the transition

On the left, you’ll see an unhappy trans girl not being allowed to wear the skirt she had hidden under her bed. On the right, you’ll see a much happier trans woman who can wear whatever she wants. If there’s one thing I want my social media presence to tell people, it’s to listen to your transgender children, friends, and community members. I wasn’t allowed to wear clothing that I was comfortable in for over 5 years and it took over 6 years to convince my parents to let me go on hormones. By simply listening, these years of discomfort and dysphoria could have been avoided. Trans folks know what’s right for our own bodies; it’s time to listen to our needs and narratives.

3

it’s my first anniversary of starting hormones!

when i first took my pills a year ago, i was somehow planning to keep it a secret until i’d magically begin to pass. but the more people i told, the less i wanted to stay hidden away. when I gave my name out at a birthday party a month later, it started a chain reaction that led to me coming out very shortly afterward, changing my legal name, replacing my wardrobe, creating myself consciously and seriously for the first time. 

it’s been a hell of a year. i’ve gone through two doctors, switched from pills to injections, grown breasts, gotten buff, dyed my hair pink, adopted the punk style I always wanted, wrote shitloads of stories, created lasting friendships with an entire group of lgbt people, and returned to the Sand Dunes under my new name as I promised myself last August. i’ve gone down a clothing size and pierced my ears, learned to paint my nails, felt my hips shift with growth. i moved out of my parents’ place and started a new life with my girlfriend. in a few minutes i’ll place a call for an appointment to get letters written to confirm i am ready for SRS. 

i think i always knew this was coming, but i didn’t think it would really be this much fun, this good to be myself. i love my new name, my new look, my changing body, the clothes i’m buying to replace an oversized wardrobe. i’ve never once considered going back.

  • Me in 2014 before owning a dog: Man I will never be a ~dog mom~ dogs are dogs not children what a stupid trend
  • Me in 2015 with a dog: this is my dog, I take her to dog school to learn to be a civilised member of dog society but she's not a child substitute and i'm not a dog mom
  • Me in 2017, now with two dogs: these are my furry dog children they go to dog school and i wake up early every sunday to take them to sports and they seemed cold so i got them matching hoodies and they have their own toy box and one of them got sick so i took a day off work to look after her and they go on play dates and i tuck them in every night and give them a kiss for good dreams i'm think i'm a dog mom

taylor swift. she has been harrased, threatened, bullied by the whole internet for so long. she has been getting called ‘snake’ and ‘liar’for over a year now. she has been made fun of because of her body, and because someone harrased her. she became a meme, the taylor swift will sue you meme. everywhere, everytime. they didn’t let her take a breath, even thought she was on a break and had said nothing for months. her reputation had been destroyed by people who just wanted to take advantage of her fame and influence, trying to take her down. but taylor is ready to come back. she is ready to act up. taylor alison swift has risen from the dead to reclaim her reputation again. welcome to the sixth album, reputation.

hrt appreciation post here we go

(it’s long so prepare or scroll really fast if you wanna pass it)

me, 1993, wtf is a gender i wear diapers for god sakes 

late 90s, rockin some shades and some crazy sweaters even though i live in FL (still do that to this day)

time jump to… early 2000s, flexin and loving dogs (still doing that to this day wassup somethings never change)

oh wow here comes Middle School™ and the emo phase begins (sadly no pics during the emo phase)

oh shit what up 2008 scene phase yes that is a STAY BRUTAL™ sweater) 

then ya boy calmed down a bit and stopped giving a fuck about impressing ppl (idk why I thought being scene was impressive dont ask)

ya boy graduated HS and was free to do whatever to his hair so colors were everywhere but also was the time when his self worth was at his lowest and was dressing and looking how he thought people would want so he could get them to like him (ew right?) 

ya boy got his very first mohawk and rocked that shit for a few years

dis is some pics of the year he starts questioning his gender identity and after 6 months of research and “soul searching” decides to start HRT

yo boy is SIX MONTHS ON T !!! and starting to grow facial hair B)

YO BOY IS ONE (1) YR ON T AND JUST HAD TOP SURGERY! but also shaved his head a few months back and feels hella ugly lol 

fwd and we are now 1.5 years on T ! Hair is finally coming in and he’s look decent these days.

WHOOOA LONG HAIR WHO DIS!!! YA BOYS TWO (2) YEARS ON T !!! and 1 YR POST OP! Feeling amazing tbh

ooo shit we winding down now yall

ya boy is Two (2) years and 3 months on T and thankful every day that his blood work came back with the all clear to start T, thankful for his support group and friends/family that love and support him (shout out to my sister), thankful for how well he’s transitioned even though it was long and hard on the mental state a lot of the time, he pushed through and came out the other end smiling and happy in his skin. Thankful every day that he can afford to start on HRT, thankful every day for all the support he gets online from kind words to donations that helped afford top surgery + donations I got when he was filing for the name change as well. 

I’m posting this in hopes that it helps anyone who needs it. I’m a huge believer in doing things for yourself and making sure your happiness/comfort is always first before someone else’s. I hope it gives inspiration and motivation to those who are scared to transition in fear of what their families will think, in fear of how they will transition, fear of all the nerve wracking things that comes with HRT. Hoping that it shows you, that while HRT isn’t an over night fix, that takes time and a lot of hard days but in the end, you come out on top. It’s still a struggle some days but nothing compared to the days when I was pre-T. 

Feel free to message me if you have any questions about HRT with T and I’m happy to answer to the best of my ability!

My name is NIkk and I’m non binary! He/him pronouns =)