the visuals to this particular scene is so good

Barbie: Star Light Adventure

aka The Second Law of Thermodynamics can Go Eat a Sock, or Entropy Shmentropy

This is a Kezrekian review.

The Barbie franchise is a thing that has, in all four of my life encounters with it, not been all that bad. The shorts are silly and sometimes clever. And as a deeply picky Aesthetivore, I appreciate its bright colors and outrageous designs and her Matrix-esque Infinite Shoe Closet.

Squeeze past the glaring Yes-this-is-a-Barbie-movie-may-god-help-your-soul, remember to keep breathing, and you will survive - if not nod at - this film. There are songs (one main theme they repeat, mostly). There is a plethora of accessory items. There are goofy characters. Then there is THIS:

his name is pupcorn and one day he will explode like a bag of Orville’s

After Barbie wrecks her hoverboard (/drum/tongue depressor), she uses her special instinctive power (the Force) to retrieve it, showing us what Barbie is capable of (literal Cosmic Omnipotence). Then she ignores her motivational cat-poster Father when he asks her to pass the… oh god i’m not kidding to pass the Space Ranch so he can enjoy his Bowl of Colorful Large Shapes (salad). 

where did my life

After a heartfelt reminder that her Motherfigure is Hella Dead, Barbie answers the call of the Galactic King…

^this guy

…to join a group of similarly-aged Also Barbies and an organic, free-range Ken-like substitute…

I almost expected Mewtwo to show up at this scene

…to save the universe. Of course, the King wants to claim that he’s The One from the Prophecy (yep) who saves the galaxy. There is no true antagonist, unless you count Barbie’s habit of arriving on scene after all the other characters have already been rendered for 6 hours.

All in all, it’s not unbearable. The faux Ken was very relatable for me because when Barbie asks if he thinks about anything other than food, he answers: “I think about sleeping… so I can dream about eating.” [cast giggles and later he drums a beat with some stale French Toast sticks]

a few seconds later he happily eats one

And I should probably mention THIS…

But I won’t. Because, let’s face it, the real heroes in this Galaxy are the saints who made these shots:

Overall, it was as if Barbie got a whiff of sci-fi and thought ‘hey.. we could use this,’ but only dipped a toe into the water then giggled and ran away with all the stale French Toast sticks. If they’d taken this premise and run with it, scissors and all, it really could’ve been next-level stuff. Especially with Barbie’s crazy, limitless antics, her stories go hand-in-hand with this infinite-possibility genre. Suddenly I see a huge niche for gorgeous, beautiful, and futuristic worlds to combat the grit and slime of most other films who boast the science fiction / science fantasy label (Jupiter Ascending… I wanted so badly for it to be good, because those visuals are on point). Of course, this is a kids movie, aimed at kids, and most likely BY a few kids (at heart or otherwise). It’s pure innocence and you shouldn’t honestly ask for more complexity.

It all ends with Barbie doing what Barbie does best. I won’t spoil anything, but maybe perhaps that whole Prophecy thing was about our franchise’s namesake here. And yes, as people have pointed out, one scene in particular will fill your deepest, mightiest need to witness Elsa in Space. Then imagine that times BILLIONS OF STARS.

So yeah. If you have time to spare, and if you believe you’re strong enough to withstand a couple dozen face-palms, go ahead and watch Barbie: Star Light Adventure. You probably won’t regret it, but you might, but to be fair, DON’T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, ASK THE GIANT ELECTROMAGNETIC SPACE INSECT LIZARD BABY

An Interview with Heathers Director Michael Lehmann

I recently had the fantastic opportunity to ask Michael Lehmann, who directed Heathers, a mix of my own questions and some questions from Heathers Fashion followers. He was super polite and so kind to speak with me!

Heathers Fashion: What was your favorite scene to shoot?

Michael Lehmann: There were no particular favorites to shoot that I can recall, but I will say that the funeral scenes were really fun and interesting.  They were a good mixture of emotionally affecting, darkly funny, and visually challenging.  The whole shoot, by the way, was a pleasure.

HF: Were any of the scenes improvised?

ML: NONE of the scenes were improvised.  Dan Waters wrote a brilliant script with very specific language, and none of us felt that improvisation would improve things.  

HF: Who are your inspirations?

ML: My biggest film inspirations are Stanley Kubrick, Roman Polanski, and Douglas Sirk.

HF: Why did you choose the costumes you did?

ML: Some elements of costume (colors in particular) were specified in the script, but for the most part Rudy Dillon our costume designer made the excellent choices. All I had to do was say which ones I liked best of the choices she brought me.

HF: We’ve heard rumors of an alternate ending. Can you give us more details about what would’ve happened? Would you have preferred this ending?

ML: There were a number of alternate endings, but the one we liked best had JD succeed in blowing up the school, ending on a prom in heaven.  I would have preferred that ending, but the studio said they simply wouldn’t make a comedy dealing with teen suicide in which the main character ends up killing herself and others.  Given events of the last 25 years, maybe the studio was right.

HF: There’s a line in the movie, right after Heather Chandler dies and Veronica and JD are writing her “suicide note”. Veronica tells JD, “It’s good. Have you done this before?” JD doesn’t reply- are we to assume that he has done this before?

ML: We are not to assume that JD has done this before, but we are meant to wonder about it.  His response is ambiguous, so it should tell us nothing one way or another, but of course he doesn’t say ‘no’!

Heathers Fashion would like to thank Mr. Lehmann for taking the time to talk to us! It was truly a delight.