the top right and bottom left are my favorite pictures ever though

“So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. "If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.“ -Scout Burns

Birthday Girl (submission)

On your birthday you wake up to tons of notifications on twitter and Instagram, from family and friends but also fans wishing you a happy birthday and other well wishes. Your heart is warmed by the kind messages from people all over, you think that maybe a little bit later you’ll do a quick Instagram live stream to thank everyone. 

It’s tradition that whoever’s birthday it is gets to pick what’s on the menu for breakfast (or in this case, brunch, since it was so hard to get out of his cozy grasp this morning). You kindly ask Harry for his famous pancakes, but instead of bananas (like he always requests), could he pretty please throw some chocolate chips in, and maybe some whipped cream and strawberries on top, and even though you know he’ll say that “it’s too much sugar for this early in the mornin’ love, but since it’s your birthday…” he’ll reluctantly toss the chocolate chips in anyway. 

As he’s getting everything ready, he hands you your coffee with a kiss to the forehead, telling you to go cuddle up on the couch and he’ll call you when everything is ready. 

As you shuffle over to your shared living room, with your favorite fuzzy blanket wrapped loosely around you and your favorite morning playlist softly drifting through from the kitchen, you get comfortable in your self-designated corner of couch. You take a sip of your coffee and open up Instagram, ready to make your short little live message for the fans. 

“Good morning friends! Or should I say afternoon since it’s almost 11 here,” you giggle. “I woke up to so many lovely messages and I just wanted to say a big thank you to all of you for helping to make my birthday so special already.” 

Immediately you see lots of followers have tuned into your live stream, with messages starting to appear at the bottom, and a rising number of viewers showing at the top. You answer a few of the messages popping up at the bottom, as Ed Sheeran’s "Perfect” starts to echo through the speakers in the kitchen, and you smile thinking that it’s one of your favorite love songs. 

“It’s pretty cold here today, so I think I might say in my blanket for as long as possible. Maybe find a good movie to watch while I eat my birthday pancakes." 

As you continue to talk to your phone, your ears perk up to Harry’s voice starting to sing along with the song and you start to panic ever so slightly. Whenever Harry sings, your heart always slightly flutters, but this time it’s for a totally different reason.

Of course everyone knows that you are with Harry, you have been for years, but you purposely make it a point to not make a show of it. You both like to keep your private lives private, something that is hard to do when he has the job and life that he does. The last thing you want is to cause any drama with his fans, to have anyone thinking you are showing him off, or invading his privacy, especially on your birthday of all days. So with a frozen smile, an ever so slight wide eyed expression, and multiple messages from quick fans who already picked up on the fact that it was indeed Harry’s voice in the background, you try to gently get up from your seat the sneak to the next room, hoping that it will all go unnoticed. The video is in fact live, it’s not as though you can delete it later or suddenly end the video just as his voice appears without causing suspicion.

As you start to make your move, he hollers, "Oi you don’ like my singin’? Get paid to do this ya know, s’not very nice to jus’ ignore my performance.” He is standing across the room from you, watching you with his infamous smirk, his arms folded across his chest. That’s when he sees the way in which your holding your phone and he asks, “whatcha doin’ love?“ 

Panic runs through you as you swallow and answer, “Umm, doing a live video thanking everyone for the birthday wishes.” He knows you better than anyone, so you hope that the look in your eyes will tell him what he needs to know. 

But instead, he makes his way to you and plops himself down on your lap, trapping and slightly crushing you with his weight, not that you would normally mind, but under this particular circumstance, you begin to worry. He keeps his gaze on your phone as his face appears in front of yours.

He’s not one for social media, using it minimally for both his personal and professional life, never wanting to be in his friends’ snapchats or have his personal pictures being posted too often. In your two years of being with each other, you’ve posted maybe two or three photos of the two of you together, only with his permission to share these personal moments. So for him to willingly put himself in this live stream, you’re confused and a bit anxious. Maybe he doesn’t understand what this is? Maybe he thinks you can not post it at all, or even delete it later? 

He continues to stare at the screen, watching the mass influx of messages popping up at the bottom, and the dramatic increase of viewers at the top. He seems unphased. 

"Haz it’s live,” you gently whisper with a smile, almost hiding yourself behind his large frame. “Can’t delete it.”

“S'why it’s called a live stream, innit?” He quips. 

You’re shocked to say the least, that he would insert himself like this, that he would knowingly make his private life public like this, but you suppose there’s no more use in questioning now, not with the camera still pointed on both of your faces. 

“Wha’s tha’?” He asks, pointing to the bottom right of the screen.

“Hearts.” You murmur, your chin resting nervously on his right shoulder. 

“ ’N what’re the numbers?“ 

"How many people are watching.”

“Hmm,” he hums, “Wha’s all this?” He points again, this time to the bottom left. 

“People commenting, saying hello. Asking questions.“ 

He pauses for just a moment, continuing to let his eyes wander over the screen, smiling occasionally and then furrowing his brow. 

"Why’s everyone sayin’ happy birthday? Mine’s not fo’ two more months.” He waits a moment before turning and giving you a cheeky smile.

You roll your eyes at him but can’t help but laugh. “S'my birthday, Harry” and you give him a pout. 

He just laughs at you, and turns back at the screen. He gives the screen one last furrowed look, then begins to stick his tongue out at the screen. Repetitively. He raises his eyebrows and continuously sticks his tongue out, and you are extremely confused as to what is going on.

“Harry, what are you doing?“ You giggle softly. It’s hard to give a true laugh with his heavy weight still on top of you. 

"Wanna be the dog,” he states matter of factly, sticking his tongue out once more. “Where’s th’ dog?“

You laugh again, this time a little more loudly, “That’s snap chat love, this is Instagram. It doesn’t have all those filters." 

He frowns, looking like a little boy who didn’t get his way, and you just want to give him kisses all over because he looks so damn cute, and if your phone wasn’t in front of both of your faces, with thousands of fans tuning in, you would. 

Your tummy gives a soft growl, bringing you back to reality and you are reminded of the breakfast (well, brunch) that awaits you. 

You let out a soft sigh, "Pancakes done?” You ask, as you rest you head against him, watching him watch the screen. 

“Oh shit!!” He all but yells. He pops up from his seat on your lap, slightly knocking you over in the process. Your phone jostles and you’re thankful he didn’t knock over the coffee mug that is sitting on the coffee table before you. 

You stay seated, laughing loudly, as you watch him rush into the kitchen, grabbing the spatula to check the damage, but you just know these ones must be burned. You turn you attention back to your phone, pursing your lips as you try to contain the love and joy and utter bliss you feel. He may be a tall, lanky, soft, silly dork, but he’s yours and you love him with your whole heart. 

You give your phone once last playful eye roll, and whisper so he can’t hear you, “And he brags he used to be a baker.”

“Oi! I hear’ tha’! Jus’ cause it’s your birthday doesn’ mean you get t’ be mean t’ me!” 

You glance down at the comments one last time, seeing all the loving remarks from his fans, but the ones that stick out to you the most are the ones that tell you something that you already knew. You smile, “Yeah, ‘m one lucky girl,” you think to yourself. 

With one last thank you and goodbye to the live stream, you ditch you phone and your blanket on the couch, and make you way to the kitchen where Harry has already put new batter into the pan. You smile as you snake your arms around him, nestling your face and nose into his back, giving him a small squeeze.

“New one’s ‘ill be ready in a mo’,” he murmurs, slowly swaying back and forth with you to the new song playing. 

You hum in response, forgetting all about the pancakes, just wanting to be in this moment with him, to feel his warmth, to smell his smell, and to remember that you are indeed one lucky (birthday) girl. 

——

THIS is one of the cutest submissions I have EVER gotten holy shIT I’m so in love 😍
Like Canned Peaches- (NSFW Meihem)

“Brrrr! I get cold just lookin’ at ya!”

He’d waited hopefully for a response to his attempt at casual conversation, brows lifted as he stared intently at the irritated woman in the fluffy parka who was clearly doing her best not to pay any attention to him. He’d even offered his most winning smile, the kind with slightly less teeth, before she fully turned towards him and sternly pushed her glasses up with one gloved finger. Her adorable little lips had pursed as she lifted her nose in the air and finally, finally spoke directly to him.

“Then you should look somewhere else!”

That had been their first real interaction. Mei turned him down flat.

But then again, that had hardly been the first time Junkrat had been turned down flat by the object of his attentions. In fact, he was turned down flat most of the time, and knew the only solution was to keep trying. He’d made several attempts after that one, each just as unsuccessful as the last, and took increasingly desperate measures to make her look his way, maybe give him another irked scowl, or fling more of her mild insults at him. The accusations of being a horrible, no-good bully didn’t really bother him. He’d been called much worse than that over the years, with much more colorful junker vernacular. But he couldn’t help but notice that he was the only one in the entire group to earn that particular brand of ire. So, he figured that in his own strange way, he must have been special to her. And he liked that idea very much, being special to her.

She was everything unknown to him; she was quiet where he was loud, she was soft and curvy where he was gaunt skin and bones, she used ice just as he used fire, and she was softspoken and polite where he was raucous and blunt. She had little apple-cheeks that dimpled when she smiled, even if it was never at him, and her little giggles sounded like tinkling bells that could grab his attention even through the constant ringing in both his ears. She even smelled nice, from what he’d been able to whiff of her before her giant Russian brick shithouse of a friend had grabbed his head and thrown him in the opposite direction, like vanilla extract that came in those little bottles that smelled wonderful but didn’t taste so wonderful, or flowers he didn’t know the name of.

He’d never really seen a woman like her in person before. The women in the Outback were much like the men of the Outback; their brains just as baked as their half-starved bodies, with vicious demeanors, loud voices, leathery tits, and cunts that felt like being in the inside of a baseball glove. The sheilas on the covers of the magazines (at least the human ones, any pictures of omnic women were promptly destroyed with prejudice) were always almost as scrawny as the women in the Outback, always had their eyes closed or looked vacantly confused, and usually were half covered with text about the ten most beneficial yogurts or other things that women seemed to worry about in the outside world. Occasionally he’d get his grimy claws on the good kind of magazine, the ones where they arched their backs and got their tits out and bit their fingers and looked at him real seductive-like, but he usually spent more time trying peel the sticky pages apart without ripping the good bits, and trying not to imagine the previous owner as he did so.

And then there was Mei, who was different from everyone in the best possible way he could think of, and he wished she didn’t hate him so much.

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Creepypasta #1147: Windows 95

Length: Medium

Many years ago, before iPhones, tablets, and computers that actually work pretty well, we were stuck with PCs operating Windows 95. My first computer was an old IBM, and I used the damn thing on a daily basis.

Windows 95 was the first operating system that I can remember using somewhat frequently. I’d do homework, check my email, and occasionally play a game or two. The choices were somewhat limited at this point in time. If you’ve heard of the game “Ski Free,” then you’re tracking with me.

Anyway, there was something kind of odd about Windows 95. There was a quirk with the OS, something that, in hindsight, seems kind of sinister. Moreover, there’s one experience that has stayed with me all these years, becoming an obsession of sorts where I actually fear it will happen again. But more on that in a little bit. First, the issue with Windows.

One night I was up late searching online. I’d probably gone to Ask Jeeves - a now antiquated search engine that featured a butler. This is all somewhat superfluous information, but I’ll go with it. Anyway, I was searching the internet (homework I think), and I came across this weird feature of Windows 95. It was this little companion that popped up on your screen and helped you navigate the search engines.

This little feature was a floating face. Nothing too fancy, really. Black circles for eyes, a line for a mouth and that’s it. It was a round white face. This feature would sort of bob by the page and then you’d ask it to help you. I remember because it had this robotic voice that was kind of funny.

I was pretty young when I was using this device, but I’d search for a while and then he’d pop up and ask me what I was doing. I thought this was kind of helpful. But one time, on one night, he asked me a strange question.

“How old are you?”

“13” I typed.

“Where do you live?”

“California.”

“Los Angeles, I see.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” I replied.

“Are you a good boy?”

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What You Do To Me part I (Park Chanyeol x Reader)

*This is my very first time writing! I hate reading and literature but I was just feeling it so why not? Please read and give me tips and advice. I’d like to turn this into a series. Please reblog and like so I know I’m doing well 💖 enjoy!

Description: What happens when you’re a 21 year old bag designer and meet Park Chanyeol who you’ve been stanning your whole life at Fashion Week?

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 1864

Shuffling in my comforter on my king-sized bed while my alarm went off, I let out a groan. I reached over to my phone on the left nightstand and my hand just happened to miss it pushing it right off onto the marble floors of my apartment. The alarm was still going off and I let out another groan as I prayed that nothing had cracked. I manage to slide out of the comfy sheets and grab the device from the ground to shut off the loud morning call. The sun had barely risen, so why was I up so early? As much as I wanted to spend another 15 minutes in bed, I knew I couldn’t. Today was an important day for me and my career. I looked over to my right nightstand and saw a small envelope decorated with gold leaf and vintage flowers. I pulled out the piece of cardstock from it and in bold letters it read, “You have been invited to the S/S 2017-2018 CHANEL Show @ New York Fashion Week.” It had more information regarding the event and featured designers. I read every single word until something caught my eyes. At the bottom of the invitation I read, “Seat: A116”. Row A. I was going to sit in Row A of Section 1 in seat 16. Only the best of the best in this industry were seated here. This was the section where top bloggers, top designers, and top celebrities chilled as mannequin-like figures strut down the runway. I had only turned 21 about three weeks ago, so how did someone as young as me get one of the best seats at Fashion Week?

THREE MONTHS EARLIER

“Designer y/n will be the Hottest Handbag Designer of 2017”, I read off the article in excitement as all my friends and families congratulated me. I never went to design school or took professional lessons, but I had made a successful debut as a handbag designer. My aesthetics were appealing to many people. It was the perfect mix of hard and soft, feminine and edgy, cool and dark. Everyone loved it. This included Beyonce. My work was beautiful and modern. Beyonce tweeted my work and even asked for a handbag for herself, which I definitely did not refuse. Ever since then, I’ve been blowing up as the next big thing of 2017.

This was my first appearance at a major event. My work was being recognized and I deserved a spot here. I would be able to make create so many connections and opportunities for myself in this industry. Focusing back to my first priority, which was to make yourself a nice warm cup of green tea, I put down the invitation and scrambled out of the bedroom. Quickly starting up the water on the stove, I ran to wash my face and brush my teeth. After, I came back to finish making my cup of tea and headed back to my bedroom. I sat down at my vanity and wondered how I was going to do my makeup. Feathery brows and a dewy base was the trend so I decided on that. Before I started, I pulled the curtains away so I could do my makeup in natural lighting. I had bad experiences with looking too orange after doing my face in bad lighting. As I did my makeup, I listened to whatever was playing on my favorite station on Spotify, which was in no doubt, EXO. I was the biggest fan of them, especially Chanyeol. I admired how talented he was. I mean, SM though, right? Right when I was about to attempt Chen’s highnote in Monster, the music stopped. My phone rang in the familiar ringtone of EXO’s debut song and I picked up. It was my best friend, f/n. “Hey! Did you hear?” she exclaimed. “No, what? Why are you so excited so early?” - “I just heard something and you won’t believe it” - “okay, and?” I replied with confusion. “Okay so you know my friend Marco. He works with the organizers of Fashion Week and gave me a peek at the guest list in your section. Oh my god I’m going to die. EXO is seated right next to you in seats A117-A120.” I couldn’t believe it. EXO, who I had been following from the very beginning in 2012 was going to be at Fashion Week. Seated right next to me. How was this possible? I was honestly going to lose your shit. Just how was I going to introduce myself and act? Am I gonna be lame and ask for an autograph and picture. That’s not lame, is it? Too many thoughts were running through my mind at the moment and found everything hard to process right now. I finished the call with f/n and finished my makeup as calmly as possible. 5 minutes later, I still haven’t calmed down my shit yet. Well, a little bit. I pulled out an outfit from my closet. It was a ruffled blouse in the color of crimson. Along with it, was a pair of flared culottes that defined my waist in a beautiful nude color. It was the perfect length for my petite body that stood at 5’0”. I quickly styled my hair into loose waves that framed my face perfectly. Time was passing quicker than I remembered so I packed my little nude clutch, threw on my outfit, a pair of single-strap heels and I was out the door.

Thank god I lived in the Big Apple because 5 minutes after i arrived, lines got real long. I showed my invitation to the two overly buff men at the entrance and entered the venue. It was nothing like I’ve ever seen before. It was dim and there were people from all industries. Oh yeah, celebrities. Celebrities were EVERYWHERE. EXO was nowhere to be seen (yet) so I managed to stay calm. It was awkward not having anyone I know to keep me company considering I was new to this world. I stood in the corner like a plant not knowing what to do. I checked my phone and it displayed “12:46 PM.” The show didn’t start until one so I was stuck with no one to talk to for the next 14 minutes. But that was a lie. A lady who looked in her early 30’s came towards me. She was chic and had a perky personality. She introduced herself as a journalist from Vogue and wanted to interview me. I was more than happy to and answered all her questions perfectly. It was just the right timing because the show was going to start any minute now. I shuffled around to my spot and man, I felt incredible. Front row seats, where I would get the best view. I was on top of the world, until I saw a large shadow overcast me. The large figure took a seat and I recognized who it was right away. EXO. EXO was seated right next to me. In fact, Park Chanyeol was seated right next to me. I might’ve stared for too long because Chanyeol turned to greet me. I greeted back and tried to focus on the show. My face was growing as red as my blouse. Was Chanyeol going to notice? Oh god, he smells wonderful. He was so close to me, I knew I was going to lose my shit. But i’m an adult, so I didn’t. The show started and I was able to relax more into my seat. I totally had forgotten about the beautiful being that was seated next to me. I enjoyed all collections that came out on that runway and I knew I was going to be invited to more shows. At the end, everyone stood and applaud the closing. It took about five minutes for everyone to settle down and continue on with whatever they planned to do for the rest of the day. EXO was getting up from their seats and greeting people. Are they going to leave? Am I going to ask for a picture? Should I just introduce myself? I couldn’t make up my mind as my phone suddenly rang. Oh my god, Mama was playing from my phone right now. And I was too shock to turn it off. Chanyeol immediately turned to me hearing the familiar song. He gives me probably the most angelic smile I’ve ever seen and he was hella tall. He towered over me but I didn’t look like a midget thanks to my 4-inch heels. The only thing I could say was “It’s my ringtone”. Of course I stuttered it, but it came out in korean so that was a plus. “You speak korean?” Chanyeol asks. I thank the lord for letting me study korean because they were finally coming into use. I answer shyly yes and Chanyeol was more than excited to talk to me. “A-ah Annyeonghaseyo. My name is y/n. I’m a handbag designer.” Unconsciously, I hand him my business card. He takes it from my fingers and says, “Ah! I’ve heard about you. I’m a fan. It’s amazing how far you’ve come considering your age.” He just said he was my fan “I’m a huge fan of you too! You have no idea how long I’ve been following you gu-” I cut myself off, too embarrassed to continue. Now, my face was really blowing up. Chanyeol lets out a small laugh. He leads a small talk with me until one of the other members nudge him that they must leave now. “How long are you guys staying?” I quickly asked. Chanyeol replied, “We’re leaving tonight. But please come to Korea and watch our shows sometime!” I gladly nod and wave goodbye to him. I guess he wasn’t expecting just a wave because he came in to give me a light hug. And like that, he disappeared into the crowd, leaving me stranded in row A of Section 1 with my fastly beating heart.

9:00PM

Resting on the couch, I scrolled through all the articles about me at Fashion Week. There were tons of them. Apparently, I had been one of the favorite outfits of the bloggers. A plus for that! As much fun as the show was, I couldn’t forget about Chanyeol. Why would he hug me when he barely knew me? Wouldn’t all the other fans come after me if they knew? I was more than familiar with this crazy fandom and there are some crazy lunatics. But still. Why didn’t he just settle with a wave? Are koreans that open? I thought they didn’t like skinship. Once again, my heart was beating extremely quick. I decide to close my eyes and rest my mind. Not even 20 seconds had pass when I get an instagram notification. I look at the screen and my jaw dropped wide open. “(y/insta/n): real_pcy liked your photo” I was losing brain cells because this wasn’t being processed into my mind either. My phone dings again with another notification. “(y/insta/n): real_pcy sent you a message” And I lost my shit again.

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

10

Alright, I had a post on Instagram displaying my treasure trove of Japanese language learning books. I wanted to show off a few of them and talk about all of them. The first photo displays them all (tumblr limited me to 10 photos only, so I’ll discuss some of them without photos, sorry!). Starting from the bottom of the pile:

1. Kanji Power by Tuttle. It’s what you think it is, a kanji workbook. It has a kanji, a mnemonic, some space to practice writing, on'yomi, kun'yomi, stroke order, and some vocabulary/phrases. It has some kanji not covered in my other kanji books.

2. If You Teach Me Japanese, I’ll Teach You English. It’s a strange little book and it’s taking me a while to get the hang of it, but this book was written specifically for language exchanges. Each lesson is done first in Japanese, then again in English. You and your partner serve as the “teacher” in your native language, while you practice that language. So I would read through as the instructor in the English lesson and guide my partner with the scripted dialogues, helping them along the way so that they learn English. They would do vice versa for me with the Japanese. I got this one specifically to aid me in exchanging my language with my partners. They do great with the Japanese and I needed guidance on how to help them with English. So this one isn’t really to learn Japanese, it’s to help me exchange with my Japanese friends.

3. Japanese Step by Step. This is one of the few books that focuses on teaching you SPEAKING Japanese. Most of my books help in reading, writing and I’m having to supplement with Memrise and YouTube for listening and speaking. This book has very easy to understand lessons, starting with syllables not syllabaries. Shows you in English what they’re trying to teach you in Japanese. So it’s almost like learning in parallel, I’m not explaining it well. It’s a really good book, you should just check it out.

4. Beginning Japanese by Yale University Press. This was originally my Dad’s book that he used to teach himself Japanese since he was being stationed there (way back in ye olden days). He very kindly gave it to me. This book also focuses on SPEAKING Japanese, not reading or writing in it. As such, it’s entirely in romaji! Not ideal, but if you just want to focus on speaking the language, this is a good place to start. Very thorough.

5. Reading Japanese by Yale University Press. Same authors as book #4, but not originally my Dad’s. Since this one is focused on READING (hence the title of the book), it is not in entirely in romaji. Whew! What a relief. I just got it today, so I have no feedback other than, I wanted both of these books together. It’s kind of like an entire course at your fingertips.

6. Japanese Kanji for Beginners by Tuttle. Covers JLPT N5 & N4. This is my primary Kanji workbook. I LOVE it. It’s set up pretty much the same as Kanji Power, it has exercises after each lesson so you can practice what you learned. The Kanji Power has the same things, but after a certain number of kanji have been introduced, instead of after each individual lesson. So they differ that way and in that they have different kanji. This book is specifically for JLPT N5/4 whereas Kanji Power is about expanding your kanji.

7. A Japanese Reader by Tuttle (notice the theme?). Pictures 2-4 are about this book. I cannot say enough nice things about this book! The book is split in two; open it like we open all books in the Western Hemisphere and it’s lessons starting with hiragana, open the book the other way and it’s all the reading lessons: from top to bottom and right to left! It’s so cool! The first few elementary readings aren’t actual sentences. They’re just to get you accustomed to the style of reading and the syllabaries (this is where I’m at). The readings get way more advanced though and are excerpts from Japanese literature, some fictional and some non-fictional.

8. A History of Japan. This is another one of Dad’s book that he is lending to me (sadly I don’t get to keep it). I haven’t read it yet but I’m looking forward to it. Granted, it has nothing to do with the language itself, but who here has learned a language without learning anything about the culture, history, and society of the country that speaks the language? Half the point of learning a language is to learn the history and culture of the target language’s country. So I have a book on Japan’s history to supplement the language learning.

9. A Dictionary of Japanese Food by Tuttle. Pictures 5 & 6 are of this book. Just as I stated in the above book, it’s important to know the culture and history of the place whose language you are learning. The “Japanese Kanji for Beginners” book had an exercise in the first lesson involving food. One of the dishes stood out to me because I had no clue what it was “shabu-shabu.” I still don’t know what it is, but now I have a dictionary so I can look it up! If ever I learn how to cook Japanese food, shabu-shabu will be very near the top of the list of things to make and try. The back of the book has some appendices on chopsticks, some ingredients of Japanese food, and food etiquette.

10. The Handbook of Japanese Verbs (picture 7). Verbs seem to be the guts of a sentence in Japanese so I figured it’d be important to learn them a little more in depth than my grammar book goes into. Besides explaining verbs, it has exercises to practice!

11. All About Particles (picture 8). Much like the verb book above, this is all about particles (another very important part of the Japanese language) and also has exercises to help you grasp the concepts. Goes in depth about the particles and actually has sentences in Japanese, literal translations, and English translations. It’s very thorough.

12. Japanese Coursebook by Living Language. Akin to the Yale University Press books that I covered earlier, this book is a complete course for learning how to SPEAK Japanese. As such, it is entirely in romaji but is set up different than the Yale books and has different vocabulary. I use them in conjunction with each other, so that I get the most vocabulary overall.

13. Japanese Grammar by Barron. Pictures 9 & 10 are of this book. This is my absolute favorite book out of them all. Besides being pocket-sized so I can take it just about anywhere with me, it’s a grammar book. I’m not a Grammar Nazi, I’m a Grammarian (one who studies grammar [on purpose]). I read grammar books for my native English and I greatly enjoy grammar for Ancient Greek too (my first foreign language and first true love). All the other books focus on a particular portion of grammar, or the writing system, or speaking. I wanted a book that focused entirely on grammar since I’ve heard it’s so vastly different from English (it’s not THAT different guys). As you can see in the very last picture, the book is printed in two colors. I cannot begin to express how wonderful this is for me. I have Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome (SSS or 3S) and basically what that means is, my eyes don’t work right (duh). They don’t pick up all the wavelengths of light that they’re supposed to. So some colors (and light sources) are harder for me to see and make me very sick trying to look at them. It seems like I have dyslexia but it’s not my brain, it’s just my eyes suck. The added color is much easier on my eyes than all black print on white pages (college was nightmare, in case you wondered).

Last book,

14. Kanji Starter 1. Not a lesson book at all! It has 200 kanji and is essentially a book of mnemonics for them. I use it as a catalog and mark the kanji I’ve mastered from other sources in this book. I also use it as a quick reference when I get suddenly forget a kanji I’ve already learned. That way I don’t have to find the right lesson book and track it down. I got this kanji book before any of the others and it served as the introduction to what i was getting myself into. It made the kanji seem so not scary that by the time I picked up a workbook, kanji was beautiful, logical, and fun. No fear!

Sorry this was so long. I’m on a mobile device so I can’t do the nice “keep reading” breaks or formatting. So it’s just a really long, darn post. But now you know of 14 books you can use for Japanese learning! Also, quick note, all of the books with bar code stickers on them were all purchased form the same site.

ThriftBooks.com has so many books, including rare ones, old, ones, and textbooks, for a fraction of the price. I looked up some of my Tuttle books, one of them was like $19.95 normally (without shipping and tax). On ThriftBooks I got it for $3.50! If your total purchase is over $10 shipping is entirely free too. So if you’re looking for language resources, a new novel, or you’re in college and need textbooks, check the site out because it might save you a boat-load of money.

anonymous asked:

would you ever do a gif tutorial?

of course!!! the main things you need are:

  • photoshop
  • patience
  • access to youtube and a video converter website OR other way you like to download videos 

everything is below the cut!! let’s get started!

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Valentines Day

In which Harry surprises his lovely girlfriend with an interesting game on Valentines Day.

A/N: Well! I kept you waiting long enough but it’s finally here, and just in time.  I hope you’ve all had a lovely Valentines Day! xx

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Again & Again

Episode 12x6 in the eyes of the reader.

A/N: This season continuously hits me with MOM feels over and over again, and as soon as the episode was over, I had to write about it. I just want to hug Dean and Sam and tell them everything will be okay. I do not hate Mary and I do understand her position, so please do not take this as me disliking her. There are spoilers of 12x06 in this, so please don’t read any further if you don’t want it to be spoiled. Let me know what you think! ♥

Word Count: 1,745

*This is for @kittenofdoomage Classic Movie Quote Challenge, and my quote was ‘Why so serious?’ from The Dark Knight.

Warnings:
- angst.
- language.

Tags: (at the end)

*gifs are not mine.

She’d shown up again, their mother. Or at least, the ghost of what she once was. When she was around Sam and Dean were both more flighty, harder to read than normal. It was maddening. She was everything to them, and a complete stranger to you.

When she first left, you hated her; her leaving throwing Dean down a spiraling path he hadn’t traveled in a long time. Sam, he understood. He tried to explain to you in the best ways he could that she needed space. But Dean struggled, and it damn near broke your heart. How could you try to love and understand someone who wanted nothing to do with the man you loved? Her son.

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2

—Neymar Imagine: Good Intentions—

“Calm down!” my friend yelled over the phone.

“I can’t Julia! I don’t know what’s going on?” I replied, scrolling frantically through my boyfriend’s Instagram for evidence to confirm his infidelity.

“Exactly,” she bit out. “You don’t know what’s going on. So before you start assuming things why don’t you just ask him about it?”

I laughed. “Ask him?” I asked rhetorically. “I can’t just ask him!”

There was a long pause over the phone and before I went to speak to break the silence, Julia cut me off. “Why can’t you talk to him about this y/n? You sound ridiculous. I mean, isn’t that what couples do in relationships? Talk about things?”

“But this is me accusing him of being unfaithful,” I replied. “I don’t know how he’d respond to that. There has to be an easier way to figure this out.”

“Easy… as in talking to him,” she insinuated.

I rolled my eyes aggressively. “Sometimes talking about things isn’t the easiest way Julia.”

“What did he even do?” she asked, ignoring my response.

“He’s been hanging out with that Sportscaster a lot lately,” I replied. “I feel like every time I talk to him, he’s with her and when he’s not hanging out with her, he’s being interviewed by her. It doesn’t help that he hasn’t been home much, and when he is, he’s quiet. It’s like he doesn’t seem romantically interested in me anymore, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s the reason for it all.”

I heard her let out a breath of frustration on the other end of the phone. “I think you’re overthinking the situation.”

“So you expect me to believe his change in behavior is merely a coincidence?”

“They were friends growing up y/n. Neymar has been in the spotlight a lot lately with winning gold at the Olympics and playing for the World Cup qualifiers! She just so happens to be covering it because she’s a Sportscaster, a very successful Sportscaster. They cross paths professionally and keep in touch personally. Yes, you’re overthinking it,” she said, trying to calm me.

“I don’t know Julia. I don’t think…”

The door slamming cut me off mid-sentence. “I think he’s here. Text you later.”

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10

I get asked a lot about what books I use as reference, and what books I would recommend to someone interested in sewing or historical fashion. So here are all the books I own that relate to that, along with very short reviews of each one. The titles are listed in the photo descriptions!

Before I get into it though, my major source of inspiration is pinterest. I love it.

Corsets and Crinolines: Fantastic book. It has a nice mixture of writing, photos, and patterns. The writing isn’t gripping but contains a lot of valuable information and is very detailed about the changes in silhouette throughout the years. 

Patterns of Fashion: All of these have the same format. They start with an overview of a specific time period, which is paired with pattern plates and photos. The second half of the book has detailed patterns and illustrations of the finished product. They have lots of notes on how to assemble them and the grid system makes it very easy to create full scale versions!

20,000 years of fashion: Definitely a wordy read. I must admit I haven’t had this book long, nor have I scoured every chapter of it. But it seems to be a very good book and the information in it truly does live up to the title. It also has a lot of pictures, which makes it nice for inspiration!

The Complete History of Costume and Fashion: If you like accurate information and want to learn things from a book, don’t buy this. Reading it is equal parts frustrating and comical. If you have any knowledge on historical fashion you’ll see how wrong this book is in dozens of cases. However it has lots of nicely printed photos, so it’s a good inspiration book to flip through. 

The Tudor Tailor: I’m not very impressed by this. The patterns included seem to lack the exaggerated features from the time period and the finished products don’t match the reference images scattered throughout the first half of this book. However the write ups on choosing textiles and constructing the garments are helpful. The writer clearly very educated on tudor fashion, I just wish the patterns lived up to the rest of the book!

Creating Historical Clothes: I haven’t attempted to make anything from this so I can’t vouch for it in that aspect. But from looking through it i’m really impressed by how well and quickly it explains the flat drafting process of bodices and sleeves. It translates those basic techniques into making historical patterns, which is really fantastic. It’s a bit confusing at points but i’m looking forward to using it!

The Art of Manipulating Fabric: A really interesting book that outlines how to use fabric in ways I would have never imagined. It covers basic things like gathering, godets, and pintucks, but also ventures into really neat techniques I’ve never heard of. Each technique is explained in text, along with a few simple diagrams. Photos of the finished products are included as well.

Complete Costume History: Probably my favorite inspiration book, ever. It has thousands of drawings that detail fashion from every period imaginable. Just keep in mind this book doesn’t have any information on the time and origin the illustrations are from, and it isn’t entirely accurate because the book was drawn and written in the 1800s. 

Tudor Costume and Fashion: Not really what I was expecting when it advertised thousands of fashion plates! This is a very wordy and I haven’t been committed enough to read through it just yet so I can’t comment on the writing. However it has many illustrations of the details of tudor clothing and accessories. I haven’t seen a book that goes so in depth about so many small things!

Women’s Hats: A great starting point if you have little/no knowledge about headwear. It has several pages of text and several drawings that detail headwear from each time period. But it offers very little information about the individual pieces so extra research is a must!

Patternmaking for Fashion: I’ve used this book for making pants and when struggling with fit issues. I can see why people love it, but it didn’t work for me. It over complicates things and is filled with errors of all sorts. They will reference “fig.5” when there are only two figures in that section, there are spelling errors, and things just missing in general. Which is ridiculous for any book, much less a 5th edition! It makes a challenging process even more difficult to understand and I don’t think it’s worth the price.

Fabric for Fashion: A nice swatch book for the beginner, and they did a good job considering how many different types of fabrics exist. If you don’t know jersey from chiffon, this will help you a lot and give a good point of reference to base things off of. BUT keep in mind that the quality and weight of fabrics can change drastically from manufacturer. The swatches represented here aren’t what /all/ fabrics with the same name will feel like.

That’s it! Sorry for the long posts. I’m hoping to get this, this, and this soon since i’ve heard good things…I just need to find less expensive copies haha!

Beneath My Wings

Pt. 2

Pt. 1 is here, requested by anon here and based on this imagine  from @imaginexhobbit, submitted by @thatkgrl:

Imagine Thranduil being transported to our world as an elfling & you’re the one who has to take care of him. Many Middle-earth years later after he goes back to Middle-earth, you’re part of the Company and get captured by the elves & when you’re brought before Thranduil, he gets very emotional in front of everyone and draws you into a tight hug because he missed you so much

Setting: Real world and Middle Earth, ten years after the last event of Pt. 1

Notes: Thanks to the anons + @queenofwands@allyallyally-oh for the encouragement || I don’t own “Wind Beneath My Wings

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For: @tbnfe13

(Merry Christmas!!

Reunion (Secret Santa 🎁)


Hanji Zoe was never one to care about looks. Practical and comfortable clothes were her thing, no need for dresses or skirts, as they would only get dirty. As a park ranger, she always on the hiking trails, giving tours, stopping the “accidental” out of season hunter, or tracking local fauna. Being surrounded by nature was Hanji’s true calling.

Donning her glasses, Hanji checked herself in the mirror.
“Looking good!”
She styled her hair into a messy updo, “Now I’m ready.”
Hanji grabbed her keys, before feeding her pet.
“Behave my little Bean, and I’ll promise I’ll give you a surprise.”
The iguana’s tail slightly twitched.
“That’s my boy!”
Somewhere in her cluttered house a clock rang out, the muted strikes making Hanji panic.
“I’m late and I have a meeting today! Bye Bean!”

If someone had ever told Levi Ackerman he would become a high school speech teacher, he would have probably popped their tires and siphoned their gas from the car. But fate had its own plans, and here he was waiting for the bell to ring. Taking a sip from his coffee mug, he skimmed over his class roster and nodded to himself.
“Alright, the bell has rung so I want you all in your seats.”
His steely blue eyes glazed over the anxious students faces as they all took their seats, “Very well. Let’s begin.”
He set his mug down, straightened his roster and picked up a red pen, “Marco?”
No one answered.
“Marco?”
“Polo!”
Levi glanced up, “Who said that?”
The students all pointed to snickering boy. Levi walked up to the boy and set his hand down on his desk, “You think this is funny?”
The boy bit his lips and shook his head.
“So you’re a comedian? What’s your name?”
“Connie Springer, sir,” he stifled a laugh.
“Pringles?” Levi asked causing the other students to giggle.
“Well, thanks to Pringles, we are all going to begin today with a nice impromptu speech on our favorite hobbies. I want it to be two minutes long, no ‘ums’, 'like’ or uh’ or minus five points each time you use them.
The class groaned, some even turning to Connie.
"Don’t blame me, blame Pringles,” Levi said as he motioned for a shaking blond kid to step up to the front of the class.
“Thank you for volunteering, now begin.”

Hanji? Hanji Zoe? Is that you?“
Hanji turned at the sound of her name, she scanned the grocery store, her brown eyes meeting with the blue eyes of a petite woman.
"Rico?”
The two women wove through the crowds and pulled each other into a warm hug.
“My goodness, Hanji, it’s been forever!”
“I know! Look at you! Still looking as fit as ever!” Hanji said as the friends now stood facing each other.
“Thank you. And what’s up the whole walking traffic cone get up?”
“Oh!” Hanji blushed, bringing her left hand to the back of her head, “This is my uniform.”
“As traffic director?” Rico asked.
“No, as park ranger!”
“Really? Hey do you think you get me discount on the tickets? I’m taking my history class for a field trip next month.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Rico stepped aside to let a couple pass, “Hey are you going to the reunion next week?”
Hanji’s eyebrows furrowed, “There’s a reunion next week?”
“Yeah, the invitations were sent out like a month ago. Didn’t you get them?”
“No…I’m not sure.”
Rico smiled, “No worries, I’ll talk to party committee. Hey do you want to go get coffee tomorrow?”
Hanji nodded, “I’d love too.”

It was Friday, Levi’s favorite day of the week.
“I saw Hanji a few days ago.”
Levi’s ears pricked at the word “Hanji”. He stopped stirring his coffee and slowly turned around to see Rico, a history teacher, and Moblit, a kindergarten teacher, talking together.
“Really? How is she?” Moblit exclaimed.
“She’s doing great! She’s engaged apparently.”
Levi choked on his coffee and began to cough loudly, pounding on his chest. The hot drink burning his throat.
“Four eyes is engaged? Since when?!”
Rico and Moblit looked at Levi unsure what to say.
“Yes,” Rico slowly said, “She met him during one of her hiking excursions. They’ve been together for about three years.”
Moblit cleared his throat, “Is she coming to the reunion?”
“She lost the invitation.”
“Typical,” Levi muttered.
“Actually, Levi, do you think you can send her another one? She just can’t miss it. It’s been ten years already.”
Rico resumed talking to Moblit, ignoring Levi.
Levi dumped his coffee into the sink and quickly washed his mug. He left the teacher’s lounge without saying a word.
“Rico, do you think that after all these years, he still has-”
“Feelings? No. I don’t think so. He may feel jealous though.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“Trust me Moblit, jealousy and love are too different things.”

Hanji spent the entire weekend cleaning her house from top to bottom. The invitation had to be here somewhere. There tucked in one of her desk drawers, was the reunion invitation.
“Found it Bean!” She exclaimed as she clutched an envelope with her name beautifully written across it.
She huffed, making her bangs fly out of her eyes, “Levi must have written this.”
Her fingers traced over her name. Hanji always found it funny how a man so coarse and rough had the most elegant penmanship.
Careful as ever she began to open the envelope. Suddenly the door bell rang causing her hand to jerk forward and tear the envelope.
“Fantastic,” she grumbled.
She shoved the envelope into her jean’s pocket and went to answer the door.
“Yes?” She asked swinging the door open. There stood Levi Ackerman on her front steps with a heavy scowl on his face.
Even though it’s had been years since she had seen Levi, her heart began pounding against her chest. He always looked good in his black leather jacket.
“Do you know how damn hard it was finding your stupid house?” Levi asked, annoyance coating his words.
“Umm…”
Hanji couldn’t form any words, “Sorry…no?”
“Freaking hard! Who the hell lives so far away from the city? And why are dressed like a traffic cone?”
Levi moved passed her entered her home, leaving Hanji slightly confused.
She closed the door and followed Levi into her kitchen.
“Do you want water? Tea?”
Levi shook his head, “Look i just came to deliver this,” he held out his hand, “Rico, said you never got yours.”
Hanji blushed, “Um, yeah, thanks.” She took the invitation from his hand, their fingers brushing past each other’s. Hanji looked away as she set it down on her counter.
“Thanks.”
As Hanji found the right words to say, Levi looked around for any clues of her engagement, anything that signified she was taken. Bingo.
A lone black coat was draped across a chair. It didn’t match her style nor her house decorations. But he didn’t notice how Hanji was looking at him. He’s distracted, Hanji thought, admiring his side profile. “He hasn’t changed one bit.
"Before I go, why are dressed like that?”
Hanji was brought back to reality, “I’m a park ranger. This is my uniform.”
“Are you sure an orange jacket, a yellow, and khaki pants don’t scare away animals?”
“It’s so I’m found quickly during emergencies.”
“Sure.”
His eyes met with Hanji’s and he was about to ask her about her engagement when his phone rang.
“Shit, I have to pick up Petra from the airport,” he pulled his phone out of his pocket, “I have to go, I’ll see myself out. See you next week Four Eyes.”
With a weary heart, Hanji followed Levi, saw him leave, and proceeded lock her door.
“Right…he’s with her.”
Dragging her feet, she plopped down on her sofa. She took a deep breath. Levi’s cologne still lingered in the house and it smelled good…or was she smelling the cleaning products she used?
Hanji rubbed her face and pulled out the crumpled invitation and began to read it.
“You’re cordially invited…blah blah…ten year reunion…blah blah…next Saturday evening at the school gym…. Formal attire?!”
Hanji jumped up from the sofa, “Shit, shit, shit! I have nothing to wear that’s formal! Bean! I’m going out!”

Hanji sat inside her car waiting outside the school parking lot debating whether or not to go inside. She saw one of her old friends and took a deep breath. It was now or never.

After a few drinks, Hanji had relaxed. She had found out Mike and Nanaba were married, Erwin had become a top military general (two things that were of no great surprise to her).
“So, where’s the fiancé?” Rico asked as she sat down beside Hanji. Hanji turned red and looked at Rico and the people at her table.
“Uh, he couldn’t come tonight. He’s too busy with work.”
Rico smiled mischievously, “Do you have a picture of him?”
Hanji blushed, “Yeah, but I left my phone in the car, let me go and get it.”
She excused herself and headed out, her heart beating loudly. Her little white lie had gone out of proportion. The loud music was making her head hurt, all the couple dancing, made her stomach twist into knots as bad memories flooded into her mind. Hanji pushed the gym door and stepped outside into the cool fall night.
“You haven’t changed one bit haven’t you Four Eyes.”
Hanji jumped at the sound of Levi’s voice.
Levi tossed his cigarette to the floor and stepped on it.
“You’re still wearing suits and ties to formal events.”
“Oh, yeah..I hate wearing dresses to events.”
Levi smiled softly, “I figured.”
“So, Moblit told me you’re teaching here.”
“Yeah,” Levi nodded, running his hand through his black hair, “I teach a speech class. Bunch of nervous wrecks.”
Hanji leaned against the brick wall, “I can’t see you teaching a speech class, let alone teaching.”
Levi rolled his eyes, “Thanks.”
They stood in silence, the loud upbeat music changing into a slower tempo.
“You remember when you asked me out to the winter dance?”
Hanji looked up at the moon, “Yeah. You said yes but then ditched me mid dance.”
Levi stuffed his hands into his pockets, “Can I fix that?”
Hanji glanced at Levi, “What do mean?”
“Shit, Four Eyes, I know you’re blind, but can’t you hear? I said can fix that?”
Hanji straightened herself and took Levi’s hand into hers. As he held her close, Hanji couldn’t help but ask Levi if he was seeing someone.
“So you and Petra…are together?”
“What the hell? No!”
“But the other day you-”
“She asked me to pick her up from the airport! Her stupid boyfriend is stuck in the hospital. He hit his face and is getting stitches.”
“Damn…poor guy.”
The two slowly swayed to the faint music, Levi realizing this would be his last dance with Hanji.
“So when’s the wedding?”
Hanji pulled away from Levi, “The what?!”
“The wedding with your perfect fiancé.”
Hanji let out a deep laugh, “Oh God, I lied to Rico. She kept pestering me about my romantic life and I made up a guy and a name. I’m single-”
Hanji was cut off as Levi dipped her and placed his lips against hers.
Hanji closed her eyes and cupped his face, kissing him back.
As they slowly pulled away, Hanji straightened herself, but kept her hands on Levi’s face.
“What the hell was that for?”
“I wanted you to shut up. And I owed you a kiss.”
“Ten years too late, Ackerman.”
“I was worried that was going to happen, so my plan was to just kiss you goodbye.”
“And since when are so freaking romantic? You ditched me to go dance with another girl all those years back! You left me as a fool with a broken heart that night! And when I saw you at my door last week I realized I still loved you, and now this?!”
Levi sighed, “I know. I am sorry. Believe me, that night still haunts me, I’ve felt like an idiot all these years. But, when I heard Rico say you’re we’re engaged I thought I had lost you and then I saw a black coat and-”
“Black coat?”
“At your house.”
“Levi, you pint sized idiot, that’s yours. It’s been at my place all these years. You left it in my car, my God you are stupid.”
Levi rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”
Hanji placed a kiss on his forehead, “Let’s go back inside, Moblit was telling me how you torture the kids in your class.”
“And what, I can’t tell you that in person?”
“I’ve missed Moblit.”
Hanji took Levi’s hand into hers, “Or, we can go get a drink. There’s like a ten year gap in our lives.”
Levi smiled, “That’s a much better idea.”
“You have your ID right? You look like kid.”
“Screw you Hanji.”
She laughed as they walked past the gym’s windows.
“I told you they still had feelings for each other,” Moblit said as he elbowed Rico.
“Pay up,” Erwin echoed as he held out his hand to Rico.

GTA: The Street Racer

Originally posted by jayfatuasian

4th part of the Gta series Au based off of (this post) by @jgguks. Hobi, Jimin, Yoongi, and now Jungkook. I spelled his name about 18902 different ways.

warnings: not many actually but still, violence, drugs, but not as heavy as the others

word count: 2400 

a/n: my mistake…taehyung is tomorrow…the hustler - fox 

Drive.

That’s all Jungkook was told when Namjoon shoved him into what used to be a death trap rusted through but was now a sleek machine. Namjoon had fixed her up with Jungkook’s help, taking care into the late nights to teach Jungkook everything there was about engines and valves to lead up to this.

To just drive.

Keep reading

Two favorite men

Word count: 724

Pairing: Dean X OC

Warnings: Pure fluff

A/N: This is for a beautiful and wonderful lady, @charliebradbury1104. Happy birthday Elizabeth! I love you so much and your lovely boy too. I hope you like this, sweetheart! Thank you for being an amazing friend and I hope your day is really special!

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

“I don’t think he remembers, Sam,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Of course he does Lizzy,” Sam winked at you and you smiled in spite of yourself. You loved it when Sam called you that because it was his way of showing affection, to let you know that you were a part of his family.

“He went to bed early last night and didn’t even wish me when we woke up at 4,” you sighed.

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Baby Girl pleases all her Daddies - 5SOS smut

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Request : I know requests are closed but when they’re open again you should do all 4 of them in a daddy smut ;) loved the cashton and muke ones xx

Author’s intro note : It was so sweetly asked honestly <3 And to be honest I had it in mind when writing the Muke part lol. Leave feedback please and enjoy the story! Part 1 & 2 are in the masterlist (Bio or URL/masterlist)

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As all good things do, holidays were now coming to an end. Time had flown so fast that I feel like I’ve barely seen any of London, or much of the lads for that matter. We were spending our last evening together , having decided for a pizza night in rather than a clubbing night out, for if they were all well accustomed to their new status of super-stars, I was not so keen on being the girl with 5sos, or that ‘fucking bitch’. Loads of people had a hard time understanding the concept of the boys being off-duty. In most jobs you start at a given time, finish at a given time and have paid holidays. But whoever set these rules forgot to say they absolutely don’t apply to anyone remotely famous.

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Whenever You’re Ready - Pt. 1

Author: deanwinchester-af

Pairings: Dean x Caroline [OFC]

Words: 1.4k +

Warnings: Pregnancy. A bit of angst. Fluff?

Beta: By the awesome @blacktithe7 ! Thank you so much. 

A/N: Day One of 12 Days of Christmas Challenge hosted by @waywardlullabies​! I really love this series and I hope y’all love it as well. Please don’t forget to leave feedback? Xoxoxo.

Whenever You’re Ready | Masterlist

Prompt: Wreaths + Fuzzy Socks
Tittle: It’s never too late for Christmas.

THANKS FOR READING AND ENJOY♥

Oh Valentine’s Day. The perfect occasion to prove your affection to your partner, lover,  friend, or family. Most single women would mourn their lonely souls on this night. Repeating pathetic rituals like eating their weights in ice cream or blurring their internal suffers into social media. If they were subtle enough; just posting ‘I don’t need a man’ memes. It didn’t matter the creativity of the individuals. Most of their posts, shouts, or pictures would demonstrate how much they hated their ex or non existent lover.  But that’s just a percentage of the female population of course. Then there is the other side of the coin; the ones that didn’t care about the overrated holiday. Caroline was part of that half, and might be the president of this non-caring woman club. With only one goal for tonight; have fun with her friends and new man for the night. She wasn’t a slut though. Caroline always had the highest caliber for whom those she sleeps with. “He needs to be handsome, funny, and sexy as hell” Caroline would always tell her friends.

The night of February 14th, she and her best friend Bonnie would captivate  their possible catches for the night or maybe, if they were lucky enough, for a lifetime. Like any other night, Caroline’s hunt didn’t lasted long. Thirty minutes into the bar and she already had one extremely handsome man by her side. Not any normal man though. Caroline had found the male version of herself, Dean Winchester. He wasn’t looking for love but he felt it a spark inside him when his green eyes locked with Caroline’s.

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Surprise

Title: Surprise

Pairing: Reader x Cas

Word Count: 1,482

Theme song: Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson

Request: anonymous asked - Hello sweetie! Could you make a one shot where Castiel and reader talking about everything and nothing? (like in your “First Kiss” one shot. That was amazing by the way). And of course something happened. (good or bad whatever you want). And it would be awesome if they were a couple already. Or whatever - I just love your writing and ideas so I’m reading everything :D. Thank you:)

Request: theriddlersgirl asked - I have to say I LOVED the babysitting series! And they had to be one of the best I’ve ever read including a young reader. But I also wanted to request a Cas one shot where the reader and Cas have been together for a while but they’ve kept it secret. And Sam, Dean, Crowley, and maybe a few other people find out when the all catch them kissing in the bunkers library because they all wanted to surprise Y/N for her birthday. Thanks I adore your writing!

A/N: Thank you both very much for your lovely words! You all voted and Castiel fluff it is! New poll up on main page now for the next imagine!

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Your name: submit What is this?

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Cas trailed his long fingers over your jawline lightly and down to your collarbone before making his way back up again, creating a little pattern on your skin.

“And what about the last supper? Were you around for that?” you asked. You were laying on your side in bed, lying on top of your covers facing Cas.

“I was alive, yes. But I was halfway around the world that night performing small miracles. I heard the food wasn’t anything special anyway,” he said dryly.

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