the wait was worse than the results

Ways to un-stick a stuck story
  • Do an outline, whatever way works best. Get yourself out of the word soup and know where the story is headed.
  • Conflicts and obstacles. Hurt the protagonist, put things in their way, this keeps the story interesting. An easy journey makes the story boring and boring is hard to write.
  • Change the POV. Sometimes all it takes to untangle a knotted story is to look at it through different eyes, be it through the sidekick, the antagonist, a minor character, whatever.
  • Know the characters. You can’t write a story if the characters are strangers to you. Know their likes, dislikes, fears, and most importantly, their motivation. This makes the path clearer.
  • Fill in holes. Writing doesn’t have to be linear; you can always go back and fill in plotholes, and add content and context.
  • Have flashbacks, hallucinations, dream sequences or foreshadowing events. These stir the story up, deviations from the expected course add a feeling of urgency and uncertainty to the narrative.
  • Introduce a new mystery. If there’s something that just doesn’t add up, a big question mark, the story becomes more compelling. Beware: this can also cause you to sink further into the mire.
  • Take something from your protagonist. A weapon, asset, ally or loved one. Force him to operate without it, it can reinvigorate a stale story.
  • Twists and betrayal. Maybe someone isn’t who they say they are or the protagonist is betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. This can shake the story up and get it rolling again.
  • Secrets. If someone has a deep, dark secret that they’re forced to lie about, it’s a good way to stir up some fresh conflict. New lies to cover up the old ones, the secret being revealed, and all the resulting chaos.
  • Kill someone. Make a character death that is productive to the plot, but not “just because”. If done well, it affects all the characters, stirs up the story and gets it moving.
  • Ill-advised character actions. Tension is created when a character we love does something we hate. Identify the thing the readers don’t want to happen, then engineer it so it happens worse than they imagined.
  • Create cliff-hangers. Keep the readers’ attention by putting the characters into new problems and make them wait for you to write your way out of it. This challenge can really bring out your creativity.
  • Raise the stakes. Make the consequences of failure worse, make the journey harder. Suddenly the protagonist’s goal is more than he expected, or he has to make an important choice.
  • Make the hero active. You can’t always wait for external influences on the characters, sometimes you have to make the hero take actions himself. Not necessarily to be successful, but active and complicit in the narrative.
  • Different threat levels. Make the conflicts on a physical level (“I’m about to be killed by a demon”), an emotional level (“But that demon was my true love”) and a philosophical level (“If I’m forced to kill my true love before they kill me, how can love ever succeed in the face of evil?”).
  • Figure out an ending. If you know where the story is going to end, it helps get the ball rolling towards that end, even if it’s not the same ending that you actually end up writing.
  • What if? What if the hero kills the antagonist now, gets captured, or goes insane? When you write down different questions like these, the answer to how to continue the story will present itself.
  • Start fresh or skip ahead. Delete the last five thousand words and try again. It’s terrifying at first, but frees you up for a fresh start to find a proper path. Or you can skip the part that’s putting you on edge – forget about that fidgety crap, you can do it later – and write the next scene. Whatever was in-between will come with time.
Saeran Choi: Memorized.

Number of words: 5,032 kill me please
Saeran Choi x Reader
Enjoy or at least try to

     ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

     “Hey, are you feeling hot? The temperature is hot! Wait a moment, there’s an ice cream truck over there, I will bring us some!”

     “Whatever you wish, princess.”

     The girl beamed happily, untangling her hand from his fingers. In a blink of an eye, she was already running in the truck’s direction.

     He suddenly heard tires’ squeal and his head instantly turned towards the racing car. The girl froze in her spot.

     The instinct was faster than his thoughts. 

     His only purpose was to push her out of the road. Everything happened so quickly that he didn’t even manage to acknowledge his own action.

     The whole scene lasted a mere few seconds.

     And then everything went black.

     ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

     “[Name]… [Name]. Calm down, [Name].” Saeyoung grabbed your wrist and turned you towards him. His hands were on your cheeks now, making you look at him. Your face was covered in tears and you couldn’t even breathe at this point.

     “Saeyoung, it’s… This… is my fault… T-this is my fucking fault, h-he’s… W-what if he…”

     “Please, calm down, [Name].” You tried to move away from him, but he held you in place, his eyes staring deep into yours. You could see he was as terrified as you now, but you panicking was much enough and so he managed to keep his head. “[Name], breathe.”

     He kept repeating your name over and over unless you finally gave up. The tears started streaming down your cheeks and you sobbed helplessly, finding little comfort in the boy’s embrace.

     Your heart was clenching in your chest and you felt as if the whole world just collapsed onto you. Your mind was filled with dark thoughts and never in your life were you so scared.

     The door of the operating room suddenly opened and your head instantly turned towards the doctor that went out. He was clearly tired and his coat was stained with blood. The view made you feel sick.

     He went closer to you two, taking off his gloves and wiping the sweat from his forehead.

     “Are you his family…?”

     “I’m his brother” Saeyoung stated right away. You couldn’t help but peeked towards the operating room, but the door automatically closed and you couldn’t see anything.

     “He’s lost a lot of blood, but it wasn’t critical… His ribs are broken and there was a danger they’d pierce his lungs, but fortunately it didn’t happen. His head though… He has a TBI, we’re not sure how serious it is yet, so…” He sighed softly, looking at you. He smiled weakly, probably trying to comfort you. “His life is not in danger right now, but he’s still uncounscious. We moved him to another ward and he’s under constant watch, but for for the next few days we can’t let any guests in, he needs to rest…”

     “We’re his family” Saeyoung suddenly stated. “I understand we can’t see him now, but tomorrow…”

     The doctor sighed. 

     “Only a few minutes for the closest family, but that’s all I can offer.”

     “But her…” 

     “Only the closest family. Excuse me now.” He bowed politely and left, not saying anything else.

     For a few minutes, there was that painful silence. You couldn’t blame Saeyoung for being able to see his brother, but there was nothing more painful right now than the fact that you couldn’t see him. Even if he probably wouldn’t be able to talk, to see you…

     It hurt.

     And the guilt hurt even more. 

     Yet you couldn’t do anything but wait.

     ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙ 

     The first day, you’ve spent trying to calm down and distract yourself. Saeyoung would never leave your side, offering everything you’d need. It helped you feel better, but at the same time… you felt bad because you were the cause of all that and yet he managed to comfort you. You - the person who was responsible for his beloved brother’s injury. It felt just wrong.

      The second day, Saeyoung went to the hospital. You insisted on going with him and at least waiting in front of the building till he finished the visit, but he told you it’ll be better if you stay at home and take a nap till he comes back and tell you how is Saeran doing.

     Later, you heard that he hasn’t regained his counsciousness yet and Saeyoung could only stay for a few minutes, so he didn’t find out much. He didn’t say anything more.

     The third day was worse than the previous. You didn’t go out of bed for hours and even refused to eat. You knew that Saeran should wake up soon and that with every passing day the chance of him actually waking up is lower. The doctors told you to just wait. But what if there was no point of waiting…?

     The fourth day, Saeyoung went to the hospital again. This time, he let you join him and you waited patiently in the main hall. You were still nervous.

     But the eleventh day, everything inside you broke again.

     The doctors explained that there was something unclear with the results and, just in case, they decided to put him into an induced coma, so that he won’t wake up till they find out what’s going on.

     But it was already ten days and your hope was already slipping away. For Saeyoung it wasn’t any easier. Yet, he was strong, trying to carry on doing his work and taking care of you as much as he could. You were the weak one, the one who couldn’t put everything together and who was a wrecked mess. A mess who was slowly slipping into depression.

     For the time being, no one let you even enter the room. For a few days, even Saeyoung was forbidded from doing so. Only after the doctors made sure the results are fine by now, he could have his few minutes.

     “Saeran, hi…” he said awkwardly, as every single time before. His voice was quiet, as if he was actually afraid of waking the boy up. He still hasn’t woken up. “It’s been… a long time since we’ve seen and…” He sighed deeply. “You can’t imagine how much we miss you… It’s hard for me, but [Name]… she’s… uh, it’s too much for her. So please, Saeran…” His eyes watered and he covered his face with his hands. “Please, wake up…”

     And right then, something changed. A slight motion, but he could sense it. He raised his head in an instant, watching and praying so that was not an illusion.

     A few minutes passed and the next movement - he was sure now - happened for real. His fingers really moved.

     “Saeran…?” he said quietly and his brother’s face twitched. 

     He ran to the door and told a nurse what just happened, then came back to the bed. 

     “Can you hear me…?” he asked, touching gently the boy’s shoulder. 

     He moved. He really did!

     The nurse stormed into the room with a doctor right behind her.

     “Are you his brother?” the doctor asked and Saeyoung nodded. “Good. We will need you to help him, but since he’s waking up now, he needs a few hours to recover. Please, come back tomorrow.”

     “O-okay. But…” he hesitated a bit. “Can I bring someone with me? It’s his girlfriend, I think she could help…”

     “Sure, why not.”

     As soon as Saeyoung told you the news, you started crying. So many tears have you let out the past two weeks, but those weren’t the bad ones. You felt a blissful relief and - at the same time - couldn’t believe it was true. You almost sunk too deep for anyone to reach you, but it was like a sun ray in a dark cave. It was enough to help you find a way out.

     All you wanted to do was to go straight away and see it with your own eyes, but as far as you’ve already gone, you agreed to wait. 

     That night you couldn’t sleep, nervousness eating you from inside, excitement even stronger at this point.

     And, eventually, the morning came. 

     You calmed down your breath, trying to look stable. Saeyoung placed his hand on your shoulder, smiling calmly. The doctor just talked to you, telling you how to behave. And that they still aren’t sure how much the damage did to his psyche - and so, you should be careful and understanding so that he doesn’t feel any pressure.

     “Ready?” Saeyoung smiled at you. You wanted to smile too, but right now you were only a relatively calm, but still mess.

     The door opened and you two went inside.

     The creaking of the door made the boy laying on the bed stir slightly. He was staring at the window when you entered, but now he looked at you, frowning slightly. 

     He was pale, his head still in some bandages. An IV was connected to his arm, just like some other beeping devices you’ve seen in TV a few times.

     He looked at you, then at his brother.

     Saeyoung smiled softly.

     “How are you feeling…?”

     The boy opened his mouth, but for a few seconds he couldn’t let out a single word, his throat dry and voice - hoarse.

     “Sae… young…” he mumbled and the frown deepened. You felt your heart clench at his pained expression, but what happened next, was way worse. 

     You felt the redhead’s hand tighten on your shoulder.

     “Who… is she…?”

     Saeyoung’s eyes widened.

     Was there any good way to describe how you felt? 

     Doubtfully. For some reason, the sudden pain in your stomach was way worse than the one you felt when you weren’t sure if Saeran will even live.

     It was awful. You instantly found yourself wanting to vomit, or to run away, as far as possible.

     What could you do…? 

     You’ve suddenly felt so lost. As if you shouldn’t be here. 

     Saeyoung was here, he could help his brother, but you… There was no place for you. You were a stranger now.

     All those thoughts stormed through your head in a mere few seconds.

     You gulped down your pain.

     “I… I will wait outside” you stuttered and stormed out.

     ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙


     You raised your eyes. In the mirror, you could see Saeyoung’s reflexion. He was standing behind your still trembling form right after you splashed cold water onto your face.

     “I think you shouldn’t go into ladies’ room” you laughed, but there was nothing funny in your expression.

     “How are you…” Saeyoung started, but he quickly hesitated, realizing that the question is stupid anyway. It was obvious that you felt horrible.

     You sighed softly, lowering your head and staring at the sink.

     “How is… he feeling?” you asked instead, trying to at least control your voice.

     “He’s… good. As good as it’s possible in his state…”

     You nodded slowly.

     “You… will have to take care of him now.” Your voice was quiet and weak.

     Saeyoung grabbed your shoulder, making you turn around and look at him.

     “We will have to.”

     “I don’t think he’d want a stranger to help him…”

     “You’re not a stranger. It’s…” The boy sighed. “The doctor said he needs some time, but his memory… The last thing he remembers is when we were young. He’s lost a few years of memories. But…”


     “…” He hesitated. “He doesn’t remember Mint Eye, nor Rika and V. As long as he doesn’t remember that everything, there’s a chance that… recalling anything related should easily trigger the rest of his memories. So the chance that he will recover is really high…”

     “…and even bigger if I’m by his side. But if he regains that everything, he will…” You shook your head. “He won’t be as happy as he could be if it all never happened” you realized.


     “Maybe it’s better this way…?”

     “You know it’s not true…”

     “I know what you two went through, but the worst started when you had to leave him… Now you can live as if it never happened, don’t you want it…?”

     “If only I could, I would change the past. But the past hasn’t changed. Those things happened and we can’t pretend they did not. Making Saeran believe it would be only a comfortable lie. And if he could choose, I’m sure he’d never want to forget you.”

     You looked down, feeling ashamed now. There was truth in Saeyoung’s words and yet, wanting to get Saeran’s memory back sounded like a pointless hope. It was good enough that he lived, how could you expect anything more…?

     “[Name]. Let’s go back home now, okay?”

     You nodded without a word. The boy grabbed gently your hand and leaded out of the hospital. There was nothing more you could do today.

     ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙ 


     Saeyoung smiled, patting your back. 

     A few days passed and here you were, back in the hospital. You felt almost like the first day when you could come, except for this time, you were less scared, but kind of more nervous, as you didn’t want to accidentally say anything inappropriate.

     You were told that you ought to be patient. You knew that any sudden news won’t help a person with amnesia. 

     “No, but let’s go” you sighed.

     You were slowly becoming accustomed to the fact that there was still a far way to go. It wasn’t going to be funny. It probably was going to be even worse than after the whole Mint Eye case and if Saeran somehow regained only a part of his memories, there was a possibility that they’d have to go through the whole rehab from the beginning.

     Yet here you were. Ready to do literally anything to help him.

     Saeyoung looked at you once more, then nodded and opened the door.

     “Hello, brother~” he beamed. Saeran - as before - kept staring at the window. When you two entered, he turned his head right away, looking at him. You gulped, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

     “Hi…” He moved his gaze to have a better look on your silhoulette.. “Oh, it’s… you.”

     You raised your head, looking back at him. You knew the face he made, he was a bit confused, but curious. It seemed to be a good moment to at least start a talk…

     “[Name]” you said quietly. “I’m [Name].” You smiled softly. 

     Saeran nodded slowly, but the name sounded unfamiliar to him. 

     “I guess I should remember you…” he said slowly. “The doctors said I’ve lost a bit of… my past… You came here with my brother, so… w-were we close…?”

     Your heart clenched in your chest. The gentle smile he made was as uncomfortable and artificial as your own. Was it possible for you two to feel the same at this moment?

     “A-a bit…” you stuttered. Saeyoung laid his hand on your shoulder in a reassuring manner.

     “She’s our friend” he stated happily.

     “We… do have friends…?”

     “Yeah, a few” Saeyoung shrugged. “A lot happened. You’ll find out soon.”

     An idea suddenly popped in your head.

     “Hey, how about I bring some ice cream?” you offered, smiling as cheerfully as you could. “It’s hot here, wait a few minutes, I will be right back!” You almost managed to ran to the door, when…


     You stopped instantly and turned around. 

     Saeran’s hand was in the air, reaching to you. His face suddenly covered in sweat.

     “W-what, why not…?” You frowned.

     “You… can’t go.”

     “But why…?”

     “It’s dangerous, you will…” He hesitated and let his hand drop onto his lap. You could tell, he was scared and yet, he didn’t know why. “I’m… sorry, I… don’t know, what happened…”

     But you already knew. Something clicked. His couldn’t recall it yet, but he knew that there was something.

     “Okay.” You smiled softly and came closer. “I will stay.”

     He nodded, calming down a bit. Saeyoung observed you two in silence for a moment.

     “I will go then” he grinned. “You’re right, it’s really hot!”

     You stared at him in shock as he just left, not waiting for anyone’s approval.

     That’s how you two were left alone.

     You stirred uncomfortably and sat down on a chair next to the bed. For a moment, you avoided his stare, but eventually gave up as he spoke.

     “You know why I reacted like this, don’t you?”

     Clever boy, you huffed. It was kind of embarrassing to tell him right now, but it couldn’t be helped.

     “You could say that… I’m the reason it happened to you” you admitted, feeling your stomach hurt from the words being spoken. Your nervousness kicked in, once again drowning you in guilt.

     “Is that… so?” He tilted his head to the side. “I can’t believe that. Tell me what happened, please.”

     Well, you never knew Saeran is able to say ‘please’ without either stuttering and blushing or looking like a mad psychopath. He looked surprisingly stable right now.

     “It’s… We were on a walk and it was pretty hot… so I told you that I’d go get some ice cream since… you always liked ice cream” you smirked, recalling the moment. “B-but… I wasn’t too wary and a car would hit me…” you looked up at him “…if it wasn’t you who pushed me away.”

     Saeran stared at you and you could swear that it lasted forever. As soon as the words were said, you instantly calmed down. He knew. Whatever was to happen now, you finally let it out.

     “I’m sorry” He said suddenly and your eyes widened. Was he sorry for…? “I’m sorry that I don’t remember you. You’re important to me, right? I feel so stupid now…”

     The door opened and a nurse stepped in.

     “I’m sorry, but the visits are over for today. We need to take care of the patient. Please, come back tomorrow.”

     You nodded and stood up.

     “Good bye, Saeran…” you said and left. You could still feel his eyes on your back, until the door closed behind you.

     ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

     “Are you sure he’s fine now?”

     “Well, we can’t help him anymore” the doctor stated, smiling slightly. “His family is the only one who can help him recover. He still has to take the medicine, so don’t forget to make sure he’s taking them… For some reason, he’s really unwilling to take anything, we almost had to force him to take it… Well, anyway, he will need to be examined once a while and let us know if anything happens. He still may have some headaches and will need to rest a lot, bu if he happens to faint, make sure to put him to bed. And if it happens more often, bring him here. Okay?”

     Saeyoung listened to every word she said, trying to memorize every single remark. He almost couldn’t believe it was over five weeks now. Saeran’s ribs were healed by now, but his brain was, after all, damaged. The memory wouldn’t come back, it only striked once a while, just like when he didn’t want to take the medicine, even if he wasn’t sure why exactly.

     He walked back into the room, watching no one other than you helping Saeran change.

     “Is that really mine…?” The boy asked doubtfully, staring at his leather jacket.

     You smirked, a bit amused by his frown.

     “I guess you didn’t like it, but you don’t have anything else and it’s already getting cold outside, so you have no choice.”

     “It doesn’t even match my hair…”

     “It would if you dyed it back to white.”

     “…I had white hair?”

     “Didn’t you notice? I cut them a few days ago as it were too long. Didn’t you see it was white?”

     “Didn’t observe you.”

     “Guessed so…”

     “W-wait, w-what is it?” he stuttered, looking at the other thing in your hand. 

     You raised the thing, staring at it for a while.

     “It must have been tangled with the jacket. I figured you wouldn’t want to wear it now, brought it by accident.”

     “It’s a fucking collar!”

     “Well, you used to wear it before.”

     “Am I a dog or something…?”

     “Wouldn’t complain if you were.”

     “N-nasty” he mumbled, looking away.

     You stared at him for a moment.

     “Are you sure you don’t want to put it on? It could… remind you of something…”

     “I don’t want to.”

     “Okay. I will wear it then.”


     You smirked playfully, wrapping the choker around your neck and connecting the ends. It was a bit loose, falling almost to your collarbones, as the previous owner was obviously better built at this point.

     Saeran stared at you, his cheeks tainting light pink as you smiled widely.

     “Does it suit me?”

     “… Take it off.”

     You pouted and did as said, throwing the choker to your bag so that it wouldn’t get lost.

     “I think it looked meowous on you, [Name]” Saeyoung said, patting your back.

     “Meow your own business, Saeyoung” you mumbled, a bit embarrassed now.

     “Ya ready, brother~?”

     Saeran nodded.

     “Let’s go.”

     Saeyoung’s place was - for Saeran - something completely unfamiliar. No memories appeared when you three entered the house, everything seemed to be new. You really hoped he’d at least instinctively recall where which room is, but it didn’t happen, you had to explain everything from the beginning.

     “That’s my room…?” he asked.

     You smiled sheepishly. It used to be your room too.

     “Yeah. Do you like it?”

     “Not bad, I guess.”

     “It… changed a bit after the accident, so… I guess you could really not recall it as it is now.” Were you trying to comfort him? Or were you trying to comfort yourself…?

     “Why was it different?”


     “Hey, the dinner is ready!” Saeyoung’s voice reached you and you turned around, almost running to the kitchen. All to not have to explain it.

     You mentally slapped yourself. It was getting harder and harder to pretend that you two were only friends. It’s been almost two weeks since he met you for the ‘first time’. It was visible that he quickly became more comfortable in your presence and it wasn’t even that difficult to act like this. But…

     You didn’t want to lie to him. Saeyoungs, as well, was aware that you can’t push it like this forever. 

     But… what if he actually rejected you? Saying him that you were his girlfriend was almost like a confession. What if he didn’t even like you now…? Without all his memories, the bond between you two didn’t exist. Right now, he knew only as much as he found out through those two weeks. Nothing more.

     He didn’t feel anything towards you. It’s possible that he wouldn’t even simply believe that you two used to be so close.

     Just like everyone said - you had to wait.

     It was the third day. Saeran woke up early with a headache. Sleeping in the room next to his, you could hear him wriggling in the bedsheets. The noise woke you up and you stood up dizzily. You didn’t sleep well lately and so, being woken up after mere few hours of bad dreams wasn’t the best way to make you fully counscious.

     You knocked to his door.

     “Saeran, are you okay…?”

     A muffled whine raeched your ears and you decided to go in.

     He was curled in the sheets, covered in sweat. He wasn’t sleeping, but his body shook as his hands reached his ears, covering them as if he was trying to avoid some annoying noise.

     “Saeran…?” You came closer carefully, not wanting to startle him. “Saeran, what’s wrong…?”

     He turned his head, looking at you. He was panting heavily and you could see tears in his eyes.

     “Your head… hurts again?” you asked and he nodded. “Wait a moment, I will bring the pills.”

     You rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the medicine the doctor gave you. Along with a cup of water, you came back to Saeran’s room.

     He was sitting now, arms wrapped around his legs and face buried in his knees.

     You sat on the edge of the bed.

     “I brought the pills. How are you feeling?”   

     He shrugged, not saying anything. You only sighed.

     “The doctor said you need to take them, it’s not only about the headache, so…”

     “I won’t take them.”

     “Huh…?” You frowned. “Saeran…”

     “Get out.”

     Your eyes widened slightly, but you didn’t move.

     “Saeran, you need to…”

     “I said get out!” he glared at you. “I won’t take any pills so get the fuck out of my sight.”

     You flinched, but weren’t going to give up. 

     “At least drink some water, you’ll feel bet-”

     “Are you dumb or something?!” 

     You shivered at the tone of his voice. It was unpleasant. You knew this tone very well. For the past few months you really thought you’d never get to hear it again…

     “Saeran, please, calm down…”

     “Stop fucking saying my name!” You didn’t move. You were paralyzed by fear. Pills still in your hand, the cup in the other. The water quivered as your body trembled suddenly. “I don’t want to hear it… It’s terrible…”

     “What…?” You were utterly confused.

     “It sounds almost like his… It’s all his fault”

     Your eyes widened.

     “Y-you mean S-Saeyoung…?”


     You didn’t even see it coming. Your vision went black for a few seconds as a sudden impact threw you back. The cup broke on the floor next to you as you dropped it, but it was the least important thing right now. 

     You landed on the floor and for a few seconds were too stunned to even know what happened.

     And when you realized that Saeran just hit you, you looked up at him. He stood up and was going towards you. You instantly curled up on the floor, burying your face in your hands. As much as you wanted to stay calm, you couldn’t help but panicked. You knew way too well how bad it may end…

     You completely didn’t know what to do though. Your cheek was throbbing in pain.  You closed your eyes tightly, preparing yourself for anything that would come next.


     He was standing in front of you. You could sense it, he was so close. You could almost hear his rapid breath, but he didn’t say a word.

     Instead, after a moment, he backed away. You curiously uncovered your eyes.

     He looked so scared now…

     “Why… did I do this…?” he asked, his eyes watering up. He tripped over the edge of the bed and fell onto the mattress. The surrounding him aura changed in a second. There was no rage anymore, no hate. Only fear. “I can’t… I can’t recall this but… W-what’s wrong with me…” He hid his face in his hands, his shoulders trembling.

     You carefully stood up, unsure what to do. Everything told you to go and comfort him. But you couldn’t ignore the fact that he could snap again any moment… 

     Damn, why isn’t Saeyoung here? He would for sure know what to do…

     You came closer, recalling all the things you had to bear with during his previous rehab. You knew not to touch him unless he lets you, but at the same time, you couldn’t let him feel alone. What’s the most important, you had to be careful. Not only for him, but for yourself

     “Don’t… come closer” he whispered, obviously sensing your presence. 

     “Why not…?”

     “I will… hurt you.”

     “Do you want to hurt me…?”

     “No…” His voice creaked.

     “So just don’t do this.” You carefully sat next to him and wiped the blood from your cheek.

     “I don’t understand… He’s my brother, he’s always been with me… Why do I hate him now…?”

     You sighed quietly.

     “A lot of… bad things happened. I guess that… until you recall everything, you may feel this way…”

     “Did he… leave me? Please, tell me what happened, I need to know…”

     He looked at you with teary eyes. You’ve never heard so much despair in his voice. And you felt that you shouldn’t tell him it yet, which meant that you were torn apart… and it hurt. You didn’t know what to do.

     “I don’t think I’m the right person to tell you about this…”

     “But you’re the only person I trust now… I’m…” His eyes widened, as he seemed to suddenly realize what he did just mere moments ago. “I-I’m sorry, your face…”

     “D-does it look that bad?” you panicked a bit, looking around to find a mirror. 


     You sighed, smiling softly at his confused frown.

     “Hey, I literally owe you my life. If some wounds will be a result of helping you out, it’s fine by me.”

     And he smiled back. You almost sighed with relief. The smile was slight and weak, but calm. You could feel your heart warm up at this sight. It was okay now. 

     “You said…” He suddenly seemed to recall something. “When it happened, you said we were on a walk… Did you mean that…” He cleared his throat, looking away awkwardly “…that we were on a date…?”

     Your face instantly heatened up. But there was no point in hiding it anymore.


     “…” He shyly looked at you again. “S-so we… were t-that close…”


     “It must have been terrible for you…” he said quietly, looking down. “Sorry for not realizing it sooner…”

     You shrugged slightly.

     “It’s not your fault…”

     “You think?” He closed his eyes tiredly. “It’s so frustrating…”

     You suddenly glanced at the window. It was already morning.

     “We should go back to sleep. Espacially you. Does your head still hurt?”

     He shook his head.

     “No, it’s okay now.” He hesitated a bit, his eyes never looking away from yours. “You’re right. We should go back to sleep.”

     You wanted to stand up, but he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you down onto the mattress. 


     “Good night” he mumbled, already closing his eyes.

     “W-wait, but…”

     “What? Can’t I even sleep with my girlfriend?” His eyebrow wiggled and you couldn’t help but blush madly. Was he even serious now…?


     “Sleep well, princess.”

     Your eyes widened and heart beat faster.


     You smiled softly.

     “Sleep well, my edgeboy.”

     “… How the fuck did you just call me…?”

    ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

I’ve decided to cut it here. It’s already long as hell and I’m not even sure how many of you reached the damn end;; I realized that anything that would happen later, wouldn’t be as important as what I’ve already described and it would kind of kill the tension. 

And uh… Please, any feedback will be appreciated. It was the longest english thing I’ve ever written so I really need to know what should I work on.

I figured that angst isn’t the best birthday gift but we all love angst don’t we?

Requested #6- Taehyung

“You’re kidding right?” You asked seriously. A shocked expression crossed your features as your female friend held up the black and green set that could make you feel even more vulnerable than being naked.

“No! I think you should get it” Y/F/N said, laughing at your flustered state. “Maybe Taehyung would appreciate it” she wiggled her eyebrows at you. You sighed loudly.

“You’re kidding me right? I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate me walking around in scantily clad…can I even call those clothes?” You sighed, crossing your arms. “Trust me, he wouldn’t want to see me in that.”

Y/F/N pursed her lips at you, seemingly in deep concentration. Suddenly her eyes wandered to the rack behind you and she gasped.

“This is the one!” She squealed. It was even more revealing the other one she showed you earlier. Transparent lace and a F/C corset. “He won’t be able to resist!”

“You think so…” You trailed off.

You stealthily snuck through the front door, careful t avoid any meetings. You had no intention of telling him where you were, or what you were doing, and why you had the interesting colored bag.

“Just get to the closet” you mumbled to yourself.

“What about the closet??” You heard.

Oh Shit.

You turned around and saw Taehyung walking out of the kitchen. “How was shopping?” He asked, leaning against the wall frame.

“It was fine!” You said quickly, laughing nervously.

“What did you buy?” He asked, trying to peek into the interesting colored shopping bag. You jumped back and held the bag behind your back. “Hey! Let me see” he partially whined.

“It’s boring, you really don’t want to see” you shook your head.

“It can’t be that bad” he rolled his eyes at you. Taking the bag from your hand, he looked inside. You could only stare in horror as he picked up the thing article of clothing with your finger tips. He looked up to meet your eyes.

“Hehe surprise?” You trailed off. “Y/F/N made me get it…she thought you’d like it or something” you laughed, shaking your head. “That’s crazy,right?” You chuckled again, expecting him to laugh. His gaze remained stale on you, his teeth clenched.

“Uh…right?? Tae?”

“I’m sorry…all I can think of is you wearing this…nothing but this” he spoke slowly, allowing the outfit to fall back into its bag. “ I bet you’d look so adorable in it…but at the same time so teasing” his voice dropped a few octaves.

“…oh…is that so” you trailed off, looking everywhere but at him.

“I want to see you in this…” He grumbled. “I really want to see you in this”

“Is that so??” You squeaked.

“Mhm” he smirked.

You stared at the mirror, your eyes bugging put of your head. These weren’t clothes! You felt more naked than being actually naked.

Like ripping off a bandage, Y/N.

You walked out of the bathroom, peeking around the corner to see Taehyung lounged on the couch. Waiting for you. He must have heard you walking because he looked up. You were still pretty much hiding.

“Well?” He grew impatient.

What’s the worse that could happen just go for it.

You revealed the final result of your little (literally) outfit. Taehyung remains emotionless, at least to you he did. You weren’t even aware than he was going through every single way to fuck you in that one outfit. His eyes raked up your body from the transparent lace up corset to the innocent look you wore whilst he studied you. Suddenly he shot up from his seated position, stomping up to you. His hands laced themselves into your hair as he pulled you into a kiss.
He allowed his tongue to roam your mouth, his breath heaving steadily.

“Fuck, you look perfect” he sighed. Taehyung began trailing kisses down neck, sucking harshly and then gliding his tongue over the skin. “I could rip this off of you, and take you right here” he smirked, walking your backward to your bedroom. Suddenly you found yourself on your back, glancing up at Taehyung.

“I could rip this off…but I have a better idea”

The pads of his fingers instantly went to your already soaked core. Through the fabric, he pressed his thumb against you and slid down, prompting a gasp to escape your lips. The friction from the fabric against you plus the heat of his fingers was enough to make you a mess.

“Can I taste you?” He asked darkly, his lips finding yours shortly. “I want to feel you when you come undone for me? I want you to see the pleasure I’m about to give you. Just a taste of that pretty pussy…” He bit his lip.

You choked on another moan as his fingers pressed harder. “So wet for me….Fuck what are you doing to me.”

He adjusted himself so he was at eye level with your throbbing center. Looking up at you with a sly wink, his lips barely feathered over your heat through the fabric. He placed small kisses on your center, then darted his tongue out to create an even greater friction between the fabric.

“T-tae"you squeaked.

You heard him chuckle lowly before lifting his head.

"I can make you scream louder than that” he bit his lip at your shaking and panting. He grabbed the waste bad of your brand new (now soiled) panties and yanked down, only to like a harsh stripe up and between your folds. Suddenly, your phone buzzed beside you, but that didn’t stop him.

“Answer it” he growled between his movements.

“Hello?” You answered as normally as you could. Suddenly, you felt a harsh suck at your clit.

“Hey!” Y/F/N chirped. “You make it home safe??"You heard her ask.

"Uh…yeah!” You squeaked. “Every thing is f-fine” you glared down at Tae, who just chuckled.

“So did Taehyung seen your little number?” She asked. Your thoughts were clouded when Taehyung began pumping his long slender fingers in and out of you.

You tried to disguise your screams with coughs as you answered her.

“Oh, he saw it…He definitely saw it” you replied. “Hey, Y/F/N I gotta go! Just realized I left the stove on"you said then hung up quickly.

You glared down at Taehyung, who was still in the midst of torturing you.

"You. Are. So. Wrong for that” you breathed heavily. Suddenly, he took his off of you and began trailing his lips upwards to meet yours. His fingers never stopped thrusting. His thumb began rubbing wide circles.

Suddenly his movements slowed down only slightly. His lips moved harshly against yours.

“I Believe not Y/N…it hasn’t even started yet”

(…..I’m sorry lol)


I was sixteen years old the first time I walked into The Margaret Sanger Center in lower Manhattan. The home pregnancy test that I had purchased a few nights before was wrapped in a tissue and tucked securely in my purse. It said that I was pregnant.

I don’t remember how many times my boyfriend and I had sex before that day, but it wasn’t many. He was clumsy with condoms, said he hated them, and promised to be careful. I did some research and we agreed that we would only have sex when it was safest, right before or right after my period, although our sixteen year old libidos dictated otherwise more than once.

I was alone and terrified while I waited for the results of my tests. The nurse was kind but clinical and didn’t show much interest in me, which only made things worse. I just wanted reassurance from someone, anyone, that my world wasn’t coming to an end. I was ushered into a private office and instructed to have a seat. The wait was interminable. The posters of uteruses were terrifying. My eyes were brimming with hot tears. Suddenly, I wished I had told my mother.

Her name was Angel and fittingly so. She confirmed that I was indeed eight weeks pregnant, and when I audibly gasped at the news, came around the desk, took both of my hands into hers, and promised me that, in fact, the world was not coming to an end, and she would be there to see to it. She didn’t judge, didn’t condescend, didn’t scold. What she did was educate me, guide me, and offer me options. Then she told me to go home and think about what I wanted to do and get back to her. She promised that when I called she would answer, and she did.

I will be forever grateful to Angel and all of the Angels at Planned Parenthood for empowering me as a young girl to make informed choices about my body and my sex life without requiring parental permission or asking for any kind of payment. I’ve sent friends there for cancer screenings, STD testing, HIV testing, pregnancy testing, Plan B, and general counseling, friends who were too scared or didn’t have the money to go anywhere else.

This morning I stood with my current boyfriend and a few thousand other people in Washington Square Park to continue to push back on this administration’s plan to defund an institution that is essential to quality healthcare in this country. We urge you to fight with us. For that terrified sixteen year old, for women of limited means, for women of color, for trans women, and for women everywhere. Fight with your phones, your wallets, your votes and your voices. One of us can be pushed aside. Two of us can be ignored. But together we are a movement. And we are unstoppable.

House of Cards in the Wind

TITLE: House of Cards in the Wind


AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you were a powerful villain who was captured by S.H.I.E.L.D. and put in Cryogenic storage because there was no other way to deal with you. After doing some research, Loki learned about you and became obsessed. So much, that he looked for you and woke you up, knowing that you’d seek revenge and he would be more than willing to help.

RATING: Teen and Up

NOTES/WARNINGS: This story is the result of an imagine I saw on another blog theartofimagining13. The credit for the imagine goes to the author on that page.

Warning death of minor characters and violence in this fic

“I’ve got bad news, and I’ve got really bad news.” Tony declared as he walked into the room.

“I am not sure what I want first, there are so many great options,” Barton replied sarcastically.

“Loki is back on Earth and there is no way to contact Thor.”

Keep reading

Mulder’s Journal

Entry One (Millennium):

Scully,  Dana,

I’ve been sitting here for close to an hour now, just trying to find the words. Trying to figure out how to tell you what I learned today.

And then I remembered. You wrote to me in a journal, once. Maybe it’s fitting that I do the same, now. At the very least, maybe it will help me make sense of things enough in my head that I can tell you out loud. Once I can find the words, then I just have to find the courage to say them.

Unfortunately, that might be the hardest part.

Maybe it’s because I’m not ready to believe it yet, myself. More likely it’s because I can’t bring myself to do anything that might dampen the beautiful light in your eyes. You’ve been through more than enough pain for one lifetime; how could I possibly justify causing you more?

Jesus, you’re not even here and I’m still stalling.

Okay. Here it is in black and white: There’s something wrong with my brain. I’m sick.

The doctors don’t know what it is, but as of today, they know some of the things it’s not. It’s not cancer or an aneurysm. It’s not whatever happened before with the artifact. It’s not multiple sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s or Alzheimer’s. I should be relieved, but… better the devil you know, right?

So, they don’t know what’s wrong with me. They’re going to do some more tests soon. And I know I should tell you. Hell, if it were you, I’d want to know. When you were sick, before, I hated being in the dark. So I get it, and I’ll tell you. I will. It’s just…

You were so happy this morning. It’s a brand new year, and we wrapped up that case last night (zombies, Scully, we fought actual zombies and won, I just want you to remember that), and then it was so late by the time we got back to my apartment that you actually stayed over. You woke up in my bed this morning, which is undeniably the best way I’ve ever started a new year, and I got to make you breakfast (not bad for a guy with one fully functional arm) and take you back to bed again after. It was too perfect to ruin, to tell you that I had an appointment to get my brain checked out this afternoon. And then after, once I had my laundry list of non-answers… I still don’t know how to break it to you.

I’m a coward, Dana. You’ll be here soon, and I had every intention of telling you tonight, and writing this out was supposed to help, but all it’s done is remind me how beautiful your smile is, how happy you’ve been these past few weeks. I can’t take that away from you. Not yet. Besides, maybe the doctors will have more answers for me after the next appointment. It can wait a little longer.

I’ll tell you soon. I promise. Just not yet.

Keep reading

More Than I'm Supposed To (Witney) - Miss Bianca


There was just something about Willam that just begged you to watch her. It was hard to look anywhere else, really, particularly when she smiled. And Courtney did pride herself on being able to make Willam smile more than usual.


I’m so sorry. I’m supposed to be writing my multichap. But Witney would not leave me alone, and so here we are. It’s not really an AU, I mean, this could’ve happened. Please tell me what you think! - Miss Bianca

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

da:i companions helping the inquisitor after the events of trespasser? particularly the whole arm thing, and maybe how they & the inquisitor cope with it?

So I thought I should do this one since I just finished Trespasser recently. This was one of our first requests on this account and we all felt bad that we couldn’t write it since we hadn’t finished Trespasser. Now I have and I’ll tell you, I’m so sad, both bc of what happens and just that it’s done for now. We have a mix of trespasser asks and since this one is just helping the Inquisitor after events, it will focus on handling the lose of the Inquisitor’s arm and finding out about Solas. Anyway here is this and know that this obviously has some spoilers for Trespasser.

Keep reading

Remedy pt.2

Tags: @the-shewxlf, @megant22, @sexywolfsfordays, @houseofrahl, @sterek-basically, @kittycatgirlmaddie, @misshinehou, @unbreakablevoices, @champagneblues, @dallysgreasergirl, @juliaspnlover, @cineyou, @lipstickstainsandwerewolfchains, @fallenangel-13x, @urwarriorangel, @bless-my-demons, @lunaskyhunter, @arkhamirwin, @fangirlnerd101, @m-a-t-91​, @meanwhilesmiley​, @edithambroreigns​, @totallovelesson@kxttykatmichael

Word count: 3605

Author’s note: I’m shamelessly taking advantage of the fact that I can now insert some good ol’ House gifs in my posts. Also, authentically depicting House’s character is way harder than I initially thought, but hey – it’s my first time with him and I’m trying :) Aaaand prepare for some (a lot of) feels! Enjoy!

Betas: @i-am-a-misguided-misfit, @lipstickstainsandwerewolfchains, @mixed-up-fangirl, @kittycatgirlmaddie, @fallenangel-13x, @the-shewxlf, @b-chocolatelover, @from2016, @safiac, @random-fandom-fangirl2112


Your name: submit What is this?

“A shot man blacked out? You called me back to the hospital for this, idiot? There is no mystery,” House points out to me in a harsh, chiding tone. Clearly he’s moody because he’s back to work, and as such, he doesn’t fail to humiliate me in front of the entire Team for God knows how many time. But it’s fine; I’m getting used to it, and I’m usually not the only victim to his stinging snark.

“He doesn’t remember how it happened. After leaving the message I asked him further questions and it turned out that he hardly ever gets shot,” I say. House frowns at me, while his hand is rubbing his right leg instinctively, apparently without his conscious consent to it. A few seconds later, he averts his mesmerising blue eyes from me only to dart it at the dark grey rug, deep in thought.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” he states firmly, but the heat has now subsided from his tone. “Every cop gets shot from time to time.”

“Would it have been the better choice to leave him there just like that?” I snap. “I thought our priority was healing and making sure no one has further latent sicknesses by investigating until we’re convinced with one out of the many choices,” I retort, crossing my arms over my chest and giving House a meaningful look. When he glances at me, I hold gazes with him for a while before giving in to the temptation to lift an eyebrow at him. House is moving his lips and making faces in the process, while thinking through the options he has. No one speaks; we are all waiting for the boss’ decision.

“Alright. What’s your theory?”

My face lights up at his question—this means he officially accepted to take the officer’s case. I try to stifle my giddiness as I launch into my explanation, “It obviously has something to do with his brain. Most likely it was caused by Multiple Sclerosis or a tumor in his brain. I was planning to give him a CT and lumbar puncture.” House nods okay, and motions in the general direction of the glass door with his cane.

“Nice. Good for us, not good for the patient. Go ahead,” he says. I’m standing before he could even finish his sentence, and after closing the officer’s file on the table and picking it up, I head to the door with the folder clutched to my chest. However, before I’d leave the office, House warns, “If you’re wrong, you’re fired.”

The travel in the elevator seems suffocating after House’s threat. Cuddy has told him he’s not in the position to decide whether I stay or go, but I know him, and I’m definitely convinced that if he doesn’t want me to work on a case, he can sabotage my attempts to take part in it in any way.

Just to make sure, I quickly check the officer’s name once more when I arrive to the floor he’s housed on, then walk to his room, weaving my way through the few visitors and haphazard doctors. Upon entering, the man looks at me, and I give him a small smile in return, hoping he isn’t so worked up like he was yesterday.

“Derek Hale?” I ask politely, approaching the bed he’s laying on, now dressed in just a flimsy pale green outfit that the hospital’s patients are given. My eyes take a momentary glance at the monitor to see his ECG diagram.

“That’s me,” he answers. His voice conveys no distress, no anger, just resignation, like he’s surrendered to medicine. His eyes slip down to my ID then, tilting his head just the tiniest bit to align it with the angle of the card, eyes squinting to try and read my name.

“y/n Lockwood,” I introduce myself, for some reason feeling tempted to stick my hand out for him to shake. This is how it’s appropriate, right? He takes my hand in his—I’ve always known my hands are small, but the way his broad palm and long fingers wrap around it, makes it look even more insignificant in size. He gives me a firm squeeze, which I return, then we let go of each other. “I need to do a few tests on you,” I announce then, picking up his chart from the end of the bed, and pulling the pen out of the pocket over my chest, clicking it and writing on his paper the tests that are going to be done on him.

“What tests?” he asks curtly, crossing his impressively muscled arms in subconscious defence. I hang the chart back on the bed before walking back to stand next to him. “Just a CT and a lumbar puncture,” I answer. “No worries, the latter sounds worse than it actually is.”

“I’m not a vulnerable eggshell, you know,” Derek comments. For a second, I think he was offended by my statement, think that he took it personally, but the way his eyes twinkle slyly, I realise he’s just asserting his masculinity a little sarcastically. Once more, I reach out for him to help him move, but he dismisses it with a shake of his head. Throwing the blanket to the side, and turning to let his legs hang from the side of the bed, he adds, “I was just shot. I can walk by myself.”

I nod slowly, suddenly feeling embarrassed for some reason. My voice is a near squeak when I say, “Right. Follow me then, please.”

I wait while he puts his robe on to cover more of his body—the green outfit is short, like the patient is merely wearing an oversized T-shirt, and the V-neck of it leaves nothing to my imagination regarding Derek’s pectorals, collar bones and strong shoulders. He slips into his slippers, then we take off to the CT machine first.

. o O o .

“There is no tumor in his brain,” I inform the Team about the results of the CT. House gives me a look and narrows his eyes at me suspiciously. The only reason this makes me feel worse than usual is because this time he isn’t the only one standing in front of the rest of the Team—I’m there beside him, too. To relieve the tension a bit, I hold on to the folder in my hands for dear life, fingers gripping it just a touch stronger than a moment ago.

“You’re too calm,” he assesses. “Too calm for someone who was told could be fired if not everything goes smoothly. So I assume there’s more to it.”

I do my best to tamper down the smugness that’s bubbling up in my throat as I hand him over the paper with the results of the lumbar puncture. “As you can see, the amount of his proteins and leukocytes are increased.”

Chase’s head perks up from where he was playing with his pen until now, “That means encephalitis.”

“Told you it was something,” I say pointedly to House, who just looks at me in return. I suppose the knowing smirk on my face wasn’t overlooked by his insightful blue eyes, because he quips, “Come on, don’t be so happy about someone having an encephalitis. What kind of doctor are you? Sociopathic?”

I’m fast to react. “What if I told you I was?” I ask challengingly.

“The million dollar question is, what would you do upon hearing my answer, in case you’re actually a sociopath.”

“How about letting me know your answer and see where it goes?” I offer. The lightest, vaguest hint of a smile on his thin lips lights up House’s worn-out features. He tells me, “Go and give him antivirals. Also, make a test to find out if he has syphilis and check his body for potential marks of a sting from a tick.”

I don’t have to be told twice. I’m already worried about our cop just fine—I’m aware this is going against House’s number two rule here, the ‘don’t get attached to the patient’ rule. The uttermost policy is ‘everybody lies’.

I don’t find Derek in his room, so I have to go look for him. There was a case a couple months ago where we had to play hide and seek with the patient, and it was no fun for us; House was so livid, the Team was nearly snagged for someone getting fired. As for now, I couldn’t tell if my current frustration or my general worry for him is stronger at the moment—I know that if another blackout occurs, I would have to be there immediately. Besides, anything could happen to him while the time’s ticking by with me just searching for him everywhere frantically, even without him fainting.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take me more than a few minutes to find him—sitting on a couch next to the artificial waterfall, a woman on his side, the two of them holding hands. She’s wearing a black skirt suit with matching high-heels, her dark hair put in a neat ballerina bun, giving her a professional appearance. For some reason, it makes me feel utterly small, like she reminds me of the fact that I could never be like her; so strong, so attractive, so stylish. No, I’m just here in my jeans, my flat shoes and a casual shirt, all this adorned by my white labcoat and the ponytail I put my hair in this morning. I guess the clichéd roles—the queen bee and the nerd—will stick to the people for their entire lives. Inhaling deeply, I force a smile on my face before taking off towards them, but a part of Derek’s sentence is enough to stop me in my tracks.

“I’m afraid I’ll lose my job,” comes his quiet voice. The woman strokes his upper arm soothingly, then settles her hand on his shoulder and gives it an encouraging squeeze. Her other hand is still resting in her lap, palm facing up, welcoming Derek’s in it to provide him silent comfort.

“I’m sure it’s nothing serious,” she assures softly. Contrary to what it does to Derek—calming him down and giving him hope—it unsettles me to no end. I’m just about to inform him about the very serious illness that could explain his condition, and now this burden feels even more unbearable than before. “You’ll be just fine. I’m sure in two days you’re going to be chasing criminals again.” No one should be punished with having to tell someone their life is in jeopardy, or how long they have before their disease takes over. No one signs up for shattering dreams, but for healing and saving lives—saving their dreams. My body feels like a cage to me, from which I can’t escape before I’m done with my duty. With the lump huger in my throat, I force my legs to take me to where they are sitting.

“Mr. Hale,” I greet him. My voice comes out as a squeak, despite how hard I’m trying to prevent that. But seeing how his face lights up with the hope the woman gave him? It makes me want to cry, because I know I can’t live up to those expectations.

“Dr. Lockwood,” he nods to me, then motions towards the elegant woman on his side. “This is my elder sister, Laura.” I shake hands with her, but the smile I give her is tight, and I’m sure she noticed it, because her brow twitches shallowly. The grip Laura gives is firm, giving it away to me that she’s a determined person who knows what she wants, and isn’t afraid to go for it.

“Did you figure out anything?” she asks, taking her hand back. I’m taken aback by that question—usually, people start with something like, ‘he’s alright, right?’. Clearly she craves effectiveness and results, not beating around the bush. I have to swallow against the dryness in my mouth before I could speak.

“Yes,” I answer. The siblings’ attention is availably doubled at that, and my heart twists painfully in my chest, knowing that what I’m about to say is not what they are expecting to be told. This is why, I give them a meek warning beforehand, “But you won’t be happy with the results.” My voice is ginger, but tight. Even without my eyes dropping lower than their eyes, I can clearly catch the way Laura’s hand closes tighter around Derek’s. I struggle to go on, “According to the lumbar puncture, Mr. Hale’s leukocyte and protein number is higher than normal.”

“What does that mean?” Laura asks instead of Derek, tone calm and measured, but I can sense the underlying vibrating anxiousness. As soon as the words left my mouth, Derek tilted his head forward to look at the ground instead of me, like he can’t bear seeing me. It feels like a punch to the gut. I close my eyes apologetically for a moment, then explain hoarsely, “It means that Mr. Hale has encephalitis.”

This is the point where Laura loses her perfect mask of the sophisticated woman she normally shows to the world—it perishes silently, in the form of a fat teardrop escaping from her eye and rolling down her cheek. On the other hand, Derek handles it exactly how a strong man would do; he even has the capacity to wrap an arm around Laura and pull her close to him to comfort her, even though it should be the other way around. Laura, though, refuses it for being too proud, already wiping away the stray drop from her face, like it’s never made it there. Derek’s face is expressionless, and the fact he isn’t looking at me anymore stabs me in the chest. His green gaze is fixed on Laura, and nothing else.

I decide to leave them, assuming it’s the best thing I could do, but only after muttering an apology, despite I know this isn’t my fault. I shouldn’t let it get to me, and lately I’ve been getting better at it, but this single occasion ruined all my past successes. I go for the medicine I have to give Derek, then to his room to find a nurse undoing the covers on Derek’s bed.

“Erica, what are you doing?” I ask, putting the antiviral on the nightstand beside the bed. She turns to look at me with a smile.

“Changing his covers, if it wasn’t obvious already,” she quips. I can’t force a grin even for a second after what happened between me and the Hale siblings. Erica doesn’t fail to notice my unease, and she inquires, brows furrowing, “Is something wrong?” Setting down the blanket that’s halfway to being freed, she comes up to me, touching my upper arm gently.

“No, nothing,” I lie, asking the first thing that comes to my mind just to change the subject as soon as possible. “Why are you changing those?” I nod in the general direction of the mess Erica has made. She sighs and goes back to resume her work.

“He’s been going a lot to the toilet. Last time he couldn’t make it there, though, so his vomit ended up on the bed,” she replies, grimacing at the story she shared with me. Clearly the stink is bothering her.

I acknowledge her answer with a nod, then I sit down at the bed, now lacking the sheets, to wait for Derek to return, regardless of the aversion I have for that.

. o O o .

In the end, it takes Derek almost an hour to migrate back and to take his place at his now clear, freshly covered bed. He halts at the door upon noticing me, and just watches me with an expressionless stare. The stretching silence is deafening me, especially with the glass walls shutting out every noise, but this time I can’t bring myself to break it. Instead, I opt to do my job to give myself something else to focus on; I place the plastic pocket of antiviral on the hook above the bed and, after Derek laid down, I inject the other end in his vein. To my surprise and relief, he speaks up.

“How bad is my sickness?” I look at him. Derek’s gaze is darted firmly at the ceiling, not at me, making it clear to me he’s still uncomfortable with seeing me. It stings, but at least he’s now talking—I should appreciate all the small victories. His face is still devoid of emotions.

“We’ll have to figure that out with an MRI later, but right now, the priority is to find out what caused the illness in the first place.”

Derek acknowledges my answer with a nod, then closes his eyes—I get the message loud and clear; he’s telling me without words to leave him alone now. I don’t have a reason to protest, so I consent.

. o O o .

I arrive to the restaurant twenty minutes late. Rushing in, I scan the place, searching for my dinner partners. I spot them in one of the hidden corners, at a dimply lit box with a table and four chairs around it. I stride over to them with a wide grin, greeting them and taking my coat off to lay it on the back of the chair.

“Hey, y/n, long time no see.”

“Scott,” I nod, hugging him briefly before wrapping Allison up in my embrace, too. “Sorry for being late,” I say genuinely, sitting down. “My boss likes to give his Team all the work.”

“We know; everyone knows House’s reputation,” Scott waves it off with a hand.

“How are you?” I ask then, turning to Allison. She beams at me with a shining smile.

“The baby’s due on 14th February,” she announces giddily. “I’m perfectly fine, and so is my baby boy. Only two more months to go,” she drops her eyes at her extended belly, reaching up to rub it fondly, delicately. I chuckle.

“So he’s going to be a Valentine’s boy, huh. How do you know if the baby’s going to be a boy, though? You had it checked?” I ask.

“We don’t exactly know. Allison doesn’t want to check it, wants to wait until he’s born, but she’s convinced he’s a boy,” Scott explains.

“That’s cute,” I coo. A waiter comes to me to take my order, and after the brief chat I have with him, I devote my attention to my friends again.

“And how’s your internship at Princeton?” Allison asks. I shrug; honestly I really don’t wish to talk about that right now—I’d just ruin the mood with it, and that’s the last thing I want. I give them a subtle hint, “I don’t think that’s a fitting subject at the moment.” Scott winces and gives me a worried look.

“Did something happen?” I shake my head no, and pick up my napkin to busy myself with something—also to give myself an excuse not to have to look into either of their eyes.

“No,” I respond a little too late for the other two to believe it. Not that the timing would have mattered anyway; they know me all too well since high school.

“Tell us about it,” Allison urges.

“I really don’t think this is the appropriate time to –”

“y/n, don’t expect me to leave my other best friend tonight without talking this over with her,” Scott demands, a serious gleam in his deep, chestnut brown eyes. “Your face gives you away easily, you know, and I can see it’s something that deeply affected you.”

“Oh yeah, how Stiles and Lydia are doing?” I ask, desperately trying to lead the conversation in another direction, shamelessly taking the chance to talk about the other best friend Scott has without a second thought. While Scott is already opening his mouth to tell me about the other couple, Allison cuts in with a sharp, “y/n”.

“Okay, okay, got it,” I cry out, throwing my hands up in surrender. “So we have a new case since yesterday, and after testing the patient, it turned out he has encephalitis. And he’s a cop.” I take a deep breath before going on, “I had to tell him while his elder sister was there, too.”

“Poor baby,” Allison coos, reaching over the table to stroke my hand soothingly. I’m not surprised by her being so touchy-feely, nor the nickname she addressed me by—I blame it on the raging hormones in her body; thanks to them, she’s way more sensitive to emotional distress than an ordinary person, who isn’t carrying a blooming life under their heart. I manage to smile at her, albeit it doesn’t quite reach my eyes.

“We’re staying here in New Jersey until the baby’s born,” Scott chimes in to whisk the tension away, and the news don’t fail to light up my face.

“Seriously?” I ask, eyes excitedly commuting between the future parents, who just nod at the same time to me with a smile on their faces.

“Yes. And I’m going to attend controls at Princeton-Plainsboro,” Allison says proudly.

“Oh my God,” I chuckle, leaning back on the chair to rest against the back of it. “Give me a call whenever you’re there.”

“Definitely,” she promises. Scott places his hand on her belly to stroke it affectionately. I have never seen such an expression on Scott’s face before—it’s a mixture of responsibility-consciousness, fatherly protection, undying love and slight possessiveness. But above all, it’s meek.

Scott is now officially a grown-up man.

What to expect: Recovering from a rhinoplasty

Take all of this as guidelines, as it varies a lot from case to case. I just thought I’d write some random information for anyone who is interested!

  • After the surgery you stay one night stay at the hospital, then you return home the next morning.
  • You need to wear a cast for about 1 week.
  • You might have to have nasal packaging (tubes of cotton inside your nose) usually for 1 day.
  • Bruising around the eyes can occur. It’s common if there is work around the bridge of the nose or if your nose is broken. 
  • SWELLING. There’s a lot. Most of the swelling is gone after one month, but it is not fully gone until 6 months to a year. 
  • You need to avoid vigorous exercise, lifting heavy things, sunburn for at least a month.
  • You cannot blow your nose for 2 weeks. That sounds minor but it’s actually really annoying.
  • There’s usually very little pain. It looks a lot worse than it feels.
  • It’s normal to go through depression after the surgery. It’s normal to worry you made a mistake at first. There’s a lot of waiting for the result, and many people don’t realise how long it is before you see the final result.

A Close Call


Pairing: Derek x Reader

Prompt: We’re falling apart aren’t we

Summary: Yours and Derek’s relationship had been rocky, but neither of you wanted to acknowledge it until both of you have to face the fact, that the relationship isn’t how it used to be.

Another mission, another plan, another chance at losing his life. You were sitting on the couch while Derek, Scott, Lydia, Stiles, Allison and Isaac were going over the battle plan.

“Scott and I will go in first, no-one came in until we give the all clear” Derek instructed, “Isaac you and Allison will be guarding the building, while Lydia and Stiles will be finding a way to turn the power off”.

“What if this doesn’t go as plan, I mean they rarely do” Isaac pitched in.

“Really? Your going to bring negativity to the table?” Stiles asked.

You bit your lip to not laugh, Stiles and Isaac always argued and most of the time it was entertaining you couldn’t deny that.

“It will work okay, and if not then we stick together” Scott answered.

“Okay, we’ll all meet in an hour” Derek said.

Each of them nodded and left the loft. You got up from the couch and approached Derek, “And let me guess I stay here?” you asked him.

He lifted his head, “If were about to have an argument Y/N, can it wait until I get back?”.

This was what it had been like for the past month. Derek was normally a closed off person, due to past experiences and you didn’t blame him for that. The first few months of the relationship had been bliss, but nothing can last forever and now it was constant distance, short conversations and more arguments than usual.

“That’s the point I’ve been trying to make Derek, what if you don’t come back?”.

He put on his jacket and walked over to you, “I will always come back to you” he said before walking out the loft door. That might had been the most sincere Derek has been in a month, but it still didn’t fill that empty feeling you had.

Night fell and still Derek hadn’t came home yet, this was one of those restless nights where you wouldn’t allow yourself to fall asleep until he was right beside you. Pacing, sitting and then back to pacing the room was what it had been like since you saw the sky turn to night.

“Where are you Derek?” you said looking out the window. You knew that if anything had happened, a phone call from Scott would have came but considering there wasn’t you still couldn’t decide if you should be relived, or even more worried.

Sitting down on the bed in the corner you picked up his pillow and it still lingered with his scent, playing with the ends of it the door opened. Jumping up Scott was helping Derek in, he wasn’t badly injured but he did have some bruises and his arm was bleeding. Helping Scott bring Derek to the couch you asked, “What happened?”.

“One of the came out of nowhere and blindsided him, I would of called earlier to tell you we were all fine but so much was going on”. Scott said

You lightly smiled and told Scott not to worry about it, he bid the two of you goodnight and you sat down next to your injured boyfriend. Usually you would ask him how he was, grab a towel and clean up his injuries but this time you didn’t know if he would allow you to do all those things.

“Do you want me to get you some water?” you asked.

Derek leaned his head back for a second before his hand found yours, “We’re falling apart aren’t we?” he asked, however it sounded more like a statement than a question. Because whether either of you liked it the answer was obvious.

“We can talk about it in the morning, you need to get some rest”. Getting up, Derek grabbed your wrist.

“Please, just tell me if I’m about to lose you…if I’m about to lose us”. He didn’t care if he was bleeding, that you could tell. His eyes bore into yours and the longer you held the gaze, it became harder to figure out what to say.

Sitting back down, you took a moment to yourself. Granted this past month wasn’t easy and the amount of work, commit and energy went into being with Derek ended up always worth it. But was that the case this time around?

“I don’t know what to say Derek, our relationship changed this past month. I think we both knew it, the feeling was there. And now we can’t ignore that fact anymore” you said to him.

He shifted closer to you, as he did so you could see the pain in his face from the injury on his arm. “Derek you need to rest” you told him

He placed his hand on your cheek, and you closed your eyes to hold onto that feeling it gave you. “I’ll rest once I know that this isn’t over. I know I’ve been distant and frankly a shitty boyfriend, and I can’t believe you haven’t left early. But I promise you that whatever this is, whatever created this road bump for us…we’ll get through it. Because I’m not ready to lose you”.

Opening your eyes, you locked onto his and for the first time in what felt like forever you saw a hint of the old Derek, the one who you fell for.

“I’m not ready to lose you either” you said to him

“Does that mean we’re going to try and fix this?” his voice sounded hopeful.

Nodding felt like the best answer, he pulled you close and laid your head on his shoulder. “How’s your arm” you asked.

He chuckled, “I was waiting for you to ask. It’s fine, I’ve had worse”

It felt like Derek and you hit the reset button on the relationship. You knew this wasn’t going to be easy, heck even he knew it as well. But the shear fact that both of you are willing to not let this road bump, result in the end of your relationship said a lot. It would take more than this to tear you and Derek apart.

Feeling your eyelids get heavy, you almost missed it but before sleep took over you heard Derek say, “I’m falling so madly in love with you Y/N”.

And that’s when you knew that this relationship was still alive, that you and Derek were going to be okay.

anonymous asked:

Romanced companions reaction to a short Sole? How would they kiss? Which the companion would pick them up 24/7?

Sorry for being gone so long, I’ve recently got a full time grad job so I’ve had no time to write, and then I got second degree burns and then the flu (basically, it’s been very stressful). I’m still going to write, it’ll just be the update times… So, instead of guessing the companions heights, what I’ve done is tried to find the heights of the voice actors and went from there (minus a couple who were too short for my HC’s lol).


Cait wasn’t the tallest person ever either, standing at 5’5, so for Sole to be smaller than her was an impressive feat. But Sole was shorter, and Cait found it funny most of the time. Sure, Cait didn’t make jokes like some of the other companions, but in private there was a few jokes.

Before they got in a romantic relationship, Cait would make a lot more jokes and comments about how short and ‘angry’ Sole was- along with laughing along when other people made the same sorts of comments- but after, Cait was a lot more protective, telling off anyone that made jokes about them.

What with Cait being somewhat short as well, it was pretty easy on them both whenever they kissed. Cait had to lean down a little to kiss Sole, but it didn’t cause neckaches like most of the other taller companions. At nights when they slept, Sole usually ended up being the small spoon, but that was mostly because whenever they tried to be the big spoon, Cait would start kicking Sole in the shin.

Cait wouldn’t pick up Sole, purely for the fact that she know’s just how annoying it is when people pick her up as if she was a child- although she didn’t exactly help Sole whenever any of their other friends and companions tried to pick them up.


Curie had a little bit of a say in the body that she would possess when she got the her new body. She had a say in height, and although she kinda wanted to see how tall people lived being so tall, she ended up with a body that was 5’6 and a half (the half is very important).

She was taller than Sole, and she found it very cute. She didn’t want Sole to go out on missions, fearing that they’d end up getting hurt too badly, but Sole had soon put her mind at rest that they could handle themselves properly.

They had a very happy relationship- and they liked to spend a lot of time kissing (obviously when they weren’t saving the Commonwealth, one person at a time). Since Curie was shortish as well, they fitted pretty well together when they kissed, with Curie usually leaning down only a little to kiss Sole, and sometimes Curie would even kiss Sole on the forehead- although Sole didn’t really like it that much, telling Curie that it was like they were getting a kiss from their parents.

Curie might be shortish, but she wasn’t the strongest of people, so even if she wanted to pick up Sole, she couldn’t. Sole would usually joke around and try and pick Curie up, but after one time where Sole had tried and ended up falling over with Curie in their arms, they’d given up trying on account of hurting themselves.


When Sole had first stumbled into the courtyard of Cambridge Police Station, they were highly intimidated at the Paladin, who stood some three or more feet taller than them at 8’5 in his Power Armour. Once Sole had joined the Brotherhood and got to know Danse a little more, and got to know Danse out of the Power armour, he stood a good 6’4 out of his bulky Power Armour.

He overshadowed Sole, which would most of the time leave him in bouts of laughter- especially when near other Brotherhood soldiers. It did, however, leave him anxious when they were fighting- he would often lose sight of Sole, leaving him searching again and again trying to find them, wishing and hoping that they were safe.

Kissing was hard. Very hard. Sole was so much smaller than Danse, and when they went to kiss he would end up straining his neck to just get halfway down. They would usually have to end up kissing whilst sitting or lying down, and that usually lead to different, more, exciting things happening.

Danse usually tried to refrain from picking Sole up, usually because they were around fellow Brotherhood brothers and sister, and it was inappropriate. He once found himself picking them up whilst they were running away from a car that was about to explode- Sole wasn’t running quick enough. The bad thing about it was that Danse was in his Power Armour and Sole ended up with bruises over their stomach, arms and legs as well, along with a fractured wrist where Danse had grabbed their arm to lift them up.


“I mean, I know the cold makes you shrink, but did it have to make you that small?”

Sole was tired of all the little ‘small person’ jokes that Deacon makes all the time. It had started the second that they met, but when they made their relationship more romantic than platonic, the jokes got worse.

‘I’ll give you a piggyback- wait, can you get up there?’ ‘The thing is Sole, I appreciate the little things in life. That’s why I’m dating you’ or Sole’s favourite ‘Now Sole, I know you are getting old- I mean, 200 is old yeah? so I found you a toothpick. Figured you could use it as a walking stick’.

Deacon was quite tall, standing at 6’2, so whenever he wanted to kiss Sole, he would always lean down to do it. This usually resulted in Deacon (and sometimes Sole from straining up) getting a neckache, and them having to sit down on a sofa or bed for Sole to straddle him- not that Deacon minded being in that position.

Deacon would frequently offer Sole piggy back rides across the Commonwealth. When he started asking, Sole would instantly refuse. But after a while- and when they got into a proper romantic relationship-, they slowly began accepting the rides.

Sole got mad one time when Deacon just picked them up and ran away from a Super Mutant, and every time that Deacon went to pick Sole up he had to remember that he’d end up with a smack around the head from them if he did.  


Hancock was adamant that he stood at 5’10, however Sole was sure that his boots put on an extra inch (if not two). Sole would sometimes tease Hancock about his height and how he ‘lies’ about it, but then he would just throw Sole a look. A look of ‘continue talking and I’ll throw you out to the lions’.

Hancock would sometimes make jokes about Sole’s short stature, or would join in the joking that their other friends and companions would aim at Sole. Hancock was pretty chill about making jokes about Sole, so long as the jokes didn’t go too far and end up hurting Sole’s feelings.

Their kissing was a little difficult- sure, Hancock wasn’t overly tall, but he still nearly a foot taller than Sole, so they still ended up kissing really awkwardly.


MacCready liked to think he was the tallest person in the world, but in reality, he only stood at 5’11, which was still a lot taller than Sole. MacCready liked to joke about Sole’s height at every possible opportunity, but whenever anyone else- be it a friend or anyone else- he would get overly protective.

MacCready was almost as bad as Deacon for the jokes, but not quite. He would still make jokes about Sole on various occasions (including the one time that they were being chased by a hoard of super mutants and he joked that he’d throw them onto the roof of a passing building), but MacCready knew when enough was enough.

MacCready didn’t like to flaunt their relationship in public, so that meant that they rarely- if ever- kissed in public. Which meant that they usually kissed in the privacy of their shared house where nobody could see them. They usually kissed whilst sitting or lying down, meaning that neither had to strain any parts of their body to kiss the other. On the rare occasion that they did end up kissing in public, it was usually a quick peck on the lips.

MacCready wouldn’t even dare trying to pick up Sole- he was too scared of them to even attempt it.


As a synth, Nick stood tall at 6’1, towering over the short Sole- and he also towered over the majority of the rest of the Commonwealth. Nick didn’t make many jokes regarding Sole’s height, infact it was Sole that made jokes about Nick’s height- Nick tried to not indulge Sole by laughing at the jokes, but he did- most of the time- find them funny.

When he first saw Sole, coming up the stairs with their gun raised towards the mobster outside the window, it took everything inside him to stop himself from laughing- they were very short, and Nick had to wonder how Sole had survived this far in the ‘Wealths.

In the very beginnings of their relationship, Nick was very reluctant to kiss Sole- there was many a times when he’d told them that they had deserved someone so much better than him, someone who was more than half a human, as he liked to say. Sole liked to remind him that they loved him the way he was. As their relationship began to grow and flourish, Nick slowly began to feel more comfortable kissing Sole, with Nick leaning down to kiss Sole to avoid Sole getting a bad neck.

Nick tried not to pick up Sole too often, however in occasions where they needed to get away quickly, Nick would end up picking up Sole as their legs were too short to move quick enough.  


Piper wasn’t the tallest of people either, standing at 5’6, not too much taller than Sole- but she was still taller than them. Piper was quite a serious person, so didn’t like to make many jokes about Sole’s height, however there were a few occasions when a joke would slip from her lips.

Kissing for the couple was relatively easy, neither of them put themselves out to kiss the other, especially when they were sitting or lying down. Piper liked their relationship to be private, both because of what Piper does (she doesn’t want people targeting Sole) and because the majority of the Commonwealth hated Sole- they were even on the Gunners hit list.

Piper did once try and pick up Sole, but she’s not the strongest of people and nearly ended up dropping Sole on their head. After that, Sole made Piper promise to never pick them up again, which Piper was more than happy to agree too.


The hat made Preston look taller than he actually was. Without the hat on, he stood at 5’11, which was still quite tall, and still a lot taller than Sole was. He didn’t like making jokes about Sole’s height- he didn’t want to accidently hurt their feelings by saying something too out of order.

They usually kissed a lot- before they went public they hid their relationship, but after they finally went public, they were happy to kiss in front of their friends and those that were minutemen. Sole usually went out travelling with other friends and companions, so when Sole and Preston were reunited, they would usually kiss as soon as they set eyes on one another, with Preston leaning down to kiss Sole, and Sole standing on their toes to reach up.

Preston doesn’t really like picking Sole up too much, but whenever Sole asked if he could give them a piggy back ride, he’d be more than happy to oblige (but only if they were in a safe place like Sanctuary, where there wasn’t too many prying eyes watching their every move).


Usually all of the coursers stood at roughly 6’ tall, for various reason, including it being able to help the way that they fought when out in the ‘Wealths. X6 was exactly 6’ tall, and towered over Sole- and most other people within the Commonwealth. When X6 first started travelling with Sole, he acted more as a bodyguard than anything else.

When they made their relationship more romantic than platonic, it was a stark difference. X6 tried to avoid kissing at all cost, but the couple eventually came to the agreement that if they were going to be in a relationship, then they needed to do things that couples do, which involved kissing. Their kisses usually involved X6 bending down to kiss Sole, with him pressing feather light kisses on their lips.

X6 didn’t like people knowing about their relationship, mainly because everyone usually ended up teasing the pair and X6 didn’t like that. He usually refused to carry Sole anywhere, saying that they needed to not be lazy, but the real reason was because he wouldn’t be able to defend Sole properly if something bad happened.  


The leader of the Brotherhood of Steel was tall, standing at 6’2. Sole liked to joke with him that his battlecoat made him drop a few inches- but the joking usually ended up in some sort of punishment- whether that be something somewhat sexual or not, that was up to Arthur.

Maxson sometimes liked to joke around regarding Sole’s short height, but he usually ended up taking it a step too far and making Sole a little upset, so he usually kept his thoughts to himself.

Sole didn’t like the whole of the Brotherhood knowing about their relationship, however for Maxson it was the opposite- Maxson wanted everyone aboard the ship to know that Sole was his and wasn’t to be touched by anyone else under any circumstance. In front of other people, Maxson’s kisses were rough, with him leaning down to kiss, but in private they were soft and gentle, usually with Sole settled on his lap.

He never really liked to pick Sole up, only when in private or when out in the Commonwealth (like the one occasion that Sole got injured and Maxson ended up carrying them back to the waiting Vertibird).  


Desdemona was a tallish woman, standing at 5’9. Sure, she wasn’t the tallest, but she was still a lot taller than Sole (Des and Glory had ‘arguments’ over who was tallest, Glory was sure it was her but it was actually Des). Des is serious most of the time- being the head of the Railroad made her serious, and she had to be, as she needed to care for so many people, and the attack on the switchboard still played on her mind.

When Sole and Des kissed, it was usually in private- or on the rare occasion that Sole was going on a particularly difficult mission, Des would press a light kiss on Soles lips and watch as they leave.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Deacon that teased them the most about their height difference, it was actually Carrington. It was more snide little digs than actual jokes, but all Des needed to do was throw him a look and he was quiet again.

Des didn’t like to pick up Sole- she said that you picked up children, not adults. They’d never had an occasion that Des had needed to pick up Sole.

And now, KaiShin Week Day Two!  Secrets and Protection!

“Shinichi, are you ever going to tell him?” Ran glanced to where Kaito was setting up his weekly magic show at the local park.  Shinichi smiled at her.

“Probably not.  He thinks he’s protecting me.”

“From what?”

“I’m not sure,” Shinichi shrugged.  “Either the people after him or the fact that we’re meant to be enemies, not boyfriends.”

“You should probably tell him.”

“Probably, but I thought I’d let him come clean on his own.  It’s what you did.”  Shinichi crossed his arms behind his head, shooting Kaito a grin.  Ran sighed.

“Fine, fine, do whatever you want, as usual.”  Ran shook her head.  “It’s a shame he hasn’t realized that most of your friends know, though.  He does realize we’re almost all detectives or as smart as detectives, right?”

“Yeah, but I think he’s gotten complacent, since Hakuba doesn’t want to prove it.”

“What have you two been talking about over here?” Kaito jogged over to them, skipping to a stop.  “Anything important?  Is it about me?”  Kaito batted his eyelashes.

Keep reading

Thank You

This is another quick fanfic I wrote a while back, but this time with a Sakura x Sasuke pairing. Hope whoever reads it, enjoys it!

“Sasuke…I’m pregnant.”

Having found themselves on the outskirts of the Land of Wind, the wife and husband duo stopped to rest beneath a rather large tree. While Sasuke was more than willing to push ahead, Sakura insisted that they stop for a bit. It was unlike her, but he stopped nonetheless. And after a brief moment of silence between the two, his wife spoke.

Pregnant. The word was practically foreign to his ears and in all honesty, he wasn’t sure how to react. Did he react with joy or worry? Did he send her back to the Leaf? Travelling around pregnant certainly wasn’t a good idea and it couldn’t possibly be good for the baby.

“Sasuke?” The subtle worry in her voice made him turn. That’s right. He still hadn’t responded.

“Sakura,” he stepped forward, placing a gentle hand atop her head. “…That’s great news.” A smile lifted his lips. It really was great news. Sakura, his wife, was pregnant with his child.

“Oh good,” she breathed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know it’s a bit of a shock but…I’m happy.” She placed her hands gently to her stomach, a blush warming her cheeks. She was truly the essence of beauty and the more he looked at her, the more in love with her he became. And he would come to love her more and more as her stomach expanded. He honestly didn’t know what to do with himself for the next nine months. But as the months progressed and as Sakura’s belly grew, Sasuke grew more and more comfortable with the fact that he was going to be a father. The Uchiha Clan, his family, was slowly expanding.

“Hey Sasuke, why don’t we take a break here?” Sakura was standing a little ways away from him, her hand resting on her stomach. Having moved from the Land of Wind and entering the Land of Earth, the two stopped to rest at a nearby stream. Nearly six months ago, Sakura announced her pregnancy and now, here she stood; harboring their child. He watched as the woman relaxed into the grass, releasing a soft sigh as she did so.

“Man, this baby sure is heavy. And it’s only been six months.” She looked down at her rounding stomach, caressing it gently. The young woman was more than a little excited for this child to be born. After all, this child alone would be the exact representation of their love. Looking up towards the black haired man, she watched as he silently sat down beside her.

“Did you want to feel?” She inquired, a small smirk on her lips. Sasuke stared at her, completely dumbfounded. Although he had thought about it several times, he was always too embarrassed to ask her for permission. The last thing he needed was to feel her stomach and find himself eating dirt the next instant. Or worse; getting laughed at.

Or even worse…being called cute.

Sighing softly, he stretched an arm forward and placed it on her stomach. It was a strange and exciting feeling. Her stomach was much rounder than it had been before and warmer than usual. Could that be a result of the child growing within?
“Our child,” he said suddenly, keeping his eyes focused on her stomach. “I can’t wait to meet them.” He looked up at his wife, rewarded with the soft pink hue to her cheeks. Her eyes wide and mouth agape - it seemed he said something rather surprising.

Attempting a feeble recovery, she responded quickly, “W-Well, we’d better keep moving. Right?” On a typical day, the young man would have easily agreed with her. He still had much of the world to see and he wasn’t about to stop now. But this time, he replied softly, “No. Let’s rest a little longer.”

“Huh?” Sakura was more than surprised at the answer. She couldn’t possibly have heard him right. He wanted to rest longer? Her eyes fell to his hand. Did he want to stay with the baby longer? Did he want to enjoy these small moments? Looking at his soft, gentle smile, she could only assume this was true.

With a smile of her own, she lifted a hand and rest it atop his own. It would only be a matter of time before their child was ready to enter the world. And when that day arrived, it would be the happiest day for the both of them.

“So,” she caressed her own stomach, a little ways away from Sasuke’s hand. “Have you told Kakashi Sensei yet?” He looked up at her, face stern. “Or…Naruto?”

In an instant, he stood and replied, “Let’s get going.” Sakura’s jaw dropped. What was so wrong with letting their friends know about the pregnancy? Was it really that awful of an idea?

Grabbing the hand he extended, she pulled herself up from the grass. “H-Hey, Sasuke,” she followed after him, amazed at how quickly he could move. “There’s nothing wrong with telling those guys! I’m sure they’d be more than excited to hear about the baby. Sasuke! Wait!”

Stopping just before the treeline that lead deeper into the woods, he watched her silently. Of course he thought to tell Kakashi and Naruto. He did so several weeks after she announced her pregnancy, but he wasn’t about to admit that to Sakura. If he did, she would hold it over him for days on end and he would never escape her teasing. Picturing it now gave him chills and so, he would avoid the topic as much as possible. For now, he would keep her distracted with something more important; a name for the baby.

“Hey, Kakashi Sensei! Any letters yet?”

Naruto came in almost every morning, asking the same question time and time again. And each morning, Kakashi would respond with the same answer: “No.” But this time and this time only, the man replied calmly, “As a matter of fact, I just received a letter from Sasuke this morning.”

“What? Really?! What does it say? How are things? How’s Sakura?” The questions stumbled free from his mouth in a whirlpool of both worry and excitement. He always hoped to hear from the two of them and he always hoped that whatever he heard from them was positive. But since Sasuke returned and took Sakura, he heard little to nothing from them. Occasionally, Sakura would write a letter or two, informing everyone where they were and what they were doing. Although receiving a letter from Sasuke was more than unusual.

“Well, it only has one word on it. Why don’t you read it for yourself, Naruto?” Kakashi handed over the letter, a smile spreading across his face from beneath his mask.

“Huh?” The blonde took the paper quietly. As soon as the word was read and processed, his entire face lit up. He turned to Kakashi, then to Shikamaru, and then back towards the paper. After a brief moment of silence, he cheered loudly, bouncing around the room.

“Hey, calm down, would’ja?” Shikamaru breathed, a smile of his own spreading on his face. He wasn’t one for cheering out loud or making a fool of himself, but even he couldn’t hide the fact that he was overjoyed by this sudden letter.

Kakashi watched the blonde quietly, joy bubbling within him. Pregnant. Well…guess I’ll have one more to love, won’t I?

“Hey Sasuke, I was thinking…” Sakura walked beside her husband, her hand intertwined within his own. He kept his eyes ahead, but his attention went straight to her. “Maybe we could name the baby Itachi. After your brother.” She looked up at him, waiting for an answer. “And if it’s a girl,” she continued. “We could name her Tsunade!” A grin spread across her face and a chill ran down Sasuke’s spine. The last thing he wanted was a child named Tsunade.

“How about Haruto, if it’s a boy,” he was rewarded with a pair of puckered lips and furrowed brows. “And Sarada if it’s a girl.” The pink haired woman turned to him. A smile warmed her face and a hand dropped to her stomach quietly.

“Sarada. Sarada Uchiha…” She murmured to herself, giggling softly. “It’s perfect.”

“Well, it’s only perfect if it’s a girl.” He breathed in response, but she was too lost swooning over her stomach. He couldn’t help but smile a little. This child was an Uchiha, his child. No matter how many times he thought about it, he was always thankful to the woman that bore this child.

Sakura Uchiha. It was a name that warmed his heart; sent great waves of relief washing over him and his every thoughts. Together, they were raising a family.

That fact alone was enough to make him the happiest man in the world.

Thank you…Sakura.

nemesis729  asked:

Silver Silence is finally out! Have you started reading it yet? What do you think about the book? And what are your headcanons for Silver and Valentin?

Sorry it took me so long to respond to this!  I finished it on Tuesday, and I loved it! Nalini is incredibly good at creating unique cultures and traits for all of her Changeling groups while still keeping that Changeling Heart that runs true for all the shifters. As for head canons…

  1. With her Silence broken, Silver becomes close to Sahara. This results in double dates. Valentin is determined to figure out if Kaleb does, in fact, have a sense of humor.
  2. Silver’s shoe addiction becomes a real thing, even worse than Nova’s.  Valentin loves nothing more than to feed that addiction.
  3. Ena and Valentin become incredibly close. Valentin is half in love with her, and Ena appreciates how very much he loves her grand daughter. 
  4. They don’t wait long  to have their first child. It’s a girl with her father’s wicked sense of humor and her mother’s ability to instill fear in even the bravest of hearts with a look. Ena spoils her relentlessly, not that she’d admit it.
  5. Valentin is constantly looking for excuses to touch her. As time goes on, Silver finds herself doing the same.
Here’s Johnny (8) - Final


So… This is it. This is the last chapter. Honestly, I never thought I was going to finish this shit but here I am… Finishing this shit. What profound words.

Anyway, enjoy! I’m really gonna miss this series :)

Length: 4,012 words

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, language, panic.

Do you know that feeling you get when you first make friends with someone?

You feel reserved at first, before someone breaks the ice.  After that – after the first awkward exchanged words – the dam breaks and you exchange stories in a flood of excitement and laughter. Slowly you find out things about each other. What you like, your past, your habits, what you hate… all of this is a honeymoon phase.

Then, eventually following, come the days after this so-called honeymoon phase.

You find out things about them that irk you, and you have to decide if you can pardon that or not. If you can pardon their flaws, and they can pardon yours, than a true, healthy friendship is born. A relationship that will last years, upon years, upon years. Yet, if you can’t ignore their flaws, bitterness is born. Your conversations become tainted with a sour flavor. Your words start leaving a stale taste on your tongue, and their words leaving your ears stinging like rug burn.

It was not like this with Johnny. It wasn’t like this at all. The two of you had no honeymoon phase; you were just thrown into each other’s lives by pure coincidence.  The brunette didn’t know he would become so entangled, and you could’ve never predicted risking your neck for the man now left without a label.

At the same time though, not much has happened in the week you’ve been away from your apartment. No… conversations, or at least important ones. It’s been filler. Small, insignificant things that felt more tense and strained than everything else. Something was in the works, but neither of you knew what.

You thought through all of this as you laid down flat against an old, faded children’s bed in the middle of an abandoned houses second floor. It was soft, clearly worn by love and use. The four walls surrounding you were a light shade of pink, dappled with pastel flowers in the whole range of the rainbow. It was quite cute, actually. It wasn’t too far off from what you liked as a child.

In the house, Johnny was nowhere to be seen, having left roughly an hour back to scout the area. At this point, you knew he wouldn’t do anything to screw you over. If one of you fell, the other one did too. Invisible chains linked you two together and you couldn’t find the desire in you to find your way out of them, preferring to stay right by his side. It was best, for the both of you and everyone else, that way.

You closed you mouth and filled it with air, puffing up your cheeks like fish. When the pressure became too much for your lips to contain, you let all the air rush out in one smooth go. Your breath didn’t fog, but it might as well have due to the lowering temperatures. Night was due, coming in two hours at most. You cursed yourself (and Johnny) for not stopping by your apartment and taking the necessities. Water bottles, canned food, flashlights, phone and charger (electricity still ran through certain areas), that kind of stuff.

The front door down the stairs creaked, the disturbance causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

It might not be Johnny, you thought, remembering what he had told you earlier.

“The lock is busted,” you quoted, “Don’t come out unless I say it’s me.”

You heard a floorboard squeak downstairs.


You swung your feet off the bed, taking care not to make any sound as you let them connect with the soft, carpeted floor. The ground was supple and forgiving, effectively muffling your footsteps as you pushed yourself of the bed and made your way to the closet. You cursed, hangers littering the floor of the small space.

They might make some noise, you thought as you attempted to brush them away with your foot. You heard another floorboard croak, this time almost at the top of the stairs.

Johnny, where are you?

You shoved the rest of yourself into the closet, only partially closing the door due to no inside handle. There was no way to close it completely, leaving a small gap about the width of a finger. You crouched down, hoping to avoid a high line of sight. The footsteps were right outside of the room now, and your heart was beating fast. The vital organ felt like a race horse just out of the gate, franticly trying to pull itself forward. It was like it was trying to jump straight out of your chest and onto the floor in a bloody mess.

You tried to control your breathing, slowly taking in air through your open mouth, jaw lax. Slow and steady, slow and steady…

The door to the room opened, creaking on its hinges, and the intruder entered. Honestly, you were tempted to call out Johnny’s name. There’s a good chance his habit of sneaking and remaining quiet had taken hold of him, making him forget to announce his presence.

This thought, however, was gone as soon as the heavy, black boots of the intruder strode on in. He was facing the opposite direction from where you were hiding, but you didn’t need to see his face to know he wasn’t the one you had abandoned city with just days ago.

They were tall, possibly even more than Johnny, with messy dark hair on top of their head. Their profile raised the hairs on your arm, although you didn’t know why until they turned around. A slightly upturned nose, skin that contrasted greatly with his dark hair, a long torso…


Your eyes widened, spread open in terror as a smile rose on his face. A glint was in his eyes and it was just like the one he had when he dripped that horrible liquid into your stirring blood.

“Y/N,” He said, approaching the closet with his hands snug in his pockets, “You thought you were free, didn’t you?”

He crouched, just inches from the small gap, body blocking a portion of natural light from entering the closed space. A hand laid itself on the edge of the doors frame, clenching the wood lightly between his hands, “Too bad you’re not.”

You gulped, quivering like a leaf. He was but a breath away, cold air caressing your cheek like death’s kiss. His dark, dark eyes bored into your own and read every secret they had ever learned, “You’re not real. You’re dead. Johnny killed you.”

He smiled, pushing the door open with a sly smirk, his focus on you remaining unwavering and cruel. He reached a pale hand forward, resting it on your knee. You shivered with fear, but could not pull your gaze away from his for fear that he would take advantage of a moment of unawareness.

His thumb started to move, rubbing at the under section of your knee where the soft part was. It was the same spot the doctor hit to test your reflexes, making you feel the urge kick. You would have, if you weren’t so convinced he was about to kill you.

“I’ll let you in on a secret, love,” he stopped rubbing your knee and tightened his grip to the point of black and blue bruising, “You can’t kill me.”

His brown eyes darkened to a charcoal, grabbing you behind the knee and pulling you forward with an aggressive tug. You screamed, kicking out at him as he dragged you by the leg across the carpet, burning your skin through friction.

“Let me go, let me go, let me go…!” a choked sob left your lips as you clawed at the floor, trying to get a grip on anything, anything at all, “Johnny!”

“Johnny can’t help you. Johnny is the reason you’re dying. He will kill you! He’s no different than I!” Jaehyun leaned down and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling you up off the ground in a mess of limbs and tears before he threw you on the bed, pinning you down with a grip on your wrists and legs. He pinned you with his knees, using his greater than average height to his advantage.

“You’re lying, Jaehyun!” You cried out, thrashing and clawing at his wrists, “You’re a fucking liar!”

“Do you want to know why, Y/N? Do you want to know why you can’t kill me?”

“Get off of me!”

He ignored your screams, “You can’t kill me because I’m him and he’s me. We’re the same. You think you’re okay because he fell for your pretty face, that him giving you a little kiss makes him tame?”

“Get off me, you cunt!”

“Language, you little whore.” He bit out, spitting on your face, “You can make a beast sleep, but it won’t be long till it wakes. You’re worst fear will come to life and he’ll eat you alive, limb from limb. Nothing will be left of you for your mother and father to see. Oh, wait! That’s right! They’re dead.”

The feeling in your chest was worse than a bullet to the heart, “Don’t speak of my parents like that.”

“It’s your own fear talking, sweetheart.” He sighed, pulling a knife out of his back pocket. It was the same knife he had used to cut you, and the same knife he was killed with, “You’re afraid of losing him too, and you’re afraid it won’t come with death.”

He hummed, using the backside of the knife to wipe away your flood of tears. It did little to help, only resulting in smearing the salty water across your cheeks. He smiled, licking the knife, “I always knew you’d taste nice.” He continued with the torture, kissing under your eyes as the tears kept coming, ignoring the quivering of your diaphragm and the raspy, ugly chokes escaping you in hiccups.

“Stop, Jaehyun, please.” You choked out, shaking as he drew the knife again and pressed it right where he had cut seven days ago, “Just stop.”

“Stop yourself first,” he whispered while pulling away, sitting back on his hips. He reached down with a single hand, forcing you to open your eyes and see. What you saw was not him, it was someone far worse.


He smiled, tilting his head in a way you normally thought cute. This time, though, it was terrifying. He parted his familiar red lips and spoke, “Wake up, darling,” He drew the knife back into the air, “Wake up.”

The silver plunged into your stomach, cutting deeper than anyone ever has.





You let your eyes close, and let the pain fade away. You let yourself fade away.


I’m hearing him, now. I’ve really lost it.


You felt a hand on your shoulder and a head on your chest. It felt warm. Feeling was returning like a trickle, and you could feel your cold hands moving inch by inch away from your clammy sides. Soft hair tickled your neck, a face buried in the crook of it.

A sniffle, “Wake up, you fucking bitch… Why the fuck are you… I swear…”

You recognized that voice and opened your eyes. On your chest, his head and shoulders were laying. His brown hair was tossed about in a complete mess, ruffled against your clothing. Johnny was kneeling to the side of the bed, clutching the fabric on your shoulders like he was trying to keep you from flying off. You noticed how dark it was; it probably in the middle of the night.

So that… was all a nightmare?

“Johnny?” You rasped out, trying to sit up. He lifted his head, eyebrows raised in shock before falling in a sigh of relief.

He sat back on his heels, “You’re awake.”

You nodded, laughing at yourself. Tears that had stuck to your skin slipped down your cheeks, dripping off your chin, “I’m so glad that wasn’t real.”

Johnny furrowed his brow, “What… what happened?”

Should I tell him?

He got up and sat on the edge of the bed, gripping your hand softly.

No, you thought, I shouldn’t.

“You were yelling in your sleep, almost screaming… I heard you a few houses over when I was scavenging. You yelled…” he bit his lips, “You were yelling his name. Jaehyun’s. Then you… you yelled mine as well.”

He played with your fingers and turned away, breathing in deep. His hands were steady, and it felt grounding, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…” you muttered out, fighting back the urge to shiver. You had fallen asleep on top of the sheets, rather than under them. No wonder why my dream felt so real, “I’m okay.”

“No you’re not,” he moaned, dropping his head to the sheets. He had folded his long legs up Indian style, flopping completely over himself like a dog, “You shook your head when you said ‘I’m okay,’ its basic psych.”

“Shut up,” you scoffed, wiping the last traces of tears away with your sleeve, “Stop being a smart ass.”

He hummed, sitting back up with a groan. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it right after as if rethinking his words. Once a few minutes of consideration passed, he parted his lips, ready to voice his thoughts.

Warm brown eyes draped a world over your own, “I think I need to tell you about my past.”

You raised your eyebrow, “Really?”

“Yes, really.” He sighed, “And get under the covers. You’re fucking freezing.”

That brought a grin to your face, but it was soon wiped away as dream-Jaehyun’s words returned to you. You can make a beast sleep, but it won’t be long till it wakes.

You ignored your creepy, dark thoughts, “No problem. I feel like I could make the air condensate at this point.”

Johnny laughed at that.

“Anyway,” Johnny started, “It’s a long story. A really, really long story.”

“I’m not going back to sleep anytime soon, so tell away.”

“Good to know, you insomniac,” he grumbled (good-naturedly) before returning to his train of thought, “It started when I was really young. My mom left my dad and I when I was just three, and she didn’t exactly take care of me in the time I was really little. The whole wasn’t held as a child, neglected baby shebang. That’s probably why I was so…” he looked down at his hands, “Well, me.”

“I didn’t develop proper social skills, I was quiet, I thought everyone was out to get me. I was purely convinced that if someone said they loved me, then they were lying. I believed such a feeling didn’t exist. I was so apathetic. So fucking convinced that if I let people in, I would be betrayed, just like my mother did to me when I was young. My father left too, eventually, when I was 18. It was just another drop in the bucket, at that point.”

“When he left, and I was all alone… I dropped out of college, giving up my academic scholarship to some other asshole. I worked for random places, working odd jobs, never staying in one place for too long. The most memorable one was a theater company. It was where- that was where I met Jaehyun for the first time.”

Wow, you thought, what a fitting occupation for the crazy bastard.

“I thought he was insane – I mean he is insane – but I thought he was admirably insane. A new breed of brilliance. He was a lead actor and he sang beautifully. I don’t even like musicals but I enjoyed watching from behind the curtains, just the boy who rolled the curtains on and off. Insignificant, forgettable… But he saw me, tucked in the corner like some anti-social rat.”

“What wonderful luck,” you droned sarcastically, messing with the thin linens.

“What wonderful luck, indeed.” He chuckled, but it had bitterness to it, understandably, “He fucking ruined my already shitty life.”

“I can imagine.”

“You won’t have to,” Johnny ran a hand through his hair, “He approached me after our last showing of Sweeney Todd, asking me if I wanted to go with the crew to celebrate in some rundown bar. I said yes, of course, not wanting to seem like a dick head, and so off we went.”

“At first, he seemed fine. A little bit eccentric, but he’s an actor, so I don’t know what I expected. Talked, bitched about how hot the stage was, mic setup, basically all that shit everyone in this business complains about but never bothers to fix. Eventually, play after play, we got closer,” Johnny gulped, gasping on his breath a little, “Regrettably close.”


“Do you want to-” You started, biting your lower lip, “It’s okay to tell me only what you want.”

“No!” He caught you off guard with the sudden yell, “No… If I don’t tell you every bit of this, I’ll feel like I’m lying.”

You sighed, kicking up the end of the sheets. He gladly pulled some over his lap, letting his large hands rest on top, “Alright.”

“Okay…” He drew, trying to think of where he left off, “Oh, yeah. After we started… you know… he became different. He seemed shaken one night, but he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.”

Johnny paused, “I think that was the first night he killed someone.”

You hummed, rubbing his leg soothingly with a foot. His face looked like the skin was laced with steel, hardened as he recalled the memories, “I had no idea. I had no idea what he was about to drag me – us – into.”

“He stopped attending theater practice, he didn’t come around as often, no one but me saw him…” Johnny sighed, “Needless to say, he lost his job, not like he cared though. The old Jaehyun I knew was gone, replaced with one who wouldn’t tell me where he went at night, wouldn’t tell me why he never ate with me… I was afraid I was going to be left in the dark again.”

“So… I approached him one day. I confronted him about all his odd behavior. Looking back, this is probably my biggest mistake. I could’ve let him go and continued being bitter but at least I would still have clean hands, but no… I asked where he was going at night, and he invited me to join.”

“Is this where the Order comes in?”

He nodded, “Yeah, it is.”


Johnny laughed, “Fuck is right. Jaehyun took me to this brick building in the rich western southern district of the city, which obviously made me really fucking confused. What the hell were we – a couple of college-age dumbasses – doing inside a clearly high class structure? It felt too clean, like I was a rat running their pretty white floors.”

“A man, probably in his forties, led us to a back staircase. It was white like everywhere else, except when you got to the bottom… Something was clearly off. There was equipment laying on tables, stuff like knives and saws, biohazard waste bins, a shit ton of disposable plastic, face masks… Similar to the ones you’d wear in a hospital.”

“When we passed through that section, it opened up to a room of men and a few women. I recognized one man as a member of the cities counsel, and some woman who I assumed to be his wife. There were probably more important people there as well, but I didn’t know them at the time. They were drinking a liquid out of fancy glasses, and Jaehyun had giving me one. It was blood.”

“They locked me to the chair, asking Jaehyun all these questions about my background and history. He knew more about me than I knew about myself, it was so analytical. Eventually they turned their attention away from him to me, and began pressing me. I was scared, unable to get the taste of blood out of my mouth when they told me why I was there.”

“They told me to ‘Join or die,’ essentially. They said that I had to ‘contribute,’ that I couldn’t leave once I knew about what was happening. They kill people, Y/N, and disguise it with political power. They indoctrinate messed up people like me to get rid of who they deem worthless, street pollution, the sort that people ignore on cold winter nights. The police were in on it too, they were payed to ignore it. Not fully, though.”

“Not fully?”

“Yeah,” Johnny sighed, “If you’re caught you get put on death row just like any other murderer. It’s a cycle of kill, eat, avoid. Monthly you had to bring in a body, or at least some part of it. Jaehyun was a favorite of theirs, mostly due to his ability to act. He never failed to present, so they were excited when he brought me in. The Officials, the ones who ran this, immediately held me to high standards.”

“They pay on a kill by kill basis, which explains why Jaehyun quit theater. He’d found a new place to exercise his love for acting, and get paid handsomely for it. It was in this for about a year and a half before I got injured that one night in the alley. I’d separated myself from Jaehyun months ago, letting myself slip into a day job with a sick occasional night job. It was pure coincidence that the apartment I went to – your’s - had Jaehyun as a neighbor.”

“Oh,” you muttered, “That’s really…”

“Yeah,” He laid down, “And you know the rest.”


“All this made me have an overly aware sense of mortality, too.” Johnny sighed laying down across the sheets, scooting up to where you were, “I’ve been too close to death for too long.”

You nodded, scooting back into his chest. You had another question, one last thing you wanted to know…



“How many people have you killed?”

He went silent, breathing in deep. He began to mess with your fingers, “20, I think. 21, if you count Jaehyun.”

“Ah,” you whispered, turning over so you were facing him. His warm brown eyes looked lighter, even if the lighting was dim, “Make that 22.”

“Excuse me?”

“When you killed Jaehyun…” You started, sighing, “You killed the old you, too. Make it 22.”

Johnny laughed, brushing your hair behind your ear, “That makes no fucking sense.”

“You make no sense. It’s perfect,” you reached your hand up between the sheets and flicked his nose, resulting in him scoffing and jokingly biting at your finger, “If you think about it, he was the one who forced you into that. Jaehyun wasn’t a good guy, and he pushed it on to you. You’ve simply shed that skin. You’re you now.”

“Fair enough,” he sighed rolling on top of you. You wheezed, trying to push him off. He situated himself on top of you, pecking your face all over, “Make it 22, huh?”

You whined as he pecked you lips, pressing into them a bit more in order to open them up. He chuckled against your displeased groans, ignoring your complaints about ‘how heavy he fucking is.’ Eventually he pulled away, letting you breathe.

“Alright, alright…” He got up off you. You watched as he approached the window, yanking the water swollen wood up till it was completely open. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out the switchblade that he’d stolen of Jaehyun.

“What are you doing?” You asked sitting up in bed, the sheets falling from your shoulders.

Johnny sighed and ignored your question, looking down at the knife. It reflected a small portion of moonlight, tossing a sliver glow across the room. The glow shifted as he examined the blade, before finally disappearing when he reached his arm out the window and threw it to the marsh, the mud gripping it and pulling it down to its final resting place, never to be used again. He returned to the bed, lying down beside you.

“I made it 22.”

So…that’s the end. I know a lot of people were expecting smut but it just didn’t feel right, so I chose to not include it. This was very hard to end, as well, mostly due to the oddness of this and the lack of forethought. I all honesty, this is a complete rough draft. I might go back and edit it one day/add in stuff but if I do its going to be a while from now.

Thanks to all the reader who read this hot mess all the way through :) It means a lot to me, really. I’m amazed got more this many readers, I never had thought it was possible. Thanks to all those who liked and reblogged, to those who gave me early on feedback. All feedback, really. Without that I would have stopped before I really even started.

I’ll stop crying now :,)

Thanks :)

Your smile >> Ravi, You

This was requested by Anon. I hope you will enjoy reading it ^^ 

Looking through your room window, you stared at the dark sky. There were no stars and it had been cloudy just like your day.

Today could be regarded as the worst day in your life.

No matter how hard you worked, nothing would go right. You would always mess up something. Today, you messed up badly that your boss scolded you and cut down your salary which you needed badly for your tuition fees.

You reached for your phone in your pocket. The cold air slipping into your apartment, but it didn’t work to cool you down. Dialing the one and only who could save you in any situations, you hoped he wouldn’t be busy, or you would scream out of the window with no shame.

After the third ring, he answered you. “Hey, Y/N.” He sound like you cut him from doing something.

You pouted, playing with the hem of your hoodie. “Are you busy?”

“Me? I was working on something.” He said and you cursed underneath your breath.

Even your savior was busy, you felt lonely all of sudden. The weight on your chest heaved and all you could think of is curling in the bed, crying for your messed up life.

“Ah. Okay”

Keep reading

Please help me?

Yours truly has epically failed mathematics and chemistry, and is waiting for the results on Biology, History, and German. In the light of yesterday’s depression attack and an attempt to break a computer (which is worse than suicide, trust me, I love my metal child more than I love myself), I would greatly appreciate any positive words coming from anyone. Because I am feeling like a disappointment that does not deserve anything and will never get into the amazing colleges I want to get in (and I set some pretty high goals…).

Zelo: Misconception

(requested by lil4me)

You walked through the door and shuffled quietly to your seat. Keeping your head down, you prayed you wouldn’t be noticed.

“Hey shorty!” came a cheerful voice from the back of the room.

Ignore him, you reminded yourself.

“Is that a new bow in your hair?” you bite your lip, trying not to be happy he noticed. “It doesn’t suit you.” Well there goes that fantasy. You heard the guys around him whispering and laughing together. You suppressed a groan and rest your head in your arms.

Today was going to be another wonderful day with none other than Zelo. You were used to it. He bullied you often, but it was usually playful banter. It was nothing too seriously hurtful. Still, it was annoying and mood ruining for sure.

You hear a tap on your desk and look to the source. Zelo stood beside you grinning. You quickly put your head back down, avoiding eye contact. “Leave me alone.” You mumble.

Keep reading


Oops,I forgot how to draw.

I’ve purchased Clip Studio Paint yesterday and I was trying out some of its features and the result was this.

I may have been listening to a TAS video while testing out stuff. It sucks to be Ryou. You all know he’s always having a worse day than you