the title is sarcasm

Shit Abled People Say #287

“” If you KNOW that it’s a delusion then you’re faking it and it can’t be real “”

<sarcasm>oh thanks, didn’t realize you were a therapist / doctor.</sarcasm>

Dead Kennedys “Kill the Poor” b/w “In-Sight” 1980. Cherry Red Records. My mood for 80′s punk protest music has grown exponentially the closer the unfortunate inevitable approaches. “Kill the Poor,” its title dripping with caustic sarcasm, continues to reflect the hideous reality of our political climate. It was Dead Kennedys’ third single release and appeared on their debut album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables. It even charted in the UK, reaching #49 on the singles chart and #1 on the indie chart, in 1980. Ned Raggett from Allmusic writes about the track, “Biafra’s conflation of liberal complacency, conservative aggression, and societal ignorance is both pithy and memorable.” It’s been 37 years and seemingly nothing has changed. 

Efficiency and progress is ours once more
Now that we have the Neutron bomb
It’s nice and quick and clean and gets things done
Away with excess enemy
But no less value to property
No sense in war but perfect sense at home

The sun beams down on a brand new day
No more welfare tax to pay
Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light
Jobless millions whisked away
At last we have more room to play
All systems go to kill the poor tonight

Gonna kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

Behold the sparkle of champagne
The crime rate’s gone, feel free again
Oh, life’s a breeze with you, Miss Lily White
Jane Fonda on the screen today
Convinced the liberals it’s okay
So let’s get dressed and dance away the night

While they kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

Behold the sparkle of champagne
The crime rate’s gone, feel free again
Oh, life’s a breeze with you, Miss Lily White
Jane Fonda on the screen today
Convinced the liberals it’s okay
So let’s get dressed and dance away the night

While they kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

Anakin Skywalker - Short

Requested: Yes. ( Can you do the Reader being much shorter than Anakin and him always teasing her by holding her bridal style and piggyback style whenever she can’t reach something or just to tease her because she’s small and angry and he finds that extremly adorable? ) 

Prompt: The reader wants an apple but Anakin has put the fruit basket on the highest shelf in her apartment and he teases her by lifting her up onto his shoulders to help her reach it.

A/N: My titles are so clever aren’t they? Sarcasm intended. Anyways, I hope you like it! xx


You were struggling, attempting to reach an apple from the fruit basket which somehow happened to get on the highest shelf in your apartment. And by somehow, you meant Anakin. You knew it was his doing because he just loved to tease you about how short you were. You were a solid 5 foot tall which made it hard for you to reach a lot of things, hence your struggle right now. You were hungry, and determined to get your apple.

You groaned, staring up at the fruit basket helplessly before attempting to climb up onto one of the counters, struggling with that also. You were definitely going to confront whoever it was that created the layout for your apartment. It was incredibly stupid.

As you had one foot on the counter, attempting to pull yourself up with your other one, you heard a chuckle from behind you. “Are you struggling, my love?” You heard Anakin question teasingly. You quickly put both of your feet back on the ground and turned around to face him, your cheeks heated in embarrassment.

“Well maybe if you’d stop purposely putting the things I like on high shelves, I wouldn’t be.” You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest.

He chuckled again before moving closer to you. “Need some help?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, looking between you and the fruit basket. You could tell he was doing this on purpose. He was enjoying every moment of your suffering.

“Yes, so if you could just reach up and grab the-what are you doing?” You asked, cutting yourself off as Anakin suddenly picked you up, placing you on his shoulders so you were higher off the ground. “Must you do this? You know I hate it.”

“I know. That’s why I’m doing it.” You couldn’t see his face but you could practically hear the smirk in his voice. You slapped him on the head and he chuckled again. “Hey, just because you’re on my back doesn’t mean you can beat me up.”

You smirked. “You’re the one who put me on your back so therefore, I can do what I want.”

Anakin just shook his head, laughing to himself. “Just grab the fruit basket before I drop you.”

You glared down at him before reaching up, just barely being able to grab the basket before lowering it back down to the counter where it belonged. All this for an apple.

Anakin lowered you back to the ground before turning to face you, a grin on his face. “Are you satisfied now, milady?” He asked, reaching into the basket and taking an apple which he handed to you.

You tried to glare at him, but you weren’t able to stop the smile forming on your face. “Somewhat.” You said. “I wish you’d stop teasing me about how short I am. You know I hate it.”

He smiled before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “But I find your shortness to be rather adorable. Especially when you get all angry and defensive when I tease you about it. It’s cute.” He said, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead.

You rolled your eyes. “It is not. It makes me feel childish because I can’t reach anything. And you’re not helping my case by putting everything high up on purpose.” You said, taking a bite of the apple in your hand. 

“I told you, it’s because I find it cute. But if it bothers you that much, I’ll consider stopping.” He grinned, looking down at you.

You sat your apple down on the counter next you to before wrapping your arms around his neck. “Thank you.” You said, leaning in to kiss his him even though you knew he was lying and would just end up teasing you again. It always happened.

halesstiles  asked:

The good, the bad, and the derpy.

Hun you know this is already allllll Stiles. I am thinking there’s like a new Beacon Hills baddie of the week and of course the pack is trying to kill whatever it is. Stiles just stumbles along and almost gets himself killed in the process (Derek saves the day and his boo if you catch my drift). 

So “the derpy” in your title is just a bunch of Stiles sarcasm and jokes, plus some of that classic sterek-gets-awkwardly-together-at-the-end-but-its-cute. 


SEND ME FIC TITLES AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’D WRITE!

Shit Abled People Say #278

Me, with chronic bouts of physical anxiety symptoms: I haven’t been able to work in weeks, the nausea and dizziness has been so bad
Abled person: Can’t you just bring your laptop into bed with you??


<sarcasm>Because apparently just lying down fixes anxiety then we can just “work through it.”</sarcasm>

[NEWS] Yesung helps co-write & compose songs for his album!

With the release of Yesung’s Highlight Medley for his 1st solo album we came about the fact that he helped co-write and compose the lyrics for 3 songs on his album. While we already knew about his contribution with “Here I Am” and “Confession” we can now add “My Dear” to the list of songs he helped write the lyrics or composed for.

“My Dear” sounds like a promising song, it is a mellow and slow song and I can’t wait to hear the whole thing! I’d also like to be able to understand it and am really hating not haven’t mastered Korean by now…

“Confession” is one of the more fast paced songs form the album and is a song featuring ChanYeol from EXO. I get the feeling it will be a cheesy lovey-dovey song… I mean where did I even get the idea from! (Perhaps it was the title of the song?). Sarcasm aside, I am really looking forward to this song as well.

Source: winecoupe0137 | SJWORLD

Shit Abled People Say #125

“Obviously your fatigue is because you’re depressed. I know you said you’ve been tired for half a year with no relief, and that when you’re depressed it’s completely different, but it’s definitely because you’re depressed, and I’m totally not just saying that because I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Have you tried talk therapy? I know you just said that you’ve tried it many times before and it’s never done anything for you, but you should definitely try talk therapy.”

I :) hate :) all :) doctors :)

Scary Man On The Underground ~ Phan

Yay more one shots!! I apologise for the amazingly catchy title (note the sarcasm) anyway, I hope you like it, mah darlings… 

Warnings: sexual assault (nothing serious, I promise) and a few swear words (mainly fluff)

Word count: 1.156

“I am so tired.” Phil whined as he walked towards the underground with Dan. Dan chuckled and grabbed Phil’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Me too. But we’ll be home in a bit and we can cuddle and sleep.” Phil swung their intertwined hands back and forth and leaned into Dan slightly.

“Cuddles and sleep sound good. I can’t wait.” They reached the underground and quickly figured out where they had to go. The universe seemed to be on their side and they managed to catch the train right before it left. The carriage was empty except for one guy that looked about 50 years old, sitting at the far end.

The pair sat down and Phil laid his head on Dan’s shoulder. It was quite a long journey from the BBC studio to their apartment, and Dan being Dan, the younger one soon fell asleep to the rocking of the carriage, which meant Phil was left alone with his thoughts.

He took out his phone to play some crossy road, but quickly got bored. He managed to come up with some video ideas, which he typed out in a note, but ended up just staring ahead.

At some point he got the uncomfortable feeling someone was looking at him. He slowly turned his head to the side and his eyes widened when he saw the man that had previously been sitting at the far end was now only two seats away from him.

He shuffled a bit closer to Dan, but decided he was overreacting. Maybe the man just didn’t like sitting at the far end, maybe he wanted a bit more arm space or something like that. He relaxed a bit and even turned his head to smile at the man, who kindly smiled back. Phil felt at ease now.

But the man moved another seat, now sitting just one seat away from Phil. Phil shot him a confused look, but the man was on his phone. Cuddling a bit further into still sleeping Dan, Phil just hoped the tube journey wouldn’t take much longer.

Phil started getting actually scared when the man moved to the seat directly next to him. He had absolutely no reason to sit there, why would he sit there? He couldn’t just get up, Dan was asleep, his head resting on Phil’s shoulder.

“Uhm, excuse me sir?” Phil said warily. The man looked over at him.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” He asked, foul breath hitting Phil’s nostrils as the man spoke in his croaky, rude sounding voice.

“Kind of.” He answered, fiddling with his fingers and avoiding eye contact. He let out a squeak when the man put his hand on Phil’s knee, patting it a few times before letting it rest there.

Phil’s heart was about to burst out of his chest. He felt as if he couldn’t move, even though all he wanted right now was to get away. He swallowed thickly as the man’s hand squeezed his knee before moving further up his leg, now resting about halfway his thigh.

“C-could you, uhm…” Phil mumbled, avoiding eye contact when the man looked over to him. The man’s hand moved even further up Phil’s leg and started stroking circles on his inner thigh. Phil breathed heavily. Only Dan was allowed to touch him there, but now some scary, smelly, gross guy was touching him there and Phil didn’t know what to do.

“You like it don’t you?” The man whispered in his ear, his face dangerously close to Phil’s. Phil weakly shook his head. The man snorted. “You look like you’re enjoying it, fag.” Phil flinched slightly at the word.

“Hey,” A voice suddenly said next to Phil. “That’s my boyfriend, fuck-face.” Dan said angrily, swatting the man’s hand away and grasping Phil’s.

“I just wanted to tell him how pretty he is.” The man said with a smirk, clearly not planning on leaving anytime soon.

“He clearly doesn’t want your attention, now fuck off before I call the police!” Dan shouted, standing up and pulling Phil with him. The man threw his hands up in surrender, but kept smirking as he got out off the carriage once it stopped at the next station.

Once the man had left, Phil felt his knees go weak and he quickly sat back down. Dan crouched down in front of him and cupped Phil’s cheeks with his hands.

“Hey, are you okay, love? He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Phil released a shaky breath. He was only now starting to register what had happened and the adrenaline wore off, leaving him trembling all over. Rather than responding to Dan, a choked sob left Phil’s lips.

“Shh, you’re okay. I’m here. It’s okay.” Dan whispered, quickly wrapping his arms around the older boy. Phil buried his head in Dan’s shoulder as more sobs tumbled out of his mouth.

“I-I was s-so scared.” He mumbled through his tears. Dan moved to sit beside him and pulled him into his lap.
“I know Philly, I know. But you’re safe now, he’s gone, I promise.” He murmured into Phil’s messy hair, pressing a few kisses in his boyfriend’s neck. Phil let out another shaky sigh and wrapped his arms around Dan’s torso, curling his fingers into the fabric of his t shirt.

After a few minutes Phil relaxed in Dan’s arms, but remained seated in his lap. Dan smiled softly at the older one and presses a gentle kiss on his lips. Phil smiled into the kiss, before leaning back against Dan’s chest once again, his head resting on the younger boy’s shoulder.

They finally arrived at the right station and got of the tube. Dan held Phil’s hand tightly in his and kept him close by his side. The encounter with the scary man had made him realise how easy it would be to lose his Phil.

It was a short walk from the underground to their apartment. Soon they started the long ascend to their apartment. They hadn’t spoken on the way from the underground to home, neither of them felt the need to start a conversation. They entered their apartment and took of their coats and shoes.

“How about some cuddles, hm?” Dan said, wrapping his arms around Phil’s waist.

“Sounds good.” Phil mumbled into Dan’s shoulder, taking Dan’s hand in his once more and pulling him to the lounge. Dan lay down on the couch, watching Phil decide on what film to watch with a fond smile on his face. Phil put on the film and quickly made his way over to the couch to cuddle into Dan’s chest. Dan chuckled when he saw what film Phil had chosen.

“Snow white, you dork.” He said, but quickly pressed a kiss to Phil’s forehead to show him he didn’t mean it. Phil giggled and snuggled closer to Dan.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

———-

(more phanfics by me: X)

Ace Police Skills (open)

The young officer stood in front of the cafe, looking at it for a moment before walking in with a friendly smile. Someone had accidentally told him that this was were the revolutionaries met to discuss plans. Nicolas didn’t want to interrupt or spy, he merely wanted to observe and make sure that they weren’t planing on causing a disturbance in the near future. He blended in well enough with the others, being around their age and in civilian clothes. He sat in one of the outer chairs, not wanting to be too close to the main group, in case they asked him questions and he took too long to answer. He watched them, soon forgetting he was doing this for work and being more and more interested in their discussion. The cause behind the revolution seemed just, Nicolas just didn’t agree with their methods. He continued to sit though, listening.

Great start on 2016.

Insert heavy sarcasm in post title. I’ve come down with food poisoning, so I’ve been in bed all weekend. I think I might be able to get back on feet (metaphorically, anyway) to catch my first class tomorrow, but I’m wiped out as hell. Hope y’all are having a better 2016 than me so far.

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My brother sends a Hail Mary of a hammer towards a Capture Point and gets rewarded with surprised shock.

[I am pretty sure the title is suppose to be sarcasm]