the things i do instead of papers

The most Ravenclaw thing I have ever done

Last year I had this super important work I had to do for my philosophy class (which was mandatory and I kinda hate it ;-;) and I was having like ZERO MOTIVATION to do it, however I sat down in my computer, trying to get it done; after a couple of hours I got so bored that I distracted myself by doing some chemistry homework… Like, just for fun

Tbh, I don’t think this is actually such a “Ravenclaw” thing, but next day in the morning when I told my bff this she was like: “oh dear lord, you’re such a Ravenclaw” lol

Honestly it seems like a pretty Ravenclaw thing to do, because I have definitely done it… like Spanish is a gorgeous language, but I really don’t like the class all that much, and I had a huge project due, and so I started writing a research paper on the French revolution instead… And honestly, who wouldn’t like chemistry? Combustion and electric chemistry and subatomic particles and avogadro  😍 💦

anonymous asked:

what are some really important pointers you have for people who want to make animatics?

this is probably gonna be a bit long so just a heads up i guess?? also please note im not a student for anything in art and am not a professional i’m just giving out my opinions on this and things based on my own experience.

  • do thumbnailing 

you don’t always have to start it with the actual frame and the drawing for thumbnailing doesn’t have to be good. this is just to let you have a feel of what you want for the final frame. it also doesn’t have to be digital you can just doodle it in some paper you found lying about. this is also good for parts of your animatics where there’s lots of movement(like dancing!) 

thumbnailing is also good for parts where you have multiple ideas! doodle all your possible ideas and see which one is best for that scene

  • perspective/angled shots

these are super cool and can help with the atmosphere of the scene! for example:

they also just look really nice and interesting and fun

  • landscapes and backgrounds

you can’t always have just a bunch of people gathered around all in one frame, you gotta show the setting of the whole thing

this also allows for your characters to move around more! don’t always make them flat like this though(this doesn’t mean you can’t do this, just don’t do it all the time)

grab a ruler or if you don’t have one like me, zoom out completely and try to make straight lines(they don’t rlly have to be perfectly straight though! but don’t make them too slanted either)

and if you have sai, free deform it and set the perspective to 100% and then just mess around with it!

also remember to add buildings/furniture/etc if needed!!

  • do dynamic poses

these help the facial expressions of the character! a lot of people seem to just concentrate on just the face for emotion but body language is also important!

you can throw in some perspective into this as well!

  • make a LOT of frames

as mentioned above, movement is very exciting!! and you can show movement with those frames. it doesn’t even have to be a lot of movement like one second they were there and now they’re in an entirely different spot, subtle movement is also very good! 

try not to reuse the same frame too much! it might end up looking very awkward 

also try not to just erase and add things to the body of a character as if it were some kind of paper doll stuck to a wall like this:

it’ll end up looking very stiff and awkward. instead, just redraw the character completely! make them move around a bit

you don’t always have to make things super clean

you don’t have to do clean lineart, just doodle a frame and make it easy to read for everyone on what’s happening. especially because drawing hundreds of frames is already so time consuming and not to mention stressful. do yourself a favor and not tire yourself out more than you should.

that’s kind of all the pointers i have. hope this helps!!!

RT Fan Gothic
  • A man sneezes while five other men are talking over him. You know exactly which one sneezed. 
  • Your brain is now unsure if someone has actually said this or if you can hear their voice in your head.
  • There is a cult for an editor. We are all members of said cult. We all bring our hands together above our heads. We worship this editor. PE/\KE. SPE/\K. P E /\ K E S P E /\ K
  • There is an infinite number of Adams. 
  • You click on a video that is 10 minutes long. You black out and come to hours later, watching a different, but similar video.
  • You are called a shizno and you feel insulted. You do not know what this word means, but you are insulted.
  • All your money is disappearing. You don’t know where it’s going, nor do you remember spending it, but merchandise keeps showing up on your doorstep. You have so much merchandise. Your room is covered with so many posters that they cover the windows. No way in. No way out. You only wear merchandise now. 
  • One man is constantly constantly shirtless and this is not questioned.
  • You wanted to watch a silly show about soldiers in a canyon. You didn’t know what you were signing up for. It wasn’t this. Anything but this. 
  • There are two pairs of Joel and Adams and no one ever knows which one a person is referring to.
  • There are screencaps of tweets on tumblr before the staff has even tweeted it.
  • Another hypothetical situation has been discussed. They must have hundreds of millions of dollars at this point.
  • A man is impregnated with an alien child, but this is fine. This is perfectly normal. This child grows up and plays on the basketball team. This is perfectly normal.
  • You feel the strange compulsion to add “as dicks” to everything you say.
  • There have been terrible, terrible things done For The Kids.
  • For some reason the dynamite is kind.
  • Certain state names make you cry.
  • One man is simultaneously the dumbest and smartest person alive. You do not question this.
  • A different man is at once a murderous dark god, a loving husband, and a gigantic nerd. This, too, is never questioned.
  • There are four of the exact same person. Not cloned, however. The clones are a different story we must never speak of.
  • Everything is also a gun.
  • You must pick a team in the great battle of red versus blue. Friendships have been ruined over picking the wrong team. There is no remaining neutral. 
  • No one thinks twice about giving a child access to weapon gun hybrids, nor do they reconsider letting them fight the monsters of the world. Clearly, a man has made many, many mistakes.
  • You do not know who this drunk man declaring that he is the cheese master is, but you accept his mastery of cheese.
  • We wonder why we’re here. We see it as one of life’s greatest mysteries.
PJO/HOO characters as things my friends have said (spring 2017 edition)
  • Nico: The gods got halfway through me and said "it's useless" and threw me in the reject pile yet here i am!
  • Sally: *notices divorce papers* OwO what's this?
  • Percy: I SCREAM BUT THE GODS WON'T LISTEN
  • Annabeth: Appreciate my science you ungrateful mango
  • Octavian: Do you fuk wit da war?
  • Paul blofis: I look like the creepy uncle at the barbecue who comments too much on your khaki shorts
  • Leo: FUCK PIZZA CRUST *proceeds to try and make a sassy exit but instead face plants into the ground*
  • Jason: *whispers* who am-*sings loudly* WHO AM I
  • Hazel: Like this vine if you've ever..... Died.... Inside Before
  • Reyna: I'm starting a new band called "Tragically Queer". You can find us collabing with panic at the dick in the near future.
  • Frank: Leave me and my bae alone you meme lords
  • Piper: might as well call me your waitress CUS I'M GONNA BE SERVIN UP SOME TEA FOR YOU TONIGHT LADIES
  • Will: My mom said i can't hang out tonight
Teacher picked on me for being autistic, I got her fired.

When I was in 4th grade, i had a teacher named Mrs. Seeles (Like Seals). She was regarded as one of the kindest teachers in our school, to everyone. Everyone but me. I had quite a few learning disabilities that made much of her class confusing and hard to keep up with, especially with the way she taught. She would go over one thing and then have a test on it the next day to see if we learned it, which i always did bad on. 

Now, I was no means a perfect student. But I did my work without complaining, I did homework like i should. My best friend at the time, Jack, would attest to this, as he liked to copy things off my work because he was a sneaky kid. We sat next to each other so it wasnt very hard to get answers from one another. We were both boys so it got a little excitable sometimes and rowdy (not to mention we like-liked each other)

Mrs. Seeles didnt like our friendship in the least, and would always snap at us, more specifically me because i was seen as an easy target. I would never speak up against it or try to do anything, unlike Jack who would demand that we werent doing anything wrong. So she decided to focus in on me instead.

Whenever I passed in class work or homework, she wouldnt grade it. I would get bad reports home saying how I wasnt doing what I was supposed to be doing. All in all, my parents believed her more over me because they never trusted me to begin with. So Jack and I plotted. 

Being only in 4th grade, it wasnt the best plan, but it worked. I would do my work, then Jack would write the exact same things as I did. We did this for months. I would recieve bad grades while Jack excelled in his. We got the papers back. We stored them away.

Near the halfway part of the semesters, We both brought this up to our parents. We called each other on the home phones and explained what had been going on. How Jack would copy my work and Pass it in just like I did, but I never got the credit. We showed them the papers, which were exactly identical. Mine were marked wrong, Jacks were marked right.

My parents were furious. Because of that teacher their child was failing the 4th grade. They threw a fit over at the school board council, gave them complete hell. Within the week, Mrs. Seeles was packed up and leaving the school.

The new teacher that replaced her was wonderful. I went from failing to As in weeks. 

Fun Fact: I actually stopped doing a lot of my homework because of Mrs. Seeles because why do it if it wont be graded? That problem developed heavily into my mind and its been a problem ever since. hope your happy. Graduating from High School this year, going into Theatrical Arts College.

some tips from your local depressed college student
  • cheap paper towels + hydrogen peroxide = acne treatment (just be careful not to bleach your eyebrows unless you’re into that idk)
  • use the acne face soap on your chest, upper back, and shoulders instead, since it doesn’t do shit for your face (or at least not mine)
  • no one is stopping you from bushing your teeth in the shower except yourself (just eliminating that extra step of going to the sink makes it so much easier for me)
  • did you know you’re actually supposed to put on stick deodorant at night??? It has time to absorb while u sleep or stare at the ceiling in dispair whichever works best for u
  • carrots and/or apples dipped in peanut butter = dinner (or just plain peanut butter but it helps to get a lil something extra if you can manage it)
  • if you give yourself an allowance of skip days (i’m talking like 3 or 4 max) then it can be easier to go to class if you remind yourself “i only have 2 skip days left, I’m gonna save them until I REALLY need them” (think of skip days like non-essential items in a video game - you could use them now, but what if you really need them during the final boss battle later on??)
  • the velveeta microwave dinners aren’t great but they’re cheap and better than some other options out there. the mac n cheese w/ meat ones can smell a bit like dog food but they still taste pretty good
  • if you like peppermint hot chocolate - save the after dinner mints you get at places like Chik Fil A and italian restaurants and such and then drop a couple in your mug before you put it in the microwave. boom. 
  • if you’ve got a sore throat, just take a spoonful of honey (or squirt it directly from the bottle to your mouth if you’re a heathen like me) and go find a hot drink
  • for essays - highlight/number/circle/whatever you want to do to make ‘em stand out the quotes you want to use in your paper, then go take a shower or get something to eat or just watch like a 15-20 minute video on YouTube and then come back to your paper, pop those fuckin’ quotes in the right order, and write in the smart bullshit around them
  • okay actually the one thing that I will spend a little extra money on is cough drops bc i get a sore throat all the damn time and the only kind i will buy anymore is Halls Breezers they taste like candy instead of koala shit my personal favorite is cool berry but the orange creme ones are good too honestly these cough drops have saved my life at least six times now
  • coffee is gr9 but don’t forget to have some water every day too dehydration is NOT FUN (speaking from very painful personal experience)

i like to think Pidge is very creative with her insults and has called her friends many things, such as: 

  • half priced almond
  • roasted tomato 
  • crumpled piece of paper
  • a hole in the pocket of society
  • muddy shoe
  • lost thumb tack
  • $2 cock block
  • malfunctioning motherboard
  • illiterate lamp 
  • she’s also definitely told lance to go ‘delete system 32′ at some point or another 
Faking It

Summary: You try to keep your relationship a secret, but Steve reveals everything with just a single glance in your direction. 

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Word Count: 1,640

A/N: I will probably regret writing this instead of my 10 pg research paper later. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this! xx | masterlist

Originally posted by performingxdreams


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Self Care

It’s Mental Health Month. May 1st. The beginning of it. I just want to post some tips on what I find useful when I feel anxious, depressed or lonely. Some tips on how to care for yourself mixed in here too. I know what it’s like to feel like nothing is going to work out and you feel like there is no point anymore. I still get sad from time to time but here is what I try to do to lower those horrible feelings. 


  1. Music 
    When I feel down I put on my chill playlist and listen to the songs. Not just recognize that the song is playing. I listen to every word, every beat, every instrument that makes a sound. I listen so hard that I forget everything else around me and forget everything that is going on in my head for a while. This actually really helps and especially if it’s a slow song, something that matches my mood. 
  2. Reading 
    Reading is one of my favourite things to do. I’m in love with words. And getting deep into one of my favourite books helps me forget for a while. Grab something to drink and maybe a snack, find a quiet and comfy place to relax and let yourself fall into a book. 
  3. Eat 
    When I feel depressed my appetite can go away pretty quickly. But if you don’t eat, you’ll feel even more tired and low. And that’s not good. So eat. Not junk food. Maybe a treat every now and again but make sure to eat healthy too. Fruit or vegetables. Maybe make some type of sandwhich or maybe eat a bowl of porridge. Whatever you want to make. But remember, not always junk food. And drink lot’s and lot’s of water. 
  4. Shower or bath 
    If you feel all ugh, and ew take a long warm shower or a bath full of bubbles. Taking a shower or bath might help you feel more relaxed and feel more taken care of. And keeping yourself fresh and clean will help help boost your system. 
  5. Fresh air 
    When I’m down, I get lazy. So the whole ‘take a long walk’ thing doesn’t go with me. What I like to do instead is open a window and stand there or take a chair and sit near there. I’m getting fresh air into my lungs which is good and I don’t need to get up and go outside to do it. Now getting exercise is a good thing to do too because it’ll boost your system also. But when you really can’t get up and walk far, just go to a window and read or listen to music.
  6. Cry 
    Yes crying is on this list. When you really need to let those tears out, just do it. If you’re in a place you feel comfortable enough to do it. Let it all out, for however long you need to. Crying doesn’t make you weak or a loser or whatever you think it makes you. It helps you. Instead of holding all those feelings in, you can let them out by crying. So just do it because a cry every now and again, will make you feel a little better. Hopefully. 
  7. Decorate and change it up
    This may be an odd one but it helps me. When I’m sad I’ll look up some quotes that I really like, write them on some paper and decorate the paper and stick it on my wall. Or sometimes I sift things around. If I think something in my room would look better in a different position then I’ll move it. I’ll maybe take some things down and hang something new up instead. Tidy my room too if it needs it. This helps because I’m focusing on other things. Where will this go? Does this look good on this wall? Things like that. Try it and see. 
  8.  Breathe 
    When I feel like I can’t breathe, I remember that I just need to take a minute. Look at my surroundings. What’s the colour of the walls? Breathe. What’s in the room? Breathe. What’s the weather like outside? Breathe. What’s my favourite food? Breathe. Do I have any plans this week? Breathe. Ask yourself some questions. Answer them and breathe. Breathe, breathe and breathe. Don’t let you make yourself small. Think bigger than what that stupid annoying voice in your head is telling you. Breathe. Because you’re worth it.

I hope these tips helped. I really do. And please, please REMEMBER… you are beautiful. You are so amazing and this world needs you in it. Maybe you feel like no one cares. But I guarantee you there is somebody out there who thinks the world of you. You are somebody’s moon. You’re that person who lights up the darkness for them. Don’t let your light go out. Stay strong and remember to love yourself and take care of yourself. You guys are more than welcome to ask me something if you need any advice or have any questions. The door is open and you are welcome. 

Some bitch-ass motherfucking FRESHMAN, who’s in my sister’s calculus class, gets 100% and DOESN’T EVEN TRY, JUST SITS THERE, CODING ON HIS COMPUTER, TOOK DOWN OUR SCHOOL’S WIFI. I COULDN’T LISTEN TO MY FAVORITE PODCAST ON SPOTIFY IN ART, COULDN’T GET ON MY PHONE, COULDN’T FUCKING TURN IN A PAPER THAT WAS DUE ON MY COMPUTER AND I NEARLY GOT HALF-OFF FOR IT BEING LATE. Like, what the hell??? You go here too??? This school is horrible without WiFi, the only thing that keeps me going is listening to that podcast in art class?? There’s so many thing you could do instead, like:

-unblock YouTube

-unblock Tumblr

-unblock Instagram

-hack the website again

-set the alarms off

-change people’s grades for a price

-expose our VP as a perv who didn’t actually have his account hacked and actually likes to watch lesbian porn

-play “All-Star” by smash mouth on the loudspeakers all day

-set every desktop background to Zootopia fanart

-expose the furries in our school

-write a new lesson plan for the Algebra two class

I could go on, but really, what the fuck man.

A Secret | SICHENG

so you’ve chosen a secret for your seven minutes in heaven? collab with @versigny and co, choose another path here

Genre: frat/college!au | fluff | mild angst sexual themes

Member: Sicheng / Reader

Word Count: 10,400+

Warnings: language, references and usage of drugs and alcohol, sexual themes

Originally posted by taeflower

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anonymous asked:

How do you write Connor so well? Could you share some writing tips?

That’s really sweet of you to say. Honestly, it’s just me trying to pick up on every little thing we actually know about Connor and filling in my own interpretations of what they mean. We really don’t know that much about Connor. He’s only in the beginning of the play then throughout you get little snippets of his life from other characters…but it’s not that much to go off of. Even then, it’s how they saw him which can we a warped version of what he actually was. When I’m writing him, I try not to focus on Evan’s Connor because he’s only a projection of Evan’s own self. It’s important to remember that he’s not Connor. He’s Evan. That’s Evan’s mind talking to him using Connor’s face but it’s not Connor himself. He’s not a ghost coming back to talk to this random kid he’s interacted with once or twice. He’s 100% Evan’s mind projecting.

So then you have to focus on what you actually know about him. I’m gonna dissect it because I literally love analyzing characters it’s my favorite thing in the entire world. You didn’t ask for this but I’m doing it anyway yolo (im sorry).

The first time we meet Connor is at the breakfast scene. What do we know about that scene?:

  • Connor doesn’t want to go to school.
    • It is the very first day of his senior year. Not many people skip the very first day of school. It’s supposed to be a fairly easy, chill, exciting day to most people. Getting to know your teachers, seeing friends, catching up with people, not much work etc. I’m going off of my own school experience to analyze this bit: Skipping/Not wanting to go/Having anxiety over going doesn’t mean you’re lazy and don’t like work. It generally means that you feel uncomfortable, anxious, lonely, scared about having to navigate the world of school and your peers. Connor doesn’t have friends. Going to school, sitting in class, doing group projects, eating lunch, doing anything in school alone and without friends is fucking hard. It’s awful.  It’s not a surprise he doesn’t want to go.
  • Connor is high.
    • Judging from typical school days, it’s probably somewhere between 6 - 7 in the morning. That’s early. That’s someone who wakes up and immediate gets high. AND it’s the first day of school. That’s someone who needs something to help them cope just to get through the day. He needs something to help him take the edge off of life because doing it without anything is a daunting thought.
    • Cynthia also says “I don’t want you going to school high Connor. We’ve talked about this.” Which implies that this a fairly regular thing for him.
  • Connor reacts negatively when Zoe speaks but ignores Larry.  
    • Okay so I love this bit because my psychology loving self adores this kind of shit. It’s amazing and beautifully done and asdlhfal;ksd
    • After Cynthia tries to get Larry involved with making sure Connor goes to school. Larry says, “What do you want me to do? He doesn’t listen. Look at him. He’s probably high.” Connor stays quiet. Then Zoe confirms Larry’s statement and says, “He’s definitely high.” And Connor responds with a “Fuck you!”
    • Every time Larry speaks Connor stays quiet. His body language in the scene involves Connor resting his arm on the side of his head and, by doing so, is putting some sort of physical barrier between his facial expressions and his dad sitting next to him.
    • If I recall correctly, I don’t think Connor ever once actually speaks to his dad??? Larry talks at him but Connor never responds. No words are ever spoken from him to Larry. (I think, I could be wrong)
    • SO the point here is that Connor doesn’t say shit when Larry is nagging at him but the second Zoe opens her mouth to do the same he immediately responds with a big “fuck you” and puts his head down on the table.
    • The way I analyze that scene is that the fuck you was really meant for Larry, that he was pissed off at his father, but he took it out on Zoe. He redirected his anger onto his sister because it’s a lot easier to take advantage of a younger sibling then the head of your household.
    • Judging from how Zoe speaks about him later in the play, he probably redirected a lot of his anger onto her and it really messed her up.
    • Him not speaking up to Larry could also mean that Connor is potentially afraid of him?

The second time we see Connor is at school with Jared and Evan:

  • Connor cares what people think about him and he’s bullied. 
    • Jared says, “Hey Connor. Loving the new hair length. Very school shooter chic.” Connor responds by staring at him with this perplexed look of wtf dude seriously. He was just nagged at home, forced to go to school when he’s clearly uncomfortable about doing that, and then he gets there only to be antagonized by Jared who pretty much refers to him as someone who slaughters innocent people.
    • His ‘wtf dude’ look is totally justified in my opinion.  
    • Jared then says that he was just kidding and that it was a joke. To which Connor replies with “Yeah no it was funny. I’m laughing can’t you tell.” His tone starts out light and sarcastic. When Jared doesn’t respond, he steps closer to him and voice raises. “Am I not laughing hard enough for you?” He’s clearly offended by what Jared said.
    • Jared calls him a freak and walks away.
  • He gets bullied by Jared so he turns around and becomes the bully to Evan.
    • Like he did with Zoe, Connor redirects his pain onto people he know won’t fight back or who he views as weaker than him.
    • Evan nervous laughs when he’s left alone with Connor. Connor can probably see that Evan is scared of him and uses that to his advantage. He says the whole, “What the fuck are you laughing at? Stop fucking laughing at me?”” Stop laughing at me. Not laughing at what Jared said. But specifically laughing at Connor himself. Connor doesn’t want people laughing at him because he cares what they think about him. “You think I’m the freak? I’m not the freak. You’re the fucking freak.” He yells at Evan and pushes him to the ground.
    • People have all obviously analyzed all these scenes before. I’m not close to the first one to say it, but obviously, these are words he wishes he could say to Jared and Evan is the surrogate for his rage.

And finally we have the very last scene that Connor is in which is the computer lab scene:

  • Connor is apologetic after he loses his temper.
    • He sees Evan, who has clearly been crying. I think it’s unknown how long Connor was actually in the room with him/if he overheard the phone call with Evan’s mom. I’m assuming that Evan wasn’t actually speaking out loud when he was writing his letter, that it was more for the audience to know what he was writing. So if Connor had been in the room and listening, he could have heard Evan’s side of the phone call and seen him quietly crying on his laptop while writing something then print it out. Since he was near the printer, he took the paper to give to him. He didn’t have to do that. He wanted to.
    • I think he wanted an excuse to talk to Evan again after he pushed him. He probably felt bad. I feel like he views Evan as someone who’s harmless and unintimidating, which is why it was easy for him to channel his anger onto, but then he started to regret that choice, so he tried to reach out.
    • He never actually apologizes with words and instead tries to do it through actions. I bet you that Larry does the exact same thing too but Connor probably never realized or picked up on it. (I could do a full character study on Larry too omg he’s a great specimen to take apart and a fantastically flawed character like everyone else in the show its beautiful fuck)
  • He’s got a dark sense of humor.
    • When finding out Evan broke his arm from falling out of a tree, he replies with a “That’s the saddest fucking thing I ever heard.” But he doesn’t say it in a mean way. He smiles and laughs under his breath.
    • HE WAS TELLING A JOKE. He was trying his best to be nice to Evan and lightly joke around with him but I doubt they have similar styles of humor. I think it’s the only time Connor actually genuinely smiles too??
    • And Evan doesn’t really laugh. It’s more of a nervous “plz don’t hurt me again ur a lil scary” kinda laugh. So Connor backs off and changes the subject.
  • He’s observant.
    • He notices that no one signed Evan’s cast. 
    • He noticed that Evan has no friends hence the “now we can both pretend we have friends” line. 
    • He noticed Evan’s sad and alone so he’s making an effort to be nice to him. 
    • He noticed that he printed a piece of paper and that it would be a good ice breaker. 
    • He’s quiet and he notices things. It’s subtle but it’s there. I bet you Connor secretly knows everything about everyone. 
  • The boy just wants a damn friend. 
    • He’s lonely. Evan’s clearly lonely. Why not try to befriend him?
    • He’s signs his cast super big so it takes up the whole arm. For one, it gets a laugh out of the audience. But two, he kinda knows that no one else will sign it so he makes his name extra big so everyone will see and know that both of them aren’t alone/friendless.
    • This is also interesting to me because I wonder if Connor knew he was going to kill himself then. Often times suicide is something people plan out ahead of time. I wonder if he knew what he was going to do and I wonder if writing that on Evan’s arm was a secret way for him to leave something semi permanent behind. A way to be sure that someone would remember him when he’s gone. If that’s the case then that was some powerful shit to slip in and it hurts my soul.
  • He’s angry and paranoid and suicidal.
    • So obviously Connor reads Evan note to himself, thinks it’s about him, freaks out and leaves. That’s the last time we see Connor.
    • I’ve looked at this scene in a few different ways. The first way I see it is that Connor could of had symptoms of paranoia. He sees his sister’s name and his first thought is that Evan did this in a malicious manor. He views people as out to get him. It doesn’t take much to set him off. He’s got a lot of anger inside of him that he doesn’t know how to release in a healthy way so it ends up with him blowing up over the slightest little bumps in the road.
    • The second way I view it is a little different. If I’m thinking about my point before (about him already having plans to kill himself) then I wonder if he was just using the paper as an excuse to get angry and leave. He had already made his mark using Evan’s cast. His name was there. He technically didn’t need Evan anymore. Thus he “freaks out” over this paper and it helps fuel his desires to end his own life. As someone who has been suicidal in the past, I understand wanting to find every excuse you can to help end things, to justify what you’re doing, and to push people away. It’s a super fucked up way of thinking but, when you put yourself into that mindset, I don’t think it’s that crazy of an idea.
    • “Is this about my sister? You wrote this because you knew I’d find it.” (Hinting at the paranoia point) “Yeah you, uh, saw that I was the only other person in the computer lab.” (Mentally trying to convince himself to believe that Evan did this on purpose, even though it goes against everything he already knows about Evan) “So I could read some creepy shit you wrote about my sister and freak out, right?” (here comes the anger) “Then you could tell everybody that I’m crazy! Right?! Fuck you!” (cue the storm off)
    • And then we hear from Evan that Connor hasn’t been in school for three days.
    • And eventually we find out why.

From everything that Connor, himself, has told us he’s deeply hurting. He’s quiet. Observant. He’s got many unchecked mental health issues. He doesn’t feel heard. He’s lonely. He uses coping methods to get by. He has little to no self worth. He carries around a lot of guilt. He acts out on people he know won’t fight him back. Probably because he needs to feel superior because everywhere else in his life he feels stepped on. He is both a bully and bullied. He had little regard for strong authority aka Larry. He craves personal connections but doesn’t know how to obtain them or keep them. He’s broken. So that’s how I try my best to write him.

THEN we have what everyone else tells us about Connor. This should all be taken with a grain of salt because everyone views people differently but their words shouldn’t be totally disregarded either. (Yes I’m going to go on longer even though you never asked for this I’M SORRY I CAN’T STOP NOW) So let’s see what little Connor character traits we can find out from other people that could be potentially used for writing him in the future.

The scene during For Forever tells a lot of about Connor through his family:

  • Zoe: Connor wasn’t very nice so that makes sense.
  • Cynthia: Connor was…a complicated person.
  • Zoe: No. Connor was a bad person. There’s a difference.
    • In response to finding out Connor pushed Evan. Zoe is shown to have no sympathy for her brother’s actions while Cynthia continues to make excuses for him. I see that as Connor having no mercy on his sister but probably playing his mom to his advantage with what he knew he could get away with.  
  • Cynthia: Did Connor tell you about the Harris’? We used to go skiing together, our families.
  • Zoe: Connor hated skiing.
    • Not a sports, activity kinda guy. Doesn’t like things involving social gatherings. Not friendly.
  • Larry: Somebody had to be the bad guy.
    • In response to reading Connor’s emails. This one is a little iffy in regards to Connor’s character. It’s more a Larry thing. Because I don’t know if Connor was actually aware that his emails were read or not but either way it shows that he was completely not trusted by his family. Also that pointing out again that Cynthia was probably a push over when it came to Connor and he knew that.
  • Cynthia: We used to go to the orchard all the time. We;d do picnics there. Remember that Zoe?
  • Zoe: Yeah I do.
  • Cynthia: You and Connor had that little toy plane that you would fly. [to Larry, with sad laughter] Until you flew it into the creek.
  • Larry: No that was an emergency landing.
    • This is big. Things weren’t always hell in the Murphy house. There were good memories. Sadly though good memories are often overshadowed by the bad ones. Connor seemed to cast a huge shadow over this family. But it is important to note that Connor and Zoe used to play together as children. Things. Aren’t. Always. Awful. Connor wasn’t a reckless beast. He can be written to be playful and funny and sarcastic and sweet. Just balance it out with the angst. People are complicated and have tons of depth so try to write them that way if you can.

Other things said at random points throughout the play…

Jared:

  • “Connor Murphy is batshit out of his mind. Remember when he threw a printer at Mrs. G in second grade because he didn’t get to be the line leader that day? 
    • Connor has had anger issues since he was a child too.

Alana: 

  • “Still can’t believe the terrible news about @ connormurphy. I wouldn’t say that we were friends exactly. More like acquaintances. We were in chemistry together. I’m pretty sure. Also he was in my English class in 10th grade. Almost positive. Yeah he was definitely in my English class. Three days ago Connor Murphy was here and now hes gone. If Connor meant something to you please retweet or private message me if you just wanna talk. At time like thees we could all use a friend.”
    • Honestly, this says way more about Alana’s character but it still mentions Connor so I’m adding it.
    • But what I do get from this was the Connor has/had a twitter (or some form of social media, but I’m assuming twitter since the “retweet” bit) and Alana followed him on it?
  • “He was one of my closest acquaintances. He was my lab partner in Chemistry and we presented on Huck Fin together in 10th grade. He was so funny. Instead of calling it, well, Huck Fin…[fades off]. Nobody else in our class thought of that.”
    • Again, speaks more to Alana’s character than Connors. But I also wonder if this is actually true or if she made this up in a similar fashion to Evan in order to put herself in the story…since she didn’t even recall if he was in those classes or not earlier.
    • BUT assuming that this was true, Connor doesn’t seem to care much for school. Or he could have been trying to make jokes in order to gain friends. If he worked with Alana on projects, her personality would have steam rolled over his. I think she would be the type of person he would sit back and let take control and tell him what to do then just go along with it.

Zoe: 

  • “Just because Connor isn’t here, trying to punch through my door, screaming that he’s going to kill me for no reason, that doesn’t mean that all of a sudden we’re the fucking Brady Bunch.” 
    • I mean…yikes.
  • “After all you put me through. Don’t say it wasn’t true. That you were not the monster that I knew”
    •  This shit just breaks my damn heart. You are not the monster that I knew is one of my favorite lines in the entire play. In Zoe’s story, Connor is the villain. He hurt her. He abused her. And no one did anything about it to protect her or stop him. I haven’t really had a chance to write too much of Zoe into my writings yet but I know that if/when I do, Connor is not going to be a kind character to her.

Larry: 

  • “We didn’t think Connor had any friends.” 
    • All they found with Connor was Evan’s letter. I wonder how many times he reread it, if at all, before he died. Do you think he calmed down and looked at it again through a different light? This time maybe seeing how depressed and unhappy Evan was too? I wonder if he found comfort in that at all and that’s why it was still in his pocket. Of course that’s purely speculation on my part. He could have just shoved it in there and forgot it was there. That’s the beautiful thing about this play, there’s a lot that the viewer can piece together and take away on their own. Things are never fed to you. They present them simply and let you take what you need from it.
    • Anyway, yeah, Connor had no friends. That point was already kinda clear though.
  • “I gave you the world. You threw it away.” 
    • Connor grew up in a well off family. They were rich. He literally could of had anything he wanted but he didn’t. I take that as Connor not giving a shit about material items. He probably has little regard for things. You could write that as him throwing and breaking near by items if he’s mad or simply tossing things around and not caring abobut them. Whereas someone who grew up poor, would be more likely to take care of their things because they know they can’t just get more.
  • “I didn’t realize Connor meant this much to people.” 
    • In his father’s eyes, Connor didn’t mean very much. He was probably able to pick up on that and it would affect his attitude and behavior to other people. If he felt he didn’t mean much to his own father, then why would he ever be special to anyone else?
  • “He left it in the bag with the tags still on.”
    • Larry’s weak attempt at reaching out to his son with a baseball glove. It was probably obvious to everyone that Connor was not a sports person. He probably hated baseball. But Larry likes it so he tried to force his hobbies onto Connor. It was received by Connor not even opening the gift. From Connor’s perspective, he could have taken that as a ‘wow my father knows literally nothing about me wtf’ where as Larry would have viewed that differently but this is not about Larry asd;kfja
  • “Your dad must feel pretty lucky to have a son like you.” 
    • Another great line in this play! It hurts my soul. Connor is a disappointment to his father. Larry wished Connor could have been something more than he was. Once again, this shit would weigh on Connor’s mind and fuck him up.

Cynthia: 

  • “I don’t remember the last time I heard him laugh.” 
    • That shit is dark yo. Connor doesn’t laugh around his family. He’s unhappy there.
  • “Connor didn’t get invited to any bar mitzvahs” [paraphrasing that quote]
    • Cynthia always had hope for Connor. I like to imagine Connor not being as nasty to his mother than everyone in the family. She really loved him and I hope he could feel that deep down.

And, of course, Evan: 

  • “Over the summer I found this yearbook thing that our class made in 8th grade. Most people did collages of their friends. But Connor’s was a list of his ten favorite books.”
    • One of my favorite bits I like to write into stories is that Connor liked to read. For a middle school kid to have ten favorite books, and care enough about them to put them into a yearbook, is kinda of special. Books are methods of escapism to many people and I like to think Connor is included in that group. 

OKAY IM GOING TO STOP THIS IS SO LONG I AM SO SORRY THIS WAS NOT THE RESPONSE YOU WERE LOOKING FOR I WROTE YOU A DUMB CHARACTER STUDY INSTEAD. THIS IS ALL HOW I SEE CONNOR SO IT’S HOW I TRY TO WRITE HIM YOU COULD SEE HIM SUPER DIFFERENTLY AND WRITE HIM DIFFERENTLY THATS WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT WRITING

Humans Are Weird

CONCEPT:
Aliens have a sense of humor, but they don’t understand why humans use humor and/or sarcasm for EVERYTHING.
Signs of friendship, signs of hatred, sadness, happiness, stress, etc.- all humans seem to have a kneejerk reaction to say something terribly inappropriate.
And just imagine aliens getting so offended. Like, when humans gather and talk about past atrocities, chances are at least ONE person will crack a joke. (”Bush did 9/11!”; “The Salem Witch Trials were *hot*.”; etc.) and the aliens just being like ???? how DARE you disrespect those sentient beings’ hardships?????
And the humans going lol chill it was terrible but ultimately stupid.
And the aliens just growing more confused and somewhat offended as they continue to talk to humans.
(ALSO, trying to talk to humans about things that are wrong with them is near impossible- they will crack jokes about their depression, anxiety, PTSD, abusive home life, etc. and you won’t even know it’s an actual problem unless they flat out tell you.)
In addition, an alien race that keeps their sexual lives entirely private/sacred/just don’t talk about sex being BAFFLED by all the sex jokes we tell. And just basically having a conniption as we make innocent things seem so dirty (Alien 1: Wow, that’s big, Person 1: Not as big as this! *thrust* BOOYA! *People going “OHHHH” in the background. Someone screams “Kobe!” and successfully makes a was of paper in the trashbin. The disgusted aliens are, once again, reluctantly impressed*)

Feel free to write a short story-thing to this (please do). I might write something, but sci-fi is NOT my area, and I’m just very overwhelmed. But yeah, humans and aliens and robots, my dude. (ALSO, people with blue eyes are technically mutants. Double also? Humans have a mutant gene where we’re bone with five fingers instead of the six we apparently should have; although the six is almost always not very useful/difficult to maneuver.) 

things i wish i could tell my parents

you tell me that i should have an idea of what i want to do with my life, then crush my dreams when i finally figure it out.

you tell me that i should love myself, then insult me with everything you have when i screw up.

you tell me that i should be happy with my body and then tell me that i’m only “not hungry” because i’m trying to lose weight.

you tell me to love the way i look but try and get me to wear makeup and change the way i look.

you tell me to be accepting and love everyone but shun me when i have friends that aren’t the same race, gender, or sexuality as me.

you tell me to use my words but then call me weird for expressing myself with words on paper instead of verbally.

you tell my to speak up but you never listen.

you tell me to be patient when you have no idea how to be patient with your own children.

you tell me you don’t have favorites but then force me to stop doing my homework to cook while my brother who is failing all his classes wastes his life away on video games.

you tell me to make sure my brothers do the right thing but then turn a blind eye when they’re not.

you tell me that making money matters more than being happy with what i want to do when you’re not only broke, but unhappy.

you tell me that i’m only human, that i’m not perfect, and that i need to calm my “ego”, when you make me feel worthless for being human and making mistakes.

you tell me to lose weight even though i’m the only one in the family within the “healthy” weight range.

you tell me to smile but all i see is a frown mirrored on your face.

you tell me that anger is not good for me when you get angry over the simplest things, causing me to be angry as well.

you tell me that depression will get me locked up in a mental hospital but you do nothing to help me.

you tell me that you love me but you show it in ways that are abnormal. in ways that make me feel like i don’t belong.


i see all of these posts about how you should “love your parents” and “treat them right”, but what about posts for people with toxic parents and family? i do love my parents, i do. and when i’m rich and successful i’m going to be the one taking care of them. 

please, if you feel like your parents REFUSE to understand you (not that they don’t understand you) talk to someone. your voice deserves to be heard. and if it won’t be by your parents, let it be by someone who wants, who demands to hear your glorious voice.

23 June 2017 || 

Hi!

Over the last few semesters, I developed my own system of revising for exams. I’m a visual learner and writing things down in an organised way helps me loads. I posted pictures of my exam notes several times before (here, here, here, here) and I use this format for basically every class that requires an exam instead of an essay - so far: calculus 1, real analysis, maths education, english literature, and teaching german as a second language. Many people really liked this format, so here’s a step-by-step guide on how I do it! 

1. Supplies

I use:

  • blank A4 paper
  • one sheet of A4 grid paper 
  • a black gel pen by Kyocera (you can use any pen, but it should have a somewhat fine tip and should dry easily)
  • Stabilo fine liners point88 (one or two matching colours per class)
  •  a set square (imo that works better than a ruler)
  • a Faber-Castell 0.7 Grip 1347 pencil in 2B (you can use any pencil you like, but it should be HB or 2B because you need to erase it later)
  • lecture notes/slides, class notes, homework, basically any info that is necessary for the exam

2. Setup

  1. Place the grid paper underneath the blank one. Make sure it doesn’t move when you write (if necessary, use paperclips to hold it in place). 
  2. Draw margins and aid lines (in pencil - you’ll erase these later). Measure them out so they’ll be the same on every sheet. I usually do approximately 1cm margins left, right, and bottom, 2.5cm margin at the top for title and subheading, and three columns: left one with a width of 6cm, middle one with 5cm, right one with 6cm and 0.5cm blank space between them. (The grid paper underneath will help.) You can also only make two columns - four columns is gonna be very hard though because that won’t leave you with much space. 
  3. Every time you have a list, bullet points, step-by-step guides etc, indent the bullets by another 0.5cm (draw another aid line for this). If you have sub-bullets, indent them another 0.5cm and so on. 
  4. I use colours for bullet points (the actual points /arrows /numbers/ whatever), important names, something that I’m defining, subheadings, and important dates. 

3. Content

  1. Start writing your notes. Make them as condensed as you possibly can without leaving important points out. I try to go for one A4 page per lecture (aka around 28 powerpoint slides or more on one page), but sometimes I’ll also end up with two.
  2. Use abbreviations for words you use a lot, e.g. “+” for “and”, “p.” for “problem”, “str.” for “strategies”, “lit.” for “literature” etc. 
  3. You can absolutely include important diagrams/graphs etc. Either print them out in the size you need or draw them by hand and in the colours you need. If it doesn’t fit in one column, spread it out over two columns and continue the separated columns underneath/above. 
  4. Make your bullet points mean something. Use numbers, arrows, flags, lowercase letters, uppercase letters, dots - each can have a different meaning. Are you writing something where the order is important       (numbers)? Are you giving examples (dots)? Are you mentioning separate important key points (flags)? 
  5. I wrote my last summary page for maths education today and stopped the time - I needed 50 minutes for one lecture with 27 slides (new material because I hadn’t been there), including a small chocolate break. 

4. Final Touches

  • Check if the ink has dried. Check again. 
  • Carefully erase the pencil aid lines with a good eraser. make sure you don’t wrinkle the paper (unless you don’t care about that sort of stuff haha)
  • If you want to, you can highlight key words (or whatever you like). 
  • Number your pages if you’ll write several. I always write down the number of the lecture (session 1, session 2 etc) in the subheading. 
  • Optional, but I do it: Make a copy of your sheet that you carry around with you. Nothing is as frustrating as spilling coffee over your revision sheets. Put the original in a plastic sleeve and keep it in a folder or binder somewhere, and study/revise only with the copy. Especially useful if you have others quizzing you with your summaries and they don’t care if they rip/wrinkle/ruin them lmao 

I hope this was somewhat informative! You can tweak it of course, depending on what class you have and what will be on the exam. I hope you’re having a nice weekend! :) 

🌻 How to be happy - for the struggling student  🌻

We all know being a student is hardwork and getting into a bad loop can drastically decrease our happiness; reducing both our positivity and productivity. Here are my tips to improve your happiness!

[disclaimer: I realise due to mental health conditions, it is not as easy as this to over come it but hopefully this will  help] 

Change how you think

  • This sounds hard to do, and it will be at first, but when you catch yourself thinking in a damaging way, about yourself and others, take a step back and reconsider. Instead of thinking “I wish I was as clever as her”, think “I am going to work hard to be as clever as her”. A subtle change in wording can change the way you think to motivate yourself. By turning that negative to a positive, you can vastly improve your life and will soon become second nature.

Healthy body, healthy mind

  • Science has proven exercise releases dopamine, a happiness chemical. Try exercising 5 minutes a day in your room, and increase this if able. Another way is to do a sport. Not only will the physical sport aid you in happiness, meeting new friends with the same outlook will also help. You can also try yoga and other, more relaxing sports. Another thing to focus on is your water and food consumption. Try to have a colourful diet and keep a large water bottle on you at all times and get enough sleep!

Keep busy

  • By having nothing to do, you can easily fall into sadness. To stop this, I recommend to keep busy (please note that you still need personal relaxing time). You can do this by meeting up with a friend, taking up a new hobby such as art, programming, reading, acting or singing. Try to do at least one thing a day. When you get home from school, you might feel like sitting and doing nothing till the next day, but when you realise how much time you actually have, try to do something productive.

Surround yourself with positivity

  • Cut out anything in your life that brings you down. Such things include toxic friends, drama youtubers and reality tv. By doing this, you remove as much negativity in your life as possible and does not fuel any temptations to be sad. Instead, I suggest you to surround yourself with positive people. Some youtubers I recommend are: Doodle date and Drawing with Jazza for art, Unjaded Jade for school and life and Kick the PJ for… weirdness. I find these people exude happiness and don’t drag you into the negatives of life. 

Realise your cleverness does not determine your  worth

  • Nothing, not even a grade on a paper determines your self worth. People are good at different things, but not being the best at something does not mean you are worth less. You as a human, provide a different way of thinking to everyone else and can contribute something that the “best” person can’t. You can strive for perfection, but your worth will always be based on the joy you can bring. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get into your dream school or job because there will always be something better out there for you. A good motto to try to live by is  “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein

Improve others lives

  • By helping others, you will help yourself. You can do this by volunteering. This is usually easiest in the holidays but you can also do it on the weekends or after school. Look up local charities in your area and send them a quick email. I personally volunteered at my local library to talk to the kids about the books they are reading and by encouraging them, I could literally feel myself become happier. I also know many that help in care homes or with disabled children. This gives you the ability to see how important your life is and the change you can make to the world.
BTS REACTION to cheating

A/N: i wasn’t sure if you wanted the S/O to be the one cheating, or the members. So, I chose the members. Hopefully that was what you were looking for!

GOT7 version here

Jin

He messed up. He knew he messed up the second he saw your watery eyes, and red nose. He hurt the one person who made him happy. You were his princess, and he cheated. He was disappointed in himself, unable to control the tears rushing down his own cheeks. He didn’t deserve you, and watching as you cried and screamed in his face, he knew he really, truly fucked this one up. He knew he couldn’t keep you anymore, and that made his whole entire being fall apart as he went down on his knees, begging you not to leave him. But as you packed your stuff in a hasty passion, he knew this was it. You told him you loved him, but this would never work after this. And you left. You left him, leaving him as he cried, and cried.

“Y/N, please! I won’t do it ever again! Please, don’t leave me.. I love you. I love you. I love you! So much, Y/N… Please..”

Originally posted by lavender-kills

Yoongi

You were screaming at him, crying your eyes out. He had never felt more angry with himself than in this very moment as he watched as you cried. He was the reason you were crying. The reason you doubted his love for you. He was the reason that you were so hurt. And he could never forgive himself for that. He knew you deserved better and couldn’t come up with any excuses to get you to stay. So he would just let you leave him. He would suffer in his own pain, knowing you would find your love elsewhere. You deserved that. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep you, no matter what. And that thought hurt him more than anything, as tears of his own ran down his cheeks. He would kiss you lightly, looking in your eyes. He loved you. He was in love with you. And he messed everything up, all for someone else. When you flinched away, saying goodbye, he lost it. He started screaming, throwing stuff around your once shared apartment. He was crying, letting his emotions run wild. He ruined himself. But, most of all, he ruined you. And that would forever stick to his brain; your tears, your screams.. He would never forgive himself.

“I love you.. Please, remember that.” “Fuck! Why the fucking hell did I ever cheat?!” He sobbed, “Y/N.. I’m so sorry..” He whispered to himself.

Originally posted by bunnysenpa1

Namjoon

The room was silent as you cried softly to yourself, and he knew he really messed up this time. Nothing could change what he did, no matter how much you both wanted to change it. He was hurting, his own tears threatening to fall from his eyes. There was no shouting, so screaming. Just silent cries as you gathered your things, and kissed his cheek with a soft ‘goodbye’. He had no idea how the both of you were so calm. There was no bitterness, no anger. Just sadness, and tears. And he knew that was worse than being angry, He knew your silence hurt more than your words. It was the most painful goodbye for him. Having to watch you leave, knowing he couldn’t do anything to get you to stay with him.

“Please remember, Y/N. I will always love you, forever. I am so sorry I caused this much pain..”

Originally posted by joonjuly

Hoseok

He was already in tears before you were as you silently cried while packing your stuff. You couldn’t find yourself to get angry with him, no matter how much you wanted to be. He never once showed that he would ever be unfaithful to you, until this very moment. He couldn’t believe that he actually cheated on you. Even while being in his drunken state last night, he just couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he left with someone else that wasn’t you. That he was intimate with someone, that wasn’t fucking you. He cried, sobbing helplessly while begging you to stay. But he knew that would never be enough to get you to stay with him. It would never be enough to keep you. After all, actions speak louder than words.

“Please, Y/N, please! I need you, I-I really fucking need you in my life!” “I’m so sorry, Y/N.. I.. I never meant to hurt you like this. I never meant to hurt you ever.. I love you, so much..”

Originally posted by featureless-spy

Jimin

When you told him you knew that he cheated on you, he froze all movements as he turned around to face you. Your eyes were already red from crying so much, and he knew just how much he screwed up. You started to scream at him, crying as you hit his chest in anger and sadness. When you finally stopped, his arms enclosed around you, you quickly moved away from him. You couldn’t stare at him without having the image of him and another person inside your head. The image of the both of them kissing. Your eyes watered all over again as you went to pack your stuff, determined to leave. He wanted you to stay, but he knew it was inevitable that you were going to leave him. He couldn’t say the right words to get you to stay, and he knew that. But he was sure to tell you that he loved you, and only you. No matter how much he knew you wouldn’t believe him.

“I know you would never believe me, but I promise you that you’re the only person I will ever love. The only person I do love. I am so sorry, Y/N.. I love you, so much..”

Originally posted by jimiyoong

Taehyung

Your bodies were tangled in limbs as you listened carefully to his heartbeat, knowing it would be the last time you would ever hear it. You couldn’t help the tears threatening to fall in your eyes as you carefully slipped away from his grip. He was sleeping so perfectly, and you wondered how he could do that. How he could sleep soundly, with knowing he cheated on you. He had no idea you knew he cheated, which would just make it easier to leave him that night. You got dressed, grabbing the note you wrote beforehand from your pocket, and placing it on his nightstand. You softly kissed his forehead, sobbing quietly, before leaving. When he woke up and didn’t feel you beside him, he knew immediately that something was wrong. You were always there in the mornings with him. Panic soared through his body as he saw that the very little things that you had in his apartment, were gone. He went to reach for his phone, but found your note on the nightstand instead. He read it, your handwriting written perfectly across the paper. He cried, only imagining how many times you did too while writing it. He was upset and angry with himself. How could he do this to you? He threw the paper across the room, sobbing.

“Fuck.. Shit, fuck, shit!” “I’m so, so, so sorry, Y/N..” He spoke to himself, knowing you were gone, “I love you.. I love you, I love you.” He whispered in between sobs.

Originally posted by chokaivlicious

Jungkook

He felt so guilty, and couldn’t stop himself from crying when you said that you already knew he cheated while he was about to tell you. It took everything in you to stop yourself from wanting to hold him and comfort him as he cried, saying how sorry he was. He tried his best to hold back his tears, but he knew just how much he couldn’t the second you started to cry as well. Your pain affected him so much, especially since he was the one to cause your pain. You were nothing but sweet to him, nothing but wonderful. And he threw all of that away by cheating on you. He loved you so much, and he knew he wasn’t ready to give you up yet. But there was no going back. You were already leaving him, saying how you loved him and cared for him, but this was all you got in return. He cried, falling to the ground as his whole entire being fell apart.

“I never planned on hurting you.. I.. I love you so much.. I can’t really say much..” “Please, Y/N.. I’m so sorry. I can never say how sorry I am. I love you, I always will..”

Originally posted by baebsaes

the way homecoming Should Have Ended
  • the pain of jeremiah’s actions stings almost as much as the fact that kara knows this feeling well. she wants the betrayal to burn its way down her spine, but it doesn’t, not when she’s been hurt so many times before.
    • if anything, this is a different kind of pain than true betrayal. it is dull, a constant ache, not a seeking one. it’s a pain that says i’m here, i’m always here, i’m always here
  • sometimes when the anger is too much, when it presses down too hard, she flies. sometimes she screams. sometimes—she cries
    • these times, the moments where she curls up on her couch and just lets go–they are rare, born only from the most desperate of dashed hopes
  • there is a knock at the door, and kara mutters something about unlocked– come in. she does not spare much thought to the figure at the other side, too exhausted to lift her head, x-ray the door. whatever she is expecting, it is certainly not lena, carrying a small paper bag
  • “you had to miss lunch today, and well, when i miss lunch, that means i’m too busy to eat, so i wanted to stop by with some d—”
    • in any other moment, lena’s rambling would be endearing. in any other moment, kara would be blushing furiously by now, stumbling, falling
    • in this moment, her breath catches in her throat, comes out as half a sob. she wipes her eyes, a futile gesture, and tries to smile like lena hasn’t just walked in on her sitting and crying, alone on her couch
    • (of all the people, of all the times. kara almost wants to laugh at the universe for being so against her)
  • “i, uh– well, you’re right, i didn’t eat. thank you,” kara says. lena wavers for a moment before shaking her head, stepping forward once, giving kara a chance to rebuke her
    • it would be as easy as sorry, i kind of want to be alone right now. lena is expecting it–who would want a luthor as a source of comfort?–but the words never come
  • so she sits next to kara, tense and unsure, but then kara is sniffling and leaning into her, and lena wraps her arm around kara’s shoulder and pulls her close
    • it is, after all, what kara would do for her
  • they sit like that for some time, silent save for the occasional trembling breath
  • eventually, kara breaks the silence: “my father back on–” she swallows, hard, shakes her head a bit. “my father made the medusa virus. he created it, and when i found out, i was… i was so angry. i had loved him, believed in him. and he had created that? and my adoptive father here he… he betrayed us too. today. he came back, but he–”
    • lena knows kara is supergirl, has known since the moment kara danvers walked into her office for the first time, hot on the heels of clark kent. but the confirmation, uttered with so much trust, so little fanfare, makes her heart clench painfully
  • “it still hurts,” kara says. “even– even though it’s happened before. it still hurts”
  • “it’s because you care,” lena says softly. “you care so much about everyone, and you trust, and you love. that’s not a bad thing. that’s an incredible thing, kara”
    • she wants to say more. she wants to say i never believed i was a good person until you came into my office and sat on my couch and now– now you are doubting yourself, and oh, i wish i could show you the same thing you showed me
    • she wants to say i love you but she’s not sure about that yet, though she is becoming increasingly confident by the day
  • kara leans back so she can look at lena, bites her lip at the way lena is looking down at her with so much righteous affection, like she would take on the world to prove the truth of her words. it is the same look she gives lena. “do you mean that?”
  • lena does not answer. instead, she reaches for the paper bag she had placed on the table earlier. she holds it up for a moment, waits for kara to understand
    • kara brought donuts when lena needed trust, needed love. it is her turn to return the favor
  •  “i figured you could use a donut. you do eat donuts, right?” lena says. kara stares at the bag for a beat, then she looks up
  • finally, she smiles. “well, i’m not human, but—”

So, my daughter loves horses. She loves to look at pictures of them. Movies of them. Cartoons of them. Having little figurines and all that…so I decided to make a faux taxidermy horse head. Here we go.

Got a picture for reference. A beautiful animal, I have to say. Stunning.

How to get started? Since we keep chickens, I got some chicken-wire, which is soft enough to shape and cut.

Pretty rough, but it will do. Oh, and I decided to make a unicorn instead, because, well, im a nerd.

Next! Time to tune-in my paper-mache skills. Hahah just kidding, it’s literally the easiest thing to do, just takes some time, since you have to wait for it to dry between layers.

*after several layers and days* SO. This is still very rough, but you got the idea about what’s where and how it will look. From now on, my job was to make it look like an actual horse head :D

Yay, she/he got eyes and nostrils and…sad looking ears and all! R.I.P. Dawid Bowie.

Since I was happy with my “sketch”, I got out my modelling paste and an my trusty butter knife. I love those little marks the knife makes on the paste <3

Okay, I lied. I was NOT happy with those tiny ears I made, so I used some paper-tape to fix it up and make them bigger. Time to get painting. Took out my reference picture and POW

Well, that helped a lot. My best buddy in this part was a kitchen sponge, which turned out to work better than any brush.

She/he looked a bit naked, so I decided to make a mane for it out of some yarn I had laying around. It’s coming together nicely ^^ After finishing this, I spent a DAY looking at YouTube videos on how to braid hair. A DAY. Not kidding… -.-””

But it paid off!

Looking pretty :3 So now it’s time for the finishing touches, and of course, the framing. :)

:) My little one loves it and named it….Philip. Meet Philip, the unicorn.