An embarrassed anon here, looking for fandom advice from a fandom dad. I left some feedback on a fic by one of my favorite authors . It was totally complimentary, really enthusiastic, specific, all round nice. They've replied to everyone's ao3 comments except for mine and now I'm worried I accidentally said something awful. Should I keep worrying about this? Should I try to contact them (we're low-key mutuals)? should I tell my anxiety to stfu? How would you respond to a reader like me?
It’s a tough one, Anon, especially since I’m not in the “normal” range when it comes to comments.
One, I would say, it’s highly likely that if you’re the only person they haven’t responded to, either they lost your comment in the shuffle or they’re still working out how to reply – sometimes the comments I reply to the latest are the ones I should have replied to first but I was still figuring out how to respond. Especially comments that either inadvertently give me fic ideas or suggest really good ones.
Two, given that you are low-key mutuals, yeah, I would get in touch – not in a demanding way, just to say “Hey, I wanted to check if you saw my comment, I really loved your fic and just wanted to make sure I didn’t offend you or anything.” After which you gotta let it drop, because that’s the point at which it’s still just a friendly “Hey fellow fan good job!” whereas anything after that veers into RESPOND TO ME, PLEASE RESPOND TO ME territory.
Three, it is very difficult to tell anxiety to stfu :) But I have had success toning down my anxiety by always assuming benevolence on the part of the other person, firstly because it’s much more likely since most of us go through life being basically benevolent messes, and secondly because if they are being malevolent, their malevolence is wasted on me, the person who assumes they have nothing but good intentions, and they are thwarted. It takes a while to train yourself to assume benevolence, it takes a bit of effort, but once you do it does make life a bit brighter. :) Good luck!