the things i long to hear

I Don’t Know What to Call This

Shawn Mendes 
Words ~ 500
Notes ~ Idk, a lot of stuff has been happening in me personal life (exams, disappointing boy troubles, stage crew stress because the big school production is coming up next month) and I haven’t really had time / wanted to write stuff. Basically, sorry if this is bad :) There was meant to be a second half for this, but I don’t feel like writing it at the moment / might carry it on later. 
Also, for context, Shawn = 16 years old, Alex = 15 years old

“Hey.” Shawn’s voice broke through the silent making me jump out my skin. My eyes didn’t move from the pages, although I found it hard to concentrate on the words as the mattress shifted beside me. Things fell quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t long until Shawn got bored.

“What you readin’?” I could hear the smirk in his words as he reached up and poked my cheek. I tried not to pay him any attention, not wanting him to feel like he had won, but he. wouldn’t. stop. poking. my. cheek.

Closing the book, I let out a long breathe before turning to the smiling boy next to me. He took the book out of my hand, giving the blurb a quick glance, “You don’t normally care about the books I’m reading.”

Not so carefully, Shawn threw the book to the end of the bed. And I was about the yell at him because how dare he do that to my precious book, but before I could Shawn had his arms wrapped around me, dragging me closer. I let out a surprised sound which made Shawn laugh.

“That’s the cutest sound I’ve ever heard.” His chest vibrated under my hands, and I couldn’t help but giggle along as he drew my head away from its hiding place between the crook of his neck and shoulder. His fingers brushed over my cheek before ghosting over my bottom lip, “You’re so beautiful.”

I didn’t know what to say. Even after three weeks of dating, I still wasn’t used to the constant compliments Shawn threw my way.

My speechlessness only made Shawn smile brighter. His hand moved to the back of my head, gently guiding my face closer until our lips met. I froze for a second, my hand clenching tighter onto his shirt, still not 100% used to the whole kissing my best friend thing. But with each pass of his lips on mine, I could feel myself relaxing.

Losing my death grip on his shirt, my hand moved to hip just so it would be out the way. Our noses bumped together as Shawn sought a better angle, but all it did was make me laugh. His lips never left mine though, resulting in our teeth hitting together clumsily.

A door slammed shut downstairs causing me to jump again. Shawn’s laughter barely covered the sound of John yelling at Dad about something stupid.

“You’re so jumpy.”

Rolling my eyes, I shoved his chest playfully, “Shut up.”

He pressed a kiss to my cheek before leaning over and grabbing the abandoned book, “Anyway, you going to tell me about this book you love so much.”

Sitting up, I’m sure I did a little bounce with excitement, “Okay, so it’s called Throne of Glass…”

A little thought

Everyone in Phandom has wanted a danny phantom bring back for years and yet when finally butch starts talking about people start complaining, literally attacking the short animation that was made. Yes it lacked shading, yes it looked cheap and odd (you’…BUT we haven’t seen them in so long I was happy to see the and hear their voices saying new got to remember, the animation was most likely made on a budget)
If you truly want more Phantom, then you’d be happy for this. I would love more of the show, but seeing how the fandom of it reacted after them appearing in a 2 minute video just makes sad.
I understand your fanfictions and theories but remember it is just that, you can make the characters your own, but they ae made by butch and therefore he will see them his own way. It’s not that he doesn’t ‘know’ the characters, but rather perceives them differently.

I will admit, I had a smile when watching the short, even if it did look weird, hearing and seeing my favourites character back in action for a short amount of time made me so happy :)

anonymous asked:

You've inspired me to pick film photography back up after years. I have been very mentally ill for a long time and lost all my hobbies but now I actually feel moved to do something. Tysm

whoa this is so kind to hear. i also struggle w mental illness and film photography/exploring are like the only hobbies that i have the energy for, lol. it means a lot that i’m able to bring beauty into ppls lives and inspire them. i hope that you can find some happiness w photography <3 good luck w things and also id love to see ur photos!

anonymous asked:

Ashley, I am eagerly awaiting 7x12! I hope that the writers give Rick and Michonne the proper love scene that they deserve. Or do you think they will short change us again? Do you think we will hear them say I love you to one another? It will be the icing on the cake if it happens! Love your fan fiction, has you writing caught the attention of the Walking Dead yet? You should write for them, specifically all things Richonne : )

Me too, sis. Me, too! And I think (okay, I hope, but I really do think) it’ll be everything that we want it to be. I imagine the scene(s) won’t be particularly long, because it’s still TWD, but the chemistry between Andy and Danai is so palpable, it’ll feel like an inferno.

I don’t know about an “I love you” verbatim, but I think love will definitely be expressed. (One could say “We’re the ones who live” is a version of that.) But either way, I’m sure we’ll be dying from all the feels. And my entire body is tingling just thinking about it, haha.

Lastly, thank you! I appreciate that a lot. As far as I know, it’s not on TWD’s radar, but not gonna lie, writing for Richonne exclusively sounds like my actual dream job. 😄

chaosthxory  asked:

url meme: chaosthxory, truheda, echokcmazgeda, icymenace, aznofi and everyturnanycost

Send me URL and I will say something nice about them || accepting

@chaosthxory: You’re such a sweet, mun! And def have a great taste in characters. I have enjoyed roleplaying with your muses I have threaded with so far. Excellent writer! I especially like your Nora, she is pretty on point! And on my multi I’m excited to start things with Kane. You seem to do an excellent job with him from what I’ve seen. <3

@trueheda: We haven’t been following each other too long and I was kinda intimated by them at first tbh xD but Kai has been very nice and sweet. And I enjoy hearing their take on Grounder culture. Also they add an interesting depth to Ontari that was lacking in the show and I have liked our thread so far! I look forward to doing more. 

​: KATIE MY BAE! THE ECHO TO MY ROAN <3 Seriously, she is just such an excellent writer. Her Echo is like, THE FREAKING BEST TO ME. She is so very sweet and lets me scream at her about our babes and during episodes xD All of her muses are so wonderful. I just. *breathes deeply* really love Katie and her Echo okay.

Sooo, we haven’t threaded yet. But from the things I have stalked, the mun seems to understand Nia very well. They add depth to her without taking away the simple brutality and cruelty of Ice Nation and the Ice Queen. Honestly, they write so beautifully and I am a very intimated potato. But hopefully we can do things soon. 

: So I’ve kinda seen their blog around some? But I’m not sure who they are. However! I love me some Azkru <3 Also their theme?? Is like?? goals?? So pretty

@everyturnanycost: SKAINONTU. I love me some Kane <3 We haven’t threaded yet, but I’ve chatted some with the mun they are hella sweet and will yell with me about muses xD Also they have a King Theo so i just AZGEDA GRAMPA! From what I’ve seen they are a very lovely writer and mun <3

anonymous asked:

"So, this is the end of us?" With newt please? Thank you

Originally posted by gangsterthomasbrodie

The silence that filled the room was unsettling. It felt like both Newt and I knew what it mean, but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it.

Yet it was obvious that after a fight like that things couldn’t be the same. At least not for now, since it would take a long time to recover from it.

We had said things that we didn’t mean yet that were hurtful. We had behaved in a terrible way and we were both too proud to admit it.

“So, this is the end of us?” I piped up, breaking the loud silence.

Newt, who had been facing his back to me, turned around. His face displayed surprise and concern.

“I…” He began to say, just to close his mouth again and gulp. “I don’t know…”

It was so strange to hear his voice so low and serious. His British accent thicened as well, which was never good. It was a great change from his usual cheerful and playful tone. And I didn’t like it.

“Maybe we should have a break from each other” I didn’t really want to give up on him, on us. But I needed to spend some time alone, I needed to be away from him for a few days. And I knew he did too.

“Maybe” He repeated, even if he clenched his jaw a little.

“Goodbye, Newt” I said as I sighed and went for the door.

“Y/N” He called me before I could leave. “I’m sorry”

I briefly looked over my shoulder to him.

“I’m sorry too”

positivity tag <3

Tagged by: @proudpukwudgie​ (omggg soso sorry it took me so long to do this DX)

rules: list five things you like about yourself. then, let us know what your favorite feature is and and maybe post a pic of it! after that, go ahead and tag some people to spread the love!

1. My voice
2. The idea that I can make others laugh with my laugh
3. How well I work with animals <3
4. my art
5. My ear (in sense, I can hear a tune, pitch, or sound, others may not hear. I am also super good at tuning)

my favorite feature is: This is going to sound stupid. but I really really like how my lips and eyes look?

I know I’ve already posted this picture but like. ye

I tag: @azurakenway @sinuhmyn-apple @thenewtsalamander @needingsomehogwartsshitupinhere @alicecorsairs @fantastic-newt

“When I started being a father, I wasn’t ready. Things are great now but I struggled with substance abuse for a long time. I have three older children and I wasn’t very present with them. I’m fifty-one now and this is my last chance. So I’m trying to do my best with this one. He’s my little baby. Thankfully I’m good friends with his mother so I’m able to see him every day. But I’ve never lived with him. I don’t wake him up in the morning or help him get ready for school. I hear my other friends talking about these things and I just hate it. It makes me feel so guilty. But I’m doing my best. It’s not the best. But it’s my best.”

(São Paulo, Brazil)

We used to call people Nazis to exaggerate, to compare someone to the worst group in human history

Like Feminazi?

Everyone’s favorite anti feminist word.

Grammar Nazi, for people being too uptight with their corrections in grammar.

Everyone threw the word around like a joke.

Everyone made jokes about it like a long dead bogey man.

But look at it now.

People are making it a legitimate term again, the word for a fascist, for a person who believes the holocaust was RIGHT.

For a person who believes genocide will solve our problems.

Think about that.

Think about how we thought we were passed this.

How we joked.

How we never thought it could happen again.

How we were so sure of this, that Nazis were the worst thing to ever happen in history (ethnocentric I know but hear me out).

That we used their likeness as a joke, not a jab at extremism, but the “ridiculousness” of someone.

But now…

Look what we are.

Look what’s happening.

We’re losing what we were, and reverted back to the 40s, making the same mistakes.

You can’t say get over the HOLOCAUST anymore.

We clearly never learned our lesson.

Okay I’ll seriously forget if I don’t do it now, so I wanna make a post about some of Victor’s scenes in episode 10. Mostly ‘cause I haven’t seen any other posts talking about it from this angle yet.

Some important things we get from having the episode be in Victor’s POV is that we finally get to hear, to some extent, his opinions on specific topics. Mainly, his break from skating and how it seems to effect everyone else (including him). 

It’s obvious what he thinks of Yuuri, but he specifically talks about other skaters and his relationships with them, and how his leaving for the season has been taken. One of the most notable, I think, would be this one about Chris:

“I can’t imagine a skating season without him, and he has said that he wouldn’t be motivated in a season without me, either. Despite all that, he was savvy enough to make it to the Grand Prix Final.”

Victor’s obviously been very observant of all the other skaters, and he’s been thinking about how his departure from the scene has changed things. He makes a specific note about Chris, probably his biggest rival on the ice, and comments on how not being able to imagine a season without him… only to acknowledge that Chris has done perfectly fine without having Victor to compete against. 

Skip ahead to the beach scene near the end, and we get to what I really want to talk about. Specifically, Victor grabbing Yuri and his hand shaking. 

One thing I keep seeing is people saying Victor’s angry with Yuri, that he grabs him out of anger because he was insulting Yuuri. However, Victor’s heard Yuri insult his charge on plenty an occasion. Both he and Yuuri are used to the name calling and are the adults in the situation, so they don’t let Yuri’s outbursts get to them. Why would that change now? 

No, I don’t think it’s about him insulting Yuuri at all. I don’t think Victor’s even really angry when he grabs Yuri - at least, he’s more upset than angry. 

So, the scene is set: Victor’s taking a walk, goes out to the beach to look at the ring Yuri gave him. He’s obviously thinking really deeply about something, and the fact that he’s at the beach with seagulls hanging around (a scene he’s mentioned reminds him of home) adds a layer of sentimentality to the situation without any words being said. 

And then Yuri very aggressively disrupts his train of thought with this:

This probably reads a lot like a comical ‘you’re dead to me!’ sort of line - understandable, given Yuri’s clear disdain towards Yuuri. However, this line is more important because it’s more or less Yuri summing up the entire dilemma Victor has been forced to confront the entire episode: that he is no longer the reigning champion, the idol, the inspirational pro skater. I read this as Yuri voicing Victor’s thoughts and worries out into the open, and forcing Victor to confront his fears about them in a more literal sense. 

Yuri says this line, then asks why Victor is happy choosing this life with ‘that damned pig’. Victor’s response to this is, “Did you want to compete against me?” A weird, very specific question to throw back, right? It seems almost completely off topic. But I think it’s Victor trying to confirm something.

“Don’t be so full of yourself. Not all skaters look up to you. Just go away already, geezer.”

And there it is, that’s the line that sets Victor off and makes him grab the fifteen-year-old rather aggressively - uncharacteristically so. We’ve never once seen Victor act like this. There’s even a nice little jab at his age in there, which we know Victor’s sensitive about. 

Yuri is basically summing up what Victor is slowly coming to accept, a truth that might even scare him - he’s fading away from the skating world. This sport that’s been his entire life is something that he’s now seeing can go on without him. The competitors he’s felt inspired by, who he could never imagine having beside him on the ice… they’re able to move on. 

“I’ll win just to prove how incompetent his owner is.”

Victor’s not angry - he’s scared. His hand is shaking because Yuri is basically throwing every worry Victor has about his choices back into his face. Rather than giving Victor the chance to be quietly reflective, Yuri is forcing him to confront it by voicing it. Yuri challenging the worth of the ring specifically means a lot. He’s suggesting everything Victor’s done up to this point - being interested in Yuuri, giving up skating to coach him, falling in love with him and wanting to stay - is all a big mistake that he’s going to regret. And then he’ll have nothing, because the skating world doesn’t want or need him anymore. 

As if any of this isn’t something Victor’s already thought about. The thing is, Victor also knows that if he hadn’t done any of it, he would’ve regretted that more than anything. 

“If I’d stayed in Russia as a competitor, Yurio wouldn’t be this motivated to fight. And neither would I…”

Even if this path is uncertain, is scary… even if it means giving up a huge part of himself and moving on from something he’s devoted his entire life to up until this point… Victor still sees it as the right choice. Maybe even the only choice. 

The scene doesn’t end on a bad note though! I thought Yuri’s parting remark (which I read as some form of indirect apology for riling him up so much) ties up the exchange quite nicely:

i love…. when boys ramble? like when they just excitedly start telling u about something and they go on about it for a long time and u just sit back and listen to them talking about the the thing ahhh its so cute

also this 100% counts autistic boys who ramble about their special interests!! I’d love to hear yall tell me abt your SI’s ☺️

Don’t call me “high functioning”

Let me tell you something about autism

I know an autistic person who

  • Can usually make eye contact for short periods
  • Can usually understand body language
  • Can usually understand sarcasm
  • Rarely goes nonverbal
  • Rarely has meltdowns or shutdowns
  • Does not stim “loudly” around other people

This person does not look autistic, they can hold conversations and pass as neurotypical. They seem to be “high functioning”.

I also know an autistic person who

  • Often cannot go to the store alone
  • Often cannot tolerate being touched
  • Often forgets to do things like shower and eat
  • Often cannot hear people speaking to him when other people are talking
  • Often cannot change tasks/start a new task without intervention even for important things like switching from browsing Tumblr to getting food
  • Often gets disoriented by sensory overload in stores, schools, workplaces, restaurants and even just walking down the street
  • Often cannot maintain focus long enough to watch anything but simple cartoons or read anything but simple comics

This person will likely never function independently, complete college or have a job. They will likely always require support from family, friends or partners. They seem to be “low functioning”

Guess what?

They’re both me.

The point is that no matter how high functioning an autistic person appears in conversation with you, you’re only seeing part of the picture. I without fail am always told I must be “high functioning” when I say I’m autistic because all people are looking at are my social skills (and I received intervention when young that taught me many of the social skills I was lacking) but the reality is autism involves much more than that and by many other standards I am “low functioning”. Those just happen to be the aspects of it that are invisible to the people who don’t help to care for me.

Regardless of how valid you believe functioning labels to be it’s inappropriate to apply them to an autistic person without their permission, especially if you don’t know them well. Autism is not that simple and many of the things that affect a persons ability to function aren’t easy to see.

i like you (this is a problem)

“Here’s the thing-” Lily said, marching into the pub and pulling out a stool.

“We’re closed.” James interrupted without looking up from wiping down the bar.

“I want a dog.” Lily barrelled on without hearing him. “But my landlord doesn’t allow pets so I was wondering-“

“I’m not getting a fucking dog for you.” James said firmly.

Lily blinked at him. “I was going to ask if you thought it was morally wrong to raise it in my air-vent.” There was a silence. James was caught between hoping she wasn’t serious and knowing that she was. “Your idea seems better.” Lily admitted.

“Really. Talk me through that, is it because there is no animal abuse involved?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of then you’d have to clean up the poo, but the no animal abuse is also good.”

“Y’know” Sirius was lying on top of the bar, waving around a beer and staring at the ceiling. Nobody looked up. “I always thought once we owned a bar we would spend a solid 60% percent of our time drunk, and that hasn’t happened.” 

Remus, still wiping down tables, said “I shudder to think what you’d be like on your own.”

“Since we bought the bar we spend more time drunk than we used to?” Peter consoled, baffled.

Sirius sat up. “I would say we spent about 15% percent of our time drunk before the bar, and after the bar we spend about 25%. That is an increase of only ten percent.”

“Where are you pulling these numbers from?” Lily asked while holding the ladder for James, who was avoiding the dishwasher by pretending to fix the squeaky window.

“On top of being an excellent barman I double as a statistician.”

“You are neither of those things.” Remus said. Sirius glared.

“Fuck you Moony. At school you were always saying I didn’t do enough math, and here I am, doing math, and you’re abusing me.”

Remus threw a dishtowel at him and gestured to the kitchen. “Go unstack the dishwasher.”

“Fantastic.” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “This is what I get for my brief foray into math. Insulted and unloading dishes.” He jumped off the bar and mockingly gave Remus’ back the finger. James laughed.

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Portraits of Halo

15 years ago today (Nov 15, 2001) Halo and the Xbox were released. At first, i didn’t pay the console, or the game, much mind. I had my doubts about Microsoft and this relatively unknown shooter brought over from the computer world, so i figured i’d give the system a pass for the time being. Over the next few months though, i kept hearing good things about Halo. It got rave reviews in the magazines and a few people i knew played it non stop. But still, i held off. Then one night, i stopped by my friends house to hang out for a bit. After a while, he asked if i wanted to play some games and suggested we dive into a few levels of Halo, Co-op.

We played the first 4-5 areas straight through and about 30 minutes in, i was completely hooked. I can’t overstate the amount of joy and fun i had. Headshotting grunts, driving the warthog off cliffs while blasting the horn, and watching groups of Covenant scatter and curse at me in their alien language as i chucked a grenade right in the middle of them, had me smiling from ear to ear. And playing it all with a friend, cooperatively (which was something i had never really done before), brought the experience to a completely new level. The controls were tight, the AI was fantastic and the levels were massive. I couldn’t ask for much more when it came to gameplay.  

Keep reading


I’ve been wanting to do this for a really long time so sorry if this doodledump looks messy ^^;

Anyway, little things about Yellow!

  • Yellow is basically the negative that balances Jack’s positive.
  • Unlike most Anti’s, Yellow is more of a conscience type of being. He represents certain qualities like “Materialism” and “Order”, and frequently voices his opinions (which Jack would hear as that little voice in his head) instead of bottling them all in.
  • Yellow is a neat freak and PROUD OF IT. Just as long as, you know, you don’t phrase it as OCD because it ISN’T really though it probably is
  • His ashes infuriate him to some point as well, but it doesn’t last long since they disappear a few seconds after.
  • Yellow leaves said ashes only when he floats, which he always does.
  • Yellow loves Jack.
  • He can’t take off the smiley pin, but it could fall off on its own. When it does, he panics.
  • When things start to levitate around him, run away. If he’s smiling with his eyes as well, run faster.
  • Sam can see him but Jack can’t.
  • Yellow can’t fly. Only float, but nowhere too far away from Jack.
@ people who are ill in anyway but are still trying to find a diagnosis

you are valid

your issues are valid

I am so sorry you have to go through all this

just because you arent sure whats wrong, doesnt mean something isnt wrong.

just because you havent been diagnosed, it does not mean you are not sick.

you are not making it up

Its okay to feel panicked, scared, stressed or anything else because this is a scary thing to go through, your emotions are valid.

its okay to not know how to feel, because this is a very hard situation to go through, any form of confusion or frustration you might feel is valid.

whether you are home, in school, or working, your health is the most important thing, please put yourself first. and never feel ashamed for putting yourself first.

you are going through so much, and im sorry you couldnt just be diagnosed and at least know whats wrong, i hope you get whatever amount of help you need soon.

do not let people invalidate you, do not let them say youre lying, and do not let them treat you like youre lying. this goes for friends, family, strangers and even doctors. you are a person, you deserve to be treated like a person. you deserved to be believed.

you matter, you are amazing and im so proud of you.

and always remember

I believe you. and i believe in you.

things I want to see

Lapis showing up at random events and improv-ing what you’re supposed to say:

birthdays- condolences on emerging!

winter holidays- cheers to the earth dying for a couples months!

funerals- glad to hear about your collective wardrobe collaboration.

anniversaries- congratulations on tolerating each other for long enough to not become an intolerable fusion that despises itself!….then she laughs uncontrollably and the others wonder at what point it’s a cry for help

it’s so weird to watch the various plays and hear Ithrottaalfurinn speak so much

As Sportacus, probably because of the second language thing, he doesn’t talk that much but in the Icelandic plays? he’s such a rapid fire speaker

make me think that once he realizes that Robbie speaks Icelandic, Sportacus just goes OFF all excitedly like he does in the plays with these long winded explanations about health and exercise and Robbie’s like

nevermind I don’t speak Icelandic anymore please stop


You got that James Dean day dream look in your eye
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time.
Cause we never go out of style
We never go out of style

You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt.
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt,
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time.
Cause we never go out of style
We never go out of style.

I always think of them when I hear this song. Has anyone made an AMV of it? If so, gimme gimme XD


A character from my novel project. I haven’t drawn her in a while…