the three minute universe

  • <p> <b>Some days:</b> <p/><b>Brain:</b> *whispering* You need to sleep it's prolly almost 2<p/><b>Me:</b> *looks at clock*<p/><b>Clock:</b> 11:53 PM<p/><b>Me:</b> *breaks out in immediate internal celebratory dance*<p/><b></b> *eagerly opens next four fanfics*<p/><b>Me:</b> *wakes up next morning with a gigantic headache after an hour of sleep*<p/><b>Other days:</b> <p/><b>Me:</b> *finishes extremely satisfactory angst-filled fluffy cliche* *absorbs fluff for three minutes and thanks universe for author's existence* *goes back to Ao3 and clicks on next fanfic*<p/><b>Me:</b> *accidentally sees the time*<p/><b>Clock:</b> 4:15 AM<p/><b>Me:</b> HOLY BRHJBGREHJBFWKJFNWEKLJFN KDJDDJKKL<p/><b></b> *FREAKS with jaw hanging open for two minutes* *quickly gets up, goes to bed*<p/><b>Me:</b> *continues reading fanfic on phone*<p/><b>Me:</b> *wakes up next morning with a gigantic headache after an hour of sleep*<p/></p>
5H stuck in a pitch black tightly packed room
  • Ally: Didn't anybody bring a light?
  • Camila: Oof! Who hit my stomach?
  • Lauren: Normani, at any other time I'd happy to have you breathing in my ear, but-
  • Normani: Lauren, I can't move my head! Somebody has a foot right in back of-- Dinah, is that you? Please move your foot.
  • Dinah: Love to, but somebody seems to be using my legs as a stepladder.
  • Ally: Look Dinah, all I'm trying to do is get into a position which can be beneficial for all of us. [tries to get on Dinah's shoulder]
  • Dinah: Shit Ally! That is my bad shoulder!
  • Ally: Sorry Dinah!
  • Lauren: Whose fucking hands are these roaming on my body?! You're trespassing on private property!
  • Dinah: Sorry Lauren!
  • Normani: Somebody's got an elbow up against my windpipe!
  • Camila: Sorry Normani. I was trying to free my arm-
  • Ally: Camila, I hate to ask this, but can you please scratch my nose?
10

@childofthewanderer and I went to the coffee shop today and this happened: 

Me: There are no good tables open.
Me: *creates a shitty sigil and slams my coffee on top of it*
Me: Caffeine, charge that shit.

@childofthewanderer: “Are you hexing people to get a good table?”

Me: “Noooo….I’m simply putting out a request to the universe.” 

15 Minutes later: Three tables empty at once.

I am the Queen of Half-Assed Sigil Magic, bow before me.

anonymous asked:

someone: "hey keith what time is i-" keith: "fuck you o'clock" lance: "keith do you know what time it is?" keith: "why yes i do its exactly 5:21 pm coordinated universal time and exactly one hour and fifty-three minutes before our date under the stars"

Sorry dictionary, but the term “baking” has a new definition. What we normally associate with sticking a combination of eggs, sugar, and flour in the oven has now become a new beauty trend fresh off Instagram. While it originated as a theater technique to flatter complexions under hot spotlights, it was later adopted by the drag set to create a feminine face shape and make concealer last longer where it matters most. Now, baking is finally getting the attention it deserves, all thanks to celebrity makeup artists and selfie queens singing its praises. We’ve created a step-by-step tutorial that makes baking a piece of cake—plus a visual guide courtesy of Huda Kattan of Huda Beauty. But first, it’s important to see whether baking is right for you. The overall result gives a full-coverage, matte finish—so if you’re a dewy loyalist, you might want to steer clear of the bakery. Normally, the technique is better suited for a photo studio than the street, but our guide is perfect for an everyday baked look that’s totally wearable. Let’s get started! JESSICA VELEZ

STEP ONE: With your foundation and contouring already completed, apply a concealer with a sheer-to-medium level of coverage to your Triangle of Light (a V-shaped area created from the inner corner of your eye to your nostril, and from your nostril to the other corner of your eye). tarte Amazonian Clay Waterproof 12-Hour Concealer and Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage are great options because they’re both emollient. Then, blend the concealer using a beautyblender.

STEP TWO: Apply a loose setting powder—NARS Light Reflecting Loose Setting Powder would be perfect—to the same area you applied the concealer using a fluffy brush such as the SEPHORA COLLECTION hakuho-do + Sephora PRO Large Teardrop Pointed Powder Brush (Otsubu), and let it sit on your skin for one to three minutes. While the shade of NARS’s powder is nearly universal, deeper skin tones could switch it up with a banana-hued powder, while fairer skin tones would benefit from a powder with pink or peach undertones. For medium skin tones, stick with a translucent powder.

STEP THREE: Using the same brush as in STEP TWO, dust away the remaining setting powder that wasn’t absorbed into the skin using a light, flicking motion. OPTIONAL: for more coverage, first dip your brush into a medium-to-full coverage complexion powder, such as Kat Von D Lock-It Powder Foundation, and then dust off the setting powder with the dipped brush. This creates an exchange and buildup of product.

STEP FOUR: Finish with a setting spray, like Urban Decay All Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray.

NOTE: To remove this buildup of product at the end of the day, we recommend a two-step cleansing routine. First, start with an oil or a balm. boscia Makeup-Breakup Cool Cleansing Oil and Clinique’s Take The Day Off Balm work wonders. Then, follow up with your favorite everyday cleanser.

SHOP ALL BAKING MAKEUP >

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NARS / Light Reflecting Loose Setting Powder
$36.00

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SEPHORA COLLECTION / Bright Future Gel Serum Concealer
$14.00

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Laura Mercier / Translucent Loose Setting Powder
$37.00

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beautyblender / the original beautyblender®
$20.00

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SEPHORA COLLECTION / Bright Set Loose Finishing Powder
$16.00

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NARS / Radiant Creamy Concealer
$29.00

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MAKE UP FOR EVER / Mist & Fix
$30.00

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tarte / Maracuja Creaseless Concealer
$25.00

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Urban Decay / All Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray
$30.00

It’s sort of poetic that Verity Willis, who can always tell when you’re lying and has existed in the Marvel universe for like THREE MINUTES, has the only realistic reaction to the destruction of the entire Marvel infrastructure and all but one Earth. 

[Loki: Agent of Asgard 16, 2015]

youtube

“Like much of America, I was raised having minimal to no interactions with the Deaf community and I didn’t give it a second thought. That is, until I took two years of American Sign Language (ASL) in high school and a full year of ASL at the University of Washington. While completing these classes, I discovered that there is a very strong and rich sense of community within Deaf culture.
Over the years, I have found myself troubled by how a group of people so large (approximately 1 in 20 people are deaf or hard of hearing) could play such a minor role in America with stereotypes continuously dampening their career aspects. When the opportunity presented itself to create a video aimed to educate hearing people about the Deaf person’s inequality, I took it.
I created the “Have We Cured Deafness?” video as part of a class project within my Master’s program (Communication Leadership) at the University of Washington. I designed this three-minute video to both set the stage for and be the first of a series that will further break down stereotypes that plague the Deaf community.
I hope you not only take the time to watch “Have We Cured Deafness?” but that you also do the due diligence of looking into Deaf culture and how we can improve our systems to better include these amazing people.
As stated in the video, I recommend StartASL.com to learn more about Deaf culture.’
Director - Jacob Christensen
Filming Assistant - Leigh Burmesch