the waitress gets married

anonymous asked:

Can you and Arin get married like, now? I'd appreciate it. Thank you. Also can I be one of the bridesmaids? Listen I could even be the waitress I don't mind. Just get married and allow me to be there *pleads*

working on it *trips over a 23 meter long plan written on parchment paper with crayons*

  • Tyler: *while he and Matt are preparing a dating profile for Jeremy* Yeah. Let's talk about your likes and dislikes. How about your favorite food. What would that be?
  • Jeremy: Oh, milk steak.
  • Tyler and Matt: Hmm? What?
  • Jeremy: Milk steak.
  • Tyler: I'm not putting milk steak.
  • Matt: Just put steak. Just put regular steak. And then -
  • Tyler: I'm gonna put steak!
  • Jeremy: Put milk steak. She'll know what it is.
  • Tyler: She won't know what that is! Nobody knows what that is, Jeremy.
  • Jeremy: She'll know what it is.
  • Tyler: No - Okay, all right. What's your favorite hobby?
  • Jeremy: Uh, magnets.
  • Matt: Magnets?
  • Tyler: Okay, what, like making magnets, collecting magnets? Playing with magnets?
  • Jeremy: Just magnets.
  • Tyler: I'm gonna put snowboarding. We'll put snowboarding.
  • Jeremy: I don't really snowboard -
  • Tyler: All right, what are some of your likes?
  • Jeremy: Uh, ghouls.
  • Tyler: Son of a bitch. What are you talking about now?
  • Jeremy: You know, funny little green ghouls, go - *makes goofy noise*
  • Tyler: What? What, like in movies and cartoons? What are you -
  • Jeremy: Little green ghouls, buddy!
  • Matt: Don't write ghouls!
  • Tyler: I'm not! I'm putting travel. Jesus Christ! What are your dislikes?
  • Jeremy: People's knees.
  • Tyler: Oh come on! You gotta be kidding. You know what? We'll make it up. We'll make the whole thing up. Let's get out of here! We'll doctor the picture. We're not even gonna use you.
  • Jeremy: Cover your knees up if you're gonna be walking around everywhere.

iasip meme : 1/5 : recurring characters
   >   The Waitress

How do you still not know what my name is!

dee: the waitress is getting married

dennis: since when do you care about the waitress she’s been nothing but trouble for us

dee: guys i can’t believe you’re not thinking about charlie right now this is going to crush him

Chardee Is Real And The Government Knows It

Sweet Dee’s Romantic History: a Depressing Timeline.

I recently realized a pattern with Dee; In every romantic relationship she has had on the show, with the exception of Charlie, she has been completely insensitive and ignorant to the emotions of her partner, one way or another. When it comes to relationships, Dee is completely unintuitive. So i decided to break down all the relationships she’s had on the show.

In the pilot episode of the show, Much of Dee’s arc came from the fact that she was ‘dating’ a gay man. Despite many warning signs, including from the man himself, Dee is completely oblivious until she is explicitly rejected by him. 

The next time Dee is in a romantic relationship, 2 episodes later in Underage Drinking, It’s with a high school boy. This time she’s being manipulated by him, a fact that she once again is completely oblivious to until the last possible moment. Again, his behavior provides many warning signs that he isn’t being sincere, and again, she remains in the dark until she is forced to witness an outright rejection.

The Dee is dating again in Gun Fever, and guess what? She’s being manipulated!!! She’s being used by a man who’s dating bartenders as a part of a scam. Once again, she remains completely oblivious to the manipulation even as we, the audience, can see it clear as day.

Dee’s next relationship in Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person brings the concept to a more literal level: she literally spends the entire episode with no idea what is going on in her boyfriends head. She is easily tricked by Dennis into thinking her boyfriend is developmentally disabled with no evidence, and then, despite spending tons of time with him, spends the rest of the episode COMPLETELY PUZZLED over this. She’s wrong, once again.

The next time we hear about Dee’s romantic life is when we meet Brad Fisher in The Waitress Is Getting Married. Once again, the entire plot consists of Dee being tricked by men and being completely blind to it. 

Then there’s Ben The Soldier! One of the strangest dynamics on this list, Dee seems to have absolutely no emotional investment in the man and drops him in a second because he is in a wheelchair. Then, (once Artemis gets involved) she goes to extreme lengths to get him back. In The DENNIS system, Ben treats her nicely, but one comment from Dennis sends Dee into an unwarranted tailspin. Although the manipulation doesn’t come from Ben in this case, emotional manipulation at the hands of a man, coupled with Dee’s inability to think critically about her or Ben’s motivations and feeling, ultimately leads to the downfall of her relationship.

Next there’s Bill Ponderosa in Dennis Gets Divorced, and Dee’s cluelessness is put on display yet again. Her reasons for initiating the relationship in the first place are nonsensical, and-what a surprise- most of their relationship consists of Dee being tricked and then getting humiliated because she has no idea what’s going on.

And then, in the ANTI-Social Network, we find out that Dee was catfished, completely offhanded. Shocker.

The next time Dee gets a boyfriend, she is ONCE AGAIN being exploited. This time by a rich guy who’s using her for some sort of Dinner For Schmucks scenario. AND AGAIN Dee has nO IDEA until the very last minute. 

The next time we hear about Dee’s dating life is when she sleeps with a talent manager in The Gang Broke Down. And guess what- HE WAS AN ACTOR! and she had NO IDEA. god, this is getting repetitive, huh? 

And then their is the Gang Group Dates. Somehow she gets the idea that she’s ‘going steady’ with a guy that didn’t even realize they were dating. No reasons are given for her having assumed this, but she is utterly baffled when she finds out. 

There’s Charlie- the outlier. I could exploit this for Chardee purposes, but for now i’m gonna skip over it, because the relationship falls apart in record time and if there was ever somebody for her to be emotionally in-tune with, it would be Charlie.

We don’t get any more of Dee’s love life until season 12, PTSDee. Dee has an encounter with a man that she believes to be profound and meaningful, even so far as to weep with joy after sex, only to find out that the man feels the complete opposite, and that she misinterpreted his tears. It’s a total shock to Dee. Wow.

But even after all of this constant rejection; Dee rarely seems bothered. She brushes off every failed relationship, every humiliation, every manipulation. Yes, she’s being exploited, but she doesn’t really care, and she’s got exploiting of her own to do. Men’s emotions really mean shit to Dee, regardless of whether she can understand them or not. There’s no denying that Dee is a very, very gullible person. Maybe it’s sexist and/or lazy writing, but i love this show and Dee and i don’t want to talk about that possibility, so i’m gonna spin it. Dee’s romantic history shows, in my opinion, two important things. One: Dee is completely unsuccessful in all of her relationships with men and is utterly incompetent at dating them. She is unable to sustain any sort of romantic connection with a man. While initiating sex is as easy as pie for Dee, once the relationship even hints at romance, it falls apart. Two: Dee is emotionally incompetent and unobservant. She is unable to intuit feelings from men at all, and every single time she makes assumptions or observations about her relationships with men, she is showed to be completely wrong. She just doesn’t ‘get ‘em.’  She can’t hold on to a boyfriend, and usually she doesn’t want to. Sustaining an emotional or romantic connection with a man, for Dee, is literally impossible. And if you’re wondering whether i specified ‘with a man’ every time on purpose, yes, it was very purposeful.

anonymous asked:

Underrated smart!Charlie moments: 1. Him sneakily getting Dennis to get Waitress to have sex with him with the whole cancer scheme. 2. That time when the rich couple dates him and Dee and he uses the girl to get closer to Waitress and totally drops her at the dinner party. Damn he only tries really hard when it comes to Waitress wow ~softcharlie

I’d also like to add to this list the following: 3. his entire scheming story arc from “mac bangs dennis’ mom” where he successfully pits dennis and mac against each other; 4. orchestrating an entire musical as a way to get the waitress to marry him; and 5. the entirety of “charlie work”