the thought makes me want to vomit

6x01 “The Savior” complete thoughts

I want to make text posts about each episode as I watch, mostly for my own thoughts but if people like em whatever. Please note I do speculate, I don’t run off just facts I just ramble about what I think this is literally just me vomiting my thoughts so don’t eat me they’ll probably change as we go along.


Overall story arc: Well it’s kinda obvious Emma isn’t going to die. She’s the main character and doing that would mean ending the show which doesn’t make sense. That whole scene with her getting murdered doesn’t make allot of sense. Her family just stands there like a bunch of gawking dicks, no one tries to help or even calls her name. I subscribe to the  speculation it’s Emma fighting herself and her issues. Which would make the whole thing of Hyde and Jafar manipulating her even more interesting and clever.  I’ll be interested to see how much these villians (EQ, Hyde, Jafar and possibly Rumple) will work together to try and bring down the savior. Also really excited for Aladdin to turn up and for Emma to have an opportunity to be around another savior. I felt like this episode was kinda dark though, like just the mood of the entire thing from the moment Hyde turned up was heavy as fuck for me. I’m really missing the comic relief Killian brings I really hope we see some sassy Hook coming back I missed it in the last season.


Captain Swan: Omg Emma’s lying again… I just ahhhhh. I can see why she’s doing it, they just got back from the underworld but she just lied straight to his face like 3 times. And he CAN TELL HE AINT DUMB HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN ALIVE?!?  I understand that its practically a death sentence and it’s easy for me to stand on the outside and go ‘I would do this’. Personally I think she LOOKS extremely stressed, probably lacking in sleep and she went through some pretty serious grief before Killian came back. But her not telling ANYONE seems like a super bad idea. Partly because her shaking nearly got Regina killed and endangered the whole town if she haddn’t have gotten Hyde because of it. It’s not the same as when David lied, he was not wanting to take the focus off saving Henry and him not telling anyone didn’t endanger anyone else (except Hook when he was saving him). Emma keeping this DOES endanger other people, not directly but the people around her not knowing could turn into a serious problem. Killians not going to give up on her, I would bet if she gathered everyone around they would work out it was a trick. I just want to hug Killian I hated seeing his sad/hurt face again it reminded me of S3 when he was constantly getting burned and it makes my heart hurt. I have faith that their relationship is strong enough to survive this (obviously after the whole dark one thing and they have said they’re not going to break them up, suck it CS-antis) but Emma can’t keep doing this. In a relationship you need to compromise and Killian needs honestly from her, it’s quite obvious its a trait he holds in high regard. I just really want to see them working as a unit.  Emma’s lack of honestly creates a rift between her and the people she loves, so I hope it’s resolved by the end of this season I really want to see her develop past that. I’m not 100% sure if Killian knows she’s lying, I really couldn’t read his face at Grannys I think it could go either way. He is either trusting her and choosing to believer her. Or trusting that she has a good reason/he doesn’t want to push her and trusts she will tell him in her own time. But the writers have said Killian will react so how that will happen I don’t know. But it kinda sucked coz I couldn’t enjoy the nice little CS moments like that adorable kiss on the cheek as much because it just felt like Emma was being…well..fake..? She just got told she was gonna die and that clouded the whole thing. I just am tearing my hair out coz it feels like a repeat of her lying to him about Excalibur and that obviously hurt him very deeply. I want to see her make the CHOICE to tell him not get ratted out by someone like last time. I want to see them choose to be close and choose to be trusting. Not be forced into it by circumstance. For one to go to the other and say

‘We need to sort this out before it’s forced out, not because we have to. But because we want to.’

No relationship is perfect and obvious this is a problem that normal people would come across. But I feel like this is something that really needs to be sorted as it’s repeatedly created problems. Emmas come a heck of a long way but I just saw S3 Emma poking it’s head up, which is perfectly normal for anyone. Just frustrating to watch! We saw Hook completely revert while he was the dark one so characters going backwards isn’t new. I just hope this is dealt with this season. I love them both so much, hopefully this wont stay a secret for long


Other ships and friendships/bromances (Snowing, Rumbelle):

Rumbelle.…rough waters. I don’t really get to into Rumbelle coz I could literally talk for days about their relationship and the symbolism etc… but I will say that I really, really want Belle to become a stronger, more independent woman. I’m all for them being together if it’s healthy for them both. Which it isn’t at the moment coz Rumple’s being Rumple. I am so happy Belle took the warning from her son, she needs to start taking control of her own story and moving in to her own. And maybe we’ll see them together again, maybe we won’t. I don’t really have a preference aslong as it’s not just one big unhealthy mess.

Captain Chamring- What a handsome arresting couple ;)

Captain Cobra-That little hug in Emma’s dream was very sweet, I think we will see them grow closer outside of Henrys teenager moments which will be awesome

Belle and Hook- I WANT THIS FRIENDSHIP SO BADLY IT HURTS. They both really need a friend, and I loved seeing them together previously.

Regina and Emma- I liked how Emma told her what she needed to hear, evil didn’t make her strong. I don’t hate these two as friends, don’t like them either. Reginas just Regina sometimes but maybe we’ll see some different sides to her now the EQ is serperate.


Individual characters:

Regina: I’ve always held hope for Regina. She shits in her own bed allot (like when she got into a fight with Zelena right after they made up congrats you now have her and the Evil Queen against you) But I think people forget that acknowledging the damage and pain you’ve caused other people is a heavy burden. It has and likely will continue to take Regina a LONG time to come to terms with her sins. Denial is a coping mechanism, and if you’d done what Regina had, would you be able to face it all at once or in a quick fashion? Some people can never face their demons, so I’ll be interested to see what happens when she literally has to face them in the form of her evil half.

Morpheus: WELL. Charming has been bumped down to #3 on my good looking men of OUAT list. As soon as I saw the sneak peek I was excited. I love the greek gods. He messed with Rumple which was awesome and exactly what I wanted. I’m still not 100% sure though if he was actually Morpheus or just their son pretending to be Morpheus….? Not made entirely clear I’m hoping they’ll elaborate on how that worked coz I didn’t get the fact Morpheus was an adult and stuff. If I thought about it I could come up with something but yea. Hopefully there’s more adult Morpheus if that’s even a thing I don’t know what was that?!

Oracle girl: Obviously Jafar being a piece of shit. I’ve never even seen Aladdin but yea that’s defiantly him. What a fuck head but very cunning on both his and Hydes part. If he knows the ins-and-outs of a savior and can use that (with Hydes help) to manipulate Emma that’s a very powerful weapon. I just hope Emma doesn’t fall into it for to long.

Hyde: OML such a good villain! Just his character and the line delivery…great…fantastic no more words for it.

Don’t delete the pictures. Delete his messages and maybe even his number if it helps you move on, but don’t delete the pictures you took while with him. Trust me, in 20 years, you’ll want to remember the boy who broke your heart when you were sixteen. I know it makes you feel like you’re going to vomit when you see the twinkle in his blue eyes or the angle of his pronounced cheekbones. I know it kills you inside, but you will regret deleting them more than you will regret taking them in the first place. He will be a lesson to your kids or a boy-you-once-knew heartache or even a flitting memory you smile at when you page through old scrapbooks. He once made you happy, he once was one of the most important people in your life, and he once made you happier than you could’ve ever imagined. Don’t delete the pictures. You’ll thank yourself later.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write
I want to find someone who finds the same things as me, beautiful. I want to find someone who finds things beautiful, that I do not. I want them to open my eyes and I want to open theirs. I want to share things with them and I want them to share things with me. I want them to show me things I would never have done and I want to do the same for them. I want someone who makes me a better person everyday and I want to have the opportunity to grow with that person. Because isn’t that the point? To have someone that makes life achingly exciting and makes you want to live for a thousand more years? We’re fed so much negativity. I want to find someone who shows me life is beautiful and ugly and that it’s something worth sharing.

My thoughts on the first 3 chapters of Queen of Shadows:

-Dorian can’t even remember his name and he’s struggling to remain tethered to his true self. This makes me want to vomit blood and tears.

-“Aelin Ahsyrver Galathynius, heir of fire, beloved of Mala Light-Bringer, and rightful Queen of Terrasen…” now that is an impressive title. I may have been smiling like an idiot had I not just read Dorian’s POV a moment before.

-I had a mini panic attack when I thought she permanently dyed her hair but then I realized how unlikely that would be. Oops, haha.

-Straight to Arobynn, then? And what the hell was all that innuendo about?! It adds to his sadism, but I still think he’s just messing with her. He probably does feel for her in some way, but I’m still unsure if its 100% “lust” or otherwise. Aelin did mention never knowing whether he was trying to be a brother, lover, or father figure. And then he tries to compensate for aiding in Sam’s murder and her enslavement by saying “he’s changed?” Bullshitttt.

-WHAT. THE FUCK. CHAOL. Goddamn.

-Tern, you should know better than to screw with the queen.

-One word: ROWAN. Oh, gods. Every sentence connecting to him was like a really painful whiplash. “With the blood oath now eternally binding her to the Fae princeand him to herhis absence was like a phantom limb. She still felt that way, even when she had so much to do, even though missing her carranam was useless and he’d no doubt kick her ass for it.” I’m not crying. There’s just a massive fucking stick in my eye.

-Aelin curled up on a cot feeling numb because she lost her magic once passing through the invisible barrier made me more emotional than I would’ve thought. She just learned how to master this part of her, and now it’s been taken again (even if for a period of time) and that magic also reminded her of Rowan because he was the one who helped nurture it back to life.

-“…stranded in her human skin…” Two words: character development.

-I was clutching my pillow, waiting for Arobynn to finally tell Aelin what had happened to Dorian but then he goes on to inform her about HER FREAKING COUSIN AEDION ASHRYVER AND OH MY GODS I WASNT PREPARED. I. WAS. NOT. READY. And neither, would it seem, was Aelin. My eyes are still red and everything is numb. Not to mention, we now know that the king plans on executing him in 3 days?!?! No wonder Aelin agrees to ally with Arobynn for the time being. I would’ve too.

-Aedion is officially Aelin’s main priority and that makes me ridiculously happy and terrified because of what could happen if she’s not quick enough.

-Chaol had a female guard with him who was said to have shoulder length dark hair. My immediate thought was Nesyrn Faliq, the new QOS character SJM has been hinting about.

-If Arobynn gets his hands on one of the Valg like he requested of Aelin, does this mean that he intends to partake in the same “activities” as the king?

-Aelin Galathynius was ready for bloodshed.

-One last thing…“fire breathing bitch queen” oh my god.

TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD MOLESTATION


The thing about the whole Duggar situation is yes, I’m super mad at the hypocrisy of Josh’s actions based on his beliefs of people in the LGBTQ+ community. But what really makes me want to vomit is the thought of what those girls must have gone through for years. To have to live with your molester, with your parents protecting him, and all the while everyone is telling you about what a ‘good brother’ you have. I would go fucking insane. Plus, the way they were raised was to be 1.) Subservient to men meaning in their perception Josh had an authority over them making it harder for them to resist and 2.) The fact that the parents put so much emphasis on girls remaining pure and virginal would really increase the guilt and self-loathing that can come with that kind of trauma. And that’s what makes me want to cry over this. Even if you loathe the Duggars, empathize with the girls.

Sick

Pairing: Hamilsquad x reader

Prompt: First off, I LOVE your writing, you’re one of my favorite writers in the fandom. You make me wanna start my own imagine blog, even though I’m already a Hamilton writer on AO3. Second, I wanted to request a poly sick fic with Alex/Herc/Laf/John x reader that’s a lot of fluffy goodness please. Also, #southgotitmadeintheshade I’m from Tennessee homie! Neighbor states ftw

TW: Vomit mention, the reader is ill, allusions to Alex’s mom dying.

Word Count: 1662

~~~~

It’d started with a cough. An innocent, meaningless cough. One that you thought was just a tickle in your throat. It made Alex, and this was a rare occurrence mind you, look up from his laptop.

“Are you getting sick?” He looked ready to gather his things, and vacate the premises, should you answer that question with an affirmative. He didn’t deal well with illness.

“No, hon, relax.” You laughed a bit, shaking your head. “It was just a little cough. You know, like your body does natura-” You started coughing again, this time harder than the last, but you still felt fine. By the time it passed, Alex was already getting his things together.

“Well, I’m headed to the library, I’ll see you tonight, okay?” He said this so quickly, you almost didn’t catch any of it, out the door with his laptop before you could even respond. You pouted a bit. Rude.

It was about an hour later when you were still on the couch, curled up in a blanket. Maybe you were getting sick…you did feel more tired than usual… Alex, as he had said, was at the library, Hercules was making dinner, Lafayette was working on assignment, and your were currently curled to John’s side as you watched T.V. Well, not so much watch as blankly stare because you’re too tired to focus.

“Baby, you okay?” John asked after a while. “You’ve been so tired lately…and Alex told me he left when you started coughing.” He gently pressed his hand to your forehead, and you shied away from it.

“I’m fine, John, really.” You gave a tired smile, even as he continued to worry over you.

Before he could question you any further, Hercules entered with a bright grin, announcing that dinner was ready. You moved to the table with your boyfriends, only to find your plate covered in a smatter of spaghetti, and the tomato sauce it came with.

Your stomach gave a violet churn, and you decided that…maybe it was better that you not eat. “Actually,” You got their attention, watching as John paused where he was already eating, and Herc and Laf stopped the process of taking their seats. “I’m…going to go to bed, I’m not hungry, and I’m pretty tired…night.” You gave each of their cheeks a kiss, before moving to the bedroom you all shared, which was two bed pushed together to fit all five of you. You curled up in the middle, dragging the quilt Eliza and Herc made for your birthday behind you like a cloak. You bundled up.

You covered yourself up, stuffed your pillow beneath your head, and soon, you were fast asleep, unaware of the hell you were in for when you opened your eyes again.

~~~~

It was the middle of the night when you woke up again. You had to squint to make out the letters on the Alarm clock on Alex’s side. He slept closest to the nightstand on the right, and you couldn’t help noticing he was absent. Did he really want to avoid you that much?

However, you didn’t have much time to dwell on that, seeing how your stomach gave a painful lurch, and you began tearing yourself from John and Laf’s arms to get to the bathroom. You scrambled into the connected room, falling to your knees and holding the porcelain bowl as you started coughing and hacking up what little you’d had to eat the day previous.

You didn’t even realize anyone was up with you until you felt warm hands pulling back your hair from your face, keeping it out of the way and rubbing smooth circles into your back.

“It is alright, ma petite,” Laf cooed to you as you started calming, “let it all out.” You didn’t want to admit how much of a comfort it was, just hearing his voice, cooing to you while you went through this.

You slowly started to relax, dry heaves becoming hiccuped sobs as he pulled you back to let you rest in his lap, and look up at him.

“I-I’m sorry I woke you…” you sniffled weakly, letting him take a cool cloth to your heated, sticky skin. You felt disgusting, but, even like this, he still loved you, they all did.

“Non, it is alright, mon lapin.” He cooed, letting you curl up in his arms. “John is making tea, and Hercules is remaking the bed…don’t worry, you do not need to apologize.” he gave your forehead a kiss before pulling back worriedly.

“You’re so warm…” he murmured worriedly, cupping your cheek as he eased to his feet with you in his arms. “Come, ma petite, back to bed.” He cooed, making you curl into his protective arms.

You emerged to find Hercules waiting for you as well, arms outstretched, ready to accept you into them. Laf deposited you into them, and kissed your feverish forehead before leaving to see about John, and how the tea was coming in the kitchen.

You whined softly, hearing your phone buzzing on the nightstand. You hid your face, and let Hercules stroke your hair as he checked it for you. He gave a soft, deep chuckle, one that rumbled through your aching body rather pleasantly.

“Here…You may want to read this yourself.” He cooed, giving your head a peck. He’d turned down the brightness, as your early morning, hyper-sensitive eyes couldn’t stand the sudden light. An email? This early?

Ah, it was from Alex, no wonder.

‘My love, I’m sorry I left how I did earlier…and, given what illness has taken from me, I hope that you’ll understand my skittish nature…

This is not against you, never against you, I love you, each of you, more than anything else on this earth, but at this moment, I bet you need to hear just how much, right?’ You gave a sleepy smile, and tapped the attached document, as Hercules read over your head. He lightly rubbed your arm, and hummed to you softly.

A document, completely of the different ways and things he loved about you. The way you woke up in the mornings. How you had special pet names for each of them. He mentioned how his favorite of those was darling. How you kissed them all good bye in the mornings, whenever you had to leave. By the time you were done reading, tired as you were, there were tears in your eyes.

God…they loved you way too much for your own good. Even sick, and gross, and having already vomited once this morning, they loved you so much…

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong!?” John worried as he came back into the room, holding a tray with tea, soup, and crackers on it.

“Don’t cry, mon petit, we’re here.” Laf tried to comfort, not realizing the source of your tears was a good reason. It was only about five thirty in the morning, and here they were, fawning over you like mother hens…you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel good to be worried over…

“Laffy Taffy, John dear, don’t worry. It’s just Alex. He wrote them a poem, about how much he loves them.” He laughed softly. He had the best pet names… Herc sat you up, despite your whining that you wanted to relax in bed. The tray was placed in your lap, and you pouted, not feeling very good to eat. But you took the tea, and cradled it in your hands. It…felt good. The heat was nice, against your fever chilled body.

You took hesitant sips as your boyfriends kept talking over you. And you suspected it was about you, but you were way too tired to really focus on their words.

As you started slipping further, the tea was taken from your hands, and you were fed a cracker or two, just to get something in your body, before, finally, you were fast asleep.

~~~~

When you woke up again, it was past noon, and you were swaddled in so many blankets, you looked more like a cocoon, than a person. John was sitting in the desk chair, playing on his phone with his feet up. He did a double take as he saw you moving, and grinned.

“Awww, there you are, baby.” He cooed, reaching out to stroke the little bits of hair that stuck here and there from the blankets. “Sorry, you just kept shivering, and you needed to sweat this out anyway. How are you feeling?”

“Some better.” You murmured, smiling sleepily at him. “Where are the others?”

“Alex is crashed on the couch, Laf is in class, and Herc,” He paused for a sec, listening for the rhythmic sound of the machine in the next room. “Yeah, he’s sewing.” He smiled, and you smiled.

“Good…” You murmured, curling up a bit. This is just how you liked it. Your boys were all home…they may not have been right beside you, but you felt the love all around you. You wiggled yourself around with a pout, until finally, it seemed John felt sorry enough to help you sit up.

A moment later you were asking to watch a movie, and in a matter of minutes, he was curled around your blanket cocoon with you, while the both of you watched the intro to Aladdin. Herc’s sewing in the next room stopped, and he dashed in after hearing the opening to ‘One Jump Ahead.’ Laf sauntered in a moment later, and Alex came in a little while after, while the Genie was singing his song. They cuddled around you, and held you, and each other, while enjoying the movie. You got to see the most heartfelt rendition of A Whole New World, between Laf and John, and truly, you felt honored to witness that.

Sick or no, this was exactly how you wanted to spend your time. You’d have it no other way.

~~~~
Man, everything about this prompt was speaking my language!! Again, so, so sorry you guys that this is way later than usual. But I will either post another time tonight, or three times tomorrow, in order to keep on schedule. Thank you for the request, darling!!

Love, Rosalie

I lost Lilly on Wednesday.  Kidney failure.  She was nine years old.  I was not there with her; I had already left for San Diego.  My mother took her to the vet, and handled arrangements.  I did not get to say goodbye.

Please be gentle with me.  Please do not request admission to the Birthday for dead pets right now; I can’t handle it.  And please, please do not send me asks to say how sorry you are.  I genuinely appreciate the sentiment.  I am also dehydrated from sobbing, and the thought of needing to reply to those asks makes me want to vomit.

I am not okay.  I will be okay eventually, but it will take some time.

Please give me some time.

Give me something to hold on to because lately I’ve been emptier than the bottle of vodka underneath my mothers pillow
She says she’s not an alcoholic but other kids parents don’t show up to school half dressed
With whiskey hanging off their breath
Other kids parents don’t have a liquor store on speed dial
Other kids don’t clean up their mothers vomit off the carpet

Give me something to hold on to because lately I’ve been struggling to see why it’s worth getting up in the morning
When all I’m going to do is sit in math class imagining a bullet going through my brain
And painting my sorrows on the wall behind me
I can do that perfectly fine without ever seeing the floorboards

Give me something to hold on to because lately I’ve been missing him so much it’s hard to breath
And sometimes I get so delusional from the lack of air that I think he misses me too
I imagine him staring at the ceiling in agony at two in the morning whispering
“I fucked up. I need her.”

Give me something to hold on to
Or I might just let go.

—  Was that a life line or a noose you handed me?– Lily Rain
Creepypasta #824: The Voices, They Never Leave You

Length: Medium

I had them since I was a child, sometimes they seemed to come from the people around me, as if I could hear their thoughts; I’d shout at them, they’d look at me strangely and think I was mad.

I became so disruptive in school, my parents took me to the doctor who prescribed me so many different medications I can’t remember. Some made me feel so sick, some like a zombie. In the end, when the medication didn’t make me want to vomit or lose all my emotions, I pretended the voices were gone; I kept them to myself from then on.

It wasn’t until my teenage years that I realised I could actually hear people’s thoughts. Now that may sound like a gift, but it was a burden. I once stopped a girl committing suicide, however that just ended up with her in and out of psychiatric care. I’m not sure if she was better off now, or whether I should have let her do what she wanted in the first place.

Being out in public became an ordeal, so many different voices pushing past my own thoughts and taking center stage. It’s impossible to think. Walking down the street hearing what people’s first impressions are of me, what an ugly fuck - ha, fat bastardhe looks depressed - if I looked like that I’d kill myself

And my parents… Knowing what they really think of me. I couldn’t see them again, not after what I heard.

When I graduated high school, I drove my car. Just drove. Into the desert. With my graduation present from my parents, I put down the first two month’s rent on a house in the middle of nowhere. What bliss! No more voices. I took a part time job down at the hardware store.

Until a few weeks in, this man comes in looking shifty.

I like the look of that spade, looks damn sharp.

“Sharpest one we got,” I said out loud, before putting my hands to my mouth.

Puzzled he asked, “You know about these?”

“Course I do, it’s my job.”

“I’ll take it, and some of that duct tape.”

I’m going to enjoy this I heard, as he took his equipment and left. I ignored it, it wasn’t my business and I didn’t care. I’d gone past caring.

That night I awoken by a muffled sound. I got up and went to the kitchen to get a drink, but I could still hear it.

el - elp - help

My blood ran cold when I realised what it was. I thought back to the man, I could have stopped him.

I drove around looking for her, looking for some disturbed soil or something to indicate the ground had been touched.

I heard that woman’s screams and pleas for seven days before it… changed.

That was just the first of many. I cannot escape the voices. I’ve been trying to talk back, to comfort them, or maybe I’m just trying to comfort myself.

Credits to: ecrowe

READ ON FOR AN EXPLANATION BY THE AUTHOR: 

Keep reading

Everyone is going insane about this whole Caitlyn Jenner thing .. meanwhile I had no idea who she was .. until today. I thought it was some aunt or something like that and was just tied of the fact that , that family gets so much for having basically 0 talent. 
And then I saw this .. and now that family makes me want to vomit a little bit more.

TEXTS BETWEEN YOU AND HARRY #8

So this turned out way more intense than I thought. But it turned out exactly like how I think Harry would be as a needy, deprived husband missing his missus! Long text messages, some word vomit, and just very husband-y feels. Enjoy! This one’s extra long too to make up for the delay in getting through your requests. Let me know what you think here and if you’ve got any requests/prompts x 

Harry. The missus (Y/N).

Do you want to go for lunch with a certain handsome lad? I can be in your office in half an hour, tops xx

I can’t. I’m meeting the bestie for lunch. Promised her we’d catch-up today! Sorry sweetheart x

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever see you again.

You saw me this morning, babe. And yesterday. And the day before that. We live together, remember? I’m the girl that sleeps on the right side of the bed beside you every night x

You know what I mean…

Baby :( What’s this really about, hmm?

And how about when we start having babies, huh? Are you still going to be this busy that our kids won’t ever see you? Will you make your career a priority over our family?

Harry, what the fuck are you talking about? Kids? Babies? Where is this coming from? 

I just.. I feel like I never see you anymore. Like even when you’re there, it feels like you’re not. And I know you love your job, and I know how hard you work. Sometimes it just feels like I don’t fit in to your life at all. Like the past few days. You’ve been coming home late and then leaving early. I only ever see you before we go to bed. Or before you leave. And when you do go home early, you’re still doing work, checking emails, and all that. The only time we seem to be spending together lately is when we’re at events where we’re both ‘networking’. 

I thought you said me being hardworking and independent was one of the things you loved best about me.

And I do, baby. I do. Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud that my girl is such a powerful woman who does amazing work. I think I just really miss you. Like actually spending time together. Not in between both our jobs, or cuddling while we’re both on social media and still working.

Oh baby. I’m sorry. I had no idea you were feeling this way. I suppose it has been a bit mad lately, huh? I’ve been so busy with work that I didn’t even notice how much it’s taken over my life.

How do you do it?

Do what?

Cope with me being on tour and away so much. I mean, fuck, you’re not even in another place and I still see you everyday at least but I’m already going crazy! Being away from you sucks, but I think I’m only ever realising how hard it is now. I guess it’s because I’m the one that has to go away all the time, the one with the crazy schedule getting shifted from one place to another. Not that I don’t miss you then, but it’s just way more noticeable now that I’m in one place and every day is the same.

I guess that’s why I do it. Take my work home with me that it’s become a habit because when you’re away, I come home to an empty house. Maybe working makes me feel less lonely. Knowing that I can also keep myself occupied makes missing you a bit easier. Thinking about work, instead of focusing how your side of the bed is empty, or that we’re on different timezones and I can’t just go talk to you when I want. It’s the comfort of it.

I didn’t realise how hard it really is for you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re with someone who goes away regularly for a living.

Don’t you dare apologise for doing what you love and living your dream! Sure, it’s hard. But we make it work. And I’m sorry about this week, baby. I do love my job, but I also love having a life. Especially one with you in it.

Sorry for that little outburst, love. It just came out of me. I guess I have been feeling this way for a while now. But I shouldn’t have let it out through text, and while you’re at work too. I should’ve waited till we could talk.

No, no. It’s fine. I’m glad you told me now because I’m more aware of it. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Spending time with you matters to me more than whatever work I’m doing, okay? Please know that.

So do you have dinner plans tonight?

Yeah.

With my man ;) Let me take care of you tonight, baby. I’ll leave work a bit earlier and make us dinner.

Yum, but you don’t have to. I want to be the one to take care of you. Leave the dinner planning with me. You’ve had a busy week. Time to relax.

How about we make dinner together instead?

I like the sound of that. I can be in charge of dessert. I used to be a baker, you know.

Harry, literally everyone in the entire world knows you used to be a baker. But yes, I love the sound of that :) xx

It’s a deal then. Thank you for listening to me, baby. And sorry again for the outburst.

I’m sorry too. But I’m so excited for dinner now! I’ll finish work at around 4 today so I can make dinner earlier. See you tonight baby xx

Leave your car at work. I’ll pick you up at 4.

Okay :) Love you. You’re amazing.

Right back at you. I’m a lucky man.

:) x

And Harry? 

Hmm?

I’d totally give up work to stay home with our babies. Just making sure that’s clear. Building our future family is much more important to me than any career. I’d be full time yummy mummy to our kids xxxxx

 

HiddleSwift Anon One Shot

This was written by one of @my-achilles–heel‘s anons and I thought I’d make it into a post and share it with you guys. Anon who sent this if you want it taken down just ask and I will :)

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The little plus sign on the stick was almost a signal for my heart to drop and my head to spin. I also wanted to vomit more then anything. According to the research I had done in the last to days trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me and if THIS was a possibility morning sickness isn’t a thing until like 6 weeks I was maybe 4. The urge to throw my head over the toilet was most likely from the whole “you’ve been married for less then 6 months, your husband is currently God knows where shooting a movie, you’re about to start a world tour, and you’re pregnant” Tom wouldn’t be home for another week and I needed to tell someone but this isn’t something you tell someone over the phone. My mom was out the question, that’s something we wanted to do together. Also all my friends had become his friends and so I didn’t just want to tell them without him there. Tree. It would be a good idea to tell Tree. Give her some time to figure out how to deal with the media shit storm that would come our way. Since I was her only client and we were both currently in Nashville I could just shoot her a text. We arranged for her to come to my place as soon as she finished up responding to emails. With in an hour she was sitting on my couch drinking a cup of coffee witch my research told me led to low preterm labor and early birth wights so I drank water because also according to my research I need to be drinking a shit ton of water. 

“So what do you have for me this time swift? Wanna dye your hair blue? Or become an author, or are you knocked up? Seriously you can’t shock me anymore.”

“The third one.”

“Taylor, what did you just say?”

“I’m pregnant.” She was quite for a little while and then it all clicked.

“Okay so it’s like August and you’re what like 4 weeks?”

“Somewhere around there yeah.”

“So really worst case scenario you start showing in October and we’ll just put a coat on you and scarfs and it’s gonna be okay. 

A little while after Tree left I got a call from Tom. They were sending him to NYC a few days early for a meeting. The plan was for me to get there the day after he got there just after his meeting. I wasn’t really sure how to tell him and in some ways I didn’t want to. I searched the Internet and finally found a cute "you are my sunshine” outfit that was pretty gender neutral. The package would arrive just after he got back from his meeting addressed to him but before I got there. He would meet me at the airport hopefully excited about being a daddy and I didn’t have to awkwardly tell him I’m pregnant.

Over the next few days I continued to be exhausted and just feel pregnant. I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s the feeling that led me to think something was different. It just feels off but also like everything is falling into place. Before I knew it I was climbing off the plane and Tom was standing there with tears in his eyes. As soon as I stepped off the final step he started running towards me and pulled me into his arms as if he was never going to let go.

“I assume you got my package.”

“Let’s go mommy." 

#159 Disney proposal (Phil only)

You both stood in the Magic Kingdom, eyes glued to the magnificent firework show erupting above your heads.

His arm was wrapped around the small of your back and yours were rested on his shoulders.

“That one was pretty,” you commented.

He smiled. “Yep. Not as pretty as you,”

“Oh man, come on Phil. Don’t make me vomit while trying to watch the fireworks.” You laughed.

He touched the small velvet box that had been sitting in his pocket all evening. He wanted nothing more than to open it to you.

“We’ll make a wish, and do as dreamers do. And all of our wishes will come true,” the song played throughout the park.

‘Now or never,’ he thought.

With a mental deep breath, he pulled away from you.

“Phil? What are you doing?” You furrowed your brows.

“Y/N.. Please, make my wish come true. Will you marry me?” His voice was shaky as he got down on one knee.

Your eyes went wide and your hand covered your mouth. Tears quickly overflowed down your cheeks and all you could do was nod.

Phil got up off the ground and the the ring onto your finger. “Thank you so much,” he hugged you tightly.

The small crowd around you cheered. You pulled back from the hug, both of you grinning.

As you went in for the kiss, one last, enormous firework went off.