of leaves near the top, leaving 2-3 bare nodes. Place in water or soil. For water, replace every few days to replenish dissolved oxygen. For soil, keep moist, but not wet. I personally prefer water because I can easily track development, but some claim better success with soil. If using soil, sometimes a rooting hormone may be applied to encourage root growth.

Offshoots are new baby plants that have grown from the root system, stem, or rhizome of an adult plant. To propagate using them, wait until they have several sets of leaves, then use the methods described in the segment about repotting (Maintenance) to expose the roots. With a clean knife, carefully cut the baby plant away from the parent, making sure that it receives a portion of the roots. If the plant has a rhizome, cut so that the baby plant gets a small portion of the rhizome. Repot using previously discussed methods. If the rhizome is large, you can allow it to heal for a few days by setting it in a cool, dry place. This can help prevent infection or rot, but is not a requirement.

Propagating succulents is quite similar to propagating cuttings, though some, like aloe, produce offshoots called pups. In the case of propagating succulents from leaves, only some are fit for this. Use succulents whose leaves pop off easily. Select a healthy, whole leaf and pop it off, then let it sit on soil (not in!). Ignore it for a while and eventually it will produce new roots! For pups, treat them like offshoots (they are a type of offshoot), but do not water for at least a week after repotting. This encourages healthy root development.

TROUBLESHOOTING

Diagnosing plants can be tricky. Below are some common symptoms and potential causes. Be sure to research the plant in question, as some plants are more susceptible to certain illnesses, pests, or conditions.

  • YELLOWING LEAVES – too much/not enough light, high temperature, root bound
    • YOUNG LEAVES – not enough light, overfertilization, mineral deficiency
    • OLD LEAVES – overwatering, natural aging, root bound, root rot, major element deficiency
  • DEAD OR YELLOW SPOTS ON LEAVES – fungal, bacterial, or viral infection, fluoride toxicity, pesticide damage
    • IRREGULAR – pesticide damage, cold water damage, thrips, air pollution
  • MOSAIC PATTERN ON LEAVES – viral infection, high temperature, pesticide damage, major element deficiency
  • VERY DARK, LIMP LEAVES – cold/frostbite injuries, crushing, bacterial infection
  • SMALL LEAVES – low light (in conjunction with spindly stem), too much/not enough fertilizer, low humidity, root rot
  • LEAVES FALLING OFF – overfertilization, overwatering, cold injuries, low light, root rot, natural cycle
  • WILTED/DROOPING LEAVESoverwatering, underwatering (soil pulling away from side of pot), overfertilization, root rot, stem rot, root bound
  • ABNORMAL SUBSTANCE ON LEAF
    • WHITE, POWDERY – powdery mildew
    • BLACK, PATCHY – sooty mold
    • STICKY – insect activity, natural secretion by plant
  • STEM ROTTED – fungal or bacterial disease
    • AT SOIL LINE – overwatering
    • ABOVE SOIL LINE – sunburn
  • TALL, THIN STEM – not enough light
  • SLOW GROWTH – not enough light, compacted soil, too much/not enough fertilization, too much/not enough water, root rot
  • NO ROOTS – unsuccessful cutting
  • ROOTS CLOSE TO SURFACE – hot surface, overwatering, compacted soil, erosion
  • DARK, LIMP ROOTS – overwatering, overfertilization, root rot


PLANTS FOR BEGINNERS

BASILOcimum basilicum, 6-8 hours full sun, frost sensitive, likes warm conditions, easy to grow from seed or cuttings, likes moist (not wet!) soil


SNAKE PLANTSanseveria trifasciata, indestructible, rhizomatous, drought tolerant, neglect tolerant, medium indirect light (perfect indoor/bathroom plant!), propagate through offshoots or leaf cuttings


ALOEAloe vera, 6-8 hours indirect sunlight, sunburn sensitive, frost sensitive, prone to root rot, needs cactus/succulent soil, picky about water (water when dry to 1.5”-2”/3.5-5 cm), propagate through pups


WANDERING JEWTradescantia zebrina, I DIDN’T NAME THIS, 4-6 hours full/indirect sun, likes warm conditions, overwatering tolerant (avoid watering directly on leaves), propagates easily through cuttings


ROSEMARYRosmarinus officinalis, 6-8 hours full sun, likes warm conditions, frost sensitive, somewhat drought tolerant, prone to root rot, prone to powdery mildew, difficult to grow from seed, grows somewhat readily from cuttings


LAVENDER – Lavandula angustifolia, 6-8 hours full/indirect sunlight, prefer warm conditions, frost sensitive, overwatering sensitive, prefer drier conditions, somewhat difficult to grow from seed, grows somewhat readily from cuttings


MINTSMentha spp.(piperita –peppermint,spicata– spearmint),MUST BE POTTED, WILL TAKE OVER GARDEN, prune regularly, full sun/partial shade, likes somewhat moist soil, grows extremely rapidly, somewhat difficult to propagate from seed, propagates easily through cuttings


SAGESalvia officinalis, prefers warm conditions, 6-8 hours full/indirect sun, likes pruning, somewhat drought tolerant, somewhat difficult to grow from seed, propagates readily from cuttings


Thank you!

upbringing + what you strive for
  • Aries IC + Libra MC: You had parents who probably drove you to be independent. They wanted you to not need them, they wanted you to be assertive. Compromise may have been a struggle for you, and now you strive for equality.
  • Taurus IC + Scorpio MC: You had parents that probably gave you a very nice home. Lots of decorations and lots of food were provided to you. There was a sense of shallowness in your childhood that you wanted to escape, and now, you want to find the secrets of the world.
  • Gemini IC + Sagittarius MC: You might’ve struggled with communicating to your parents, so communicating became very important to you. Troubling communication made your restless in your childhood. Now, you want to learn and share everything you know.
  • Cancer IC + Capricorn MC: You may have been overly clingy in your childhood, even though your parents provided you with everything you needed. You constantly felt anxious of being the best in your family due to being provided. You now want to be responsible and hard-working.
  • Leo IC + Aquarius MC: In your childhood, you may have wanted to stand out and to be constantly in the spotlight. You wanted attention and love, but you weren’t provided with enough of this. Now, you want to be independent and help others around you, rather than help yourself. 
  • Virgo IC + Pisces MC: You were given the harsh realities of the world at very young age. You were surrounded by the many stresses of a certain parent, or you were exposed to the diseases of the world. Due to this, you want to be a helping, compassionate, healing hand to to others.
  • Libra IC + Aries MC: Your parents probably told you to follow instead of leading. You always had to play “nice” with the other kids, and you got in trouble for asserting yourself. Now, you want to lead others and create your own path.
  • Scorpio IC + Taurus MC: Your childhood was probably secretive. You looked to be approved, but instead you were manipulated by members of your family and you did not get the love you wanted. Now, you try to make and seek your own comforts, since you lacked it in your childhood.
  • Sagittarius IC + Gemini MC: You might’ve had a strict teacher-student relationship with one of your parents. One of your parents may have scolded you a lot, and maybe twisted the truth to fit themselves. Now, you have a deep urge to explore and find the truth you never found in your childhood.
  • Capricorn IC + Cancer MC: Your parents were perhaps very cold and harsh to you. Your childhood felt more like a job, and fulfilling your duties was a must. Now, you seek to find the warmth and nurturing you never received with a strong need to provide love and care to others.
  • Aquarius IC + Leo MC: Much of your childhood was spent being part of a large community and in a circle of friends. You never really felt you blended in. Due to this, you now want to stand out and to be recognized, and to have fun in the world.
  • Pisces IC + Virgo MC: Your childhood could be many things, but it was definitely confusing. Family troubles were hidden, and you didn’t know what your family really was. So, you escaped into your little world. Now, you want to find and confront the harsh realities of life, and work hard.
imagine surviving a zombie outbreak with jungkook.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

—obviously inspired by dead days.

  • the day they announced it a pandemic jungkook rushed home from school and waited for his parents to come home; they never did.
  • he’s among the first to realise if he wants help his best bet is to go out there and find it.
  • also he’s hopeless at rationing food, so he has to get moving soon.
  • having observed the undead from his window, jungkook knows he’ll have to kill to survive, and after seeing what they’re capable of he quickly comes to terms with that fact.
  • meaning his neighbour’s beagle somehow got out on day three, so on day four he drops his dad’s bowling ball from the balcony onto the head of the zombie that killed it.
  • and after his first kill spends the day dissociating and dry-heaving.
  • when over a week has passed he packs necessities and what little food he has left and straps on a few pieces of protective gear, left over from sports he’s played over the years, opting for maximum mobility.
  • those necessities include: all the wet wipes, antiperspirant, toothbrush, toothpaste, clean shirts, soap, first aid kit, his mother’s perfume.
  • jeon jungkook, nicest smelling boy in the entire zombie apocalypse.
  • because that’s how he clings to his humanity, to the remnants of civilisation: hygiene.
  • he’ll eat actual garbage but he’s gotta feel clean while doing it.
  • everyone’s got their Thing, and that’s his.
  • anyway after the chaos of that first week a deafening silence settles in the building you live in. so when you hear one of the doors to the stairwell open, you immediately rush to the peephole to see who’s stupid enough to venture into the stairwell.
  • of course it’s jungkook.
  • you go to the same school as jungkook, and while he may not know you, he has quite the reputation himself, as far as beating almost every sporting record he set his mind to goes, except archery.
  • when he passes by you call out to him through the door and the poor boy nearly shits himself. he’s still there though, when you open the door and tell him you know him from school.
  • you let him in and, much to your surprise, he seems to recognise you, he even gets your name right on the second try.
  • you’re in the same situation as him, all alone and beginning to lose hope that help would eventually come, you had even begun preparing to leave.
  • your dad had taken the bike to work that fateful morning one week ago and now you hold up his car-keys for jungkook to see, “can you drive?”
  • “i can try,” jungkook never got the chance to pass his test, but he’s your best bet, just as you’re his.
  • and that’s how you two end up more or less driving off into the sunset together, to survive another day.
  • “wait, was it you who dropped that bowling ball on mr. evans from 81b?”
  • you’re in charge of rations, because jungkook is not to be trusted around the food and he’s not too proud to admit it.
  • he deadass wants to go live in the mountains until all this has passed and you’re like ?? i’m not starving to death jeon forget it.
  • you constantly have to remind him he’s not bear grylls.
  • which isn’t easy because he’s somehow got eagle scout level survivor skills despite only having been camping like once when he was five.
  • and honES TL Y the legs on this boy, good luck keeping up with him it’d be quicker if he carried you everywhere.
  • on that note he carries you on his back whenever you’re tired or injured.
  • and he still finds time to be childish and playful. 
  • there’s a tree in your path? you bet he’s gonna fucking climb it. passing an abandoned playground? before you can blink he’s on the jungle gym like “look at me!!!!!!”
  • will insists he’s “scouting.”
  • and it’s the little things that keep you sane. jungkook wanted to be a singer and when he feels safe has a tendency to hum and sing to himself.
  • insists he needs less sleep than you so he always takes first watch, and when you can’t sleep you coax him into singing for you.
  • just kinda vocalises his way through the lyrics he doesn’t remember, because he has no way of looking them up. and also through the sexual lyrics because welp awkward.
  • eventually you know his entire repertoire and can even make requests.
  • he exercises to stay awake. like, you wake up in the middle of the night because you think you heard a zombie groan but it’s just jungkook doing sit-ups next to you.
  • senses you stirring and starts muttering “hundred and six, hundred and seven, hundred and-” but let’s be real he only did like, eleven.
  • also otherwise doing press-ups whenever he finds a flat, uncluttered surface. where’s jeon ?? probably on the ground around here somewhere like “ah, this is tiring.”
  • and you’re like “how?? why?? you’ve only had a can of tuna to eat in two days, where do you even get the energy??”
  • “gotta stay in shape if i’m gonna keep saving your clumsy ass.”
  • he’s so apprehensive of the other survivors you cross paths with some of them genuinely thought he was mute.
  • until they try to separate the two of you because jungkook is not fucking having that no way do you wanna wrestle or what
  • imagine you get to shower for the first time in a while and jungkook insists you go first because he’ll just use all the water, so you suggest you just shower together and make the best of what little water you have.
  • can’t look you in the eyes for a while after that because he’s seen you naked now and you smell nicer than you have in weeks.
  • imagine huddling for warmth, and cuddling for comfort.
  • or patching him up after another close call.
  • you have to be the responsible one, the decisive one, but in return jungkook will be your rock, your protector, steadfast and strong, never cracking under pressure, not even the weight of the world ending can faze him when he has you to worry about.
  • it doesn’t take long for him to realise that he could never leave you behind. he’ll carry you to the literal end of the world if he has to, doesn’t matter if it kills him; he’s not facing the apocalypse without you.
  • after almost losing you once, he confesses that the way he sees it he has no reason to carry on without you. he lives and survives to protect you.
  • never whines that he’s hungry or tired, because he knows you are too. he might complain that his clothes smell, or that he hasn’t washed in a while, but whenever you ask if he’s alright the answer is always going to be that he’s “okay if you are.”
I love your silence. It is so wise. It listens. It invites warmth. I love your loneliness. It is brave. It makes the universe want to protect you. You have the loneliness that all true heroes have, a loneliness that is a deep sea, within which the fishes of mystery dwell. I love your quest. It is noble. It has greatness in it. Only one who is born under a blessed star would set sail across the billowing waves and the wild squalls, because of a dream. I love your dream. It is magical. Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you, but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the world, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are the unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.
—  Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods

anonymous asked:

You should definitely share with us any Injured!Lance fics anyone recommends you. Share the pain <3

Of course I will ! I didn’t got any since last time, but I can share the one I already read !

Here are my Injuried!Lance and generally Langst fic rec (featuring Klance, and usually from Keith’s POV, whoops) :

  1. What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me
    Lance is missing after S1 wormhole, the team finds records from him .. When he’s back, he’s not exactly the same
    This fic is really good, one of the first I read and damn, if it didn’t make my heart ache ヽ(;▽;)ノ
    The angst is strong but it worth it !! (An interesting lion-paladin link and Lance study)

  2. never saw you coming by dimpleforyourthoughts
    Lance almost dying several times
    Another really good one, the angst is strong too in this !! The character studies are really good (gosh, martyr complex ??)

  3. Counting in Code by DLanaDHZ
    A military AU. We don’t really know how/where is Lance for a good part of the fic

  4. Warmth by Rahar_Moonfire
    The first part of a really long serie.
    A VLD remake featuring Altean!Lance and Galra!Keith with an interesting world building (especially about quintessence and altean culture). I never saw fic rec with that one ? It’s so good ;H;

  5. in stasis by ilgaksu
    Another angst filled fic. Lance is now and AI … _(:3」∠)_

  6. Just Static by Jessadilla (wobblyarms)
    Lance is missing and all they have are static messages from him

  7. Are You There God? It’s Me, Lance by Gigapoodle
    *UBLY SOBBINGS* READ THE WARNING BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND I WAS CRYING

  8.   A Commutual Contract by SKayLanphear
    Ongoing, a nice really nice fanfic with an overprotective Keith after Lance (almost) dying

  9. A Kiss is a Kiss (But it’s never like this) by GibbousLunation
    “five times Keith kissed Lance but the situation was less than ideal, and one time Lance finally kissed him back”
    Or Lance almost dying is something usual *sweating*

  10.   The Master of Disguise by NireYllek
    Lance getting captured by Lotor gdi

  11. that in which you do not see by albino_yeti
    A modern setting AU in which Lance lost his leg

  12. Trembling Lips by nonna
    “Five times Lance stopped himself from crying in front of his teammates, and the one time he couldn’t hold it back.” (Gen Fic)

  13. Huddling for Warmth: The Movie by maychorian
    “The paladins are heading back to the Castle of Lions after another successful mission when Shiro suddenly realizes that something is wrong. Lance isn’t responding on the comms.“ (Gen Fic)

  14. Will the Real Space Mom Please Stand Up? by maychorian
    “Lance is hurt and wants his mom. Someone has to step in. It just shouldn’t be Pidge, that’s all.“ (Gen Fic)
    Team Bonding is all I need tbh

Here ya go, those are the one I like the most (the are for my FAVE)

Please take caution about the warnings, ratings and tags, don’t be surprised please (tw are tagged, don’t worry)

Send me your fic rec ! I’ll read them and add them here ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

Hunted | Yoongi

Originally posted by yukidinme

Genre: Angst (sorta?) | Slight fluff (?) | Action | Mafia/Gang!AU

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (ft. Got7)

Warnings: Violence, shooting, mentions of dead bodies, cursing/swearing, etc.

 Word count: 2251

Request: Hello! I would like to request a scenario! Instead of writing blah, blah, blah I will make it easy to read: 1. Yoongi (with Agust D personality - you know, a bad, sassy, rude boy) 2. A mix of genres, whatever you feel inspired for but please - not 100% fluffy. 3. Triggers are alright, they make the plot even more interesting! If that’s okay with YOU ofc. 4. The AU totally depends on you! I thought about something like poor producer AU, drug dealer but I’m up to anything! 5. THANKS

 A/N: I’m finally back after the hiatus! Please leave me feedback as always, I hope this came out okay? I’m not sure, but feedback is much appreciated! 


“Yoongi…”

Your arms slung loosely around his slender shoulders, your lips gently pressed to his neck as you chuckled softly with a mischievous tone, and Yoongi couldn’t help his mouth from curling up ever so slightly, a hint of a smile dancing on his lips.

“Aish, Y/N, stop making me so soft,” he complained half heartedly, swatting your hands away as he leaned forward on his desk, his fingers intertwining, clasping his palms together on the hard surface. His phone buzzed repeatedly against the desk, and he sighed, hooking his finger onto the object and flinging it closer to him.

“What, is our big bad gang leader going all soft and gooey for me, hm?” You teased him, wanting to see how long you could keep this up, a smirk tugging at the corners of your lips with the knowledge that only you could make him this soft.

Yoongi wasn’t the soft type. His own gang members held a certain fearful respect for him, their heads ducking in a nervous nod under his piercing, cold gaze whenever he strode past any of them, his pistol always swinging around his finger threateningly. They had all witnessed his incredibly short temper, how he would easily flip the trigger on anyone who insisted on pushing his buttons too far. His wrath was particularly evident when a rival gang made a puny, futile attempt to threaten him, or back out on a deal, it was safe to say they’d be seeing nothing but darkness from that moment onwards, their bodies lay limp and decorated with wounds. His work was known clearly from his signature mark, three shots; a shot in the head, in the mouth, and straight in the heart, the chilling preciseness of the wounds instilling fear in anyone who saw the cold, emotionless, steel look clouding over his eyes, as he’d cock his head to the side with a small smirk, observing his work.

For someone who seemed so emotionless and sociopathic, his stone heart held a lot of love for you, no matter how much he tried to hide it in front of others. You were strong, skilled, a valuable asset to the gang as well as his beloved, the one person who could soften his stone hard heart, who could melt away the cold glint in his eyes, replacing it with a warmth barely seen by anyone. He couldn’t help but let his mouth curl up onto a smile every time he watched you walk past confidently, hair bouncing effortlessly, your eyes always sparkling with an inquisitive, curious look. You could be just as ruthless as him when needed, the sparkle in your eyes glazing over and becoming steely, much like Yoongi. There was a reason why no-one had attempted to use you as a threat towards him; not only would you have found a way to murder them where they stood, Yoongi’s full wrath would truly be enticed out of him, leaving no-one standing, their bodies hanging as an example for anyone who tried such a stunt again.

That day, you left Yoongi reclined in his office to make some phone calls, waving at Jungkook and Jimin as you walked past, two of Yoongi’s most skilled hitmen. You confidently strode through the halls, spinning your favourite dagger in your hands, and eventually slipping out through the front doors of the huge manor house, making your way towards the safe house in the back. Peering around the place, you suddenly felt a prickling feeling on the nape of your neck. Something wasn’t right. You stopped in your tracks, cocking your head to the side as you analysed your surroundings, your posture defensive, dagger gripped tightly in your hand.

“If there’s someone there, you might as well come out now, does it look like I have all fucking day to play with you? Whoever ‘you’ is?” You spoke out, tapping your foot impatiently as you continued to observe your surroundings, listening intently for any noise.

“Well, I guess you caught me out, huh?” Jackson, a member of a growing rival gang, stepped out from behind you, chuckling darkly with a raspy tone. “I always knew I could never sneak up on you, too quick for me.” He tapped his nose with a wry smile, his eyes inquisitive as he looked you up and down, tutting at the glare in your eyes. He spun guns in both hands, tilting his head at you in a deceiving puppy-like way.

“What the fuck do you want? Get it over and done with, you piece of shit,” you spat at him, clearly aggravated by this trespass onto Yoongi’s premises. “It’s either, you get out now, or this knife is going straight in your heart, you’re testing my patience right now.”

Jackson simply chuckled at your words, one eyebrow raising in a perfect arch. “Too bad, wouldn’t want to hurt Yoongi’s girl, hm?”

You were so preoccupied with glaring Jackson down, you didn’t notice Jaebum soundlessly and stealthily approaching behind you, until you felt a strong hand clamping over your mouth, his other arm wrapping around your waist in an attempt to restrain you. You felt a fire quickly burning up in your chest, and you skillfully spun the dagger in your hand, stabbing back into Jaebum’s side, causing him to double over and release his grasp on you. You threw the dagger like a dart right at Jackson, aiming for his heart without second thought, but he was quick to dart out of the way, just about, his gaze now furious as he clenched his sharp jaw.

You were about to sprint back to the manor house, if another of their members hadn’t pressed a cloth to your mouth, the dizzying scent leaving your eyes fluttering shut, your body weakening and dropping like a stone onto the hard ground, your limbs crumpling uselessly as you lay in an awkward position, passed out.

Jackson gestured towards your unconscious body, the other men quick to scoop you up, carrying you away from the scene before someone caught on what was happening.

“Little shit,” Jaebum cursed, pressing his hand to the wound, and wincing at the murky, sticky red liquid dripping from his fingers. “She knows how to use that knife, why is it always me who has to restrain them, while you just stand there having the fucking time of your life watching?” He glared at Jackson, quick to follow the other men sneaking off.

“Stop complaining, just get Youngjae to patch you up when we get back.” Jackson rolled his eyes in retaliation, strolling off in the same direction, but not before peering back at the manor house with a devilish smirk tugging at his lips. “Let’s just see how long it takes lover boy over here to realise we have his girl.”

➳ ➳

“What?!”

Yoongi’s hands shook violently, his eyes obsidian with how much they had darkened, flames seemingly flickering and licking up in his gaze, his stare piercing right into Namjoon’s soul as he stood there, shifting from side to side.

Namjoon sighed, pushing his plum coloured hair back with his slender fingers, his own gaze finally returning to rest back on Yoongi’s smouldering gaze, watching him clench and unclench his jaw in complete fury.

“Say that again… I dare you,” Yoongi threatened, his voice laced with a terrifying tone that was only ever heard in moments like this, when those he loved were threatened. When you were threatened. He swore he was going to kill those sons of -

“I said, Y/N is missing, she’s nowhere to be found, not answering any calls or texts, and we found this in front of the safe house…” Namjoon slid the small white card across the table, Yoongi slowly picking it up and spinning it in his hands, crushing it in his fist in realisation.

It was a simple white card, a single black hexagon in the centre, circling the number ‘7’. Yoongi’s fist shook harder, as he grasped the crumpled card in his hands, wishing death on all those who had just crossed him.

“Those fucking… they’re going to fucking pay, believe me,” Yoongi spoke coldly again, his gaze fixated on the desk, cogs whirring in his head as he contemplated how to get you back safely, into his arms, into the manor house where he’d make sure no-one could ever dare to hurt you again.

“Taehyung managed to track the bug he planted in her vest, he thinks he has her location… of course, it’s not going to be easy to get her back, they probably have the place highly secured, security guards watching any possible entrance to the place…” Namjoon assessed all the possible layouts of your whereabouts, only to be interrupted out of his thoughts by the sound of a fist slamming into the table.

“Whatever it takes,” Yoongi breathed heavily in anger, furrowing his eyebrows in frustration, slowly rising from his seat. “We save her, and teach those motherfuckers a lesson, got it?”

Namjoon simply nodded, pulling out his phone. “I’ll inform the others, gather a team, we won’t let them get away with it.” He smiled warmly in reassurance, dimples indented into his face as he left the room, leaving Yoongi tossing a book at the wall with a frustrated sigh.

➳ ➳

“You fucking shitheads.”

You breathed heavily, your chest quickly rising and falling as you sat restrained in a rusty chair, the room dark apart from a dim light in the centre, shadows seemingly crawling across the walls as several pairs of eyes fixated on you. You hadn’t stopped cursing them out since they - with great difficulty - tied you to that chair, your eyes shooting daggers at them since then.

“Hyung, she’s so annoying, can we just let her go?” Bambam complained, earning a hit on the back of the head from Jaebum, much to his protests.

“Are you stupid? She’s our key to finally overtaking Yoongi’s gang, and taking all their shit,” Jackson leaned forward, a rather cheerful smile on his face considering the fact he was holding you hostage.

“You really think that’s going to happen?” You leaned forward in your seat, scoffing at the thought. Your mind had been racing with plans to get out of there, weighing your chances of escaping, and analysing the situation as you had been trained to do. While you kept them distracted with small talk, your hand was reaching as best as it could to pull out the spare dagger you always carried in your back pocket, smirking at their carelessness. Your hands were tied behind your back, allowing your body to shield what you were attempting to do, your hand finally clasping onto the cold blade. You began to hack at the duct tape keeping your hands together, the rest of your body remaining convincingly still, as you continued to talk at them.

“You think you can take over Yoongi’s gang that easily? You lot really are clueless as hell, huh?” You shook your head at them, your hands now free and working at the rope tied around you. You would’ve managed to free yourself, had the door not burst open, Yoongi standing there, leaning on the frame, one eyebrow cocked in curiosity. He was accompanied by his main men, along with some others, and you peered behind him at the carnage of bodies scattered in the hallway.

“So,” Yoongi nonchalantly swung his gun around his finger, his eyebrow still raised at their surprised faces. “You thought you could just kidnap my girlfriend and think I wouldn’t find her? Fucking idiots.” He yawned casually, stretching his arms out and pointing his gun right at Jackson. “Okay, I’m bored with you all.”

The first shot rang through the air, grazing Jackson’s arm as he dodged out of the way, and chaos soon ensued as Yoongi’s men and Jackson’s men began to shoot violently at each other, knives flying through the air, and bullets speeding. You managed to free yourself in all the mess, jumping up and kicking Jackson right in the crotch with your boots, causing him to collapse in pain.

Shots continued to fire through the air, Jaebum pressing his hand to a wound for the second time that day, except this time it was located right above his heart, his eyes rolling back into his head as his body collapsed, lying limp on the floor. Jackson cursed at the sight, clutching his own wounded arm as he tried to fire everyone down, and yet he stood almost alone, all his members either dead or too injured to fight.

“Give it up,” Yoongi pointed the gun at his head once again, tilting his head and cocking his eyebrow at him. “You won’t last a fucking day without the rest of your gang.” You helped up some of your own injured members during the exchange, helping to usher them out and glancing back at Yoongi.

Jackson glared at him, coughing up blood and groaning in pain as he clutched his arm, stumbling from the pain. He glanced around at the carnage around him, sighing as he realised he’d have to admit defeat.

“Let this be a warning to you, you fucking touch any of my gang again, and I’ll make sure you’re not standing either.” And with that, Yoongi walked out with you in tow, ducking expectantly as Jackson attempted to fire at his head, Yoongi spinning around and shooting his other arm too.

“You never learn, huh?”

A Zimbits iteration of the tried and true “bed sharing + clothes sharing + it’s really cold” triple trope (feat. bonus love confessions). 

Bitty wasn’t afraid of storms generally speaking, but this one was downright nasty. The team had walked past upended trees—big ones with years of life in them—on the way back from the store. Powerlines were downed. The heating in the house the hockey team had rented for what was meant to be a nice weekend getaway is non-existent because there’s no power.

Bitty lies in the single bed in the smallest room in the house in the pitch darkness and tries not to jump every time a tree bangs into the glass of his window. It’s all so loud.

So, no, Bitty isn’t scared of storms in general, but he’s scared of this storm. For good reason, it turns out, because not a minute after Bitty wishes he’d bailed out of the trip to stay on campus instead, a tree crashes through his roof.

Not the window he’d feared it coming through. The actual roof.

Bitty screams bloody murder.

The tree limb comes through almost all the way to the floor, and water starts dripping down it, heading toward the carpet. Thankfully, it didn’t crash land onto Bitty’s bed, where it would have skewered Bitty. Bitty’s body is thrumming with adrenaline; half terror, half relief.

The door to his room crashes open and Lardo and Shitty practically fall through.

“Fuck,” Lardo says, shining one of the torches they’d bought earlier at the tree.

“Goddamn,” Shitty states. “You alright, brah?”

Bitty tries to speak but it doesn’t quite work. He realises it’s because his body is locked up, he can’t even move his fingers apart. That’s going to be a problem.

“What’s going on?” Jack comes in behind Lardo and Shitty. A knight in rumpled sleep clothes. He surveys the scene, adding his own torch light to Lardo’s. He manages to look calm, and it helps Bitty to see it.

“You shouldn’t stay in here,” Jack deduces, looking over to Bitty, who is slowly encouraging his limbs into movement.

“No shit,” Lardo adds.

“You can take the floor in our room,” Shitty offers. “We’ll put some pillows down for you.”

“No.” Everyone turns to looks at Jack, surprised. “Stay with me.”

Keep reading

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Six

Summary: You have to break the news to Jared and, later, Genevieve. At a convention, Jared lets slip some information that gets you into an uncomfortable situation.
Jared x Reader (mentioned Jared x Gen, Jared x Reader x Gen), Genevieve, Jensen, Kathryn Newton (brief Matt and Rich)
Words: 6.2k+
Warnings: pregnancy, hella drama/angst, self-deprecating reader, uncomfortable confrontations
Beta: @blacksiren

IKYW Masterpost

Your name: submit What is this?

You had to get through another four hours of filming before you would get a chance to talk to Jared alone.

You apologised to the make-up team when you went back into the trailer, your face blotchy from being sick and your make-up ruined from crying.

The whole time you were on set, your mind was elsewhere. Specifically, you were wondering how to tell Jared that you were carrying his illegitimate, unplanned child.

Keep reading

The first time Damian had a nightmare in front of Dick they were still getting started as Batman and Robin. Dick didn’t hesitate a moment when he heard his little brother’s distress. He slid into bed next to Damian ignoring Tim’s voice in his head chanting how dangerous Damian was and pulled the boy close to him. Because that’s what Damian was. A little boy terrified in the night, and Dick knew exactly what to do. He sung quietly until Damian fell back into a deep restful sleep.

The first time Jason was around Damian during one of the kid’s nightmares was an odd time for them both. Jason had somehow ended up watching him when they both came down with a cold. Damian had fallen asleep on his couch watching some horror movie Bruce would never allow. Jason had no idea what to do at first when Damian started thrashing on the couch. But then the boy cried out for his mother and Jason’s instincts kicked in as he carefully lifted Damian into his arms whispering soothing words, his arms a tight comfort.

Damian’s first nightmare around Tim was completely different. They’d been out fighting together and it had somehow turned into a mid-patrol argument. Out of the blue Tim took a bullet for Damian. Damian who’d been crowing about being a blood son. Damian whose blood didn’t match Tim’s and had to watch as Bruce found someone else to donate. Damian who crawled up next to his brother because his nightmare was losing the family he’d worked so hard to gain. And when Tim woke up, half aware of himself half on painkillers he knew exactly what to do when he found Damian stubbornly pressed against his side. He wrapped an arm around his brother and whispered the words. “It’s ok”

Bruce hadn’t been back but a few weeks when Damian had a nightmare. Grayson had stopped living with them and Damian was at the Manor. Strange and foreign he’d never admit to jumping at shadows in the night. He stood outside his fathers room for a solid half hour before going in. He had no idea what to expect from the man. He’d known distance so far, the opposite of Grayson’s warmth, but there was no one else. So he climbed into Father’s huge bed and perched at the edge. Happy to be close at least. A minute later Father was getting up and Damian had squished his eyes closed against any anger. Instead strong arms picked him up then they were lying together, Damian pressed against his father’s chest, stiff as a board because Father had never done this before. A hand pressed to his hair and Damian realized that his father had done this before. With each of his children. So Damian let himself relax and curl closer to his father who knew exactly what to do to comfort him.

Petals pt. 2 - Bucky x Reader

PAIRING: Bucky x Reader

WORD COUNT: 7,900+

WARNING: references people being sick A LOT

➳ A soulmate & hanahaki (The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.) au

Author’s Note: So… this took me a while. Please be patient with me guys, I have a job and stuff now, I have an art blog as well. I’m busier than I once was lol. Still doesn’t mean I’m not sparing every minute I can for my Marvel bae’s. I suspect I’ll be writing a Tom Holland-Spiderman ficlet soon, so if you have any ideas feel free to send them ma way ^^ Anyway, enjoy!

It did not take you long to get drunk, your body conjuring a fervent desire for one night only to douse the petals in alcohol and keep them stuck to the bottom of your stomach as a result. It had become your addiction for the night. Every time you saw Steve, Shaon or Bucky you would drink. This lead to your night coming to a close in a very degrading way.

The celebration was coming to a close so most of the guests had already left, except for you who was spread eagle on a couch gurgling out drunken fueled mumbles. Natasha was the one who found you and she swiftly moved to hiding any evidence of your drunken stupor, knowing that if Steve were to find out he would become worried and too kind. It wasn’t that Steve’s kindness was a bad thing, it just was when it came to you; he would quite literally kill you with kindness, his caring nature would puncture your skin a thousand times and when the blade is inevitably pulled out yellow carnation petals would leak from your wounds rather than petals.

It wasn’t that Natasha cared or even recognised what you must have been feeling, she could just recall times when she had to hide her disease and you’d help. She was finally getting round to returning the multiple favours you’d supplied her.

You didn’t make it any easier for her though, you fought with all your might (which wasn’t all that much considering you were a drunkard) making the removal of your body from the party very time consuming.

She managed to get you to the doorway when both Steve and Sharon appeared, ready to say their goodbyes and give thanks that you and Nat had come to the celebration.

The surprise attack left Natasha with very few options. You were a ticking time bomb. Words crafted by shards were settled on your tongue, ready to be thrown out so their sharp edges could bring damage to everyone in the room. If Natasha could feel anger than you would have been severely harmed.

Thankfully a white knight entered the doorway at the perfect time (or rather, a maroon knight that was more of a soldier than a knight) eyes scanning over all the faces and evaluating the situation.

“There you are,” he blurted out, eyes all turning to look at him. Their uncertain gazes matching the diffident feeling that settled inside of him, the only outward sign of this emotion being the way he tightly clenched his metal fist, endangering the life of his car keys. “Let’s go.”

As Bucky stepped forward to take your hand so did Steve, getting a hold of your floppy limb first and vocalising the confusion that everyone seemed to be feeling. “Go where?”

You might have been able to afford some confusion over the situation if you hadn’t been taken by Steve’s hand being flush against yours.

“To hers. I promised her earlier that I’d take her home seen as I haven’t drunk anything.” The lie passed through his lips stiffly, feeling like lumps on his tongue. “Problem?” He challenged, eyes gazing at Steve warily.

The mx of alcohol and Steve’s hand had sent you into a different world that kept you unaware of what was happening. Your feeble heart was racing frenziedly and you couldn’t stop the flowers from growing inside your stomach, aware that the urge was only going to grow and get stronger the longer you had the physical contact with Steve.

But he was so there. His hand was as expected, the fingers large and bringing a warmth to whatever they touched. And they were soft. Maybe it was the super soldier serum, maybe it was because your view of him was warped because of your one-sided connection or maybe it was because he was Steve, but either way he had perfect hands. Nowadays nobody had hands like his, people had calluses and scars, red welts from hard work and beneath their nails was grime that no amount of washing would get to. Steve’s hands were smooth and soft, like an infant’s.

Most nights your mind is filled with dreams of those hands searching your skin and the reminder of those teams is enough to bring tears to your eyes.

A deep exhale suddenly escaped your lips when you felt a warmth against your free hand. You became completely frozen as Bucky’s fingers brushed yours, grasping them hesitantly, softly, almost afraid of your reaction as he tried to convey some sort of reassurance. The touch brought you back to reality and the crushing in your chest was not so heavy anymore, strangely alleviating as his hold turned firmer and more confident.

Bucky’s hand felt like sandpaper or perhaps stone, rough and unfinished but strong, and not as cold as one may be led to believe. You could easily imagine that a pinprick to his hand would be unfeeling.

He guided you out the door, gently but at a pace far too swift, not giving you the chance to say goodbye to Steve or Sharon. This was a good thing.

As soon as the two of you were outside he dropped your hand, the action making you pause and stand in one spot, eyes watching his figure continue down a path until he reached a car and turned back to face you. “Are you coming?”

Feeling far too anxious to argue with him you nodded your head and began to follow him, the only issue was that the drunken haze turned the straight line he’d walked down into a torrential path that curved in extraordinary ways which your feet simply could not coordinate through. The result of this being you tripping over your own feet.

Reacting as any super assassin would, he instinctively stepped forward and grabbed your arms, pulling you back up so instead you fell forward into his chest.

Your chin rested against his shoulder, ars limp in his stronghold and body rigid against his.

And then it all came up, the flourish of movement for those few seconds had been too much and it caused the flowers to come up. Thankfully you’d regained enough control of your body in confusion to move away from Bucky before releasing your torments.

There was something different about these petals.

The usually incandescent yellow was a grimy borderline green shade, the petals themselves wrinkled and bent. All shows of softness gone. All signs of divinity gone and that was because there was nothing beautiful about this version of you. The version of you that was spoiled by alcohol and afflicted with the need to push down your true self. Your glitch self.

At least Bucky was there, hands - that had become accustomed to your body after only five minutes - placed themselves on your back and rubbed smooth circles. You thought you heard him whisper something along the lines of: “You’re going to be okay.”  But you ignored him with ease as your own sobs began to fill your ears.


Bucky had eventually carried you into his car. Even after you’d finished ridding your stomach of the poisoned petals, you felt far too sickened and saddened by the alcohol. With your delirious mind Bucky had suspected you were about to curl up on the side of the road and so he’d seen no other option. He’d grabbed a hold of you bridal style and put you inside of his car.

Your crying lasted another ten minutes but you began to hush eventually, the sobs turning to cries turning to whimpers turning to hiccups. When you became silent Bucky did not speak to you, in fact the rest of the ride was just endless silence except for half way through when he realised that he actually had no idea where you lived.

Bucky didn’t seem to you like the type to own a car. You could envision with with a motorcycle or perhaps a sports car - from what you could tell SHIELD would pay their agents pretty well, especially if they were a superhero. It’s not like they didn’t deserve to live comfortably after facing uncomfortable things like Hydra or Ultron - but this car was just a frumpy red one, the kind a twenty-year-old hipster would buy as it was all he’d earn from his job at a cafe and the earnings he’d get for the writing he did spare time. It all just seemed so humble for him.

Throughout the car ride it felt like you were both paying far too much attention to each other, taking glances whenever possible and musing over what they were thinking or feeling. And eventually that became frustrating for you.

The car slowed to a halt outside your apartment building which seemed to have changed before your very eyes into a haven, somewhere that would save you from all the insanity you’d undergone through the night.

Bucky got out of the car first, confusing you and causing you to rush to get yourself out as fast as possible. What you did not realise was that Bucky was enacting a habit he had back from before Hydra got him, a habit he’d all but forgotten about as this was his first casual encounter with a woman since being freed from the insanity Hydra had caused him.

He watched with wide eyes, the uncomfortable feeling that had been clenching his belly since the beginning of the night now tightening. Meanwhile you walked passed him with your eyes fixed on the ground, avoiding his gaze as best you could. The only glimpse of him you got was his shoes and you were more than happy to have that be the last thing you see of him; but then you reminded yourself of what had happened, what the super soldier had seen and all of a sudden you just couldn’t let him slip away. If you were to let him leave knowing the things he did than he may blurt them out to Steve.

“I know what you think you saw tonight,” you started, voice coming out worn after being harmed during your puking session. “But it really isn’t what you think. I mean, yes I am a glitch, but I’m not broken or anything.” Lie. “I’ve actually been dealing with it quite well.” Lie. “It’s just tonight I had a bit too much to drink, that’s all it was.” At least that part had been kind of true. “If you could just keep it between us then that would be great-”

“White lillies.” Bucky interrupted you, eyes not moving away from yours even though they did everything in their power to avoid his. You’d taken to staring at lips, though they didn’t particularly interest you like Steve’s they were still nice to look at. For someone who had been repeatedly encased in ice for most of his adult life, they looked warm. The two pillows that were almost always put together in a straight line were a pinkish colour, their colour so similar to the shade of a rose that in they could easily have been mistaken for two petals. They really did not suit the rough exterior he had, with his stubbled chin and the bags under his eyes. And yet, it all came to complete something dark, mysterious and oddly attractive.

“W-What?” You stuttered out, becoming bewildered by the thoughts going through your head and his sudden interruption.

“My flowers are white lilies.” He showed no emotion as he confessed this and because of that it took you a few moments to fully understood what he was confessing. And then it clicked.

He was a glitch.

“Oh.” You didn’t really know how to respond.

You’d seen the ways others would respond to glitches, once in a restaurant whilst you were with Steve and a few other friends actually. The waitress had that familiar red print on her wrist. Even though she’d wandered up to the table with a beaming smile and a welcoming behaviour, everyone’s eyes had just been drawn to that unwanted display on her wrist which announced to the world her biggest issues. You could never forget the way Steve had gaped at the waitress, and sometimes you’d even have nightmares where you’d be stood in the waitresses place and facing the judgemental stare off of him instead.

And it hadn’t just been your table that had been rude to her for something she had no control over. As she’d walked away after gaining your orders someone on a table near yours yelled out an order for a drink, with no petals in it. The mocking words had earned him unrestrained laughter from the friends on his table as well as some chuckles from others spotted in the restaurant. Thankfully no one that you were sat with.

It hadn’t been difficult to notice the waitresses robotic movements and vacant eyes, her smile too wide and too practiced. Just like yours.

You didn’t want Bucky to think that you were judging him as harshly as the others but at the same time you just didn’t know the appropriate way you’d want someone to respond. And so you left, running up into your apartment and slamming the door shut so Bucky wouldn’t be able to run after you, even though you doubted he would do such a thing.

When you got into your apartment you raced to get to the window and tried to see if Bucky was still in the parking lot. He was. For a moment it just seemed like he was going to stand there, but then he raised his metal hand and brushed it through his hair. The shadows hid his expression from you, making you curse under your breath as you were desperate to know if you’d accidentally insulted him or something. You really hadn’t intended to.

After that night the memory stuck with you for quite a while. You’d replay your response over and over again in your head, causing red to tint your cheeks. Sometimes you’d even verbally groan and whine about how stupid your behaviour had been. Soon enough it all became unbearable, but you still didn’t want to have to face him again and so you did the next best thing.

You tried not to think too much about your actions when you arrived at Natasha’s home, knocking on her door and probably interrupting her doing some work stuff seen as she opened the door with a sharp glare nestled deep in her eyes. You didn’t hesitate when asking for Bucky’s phone number, trying to ignore the embarrassment that was slowly building up inside of you as she gave you a mildly curious look. You were glad she didn’t ask about it though, barely exchanging words with you whilst you saved the number into your phone. You said a quick thank you and quickly left to return to your own apartment.

But even during the bus ride home it was completely useless. No matter where you were, bus, bath or bed, your fingers simply refused to type a message and so instead you watched as days passed and you spent them wallowing in your own thoughts, the thoughts usually relating to that mortifying memory of what occured with Bucky. You tried to drown yourself in your job to distract you from the thoughts and it seemed to be working pretty well until on one Friday morning you received a text from Steve.

Hey Y/N, I’m clearing the last of my stuff out of my apartment and was hoping you could come and help me. I find some cool stuff you might be interested in.

Though your fingers had not texted Bucky when you wanted, they decided they would text Steve that absolutely you would be there even though a part of you wished to be on an island far away from the man you’d never be able to have.


You were already acquainted with the apartment building Steve lived in, having been there many times beforehand. You always ended up arriving early, your eagerness to see Steve making you more than punctual. As per usual you tried to walk slowly (climbing the stairs rather than taking the elevator) but when you arrived he still greeted you by saying: “Ah, you got here early!”

The reaction from you was automatic, sweaty palms, a giant smile and an ache in your belly that was both painful and pleasant. You stepped into his room when he permitted you to. “You probably won’t notice much of a difference, most of the furniture already belonged to the apartment. I’m still emptying out my room though. Thank you, again, for coming to help me.”

Steve’s voice was warm and chipper as he led you towards his bedroom which looked creepily empty, his bed and desk were still there but there but that seemed to be all, in the middle of the room were six carelessly laid boxes, some of them open and revealing clothes or trinkets. You even spotted the Captain America action figure you’d jokingly bought him years ago, a gift you thought he would have thrown out a long long time ago.

Not wishing to concentrate too long on the memories which hold far too much importance to you and far too little importance to Steve, you think up a conversation. “Where’s Bucky?” You ask about his (now ex) roommate whilst following him towards one of the boxes, you push the thoughts of your shared night with his roommate to the corners of your mind, knowing you’d just feel embarrassment. Steve crouched down and you imitated him, eyes becoming fixated on his large hands and the black print of Sharon Carter’s name on his wrist.

“In his room.” Steve shrugged, sending you a resigned look whilst his lips stretched up into a saddened smile for his best friend. Bucky had said he was fine with living in separate places, said he was fine now, but almost everyone knew it was a lie. “I wanted to spend some more time with him seen as I’m moving out and all but apparently he still prefers to lock himself up. I know he’s going to miss me, though. I won’t leave until he says it.” Steve’s chuckle makes you smile contentedly, heart beating placidly at the sight of his blissful expression.

“I’m sure he will miss you,” you agreed with him, laughing along.

“If he doesn’t then I’ll just miss you for him,” you added, biting your lip at the way your voice came out softer than intended. Steve didn’t seem to notice as he continued to open the box right in front of him, his eyes gleam excitedly.

“I’m not going that far anyway,” Steve muses once the laughing had ended, and then his concentration fell onto the box in front of him. It was an open one with a book sitting on top of the rest of the stuff which had just messily been thrown in. “Anyway, this was the reason why I wanted you to come over, do you recognise it?”

He lifted up the book and it clicked instantly in your mind exactly what it was. Another present that you’d given to Steve which wasn’t a joke for once, it was an album of pictures you’d made with your two hands, believing that when you were old and grey and married to Steve it would be something nice to look back on. That was before your name turned red of course.

You had no time to prepare yourself before Steve shuffled closer towards you, beginning to flick through the multi colored pages which were decorated with memorabilia. You’d often go on day trips with Steve to explore America and get him reacquainted so it was mostly a collection of those adventures. “That was my favourite,” he suddenly said, resting on a page which was dedicated to your adventures on this random beach you’d found. You ended up camping out on it together, just the two of you as it was basically deserted excepted for a wreckage of a very old looking ship which was also photographed.

Steve takes out the picture you’d taken together which beheld a younger version of you who could be seen smiling colorfully as you hold a humongous seashell between your hands. You barely pay attention to the image though, instead you are too busy noticing the way Steve is staring at your picture, eyes deep as he slides them from your past version to the blank mask of your present self. “You looked so happy,” he muttered, voice full of emotion as he put the picture back down. You could feel a flush rise up your neck as a million thoughts raced your mind, eyes trying to find a hidden gleam in his eyes that was probably not there and never going to be.

All of a sudden he cleared his throat, closing the book and putting it back in the box. “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. It’s about Bucky.”

“Is he okay?” You wondered, relieved at the change of topic as that sharp pang in your chest was starting to fade again. You unconsciously put a hand on top of your belly, beginning to feel the fluttery petals heavy in your stomach as you waited for Steve to continue.

“He is. I just can’t help but feel a little worried,” he glanced back at the door of the room, making sure that Bucky wasn’t anywhere close enough in the vicinity to overhear the conversation you were about to have. “I insisted on finding him another roommate so that he’s not alone all the time but he insisted I don’t.” Steve sighed, hands beginning to fidget in his lap, “Bucky is someone who can get by perfectly on his own, but he’s also the kind of person who shouldn’t be left alone for too long. It’s just, with what happened at the engagement party, it seems you two are kind of close.”

You nod your head, not letting on just how much you actually understand Bucky’s situation.

“I’m afraid he’ll lock himself up again when I leave. So I was wondering if you could check up on him? From time to time? I don’t mean everyday, and I’m only asking you because you’re the closest one to him after me. He doesn’t really have friends-”

“Of course I can,” you agreed immediately, returning the hopeful smile that Steve directed at you after hearing your reassuring words. The way his eyes had flooded with contentment made you feel both gratified and hurt, and the way you suddenly realised how you’d probably agree to any of his words was frightening. It was painfully obvious, how you would do absolutely anything to keep that gleeful look on his face at all times.

“Thank you.” Steve thanked you softly and you just shrugged, not really knowing a suitable response. It had yet to hit you that you’d just signed up to spend time with a man who you felt extremely uncomfortable around, your mind too absorbed with the fact that you were making Steve happy.

“It’s fine. Anything for you,” the words spilled out too easily and it made your heart race erratically, nervousness only growing sharper when Steve let out a laugh.

“You’re one of my best friends Y/N,” he suddenly said, hand reaching out and squeezing your shoulder. You hoped he didn’t notice the way you tensed up under his touch. “Ah, I’m sorry, I guess moving out turns me really emotional.”

You swallowed down the lump (or petals, you weren’t entirely sure) in your throat, your fingers brushing your chest as a way to try to ease the clenching. “You’re just moving a couple blocks away.”

“Don’t tell Sharon but I actually prefer smaller apartments. The one she picked is too big.” He said quietly, as if trying to keep it a secret even though you were the only ones in the room. You still smiled at his playful eyes, feeling even more petals swirling uncomfortably as you tried to keep them down.

“I won’t,” you choked out a laugh, a strange noise that barely passed as a chuckle. Steve, as charmingly oblivious as he always was, only continued to smile, staring curiously as you suddenly got up. “I’m just going to pop to the bathroom.”

“Sure! You can help me carry this box to my car when you get out.” You nodded at his chirpy words, trying to keep your feet from running as you got out of Steve’s empty bathroom.

Much like how they did a couple of days ago, the petals flew out of your mouth the moment you stepped inside the small bathroom and you hugged the toilet almost desperately as the petals piled up progressively. You soaked on the temporary numbness as the familiar shaking took over your body, eyes unfocusing as you tried to fix them on the colourful petals. They were a beauty that you’d never stop marvelling, so strange and dangerously enthralling. You actually found it rather ironic how they were the outcome of pain from unrequited love, a sharp and merciless feeling that couldn’t compare to the smoothness and gentleness of the petals. You took one into your hand, silently wondering why you couldn’t be as beautiful as them, still coughing slightly as you waited for the heaving to finally vanish.

“Oh…”

You turned at the sudden noise that had been so quick and soft that you weren’t really sure how you were able to hear it in the middle of your loud thoughts. Your eyes widened when you spotted Bucky’s surprised one’s. Your heart skipped a beat when you noticed that you’d foolishly left the door open in your panicked rush to reach the toilet and empty out the petals.

He was holding onto the doorknob tightly, staring down at your limp form which was still hugging the toilet. It was at that moment when another wave hit you and more yellow petals came spilling out of your mouth, no way for you to restrain them as Bucky continued to gaze openly. You tried to control yourself from hurling again, mortification flooding you thickly as you looked up at his frozen figure. You couldn’t help but think about how this was the second time you’d inconvenienced him with your illness. He was still staring, metal arm gripped in a fist whilst the rest of his body seemed unsure as to what to do. “I- do you need-” words seemed to stutter out of his lips that he had no control of.

“Bucky!” Steve’s voice made Bucky snap his head towards a spot which you couldn’t see, all you could do was be acutely aware of your heart thumping so strongly that it barely allowed you to hear the conversation outside of the bathroom. “Have you seen Y/N? She told me she’d go to the bathroom, but it’s taken her a while…”

He doesn’t finish his thought as Bucky is quick to reply, “no.” He slipped out the lie with a quick easiness that reminded you of your own regular blank facade. “I haven’t seen her.”

“Ah… strange. Well, I’ll take this box to the car, and give her a call later. I’ll see you tomorrow though, okay?”

Bucky nods mutely, eyes fixed on a faraway spot where you hear fading steps that stop when the main door is opened and closed shut. You couldn’t help but exhale in relief, curling your hands into fists as you grimaced at the cold sweat that coats your palms profusely.

The brunette is still there in the doorway and you’re not quite sure whether to be relieved or unnerved. “They’re very pretty,” he said.

You looked up in surprise, noticing his eyes are fixed on the petals that were scattered on your lap. You snort, grabbing one of them and giving it a dry look. “Thanks.”

“Is it Steve?” You winced at his blunt question, choosing not to answer as you diverted your eyes from his wide, curious gaze. Eventually, after a few awkward seconds, he left. Leaving you to stare at the empty space outside of the slightly opened door in deep confusion.

Just as you started to pick up the petals strewed on the floor Bucky returns, steps hesitant as he slowly entered the bathroom with a drink between his hands. His eyes were still wide and nervous as he crouched down, joining you on the floor  whilst silently extending his hands towards you. “Lemonade,” he explained, gnawing on his bottom lip dubiously. “It really helps with… that. Stops the coughing.”

You continued to stare at him strangely. He looked almost like a scared child even though he had a metal arm, long brown hair and a stubble covering half of his face. Bucky exhaled shakily then, lips curved into an unexpected and almost embarrassed smile.

“Thank you,” you mumbled. The atmosphere was heavily awkward as you took the drink from his hands, fingers connecting briefly before you lifted the glass up to your lips.

You were unable to make eye contact as you drunk the liquid as fast as you can, not really sure how to behave in front of a stranger that held one of your deepest darkest secrets. There was no point in calling him a friend as the two of you had barely exchanged actual sentences with each other.

Bucky gently took the glass from your hand once you were done, and as he did it there was no reticence or disgust in his movements when he started to pick up the petals from the floor. You helped him clean up the bathroom, the silence turning somewhat comfortable when you finally flushed away all the evidence. It didn’t really hit you until you were done, breaths turning shaky as you both finally get up from the floor. Your mouth felt like bursting with hundreds of questions as you walked out of the bathroom, not really knowing what to do except to stand awkwardly in the middle of the hallway.

Neither of you managed to actually start up a question, and so you just stood there quietly, wondering about his soulmate, eyes inevitably travelling down to the metal arm and wondering if that’s where the name had once belonged. He was wearing a black sweater that looked wide and cozy, big enough for him to cover his hands easily as he pulled at the sleeves self consciously the moment he noticed you staring.

He put them behind his back then, making you blush in embarrassment before looking up at him, eyes connecting. You tensed up when Bucky finally opened his mouth to speak, “she was called Velma,” he revealed.

“You don’t have to tell me,” you quickly responded, knowing from experience how uncomfortable he must have felt. “We can just pretend we don’t know or… or something.”

“No, no. It’s- It’s okay.” Bucky’s reply was just as awkward as you had been, his exterior finally showing something other than stoney expressions. He slipped in his hands into his jean pockets and for a second he allowed himself to move his eyes away, to show signs of embarrassment. “Do you, um,” he looked up again, licking his lips which had become uncomfortably dry, “do you want to stick around here for a bit, maybe talk? I can make you some food if you want, no, wait there’s no food, I can buy us take away though.”

“Ah, takeaway. Nothing like junk food to mend a broken heart, right?” You mused jokingly, a small smile appearing on your lips.

Soon the edges of Bucky’s own lips were bending upward so they matched the expression on your own. “Then let’s consider it like a band-aid over a deep wound,” he said, “a petty attempt that makes it seem like we’re trying.” He reached out and grabbed the cell phone from the kitchen side. It was a nokia phone and you could remember lending it to Steve on the first day Bucky moved in with him. Steve didn’t want to give Bucky an iPhone or something too complicated as it was going to be Bucky’s first cell phone.

He shook it in your direction, asking you one more time wordlessly if you wanted to stay.

No, you didn’t want to stay. But here he was, a man that had only been able to open up to Steve so far, willingly peeling away a layer of his iron skin and allowing you to see the part of him society forced him to keep hidden. How could you possibly say no to him after that? Knowing full well from experience that he was like a door, the kind that automatically locked on it’s own once shut. To leave would be to shut the door and have it lock on you forever, the key left inside.

“Pizza good with you?”

He nodded his head and allowed you to call up and order because you had a better idea over what was good around Steve’s apartment. During the wait you talked about small things with Bucky, things like the cat you always see outside your apartment and the flower pots outside of Bucky’s window on the fire escape, he didn’t know who put them there but he liked them and he started watering them. You were in the middle of talking about Bucky’s favourite movie - which also happened to be the first one he watched, surprisingly it was Batman, he seemed to like the story of a man trying to be good and having the world being against that, that’s when a knock sounded at the door.

Bucky was the one to go and get it, he returned holding two pizza boxes and a big box that was leaking fries out of the side. It held probably more food than the two of you could have consumed, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to spend the night trying.

“Here it is,” he announced, “our petty attempt to make it seem like we’re trying.” He referenced what was said earlier, taking a greasy pizza between his fingers. There was no hurt in his words, in fact he spoke like he was making a really funny joke. There was resignation as well, the kind that told you he’d stopped pitying himself a long time ago.

“We’re so sad,” you blurted out, a breathy chuckle escaping your lips. He joined in with your laughter, snickering under his breath before taking another huge bite. “So, tell me more about Velma then.” You couldn’t help but wonder about the aforementioned character. You’d measured his reaction carefully after mentioning her in case the subject was too uncomfortable for him. Bucky barely stiffened, finishing his third slice and sending you a quick, curious glance.

“You never answered my question,” he pointed out, making you recall earlier when he found you on the bathroom floor and asked you if it was Steve. During that moment you weren’t able to find it in yourself to answer his question, let alone formulate the words to reply. “Do you want some french fries?”

You shrugged, thoughts of keeping a balanced diet completely gone as Bucky moved the box over towards you, allowing you to take a handful. “This is so gross, but I’m not complaining,” you said, imitating him as you threw more than one of the fries into your mouth. “It is Steve, by the way,” you added after you swallowed, feeling your heart stutter when the words came out. “But you probably knew that already.”

Bucky nodded without hesitation, “it is quite obvious.”

You’d blushed hotly at his plain words, shoulders automatically slumping, “Natasha me told that too. But I’m not really worried about them noticing, their soulmates turn them blind-”

“-to anything around them, yeah.” He took the words right out of your mouth, sharing a silent look that spoke more than your mouths ever could. You quickly averted your eyes, clearing your throat at the sudden feeling of intimacy.

“Tell me about your soulmate,” you probed again and that time you were successful, because Bucky’s cheeks slowly turned a richer colour as a faint pink spread to his ears and neck, and it made you wonder if your eyes shined the way his own did when you ever thought about Steve.

“She was called Velma, and… she isn’t alive anymore. Her name appeared on my wrist before Hydra got to me.” He explained, voice turning quieter as he pronounced the words delicately. “Hydra cut my arm off that had her name on it and then… I could never forget about her, no matter what Hydra did to me, she was my soulmate after all, but I guess you know how painful that is. Not being able to forget and also not being able to love.”

“Yeah, I do.” Of course you knew. No one would ever be able to understand as much as you, understand that feeling of loving but hurting at the same time, of desiring to give your soulmate your bare heart even though you’re perfectly aware of the fact that they have no use for it and they never will. It’s a strange, complicated feeling that’s hard to put into words; but Bucky understood, you understood and that girl at the restaurant probably did too.

“Hydra didn’t just take my arm, they took her name. They took her name and all they’ve left me with is white lilies. I can’t even remember that much about her, I just remember how much I loved her.” He tried to laugh about it all, but the fake chuckle came out just as a dry, choked up sound which clutched at your heart. He swallowed, pushing away the unfinished plate of french fries. “Nevermind.”

“I’m sorry.” They were the simplest words and the most suited to this situation. There was nothing else you could do  other than say those words because it wasn’t like you could go bring Velma back from the dead. “I’m sorry you have to feel this way, it’s the curse of being a glitch.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed, angrily wiping a stray tear that had dared to try and float it’s way down his chin. “We’re biologically programmed to love and suffer. Or should I say we’re biologically programmed to be the most dramatic species ever.”

You couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Bucky’s statement, he certainly wasn’t far from the truth and it made you wonder if that was how everyone else perceived your kind. If they all just saw you as longtime sufferers that lived for delusions, dreaming and realities that were far too ridiculous to be taken seriously.

“Well, we can at least try to avoid that drama today,” you said, getting up and going over to the DVD stand in the frontroom and picking one of the very few that had been left. It was an action  movie, the only one left there as Steve had taken the rest and left only romance movies and some of the disney ones you’d accidentally left over at his whilst trying to get him into them.

An hour later and you and Bucky were somewhat snuggled up in the couch, somehow the two of you had managed to get closer, shoulders now touching and your head could have easily moved to rest in the crook of his neck which it threatened to do as sleep began to weigh on you. You looked over to Bucky to see how he was faring with the rather dull action movie that was playing and he actually seemed to be enjoying it.

He was still munching on the pizza which you’d given up on before him, alternating between eating and taking sips of lemonade (a drink he seemed to have stocked up on, and for good reason). His blue eyes were wide and focused, deeply concentrating on the movie and the sight inevitably made you smirk fondly. It had become quite clear near the beginning on the movie that Bucky had actually seen it before as he managed to recall some of the lines as they were being spoken and he didn’t jump when random explosions happened like you had.

“You look like a kid right now,” you mused, voice mixing in with the characters dialogue in the movie. Bucky’s eyes slid from the movie to throw you a glare which had you quickly raising your hands in defeat, “I never said it was a bad thing.” You tried to defend, “with our shitty situations it’s awesome that you have things like moves to make you happy, you know?”

Bucky’s glare vanished but he remained serious as he put his lemonade down onto a table beside the couch, he mulled over your words for a few seconds before replying. “Happiness? I don’t think I know what that feels like, not yet. But I still like to try and search for it.”

You both shared a look then and you noticed the way his deep eyes turned warm and sympathetic. It was still a stare that left you slightly perplexed, especially after getting use to being part of the most misunderstood group of humans in the entire world.

“I should probably do the same,” you responded after a few seconds, finishing the conversation as the loud noises of the move forced you to focus on it again. Even though it was an action movie you spend most of it unable to keep a straight face, giggling to yourself every time Bucky would repeat lines and throw spoilers seconds before it would happen on the screen.

“Are you sure they aren’t your soulmate?” You asked, pointing out the main protagonist of the movie right before the movie finished.

Bucky began to stretch out his limbs. “Hmm, I wish he was. Him, or you.” He pronounced the words so casually that their meaning didn’t hit you until a few seconds later. And the sudden blush was hot in your face as the embarrassment crawled up your spine, the flush only spread quicker when you noticed Bucky’s own blank stare and the way his cheeks were dusted in traces of red.

Your body seemed to react faster than your own befuddled mind, choosing to laugh it off as your awkward chuckles cut through the sudden atmosphere that had thickened thanks to Bucky’s statement. “I’m in second place then? I see it is,” you said, hoping that your voice came out natural enough.

Bucky could only smile in relief, getting up and started to pick up the rest of the takeaway. Together you’d managed to eat one and a half pizza and an entire box of fries, as well as one bottle of lemonade. “Come and help me clean this up then. Steve thinks I’m going to let this place fall apart and I have to prove a point.”

It was way too late when you finally finishing making the living room looking and immaculate and Bucky insisted that you stayed the night considering there was a spare bed. Even though it was slightly awkward at first, the bond that had formed between you two was growing strong enough to push away all that embarrassment and so you remained in that living room with Bucky for the rest of the night, talking with ease about things that you’d always keep netted to your tongue, disguising the words with silence instead so no one would ever find out about you.

“So what do we talk about now?” He wondered out loud, closing his eyes tightly as he rubbed at them, leaning his head on the back of the couch.

“I don’t know,” you laid next to him, placing your legs onto the couch with your feet pressing against his side. In your position you were able to see the moon from the window, it’s dull glow reaching inside of the room and reflecting itself on almost every surface of the room. “We can talk about anything though, we’re both glitches so there’s nothing to hide.”

“I don’t know about that. I think holding myself back has turned way too normal for me to let go,” he yawned deeply, stretching his real arm out, making you wonder the mechanics on his metal arm. “I have an idea,” he suddenly said, reaching out with his arms to grab a hold of your legs so he could hoist them onto his lap and allowed you to get a little more comfortable. “Let’s sleep.”

“Here?” He didn’t respond. “Sure,” you said, trying to close your eyes as you leaned back onto the armrest. It was a challenge for you to contain the urge to fidget as you blinked up at the ceiling. The silence was too unnerving and you found yourself staring at the open windows, quietly remembering the events of the day as you bit into your bottom lip hesitantly.

“Hey, Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you really mean what you said earlier, about me, being your soulmate?” You blushed faintly when you felt him moving against your side, making you feel slightly guilty at the fact that you’d made all trace of sleep fade from Bucky’s brain.

“Why do you ask?” He asked softly, voice slightly rough and sleepy.

“I’m just… curious, I guess.” You don’t tell him that it’s probably the energy that’s coursing through your veins that’s making you talk, unable to fall unconscious as you waited for Bucky to continue the conversation.

“I mean, if I had the choice… you’re pretty cool, I guess.”

You can only smile at the awkwardness in his tone, biting your lip again. “But I’m not Velma.”

“And I’m not Steve.”

Those were good points, though also slightly upsetting points. There was a brief silence for a few second, and the sigh that left your mouth was too loud in the stilled atmosphere. “Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if there might be another way to fix this, one that isn’t the surgery.”

“You mean like falling in love with someone else?” Bucky caught onto your words instantly and your heart inexplicably stuttered in a strange nervousness.

“Yeah, why not? Why not love two people at the same time?”

You felt him move again and afterward you finally dared to turn your head towards him, immediately finding his eyes staring back towards you. Your words seemed to linger in the air as you stared at each other, thoughts becoming muddles as you scanned his face in deep curiosity. You couldn’t deny how attractive he truly was. Even though all of your love and attraction was only pointed at Steve Rogers, you weren’t blind to how Bucky possessed some naturally alluring features.

But there were no butterflies in your stomach and your heart didn’t race the way it always would when you thought about Steve. In that moment it was almost frustrating and you had this sudden ridiculous desire to want Bucky but being completely unable to do it.

“Can we kiss?”

Tags: @adidabach @nikolanna @caitlinr03 @napping-ghost @ex-bookjunky @brokengirl552 @thelostswan @anasweettj @blaceshira @chynagirl13 @kianya-loves @fangirlingandcrying @monsis-world @mamacta83701 @gingerbatchwife @cami23593 @thebookisbtr @the-witching-hours12-3 @hollycornish @feelmyroarrrr @ipaintmelodies @yep-im-that-girls @the-fastest-mutant-sith @heytherepartner @calicokitkat @satansknittingclub @hollycornish @sebstanwassup @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @breenieweenie

(confession: I don’t know how you actually tag people, sorry if I did it wrong)

what 2 do | (m)

 pairing: kim seokjin x reader,  roommate! jin, college! jin
•  genre/warnings: smut, fluff, slight angst (more like over dramatics), 
•  words: 13,759
→ summary: what happens when the college roommate you thought was definitely going to be girl turns out to be the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever encountered in all your years of life? It’s a stupid misunderstanding on your part, but maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad after all…
•  note. this was a request from @immawhalien95 which took me an age to write haha, but it’s finally done and my plan to take over tumblr with Jin fics is taking shape…
•  p.s. listen to I feel you by wonder girls

Keep reading

The Comfort of home

Originally posted by moan-s

Sometimes we just need a break to restore us This tea is a great way to relax with some warming herbs to brighten your day You can make this with water but its even better with apple cider or apple juice 

For each cup of liquid tie up the following in a tea strainer or a bit of cheesecloth 

1 teaspoon cinnamon (or one stick) 

1 teaspoon nutmeg (Fresh ground is best)

1 teaspoon allspice 

1 teaspoon cardamom (or 5-8 cardamom pods)

Heat the water (or juice/cider) to near boiling. Float the spices (in a tea strainer or a bit of cheesecloth) in the water for 5 to 10 minutes. You can add 1 tablespoon lemon juice and honey to taste. Drink, taking the blessings and restorative warmth. These herbs all have strong associations with health, prosperity, and well-being. 

Dark Nights (Part 3)

Originally posted by spnfans

Summary: Dean brings the reader back to the bunker where they realize the Alphas are a much bigger problem then they thought…

Dark Nights Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 2,800ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Some thoughtful, protective Alpha Dean for ya…


Keep reading

Imagine Damon Salvatore kissing you

You sat on the edge of the bathroom counter, describing the endless day you had, that included Caroline dragging you to every possible store looking for the perfect dress for her date with Stefan. Damon was hardly listening, as he leaned forward in the tub and splashed water in your direction. You stopped talking and pouted with fake annoyance.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do the romanced companions (+Maxson, Glory, and Des???) sleep with the Sole? Like in what position? I'm in desperate need of cuteness :)

Ada will not be in this reaction as I imagine (and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her do it in the game?) she stays standing up to sleep. Other than that, I hope this was what you were after Nonnie, enjoy <3


Cait:

‘Liberty Lovers’

Cait liked to be near Sole at night when she slept- she liked the body heat, but she didn’t particularly like touching at night- she much rather preferred to be an arm’s width apart. Sole didn’t particularly mind not touching at night- some nights got rather humid, and they found that if they fell asleep touching, then they’d end up all sweaty and gross by morning.

Usually they’d end up at the opposite ends of the bed, not touching but close enough to know that the other was there for each other.


Curie:

‘The Tangle’

Curie and Sole usually ended up going to bed at different times- Sole was often up strategizing ways to make the Commonwealth more safe and Curie was usually up researching different medical things.

When they woke up in the morning they would usually end up a tangled mess in bed- arms wrapped around one another, legs tangled together and foreheads just touching as they slept, the duvet thrown carelessly over the top of the pair.


Danse:

‘Big Spoon’

Danse and Sole’s relationship was based around Danse protecting Sole- when out travelling within the commonwealth, when in battle, when in one of the safest settlements within the Commonwealth, just having some down time.

So for Danse to be the big spoon was to be expected- even in sleep, (only when they were in a safe place, if not they would take turns to be on watch) Danse wanted to protect Sole, to make sure that they were safe, no matter the circumstances.


Deacon:

‘Little Spoon’

Deacon was a man of many faces- he’d been women, men, raiders, gunners, one time he even became a supermutant (and he got away with it, they were so stupid). He was strong; yet weak. He knew all; yet knew nothing at all. He always felt like he needed to be strong for everyone else.

Yet when it came to being with Sole, he always knew that they were being strong for one another- Sole needed him as much as he needed them. As for Deacon being the small spoon- it made him feel safe, feeling the warmth of Sole behind him.


Gage:

‘Leg hugger’

Gage and Sole didn’t particularly want the world of raiders knowing that they were together- in the beginning, they used to sleep in separate beds, until slowly, their relationship slowly started getting more and more intimate.

The usually end up with Sole sprawled over the top of him, their legs tangled up in a big mess across the bottom of the bed. One time when one of the gang’s leaders came up to speak to Sole, Gage and Sole ended up with strange looks- it was from that moment that they agreed that they wouldn’t keep hiding.


Hancock:

‘The tangle’

It wasn’t very often that Sole and Hancock went to bed- or woke up in bed together. They had very busy lives outside of their relationship, and they often spent days or weeks apart- they got used to sleeping without each other as much as they got used to sleeping together.

When they did end up sleeping together, they often slept in a big heap of bodies, not being able to figure out which finger belonged to which body.


MacCready:

‘Space Hogger’

MacCready was a space hogger. Sole had managed to get a double bed together, with a lot of help from Sturges and welding two beds together, and scavenging a nice looking double bed from a pre-war house they came across. Sole would be curled up on the very edge whilst MacCready had arms and legs lying everywhere.

It was sweet- the way that Sole’s head would find itself cradled into the nook of MacCready’s arm.


Nick:

‘The Nuzzle’

Nick didn’t like lying down to ‘sleep’. He didn’t need to sleep, and he thought that it was mildly pointless for him to even consider sleeping. But he knew that Sole liked sleeping- not as much as they had pre-war times, since they’d spent over 200 years sleeping, but it helped them feel more alive, especially when they’d had a particularly hard day.  

When Nick laid down next to Sole at night, Nick would just lie still, and let Sole curl themselves up against his body, the blanket they used thrown up over their heads, keeping in the warmth, a stark contrast against Nick’s cool metallic body.


Old Longfellow:

‘The leg hug’

Longfellow was used to being alone. He’d never taken another lover after Hannah, and he’d gotten used to sleeping alone. So when Sole came into his life, and became something more than friends, he knew he’d have to start getting used to sleeping with another body beside him.

Although the Island’s fog brought a chill to the air, when they slept together, they usually ended up with tangled legs, the blanket thrown over their feet, but their upper halves far away from each other- too hot to possibly think of touching.


Piper:

‘Back Kissers’

Piper’s bed in her small Diamond City home was only small- but her and Sole were perfectly able to lay down back to back in it, and not roll over and fall out the bed (although they might have once, when Nat played a prank on the pair).

They usually slept back to back, with the lower parts of their backs and bottoms pressing against one another, reassuring the other that they had their back, in sleep and during times when they needed it the most.


Preston:

‘Little Spoon’

Preston had spent such a long time of his life trying to be the bigger man and protect people. He’d protected people when the Minutemen moved into Quincy. He’d tried to protect his people when the gunners had come in and slaughtered the minutemen. He’d protected people as they’d travelled, trying to find safety.

When he was with Sole, he felt like he no longer had to put up the front, and he knew that Sole would be the one to protect him- that’s how he ended up as the little spoon, curled up in front of Sole.


X6-88:

‘The Nuzzle’

X6 doesn’t sleep. He didn’t need it, so he didn’t do it. Sleeping made him feel uncomfortable more than anything else. He never slept, even once he got into a relationship with Sole.

Sole would beg him to at least lie in the bed beside Sole, and slowly, as their relationship grew more intimate, X6 would slowly begin to lay next to Sole, allowing them to rest their head upon his chest or shoulder. He preferred not to, however, since he always ended up with with aching joints from lying in one position for so long- he was more used to moving that staying still.


Maxson:

‘Lovers Knot’

Maxson never knew love growing up. He witnessed it in his mother and father when he was a baby- maybe, he couldn’t quite remember. He’d witnessed it in a few people within the ranks of the Brotherhood. He didn’t know what it felt like until he fell in love with Sole.

When Sole and Maxson ended up sharing a bed together, they would end up curled up in each other’s arms, before rolling away once sleep overtook, proving their relationship provided the pair independence despite being together.


Desdemona:

‘Liberty Lover’

Railroad HQ was small, too small to have bedframes in, meaning that everyone ended up on a single mattress on the floor, pushed up against the wall. Most nights the agents had to share the mattresses, and that was how Sole and Desdemona ended up together- they’d ended up sharing the same bedroll one night.

When they went to sleep at night, Desdemona and Sole would usually end up in bed, back to back but not quite touching. They found they were most comfortable that way- they didn’t want the whole world knowing about their relationship, but they were close enough that they could feel the body heat from one another.


Bonus! Glory:

‘Bed Hogger’

Glory was the biggest bed hogger there was. Although she was a synth, for some reason she needed sleep to survive- must have been something wired wrong. She might not have needed a full eight hours like normal humans, but she did need a few hours each night. When Sole and Glory ended up in the same bedroll or mattress, Sole usually ended up sleeping on the cold hard ground.

Not only did Glory hog the majority of the bed, but she also kicked quite a bit- Sole often woke up with bruises covering their shins and sometimes even the knees.