the things we do for our children

you all need to think about how you interact with trans men online, like really think

recently one of my posts about being a trans man and casually interacting with another trans man got about 90,000 notes and the tags and comments are full of ‘too pure for this earth’, ‘i’m a dirty sinner i don’t deserve to read this post’, ‘adorable cute sweet precious boys’ despite the fact that it’s mentioned that i am in college and not a child in the post and you all need to think about how some trans men do not want to be referred to that way and being okay with being referred to that way is pretty much exclusively a young teenager tumblr thing that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. i’m just a man. none of this is necessary and it’s very performative, but…

along with this infantilizing, with this obsession with the proposed purity of another man and myself just for existing, there’s also dehumanization that comes with it, for example:

somewhere along the post, someone decided it would be a good idea to add, ‘all i can imagine is two eldritch horrors trying to get their voices as horrifying and fucked up as possible’ (not exact quote but that’s the gist of it)…

and someone decided that it would be a good idea to take my experience, wildly change the context and make a FANFIC, on MY OWN POST, of two eldritch MONSTERS upset because their voices didn’t sound ‘as horrific’ as the ‘monsters’ around them, and bonding over it together. nowhere in this fanfiction was being trans mentioned.

this is, quite possibly, the most horrifying thing someone has added to one of my posts and going beyond dehumanizing my experiences as a trans man enjoying my voice getting deeper, but also writing a fanfiction onto the post that changed the context of ‘two trans men finding validation between one another and our voices’ into ‘two monsters are sad they’re not scary enough and bond over trying to be scary together’. i shouldn’t have to explain how horrible that is for me to read, and how horrible it is to see that added on my own post & circulated through hundreds with no criticism.

quite frankly, it’s devastating to see how people talk about and interact with trans men. we are either children who must be protected and are weak and vulnerable and ‘too pure’, or we are fuel for your fanfics that completely strip us of our humanity. i consent to neither and if you think that any of these things are okay to do to a complete stranger, all you’re doing is patting yourself on the back for your performative ally points while making trans men uncomfortable with sharing their experiences and talking about their lives and trying to be happy with themselves. stop it. 

So about those space orcs...

I’ve seen a lot of posts about humans pack-bonding with frankly everything, no matter how big, scary, threatening, lethal or oozy.

But you know what I haven’t seen?

Humans entrusting their young to their pack-bonded friends. Because that’s a thing we do. We entrust our children to our friends. We entrust our children to our dogs. We befriend the biggest, meanest, scariest shit, and then we dump our defenseless, hasn’t-even-got-a-fully-fused-skull-yet offspring on them. Half for shits-and-giggles, half because it’s cute, mostly because children are exhausting and we need a nanny.

Keep reading

I love children’s books, but I get that not everyone does. That said, I came across two August books in the mail pile that take a critical (and, yes, more grown-up) approach to kids lit. Was The Cat In The Hat Black? by Philip Nel explores at the hidden racism behind popular children’s books, and Wild Things by Bruce Handy provides context and analysis for childhood classics like Little House on the Prairie, The Giving Tree and Goodnight Moon.

If you ARE into picture books, Chelsea Marshall and Mary Dauterman just published a satirical one for adults called  What Are We Even Doing With Our Lives?

Had to include this interior image – because public radio and tote bags:

- Sydnee

Images: Oxford University Press,  Simon & Schuster, Dey Street Books.

Humans are weird...

I love all these humans are weird posts so I’m trying my hand at one. I’ve been thinking, humans are like, ridiculous specialists. Our brains is so big we’re born prematurely so as not to tear our mothers apart. And we’re born crazy weak and we have super long childhoods to compensate. We pack bond and bond with bigger creatures to deal with this (this is why we think babies of all species are cute, it’s basically a drive to take care of this weak little thing because our own children are so weak). So what if alien species evolved so there was one, super weak but really brilliant species, has fine motor skills, huge language skills etc, and one that evolved as a symbiote that was basically huge protective dog/ox type to do the heavy lifting. And it’s really bizarre that we don’t have this symbiosis. Like the fact that humans are a stand alone species is weird. We seem huge and bulky to the tiny intelligent species (in my head it’s basically an otter/raven hybrid) and small and delicate to the other. And they don’t get how we function alone, until they see us spilling our pack bonding instincts all over everything, hostile predators, teddy bears, roombas, even cups with little chips in them. And then it’s like, oh I see, you don’t bond really strongly to one thing you bond just a little bit to everything and wait to see what sticks.

Lets say there is a group of humans stuck in a room with no entertainment whatsoever and this for a while. So what do humans do in a situation like this? We make noise and we just don’t shut up. Whether it be talking, singing, telling jokes, stories or even worse playing games.
Sure it could begin innocently with something like I spy with my little eye…, but it soon could evolve into things like truth or dare, two truths and a lie, would you rather or never have I ever. All of these can end so badly, not to mention making the aliens question if were even sane, depending on how far these so called games go.
If we can add some physical components like dice or cards into the mix there is such a wide array of possible games that need a certain sense of logic, luck and the ability to deceive others.
And if there is enough space the humans could possibly start playing tag or hide and seek or when they’re inside and an alien comes into a game, where all humans are perched somewhere on some sort of furniture and xe ask what the humans are doing there, but the only answer they give xem are the words “the floor is lava”, so xe backs out of the room slowly leaving the humans to… whatever it is they’re doing.

Basically all of our games have something to do with learning something about each other, being able to deceive someone better or even unconsciously train our children with stuff like tag and hide and seek to be pursuit predators. If there is not a game humans will invent one or make one up and the only things you know is that the rules will be super weird and you possibly could get hurt - especially if they decide they’re putting some sort of ball or other playing equipment in the equation.
Look at all of our games on our planets and tell me that we aren’t going to be known as the weirdos you never ever want to play with, because their games sound super dangerous and at best questionably sane.

If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things - praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts - not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.
—  C.S. Lewis, On Living In An Atomic Age

hey please stop talking about how all abrahamic religions believe in hell the eternal fiery pit because that concept doesn’t even exist in judaism and the jews who do believe in the old descriptions of our closest equivalent of christian ‘hell’ will tell you that hell isn’t a place of eternal damnation but is a temporary layover where the majority of average people go to work through their sins and issues in preparation for the afterlife and only truly irredeemably EVIL people have to stay there. if there are demons they are of the person’s own creation and have to be dealt with on a personal level. the concept of sinning losing you your place in a happy afterlife is generally regarded as exaggeration, like stories you tell your children to keep them from fucking up excessively. good deeds are to be performed because it is our duty and our pleasure to do so, and our most holy day is based around simultaneously repenting for our sins and acknowledging that we are going to continue to make mistakes, but that we should still try and god will be understanding of our natural flaws. our afterlife is also a general thing open to people of all religions, not just jews (so you can stop the chosen people exclusive club accusations now), who do good on earth. those who don’t literally can’t be in 'hell’ for longer than twelve months unless they are truly the scum of the earth. but genuinely it’s not that big a deal even for the jews who DO believe in the reward/punishment afterlife factor so can we stop being like ~*ABRAHAMIC RELIGIONS EXIST TO FRIGHTEN YOU WITH ETERNAL DAMNATION*~

“Protect autistic ppl uwu so precious and soft and fra-”
HOLD UP. No, we’re not. We’re ordinary people who’s brains process things a bit differently. We’re not weak. Seriously. I mean, we do need more accommodations in our society, but we’re not inherently fragile and weak. It’s infuriating to see us get treated like babies under the guise of generic positivity.
My friend calls me a ‘smol, sweet baby.’ <i>And it drives me off the fucking wall.</i>
Autistic adults exist, man!
Tl;dr: stop treating autistic people like young children when they aren’t young children.

8

I have two children: Fiona, who is six years old, and Jerónimo, who is eight, and I don’t believe the old saying that we so often hear that we should just, leave a better world for our children. No! No, no, no. I want to live in that better world with my children. I want to see them relate to the ocean the way my father saw me do the same thing as a boy. I want to be part of that and take advantage of the time we have left, and we can do that together.

Diego Luna  during the special event commemorating World Oceans Day 2017 at the United Nations Headquarters in New York.

People arguing that the poor shouldn’t have kids and that benefits should be cut from kids in families with “too many kids” are being super obvious that they don’t think of poor people as fully human.  And also that they’re into genocide (it’s not like we live in a world where poverty, deprivation, and lack of access to resources is evenly distributed across all racial/ethnic groups and we all fucking know that).

Rights like being able to have a family, to raise children, to continue our families and cultures are basic parts of human rights that people should be able to choose to engage in (or not, if that’s their preference, but they shouldn’t be coerced not to).

Banning someone from having kids or starting a family or coercing them not to is an incredibly cruel thing to do to someone.  And that’s what people are doing when they suggest poor people shouldn’t have kids.  Rich people and classist assholes act like the choice is between having kids in poverty or having kids not in poverty and that’s just not how things go in reality.  Most people born in poverty will remain in poverty or close to it.  The choice to have kids and start a family outside of poverty is one denied to most people.

And don’t concern troll about the welfare of poor kids if you’re trying to cut their food, housing, education, etc. and if you see them as garbage drains on society.  Concern for poor children is totally fucking unrelated to ruling class desires to control poor people and to victim blame poor people for poverty.

Poor people having kids isn’t what creates poverty, poverty is the result of systematic exploitation and a fucked up inhumane system.  Kids born to the poor are as valuable and human as any other child, and poor people have as much rights to things like having a family as any other human being.

A Softer Love
  • “There are two types of love. True love, and the love we actually get.”
  • “I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.”
  • “Our love was doomed, a burning building, a broken neck. But nothing since you and me even feels like love.”
  • “I want everyone to love me and I’m pretty sure the trick is to just be myself, but with money.”
  • “I can only infer that love exists from its effects on others.”
  • “I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now.”
  • “You are the love of my life so far.”
  • “Will you still love me when I am a spooky ghost?”
  • “I’m in love with the you I wish you were. I only stay with you because you look like him.”
  • “Sometimes even love isn’t enough. So what chance do WE have?”
  • “I wish being in love was enough. I wish it counted for anything at all.”
  • “I hate it when you leave but I love to look at your butt while you walk away.”
  • “Yeah, maybe we all die alone. I masturbate alone, too. Sometimes.”
  • “Sometimes when two people love each other it’s really unfortunate.”
  • “I don’t believe each person has just one true love, but sometimes we don’t have enough time to find another.”
  • “If love lasted forever, we’d only ever get one.”
  • “Just once I’d like to fall in love with someone? who will ruin things before I do.”
  • “Ah, unrequited love. When your best isn’t enough.”
  • “I am terrified I will never find another love like ours.”
  • “I want to carve our initials in the bark of everyone who ever hurt you.”
  • “I love the way your face lights up when someone says, "It might be dangerous.”“
  • "All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.”
  • “Our love is like an animatronic pigeon. No! It’s like a sex party on the moon! Also I am a bit drunk.”
  • “I want people to tell their children terrifying stories about the things we did for love.”
  • “When you get that look, nobody is safe. It’s why I first fell in love with you.”
  • “You are a good person and I love you. This just isn’t the life I hoped I’d have.”
  • “Marriage isn’t just between a man and a woman, it’s between any two people who love each other and want to ruin their lives.”
  • “Our love is a forest fire and we are the little things that live in the trees.”
  • “Sometimes I think you might fall in love with someone else and all my problems will be solved.”
  • “I keep all my old love letters, but to be honest I just skim them for the dirty bits.”
  • “It would be easier to deal with falling out of love if it hadn’t somehow made the sex exciting again.”
  • “Unrequited love is a waste of time. Just walk it off. There. I said it.”
  • “If our love lasts forever it’s gonna get real awkward when one of us dies.”
  • “There are just two things that make life worth living. The people you love, and sweet pranks.”
  • “I love those quiet moments in the dark where you can stop pretending.”
  • “I don’t know what the fuck true love even is but I do want to hang out with you for basically the rest of my life.”
  • “I said I’d love you forever, and really meant it at the time. I guess that’s my problem. A failure of imagination.”
  • “I know I can’t make you love me. But I wish I could make you shut up about not loving me.”
  • “Our love is a meteor impact, a super volcano erupting. We won’t survive but we won’t die bored.”
  • “At first I was angry you had fallen in love with someone else, but you seem so happy now I didn’t even know you were sad.”
  • “You don’t love me, but you used to. I wanted to say thank you for that.”
  • “You and I will never be a great love story. That’s ok! Let’s see what kind of story we’ll be.”
  • “When I picture you with your new lover I get angry, and then sad, then kind of horny.”
  • “I lost the woman I loved and now all I have are my father’s well-meaning words, "Maybe now you can meet a nice man.”“
  • "I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.”
  • “She’s like an angel. My family loves her but I just don’t believe anymore." 
My children, our love should not be only words and talk. No, our love must be real. We must show our love by the things we do.
—  1 John 3:18

anonymous asked:

I feel so bad for the children who's parents spend all their food stamp money on junk food. I don't understand why you need to spend your last 150 dollars on snack cakes, chocolate, and soda when you have 4 small kids to feed..

Not your business. Heaven forbid people fucking enjoy the little things when life is fucking miserable when you’re poor. FUCK OFF! I’ve been on food stamps. We couldn’t take our kids to fun places or do anything memorable as a family. Our lives were basically check to check and on the edge of our seat to see if we could even have a Halloween or Christmas. Living poor is shit and I honestly considered killing myself so many times because I couldn’t do more to make my kids feel like kids and happy.  I’d rather pay for a poor kid to have a candy bar than some asshole who thinks poor people are the problem and not the tax evading rich people to get their second car or more.

Let me also remind you that healthy food has a high price and low shelf life. You can keep “junk” for months while a goddamn banana will go bad within three days of purchase. Not everyone can afford the gas or cab fare to drive to and from the store every fucking day. Try living on food stamps(equivalent) for a month and see if you can survive. Don’t judge til you know.

Choke on your caviar next time before opening your mouth. -Abby

For those of you just listening in, our stores do classes and birthday parties. For the week of spring break, we have a class that runs the entire week where little kids can come in and learn how to do a craft each day. 

Except…

…the kids that come to these things are usually under the age where spring break is an actual thing. Oldest so far is 7. Our youngest is 3. Average is about four. 

Great.

This does, however, lead to some interesting interactions with small children- which I’m willing to do. (It’s almost always the parents I have a problem with.)

The first is a tiny three-year-old to whom English is her second language. This presents a unique challenge, but if you lead by example you can work around language barriers enough to communicate.

We were making monsters out of clay, which amounts to making a pinch pot, turning it on its side, and then decorating it with googly eyes and making teeth, horns, spikes, and whatever else you might decide to put on a monster face. 

This little girl…

Three eyes, horns, spikes down the back, a forked tongue, stripes on the tongue, spots on the skin, a lunch pail, and a mustache. 

She was so proud of this neon mess of monster that she began menacing people with it. But instead of making ‘monster noises’ like the rest of the class did, she would just creep up on you silently and set it just out of your line of sight. And when you finally noticed that there was a monster there, she would hide behind you, giggling menacing.

This child. 

She’s going places. 

2

You know, I’ve often wondered why it is we have children in the first place. And the conclusion I’ve come to is… At some point in our lives we realize things are screwed up beyond repair. So we decide to start again. Wipe the slate clean. Start fresh. And then we have children. Little carbon copies we can turn to and say, “You will do what I could not. You will succeed where I have failed.” Because we want someone to get it right this time.

2

The best thing about it, honestly, is working with Chris again. I first met him in Kenneth Branagh’s house in England in 2009. We were mere children, in the very beginning of our acting journeys. We made an instant connection, and it’s been extraordinary to share the ride with him—this mad journey with Marvel. Anthony Hopkins has been on set this week. And Taika Waititi is magnificent. He has found a way of honoring everything that came before but doing his own thing. And he’s so funny. His films—and if you haven’t, you must seek them out: What We Do in the Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople—they have this combination of light-hearted, good humor and emotion. They’re very moving. Everyone’s really happy. 

  • as much as i love shiro, matt teasing him is one of my favourite things because it results in something like this….

shiro: hey matt, we’re together for this assignm-

matt: *frantically shushes him* takashi!! keep your voice down, there are children here oh my god

shiro: *whispering* “what?? but i was just saying-

matt: *at full volume* TAKASHI. CHILL. CALM DOWN. THERE’S NO NEED TO BE SO LOUD.

everyone else in their class: “shiro what the hell this is a learning establishment, we cannot have you making noise and distracting us from our work!!?!”

shiro: i hate you all

everyone: “SHHHHH”

  • or something like THIS….

shiro: matt, when do you wanna work on the-

matt: what?

shiro: i said, when do you want to-

matt: *cups hand over ear* what??

shiro: WHEN DO YOU WANT TO-

matt: WHAT?!? i can’t understand what you’re saying, speak up

shiro: *frustrated* WHEN DO YOU WANT TO WORK ON THE BROKEN WING?

matt: …..

everyone: …..

matt: geez, i heard you, there’s no need to shout

shiro: LOOK HERE you piece of shit-

3

PLEASE LOVE YOUR TRANSGENDER & NON BINARY CHILDREN. THEY ARENT HURTING ANYONE. THEY ARE NORMAL AND THEY DESERVE YOUR LOVE. THATS ALL WE WANT.

I don’t care if they are 13, I don’t care if they are 30.

This is what transphobia looks like. This is what being 27 years old and your family is talking to you like a toddler and telling you “Sweetie, that’s just how the world is. We can’t change our minds. I’m sorry, we don’t love Kyle, we love Katie.”

I am strong. I will survive this. But this is what is killing children. This is what is killing adults. This is the ugly reality of things.

I went home for Christmas in the hopes I could show my family how good I was doing. Even after they told me I wasn’t allowed to come originally. I fought to be here. I had gained weight, me depression is better, my anxiety is gone, my smile was real.

But it was crushed. Every. Day. No one stuck up for me. Not even my siblings.

It’s not wrong to be transgender. You don’t need to be fixed! I don’t give a fuck if a book or some old dude tells you it’s wrong. I don’t care if your mom tells she doesn’t love you anymore and your dad hits you. It isn’t wrong. You are normal and you have to be strong and you have to live for you.

It is time to take control of your life. I don’t know what happens when we die. But I know it’s important that we live and show this world that we deserved love and respect and to be a part of a family.

Please be strong. Please choose to live because I am choosing to live and document this in the hope that one day it is going to get better and someone will find this and see even in the darkest hours we can pull through.

Kyle

phineas and ferb episode

OPEN TO: THE BACKYARD

PHINEAS: ferb, what do you want to do today?
FERB: [blinks]
PHINEAS: hmm… you’re right ferb. since there’s no true ‘self’, whatever ‘we’ want to do today is just playing into the social dogma of what can or can’t be done. 
FERB: [thumbs up]

ENTER: ISABELLA

ISABELLA: whatcha doin?
PHINEAS: rejecting the social dogma!
ISABELLA: cool. can i help?
PHINEAS: sure. but i think asking kinda defeats the purpose. i think you just do it.
FERB: [nods]

ISABELLA opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted as BUFORD and BALJEET enter the scene

BALJEET: whatcha doin?
ISABELLA: hey!
BALJEET: oh, sorry isabella. i did not see you there. 
BALJEET: so. what are you guys doing?
PHINEAS: we don’t know yet. we’re trying to get a little bit nebulous with it today
BUFORD: explain.
PHINEAS: well, is anything we do really our own decision? what’s autonomy like in modern society? we’re trying to get out of that bind. 
BUFORD: sounds to me like you’re just playin into the whole thing, dinnerbell.
BUFORD: you really want to break down social constructs? try something like this.

BUFORD pulls back his arm and delivers a strong punch to the TREE. it rattles and a single leaf floats gracefully down, landing on the tip of phineas’s nose

SYNCHRONIZED, the other children OOH and AHH in reaction