the wanted things

Too soft,,,, too soft

We’re All in This Together –– Law and Order: SVU 19x04: No Good Reason

10

STAB ME IN THE FUCKING HEART WHY DON’T YOU

Tony is smelling Ziva’s scarf and inhaling her scent which flashes back to the last time he smelled her in PPF and then he stares at Tali because THAT’S HOW SHE HAPPENED I can’t with my feelings right now

Okay, now that that word-vomit is out of the way…

Seriously, how hauntingly beautiful is this?

You can see how utterly devastated Tony is – just completely, overwhelmingly broken inside and out. Now that Tali is asleep he can drop his act, and you can see the life just drain out of him.

What I can’t get over is just how intimate the act of sniffing Ziva’s scarf is – we’ve established this already, but that’s not the act of a co-worker, or even friend. That’s something far more personal and loaded with subtext. 

And obviously, it’s meant to kick us right in The Feels, because he’s trying to hang onto one last piece of her – and again, it’s an astonishingly intimate act, and it connotes a far more intense connection than with the other agents, not that, you know, the presence of their child didn’t already do that.

Yet that isn’t enough. Because inhaling that scent brings him (and us) right back to the last time he saw her, and their last conversation. When she told him he was loved because she loved him, and he did the hardest thing he’s ever had to do and has regretted and replayed it every day since. It broke his heart back then, and it sure as hell wrecks him even more now that he knows how it all played out.

But of course the show has to make that connection for us. Bring us back to the last time it decided to break all of our hearts, and giving us one of the most beautiful scenes ever tinged with complete heartbreak. Especially now that we see the added layers – because neither of them knew at that moment when they kissed for the last time that this was the end but also this was not the end because lo and behold, they had their own little sequel in the works.

And Tony is remembering that moment and what led to that moment and how that moment happened and sees the direct consequence of that lying on his couch fast asleep.

And that has to throw him for a loop.

Also lol that child is older than 20 months old, I’m just saying

“Feeling a bit ill are we? Allow me, the ever fabulous and world renowned, Nurse Minako to come to your aid!”

@keyofjetwolf

Speaking of Jason Isbell, I want y’all to know that every time Harry and Louis are MIA at the same time, I’m constantly singing “Cover Me Up” from Jason’s Southeastern album and dying inside.

And the old lover’s sing
“I thought it’d be me who helped him get home”
But home was a dream
One I’d never seen till you came along

So [boy], leave your boots by the bed
We ain’t leaving this room
Till someone needs medical help
Or the magnolias bloom
It’s cold in this house and I ain’t going out to [get Starbucks]
So cover me up and know you’re enough
To use me for good

Truthful Thursday

Or is it supposed to be SST???
I never know–

I am rarely ever by myself. If there is ever anything sad or frustrating or something that makes me angry somebody is always with me and I never have time to process it by myself.
There are so many times I want to turn the music up so high that I can barely stand it. Or I want complete silence in the car and can’t have it. I’m 45 years old and I try very carefully to choose the people I allow into my life so that I don’t get hurt anymore and yet it still happens. I just want a reassurance that you won’t hurt me. I want a reassurance that you will do what you say you will.

Today is parent teacher conference day. I’m here from 11am-7pm. We have 10min slots scheduled. I have parents scheduled in every slot from 11:10-1:50 and 3:20-6:40. I had a parent here at 10:55. So I started then. I’m exhausted. I’m so tired y'all. I just want a break.

the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity

Little explorations into the lives, minds, and quiet moments of friendship of the SMH team.


and not waving but drowning

Jack character study. Zimbits. Mostly canon-compliant. 

TW:  Suicidal Thoughts, Self Harm, Panic Attacks, Jack’s Overdose, Homophobic Bullying, Being Disowned (minor character), Anxiety

the sun will rise and we will try again

Jack & Lardo friendship.  Missing moment.  Canon-compliant.

TW:  canon-typical alcohol use, anxiety

all i need’s a whisper in a world that only shouts

Bitty character study. Pre-Zimbits.  Canon-compliant.

TW: Panic attacks, toxic masculinity and feelings of inadequacy, canon-typical alcohol use, past bullying/homophobia

the subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone

Bitty character study. Zimbits.  Mostly canon-compliant.

TW: Eating disorder, panic attacks, body issues, body disconnect?, (depersonalization?), canon typical alcohol abuse, vomiting, past bullying,  homophobia, rocky parent-child relationships, descriptions of blood and minor injury

even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself

Bitty & Holster friendship.  Canon-compliant.

TW: casual homophobia, past bullying, mentions of eating disorder, canon typical alcohol abuse, mentions of blood

the sun shines and fights for your day

Bitty & Ransom friendship.  Canon-compliant.

TW: disordered eating, panic attacks, anxiety

or the mountains should crumble to the sea

Bitty & Dex friendship. Mostly canon-compliant.

TW: Homophobia, harassment, violence, blood 

do you ever finish a really long book and you just kinda. sit there for a couple of days.

So im slowly getting my step bro to read CLAMP stuff and he is enjoying X a lot right now. He kinda wants to read CCS next but was asking if it has any emotional depth or if it is just as sunshine and rainbows as all promo material looks like XD
I of course reassured him that there is a lot of emotion and deeper themes in CCS. 

But like of course there is a world of difference between “my mother died when I was little and im a bit sad but life is good anyway. My brother sees her gentle ghost sometimes” and “My mother was blown into bits by a magic sword when I was litte. I saw her gay mermaid form being sad in my dreams”

And also “Im sad because the guy I love is moving far away” and “Im sad because the guy I love killed my sister and then I killed him. Im using his eye as my own tho”

But hey, everything is very gay and tokyo tower is important

p.122

‘Let me go instead.’ I staggered to my feet. I’d just had the longest day in the history of days. I was ready to fall over. But there was no way I was going to stand by while my two oldest friends got sent into mortal danger. ‘Or at least let me go with them.’

‘Kid,’ Blitz said, his voice cracking. ‘It’s okay.’

My burden, Hearth signed, both hands pushing down on one of his shoulders.

[171019] Fan Accounts of DなSHOW Vol. 1 in Kanazawa

When Daesung sang WINGS today as extra encore he changed a phrase of the chorus that originally says “trust me more, trust me more” into “trust me more, just leave it to me”. He always tells us “leave your happiness to me” (= leave it to me to make you happy). (© mshinju)

Dna SHOW in Kanazawa today was sooo much fun! 💕 The crowd was great! Daesung sang an extra song for encore (WINGS) and the Kang Daesung calls were super loud 👍 he was so happy 😭 (© mshinju)

A fan asked if Daesung had a house in Japan, which prefecture he would live. Since the show today was in Ishikawa prefecture he said with an obvious lip-service face “Ishi…kawa… prefecture… obviously” but then he named things that he really liked about the place like fresh seafood (which is known to be really good in Kanazawa, the city today’s show was held in) & the fact that it was quite cold in Kanazawa (he loves the cold). When he asked what fruit is famous in Kanazawa and found out that it was grapes, he said it’s destiny 🤣👍 (© mshinju)

Q: What kind of event would you want to do with your fans in the future?

DS: Something I haven’t done before? I would really like to go on a trip with my fans. It doesn’t need to be any far away destination. I want to eat together and if you want to drink, you’re free to do so Then I’ll take pictures of you (while drunk) & will show them to you in the morning. “Good morninnng~~♪ *shows picture*” I always see you prettily dressed up with perfect make up, so I really wanna see your 7am faces. I want to know the level of your transformation skills. (© mshinju)

Daesung practiced the dance for A•ze•cho! with us today in Kanazawa, joking that if we couldn’t do it then he’d immediately stop singing and leave. It’s a quite easy to remember dance in the “oh oh oh” part of the chorus. They called it wakame dance in the newspapers 🤣✋👋 Apparently we did well enough when he performed a•ze•cho! right after because he gave thumbs up to the audience while singing 😁👍 (© mshinju)

Btw, today was the first time ever for Daesung to hold an event in Kanazawa (actually his first time ever visiting Kanazawa in general). The audience welcomed him very warmly & enthusiastically, clapping loudly to the rhythm of the opening music before the curtains were raised 👏 (© mshinju)

At the very end of the event Daesung said “I’ll work even harder to become someone who remains inside your heart. Please keep supporting me in the future! I’m already looking forward to the next time that I can see you. Let’s meet again!” (© mshinju)

After the last song nobody wanted the event to end so we started chanting “Kang Daesung! Kang Daesung!” but Daesung didn’t buy it saying he knows better than anyone else that his real name is Kang Daesung 🙄 And on top of that our pronunciation was wrong, he complained 😝 Daesung taught us how to say it correctly,we started chanting again putting more effort in our pronunciation & w/ some help from the technical staff (who didn’t put the echo effect on Dae’s mic as usual when he says his name as farewell) we won & Daesung sang WINGS as encore song (© susifg)

I also kinda want to do something for Halloween, and since I can’t make cc and other simblreen stuff like that, I was thinking I could make a new post template for Halloween day and have posts going all day and also do something like more sim requests or what not if that sounds like a good idea?