the upper town

y’all the weirdest thing is deciding which town ur characters live in and fucking. looking around that town. on google street view. it’s the weirdest thing i saw the school kennith and steph would’ve went to and it looked EXACTLY how i visualized it looking even tho i picked their town by literally googling “small towns in upper peninsula” and just. picking one. holy fuck u guys

also, fun fact, the suburb nancy and henry moved to is where the house from home alone is

Meersburg in Baden-Württemberg, Southwestern Germany, lies on the Bodensee (Lake Constance). It’s known for its medieval old part of town. The lower part of town (Unterstadt) and upper town (Oberstadt) are reserved for pedestrians only and connected by 2 stairways and a steep street. The name means “Castle on the Sea”, referring to the castle which, according to a tradition from 1548, was built here in 630 by the Merovingian king Dagobert I. The commune obtained the status of free city in 1299. In 1803 it was annexed to the Land of Baden. After WW2, it was part of the French military zone.

My housemate’s kitten just shit all over her boyfriend and my housemate started crying with laughter and I can’t breathe. We’re in the car and Brayden just screamed “SHANNON HE’S SHITTING ON ME” so Shannon pulled over, Brayden thrusted the still-shitting cat towards her, and got out. He then went behind the car and stripped to his underwear, getting changed on a busy road in the middle of an upper middle suburban town, throwing his shitty shorts and white shirt in the boot without even scraping the cat crap off.
The kitten is now asleep in his carrier.

FANCY PARTY SHENANIGANS

Prologue:

“Oh no…” the fox mumbled as his eyes scanned the letter in his hands. He groaned, hanging his head low in defeat.

“What troubles you?” a sweet yet robotic voice asked behind him. CC walked towards the two-tailed fox, tugging on his lab coat to encourage him to answer her. Tails smiled as he turned to her.

“Oh, it’s just this charity event on behalf of Yellow Sky Industries. I completely forgot I agreed to it.”

“Do you mean the annual Young Heroes barbeque? I have heard a lot about that.” CC responded.

“I wish. That would be a blast. No, this is some banquet thing I have to host for the ‘upper class’ folk in town. You can’t get these guys to donate money to anything unless they’ve had their fill of crumpets and what not,” Tails growled, crumpling the letter into a ball before tossing it in a nearby bin, but CC let out a buzz of excitement.

“A social?! With guests to entertain and partake in ‘the mingling’?! I know the exact garment to wear!” She ran towards one of her most recent prototypes, quickly typing a code into the machine and yanking on a lever. Before Tails could interject, a shower-curtain-like divider sprung up between the pair. A few quick “zips” and “whirrs” could be heard from behind the curtain before the shield dropped and CC stood proudly in a formal gown, her synthetic hair extended and pulled tight into an updo. She straightened her posture and clasped her hands behind her back, waiting patiently for a compliment.

Tails blinked a couple of times, still trying to process what had just happened. He coughed when he realized he had been staring too long and shook his head. “This… This isn’t good news. Our friends… they don’t handle formal events well.” He ran his fingers through his fur, already stressing from the party he was meant to plan. “I used to laugh when Sticks would runamuck at the Awardy Awards, but they’re all terrible. You should have seen the weddings, they were absolute fiascos!”

CC walked up to Tails and smiled, her eyes half-lidded. “That is because you did not have my assistance,” she stated matter-of-factly. She placed her hands on his shoulders before firmly knocking him down into a seated position. She paced across the room, her perfect posture making her appear as if she was gliding instead of walking. “It is an important marker in every person’s life to plan some sort of gathering, correct? I have not completed that task. I would be most delighted to do it.” Her eyelids flickered as she paused in thought, flipping through her internal rolodex. “There are a multitude of venues that would be impressive. Yes, the observatory, that is the location. Caterers…searching… Aha, one of our frequent customers owns a local restaurant. I am sure it would put us in even better standing if we had them cater-”

Tails lost track of what she was saying, partially because she began speaking too quickly for Mobian ears and partially because he was more than a little impressed. He sat back in his chair, smiling as he watched her brainstorm. It calmed and excited him at the same time and he was thankful for the distraction she provided. He shot up when he noticed her piercing electric blue eyes meeting his, a gentle smile on her face.

“Besides, ‘how bad can it be?’”

Oh great. She just had to say that.

[NEXT]


Told you I’d come up with some silly random comic series alongside HHNF. I have too many ideas in my head, I’m being torn apart! FPS isn’t really linear, it’s just a bunch of tiny moments from one night. Also, there will be alcohol. More specifically, some very drunk hedgehogs. You have been warned!

  • me: tbh capitalism is an inherently flawed system but it’s not all bad. it’s much better than a corrupt communist or socialist system, at the very least
  • some rich bitch: oh you’re going to florida for spring break? that bites, i went there for midwinter break lmao i’ll be going to the caribbean for spring break and when we get back my parents are buying me a convertible BMW, which sucks cause i wanted a jeep but it’s whatever, and-
  • me: GUILLOTINE THE BOURGEOIS! GUILLOTINE THE BOURGEOIS!
funny story

so I live in an upper middle class town where a lot of families can afford to just get their kid a pretty decent quality car without having to dip too deep into their savings. it’s ridiculous but what I’m saying is people have some cash to spare. anyway when I was a freshman in high school there was this one week where the entire main hallway flooded because all of the toilets just randomly overflowed. they wouldn’t let us walk through it so we were all jammed in the little side hallways during passing periods. this lasted for at least three days and they just could not figure out why it happened. then about a week later they found the problem.

someone had fricking flushed an iphone down the toilet. it got jammed in one of the pipes and caused this huge blockage of toilet paper. and the school had to pay like a couple thousand dollars to fix the pipes.

You know what I want? I want a haunted-house story played completely straight as a home remodeling story. Not one that starts with “John and Jane bought a fixer-upper in a small town” and ends with “John and Jane were horribly murdered by an elder abomination living in the basement.” More like:

“Honey? The sump pump’s bringing up blood again. Did that contractor we had last time say he knew a good exorcist? And whoever buried the sacrificial small animals in the backyard clearly did not call the utilities company first.”