Hey anon, I know that you probably don’t really mean anything negative by this, just a comment, but how about don’t do this???? Trust me, you’re not the only one to.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m working on Craig and Those Guys and getting it to the schedule that I’m comfortable with. I’m working on a LOT of stuff. Because multi-tasking exists and I’m excited to get all kinds of content out for you! But it’s time consuming and hard work and hell, I’m sorry, but I’m going to take all the time I need in order to put out the highest quality stuff I can muster.
Sansa closed her eyes and steeled herself for what was about to come. Slowly, she turned around to face him. She let her eyes rove over his face. A face she knew by heart. A face she couldn’t forget even if she wanted to. It was the face she looked into every day for the past four years. Except for the eyes. Blue eyes met deep grey.
Hey so where did we land on the whole are you single thing?
Okay I’m gonna do this update on the Snerg/dating application situation under a cut because there were just SO MANY ASKS hahahahaha
ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, TIME FOR AN UPDATE.
So a while ago this happened, and I’ve gotta be honest and say I was ENTIRELY UNPREPARED for all of the responses!! Like I thought I was making a ridiculous application that nobody would answer but then I FORGOT HOW AWESOME AND SILLY YOU ALL ARE and so I was overwhelmed with replies and very busy at the time and unable to answer them all…
OKAY SO HERE WE GO
First of all, to Snerg: I’m sorry if you thought I was preferencing humans over snails. That wasn’t the case at all!! I just thought you didn’t seem like the kind of snail who would want to jump into a commitment like that
To everyone wondering if I’m dating a snail: AS YOU CAN SEE, no, I’m not. I think I may have ruined everything by not replying fast enough. I’ll just have to sit here and mourn my snail-free sex life
To everyone who filled out my RIDICULOUS application/ expressed interest in winning my affections: You guys are all absolute GEMS and you deserve someone way less fixated on snails than yours truly. Receiving your responses made my day, and I’m so honored you would offer yourselves up for my impromptu dating show/blog/event/whatever that was hahahaha :D
To everyone WEIRDLY FIXATED on my relationship status: After determining that I lost my chance with Snerg, who I’m sure was my one true love, I went to @jadepresley and cried on her shoulder and idk guys she’s kinda cute and she writes hella good fics so to fill the gaping hole in my heart, I think I’ll just stare at her and tell her how amazing she is and yeah that’s pretty much where I’m at right now I hope that clarifies things
To the anon who just innocently wanted to know more about me and had no intention of starting any of this: I FEEL YOU, BRO. I TRULY DO.
ok hi binches guess who’s back home!!!!! it’s me!!!!!!! i’m sorry i’ve been so inactive but 3 months stationary dbt therapy is!!!!! fucking hard!!!!! i’ve learned so much though i did come a long way i guess but there’s still a lot to do :)))) also i’ve been officially diagnosed with narcissist and histrionic pd traits lmfao i knew it
flipped over the next page, skimming the words slowly making sure he absorbed
every drop of ink that was on the paper. He lifted his eyes to look towards the
corner of his room where Sasuke usually sat. The room was so empty and
lifeless, the only company Naruto had were his lifeless pieces of paper.
The corner of the room was merely
infected by the ghost of Sasuke’s body, and as much as Naruto was trying to
distract himself from the thought that Sasuke had yet returned he could vividly
imagine him right there. Sitting with his black coffee in his left hand, one
leg crossed, thinking, forehead creased in deep thought over some documents.
He missed him, he needed him, but
the last time he saw him was a month ago before he had to leave on an urgent
mission with nearly every elite shinobi to de-escalate a potential war that was
brewing at the Hidden Mist Village.
Naruto’s heart sank again,
thinking of the last day he saw him before he went away.
They had gotten into a fight, a
really shitty fight.
“Sasuke, I just don’t understand
why I can’t go with you?”
“Naruto, you are being
unreasonable, you are the Hokage, you know this. Coming for me the first time
got you in so much shit, you cannot let your feelings for me get in the way of
being the fucking Hokage, will you for once think with your head?”
Naruto started tearing up, heart
beating in flustered motions, skin accumulating heat as fast as a kettle, “why
the fuck shouldn’t I think with my heart, you cold fucking bastard, just
because you decided to turn off your frickin emotions, doesn’t mean I don’t
Sasuke turned around to face
Naruto, furiously walking towards him.
“Naruto, you are really crossing
the fucking line, you know I care for you, what else do you fucking want from
me? A bed of full of roses every day? A confession of my undying love written
in poetry form?”
Naruto turned around from Sasuke
storming off into their bedroom, “Urgh, no I don’t want that, I just want you
to understand that I could come with you, your life is here, what if something
happens like last time?”
“I’ll be fine Naruto, plus this
mission is very important. They need as many skilled ninja going, there will be
war if we don’t tame the situation over there, you know this.”
Naruto bit his lower lip knowing
Sasuke was speaking nothing but the truth, he just couldn’t come to terms with
accepting the fact that Sasuke wouldn’t let him protect him.
“I know Sasuke, that’s why I
“No Naruto, you’re not fucking
going. What if the potential war comes here? Who will protect the village? Huh?
Are you just going to abandon the village because you couldn’t stop and think
with your head instead of your fucking heart for once?”
Naruto started to feel hot rage
build within him, like a deep dark power was slowly manifesting from his toes
upwards, clawing its way slowly out of Naruto’s skin.
“What are you going to fucking
Sasuke walked over and punched
Naruto in the shoulder, enough for him to lose his stance.
“You realize I could stop you, I
am the Hokage after all.”
“Do that and I will fucking leave
Konoha, I am not a damn child Naruto.”
Naruto pushed Sasuke out of his
space and walked back into the living room.
“I just wished you would give a
shit Sasuke, about me about your family that’s here, your fucking daughter for
“Oh, my lord Naruto not this
again with Sarada, she is a ninja, she needs to learn that accepting to be a
ninja, means you accept the fact that you work alone, that death is likely to
occur and that being a ninja is not all fun and games.”
“Do you just not care about her?
Don’t you want her to have the family that you and I never had growing up?”
“Look at us Naruto, we are
considered some of the strongest Ninja’s in the world, I think not growing up
with a father that babies her will be good for her. I am not here to place a
bandage on her every time she falls.”
Naruto started to cry, anger
seeping out of him this time, no longer containing itself, just falling out in
hot tears. “Don’t you care at all Sasuke? Can’t you find it in that cold heart
of yours to see that this is wrong, staying here and taking care of your family
should be your priority over fighting. Sasuke if you walk out, you are walking
out on her and me.”
Naruto started to wipe away his
tears, “last time you broke Sarada’s and Sakura’s hearts when you left, now you
are going to include me in the equation?”
Sasuke looked at Naruto with dark
eyes, full of mixed emotions. “I am not walking out on you,, I am fucking
serving Konoha, and if you are the Hokage then you should start fucking acting
like it. I am going Naruto, end of discussion.”
Naruto sadly looked at his paper
work, he highlighted a few lines and wrote some notes on a spare piece of
He had no idea what will happen
when Sasuke come back. If he ever does. Word is the threat of war is no more
since the Hidden Leaf and Sand Village aided the Hidden Mist. Even though the
threat is gone, many of Konoha’s elite shinobi decided to stay to aid in the
relocation and safe keeping of villagers. Naruto heard from one of the reports
that Sasuke was in that small group which volunteered themselves to stay.
But it scared Naruto, he hadn’t
heard anything from Sasuke since he left, besides the mandatory scrolls each
shinobi assigned to help must send back, but a letter full of battle
description is not much of a heart felt piece.
He started to worry long ago
whether Sasuke would return, and if he did would they still be together? Naruto
missed him immensely, but every growing day he started to think Sasuke would
never return home. Many shinobi started arriving back to Konoha one by
one. Each handing in their last assignment reports, the only ones left were about
7 elite shinobi. Each willingly staying to aid in any way possible on their own
Naruto could only start to think
that Sasuke was delaying coming back because he didn’t want to see Naruto or
that he just was delaying the inevitable break up talk with Naruto.
It had been driving Naruto mad,
he has no idea if he would get his boyfriend back, but he knew as much as he
loved Sasuke all he needed was for him to walk through that door, safe and
unharmed. He wouldn’t stop him if he wanted to break up, because Naruto wanted
him to be happy, and if he was too much for him, getting too attached and
emotionally invested in Sasuke was not his cup of tea then he wouldn’t stop
Naruto tried not to think about
it, because the sheer idea of Sasuke wanting out from their relationship made
his whole body feel like small daggers were cutting into every vein and vessel
in his body. His heart started to clench into a tight hold and his lungs
collapsed slowly until he felt like no oxygen was being circulated in his body anymore.
So, before Naruto literally passed out he had to keep his mind distracted,
“keep working, keep writing, think about your job, the people you’re
Naruto had to repeat this in his
head every day to distract himself from sheer pain and extreme anxiety attacks,
it actually helped significantly and he had surprisingly been doing very well
at his job considering Sasuke and Kakashi were gone on this mission.
*1 week later*
Naruto opened his saggy eyes, his
head throbbed loudly and the left side of his face was deformed due to sleeping
on his wooden table again. He looked around to see the sunlight trickling in
from the outside, the papers he had on his table had smudged red stains from
his pen being left open. He stretched out his strained back muscles and
scratched the top of his hair.
He looked at each corner of the
room, empty spaces, no life, just stacks upon stacks of paperwork. Filled
documents, signed contacts, each finished and completed.
Naruto had done nothing but works
since Sasuke left, he could do nothing else to distract himself. He needed to
fill his mind with something. It was about a week ago when he started working
from sunrise to sunset, no breaks, just full work.
Only 2 days ago had he completely
given up on going home and would either fall asleep on the wooden table or
crash on the couch where Sasuke used to sit.
Everyone was worried about him,
he was clearly overworking himself and everyone could see it besides himself.
But he was too stubborn to actually listen to anyone, he just kept working and
working until he literally dropped.
It had been nearly 1 month and 3
weeks since Sasuke left for the mission and every single shinobi sent off to
the relief mission had returned back, the only ones left were Kakashi and Sasuke.
No word had been heard from both of them and Naruto was starting to lose his
mind. The last thing he heard was from Ino who was the most recent shinobi to
return, she mentioned that Sasuke and Kakashi had decided to stay until the
whole village had been relocated even though there were only a handful of
people left and the mist where fully capable of relocating them.
Naruto got out of his seat
walking sleepily towards the door, looking at the floor solemnly, one foot
after each other.
He walked out of the Hokage room
towards the coffee machine in the kitchen, at this point he was a vessel of
caffeine, needing 5 to 10 cups of coffee per day to keep him up with his crazy
As he waited for the water to
boil he chucked 3 teaspoons of coffee blend into his Hokage number 1 cup.
“You know that caffeine is bad
for you right?”
Naruto’s eyes widened, he knew
that sarcastic almost farther tone of voice.
“Kakashi!” Naruto nearly jogged
over to him and enveloped him in a bear hug. “I can’t believe you’re here, I’ve
missed you. Where have you been? What happened? How come you stay for so long?”
Kakashi looked at Naruto with
unfounded happiness, “Oh Naruto I never thought I ever say this, but damn I
have missed you too and your annoying voice.”
Naruto and Kakashi patted each
other on the back and stepped aside letting out manly coughs to subdue the fact
that they were acting all mushy. Naruto looked across to his coffee and poured
a second cup for Kakashi, he started to place the coffee blend into Kakashi’s
mug whilst he begged his mouth to open, to say something, ask about the one
thing he cared about.
“Kakashi…” Naruto gulped down on
his fear, “where’s Sasuke?”
Naruto turned around to pass
Kakashi his drink, he saw the one thing he had been dreading. That look, of
misery, despair, sorrow.
“Um, he came back with me, but he
said he wanted to go to the house first.”
Kakashi tried to look away from
Naruto, but Naruto wasn’t standing down he was looking directly at him. He
wasn’t going to let this kill him, he was Hokage and he was not going to break
“Oh, that’s a shame, well I
should be getting back to work. But take the whole week off, rest Kakashi you
Kakashi quickly bolted his hands
out to stop Naruto from leaving, “wait Naruto, are you sure? Isn’t there a lot
of work to do since Sasuke and I have been away?”
Naruto started to dryly laugh, a
fake laugh which he had perfected after many years, “nope, I actually worked
triple hard since you two left, I am actually a week ahead of schedule, so take
a week off come back in on Monday for work okay?”
Naruto looked at Kakashi and
smiled, a smile which said I need to be alone right now, a smile which was
trying so very hard to cover the rushing pain that lingered underneath.
Kakashi started to slowly walk
away, “only is your sure?”
Naruto was about to open the door
which lead him to his office, but he lingered at the handle looking down the
corridor watching Kakashi slowly walk away. “Kakashi can you please do me a
Kakashi nearly whipped his head
around, “of course anything.”
“Can you please go tell Sasuke
that he doesn’t need to return to work if he wishes not to.”
Kakashi excitement faded, his
shoulder slumping downwards towards the floor, “oh, I understand.”
Naruto walked into his room and
slammed the door behind him, he walked forwards towards his table with
incredible force pushing him forward. Today he was going to work himself to the
bone, whether it killed him or not, he was the Hokage, and like Sasuke said, he
was going to act like it.
*30 minutes later*
After finishing yet another stack
of paperwork Naruto’s mind started to waver from the blurring amount of lines
in his paperwork and all the calculations which had muddled all in Naruto’s
He couldn’t stop the thought
arising in his brain, almost developing like a pastry in his head, until he
could longer compress it.
‘Was Sasuke moving out? Was that
the reason why he didn’t come here, because he wanted to move his stuff out
before Naruto got home? Was he really leaving? Why didn’t he come see me first?
Why was this happening? Why does his heart keep being broken apart into a
million pieces? Why him? What the fuck did he do wrong to deserve this? Why
Naruto shook his head
aggressively to get the thought out of his head. He looked down at the paper
with such aggression, as if burning the paper with his vision alone. He had to
work harder, faster and longer.
If Sasuke was leaving because he
didn’t act like the Hokage, then he was going to work to the bone until Sasuke
has to take back that shitty statement.
Naruto stood up with such
aggression that the wooden chair scratched against the floor, he took the pile
of paperwork he had just finished and placed it on the floor. He placed a
sticky note on it to remind him what the paperwork was for and what day cabinet
it was meant to go into.
He started to look around the
room and realized that his entire floor was now nearly enveloped in stacks of
paper. He curiously looked at the floor, trying to concoct a plan for
organizing this mess.
Naruto could finally see the
floor, he brushed off some dust that accumulated on his hands, he smirked at
the floor, looking down at it in triumph.
He let out a sigh thinking to
himself that sooner or later he will run out of things to do to distract him.
He can’t live the rest of his life trying to pretend like this is all okay,
that working himself till he literally collapses is fine, but what else was he
meant to do? What could subdue that loud voice in his head telling him he’s not
fine, that his heart is hurting more than he could express, that his whole
heart was slowly dying because of one man?
How can he tell the people of his
village that he can no longer work because he was heartbroken? He was being
stupid and immature, he wasn’t a kid anymore, he had to stop being so involved
in romance and just let go and move on. Maybe he needed to be more like Sasuke,
just don’t have emotions at all.
Naruto turned around in shook
“Sorry Shizune, I did not see you
there, are you okay?”
Shizune looked worried, she shyly
raised her shoulders and wriggled on the spot in discomfort.
“Uh I just got a call.”
Naruto looked at her with great
worry, what did she just hear?
“Shizune, what is it? You can
“Well… Sasuke just called.”
Naruto started to hyperventilate,
did Sasuke just break up with him over the office phone? Was he calling to tell
Naruto he was leaving the house, or worse was he hurt?
“He wishes to talk to you, hes on
Naruto gulped down a whole ball
of anxiety, smiled the fakest smile he could possible manage to do and thanked
Shizune and walked over to the phone on his desk to answer.
He felt every step towards that
phone was literally stepping him further and further away from the desk. He
heard the door shut as Shizune left, the sound of the door shutting echoed in
Why did the room suddenly feel so
small and dark? Why couldn’t he move his feet anymore? Why was that red phone
on his table so scary, so threatening? It was just a phone, nothing less,
nothing more. It wasn’t a robber or a villain here to tear Naruto and the
village apart, then why was it so ominously sitting on the table?
His hands started to shake a
little as he went in to grab the phone.
He pressed line 1 and picked it
up, he could hear irrational breathing and shaking.
Naruto knew this was it, this
phone call would lead to his death.
Naruto could hear Sasuke’s breath
exhalate anxiously on the line when he heard his name.
“Naruto, uh Hi.”
“Long time no see, are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine…”
Naruto was gripping the phone so
tightly, he almost felt like any more strength and he was going to break the
phone in half.
“Why are you calling, I’m at
work, and Kakashi already told me you’re not coming in, so you didn’t need to
call to say you’re not coming in, I don’t need you in anyways.”
“No, Naruto I’m not calling for
Naruto’s heart was racing a
million miles per hour, his eyes had already started burning, he couldn’t take
this any longer.
“Sasuke for fuck sake just say
what’s on your mind, this is killing me.”
“I need you to come home.”
Naruto’s eyes widened, why did he
have to come now? Did he want to leave Naruto face to face? Did he want the
glory to watch Naruto crumble at his feet in defeat?
“I have something really
important to talk to you about.”
“I have to do this face to face
Naruto, can you come?”
“Yer, I’ll be there in 5.”
Naruto hanged up the line before
Sasuke could say another word.
He started to cry heavily,
gripping onto his heart with his hands. He slowly collapsed to the ground in
pain, he no longer held it in, he just started to sob.
“Why Sasuke!? Why!?”
He couldn’t believe this was it,
he was going to go home and get dumped. Everything he had worked for, all the
lying at the start, all the insecurities what was it all for? He thought it
would be forever with Sasuke, he thought he found his happiness.
Why him? Hasn’t he already gone
through enough? Hasn’t he already been tortured enough?
“Why is the fucking world against
Naruto stood up, wiped his tears
away aggressively, he angrily walked over to the window and opened it, he
applied a large force of chakra to his feet and sky rocketed out towards
his house, bouncing from roof to roof so quickly that you could barely see him.
Naruto looked at his house
through the forest, all lit up, so welcoming and warm. But it wasn’t, the house
was holding the one person who had all the kryptonite to defeat Naruto, the
power to finally kill the light he carried.
If Naruto is the sun and Sasuke
the moon, then today, this house, this moment would be a solar eclipse, the
moon finally blocking out the sun.
Naruto took slow steps forward,
afraid of the house and the man inside. Afraid of the pain that would follow
after opening the front door.
But alas even though his mind was
saying run away, his legs walked forward towards his doom.
Sooner or later he was in front
of his door, looking down at the welcome mat thinking to himself, Kakashi and
Shizune looked so miserably down and solemn when they talked to Naruto, did
Sasuke already tell them he was leaving Naruto? How many people knew about
this, was the whole village laughing behind Naruto’s back, waiting for his
Was no one kind enough to tell
him Sasuke was going to rip out his heart on this day, on the solar eclipse?
Naruto started to turn the
handle, fearful of what lay on the other side. But he walked forward into the
house anyways, he had to get this over and done.
As he slowly closed the door
behind him he found Sasuke already waiting for him at the kitchen table.
He looked at Naruto with tired
and drained eyes.
“Sasuke, care to tell me what
this is all about? Because I have been wracking my brain for so long and I
just… need this to stop.”
Sasuke got up from his seat and
walked over to Naruto, he looked down to the ground, like he was struggling to
say the next few words. He raised his head up and bit down on his lips.
“Naruto, I have thought long and
hard about this, but I believe this is what I want to do…”
Naruto started to clench his
fist, he knew the next couple of words will be the bullets which would finally
silence his heart. He felt his chest contracting against him, pulling and
pushing harshly against his rib cage.
He wasn’t ready to die.
“Naruto…” Sasuke said
whilst slowly getting down on one knee.