the tricks tho

2

more magician reigen bc its so much fun

and also ritsu bc definitely super fun

At the pizza shop...

Hey, your pizzas smell and look delicious and I see you sell them at 10$ with 2$ extra for each topping. Well, here’s the thing… I have to make sure that I like your pizzas in order to be able to pay for them so the first pizza has to be for free. If then I like your pizza I am willing to pay a whole 1$25c every topping included. I see that you don’t have pineapple as topping but I’m sure you will enjoy adding pineapple on my pizza for free. By the way, I will have you know that I am not desperate for your pizza. I am not even that hungry and the other pizza shop down the street sells them for 62cents anyway so you have to be thankful that I want to eat your pizza. Oh and since I can’t have the pizza delivered home since I can’t eat it in front of my wife, I will have to deduct 5cents for the cost of me walking there. So, 1$20c. 

WHAT??? You don’t want to offer me a free pizza???? You want me to pay the FULL price? Oh my God, you’re such a filthy pro! I am not that hungry anyway and not like the desperate starving men you serve pizza to!!!!! Anyway, your pizzas doesn’t seem good enough to be deserving 10$!! I would only pay that for an artisanal pizza that’s baked in stone oven and topped with real italian cheese, cold meat and served in a silver platter along with a glass of chianti!!!!!! You need to learn some decency!

luv me some gay space robots………

This just happenned
  • Me: So I like this show about the devil. Lucifer has really grown on me as a person.
  • Religious friend: Ugh, but he's evil. How can you like someone who's like the SOURCE of evil.
  • Me: *stands up* HE'S NOT EVIL, HE PUNISHES EVIL! AND YOU'RE SO CLOSE-MINDED YOU WILL FAIL YOUR DEGREE.
  • All the other friends in the room: wtf
  • Religious friend: wtf
  • Me: wtf
Therapies.

[Root is undercover as an employee of a company in which requires psychological assessments and therapies for every employee.]

EDIT: okay so some of you are confused about the timelines? the only clue is Root’s nail polish, it means past and present…i’m an idiot i thought it was obvious.*sighs*

This time I have 15 pgs for you….. For some of you who’ve seen the first 6 pgs, the rest 9 pgs are brand-new. Enjoy.

Alias reference (Root): Mary Fairfax Somerville

If having trouble loading any pics: AO3.

 


Okay this is the end of it. Thanks for reading.

And please, please please please PLEASE do NOT re-upload my works to any website *WITHOUT MY PERMISSION* god it’s NOT FUNNY my lovely pirates.

Have a nice day.

OTP Idea #616: 16 Days Till Halloween!!

Person A wants to go trick-or-treating, but is allergic to chocolate.
Person B enjoys handing out candy to the little kids, but doesn’t want to send Person A out by themselves.

The solution?

They trick-or-treat together, and hand out all of their chocolate to kids they pass.

Tom: “Huh? What is that supposed to mean…”

Tom: “…What?! They only left to go to the store!”

Tom: “There’s no way they could’ve … they’re … they’re fine, they have to be…”

Tom: “…And now you’re telling me Tord is alive?!”

Tom: “What is this, some kind of sick prank?! I don’t have to deal with this–”

Tom: “…”

Tom: “M-maybe I should call them … just in case…”

Tom: “Hello? Edd?”

Edd: “Hello?”

Tom: “Oh, thank god. Everyone’s saying that you and Matt are dead, I know it’s stupid but I just got worried and–”

Edd: “…”

Tom: “…Edd…?”

Edd: “Haha, got you! I can’t answer the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep! Beep!”

Tom: “…It was his voicemail…  That asshole…”

Tom: “I’ll try Matt, he always has his phone…”

Tom: “Hello? Matt?”

“We’re sorry, the number you’re trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please leave a message at the tone.”

Tom: “…..”

Tom: “Now I’m getting really worried…”

-Mod Matt

2

“Harry Potter? Who’s Harry Potter?”
“Oh, no one. Bit of a tosser, really.”


Imagine. An AU where Dumbledore doesn’t cockblock Harry. LOL

I’m watching the Gyakuten Saiban anime because free time 🙌 and in episode 14, Morgan Fey does the whole assuming-Lotta-Hart’s-a-foreigner-because-of-the-way-she-talks and Fey does the whole:

“Oh, maybe you’re one of /those/” (“those” said in distain and implying “foreigners”)
“Your Japanese is ~so~ good!!”

and they make light of it here, but having been a foreigner in Japan and having that exact treatment of people “praising” my Japanese made me realize, once again, how demeaning it was despite how it sounded.

(1) it basically emphasized that my Japanese sounded unnatural. You would never tell a native language speaker that they speak their native language ~so well~, that’s fucking bullshit.
(2) it drew the line between us. I was immediately casted as an outsider. In a culture where “Uchi” (inside) and “Soto” (outside) are HIGHLY emphasized, this phrase could not hurt more in saying: “You don’t belong,” “You’re not one of us.”

while there were people who had been impressed by my studies and progress in Japanese during my time there, there were also people who without a doubt, held malice in their choice of words, even if they “didn’t know it.” I think those words constantly reminded me that my time there was temporary even though I haven’t committed to that choice yet myself (almost as if it was already decided for me).

It’s really an old bone to pick, but I still think this is a common occurrence for my JET peers. (Including the infamous “You’re so good at chopsticks!!”) microaggression never seems like a big deal (hence the word micro), but I think bits of it does add up…. if the pen is mightier than the sword, can’t we say the same for speech? that speech can fucking hurt more than sticks and stones? (Honestly if I find the one who said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”, I’m gonna clobber them.)

I want to be more careful with my words, and while I know I will definitely be shit at keeping that promise, if I say something that’s off the mark, call me out, tell me how good I am at English or chopsticks and I’ll stfu.