the war after

 kylos new baby blanket

he keeps his cape on with the force , also hux’s hair is slicked back with the tears of starkiller base #vanityfairgate #evilsideburns

the last jedi vanity fair cover (x)

After Ben

-5-

“Sweetheart. I think we might be old.”

Leia shot Han a dagger glance. “Speak for yourself, there, hotshot.”

He laughed. “Look at us. We’re reading in bed. I have these bifocals. All you need is a sleep bonnet.”

That made Leia smile as she craned her neck to see the screen of his HoloPad. “What are you reading?”

“Stuff for the next mission. The other day, Poe and I talked about next steps, moving forward… verbs turning into nouns.“

Leia’s smile widened. It made her heart swell to think of Han, back to his old self again, flying the Falcon as he served a cause they both loved. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I like that.”

Han smirked. “You trying to pull something, sweetheart?”

Leia laughed and slapped his arm playfully. “Not in our condition, hot shot. You have a hole in your chest and I’m pretty sure I have the intergalactic plague.” She kissed him and felt him smile against her lips. “Now, what is this?”

Han adjusted his glasses with a flourish. “We’re trying to figure out…”

“Who’s we?”

Han laughed. That was his nosy princess. “Me and Poe, and the Kiddy Pilots.”

Leia snorted. “Those Kiddy Pilots saved your old ass.”

“They did,” he muttered, and gestured back to the HoloPad. “We’re trying to figure out what the best way is to move forward with me being…”

Leia nodded. “Not dead.”

“Right.” He smirked, but the light in his eyes dimmed a little. Seeing this, Leia pressed a kiss to his cheek and snuggled closer to him. “Right now I’m just helping them draft their flight plans,” he continued. “When I’m up and at ‘em in a few weeks I’m gonna take a look at their fleet. Now that we’re out in the open and since the First Order is destabilized, we clearly have to strike. The only question is when and how.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea,” Leia said, laying on her husband’s chest, carefully avoiding his wound.

“The plan or my helping them?”

“Yes,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “Both. All. You spending time with Poe. You being a pilot. You being alive. You being here.”  

He beamed down at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her a little closer, not caring about the twinge he felt when her arm brushed his chest. “I wanna get Rey and Finn in there somehow but Luke’s got ‘em real good with that Jedi thing.”

“Yeah… he’s really into that Force schtick.”

That made Han laugh - the kind of flighty, airy laugh that only Leia and the rest of his family heard. “We’ll get ‘em somehow. Make ‘em do all the stuff we’re too old to do.”

“Damn right.” Leia laughed and closed her eyes. “Keep the little fuckers in their place.”  

“You know every memory we have isn’t a real memory? It’s just a memory of the last time you remembered it.”

Rey turned to him and looked quizzical. “What?”

“One of the other troopers told me, that when you remember something you aren’t actually remembering the thing itself, but the last time you remembered it.”

“That’s so fucked up,” Rey said, returning to her noodles.

“When I think back to my mom, I’m not remembering the last time I saw her. I’m remembering the last time I remembered seeing her.”

“It is.” The pair sat for a moment in silence. Rey wrung her hands together and sighed deeply. Finn looked out the window, then at Rey. She stood up and walked over to the man who had become her brother. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “I love Han and Leia, but this fucking sucks.”

Finn frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Not this. Not living here, with them - with you. I’m so happy. But there’s still…”

“Hey,” Finn interrupted her. “I know. It’s ok… it’s ok to be happy here but still think about them, still miss them.”

Rey nodded. “I know.”

Finn yawned. “I’m tired, and you’re sick. We should go to bed.”

“No, you want to go to Poe,” Rey said with a smile. Finn smiled sheepishly and stood up. “Go ahead, I’m gonna be down here a little while longer, I’m making some tea.”

Finn nodded, kissed Rey’s forehead, and practically ran upstairs. Rey smirked, then stood up, poured tea into her mug, and took a deep breath. The steam felt good on her face. She took a sip that soothed her scratchy throat. With a smile, she turned off the last light in the house and headed upstairs to bed.


Leia tiptoed into their bedroom. Han had fallen asleep long ago, but she’d gotten up, as she often did. Slowly, softly, so as not to wake him, she slipped back under the covers next to him. 

“Sweetheart,” he muttered sleepily. “Where’d ya go?”

She winced, both because she woke him up and because she knew she had to tell him. “Ben’s room,” she replied.

Han sat up, suddenly awake. “Leia…”

“I know, I know,” she stopped him. “I just thought…”

“Can you show me?”

Leia looked at him, surprised. “What?”

“What do you do you when you go in there? Can you show me?”

Leia nodded and took Han’s hand. They stood up slowly and made their way down the hall. They passed Rey’s room; the door was open a crack, and Leia couldn’t resist peeking inside. “She’s fine, sweetheart,” Han whispered. “Let her sleep.“

A few more steps took them past Finn’s room. The door was shut - locked, probably - but they could hear both boys snoring. Leia smirked. "Sounds like you.”

Han smiled back and squeezed her hand. “Ready, beautiful?” They’d arrived at the end of the hall.  

Leia nodded and opened the door to Ben’s room. A shiver went through Han’s spine. He hadn’t been in that room for so long. The last time he been in was after that last explosive fight, when Ben stormed out, never to return. Leia fixed it up, put everything right, and made it look like it was waiting for their son to come back from a mission or a night out.  The last time Han had seen their son, Ben had tried to kill him. As far as Ben (Kylo?) knew, he’d succeeded. Han sat down on the bed that Leia had re-made, overwhelmed.

Leia sat down next to him, and the two of them looked around the room silently. “This is where I start,” she breathed, taking both his hands in hers. “Then I close my eyes, and reach out.”


Far away, past the ruins of Starkiller base, Kylo Ren felt a twinge; a presence; a breath on the back of his neck. He turned around, but no one was there. As the tickle faded away, he placed his hand on the back of his neck, both to shoo it away and to keep it there. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation.


Leia’s eyes snapped open. She reached for her husband’s hand to steady herself.

“Han…”

He grabbed both her arms, gently but firmly. "What, Leia, what?”

She looked up at him, face white. “I felt him. Han… He reached back.”

  • Me: sees queen Elizabeth is trending
  • Me: hasn't had an emergency news alert from the BBC
  • Me: is confused
  • What I say: I'm fine
  • What I think: Obi-Wan Kenobi never turned to the Dark Side even as he saw all his loved ones killed, the Jedi Order and the Republic he fought for destroyed, and the person who was his brother turned into a monster. He was a true hero of the Jedi and the Republic to the very end and safeguarded the last hope of the Galaxy and all the thanks he got was being the weird wizard who lives in a shitty hut in Tatooine just give him a spinoff movie he deserves to be happy please

I really love the timing of Kylo Ren’s outbursts. They don’t come when things go wrong. Most of the time, he maintains a rather calm demeanor. At one point, he even taunts General Hux that a clone army would be better. His outbursts happen when he gives into his own weakness. 

BB-8 escapes Jakku. He doesn’t bring out his saber until the messenger reveals that it was Finn who helped the droid. FN-2187. The same stormtrooper who he saw in the village. The stormtrooper who Kylo knew wasn’t behaving the way he was supposed to. The stormtrooper he could’ve had killed or sent away or done a number of things to. But instead, he let his suspicions go and gave FN-2187 another chance under Captain Phasma. 

Rey escapes her imprisonment. He knows it’s entirely his fault. Leaving a single stormtrooper to guard over someone strong in the Force? He could’ve knocked her out, done something to her legs so she couldn’t have moved, left droids to torture the information out of her. But he left her as ‘his guest.’ Restrained but unharmed with someone nearby to help/guard/move her in case something went wrong. 

He doesn’t lash out because he’s angry at others. He lashes out because he’s angry at himself. Because he failed. Because he was weak. Again. Because, despite his desperation to be like Darth Vader, he is still being swayed by the light within himself. And it’s breaking him apart.