the tj show

5

I have no idea where these hands came from. Not my hands, mine are paws. They’re not your mother’s either. I’m not sure who they belong to. I remember that first year in the White House was the worst year of my life. Everything I always dreamed of, the job I coveted ever since I was a young man,I finally had it, and I was miserable as hell. A fourth of my term had passed and I hadn’t accomplished a single thing I’d set out to do. And I used to walk the halls and I’d stare up at the faces of my predecessors and I’d think to myself, “Every one of them is a better man than me.” And then one night, out of the East Room, I hear this most glorious sound. I poked my head in, and there you are, eight years old, playing some kind of classical piece so effortlessly. You turned around when you heard me and you let out a crazy laugh and you went skipping off down the hallway. And after that I used to hide around the corner from the East Room just to listen to you play. Something so simple, but brought me so much peace. And I don’t know why I never told you that. These hands… they’re not my hands, TJ, they’re yours.

A Guide to Break Ups ...

by Congressman Sean Reeves (Political Animals)

Step 1. Marginalize one of their most painful life experiences.

Step 2. Forcefully reject any attempt on their part to make you feel better or touch you.

Step 3. Insist the entire relationship was nothing but sex. There was no emotional attachment on your part.

Step 4. Insist that even the sex was repulsive.

Step 5. Tell them that they are nothing but a joke. Self worth is highly overrated anyway. They don’t need any.

Step 6. In case Step 5 missed it point, reiterate that they aren’t good enough. You want more than they can ever offer.

Personally, at the end of this, I wanted the congressman’s balls on a platter. Unfortunately, we can’t always get what we want.

@steverogersnotebook @onceuponardj @writersblockstanfever @marvel-at-stucky @lbarrsxs  @sebastianstanchrisevansuniverses@f0r-the-l0ve-0f-marvel-men@marvelmistress2015

Hotel Valhalla Headcanons Pt. 1
  • One day, Alex and Jack got the idea to pull a prank on Magnus where every time he walked into a room all day ‘Here Comes The Sun’ would play on the hotel speakers.
  • Magnus makes good pancakes
  • When she’s feeling especially down or stressed, Alex will turn into a cat and hop into Magnus’s lap so he can pet her.
  • He knows she feels better when she turns into a cheetah and uses him as a launching point for sprinting out of the room.
  • Sam will occasionally have ‘girl talks’ with Alex where they do each-others nails and Alex braids her hair.
  • List of who can sing from best to worst:
    -Magnus
    -TJ
    -Sam
    -Mallory
    -Alex
    -Halfborn
    -Jack
  • When TJ found out Beyonce existed… everyone Knew.
  • Alex got TJ into anime by showing him Food Wars.
  • Floor 19 has movie nights in Magnus’s room because the only movie nights the hotel has are to the death and his room is the cleanest.
  • Halfborn really likes bears and has an assortment of stuffed black, honey, grizzly, polar, and brown bears hoarded in his closet.
  • and those are just the types of bear that actually exist.
  • Jack once tried to pick up origami
  • Hearthstone and Blitzen visited Magnus on his birthday as a surprise and he cried
  • he denies it, but he totally cried
  • Magnus can sort of sew
  • Tj can actually sew
  • Alex takes lessons from Blitz and can sew circles around both of them
  • Halfborn and Mallory once tried to make a competition out of knitting
  • Nobody saw them for the next day and a half and now everyone on floor 19 has at least two hand knitted cozies of some kind and at least one sweater.
  • Tj and Alex started playing overwatch together and it’s slowly morphing into a floor-wide Overwatch party.
  • Tj mains Pharah, Alex mains Hanzo, Mallory mains Reaper, Halfborn mains Reinhart, and Magnus lowkey hates himself for maining Mercy.
  • Alex is banned from charades hotel-wide
  • Halfborn is banned from the yoga studio
  • Tj and Magnus once tried to get banned from someplace and the most they could manage was getting kicked out of the library.
  • Mallory sneaks into the places she’s banned from anyway.
  • Annabeth visited the hotel once and Magnus constantly stood no more than three feet away from her to make sure she wouldn’t get hit by a wayward spear.
  • Alex thought it was the most adorable thing he’d seen in his afterlife.
  • Mallory considered tossing her daggers in Annabeth’s direction just to see how Magnus would react and she was about to when Magnus was like “I’ll shove those daggers so far down your throat, you’re gonna need someone to disembowel you when you wake up to get them out.” without even turning in her direction.
  • Alex thought that was the hottest thing he’d seen in his afterlife.
  • Annabeth wrestled Halfborn to the ground and he was like ‘There is no way she’s related to you.’
  • One time Tj visited the Chase Space and started helping one kid with their history homework.
  • They were studying Kazakhstan.
  • Magnus sent everyone handmade valentines.
  • Alex’s valentine was a flat heart made out of sun dried modeling clay with ‘You are awesome AF’ stamped into it plus a card he made himself with a little heartfelt note.
  • Mallory’s was a pair of sheaths for her knives with ‘Mack’ badly embroidered into them and a goofy card.
  • Tj’s was a bunch of Hershey’s kisses and some dog tags that said ‘Lover’ and ‘Fighter’ with a little heartfelt card.
  • Halfborn’s was such a huge teddy bear that Magnus had to have Blitz help him make it. The stuffing is lumpy and uneven and the button eyes are derpy as hell, and it is Halfborn’s favorite possession.
  • Sam’s was a cute card shaped like a lion with a verse from the Quran that he looked for for three days and a red lion flower he grew in his little garden.
  • Oh, Magnus totally has a garden in his little atrium.
  • Jack finally got that epic poem he’d been looking for as his valentine and Magnus has no idea where Jack put it.
  • Alex doesn’t share her music with people easily
  • Tj makes awful cinnamon rolls, but everyone eats them anyway because they can’t say no to him when he holds one out to them with those big sparkly eyes.

Pt 2