the unconscious affair


That last thought had brought no sting with it.

Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini

impalaforthree  asked:

I keep wondering - if Dolarhyde had succeded at killing Molly and Walter, do you think Will would've been able to forgive him? I think at that point they are treading a very thin line and honestly I thought it was a stupid decision from Hannibal that could've made Will walk away for good.

I think Bella put it best in Mizumono when she was talking to Hannibal about forgiveness…

“Forgiveness is such a profound, conscious and unconscious state of affairs. You can’t actually choose to do it. It simply happens to you.”

And this right here is also what Bedelia was trying to say when she compared forgiveness to falling in love. Will has never had a choice when it comes to forgiving Hannibal, just as he has never had a choice when it comes to loving Hannibal. He simply does.

Will has already forgiven Hannibal for a lot. A LOT. So much that in reality it seems inconceivable for someone to forgive another person for even one of the things Hannibal has done to Will, let alone all of them. Over the course of their relationship, Hannibal has:

  • Taken advantage of Will’s encephalitis, something he smelled on him very early on, inducing seizures on purpose, getting a doctor to lie to Will about his condition, then convincing him he had a mental illness, all in his attempt to get Will to believe that he was a killer.
  • Framed him for murder, literally shoving Abigail’s ear down his throat in the process.
  • Allowed Will to believe that Abigail was dead for months.
  • Found out Margot was pregnant with Will’s child, then proceeded to insure Mason would take care of the situation before said child ever came into the picture.  
  • When Will finally found out that Abigail was alive Hannibal killed her right in front of him.
  • Gutted Will with a linoleum knife, and regardless of his possible intentions for Will to survive the attack, he did leave him to bleed out all over his kitchen floor.
  • Tried to saw his head open with the intention of eating his brain.
  • Sent Dolarhyde after his wife and eleven year old step-son.

Taking all of this into consideration, I don’t think adding “actually succeeding” to the last one would have changed things all that much, at least as far as forgiveness is concerned. For Will, the moment that happened they were taken from him anyways. 

Other things would have been changed as a result, obviously. Molly would have been dead and Will wouldn’t have been under any illusions that returning home was still even remotely possible. It’s hard to say what would have happened beyond that point though, and I almost feel like it’s pointless to speculate, but I don’t think it would have done much to change the inevitable forgiveness from Will. He can’t choose that he will forgive Hannibal for literally anything at this point, just as he can’t choose to stop loving him.

Forgiveness is such a profound, emotional, conscious and unconscious state of affairs, we can’t actually choose to do it. It has to come to you. Like a gift from God. There is no forgiving as a verb, as an act that you can actually execute. It simply happens to you.
—  Mizumono / Hannibal 2.13