the thing that nightmares are made of

10

All life is born from chaos. The world doesn’t always adhere to logic. Sometimes down is up. And sometimes when you’re lost…you’re found.

Because of this addition on the post by @tinkdw I felt compelled to write a short… thingy. :P 

Watch Over You (1264 words)

When Cas comes back as a human, he has nightmares. Dean doesn’t notice it at first; the bunker is huge and the walls are mostly sound proof and Cas – well, Cas always looks tired.

And Cas does his best to never let it on that he dreams, every night, of all the people he killed, all the mistakes he made, all the knowledge he has lost because his human mind can’t comprehend it anymore. Some days he wakes up screaming, others crying – often both. But he never talks about it because, well, if he’s learned one thing, then this: Winchesters don’t talk about their feelings. And he’s a Winchester now, at least this much has Dean made clear.

Dean notices when they’re on a case in Iowa, sharing the motel room because Sam got the short straw and has to observe a haunted house they’ve theoretically cleared but – better safe than sorry. It’s almost 2am and Dean’s not even remotely tired so he’s just idling around when a soft whimper makes him perk up.

It grows louder. At first it’s barely noticeable but after a while the whimper turns into groans (and not the sexy kind either), then small cries and Dean can hear Cas’ breath hitching before he lets out a shout. Dean’s up before he knows what he’s doing, standing at Cas’ bed. He’s sweaty and his face is distorted into a grimace; without thinking, Dean grabs Cas’ shoulder and shakes it.

Cas sits up almost immediately. “I didn’t -” he stutters. “I didn’t want -”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dean says softly. “It was a dream.” He’s surprised by the gentleness in his voice and swallows heavily; he shouldn’t turn this into a chick flick moment.

“Dean.” Cas recognizes him and immediately recoils; Dean’s hand is falling from Cas’ shoulder. “I’m sorry.” He sounds tired. “I – had a bad dream.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Dean answers.

“I’m sorry,” Cas repeats. “I didn’t want to disturb you. I can go sleep in Sam’s room if you want.”

Dean shakes his head without even thinking about it. “Dude, no,” he says forcefully. “That’s not a problem. I’m used to it. Sam had them all the time. Me… me too.”

“I – I may have had them a lot,” Cas admits. “In the last weeks. But I didn’t want to disturb you. And it’s not a problem, really. Don’t feel pressured into doing… something.”

“I’m not. Come on, let’s try to go back to sleep, okay? I’ll sit here a bit. Watch over you.” He points at the end of the bed.

Cas tilts his head curiously. “You always said I shouldn’t do this,” he says.

That makes Dean blush. “Well, that was – different,” he explains. He doesn’t exactly know how, but it - well it was. Most definitely. “You deserve it,” he adds as an afterthought.

Maybe it’s because Cas is too tired to argue or because he actually believes what Dean has said, but he agrees and lets himself fall to sleep shortly after. And it seems to help, very well actually – no nightmare in sight. Dean doesn’t fall asleep that night but that’s okay - he can sleep in the Impala, let Sam drive. He’s always happy when he can.

After that, it becomes a habit. Of course, because Cas is Cas, he at first puts up a fight – but after the third night in a row where he needed more caffeine than humanly possible to even held his head up he realized that this is his best option.

So Dean stops sleeping in his room, instead watching over Cas every night. He doesn’t mention it to Sam because – it’s no big deal anyway, and it’s just until Cas stops having these dreams. He sets up a comfy chair next to Cas’ bed and it works. When Cas has a nightmare, he wakes him up, they go back to sleep.

No need to talk about it. Not that they don’t talk – actually they do talk a lot, sometimes for hours at a time. About everything, being human, their last cases, philosophical questions; sometimes Cas tries to lure him into a conversation about mathematical equations because he ‘doesn’t want his skills to get rusty’ but Dean shuts that down pretty quickly.

They do this for a week until Dean’s back and neck starts to hurt. He doesn’t say anything because he has enjoyed their nights together so much that he fears saying anything will threaten whatever fragile thing they have build together but Cas, of course, notices it anyway.

When Dean groans and massages his neck as he sinks into the chair, Cas sighs and pointedly looks at his bed. “My bed is pretty big, you know,” he says.

“Um,” Dean says. “Okay?”

“It’s just – I see that you’re hurting. And I feel bad. Because I – I feel like my happiness comes at your expense. I don’t - I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not, Cas. I’m just old and cranky and shouldn’t be doing this stuff anymore. But if I can handle a wendigo I can handle a fucking chair.”

“Well, you don’t have to.”

They don’t talk about it for that evening but when it’s 2AM and Dean wakes up with the worst crick in his neck that he has ever experienced, Cas wakes up and holds up his blanket as an invitation. “Come on,” he says and it’s not a plea, it’s not a suggestion, it’s an order.

So, of course, Dean obeys. He’s shaking and sweating at the prospect of sharing a bed with Cas, but he obeys. It doesn’t mean anything, he thinks. Cas is Cas. He just wants to be nice to me. It doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t sleep that night.

The next night, he’s in bed with Cas from the beginning. He almost doesn’t dare to move but he’s tired, so tired, and when he falls asleep he finds himself drifting closer to Cas; almost but not quite touching. They don’t talk about it afterwards.

The third night it all goes down. Of course he’s lying in Cas’ bed and of course he’s trying to keep his hands to himself but after talking for three hours and Cas’ eyes falling shut every few seconds now he just can’t help himself; he raises his hand and brushes a few stray hairs from Cas’ face.

When Cas opens his eyes almost immediately, he stills. “Sorry,” he says and puts his hand back, expecting – whatever, a shout, a ‘what the fuck are you doing you pervert’, a ‘leave my bed and don’t come back’.

Certainly not this. Cas takes Dean’s hand, putting it in his hair again. “It’s okay,” he says quietly. Hesitantly, Dean starts to caress Cas’ hair, watching with fascination when Cas shuffles closer, burying his nose in Dean’s neck. Far too soon his breath starts to even and he falls asleep completely; he doesn’t have any nightmares that night.

There’s no going back from this, and somehow Dean doesn’t want to. Soft touches turn into warm embraces turn into slow kisses turn into eager movements. He doesn’t look back; they don’t talk about it because, well, there’s nothing to talk about.

Except one thing, a few weeks later. “You know,” Cas starts quietly when Dean is running his fingers through his hair again. “I vowed to always watch over you,” he continues. “And then you said you would do the same.” There’s a short pause, then, very quiet, almost like an exhale. “Thank you.”

Cas doesn’t have nightmares again, but they still share a bed.

gosh I had this awful nightmare last night where the Voltron Twitter made this horrible video that was like “Lance’s top 7 pickup lines” and most of them were taken out of context like one implied he was flirting with Laika and the whole thing just majorly contributed to the reduction of Lance, a Latinx character, to a flirty stereotype boy am I glad it was just a dream.

anonymous asked:

I've had the same nightmare since I was a child. I walk into a room, and there is a sinister face in a wooden wall. It's like an upside down triangle. And from the wall, numerous writhing arms reach out towards a group of 12 people. They grab them, and the wall eats them (in a gross graphic manner). I have met two of these people, one being my uncle. Both of them are dead. Help me, please. I can't sleep because of this nightmare. The people never change.

An upside down triangle is a mockery of holiness and all things Godly and pure. It is an evil symbol…

I think that the graphic imagery is made to scare and disgust you.

12 is the number of wholeness, equalness, and completion.

I think you are being attacked by a demon. Check the ‘banish’ tag right away.

Storm In The Room certainly was an emotional roller coaster, but not in the way most of us were expecting. You have to know whenever you see one of the rooms of the temple appear, we’re going to be in for emotional whiplash.

Doubly so for Rose Quart’s room.

The one thing we have a tendency to forget is that the room seems to have one purpose: to show whoever possesses the Rose Quartz gem (aka Steven at this point) whatever it thinks they want. 

The room can only work with the information Steven already knows. Steven knows this. He says it several times. But given the circumstances, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and forget that. And the room? Just keeps on doing what it was designed to do. Steven wants to meet his mom?

Steven gets to meet his mom. 

Steven wants to play games with his mom? Steven gets to play games with his mom.

Steven needs reassurance? He’s told he’s wonderful the way he is and that his mother has been with him the whole time.

And it’s beautiful.

But it’s empty. 

Rose’s room holds no answers for him. It can’t tell him anything he doesn’t already know. The sudden reminder that his mother isn’t actually there is jarring. 

And the room, struggling to keep up with the sudden shift in Steven’s thoughts makes Rose dark, threatening and distant. She doesn’t answer any of Steven questions about Bismuth, Pink Diamond, the rebellion or her plans because the room simply doesn’t have the information to do so with.

Maybe they didn’t matter to you as much as hiding from the mess you made. And that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Did you make me just so you wouldn’t have to deal with all your mistakes?

Steven is smart. Steven is perceptive. He was born into a situation that no one, let alone a child, should have to deal with. He’s strong, he’s capable, but in so many ways he has no one who truly understands what he’s going through. He’s human and gem, and while this gives him the strengths of both, it also makes him totally unique and new. He has an amazing support system, people who would do anything in this universe to help him. But in some ways he will always be alone. 

He’s never met Rose Quartz, the one individual that was the catalyst for the rebellion and its aftermath. Steven is going from the bedtime story/ fairy tale Rose Quartz presented to him from Greg and the gems to the reality behind the legend- something decisively less fairy tale like. That’s something that happens to a lot of us growing up, but in Steven’s situation it’s so much worse.

He never knew the Rose Quartz everyone idolized, but grew up knowing that everyone expected him to be just like her.  But as he learns more about her, he finds that there was so much more to her. She wasn’t necessarily the kind, generous, wise, strategic genius warrior she was painted as. She lied. She didn’t think things through. She made mistakes. She ran from those mistakes.

Everyone around him expects him to grow up to be just like Rose, and he’s not even sure he likes her. Turning into her is both his dream and his worst nightmare. 

We don’t know all the reasoning behind why Rose decided to become/create Steven. I have no doubt that it was definitely a strategic move on her part. She knew that Steven would be capable of doing things she never could, that in whatever was coming from Homeworld, she herself would not be able to do what was needed to save both Earth and whatever gems would come their way.

But I also have no doubt that it was a labor of love, that she absolutely would want Steven to exist without having to deal with her problems, IF that was possible. Steven had watched the tape his mom made for him, so the room? It knew what Steven needed to be reminded of.

I get it. I know you didn’t want me to deal with your problems. But you’re a part of me now. I have to deal with what you left behind. 

Whether Steven’s creation was a strategic move on Rose’s part or not is a moot point. He’s here and he has to handle the problems she left in her wake. He’s growing up and he needs answers. And as he’s coming to find, those answers aren’t necessarily easy to deal with. 

But, when it comes down it, Steven isn’t alone. Maybe his support system isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. They love him, they love each other, and they’ll get through this together.

Sometimes what’s let behind isn’t so bad after all. 

10

I HAVEN’T BEEN ON TUMBLR IN FOREVER SO TAKE THIS AS MY APOLOGY- So yeah i made a ton of klangst :’) So here’s the gist: Keith’s fear is to be rejected by someone he truly loves (cough Lance cough). And so he had a nightmare where Lance had gotten a concussion and suffered from amnesia, which is what I’m calling this little thing lol (DISCLAIMER: I hand’t realized until after I had already sketched that the end dialogue is kinda from Dirty Laundry, and I’d like to note that that’s not what happened, I had just thought ‘oh hey this is really angsty I’ll put that in there until i realized ‘oh shit that already exists’ so yeah, sorry about that ;v; DO NOT STEAL/COPY/TRACE ANYOF MY ART: PLEASE GIVE CREDIT IF REPOSTED

3

heith week day 1: laughing/crying

hunk finds keith in the hallway after another nightmare in the middle of the night :/ then it’s a good wholesome snuggle sesh

help you forget.

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

derek hale x reader (smut)

warnings: smut, some dirty talk, oral. (male receiving)

prompt: you’re pining over scott while derek pines over you. he helps you forget scott in his own way.

AN: let’s just pretend derek is still in teen wolf and he never lost his alpha title.  i’m such a sucker for alpha hale right now. 

beacon hills was a beautiful town, strange but beautiful none the less. you’d lived here your whole life, fortunately you’d managed to go most of your life without knowing what truly lurked in the dark but in the end, you were exposed to it all and fighting things nightmares were made of was a daily occurrence now.

Keep reading

Send me a shade of color for my OC(s) to answer

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Maroon - What are you most passionate about?

Imperial - Are you in any position of power or authority? 

Ruby - Would you consider yourself impulsive or reckless?

Chili - Do you like spicy foods?

Brick - What are some things you dislike?

Rose - Would you consider yourself a romantic person?

Redwood - How tall are you? 

Wine - What is your opinion on alcohol? (and does it exist in your world?) 

Orange - What are some of your comfort foods?

Spice - Do you like to cook? Do you cook often?

Tangerine - What is your favorite fruit?

Peach - Are you generally a more gentle and soft spoken person or a louder and rougher person? 

Squash - Do you live in an agricultural setting?  If so, are you a farmer or something of the sort? What kind of crops do you grow?

Amber - Do you wield any sort of superpower? If so, what is it?  

Honey - Have you ever considered marrying someone? What is your opinion on marriage in general? 

Sandstone - Who in your life has been the most healing for you?

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Bronze - What is your favorite way to warm up when it’s cold 

Yellow - Are you an optimist or a pessimist? 

Dandelion - Would you consider yourself stubborn? 

Marigold - What types of flowers are in your setting? Do you have a favorite?

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Gold - Would you consider yourself more rich or poor, in comparison to the world you live in?

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Daffodil - Do you like trying new things? What is something new you’d like to try?

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Green - Was there ever a time in your life that you went through a period of growth? describe it. 

Juniper - What is the nature like in your setting? 

Shamrock - Do you believe in luck? If so, are you a generally lucky person?

Pine- If camping exists in your wold, have you gone camping? did you like it? do you go often?

Green tea - Does Tea it exist in your world?  If so do you like it, and which kind is your favorite? 

Fern - Would you enjoy running a flower shop? 

Seafoam - Are there bodies of water in your setting? Describe them if you can

Mint - Does Ice cream exist in your world? If so, what is your favorite Ice cream flavor? 

Laurel - Is there a major victory you’ve achieved in your life? if so, what is it? 

Emerald - If you could be immortal, would you want to be? 

Brunswick - Are you a person who is often jealous? what makes you jealous most often? 

Avocado - Are you a health nut or a fan of junkfood? 

Army - Do you have a fighting style? If so, what is it?

Olive - What is your Greek personality type? (sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, or melancholic)

Blue - Are you a creative person? How do you like to be creative? 

Peacock - Are you a more flashy person, or do you like to blend in?

Sky - What is your favorite time of the day?

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Cerulean- What is your favorite way to cool down in hot weather?

Baby (blue) - Would you consider having children? If so, how many?

Periwinkle -  Would you consider yourself to be a good parent? what do you think a good parent should be?

Denim - What is your fashion style?

Navy - have you ever been on a boat/sailing? does it exist in your world? did you enjoy it? 

Ultramarine - What is your favorite aquatic creature? (if they exist) 

Cobalt - Do you live in a world with freedom? Describe your opinion on the subject

Teal - What makes you feel most at peace? 

Turquoise - Are you good at communicating your feelings?   

Lapis - What is your opinion on religion and the afterlife? 

Aegean - Would you consider yourself a wise person? who do you look to for wisdom? 

Purple - Is there magic in your world? if so, describe how it works

Violet - What is your ideal date?

Lilac - How would someone win you over?

Lavender - what is a smell you really like? 

Royal - How do politics work in your world?

Eggplant - What’s the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?

Amethyst- What is your aesthetic?

Mauve - What makes you feel nostalgic? 

Magenta - What is your Zodiac sign? 

Pink - Are you currently in a relationship? if so, who is your partner? 

Watermelon - what are your favorite summer activities?  

Bubblegum - Are you a sassy or sarcastic person? 

Salmon - Do you have any health issues or physical disabilities? 

Blush - Do you have a crush on anyone? If so, who is it?

Cotten candy - Would you say you have a sweet tooth?

Carnation - Are you comfortable with PDA? 

Rouge- Do you have an unpopular opinion? 

Pastel - Do you prefer pastel, bright, neon, or dark colors?

Coral - Do you have a strong moral code? What are some moral things that you feel strongly about?

Fuchsia - Are you a generally playful or goofy person? Who or what makes you feel playful or goofy? 

White - Do you consider yourself a good person? What’s the best thing you’ve ever done for somebody?

Snow - Have you ever seen snow? Do you like it? What do you like to do in the snow? 

Frost - What do you like to wear in cold weather?

Bone - When was the first time you ever witnessed death? How did it impact you?

Cotton - What do you like to wear for pajamas? 

Cream - Do you prefer Tea, Coffee, or Cocoa? (If your world has those things. If not, what sort of hot drinks do you have?)

Coconut - What would be your ideal vacation? 

Pearl - What do you look for in a romantic partner?

Parchment - Do you like to read or write? 

Lace - What would you name your child if you were to have one?

Porcelain - Do you consider yourself a delicate person? Do you fall apart easily? 

Salt - Would you consider yourself a mean person? What is it like to fight with you? 

Ghost- Are you easily scared? What scares you the most? 

Ivory - Do you play any musical instruments? If so, which ones and how well? 

Chiffon - Do you prefer a larger and cleaner environment, or a smaller and cozier one?

Alabaster - What is the most recognizable thing about you? What are people most likely to notice about you when they first meet you?

Egg-nog - Do you celebrate Christmas? If so, what traditions do you have? Which are your favorite?

Ecru - Do you have curly, wavy, or straight hair? 

Beige - What kind of foods do you eat when you’re bored?

Tan - What is your skin color? Do you like it, or do you wish you looked different?

Buttermilk - Do you prefer pancakes or waffles? (if those exist in your world)

Oatmeal - What is your usual breakfast?

Linen - What clothes do you wear to work?

Sugar cookie - What reminds you of your childhood? 

Sand - Have you ever been to a beach? If so, what’s your favorite thing to do at the beach? 

Hazel - What kind of folklore/myths/stories are told in your family/community?

Sepia - Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?

Buff - Would you consider yourself to be fit, fat, or skinny?

Latte - Do you like milk in your hot drinks? 

Brown- Where do you call home? 

Mocha - How do you like your coffee? (If you like coffee) 

Cinnamon - Which of the “Cinnamon Roll” memes fits you best? (looks like they could kill but is actually a cinnamon roll, looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you, looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll, looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you, or sinnamon roll)

Tawny - Cats or Dogs? (or any animal for that matter)

Hickory - How smart are you? Would you consider yourself more book smart or street smart?

Leather - How “basass” would you say you are?

Brunette - If you could change your hair color, what would you change it to? 

Gingerbread - What is your favorite holiday? 

Penny - If you could make a substantial living doing anything, what would you do?

Chocolate - Do you like chocolate? If so, what is your favorite way to eat it? 

Chestnut - Have you ever ridden an animal? If so, which one? 

Umber - Who do you call your friend? How many Friends do you have?

Carob - What do you look for in a friend? 

Cedar - How old are you? 

Caramel - How much does sugar affect you? 

Mahogany- What is your moral alignment? (Lawful good, Neutral good, Chaotic good, Lawful neutral, True neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Lawful evil, Neutral evil, Chaotic Evil)   

Peanut - Do you have any allergies? 

Grey/Gray - Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert? 

Shadow - What is your biggest regret? 

Silver - What do you imagine the future to be like? 

Graphite - Do you like to draw? If so, do you draw often? What do you like to draw?

Smoke - Have you ever taken any drugs? 

Fog - Was there ever a period in your life when you were confused and lost? how did you get out of it? 

Fossil - Do you have any older relatives other than your parents? If so, how many? Do you like them? 

Slate - If you could erase any memory from your life, would you do it? If so, which memory would you chose? 

Cloud - What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about? 

Ash - Is there something or someone from your past that you miss? 

Iron - Have you ever used a weapon? Do you own one? If so what is it?

Black - What is the darkest thing you’ve ever done? 

Ebony - Describe your family

Onyx - What are your nightmares most often about? 

Obsidian - Do you suffer from any mental disabilities? 

Spider - What irrational fears do you have? 

Charcoal - on a scale of one to ten how would you rate your survival skills? 

Soot - How hard do you work to achieve your goals? 

Midnight - Are you a night or morning person?

Raven - Can you fly? If not, do you ever dream about flying? 

Ink - write your autobiography in one sentence 

Top Ward Mistakes I

These are some common reasons why wards, even powerful ones, fail at times. I have noticed these over the years, through my mistakes and others. 

Not enough layers: Wards are made of pure energy, and usually aren’t sentient- meaning they aren’t smart and usually don’t adjust to different attackers. Without the ability to adjust, attackers can get by with ease. Having multiple layers of wards helps prevent this. While layers will vary of course based on your needs, I always recommend three basic layers for a ward, going outwards to the inside: 1) non-detection, 2) offensive ward, 3) defensive ward. The reason for these particular layers being: an attacker can’t attack if it can’t find you. If they do find you, they are then dissuaded by a ward that attacks them. They will have to go through the ward that hurts them to even get to the ward that defends you, thus weakening them and making it harder to get through that final line of defense at the same time.

Too rigid: What shatters more easily when hit- a plastic case, or a rubber ball? The plastic case- why? Because it is super rigid and unable to bend; thus, just one concentrated hit could break through it with ease. This applies to wards as well- you don’t want your wards to be unable to bend- else they shatter under a concentrated hit. Being flexible doesn’t make a ward weaker- you can still have a super tough and thick ward that bends!

Not selective or specific enough: “Keep out malicious entities.” Okay, well what do you mean by malicious? Being as specific as possible is best when it comes to protections. Instead of just saying “malicious” how about- “those that would bring me nightmares”, “those that would harm me”. This also ties into the next point-

…From whose point of view?: Okay, you did it, you made your ward. “Keep out anything with malicious intent.” But the key is…who judges the malicious intent? A nasty entity could easily go, “this is good for me!” and bypass the ward. Additionally, an abusive entity who believes, from their point of view, that what they are doing is “helping” you, and thus not malicious, could easily bypass an unspecific ward. It is best to say something along the lines of, “Things I deem as a malicious intention.” That way, it is based on YOUR judgement alone, what YOU deem as bad, and thus it cannot be interpreted any other way by trickster entities.

A circular wall, or a sphere?: You made your ward- it’s selective, not super rigid, and you made sure the terms were from your point of view. And yet- it’s still easily bypassed! Bad Entities appear in your room, seemingly untouched by the wards. What could’ve happened? Well- this ability called “teleportation” exists. If your innermost ward is a circular wall- not filled in- then an entity could easily bypass your wards just by teleporting directly to you or directly into your space! To protect against this, you want your innermost ward to be like a sphere- filled in on the inside with protective energies as well. Thus, the constraints applying to the outer layers of your wards (no malicious intent from my point of view) are applied to your actual space as well- thus nullifying the teleporting ability, or dealing damage to any entities that manage to teleport inside anyways.  

Top 10 Btvs Quotes

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is without question the defining piece of media of my life. I watched it as it aired all throughout my adolescence and it profoundly shaped my life and self in so many ways from big to small (hell, even the way I talk and randomly slap together prefixes and suffixes as a phrase called for can be traced back to Buffy).

While it has its issues, the show taught me to believe in myself, to keep going, to treasure my weirdness and the strange and awkward things that don’t fit are the best things about me and what makes me me. It showed me that superheroes come in all shapes and sizes, with and without capes, in and out of the spotlight. It defined the kind of person I wanted to be and I know there’s a whole generation of people that feel the same.

In honor of the 20th anniversary here’s a list of my personal top ten most meaningful Buffy quotes. There are a billion and fifty amazing, quotable moments and these aren’t even necessarily my favorite. These are the ones that meant the most to me, the ones that stuck with me and I think of when I need them.

“No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away and what’s left?”
“Me”


“I’m the thing the monsters have nightmares about.”


"Seize the moment, ‘cause tomorrow you might be dead.”


“To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It’s-it’s… it’s not done because people deserve it. It’s done because they need it.”


“I made it up. I’m making it all up. So what kind of hero does that make me?”


Originally posted by i-want-to-b-found

“No guy is worth your life, not ever”


“When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman.”


“I guess I just realized how amazingly screwed up they all are. I mean, really, really screwed up, in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die… which they… they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They’re incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here’s the thing – when it’s something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they’re lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never… never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting too.”


“They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.”


Originally posted by amythegloriouspond

“The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.”

This is what “balancing the Force” looks like:

I wrote a 25-page paper on Star Wars arguing that “bringing balance to the Force” didn’t mean “the Jedi will be 100% in control” (and of course not the opposite) but bringing the two aspects of the Force into alignment, using Anakin as a case study. Brief recap of my paper:

  • EPISODE I
    • The Jedi literally don’t know that slavery still exists in the galaxy and are shocked when Shmi says “The Republic doesn’t exist out here… We must survive on our own.” So like… the fuck.
    • Anakin asks Qui-Gon “Have you come to free us?” and Qui-Gon says “No, I’m afraid not,” to which Anakin replies, “Why else would you be here?” Here we can see the innocence and goodness in Anakin juxtaposed against the moral ambiguity of the Jedi. They’re there for repairs on their ship - nothing more, nothing less. Witnessing slavery does nothing to change those priorities.
    • The Jedi take a child away from his mother, and when Anakin is (rightfully) scared for his mom, who has been left in slavery, the Jedi are still like well, you know, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, enforcing the laws against slavery seems kinda like a lot of work so we’re just not gonna get involved. That’s like… not quite what you would expect from the “Light” Side.
    • Anakin is literally a child whose mother has been left in slavery and, understandably, he’s kind of freaked out. Instead of acknowledging Anakin’s pain as legitimate and working with him, the Jedi take an oppositional stance, telling Anakin that “Fear is the path to the dark side” - a phrase that was much more apt in the Original Trilogy than it is here, where Anakin is only nine, and his fears are 100% rational.
  • EPISODE II
    • Obi-Wan asks Anakin if he’s sleeping poorly because of his mom, Anakin basically admits yes, and Obi-Wan says “Dreams pass in time.” Uh, Obi-Wan, I’m sure you have good intentions and all, but the problem isn’t in the dream world. Anakin’s dreams are a reflection of the actual, legitimate, very real danger his mother is in, and Obi-Wan’s response only dismisses Anakin’s fear and drives him further away from the Jedi Council. And, again, the Jedi could have fixed this entire situation by either rescuing his mother or actually trying to stop slavery instead of just paying lip service to the idea.
    • Anakin and Padmé fall in love, and Padmé is like “yo is this, like, allowed to happen for you??” and Anakin says “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life, so you might say we’re encouraged to love.” So… Taking a woman’s child so he can fulfill their prophecy and leaving that woman alone and enslaved on a desert planet is compassionate behavior now? Right. Sounds fake, but okay. Also, Anakin is literally pointing out the hypocrisy in that statement - so you can love humanity and people, but you can’t love a person? That’s super weird.
      • Falling in love is like… not really something you can help? Especially not the first time. Just, you know, speaking as the classic lesbian who has fallen for a straight best friend… just saying “don’t do that” is not really going to help. At all.
    • At this point, the Jedi have created a situation where if Anakin falls in love (as he is wont to do as a literal teenager who was not brought up in the Jedi Order of his own volition), he has to keep that love secret or a) risk expulsion from the Jedi and b) prove them “right” that he can’t be trusted. Which, you know, nobody wants to do.
    • Padmé tells him that he “had a nightmare again last night,” and Anakin says, “Jedi don’t have nightmares.” Yo, what the fuck. This kid is a teenager, his mom is on a desert planet and enslaved, and now he feels like he’s not even allowed to have nightmares? Which are not conscious? I get that the Jedi are supposed to have total control over themselves, but first of all, that’s a completely unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, much less a teenager, and second of all, that’s a real fucked up thing to imply on a mental health level. “You’re guilty, even for the pain that your brain is inflicting on you from childhood trauma in situations (i.e., unconsciousness) that you can’t even control!” Yeah, no. There is no way that could possibly go well. 
      • If Anakin is made to feel guilty for being scared or having nightmares or missing his mom from whom he was taken when he was not even ten years old, and Jedi are pointing to those feelings as evidence that he is dangerous and untrustworthy, he is put in a situation where he cannot admit that he needs help and therefore cannot access help. Like, just get the kid a shrink! And maybe rescue his mom! There are ways to address this and help Anakin stop having feelings, if that’s something we really have to do, without shaming him, which is gross and also distinctly unhelpful.
    • Anakin goes back to Tatooine to find his mom, she’s been kidnapped and tortured by Tusken Raiders, she dies in his arms, and he slaughters the Tuskens and vows to become so powerful he will be able to stop people from dying. Which, like, is not ideal - not condoning murder - but he’s also seen his mother for the first time in years, like at least half a decade, and he is a) completely overrun with survivor’s guilt and b) rightfully grieving and c) also rightfully pissed the fuck off that he finally sees him mom again only to have her die in his arms. Like, I’d be pissed, too. And you know what helps with grief? Talking it out!! Therapy!! Friendship!! You know what Anakin doesn’t have? Literally any of those things. He can’t admit that he’s grieving his mom because it would threaten his place in the Jedi Order. The Order’s strictness continues to place him in a catch-22 where admitting he needs help is already condemning him.
  • EPISODE III
    • Anakin beats Count Dooku in part because he is furious that Palpatine has been “captured” and taps into the Dark Side with that emotion. THEN, Padmé’s like “surprise, I’m pregnant,” and Anakin (again, understandably) flips the fuck out. He has nightmares about her dying in childbirth, and guess who he can’t go to for advice or help or even consolation? The Jedi!! Wow, this is going so well for everyone, what great policies we have here.
    • The Jedi Council want Anakin to spy on Palpatine, and Anakin (correctly) points out to Obi-Wan that this goes against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, and asks why Obi-Wan is asking this of him… to which Obi-Wan replies, “The Council is asking you.” So, you know, this doesn’t exactly endear Anakin to the Council, who have already been pretty shitty to him and are now seemingly hypocritical as well.
    • Palpatine says to Anakin, “Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you.” and yeah, he’s playing on Anakin’s confusion and suspicions and totally using him as a pawn here, but he’s also right. The Jedi have proven themselves to not have Anakin’s best interests at heart, even if they have good intentions. And they do fear Anakin, so, you know, that whole “non-attachment prevents fear” thing isn’t really working out for them either.
    • Palpatine tells Anakin that the Dark Side can allow you to control death, and Anakin (who, let’s remind ourselves, has watched his mother die in his arms) begs to know how so he can save Padmé should his nightmares come true and she die in childbirth. And, again, since he can’t go to the Jedi for any help with this, he feels he has no choice but to trust Palpatine.
    • Here we get to a real fun sequence of events. Palpatine tells Anakin he’s a Sith. Anakin threatens to kill Palpatine, but doesn’t, so he can maintain the possibility of learning how to save Padmé. He goes to tell the Jedi, who rush into action and don’t allow him to join them because they think his fear will cloud his judgment, ignoring the fact that a) they’re scared out of their asses too, and b) he literally just betrayed someone close to him??? for people who have really been nothing but shitty??? So I feel like Anakin’s doing surprisingly well rn and the Jedi are basically like, “Yeah, great, but also fuck you and stay here.”
    • Soooooooo, Anakin goes to save Palpatine (again, to then save his wife), and in order to save him he kills a Jedi. At this point, Anakin’s like “I’m completely fucked,” which is true (although he’s been fucked from the beginning because the Jedi suck), and he pledges himself to Palpatine because he doesn’t think he has any other option.
    • Okay, then he goes and murders a bunch of kids, so like. That’s not great. Not gonna condone that. This was A Mistake™. I think we can all agree on that. Moving on.
    • Obi-Wan and Yoda see footage of Anakin’s fun murder time and Obi-Wan goes to try to find and defeat Anakin. In order to find him, he tells Padmé what happened and then hides away on her ship.
    • Padmé talks to Anakin, flips out when she realizes Obi-Wan was telling the truth, and as she tries to talk Anakin down from his panic- and grief-fueled descent into insanity he says, “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother! I’ve become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’ve done it for you. To protect you.”
      • Side note, at this point I get annoyed because, like, Anakin, she literally Did Not Ask. Buddy, pal, friend, she specifically told you not to do this. I know your heart is in the right place, but like, this really could have all been prevented if you’d just listened to your wife. Why are the women in Star Wars consistently the only people who know what the fuck is going on?
    • Obi-Wan reveals himself, Anakin thinks Padmé betrayed him, and Force-chokes her. So, like, again, the anger is understandable, the Force-choking is not. Not going to defend that.
    • As Obi-Wan and Anakin fight, Anakin says something extremely telling: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” He isn’t lying. He isn’t even exaggerating. The Jedi have fucked him over at every turn. And the point that is being made here is that Anakin descends into madness because he, like the Jedi, lives at moral extremities. He goes mad and gives himself over to the Dark Side because the Jedi have thoroughly erased any possibility of a middle ground. 
      • The utter distrust that the Jedi Council have of “Gray Jedi” and the fact that “Gray Jedi” means both people who walk the middle ground of the Force and people who don’t answer to the authority of the Jedi Council also point to this. We can see this with Jolee Bindo and Qui-Gon, among others. If you walk the middle line, the Jedi will turn their backs on you. (Pro tip: if nobody is allowed to disagree with you, you’re probably not the good guys.)
    • Aaaaaaaaand finally the whole fight ends and Anakin becomes a weird lava-deformed creature of the night and when he finally wakes up and asks Palpatine if Padmé is okay, Palpatine says, “It seems in your anger, you killed her.” So, Anakin at this point a) is consumed with self-hatred, b) has nothing to live for because all of his loved ones either hate him (Obi-Wan) or are dead (Padmé, theoretically), and c) feels like he has no way out of the horrifying mess he’s put himself in. And here the prequels end.

What I’m trying to say here is that the Jedi aren’t perfect, and they don’t always use the Force for good. (See: “slavery is cool, we guess.”) Their emphasis on shutting out your emotions is ultimately what drives Anakin to the Dark Side because they allow no room for mistakes and therefore erase the possibility of Anakin ever getting help. Or, you know, compassion, which is supposed to be the Jedi version of love. So… The Sith suck. But the Jedi also suck. Not as much, for sure, but they are definitely guilty of some real fucked up things.

Now for the fun part!!!!! Rey, in Ep. VII, wins her battle against Kylo when she gets pissed. You can also see in that scene that when he’s overpowering her, you can see both the red and blue light reflected in her eyes, and when she closes her eyes and thinks “use the Force” and opens her eyes again, you only see the red.

What that piece said to me, and what this trailer and the poster say to me, is that “balancing the Force” means recognizing that emotions are not evil unto themselves, that you can love people and use that love to fuel goodness. Rey has the potential to balance the Force because she has already proven that she can harness emotion, be driven by emotion, and still use that for the Light Side.

Anyway, I fucking love Star Wars, meta is great, Rey can kick my ass any day, and if I’m right and these trailers are backing up my theory I am literally going to lose my mind.

Shit my wife has said to our cat, part 3

- I don’t trust you not to lose your mind, you little sociopath.

- You double assed bitch! (Then, to me) Sorry, but!! She’s on my pillow!!

- I am the queen of bitchdom and this is my liege, heiress to bitchdom.

- Were you spat out from the rain from an evil faerie realm??? One of these days we should give you back to the rain so you can return to your realm to rule.

- Don’t look at me like I committed a crime! You don’t know me!

- If you love a raccoon, we will support you. Have you been dumpster-diving? You’d be a great dad to six raccoons.

- I will love you no matter what pain you cause me. I have had a long and difficult life and kitty nails do not matter to me.

- Ohhhh my gosh, look at your fluffy butt! You brought it with you!!!!

- You look like you’re about to go supernova and consume my face. No face consumption! Let alone from a dying star.

- (Miss Kitty stretches out her paw) Look at this idiot! You reach for things you cannot manage! You’re halfway to the moooooon! Claw your way through space!

- May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest, you tiny fluffy bitch.

- Is this how you’re gonna be? You moldy bread slice.

- You’re fluffy, like you’re made of dreams, but actually you were wrung from the nightmares of a man who has seen too much.

- Can I help you, Miss Kitty? I don’t think I can. I think you’re beyond help.

Part 1 | Part 2

trauma doesn’t often feel like trauma is ‘supposed’ to feel. it feels like indifferent detachment, watching from outside yourself because nothing can hurt you there. it feels normal, just how people interact, so why are you making a big deal about it?  it feels like a joke – just how kids play, just how adults tease, just how some relationships work.

you wake from nightmares five years later and still wonder if you made it all up.

trauma can look like bad behaviour. like the stubborn refusal to get better, to stop self-destructing. trauma is putting yourself in harm’s way because you don’t really mean it, or because it’s funny, or because you just want to feel something, or because you just want to stop feeling. it’s wanting to destroy and reassemble yourself into another person entirely, so your real life can begin. because this isn’t real. because really bad things don’t happen to people like you.

trauma is the constant feeling of being an impostor. it’s the drive to survive twinned with the impulse to make yourself more sick in more ways. to hurt yourself to prove how bad you feel, or to punish yourself for exaggerating. you want people to believe what you’ve been through, to tell you your feelings are real, that your memories really happened. but when people do take you seriously, you play it off as a joke, apologize for bringing the mood down.

you go on and on about how it wasn’t that bad. you seek permission to still love the ones who hurt you, because it’s the people closest to us who can hurt us most deeply.

you can feel like the people who hurt you are the only ones who really knew you. in low self esteem, you can mistake cruelty for honesty.

there will always be people who have been through worse. that doesn’t make what happened to you okay.

there will always be people who don’t believe you. that doesn’t mean you are lying.

at some point, you have to take yourself seriously. you have to make a life you can stand to live. it’s the only way to survive.

Harry Fake Dates Kendall but is in Love With You

A/n: This is an updated version of an imagine I’ve previously uploaded. I know Hendall is so 2015. I get it.

Masterlist linked in bio.


The red wine leaves a particular stain on Harry’s lips that he hadn’t noticed until Kendall pointed it out to him.

“It looks like you’re wearing lipstick” she laughs, “I didn’t know you were going to dress up this much for the party.”

They are currently sat at his mum’s kitchen island, drinking red wine while munching on some chips left out for the guests. The house is filled with familiar faces, friends and family all throughout London coming together for Anne’s birthday celebration.

They hosted one every year for as long as Harry could remember, a time of year where nearly every one of his family members, including his step family, would unite. It was their favorite time of year, believe it or not. Despite all the excitement for the holidays, Anne’s birthday celebration was certainly something special.

It was Kendall’s first time attending, considering the fact that Harry had only really talked to her whenever he was assigned to be with her for publicity. It wasn’t always ideal, however, he built a stable friendship with her, so he didn’t mind the extra company with him from time to time.

She was invited last minute, of course, since his management called last night to ask if there was any way for them to be seen together. With Harry’s new movie coming out and his solo album just released a couple weeks ago, it was almost a given for him to be rumored with a girlfriend. That’s how it’s worked all throughout his career.

He normally wouldn’t have minded, however, this was the worst possible date for him to be with Kendall.

Because it’s Anne’s birthday party, this means that it’ll be the first time in one year that he’ll be seeing Y/n. They have been best friends since they were five years old, basically growing up in the same house as they went through school together. But as time went on, and as they both went to their separate ways, it was hard to keep in touch with each other all the time.

She remained in the small towns of London while Harry was traveling world wide, where his name became known everywhere as Y/n’s was only known through people she attended school with. Of course, they still talked, considering they both admitted to having more than friendship feelings, but their lives were busy in their own ways, preventing them from being more than what they wanted to be.

For the past couple months, Harry planned that this would be the day he’d finally move forward with Y/n. Or, at least attempt to. With the loss of her over the past year, it made Harry realize just how much he couldn’t imagine a life without her. It had been so long—too long, and he couldn’t stand how long he’s lived without keeping in touch with her.

But now, everything he planned for the two of them is becoming impossible. He can’t begin to imagine how Y/n would feel knowing he brought Kendall to his mum’s birthday party after they both confessed their love for each other. In all honesty, he wouldn’t blame her for giving up on him. He keeps doing this to her, even if it’s unintentional.

He watches around the kitchen at the guests he hasn’t seen in quite a while. His leg bounces with impatience when each new person walking in to attend the party isn’t Y/n. It’s been nearly an hour and has never been so late to anything before.

And as horrible as it sounds, he almost wishes she doesn’t come, just so that she can avoid the heartbreak that will come when she reunites with Kendall again.

“I’m sorry I’m late!”

Harry’s head whips around when he hears the voice he’s been deprived of for the past year. The first thing he notices are her lips, and the way they move around her words so softly. They’re slightly glazed with a lipgloss, painting her lips with a rosy shade of pink. They look so much fuller to him now, but he knows not a trace of them are artificial.  

His eyes only drift from the shape of her lips when her fingers reach to tuck loose pieces of hair behind her ear. It’s then he notices just how much shorter her hair has gotten. What was once so long and lank is now falling just above the shoulder, set in luscious curls he can only imagine twisting around his fingers.

His jaw goes slack when he sees the pale pink dress she’s wearing. It’s made from silk, the metallic fabric glowing with each step she takes. He gulps when he notices just how much the dress accentuates the curvature of her body and how much of her legs are put on display for him to see, and he can’t help but to wipe the sweat off his palms when he watches her greet his mother with a proper kiss on the cheek.

He notices that his eyes haven’t shut since he’s seen her, but he’s so completely intrigued by how much has changed in her. Something about her seems so much more real—so much more vibrant—and he can’t seem to stop himself from praising how time has done her so goddamn well.

“You never told me she was going to be here.“

His body jerks at Kendall’s sudden appearance, her body slowly occupying the seat next to his at the kitchen island. If it wasn’t for her, he swears he would have caught himself drooling.

“Didn’t think I had to,” he says with a shrug, “she’s been my best friend since we were five. She’s basically apart of this family, she wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

Y/n hasn’t missed a single one of Anne’s birthday celebrations since she’s known Harry. Their bond is irreplaceable—so irreplaceable, in fact, that Anne has been convinced Y/n is a miracle for their family. She was there for them through all the troubled times; helping them through their hardships and family instabilities.

When Anne and her husband first got divorced, Harry and Y/n were seven. Harry didn’t understand much of what was happening, all he knew was that his mum and dad weren’t going to love each other anymore. He was hurting, even when Gemma was there to try and keep him together. He started to believe everything between his parents was a lie.

She understood the whole separation process. Her mum left her at a young age, leaving her alone with her father. They were close, of course, but she always missed having a mother figure in her life. It made her upset to know she could only listen to one voice in the house, but as she grew older, she accepted it more.

By the time she met Harry, he kept bringing her over to his house as the years went on. Anne was the closest she had to mother, and their bond became unbreakable by the time Y/n was a teenager. Nearly seven years of Y/n being like another member of the family, Y/n started buying Anne Mother’s Day cards.

So when Y/n watched her second family fall apart, along with Anne’s heart, and she was determined to patch them back together again. Even at her young age, she’d pick flowers from her garden and give them to Anne everyday after school. Y/n said they represented her, and how she felt being a woman with such love and beauty could die all too quickly. Harry never understood what it meant, but Y/n did, which is why she never stopped until she heard Anne laughing again.

She also started to draw pictures and write her letters, reminding her of how loved she was by everyone. As much as Anne was heartbroken during the time, she took the letters everywhere she went and kept every flower alive for as long as she possibly could. Anne would always tell Harry “That girl came into our lives for a reason, my love. She’s a special one, our little miracle, never let her go. You hear me?”

Harry didn’t understand what it truly meant to let someone go, but he did his best to do anything but that. And now, as Harry sits on his mother’s kitchen island and seeing Y/n for the first time in a year, he feels he’s done just that.

“Guess not.” Kendall mutters, taking her last sip of the red wine left in her glass. “She’s just so strange, I guess. I can barely hold a conversation with her without her making an excuse to leave.”

Kendall and Y/n never really got along, it was extremely noticeable to everyone who held a conversation with the both of them. They just don’t see things in the same light. Y/n is very outgoing and lively; an extreme extrovert that seeks adventure—and Kendall can’t stand it. She thinks Y/n does it for attention, especially because she’s remained a small town girl while being surrounded by well-known celebrities. And even though it may seem like Y/n likes the attention, that’s not her purpose. She gives all her attention to others, never to herself, and it has always been something Harry loved the most.

And when it comes to Y/n, Kendall was that one thing that was constantly in her way of Harry. No matter how many times Harry and Y/n discussed how there was something between them, Kendall always found her way back to haunt her. She was her worst goddamn nightmare. She was perfect for Harry in the public eye, and nothing made Y/n feel worse than knowing she’ll never be her type of perfect, especially when it came to Harry.

But Kendall doesn’t know that. All she knows is that Y/n is extremely stand-offish with her, and she’ll never understand why.

“She’s not used to our lives. It’s extremely difficult for her to understand how we live, you know? She’s normal.”

Kendall scoffs, eyes rolling around the room because she hates that word. She feels so divided, like she’s in a categorization in society and everything about it makes her teeth clench.

“We’re normal, too, you know. I don’t understand why she feels so intimated and feels like she has something to prove.”

Harry’s jaw clenches slightly at the negative connotes Kendall has about Y/n’s life. Something about it makes his stomach twist the wrong way, and he can’t help the underlying growl in between his words.

“We’re not normal. Deep down, you and I both know that. You also don’t know Y/n, so stop making irrational assumptions about her.”

Kendall narrows her eyes at Harry, a gaze full of confusion and disbelief at the undeniable grumble in his tone. Any rational conversation they have about Y/n always end the same—with Harry quick to end the discussion and jump to her defense. It’s times like these Kendall never understood the true extent of Harry and Y/n’s relationship. They always claimed it was platonic but there has always been a sense of something stronger in them, like unaddressed or unchased feelings, or a past they shared that was kept between the two.

Either way, it annoyed the shit out of Kendall because they both were hiding something that she’ll never be able to get answered.

“Fine, whatever.” She sighs dramatically, scooting her chair back until she has room to stand properly. “Want some more wine? Getting some.”

Harry slides his empty wine glass so that it’s in front of her, muttering a small “yeah, thanks” before she’s on her way to the counter across the room, retrieving extra wine and mingling with some of Harry’s family.

Harry sighs while his head rests at the palm of his hand, eyes gazing directly to where Y/n is standing. His lips tug up lightly when he hears her laugh from the living room, his tongue running over his bottom lip ever so slightly as he watches her mouth lift and her eyes squint shut as she catches up with one of his uncles about his grand annual weekend fishing trip.

And as his eyes stay so transfixed on the woman in the other room, he can’t help but imagine seeing that type of perfection every day for the rest of his life.

“And everyone thinks Sweet Creature is about me..”

Harry’s head snaps to Gemma’s figure leaning over the edge of the island, her elbows hitched on the counter as a small smirk plays on her lips. She found it abnormally amusing how he didn’t even acknowledge her presence until she spoke, too invested in hawking over Y/n’s every move.

Harry grumbles, but the smile from Y/n’s laughter is permanent on his lips when he does so. Gemma even notices his cheeks brighten with pink, another hint of confirmation to the words she spoke.

“Shut up, Gem.“

She puts her arms up defensively, “Hey, don’t take it out on me. I’m just making an observation.”

Harry rolls his eyes as Gemma wraps her arm around his neck, hunching over so that her lips are close to his ear and eyes are directed toward Y/n again.

“She has gotten hotter, hasn’t she?”

She has no idea. All Harry can think about is how someone already so beautiful has grown to be so perfect. Everything about her makes Harry want to get down on his knees and worship every inch of her body. He has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from thinking how much of a wreck he wants to make out of her.

“I don’t know how she did it. You better get her while you still have the chance, I know many, many men who want a taste of her.”

No is the first thing Harry thinks when the words leave from Gemma’s mouth. As hypocritical and selfish as it is, knowing other men have shown an interest in her makes his skin crawl. And he can’t help but feel his throat tighten at the moment Y/n realizes he had brought Kendall to this party.

“Is she—“ he can’t even finish his sentence without his jaw tightening again, hindering the rest of his question from leaving his lips.

“Oh, quit your worrying, H. She’s single, I don’t think she’d ever date someone who isn’t you. Besides, I don’t think you can do much about it with Kendall here.”

Gemma lifts a finger to where Kendall is standing, still in the same spot as she talks to his aunt Leslie. His heart hurts knowing what Y/n will feel when she finds out. He knows that there is always a part of her that feels discouraged whenever there’s a new woman in his life. In between Harry and Y/n’s love for each other was a mix of false hopes and miscommunication, and it always fucked them up whenever anything else was put in their way.

Gemma pats his shoulder before making rounds to her family and friends again, leaving Harry slumped against the counter with not a drop of wine to numb his scrambling mind.

When Y/n finishes catching up with the rest of Harry’s family, she finds that her patience is wearing thin. It’s been a year since she’s seen the love of her life, and knowing that he’s somewhere near her is enough to get her heart racing.

When she sees him sitting alone at the kitchen island, wearing his infamous pink suit and staring down at his fingers, it’s as if her body starts to malfunction. Her legs stop moving and her lips part, eyes glistening with admiration as she sees him for the first time in so long.

He’s as beautiful as ever, his new haircut accentuating his facial structure. His lips seem so much more red, too, which are complimented greatly by that goddamn suit. Everything about him radiates, like he’s developed into a whole other person. She’ll never quite grasp the idea that she’s about to reunite with him; something about it makes her palms sweat.

“Hey, stranger.”

Harry lifts his head up to look at her in all her glory. His heart warms at her presence more than the wine did, and he can’t help but to take a breath of relief when he finally hears her voice again.

“Y/n.” He breathes out, his fingers instinctively reaching up to the ends of her cut hair.

He chokes out a laugh of admiration when he sees her this close to him. She is so much different—so much more perfect than he ever remembers her being and it takes his breath away.

His fingers twist her hair, wrapping them around the digits before letting the strands fall back in place again. He never saw her without her hair down to her waist, and now that he has, he never wants to see her hair past her shoulders again.

“It’s so beautiful” he whispers, “you look so beautiful like this, Y/n. I absolutely love it.”

She blushes, her chin tucking slightly into her neck as if trying to hide how much of a reaction he got out of her. No matter how many years she’s known him, she was never used to the way he spoke to her.

“It was spontaneous. Really wanted a change, and it looks like I’m not the only one.”

Her hands reach to his hair, which is so much shorter compared to the last time she saw him. She remembered she couldn’t keep her hands out of it last year, constantly finding ways to tangle her fingers at the ends. Harry found it hysterical, actually, and thought it was the cutest thing she’s ever done.

“It’s just so soft” she’d say, “it’s like a whole other world in there!”

But now her only option is to tangle her fingers at the roots, and as she does so, her mind drifts to all the other occasions she could have her hands in his hair again.

“It’s so much shorter. Look at that! I can barely tug on it anymore!” She laughs in amusement, her fingers slipping as she pulls too hard.

He smirks up at her, a giggle falling from his lips as he watches her utterly amused reaction. They begin to catch up with the part of their lives they both have missed. Harry talked about his album while Y/n started discussing her new journalism job.

Talking to Y/n is one of the only normal parts of him left, it always gave him a sense of grounding whenever he felt his career was taking off to heights he wasn’t ready for. She is one of the only sense of normality he has left in his life, and it’s another reason as to why he admires her so dearly. She brought out parts of him nobody else could reach, and it’s another reason why he feels so upset he’s barely talked to her.

“Y/n?” he asks hesitantly, reaching his hand over so that his fingertips graze her hand.

Her breath breaks when he touches her, the softness in his voice proving that what is about to be discussed is far more important than their previous conversation. She notices the stress lines in between his forehead and the parting of his wine stained lips when he begins to speak. 

“I’m so sorry I haven’t kept in touch with you. I know how it makes me look, especially after everything that happened between us. With the new album and everything, I’ve just been so busy with—“

“Kendall?”

Harry’s head jumps to where Y/n stares dumbfounded, Kendall holding two glasses of wine in one hand while the other is carrying a plate of chicken wings. She’s looking down at Y/n, too, her eyebrows lifted up in an intimidating manner. There’s a scowl present on her lips as she continues to tower over her.

Y/n feels tears building in her eyes as she takes in the situation at hand. She was so fucking dumb to think that Harry was going to come to Anne’s party alone, especially since his new album just released. This is Kendall’s prime time appearance, when Harry needs a familiar famous face beside him to advertise his solo career.

This isn’t anything new—this isn’t anything unfamiliar, but the pain feels like a fresh wound to her heart. Harry and Y/n are nearly 24, with having known each other and felt something for each other for years, she thought that if anything were going to happen, it was going to happen now. But everything between them has remained stagnant for so long that the last sliver of hope she had for their potential relationship has been completely taken away from her. By Kendall, again.

“W—Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t know Harry had invited you.”

“Yeah,” Kendall nods, “he invited me last night.”

Last night.

Y/n’s lips purse together, nodding her head as her eyes drift around the kitchen. Anything to avoid Kendall’s eyes—anything to feel as unimportant as she does now.

Harry’s eyes squeeze shut, a small hissing releasing from his tongue at how wrong it all sounds, considering absolutely nothing happened between Harry and Kendall the previous night besides being demanded that the two of them are to be seen together again.

“Right,” Y/n’s voice cracks, “well, I’m sorry to interrupt your time together. I’m going to go to Gemma’s room, got a phone call from my dad a while ago so I should go check up on him. I’ll see you guys around.”

She musters up a pathetic smile before practically running away from them. After everything they both told each other, after all the feelings they’ve had toward each other, how could Harry keep doing this to her? How could he keep being with Kendall when he says he loves Y/n?

She doesn’t even find the strength in her to hold in her tears before she approaches the steps, not daring to look back at them again. She never wants to see them in the same room again, it’ll be too much her heart can handle. 

“You’ve really got to be fucking kidding me, Kendall.” Harry growls.

His hands fist around the wine glass, his knuckles turning white and he’s absolutely shocked it hasn’t shattered into pieces in his hands from all the anger pulsing through his veins.

Jesus, Harry, neither one of you can take a joke. Does she not understand that all of this is for the press? She keeps acting like we’re a couple.”

“Could you really blame her after that? ‘He invited me last night,’ you’re really getting a kick out of making her uncomfortable, aren’t you?”

He grumbles as he takes a long sip of his wine, hoping that the alcohol loosens his muscles enough to restrain himself from doing anything he regrets. He loves his mum too much to start an argument during her birthday party, and as much as Kendall’s shifting Harry’s mood, he still appreciates her as a friend to ruin anything.

“That wasn’t even my fault, you both dug into that way too deep. Last night does not mean while we were fucking. It’s a time of day.”

“It’s the way you said it.”

“Are you being serious, Harry?”

He slams his glass down on the island, grumbling under his breath while he stands up from his chair. No matter how much anger is in him now, the only thoughts swirling in his brain are wondering if Y/n’s okay. She would have never left the party to go into a secluded room, not even if her dad called her.

“You leave her the fuck alone, Kendall. I mean it.”

He storms away from her, desperate to find Y/n because God only knows what’s really happening in that bedroom. Y/n’s emotions and feelings are always positive, always so bright, and he refuses to be the reason they turn upside down. She doesn’t deserve all he keeps doing to her, she doesn’t deserve him.

When Harry nearly swings himself onto the first step, he can already hear the soft murmur of Y/n’s and Anne’s voice, which makes him stop from approaching them any more than he has already.

“Y/n? Y/n, darling?” Anne asks with worry when she sees Y/n climbing up the top step with tears in her eyes, soft cries falling from her throat as her hand attempts to silence them.

She reaches an arm out for her, tugging at the front of Y/n’s dress slightly to get her attention. She’s grateful it was Anne who found her this way instead of any other guest at the party, considering nobody besides her and Harry have seen her with a frown on her face.

“Y/n, baby, what’s going on with you?”

The lights are off in the hallway, with no guests permitted in the area, which gives Y/n the proper time to fully allow her tears to fall down her cheeks.

“I’m so s—sorry, Anne.” Y/n cries.

Anne’s hands rub her shoulders, reassuring her that there’s absolutely nothing for her to apologize for. It also lets her know that she’s willing to listen to her, no matter where or when—she’ll always be there.

“I’m almost 24, Anne, and I’ve put so much of my life on hold for him.”

She knows instantly who Y/n’s talking about. It wasn’t difficult to notice the undying connection between Y/n and her son, especially as the years went on. They have grown so strongly together, there has never been a doubt in Anne’s mind that Y/n is going to be the girl Harry ends up marrying. Everyone in the family called it a destiny waiting to happen, but it has been so long since anything has happened between them, and Anne can’t help but feel heartbroken to know Y/n’s carrying the wrong idea about him and Kendall.

“And I’ve sacrificed so m—much to continue waiting for him, but I don’t think I can keep doing this anymore. We’re nowhere near where we should be, especially when he keeps spending time with Kendall and I just—I just don’t know if I can—“

“Oh, my darling.” Anne sighs, cradling Y/n’s head against her shoulder as she rubs down her back.

She shushes her through her tears, rocking her slightly in an attempt to calm her from her cries. It’s extremely rare for Y/n to feel upset, so when she does so, Anne knows she deserves all the comfort and love she can get.

“I know you so well, and I know my son. I always knew you were a match made in heaven, my dear. I knew from the start you were more than just an ordinary girl. You’re so special, to everyone in our family, but especially to him. He may not have his head screwed on right most of the time, but if I can promise you anything with all my heart, it’s that he loves you. Please, no matter what, never forget that.”

Y/n nods against her shoulder, thanking her through her violent cries before Anne insists she takes some time to herself. And as much as Y/n wanted to refrain from going into Harry’s bedroom, it’ll be the only place that brings her a sense of comfort.

Harry already knows he’s in for a lecture the second he sees his mum coming down the stairs with bewildered eyes. She grips his shoulders, her face tight with frustration.

“Mum—“

“You go over to her and you be the man I taught you to be, Harry.”

Harry’s eyes widen at her words, swallowing thickly at the thought of disappointing another person in his life.

“She loves you and you love her. Stop doing favors for other people and start thinking about you before you ruin both of your lives forever. You hear me?”

Harry nods feverishly, determined and more motivated than ever to fix all that he’s caused. Love comes first, always, and he needs to remember that before he breaks Y/n’s heart completely.

She’s it. She’s all that matters to him.

He barely responds to Anne before he’s racing to his old bedroom, completely clueless as to what he’s going to say, but willing to do anything to get her back.

“Y/n?” Harry calls through the door of his old bedroom. “Y/n, can I come in?” 

He knocks on the door lightly, just using the knuckles of his pointer and middle finger. He hears her feet pad over to the door, opening it to reveal her tear stained cheeks. Her hands are trembling against the knob, her breath broken with soft, gentle cries. Her eyes are widened with sadness, wet and red from tears she barely ever cries.

“Y/n.” He whimpers, tentatively reaching his shaking fingers up to her cheeks. He wipes away the tears from the bottoms of her eyes, sighing upsettingly as her eyes close at his touch. “Never seen you like this. Please talk to me.”

Her lips quiver as another sob rips through her, her hand reaching up to capture his between her fingers. Her saddened and wet eyes looking down at the intertwined hands now resting against her lap.

“I’m so tired, H.” She whimpers, “So tired.”

His lips press against her forehead, “I know, love. I know.”

She wraps her arms around him, her face burying in between his chest as he lets her tears soak in his undershirt.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I’d finally be alone with you after all this time. I missed being close to you, I wanted to be closer to you and I thought you felt the same about me and I didn’t understand, Harry, I didn’t get it and—“


“Hey, relax for me.” Harry mumbles, his lips grazing tenderly along her cheek.

She takes a deep breath, her fingers fisting the back of his suit tighter in her fists. She rests her chin on the top of his chest, tears still roaming down her face as she lets out an exasperated sigh. Her fingertips trace patterns on his back, her eyes fluttering closed as he pushes some of her hair off of her face, refraining them from sticking to her wet cheeks.

“I didn’t get it,” she whispers, “I was so confused, and when you didn’t answer my calls or texts I thought you didn’t find me important. And I was under no right to be upset about it, because you’re busy and you have priorities. But when I saw you today, I didn’t see you as the Harry I always have, I still can’t tell you what I saw but I wanted every part of you more than I ever have before. But when I saw Kendall I—“

Her cries and words die down when she feels Harry’s tender lips against hers. She’s taken aback at first, and before she has any time to really kiss him back, he’s already pulled away.

“Let me fix this.” He breathes out, “let show you that I only want you.”

His lips press against the side of her mouth, not allowing himself to kiss her the way he wants to until she lets him. They then begin to travel down her neck, along her jaw, around her mouth.

Y/n’s breath is stiff as he does so, embracing the feeling of his mouth against her skin. They’ve only ever kissed a handful of times, none of them being passionate or loving. They’ve shared pecks while saying goodbyes or after confessing their feelings, but none quite like this—none quite like the one anticipating to happen.

His breathing his hard when he continues to kiss along her skin, his fingers moving longly in her hair the more his mouth presses against her.

“Will you let me?” He whispers when his lips are ghosting over hers, “this okay?”

She nods feverishly, hitting the point of desperation when she feels his breath fan over the skin of her face. She’s been needing this for far too long now.

“Yes, please.

His thumb runs over her bottom lip one, two, three times before he finally leans in. Their lips mush together passionately, only breaking apart to move their position before locking again. Their tongues meet in the middle, making the both of them moan at the unfamiliar spark coursing through their veins.

Harry walks toward his bed until Y/n’s knees hit the edge of it, making her back meet the mattress. Their lips haven’t detached once, not daring to break away from the feeling they’ve both been deprived of.

They’re both making out on Harry’s childhood bed, grinding onto each other half naked like two hormonal teenagers. Their clothes thrown across the room, lips swollen from all the suction and nibbling, and hair completely knotted from either of their fingertips, the party below them long forgotten.

“Wait, wait wait wait!” Y/n gasps, lifting herself off of his chest.

Harry’s chest rises and falls rapidly, trying to catch his breath as he looks up at Y/n in confusion. He watches as a smirk lifts from her lips as she peers down at his flushed face, giggling slightly at his complete fucked out appearance.

She notices that his lips remained stained from the red wine—a little faded—but still making her body weak at the sight of it.

“’s the matter?” He croaks.

His voice is thick—an entirely different level of raspy, and Y/n wonders how she’s lived so long without hearing him speak in that way. Between all the kissing, all the touching, all the moaning, his voice has a particular roughness to it that Y/n could feed off of if she had to.

“We shouldn’t do this, right? I mean, we’re about to fuck during your mum’s birthday party. Your entire family and Kendall are downstairs, anybody could walk in at any second, or hear us, and your mum could find that so disrespectful and—“

Her rambling is interrupted by his lips, meeting hers passionately between her words.

There is no way in hell he’s leaving this room tonight. Everything that’s been stagnant between them is finally moving in the right direction, and he can’t find it anywhere in him to walk away from it.

“You think I’m letting you go now?” He whispers, his thumb running along her bottom lip. “I have been waiting for this moment with you since high school, sweetheart.”

His lips reattach to her neck, sucking on spots he hasn’t already left marks on, soaking up every bit of the time he has with her before it’s over. This is the first time they’re going to make love, and he wants to feel and remember every bit of this moment.

“B—But your mum—“ She moans, her fingers nearly tangling at the ends of his hair as she hisses in pleasure from his tongue.

“Every single person downstairs knows about us. This—this happening right now, has been expected to happen since I first brought you home. I guarantee you, nothing will make her more happy than knowing her son and his future wife are finally acting on our feelings instead of pushing them to the side again.”

His words make Y/n blush like no other; her cheeks turning the shade of pink on her dress she wore previously. It’s then he notices just hot fucking pretty she is in pink, how every tint of the color compliments her in ways he can barely wrap his head around.

“Future wife, hm?” She smirks, tapping the pads of her fingers against his bare collarbones.

He kisses her again.

“Thought you knew that, love. Wouldn’t know a single soul I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” His fingers dig into her hips, “’s always been you.“

Y/n pushes Harry’s back against the mattress again, trailing her fingers down his torso. She giggles when his teeth clench at her touch, finding it almost irresistible to embrace the way he responds to her touch so easily.

“Trust me, I always knew.”

anonymous asked:

Hey! If you're still taking prompts, could you write about neil and Andrew having a conversation about Neil's past? Like the stuff he had to do to survive and the stuff he went through with the worlds shittiest parents? Also I'm pretty sure neil has killed people like it makes complete sense so maybe andreil talking about that?

There’s a band of pale blue light nipping at the tops of the trees and sharpening the silhouettes of the houses, but everything else is fresh and dark. Andrew smokes with the pack clenched in his fist, the cherry of the cigarette winking at the street lamps winking at the orange moon.

Their front porch isn’t like the rush of the rooftop, but he can get that same jitter of fear from Neil nowadays, and he’s more portable. He’d left him knotted in the bedsheets an hour ago, and knowing he’s inside somewhere at his back is burning him up. Andrew inhales and focuses on the exhale, the way the smoke still tries to hurt him when it should’ve given up. He likes that nicotine doesn’t leave him alone.

Neil slips out the front door and lets the screen door clatter, and Andrew knows that he’s upset before he sits down two steps below Andrew, holding his own head.

He doesn’t ask; just smokes fervently. The moon bobs its head sympathetically, wind catches the smoke and breaks it over Neil’s head like water on rocks.

It occurs to Andrew that Neil isn’t going to start this conversation, because he likes to think things through on his own, solve them wrong, and tell Andrew about his mistakes later. He’s insufferably convinced of his own problem-solving abilities, then obsessed with the mechanism of his own missteps.

“What?” Andrew asks impatiently. He flicks ash from his cigarette and holds it out in front of Neil’s face. Neil sidles through his own tangled thinking for long enough to glance up. He leans forward and sucks the smoke from between Andrew’s fingers.

When he looks away, gusting smoke from his open mouth, he says, “Matt called. We fought.”

You fought,” Andrew guesses.

Neil looks agitated, blue in the choked light, eyes black and furious. “He was being unfair. He keeps trying to tell me what’s right or wrong lately, because he thinks I’ve been— been deprived, like my experiences were outside of humanity, or morality, and it’s so— condescending.”

“You’re only realizing this now? All of the foxes are condescending. It is the only way they can avoid their own failure.”

“This was different,” Neil says, shaking his head. “I can tell when they’re saying things because they want to see my reaction, and this wasn’t that. He meant what he was saying.”

“And what was that?”

Neil goes gagged silent. He shifts backwards up to Andrew’s stair without looking at him, settling into the groove worn into the wood.

“That killing someone makes you a monster. That murder is the worst thing you can do to a person.”

Keep reading

I got some thoughts on Little Nightmares. As usual for me, I am more interested in everybody else and not the main character. Typical me.

Anyway as far as the world goes the basics are not hard to grasp. You are a human on a giant’s vessel. Giants were known to be maneaters in many of the different cultures they appear in, so raising and preparing human like domesticated livestock is no big surprise.  

What I am interested in is this particular crew. Been looking at things and the websites and I got some info. Like many others, the sight of fat customers coming aboard to eat en masse reminded me of tourism/the food industry-and with The Lady looming over as she does, it’s not hard to deduce she runs this eatery. Now here’s what it says about “The Lady” on the site -

“Admist the chaos of the world outside, The Maw is the only place that makes sense.”

It gives off the impression she might have been drifting before, lost, without a purpose and without a place to belong. Obviously she looks Japanese and aside from the eatery, not a lot of other places in the boat follow that aesthetic. She is far from home. But not just that-I think the others were lost too-if fact I think they were all together before as well. Look at this one-

-”he fled the world and found The Maw.”  People point out the painting of The Lady with other shadowy figures when contemplating the identity of Six, but you’ll notice the other pictures are quite interesting too. I believe our man here is in one of them-the chefs too. 

With the chefs, I’m thinking they were probably twins who were born fused together separated a little after birth-more on that theory later though.

.

 Mr. Legless sure looks like Mr. Arms tho. That The Lady keeps pictures of them gives me the impression they must have all known each other for a long time-predating The Maw. 

Not only that, but they are all wearing masks. The Janitor’s mask seems to be peeling and blocks his view, The chefs can be seen scratching under their mask and The Lady is wearing a much more obvious mask. Perhaps they are all from the same place and are trying to “blend in” with their new found culture/people. -Another interesting possibility-they are outcasts even among giants. The smashed mirrors, the masks and the Janitor - maybe these were originally a band of misfits-rejected at home who drifted aimlessly for a while before finding a place to belong, a place that “makes sense”. 

After all, no one cares what you look like if you’re serving up grub. 

This game, I hear, was originally called Hunger. Once you play the game yourself, you’ll see how that theme remains. Hunger drives what we assumed to be an innocent little girl to prefer to kill and eat others savagely to survive. Hunger can take you dark places. The Maw itself is a dark place, I’ve heard a youtuber comment after seeing it all that Six became “like them”. 

Perhaps hunger was also what drove them to such an extreme. Fattening, slaughtering, serving, in an endless cycle. It’s not pretty but it keeps them alive. It’s a purpose-it’s a living. 

Maybe this was something the game was trying to get across. How ruthless the fight for survival can really be and how things like good and evil can sometimes be made to take a backseat when you’re starving to death. 

mass effect dad headcanons
  • Kaidan: cheers you on at every soccer game even though you’re horrible at it “You got this, champ!” loves to barbecue and can always tell when something’s wrong “You okay, bud?” Still wears the #1 dad t-shirt you made for him when you were little.
  • Garrus: Comes off as relaxed and let’s you go to that shady party but when you get back you have (84) missed calls from Dad and he’s pacing in the living room. Doesn’t know how to cook so just orders takeout. “Well, you’re still alive so I guess I did pretty well”
  • Mordin: “Breakfast is most important meal. Triggers metabolism and gives energy!” Only showed you educational kids shows and builds your model volcano for you. Sings in the car even though ugh dad you’re embarrassing me.
  • Anderson: “I’m not your friend, I’m your father” but actually adores you more than anything in the galaxy. Took the day off work then stayed up with you all night when you got food poisoning. The day he tells you he’s proud of you is the best you’ve ever felt in your life.
  • Wrex: let's you take a sip of ryncol and laughs when you start gagging. Says "Whatever" and uses guilt as his primary tactic. Always gives you piggy back rides and weirdly specific life advice.
  • Joker: Dad jokes. Too many dad jokes. Let you watch a horror movie that gave you nightmares for weeks. "If I can do it, you can." Made sure you aced your driving exam and took you out for ice cream after.
  • Zaeed: Tries to watch his language but it usually ends up sounding like "Well sh... shucks" All your friends think he's really cool but he always asks things like "what in the shitting hell is a me-me"
  • Thane: Crazy dance!! Always knows what to say when you're upset. Remembers the small things like what toppings you like on yogurt and makes sure your favorite shirt is always clean. "I want you to be happy in life."
Things in the original Newsies script that should have made it into the movie:

-Crutchy believing Jack’s made up story that a woman gave birth to a cow

-Crutchy telling David that needing Jack is like needing air to breathe

-The whole backstory where Jack had a younger brother named Michael that escaped the refuge with him, but then fell off the wagon and got crushed underneath the wheels and he wants to go to Santa Fe because that’s where he always promised to take his brother.

-Flashback-nightmares of the above situation

-Jack keeping all his Santa Fe money and a picture of his family in a hidden brick in the wall

-The refuge kids think Jack can fly when he appears to Crutchy at the refuge

-Flashbacks of baby Jack at the refuge

-Jack suggesting to David that they blow something up to spark news, because he knows a guy with dynamite

-Jack blowing Sarah off when he’s waiting on the fire escape, telling her he’s waiting for David

-Jack getting a hole in his pants so Sarah offers to sew them, prompting an embarrassed Jack to take his pants off in front of David and Les and then wrapping up in a blanket.

-Instead of Jack pushing David up against the alleyway in angst after he helps him escape, David helps him sneak into his house and Jack sleeps on the floor with David’s pillow and Jack gazes at him asleep in his bed and thanks him for looking out for him.

-Sarah sings a solo called “What Will Become of the Boy?” as she watches Jack sneak out and run down the street. After Jack rests behind some trash cans he starts singing his Santa Fe reprise for a mash up duet.

-Sarah dressing up like David to go find Jack on the streets and take him home

-Les screaming and punching Jack after he scabs, causing someone to grab him and push him back where he gets knocked bloody and unconscious against a wagon wheel. We get angsty flashbacks of Jack losing his little brother under the wagon wheel and so Jack freaks out and carries Les back to his home where he pretends to be Esther and Mayer’s son and uses his Santa Fe money to pay for a doctor because he knows they can’t afford it.

-Denton unleashing rage on the Delancey Brothers down at the printing press and knocking both of them out in front of David’s dad.

-Jack leaving for Santa Fe on a train and David running along the train telling Jack he wishes he could come with him

-All the newsies lining the sides of the train to send Jack off.

-Jack emerging in the darkness of the train tunnel to run back to the Jacobs.

-DID I MENTION ALL THE JACK BACKSTORY AND SARAH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?????????!!!!