• Vision: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit.
  • Tony: Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
  • Peter: Philosophy is wondering whether that makes ketchup a smoothie.
  • Rhodey: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a fucking smoothie.
Horror

Pairing: Peter x Reader

Requested by @spiderzenslaya

Warning:


Clint has created a chatroom.

Clint has added Peter, Y/N, Steve, Thor, Natasha, Vision, Sam, Wanda.

Clint: Anyone up to watching a horror movie?

Natasha: Your face is a horror movie.

Natasha: And yes, I’d love to see a horror movie.

Clint: Awww I didn’t know you love seeing my face ;)

Peter: I’m in, if Y/N’s in.

Y/N: I’m in if Peter’s.

Peter: oh no

Peter: my message delivered first!

Y/N: dammit!

Y/N: Decide!

Peter: No, you decide!

Y/N: Do you want to watch a horror movie or not?!

Peter: Only if you’re there!

Steve: Oh for crying out loud, I order both of you to watch the damn movie.

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Guys My Age (1)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2554

Warnings: Lap dancing. ANGST.

Summary: You’re playing truth or dare with the Avengers when Nat asks you when the last time you got laid was  and Sam dares you to pick a song that perfectly grasps why you haven’t had sex in so long.

A/N: Thanks for the anon who recommended this song. I thank the heavens I found it because it’s so fucking relevant. I can’t seem to write smut without just a tinsy bit of a plot. But here you go.

Permanent tag list: @meganlane84

Part 2

Originally posted by haidaspicciare

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Cotton Candy

Pairings: Peter Parker x Wilson!Reader

Request: Hi! A request where reader is Wade’s sister and it’s Peter x reader, includes all the avengers. Thank you!           


Vision has created a chatroom.

Vision has added Peter.

Vision: Thor is hogging the kiddies rides. I do not know where Rogers is and I can’t find you and Y/N to help me stop him.

Peter: Cap is with Mr. Stark winning prizes.

Peter: And Y/N is with me on the Ferris wheel but it got stuck, we can see everyone from up here.

Vision: I can fly the both of you down, if you’d like.

Peter: No!

Peter: The view from up here is beautiful.

Peter: But it’s not as beautiful as Y/N.

Vision has added Y/N.

Vision: Your first date with Peter seems to be going well, quite romantic. Being stuck on the Ferris wheel, alone.

Y/N: It would be romantic.

Y/N: If my brother wasn’t in the seat in front of us.

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