the text is off but i don't care at this point

YOI Skaters As Things I Have Done
  • Viktor: Collapsed in the hallway because my friend wasn't paying enough attention to me, spent hundreds of dollars on a gift for same friend, and pissed off a bunch of my other friends by declaring said friend as my favorite
  • Yurio: Accidentally kicked one of my friends in the head, then laughing when she got pissed
  • Yuuri: Woke my mom up at 2am because of all the racket I was making in the kitchen while stress baking cookies
  • Christophe: Showing my friends photos of my boobs because "don't they look so good in this photo?" and getting the response "your boobs are fantastic"
  • Phichit: Keeping a folder of all the ugly selfies my best friend has ever sent me to give to her future boyfriend
  • Mila: Picked up friend and ran to PE because "your legs are too short to keep up with mine, either buy roller skates and hold onto my sleeve or let me carry you, we don't have all day"
  • Georgi: Sent my girlfriend at the time 500 seconds of snapchats in under 10 minutes before she woke up and then continued to send more after she woke up
  • Sara: Gave an hour long lecture to one of my best friends who I consider to be family on gender roles and why I generally dislike men who aren't fictional that some how turned into me listing reasons why girls are beautiful and I Love them
  • Michele: Have given the same two pieces of dating advice to one of my friends for years, "dump him" or "give me your phone, I'm going to fight him"
  • Emil: Hugged one of my best friends for over an hour, actually it was closer to two, I only let go when I fell asleep
  • JJ: Talked for a full hour about how hot I am to one of my friends and then after a few minutes of silence, whispered "oh god, I really hate myself" and then curled up into a ball and cried
  • Minami: Consistently terrifies friends with shrieking flying tackle hugs from behind, screams of terror usually ensue
  • Seung-gil: Robotically wrote the Bee Movie Script on the classroom board when we had a sub, "Do you have work you are supposed to be doing?" "Yes." "Is this it?" "No, do you have any more questions?" "I- uh, no, I guess not."
  • Guang Hong: Texted someone that if they messed with my best friend I would brutally murder them and then followed up with blushing emojis and flower emojis
  • Leo: Listened to the same song on repeat 12 hours a day, for over a week, until I could hear the song playing in my dreams
  • Bonus, Coaches + Teachers:
  • Yakov: Some how became the mom friend despite the fact that I can't even take care of myself, "I swear to god if you skip physics oNE MORE TIME", "Do your homework, I know where you sleep", "Oh for fuck's sake, come over to my house, I'm not going to listen to you bitch for weeks because you didn't want to disinfect your cuts"
  • Minako: Was running a high fever during my physics final to the point where I was fading in and out of consciousness, and aced it
  • Lilia: Developed a reputation for having terrifying kicks after I realized that the men in my karate class couldn't hold back their punches if they were too busy avoiding getting nailed in the balls
  • Celestino: Refused to stop smiling and laughing for a full day, actually got kicked out of class because I laughed so much
An observation of Markiplier TV

Emphasis on the observation part because I’ve never really been good with theories. I have a number of things to do today but unfortunately, I watched this video and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Hopefully this’ll quiet my mind and let me function, and who knows? Maybe it’ll help someone out there with their own theories too. :)

So, let’s talk about this scene:

We got one hell of a group here BUT what I’d like to focus on is their seating arrangement and what that could mean, because if there’s anything I’ve learned in videos like this it’s that EVERYTHING is by design. This entire table scene (props to the Editor btw) has so much hidden psychological subtext in it, so while I’m no professional I’ll still do my best to uncover them all.

First off, let’s look at the table: Rectangular with two long ends and two short ones. Pretty normal setting yeah, but is it beneficial to their situation (i.e. finding a way to ‘take control’) where everyone easily agrees? Nope. Because tables like these embody competition and a clear sense of authority, and I love this detail. It means that while they could’ve easily gone for a round table to promote cooperation, they go for this because of course, no one’s going to cooperate that easily.

This setting, however, works better in the business cooperative world, because you got two people (Darkiplier & Wilford) who can control the meeting from both ends of the table and are essentially the people everyone will need to look up to.

Here’s a great detail though: In this kind of setting, the more powerful of the two is usually the one opposite the entrance to the room. This allows him not just a vantage point of whoever comes in and goes, but complete control as well. And as we see where King of the Squirrels pops up:

Originally posted by antisepticjack

Which we can easily tell was from the right of the room based on the direction his body and eyes shift to, we can point out where the entrance is and who was right there:

But yeah, in this moment it didn’t seem like Will had control over King’s sudden entrance but let’s face it: he doesn’t care. He already knows that there’s more than one king in that room.

Speaking of, let’s move on to the seating arrangement.

Obviously we got Dark and Will at the ends as the higher ups, but I’d like to talk about Googleplier and The Host.

In medieval times, kings would often have their advisors right at their side at the table. This actually explains the term “right hand man”, because the king would have them close at hand to help him rule, unless of course, he was left-handed. Looking back at Dark’s antics, I have reason to believe that he’s either left-handed or ambidextrous.

Originally posted by http-darkiplier-403forbidden

Which I guess would make sense, considering that while Ed, Bim, Silver and Dr. Iplier were all concerned about their parts in the video, only Google and The Host were able to keep a level head and not lose sight of their main goal/situation.

Now the last thing I want to talk about is Wilford’s idea for Markiplier TV. I must warn you though because this is going to be a bit of a stretch so stop reading if you’d like BUT… I think he may have been inspired by Anti.

AGAIN, please bear with me. Jack’s mentioned before that Dark and Anti ever meeting each other was very unlikely, which in Dark’s case (being the alter ego that’s been pushed inside the most) could be more than true. However, Wilford makes up for this as he’s the only one not bound by the laws of physics and is, potentially, omnipresent. So it’s possible that he’s aware of Anti (since he was aware of Septiplier after all) and his methods (i.e. using social media to have his fans notice him which then gives him control) BUT, being Wilford, he goes about it in his own roundabout way which is, of course, TELEVISION.

So, yeah, this is all I can come up with. Excluding my attempt in theorizing at the very end I hope this was helpful. Now I’m just hoping that my thoughts on Antisepticeye don’t get too hectic and end up like this long wall of text. Thanks for reading. :)

Red Roses

I saw this adorable art from @the-sacred-pecan-pie and needed to write something about all those roses. 



His mama saved the flowers from the bouquet she carried when she walked down the aisle.

Bitty found them when he was five years old and bored and snooping through his parents room.

He found a stack of photo albums beneath old sweaters and dress shoes that his daddy rarely ever wore.

The first one was old and musty and filled with people he had never seen before in black and white and yellowing at the corners.

He quickly pushed that one out of the way and kept opening up new ones until the photos switched to color and he started to recognize his moomaw and his mama.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you believe that some people... don't... ship... or... don't believe in... Larry? h o w ??!11!!?

Yes. Yes I can. 

Because some days you’re like, “HOLY SHIT RBB AND SBB, ROSE AND DAGGER, BEE TATTOO, RAINBOWS, ALWAYS IN THE SAME CITY, LARRY IS REAL Y’ALL”

But then you look at the way Louis and Harry are depicted separately in the media and it’s like 

And yet, we persist because…

Last week was a perfect example of once again being lured into a false sense of security. I think if you look at Harry’s actions there is a huge dichotomy between his rainbow-wearin, boyfriend-havin ass and literally everything that is written about him. 

As soon as I saw that article in the Mirror about Harry “texting and driving” I was like…

Because literally no one cares. I’ve been in 15 Ubers this month alone and 90% of them held their phone like that whilst looking at maps. Even if Harry was playing Flappy Bird whilst at a stoplight, it wouldn’t be newsworthy. HOWEVER, the moral of that story was “Look! There’s a random girl in his car.” They didn’t even have to say it because obviously everyone was going to infer what they always do whenever Harry is anywhere near anyone. And lo and behold Tessperado became a thing.

Right now it’s very…intense, let’s say…on the Hetero Harry front. That article in the Sun yesterday is setting off all kinds of alarms if I’m honest. It was very clear, as I said already, that it was written for one reason only. 

That article was all over the damn place. By the end, Dan Hoofton couldn’t even be bothered to put what Harry was saying into quotes any longer. I’ve got a poem I wrote when I was five that’s more coherent than that POS article. What has me like

Is Hoofton’s prodding into Harry’s sexuality and what, on the surface, appears as pretty blatant seeding to me. Dodo listed every single one of Harry’s exes and his current apparent gf and yet still felt the need to ask about his sexuality. Show me where any other celebrity is interviewed this way. 

The Sun might as well be called The Cowell because they will write whatever he wants them to. Look at Dan’s Twitter banner…

Oh look who is right in the centre. Below Beyonce, because even Simon Cowell ain’t THAT powerful. Still, there’s a reason that entire banner is practically a Syco employee roll call. 

As someone who’s been personally victimised by the reach of Simon Cowell’s power over what you say in the media, this public redaction of Harry’s off-handed statement is pretty mild. But I think that it looks a bit like a warning imho (in my hoe opinion). Harry has gone to great lengths to separate himself from Simon Cowell (read: Simon, not 1D). He was the first to publicly drop Modest! and even though he’s with Sony still, he seems the most distanced from Syco. 

There has always been speculation about how a coming out would look. “He would do it via a Dan Wootton exclusive” is something that literally no one has said. Ever. So for DW to be getting any kind of exclusive in regards to Harry is basically a huge red flag. I’m not saying that yesterday was at all a coming out since it was sandwiched between “Look at Harry’s exes!” and “Look at Harry’s new girlfriend!” but I am saying that the fact that the Daily Mail (also a Syco mouthpiece) picked up the vague sexual orientation part of it could point to the fact that these are things that Simon Cowell wanted out in the media. 

Do I think that Simon Cowell is spiteful enough to out his own ex-artist?

Short story long (and back to your original question): based on the media portrayals of Louis and Harry literally nothing anyone chooses to believe suprises me. Except maybe Narry because wtf?  

On that note I’ll leave you with this crucial piece of advice:

Don’t Let Me Get In The Way (Steve Rogers x reader)

Requests:  

1. BONNIE YAY!!!!! REQUEST TIME!!!! pls write about Steve starting to blow you off (missed events and important dates) because of Bucky & the events of civil war. My heart loves angst but please end happy if at all possible.  

2. Hi, can you please write a little fluffy fic where Steve asks the reader to marry him?

Whenever anyone would ask how it came to be that you were dating Captain America, you would tell them that you fell into his arms like it was a dream, and right when their eyes would gloss over in imagination of the romance in that statement, you’d crush it with a snicker at their gullibility.  It was definitely like a dream, alright; but more like a nightmare, being chased across your apartment by some disgusting alien as it shot at you, pushing you towards the window of your tenth floor home until you crawled out onto the ledge and prepared for your own end at the mercy of Park Avenue’s asphalt.  As if it were planned, or at least by miraculous intervention, Steve was fighting his own group of alien assailants, hearing you from above just in time to turn and catch you as you jumped.  

You literally fell into his life, and he loved telling the story as much as you hated to remember it.

Keep reading

You Don’t Know Me | 2

Request: I can’t really think about an actual story plot but maybe yoongi getting you pregnant and he chickens out… Aw This is such a bad description but since you’re an amazing writer ypu can pull it off better ☺💖 thank you!

Originally posted by sugaglos

Pairing: Yoongi + Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1.922

Warnings: swearing, numbers (lolol)

A/N: gosh I suck at math so I hope the numbers are right… also please leave feedback if you want more!


A month.

4 weeks.

31 days.

744 hours.

44.640 minutes.

2.678.400 seconds.

155 breakdowns.

49 panic attacks. 

12 sleepless nights. 

That’s how you counted the time since you had last heard from Yoongi. All that time passed without him answering your calls or messages, leaving you on read and declining every single one of your calls. 

He wants me to feel ignored, otherwise he’d just let the phone ring - or not click on my messages.

He wants me to know he’s there but not ready yet.

That’s his game.

You didn’t want to give up on him. He was everything you had, everything you had counted on. He was your best friend, your partner in crime, your lover and your other half. You had hoped for a future with Yoongi. Always supporting him and his moody behavior. Being there for him no matter what because you knew how stressed he was and how burdened he felt. So you didn’t stop leaving messages, as random as they were. You knew he was just being stubborn, you knew he would never leave you just like that.

He loves me.

He does.

He’s just having a hard time.

You started coming by their dorms every second day, hoping to get Yoongi out of his box. Being friends with the boys as well, they didn’t really mind. It was weird for you in the beginning because you two had been dating for so long, yet you had never really been at the dorms that often. Dating Yoongi meant spending more time with him at the studio than at the dorms. It was a nice change to be able to spend time with the others as well but you always knew in the back of your mind that the actual reason behind that situation was everything else but nice. And Yoongi knew how to remind you every time you visited - not once had you seen his face or heard his voice. He disappeared as soon as he knew you were coming over and wouldn’t come back until you had already left. You weren’t even the one telling him that you were coming over, hoping that one day he’d be there to talk things out face to face but he always found his ways to be gone before you could even notice. You still saw his things lying around, things he usually had lying around at your dorm. Familiar pieces of his, spread around the dorm, reminding you how his things were here but he would never be.

He’s just not ready. He needs time.

The boys knew what had happened between you two and you felt their pitiful glances they threw your way when they thought you weren’t paying attention. But you saw. They were always there. During dinner. While playing video games. Helping with the chores. Watching a movie. Going over their choreographies. You saw and it broke you more each time. Even they knew how pathetic you were behaving. 

And that’s what it was - pathetic. You knew it, Yoongi knew it, the boys knew it, everybody knew it. Still, you couldn’t give up because in the end of the day, it wasn’t only about you and Yoongi but about the baby. Your baby needed a dad, not only a father. And you were just as stubborn as Yoongi, so you wouldn’t give up so easily. Your child was not going to be raised by a single mom, a college student who could barely take care of herself. It was going to live better than that.

He’ll give in. I know he will. 

At that moment, a soft pillow hit you in the face and screams erupted through the living room. Before you could realize what was going on, Taehyung had ducked behind you, making Jungkook run around your tiny figure in circles, making Taehyung shove you around like a shield to protect himself, earning screams of confusion from you.  

“You coward, move away from (Y/N)!”, Jungkook screamed and laughed before jumping forward, taking you to the ground with him as he landed on Tae, pinning his figure to the ground in a merciless grip.

“Jungkook, let go, you’re gonna break my arm!”, Taehyung laughed while screaming out in pain, making Jin came rushing into the living room to your side. Stretching out his hands for you, you thankfully grabbed them and he helped you up before parting the two boys in one swift move.

“Are you two crazy?! We have a pregnant woman here, you could have hurt her and the baby! Stop running around like that or you’ll be cooking your own meals until this baby decides to break free”, Jin scolded while sitting you down on the couch, handing you a pillow and a blanket. You raised your eyebrows at him in confusion and laughed at his choice of words.

“For support. The baby needs it”, he simply answered and positioned it himself when you didn’t make a single move. 

“You can’t do that Jin Hyung! She’s not even fat yet!”, Jungkook exclaimed and earned a smack on the back of his head from his hyung. The maknae winced and rubbed his head in pain, whilst Taehyung laughed at the comical scene in front of him, earning a death glare from Jin.

“Shh, you don’t say that to a girl Jungkook. Don’t you have any manners?”, Jin looked angry but you just laughed and sat up.

“He’s right though, I’m not even fat yet. I’m just two months pregnant, Jin. Stop worrying so much”, you smiled at the older boy but he just shook his head and sat down next to you as the two others left the room to play video games in their bedroom.

“The first three months are the most critical ones (Y/N)! You should know that. Anything could happen”, he looked at you seriously concerned, so you grabbed his hand, rubbing your thumbs over his soft skin. You noticed him shiver and quickly look away but chose to ignore it.

“I know Jinnie. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I don’t know where I’d be without you”, you grinned foolishly but meant it. He had been there for you the second Yoongi decided to break it off and ignore you. In the heat of the moment you had called Jin right after you had calmed down from the first shock and since then he hadn’t left your side. He always made sure that you were doing okay, that you were eating and getting enough sleep, even bringing over food to your dorm himself if you couldn’t come over. He also made you tell him your check up appointments so he’d know if anything was wrong. He cared and you were truly thankful.

“You’d definitely be lost, I can tell you that”, he mumbled but smiled and pulled you into a hug. You were taken aback for a second as you inhaled his scent. He smelled manlier than expected and for a second, goosebumps arose on your skin before you heard a door being slammed shut and someone shuffling lazily into the room. You turned around, breaking free from the embrace and saw him. He was standing still in between doors, eyes glued to Jin’s hands on your waist.

“Yoongi”, you exhaled, eyes wide and watery as your heart started beating faster by every second that passed while he just stared. He looked exhausted, more than usual. Deep bags under his eyes, colored in deep purple and blue, signaling that he mustn’t have gotten lots of sleep in the past couple of weeks. His skin looked paler than ever and dehydrated, having lost all natural glow. His figure was skinnier than ever and you were scared that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself up for much longer. At least he seemed to have taking care of his hair and clothes as his outfit and hair were styled enough to walk out of the house.

“I-I’m going to see what the others are doing”, Jin quickly got up, shooting you one last glance before walking out in the opposite direction of Yoongi. The boy’s eyes followed his hyung until he had left the room, basically shooting daggers into his direction before turning his gaze to you.

“Yoongi we-”, you started but he interrupted you harshly.

“Why was he touching you like that?”, his voice was icy like the last words that he had directed at you when he left you a month ago.

You were confused. “What?”

“Why was he touching you like that (Y/N)?”, his stare had something unreadable in it. Hands balled into fists on the sides of his body, his eyes didn’t leave your face.

“Touch like what Yoongi?”, Jin had only hugged you. You didn’t know what was going on. 

“His hands were on your fucking waist (Y/N)! Don’t act like I’m fucking blind”, he scoffed and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

Oh.

He was jealous. Min Yoongi was jealous even though he had broken up with you. Even though he had ignored all your calls and texts, avoided you for a whole month and left you with an unborn baby. 

That’s when it clicked.

Calling your state furious would be an understatement.

“So what if his hands were on my waist? He takes very good care of me and the baby, so he’s allowed to touch me”, you spat in an attempt to let Yoongi feel what you had been feeling that whole time. Even though he looked bad, he couldn’t have been through half the stuff you had been through the last weeks.

In the end of the day, he was the one who broke it off right?

Yoongi huffed and went through his hair with one hand. “So what, Jin’s the baby daddy now? As soon as I’m not available, you run to the next best dude?”, he was practically screaming at this point and you heard a door being shut silently. The boys were trying not to listen.

Damnit.

“As soon as you’re not available? Are you fucking insane? You broke up with me because I told you that I am pregnant. I tried to get you back because I knew you are stubborn and just needed time but you treated me like shit, Yoongi. Like literal shit. I come by every other day to get you to talk to me but no, mister fuckhead even knows a way to avoid me at his own home”, you had stood up and your face was red from anger at that point. Tears were streaming down your face uncontrollably. Your chest was burning from the heartache and all the pain he was making you go through again. Flashbacks from the painful words he had thrown at you, came rushing back, a new panic attack arising within you. 

Please not now.

“I-I didn’t mean to”, he whispered and lowered his head. 

“What?”, you weren’t sure if you had heard him correctly. Trying to calm down your breathing, you closed your eyes and balled your hands into small fists.

“I said, I didn’t mean to hurt you like that”, he lifted his gaze and spoke up, voice breaking as he looked at your state.

“Well surprise, you did it anyway”, you held back a sob, putting a hand over your mouth as soon as those words were out. You didn’t want to cry anymore. You had cried enough in the last couple of weeks. 

It just didn’t seem to end.

don't || stiles stilinski

word count: 4755

warnings: angst

prompt: based on 1x07 (Night School)

author’s note: i just want to thank @themadkingx for proof-reading this for me! i’ve been talking to her for a couple of days and she’s so sweet! also thank you @sarcasticallystilinski for the gif! (not my gif)

masterlist

Keep reading

Second Chances (m)

Word Count: 8,833

Warning: Yoongi smut

A/N: I decided to write something a little less serious for a change! The smut turned out a little longer than I expected it to, which is also why the story turned out so close to 9k :) I am so thankful for minyoongiish who proofread this entire piece <3 Hope you enjoy~


If you had the ability to turn back time, you wouldn’t even hesitate to use it in this moment.

“Y/N?” The voice on the other end of the telephone asks. “Something the matter?”

“Oh no,” you mumble. “Fuck.” With one finger, you frantically tap the screen, desperately clinging to the hope that this is still in your hands, that you can still turns this around for the better.

Jimin’s voice sounds both curious and irritated at the same time when he speaks again. “What did you do this time? Did you put your keys in the freezer again?”

You can’t even be mad at his terribly timed comment that you’d normally be very offended about. All you do is curse softly, reading the simple message you sent like it’s a death wish.

You: Hey :) [sent 11:27am]

“Jimin!“ you exclaim, and are rewarded with a startled gasp.

"Yeesh, don’t scare me like that!” He lets out a sigh. “Stop acting all mysterious and just tell me what’s going on.”

You tap the screen again, despite knowing that it won’t help now if it didn’t help last time. A nervous gasp leaves your mouth as you turn your attention to the call. “How the fuck do I delete a message?”

Keep reading

  • Me: *sigh*
  • Cashier: What's wrong?
  • Me: It's the scent of this place. It's nostalgic. Reminds me of lavender scent of my grandmother's house. Even color of the walls remind me of the bygone era of my childhood; the dim sunsets of a fuzzy summer evenings, and faint memory of fading dreams.
  • Cashier: Ah, you want to start all over do you? I know the feeling. It's enough to drive me to the brink.
  • Me: Verily. At some point, I began to live my life in retrospect. The now doesn't matter anymore because everything has become so bland. What am I to do in this monotonous life when my happy times passed so long ago. It's as if-
  • Cashier: *turns into a 9 foot tall vibrating metal cube that deconstructs me at a molecular level and turns me into pure radium powder*
  • Guy, with that as fetish who actually wrote this post: *doesn't even jack it just looks at the screen all sweaty and breathing heavily*
  • Girlfriend: *walks into the room unannounced* Everything okay? You've been acting kind of strange recently.
  • Guy: *quickly closes all tabs* Oh, nothing. I'm just like. I'm... you know. I've been tired.
  • Girlfriend: *suspiciously* ...sure. Pizza's here by the way.
  • Guy: Okay, cool. I'll be right out. *wipes sweat from head*
  • Girlfriend: *texts best friend* He's definitely cheating. He just closed like twenty tabs on his computer!!!!!!!
  • Best Friend: Did you look through his browsing history?
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, it's all wikipedia pages about radioactive stuff. It's so fucking weird. He's either cheating or a terrorist.
  • Best Friend: That's creepy. I'd break up with him.
  • Girlfriend: I've been considering it, but it's complicated. I still feel so strongly about him. I don't want to ruin our relationship.
  • Best Friend: Sometimes you have to break things off with the people you care about the most. For a little bit anyway.
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, I get that. It's so hard though. I can't imagine life without him.
  • Best Friend: You have to do what you have to do. It's the only way to move forward. Getting stuck in a stagnant relationship can ruin you.
  • Girlfriend: I guess you're right...
  • Best Friend: *is wearing a full hazmat suit.*
  • Doctor: *walks up behind her* Jennifer, stop texting. We need you in the bottom.
  • Best Friend: Sorry, got it.
  • Best Friend: *descends in elevator, sees 9 foot tall humanoid ant corpse on the ground* Fucking gross! Do you know where it came from.
  • Doctor: No clue. It's why we called you here.
  • Best Friend: This isn't like any cryptid I've ever seen. It must be extraterrestrial in origin. Wait... is its body full of gummy worms? *hears the sound of the elevator going up behind her*
  • Best Friend: Doctor! Where are you going!? What the fuck!?
  • Doctor: Waves to her from the elevator.
  • Ant Humanoids: *appear from the shadows in the hundreds*
  • Best Friend: No, no, no, no! This can't be happening.
  • Ant Humanoids: *surround her*
  • Best Friend: Don't fucking come near me! I'm highly radioactive! You'll all die if you eat me.
  • Ant Humanoid in the back: *listening to comic book podcast*
  • Podcast Guy 1: So when it comes to Superman, I feel like there are actually two characters. Clark Kent, the man. Then there's Superman, the ideal. They're the same person but represent very different aspects of him.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Comic books are fucking stupid, my dude. *cellphone buzzes* Hold up, I gotta take this.
  • Podcast Guy 2: *gets an alert that his favorite fetish forum has updated, licks lips fuckingly*
  • Podcast Guy 2: *under breath* Oh yeah. A new radium dust sexual fanfic. Can't wait to tweak my noodle to this! Zoo wee mama!
  • Podcast Guy 1: What did you just say.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Nothing, man. We were talking about Superman. Let's continue with that.
  • Podcast Guy 1: Yeah, as I was saying. Superman would definitely be a power bottom and
That Special Time of the Month

Originally posted by antisepticdark

Summary: Fem!Reader wakes up to find that her period came during the night and now she has to deal with the guys being annoying at the office… Well mainly just Mark. Hope you guys like!

A/N: Hello! I wrote a fic, and trust me its not very good and it’s waaay longer than it needs to be. Be gentle, I’m new to the whole posting my writing thing. Also! I speak fluent Spanish so i used some slang in the fic!
“No mames”- Spanish slang/curse for “no way”/“no fucking way”
“Sentida”- Spanish for upset or offended (in this context reader is sad)
Lastly there’s a text conversation in the fic so ‘-’ is Ethan and ‘=‘ is Tyler.

Wordcount: like +2k I’m sorry this is too long bye

Requests are open? This is no good so I don’t know why anyone would be requesting but yeah you can do that if you want. Hope you guys enjoy!

Keep reading

I went on a text message rant to my wife about FFXV’s “love story” and she demanded I post it, so I typed it all out instead of screenshots because I hate myself.

Under the cut because there IS a bit of NoctLuna slamming (not slamming the people who like it, however. I’m simply making my point.)

Keep reading

The Lying Detective: A Summary
  • toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: I am SUPER EVIL
  • sherlock: i'm high and suicidal and apparently that's humorous! come fellow suicidal friend, let's tell my brother to fuck off
  • *later*
  • therapist: how's the baby?
  • john: I HAVE A BABY?? oh wait yeah :(
  • mary apparition: honestly bro u trippin ballz
  • *later*
  • sherlock, also trippin ballz: to quote hamlet, fucking nope?????
  • mrs hudson: *is suddenly james bond, shoves sherlock in the boot, drops him into john's lap* you forgot this
  • john: i don't care
  • sherlock: *drinking from a flower vase* apparently my abusive suicidal drug use is still v humorous at this point!! lmao i'm gonna die in 2 weeks
  • *later*
  • toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: *holds up a bowl of cornflakes* i'm a CEREAL killer! get it?? do you tho???? imagine if my bff the queen murdered people anyway i'm really evil in case u forgot
  • kids in hospital: and spider-man couldn't come visit us because????
  • *later*
  • faith: hi :)
  • sherlock: shit i did the bad decsioning oh well i'll do it more btw i'm STILL suicidal and overdosing
  • john: ...
  • john: you waNNA FKN GO M8???
  • sherlock, bleeding, still suicidal and now bashed by his best friend: this is all my fault and totally portraying a healthy friendship between two people that isn't abusive
  • toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: btw guys i am still over here being EVIL
  • *later*
  • mrs hudson: I'M TIRED OF THESE MUTHAFUKIN PEEPS IN MY MUTHAFUKIN HOUSE
  • mary: sherlock my guy my pal, if you could lean into your fatal manic abuse of drugs and depression so you can be pals with my husband that'd be tight of u go get wrecked lov u
  • sherlock: i wanna die
  • toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: murdering people IS SO FUN!! I AM CLEARLY SO SO EVIL RN!
  • john: fuk u m8
  • sherlock: omg thanks for coming to save me at the last minute even tho i have been suicidal and overdosing from literally the start of this episode.
  • john: ur a dick
  • mary ghost: lol he should wear the hat
  • *later*
  • sherlock: *apparently still has irene's orgasm as his text alert even tho he apparently never texts her back and it would expose her as still being alive*
  • john: aw thats cute! happy birthday btw speaking of texting i too was texting a hoe
  • sherlock: aw damn :( sucks bro :(
  • john: yeah ikr??? mary's dead but i still wish i'd done more than text my side-hoe i am literally saying that ur relationship with irene adler is the same as this
  • sherlock: *literally does and says nothing*
  • mary apparition: lmao i'm dead!
  • john: basically, life is short so u should text her back anyway i'm gonna cry now
  • sherlock: aw :( life sucks :( let's hug it out while a montage revealing that your bus-hoe and therapist was my secret sister who has literally never existed before now and that my brother gets laid apparently these 2 things are relevant to the montage
  • john: *sobbing* btw i don't think u killed mary
  • sherlock: that's okay! u only beat the living shit out of me for it so badly i had to be hospitalized before!! this is literally gaslighting but whatevs its okay we're hugging i guess
  • toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: lolololololol i am still EVILLLL
  • mary apparition: wear the hat
  • sherlock: kay :p
  • sherlock: btw bestiie it's totally okay that u bashed me and cheated on ur wife like.... me texting the only person i romantically love and u being a cheating asshat are basically the same we r all human and i have been psychologically abused and traumatized to the point where i think that's totally fine :)
  • john: cool! anywho!! i just remembered i have a kid and i've left it with friends even tho one of the main points of this ep was that i have no one so ig2g
  • *later*
  • euros/sherrington/whateverthefuck: bye now time for u to have the death i am another classic case of moffatiss villainizing women, showing their mysogyny and incapability of creating female characters independent of male ones :)

He wasn’t ok.

College was hard, harder than he’d expected, and he wasn’t ok.

Nursey had barely slept last night, thinking about college and exams and how he was going to fail and he might as well drop out and move home because he was going to end up back there anyway and disappointing his parents and his team. 

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anonymous asked:

my apologies if this is an annoying or nosy question, of course feel free to ignore it if you don't want to answer, but in case it sounds like fun - would you care to share a list of creed's commands?

Oh goodness, I did this a little while ago but-

platz/down: competition down/pet down

sitz/sit: competition sit/pet sit

wait: pet stay

fuss/heel: competition heel (left finish)/service heel

watch me: focus command

go in: crate command

away: get out of this room

out: drop it

leave it: self explanatory

front: come to front

come: self explanatory

finish: right finish

left/right: momentum pull turns

turn: service heel turns

pull me: momentum pull

stand: competition standstay

stack: self explanatory

under: perpendicular tuck under legs or furniture

tuck: parallel tuck under legs or furniture

‘tween: tactical heeling (between legs) start position 

march: tactical heeling Now With Motion ™

gib laut/speak: competition bark (for b&h)/pet bark

shh quiet: silly pet trick (quiet yip)

what’s he doing?: current “on guard” command for bitework

get ‘em: current “attack” command for bitework, probably changing to packen

hit it!: paw target

what’s this?: nose target

spin: silly pet trick (spin)

up: silly pet trick (balance on haunches) - not very good at this one yet

upup: jump on me

on this: get on what I’m pointing to

bring me that: service retrieve, point

keys: service retrieve with keys

wallet: service retrieve with wallet

phone: service retrieve with cell phone, do not recommend you will scratch up your screen

off: get off of furniture

feet: get off of people (no jumping command)

say hi: noseboop greeting (turns into a jump if he likes/knows that person)

give kisses: lick

give hugs: hug

where’s my puppy?: I can’t see you so fix that, but you don’t have to actually come back

stick around: you’re near the edge of where I want you, don’t go any further away

in your yard: get back in the property line

settle: stop pacing, find something to entertain you

on your place: go to place command

hold this: service hold command- not very good at it yet

back it up: back up command

go busy: pee

go potty: poop

free: release

git outta there: whatever you are currently eating/licking/rolling in/etc stop doing that

enough: do what you’re doing with less energy please

stop: stop what you’re doing completely

brace: service brace command- not frequently used

squish: lean against my thigh as you walk (for tight spaces- SD command)

block: service block command

show me: offer what is owwie so I can investigate/treat

gotcha!: collar grab/collar offer

go play!: disengage and go play with your toy/dog friends

wanna swim?: throw in pool offer

load up: jump in the car (taught for PAT)

c’mon: jump out of the car (taught for PAT)

I got it: alert release- stop alerting, I got your message

can’t see: YOU ARE BLOCKING THE TV MOVE

hup!: jump command

And I’m sure I’m missing a few!

Furry Roommates

Pairing: Arthur Ketch x Reader
Word count: 1,123
Warnings: Fluff. Out of character Ketch. Borderline Crack fic.
Written for my 2,000 Followers Celebration
Requested by: @leliannah Prompt: Cats / Quote: “I may have accidently sorta adopted five cats” 

Authors Note: So I had every intention of making this a crack fic with these prompts and this character, but when I was done it came out more fluffy.  So it’s a fluffy/semi-crack fic.  Enjoy !

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emilysidhe  asked:

Hey! No pressure to answer if you don't wanna, but you've mentioned liking comics!Ollie a few times and I mostly know him secondhand through Birds of Prey. So my main impression of him is "cocky asshole serial cheater Dinah is better off without" and I was wondering if you'd be interested in talking about what I'm missing about his character not reading his own comics? Thanks!

Sure! So here’s the thing: Ollie-as-cheater is a retcon. The timeline goes something like this [CW: rape]:

  • 1941-1969: Ollie has no real recurring love interest. (There’s Miss Arrowette, aka Bonnie King, Cissie’s mom, but she’s only portrayed as a potential love interest for Ollie in one of her four Silver Age appearances.)
  • 1969: Ollie develops his leftwing hothead personality and falls head over heels for Dinah (who originally was a good ten years older than him, which is a dynamic I love).
  • 1988: While in a committed relationship with Dinah, Ollie is raped by Shado, who bears a child as a result. He has no knowledge of this happening and doesn’t know the child is his.
  • 1993: Ollie is kissed by a teenage runaway he and Dinah have taken in, and Dinah dumps him for not pushing her away.
  • 1995-2000: Ollie dies. Chuck Dixon relentlessly portrays Ollie as a lovable but incorrigible horndog in both Connor’s Green Arrow and Dinah’s Birds of Prey, largely to contrast virginal, shy (and likely queer, deal with it Homophobic Chuck) Connor with his father and to explain some of Dinah’s issues during this period.
  • 2000: Ollie is resurrected in Quiver, which is my favorite Green Arrow story, but has a few terrible moments in it, including one in which he is depicted as willingly cheating on Dinah with Shado.
  • 2002-2016: Ollie is dragged through a decade and a half of character assassination in which more infidelity is retconned into his backstory, he’s revealed to have knowingly abandoned Connor and his mother after Connor was born, he cheats on Dinah some more, their relationship becomes increasingly toxic and physically violent, and everything is terrible. Honestly, I’m not sure how bad it eventually got, because I jumped ship completely after Lian’s death.
  • 2016: Green Arrow: Rebirth happens and my big dumb romantic hippie rascal came BACK and I love him so much I want to cry about it!

Ollie has definitely never been perfect. The only part of your description I disagree with, actually, is “serial cheater,” because he is cocky (but I like cocky) and he is an asshole (but I like assholes) and he isn’t good enough for Dinah (but no one is). And he and Dinah weren’t perfect during the 25 years or so they were together before his death. She ostensibly dumped him for kissing Marianne, but this was coming on years of being impulsive and irresponsible (one time he went out to run errands and ended up in a dog race in Alaska).

But man, the writing of the two of them after he came back to life and Kevin Smith left the book was just dreadful, and I largely blame Judd Winick for that (although I goddamn hate what Brad Meltzer did, too). Winick turned their banter into toxic fighting - at one point, Ollie calls Dinah a slut and accuses her of sleeping with an entire football team, she hits him, and then they get really turned on by this and do it. No, Judd, hitting is not “sexy” when women do it, especially when they’re one of the top ranked martial artists in the world. Around the same time, Babs is shocked to learn that Dinah is marrying Ollie, “who fathered Connor with that Shado woman” - except Connor’s mother is Moonday and Shado raped Ollie. It’s a combination of comics not accepting that men can be raped (and Grell really didn’t write it as rape, just a ~thing that happened~), and writers basing their characterizations on retcons instead of the original text and that particular aspect of Ollie’s character snowballing.

I’m willing to accept that Ollie’s a tomcat, no problem. The man has two (or three! I personally believe that Cissie is his) illegitimate children with (two (or three) different women, none of whom are The Love Of His Life. I have no problem with a characterization of Ollie as Enthusiastic About Sex. But the cheating retcon really gets my goat. (As does the retcon that he knew about Connor from birth, which I simply refuse to accept. It’s my Green Arrow Rubicon and I won’t cross it.)

As to why I like him: again, he’s not perfect. He’s a mess. (I like messes! Look at Booster Gold. Look at Daredevil.) But he’s a try-hard mess. He’s so passionate and he cares so much. He makes the spiciest chili and yells at people about recycling and spends half an hour waxing his beard into points every morning and accidentally brings a new teenager home every time he goes outside. He is cranked to eleven 100% of the time and even if he sometimes goes too far or gets it wrong, it’s never out of apathy.

Ollie is a showboater and irresponsible and he fucks up all the time - with Roy, with Connor, with Dinah. But he loves with his whole self and he wants the hero community to be better than they are and he has committed to a silly theme to a truly ridiculous degree and I just adore him.

If I have convinced you to give Ollie a shot (ha, arrow pun), here are my recs:

  • Green Lantern/Green Arrow by Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams, otherwise known as the Hard Traveling Heroes era. Be warned that this is 70s liberalism so there are some well-intentioned but reeeeeeally dated Hot Takes on race and class, and some real opposition to women’s lib. (But oh boy does Adams draw a beautiful Dinah.)
  • Hunter’s Moon by Mike Grell. The Grell era on GA actually starts with the miniseries The Longbow Hunters, which spun off into Ollie’s first ongoing series; Hunter’s Moon collects the first issues from that run. But The Longbow Hunters, though visually stunning as well as important (it moved Ollie and Dinah to Seattle, introduced Shado, and temporarily removed Dinah’s Canary Cry), has a lot of sexual violence (against Dinah) and Orientalism in it. I’m sick of books with violence against women being the Important Comics so I’d rather boost Hunter’s Moon, which shows Dinah going to therapy and working through what’s happened to her as a person with agency instead of using her trauma as a plot point to motivate Ollie. But I’m including Grell in here because Dinah’s assault aside, he depicts Ollie and Dinah’s relationship as healthy, complex, and joyously sexual, and I love it.
  • Quiver and Sounds of Violence by Kevin Smith and Phil Hester. Ollie’s resurrection and the sequel. As noted above, Smith hits a couple sour notes for me, but I mostly love his Ollie, plus he introduces Mia here and I would die for her. And Hester’s Ollie has imprinted on my heart forever as my Ollie. (Weirdly, Smith and O’Neil share the odd distinction of writing my favorite Green Arrow and my least favorite Daredevil.)
  • Green Arrow: Rebirth and the current ongoing series by Benjamin Percy and Otto Schmidt. Can be clunky, but the heart is there, as Ollie tries really really hard to unlearn his privilege, be worthy of Dinah, and repair his relationships with Diggle (!) and Roy. Also features his kid sister Emiko Queen, who was created somewhere during the time that I was ignoring Green Arrow comics but she is PERFECT and I would fight a mountain lion for her. In some beautiful parallel universe Mia and Cissie and Emi all live with Ollie and make fun of him 100% of the time and it’s beautiful.

In conclusion, THANK YOU if you made it through all that nonsense, and please enjoy this ridiculous macro from LJ user parsimonia that I saved a million years ago and which makes me laugh every time I look at it:

About Stef and Brallie

I need to start by saying that I love Stef, normally . She’s so awesome and I would love to have a mom like her. But if I was Brandon? If I was Brandon I would have honestly married fucking Cortney if it meant being away from her. And I hate Cortney. 

Let me explain. 

In season one, when Callie is still a new addition to the family, a girl that wasn’t supposed to stay in their house for more than a few weeks, a year at most, Stef reminds Brandon that foster siblings aren’t allowed to engage in a romantic relationship. Brandon isn’t interested at the time, he’s still with Talya, but he’s “an horny teenager” so better safe than sorry, right? Right. Fine. Legit. 

As we know, Brandon can’t really help falling for Callie after that. He knew he couldn’t, sure, but he probably thought that they could wait and sooner or later Callie would be out of the house, and it’s not like he could just erase his feelings. That’s not how feelings works. Also, it’s not like Callie was blameless here. She kissed Brandon after knowing that she was going to get adopted, remember? Sure, in season 3, during the interview she says that she wanted to fuck the adoption up before something else fucked it up, because she was scared. Doesn’t seem like a good way to fuck it up to me - if Jude hadn’t walked in on them they would have probably never been discovered and then what? I’d like to ask her. Also, we knew from her conversation with Wyatt at the hospital before then that she already had feelings for Brandon too, she just didn’t think she deserved him (to quote Wyatt, she was “too fucked up”). But at the wedding she says that she knows what she deserves now - meaning Brandon. She felt safe because she finally had a family who wanted her, she thought for the first time that she deserved everything everyone else deserved. To love who she loved. But Jude walks in on them and she runs away. 

Brandon confesses to his moms that he kissed Callie, which - btw - it’s his first fucking mistake. He didn’t kiss her. SHE kissed HIM. It’s interesting because he keeps saying that it was him, even during the interview in season 3. I don’t know if he wanted it so much that he remembers being the one instigating it, but this mistake plants the first seed of distrust in Stef, who probably can’t help making parallels between her son and Liam, since, you know, Brandon says Callie ran away because of him, when she actually ran away because of what Jude said. 

The moms forbid Brandon to go see Callie but he doesn’t listen. He loves her and he doesn’t want her to believe that there’s nobody out there for her anymore. And - let me point it out - he was right. She needed to know someone was still there for her, even if she had run away and was high risk and whatever. So yeah, seeing Brandon was what she needed. But Stef doesn’t trust him and she gets him a restraining order, like he’s stalking Callie, like that beautiful hug never happened (and for all we know, Stef might not know it happened). 

Brandon doesn’t care. Brallie keeps meeting secretly. Stef doesn’t know. Eventually, they both realize that Callie needs a family and Brandon backs down and lets her go. Because he loves her. So much. And he wants her to have all she needs. And she needs a family more than she needs him. Fyi, this it’s his most beautiful act of love. 

After the first break up it seems like Brandon is the only one hung up on them. He’s hurt, he can’t forget. I don’t blame him, since he has to see her everyday. He tries. He’s vulnerable at this point and Dani keeps planting ideas in his head. That he should get her back before she gets adopted and stuff. Things blow up during the winter ball and everything Stef ends up hearing is “I realized today that you didn’t lead me on. You just never felt the way I did. What you needed, what you wanted, it was never me,” which, AGAIN, makes it look like his feelings aren’t reciprocated, not really. She doesn’t know that Callie followed him before he got into the cop’s car to tell him that what she had said about Wyatt wasn’t true - meaning that she still loved him too, since she told him that lie just so he could forget about her. But she doesn’t want him to at the end. 

Things are friendly between Brallie later, up until the GU fund riser. Callie kisses Brandon when she discovers that Robert isn’t gonna sign her adoption papers. Later - in season 3 I think - she tells the girls of GU that she did it because she thought she was giving up Brandon for nothing. Meaning - she still loves him. Brandon tells her that he doesn’t want her to give up on her dream (they promised each other, right?). Stef doesn’t know that they let each other go again, for the second time. 

Callie doesn’t take it well. She asks him if it’s because of Lou. Brandon breaks up with her. Again. 

Season 3, Brallie’s adventure in Mexico. Stef finds a pregnancy test and the first thing that comes to her mind is “you don’t think callie is pregnant with brandon’s child, do you?” How did she even go there?? All she knows at this point is that Callie and Brandon kissed once. Which makes me believe that she can see that something is still going on between them but doesn’t want to acknowledge it. 

Brallie has sex. It’s consensual. And they break it off again as soon as the adoption gets through. 

Callie tells the moms the truth and everything Stef can think about is “Brandon took advantage of the fact that she was vulnerable”, when, honestly, it was about “giving up Brandon for nothing”. 

Stef confronts Brandon about it and she doesn’t listen, won’t listen to him. She accuses Brandon in all the ways possible and never asks Callie about her feelings. At this point, Stef only knows that Brandon is in love with Callie, she never heard Callie say that she is in love with Brandon, she doesn’t know that Callie almost went to live with Robert to stay with Brandon, that she wanted to put his keyboard in her apartment, that she was the first to say I love you. 

For all season 4 Stef treats Brandon as some sort of predator and he can’t stand it, obviously, and stays with Cortney. The only person defending him is Mike, who sees the same thing happening with AJ. Stef keeps taking Callie’s side. 

And it makes me so angry. She doesn’t know the whole story, never cared to sit her kids down to ask them honestly about it, never took the time to talk about it with Callie! When Callie said they had sex, Stef brushed it off like she didn’t even want to know about it and went to bite B’s head off for it instead. She told him in 03x08 that she could see that she hadn’t been there for Brandon about Callie and she could see now that he was heartbroken, but after that? Did she do anything to be there for him? She didn’t. She kept accusing him, suspecting him, blaming him. To the point that she can’t even see Brallie in the same room together without getting tense. 

I’d like to say that I don’t blame her 100%, since she doesn’t have the whole picture, but I can’t because it’s her fault she doesn’t have all the information she needs in the first place! I blame her for being a shitty parent to Brandon, for playing favorites, for being judgmental and closing her eyes and not listening when literally EVERYBODY knows Brandon and Callie are a thing after 0.5 seconds in their presence. Sophia didn’t even need to see them together to know that Callie was in love with him! Like, seriously, Stef decided not to see what was going on, she ignored her kid like he’s some kind of rapist, did NOTHING to comfort him when he couldn’t go to Julliard (and yes, he was to blame, but not even a hug??). The only person that honestly stopped for a moment to ask him how he felt about it is Callie! And then you’re surprised he’s in love with her? Please. Brandon literally helped everyone in that house and Stef treats him like he’s a criminal. 

So now I hope she’ll get scared every time someone points out that Brandon and Callie look like they’re dating and not like siblings, because she had it coming. 

She told Mike that he couldn’t play favorites between Brandon and AJ, but that’s exactly what she has been doing with Brandon and Callie. She keeps choosing Callie over him. So Mike had it wrong, it wasn’t because of Callie that Brandon wouldn’t move back home, it was because of Stef. 

I can’t believe nobody is calling her out about treating Brandon like shit. Sure, Brandon isn’t perfect and he made his mistakes, but not everything is on him. Callie is as much to blame as he is, and yes, she’s dealing with other drama, but it can’t always be “good old Brandon who has to take it up the chin”. It takes two to tango. It’s just easier to blame Brandon than acknowledging that she should have taken Brallie’s relationship seriously when Brandon told her about it the first time instead of taking a fucking restraining order against her son. Brandon was right in 03x08 - she humiliated him. And she’s STILL doing it. KEEPS doing it. 

I’d divorce the family too if I was him. No shit. 

anonymous asked:

Could I ask headcanons for Dazai, Chuuya, Mori and Fyodor with a s/o who suddenly have an asthma attack while they don't have one since childhood? It happened to me recently and I didn't miss it at all (╥﹏╥)

Dazai Osamu

  • In true Dazai fashion, your boyfriend freaks out a bit, but rolls with it, pretending he’s perfectly calm. He sweeps you up in his arms, immediately intending to rush you to the hospital before you get any worse. The only way you avoid a doctor’s visit is if you insist that there’s no way he’s stuffing you in a hospital bed over an asthma attack.
  • As soon as you’re breathing normally, Dazai launches into a long-winded speech, proclaiming how worried he was as he tugs you into his arms for a crushing hug. You’re only allowed to perish in a double suicide with him, Dazai reminds, planting a kiss on your nose before dropping you on the couch to rest.
  • While you’re resting at home after the attack, Dazai raises a huge fuss, mass texting all of his ADA coworkers and suggesting they come and visit the ‘withering patient’. He’s immediately a bit salty if someone shows up without flowers until Kunikida points out that the pollen might trigger another attack; then he pretends that was all a test to see if the visitors were being attentive enough. 
  • If you refuse to see a doctor, Dazai bugs you constantly about talking to Yosano. Even though she might be terrifying sometimes, the woman certainly knows what she’s about, and consulting her is at least a bit more casual than a full-on scheduled appointment with a specialist. If you try to protest, Dazai simply decides to pester you about it until you change your mind. He brings it up at the breakfast table, while you’re snuggling on the couch, even while you’re rolling around in bed if it’s necessary. You will not pass by two hours without another, “Hey, have you called up Yosano yet?”.
  • Even if you only have one attack, Dazai often calls you his ‘precious invalid’. Expect to be pummeled with sick-jokes, because Dazai peppers them into conversation at every opportunity. Can’t lift something? Dazai’s sure it’s you’re deteriorating muscles. Have a headache? According to Dazai, that’s tied to your faulty lungs. Don’t worry, though; if Dazai grows too annoying, he’ll repent with a shower of kisses.

Nakahara Chuuya

  • The moment you manage to wheeze that you’re having an asthma attack, Chuuya’s instantly panicking. Unless you mentioned it before, he didn’t even know you had asthma, much less how he should treat an attack! He firmly crushes his dismay, though, channeling all of his energy into looking after you. As soon as he’s swept you up, gently carrying you some private place where you can sit peacefully without being bothered, Chuuya’s ransacking your pockets and bag, searching for an emergency inhaler.
  • Even if you insist that you’re fine, Chuuya’s immediately on the phone with a Port Mafia doctor, demanding that they see you now. If you don’t want to meet with a medic, Chuuya simply ignores you. This isn’t your decision. After he’s sure that moving you won’t somehow accidentally seal your doom, Chuuya picks you up, cradling you in his arms as he carries you to his car and practically speeds right through the doctor’s front office wall.
  • As soon as you’ve returned home, Chuuya coaxes you to slide into bed next to him so you can rest up with some snuggling. If you don’t want to sleep for the rest of the day, he’ll put on a movie you’ve both been wanting to see and tug you into his shoulder. If you’re not up for that much stimulation, Chuuya lets you use his chest as a pillow as he reads aloud from a poetry volume he’s been flipping through, his velvet voice soothing every frayed cord of your soul.
  • After he’s 100% sure that you’re better, Chuuya surprises you with an elaborate date to take your mind off the whole business. Count on plenty of fairy lights sprinkled around the patio of the waterside restaurant he’s rented out, tracks of your favorite violin music wafting over the speakers, and endless servings of your guilty-pleasure foods as Chuuya pampers you beyond belief. The night’s finished out with him swirling you around the patio in a romantic dance; it’s slow, of course. He doesn’t want you to risk straining yourself, of course.
  • Speaking of straining yourself, Chuuya absolutely loses his mind when you do so. Whenever you’re so much as out of breath, he grows a bit nervous, worrying that you’ll suddenly be overcome by an asthma attack. Chuuya won’t stop you from doing anything you want, naturally, but if something requires strenuous activity, his eyes are glued on you the entire time.

Mori Ougai

  • The moment your symptoms started flaring up, Mori grows suspicious. Even if you haven’t told him you’ve struggled with asthma in the past, he knows it’s a common enough condition that alarm bells are ringing in his mind. In case it’s really nothing, Mori doesn’t immediately whip out a stethoscope and medication, but he keeps close tabs on you..
  • As soon as you’re hit by an attack, Mori’s doctor side springs to life. Calmly and coolly, he talks you through what’s he’s up to as he searches through your pockets for an emergency inhaler. Whatever you need, he sets a subordinate on getting as he effortlessly picks you up, carrying you to somewhere private where he can easily treat you. Under Mori’s care, you’re soon breathing normally as he works to rid your body of your tight lungs and wheezing coughs.
  • If you’ve been wanting anything, now’s the time to beg, because Mori’s wrapped around your finger (not that he isn’t normally, mind you) for the rest of the day. He pampers you like it’s his job; whatever you want, whether it’s cotton candy and snuggles or a necklace completely stuffed with five carat blue diamonds, it’s yours. Mori dedicates the rest of the day to waiting on you hand and foot, filling your every demand as soon as the words fall from your lips.
  • Mori’s office, and anywhere else in Port Mafia HQ you’re often seen, becomes a no-smoking zone. As you might expect from a Mafia organization, there’s a lot of smoking going on, so this rule raises a lot of friction. Mori doesn’t particularly care, though. Anyone bold enough to question him about it is immediately shut down with a steely glare.
  • From now on, Mori ‘suggests’ that you keep an emergency inhaler on you at all times. He’ll bother you until this inhaler practically becomes your new best friend; no matter where you are, or what you’re doing, Mori’s not happy if your inhaler’s out of reach. If you do forget, though, it’s not a huge deal; he’s got another backup inhaler stuffed in his coat pocket, just in case. 

Fyodor Dostoevsky

  • As soon as your first symptom hits, Fyodor’s concerned. Dealing with his own anemia has trained his eyes to spot the signs of oncoming attacks, and your body seems like it’s trying to tell you something. If you brush it off, Fyodor doesn’t push, but he keeps his eyes trained on you in case his suspicions are correct.
  • When your attack starts, Fyodor instantly shifts into problem-solving mode. If you’re still able to speak, he calmly asks you if you know what you’re suffering from, and if you’ve got any medications you need. As he searches through your things for an emergency inhaler, he’s working through no less than three different plans, mentally preparing for every possible situation. 
  • Fyodor’s mind is racing as he considers which doctor he should bring you to, but if you stop him in his tracks, insisting you don’t want medical attention, he defers to your judgement. He’s suffered through enough freezing waiting rooms to know that when you’re in pain, under a stethoscope is the last place you want to be. Fyodor trusts that if you truly need a doctor, you’ll let him know in time for him to arrange a meeting.
  • Nobody knows the struggles of sickness like Fyodor, so there’s no one better equipped to comfort you. He rubs your back and shoulders, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you ride out the attack, waiting for your inhaler to work. Fyodor’s always ghosting across your skin, just enough so that you know he’s there, but not so much that he’s overbearing or stressing your already struggling body.
  • For the rest of the day, Fyodor pays extra sweet attention to you. He rarely takes a day off, but this is one of the few occasions he’ll get away from his work to waste time with you. Naturally, he’s not about to let you do anything that requires effort, so he curls up with you on the couch, a gigantic volume of poetry folded through his hands. Fyodor’s not the best at reading it aloud; instead, he flips through the pages, finding his favorite verses and explaining what the words mean to him. If you snuggle up a bit, and he’s feeling extra sentimental, he’ll even describe how he sees images of you wound through the poems.
Study Breaks

Author’s note: No prompt sorry!!
Because of the new announcement and the fact that I’ve been wanting to write MakoHaru again for a while uuuughhh pls forgive me

Summary: Haru wants Makoto’s attention.

Word count: 1k


Two weeks, eighteen hours and fifteen minutes.

That was how long it had been since their last kiss and Haru’s left eyebrow wouldn’t stop twitching.

Obviously his boyfriend had his reasons: exam week. He had four exams coming up starting next week and had already started reviewing three weeks ago like the good student he was. Haru had been watching him stress in those said weeks, offering massages, movie nights and of course, swim dates, but Makoto would decline every time with an apologizing smile, because, “I’m studying, Haru. Sorry.”

At some point Haru stopped asking him and decided to lay on his bed, texting Rin and the others, playing around with apps and —more often than not— watching Makoto write. This was the only way he’d get to hang out with him and since Makoto didn’t particularly mind, this became their routine.

Haru would enter Makoto’s dorm, completely wet from practice, take a shower, change (sometimes he’d borrow one of Makoto’s shirts but whatever) and join him in his room. It was nice to spend time together in silence, but Haru really started missing his daily dose of affection.

Why was this a thing?

Usually he wasn’t all about cuddling, hugging, smooching and all that mushy relationship stuff, but Makoto’s hugs were nice and warm, his kisses were soft and tender, his mumbled words were sweet and caring and god, this was killing him. He had grown used to it because Makoto had been doing these things every single day for the past three years, and here he was, longing for some attention like a drug addict.

It was one of those days again; Haru watching Makoto study from the corner of his eye and about to go grab a snack from the kitchen when an idea popped into his head. From his position he could see a patch of the skin of Makoto’s lower back as his shirt had ridden up just a tiny bit. It was enough to bare the dip and a glimpse of his boxers.

After blinking three times, Haru put his phone down on the pillow, slowly got up and walked over to the chair. As expected Makoto was so absorbed in his work that he hadn’t noticed a thing, which kind of made Haru doubt his future actions, especially since he knew how jumpy the other could be.

Oh, well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

He lifted one single finger and lightly ran it over the revealed skin.

The loudest shriek he had ever heard echoed through the small room and Makoto nearly leaped out of his chair if he hadn’t grabbed the edge of his desk. He looked up at Haru over his shoulder, glasses balancing on the edge of his nose, cheeks flushed and mouth open in shock.

“H-Haru! You know I’m ticklish!”

“I know,” Haru answered dully. “That’s why I did it.”

His response sounded like that of a sad puppy. “Is there something you want?”

“For you to take a break.”

“Ah… I can’t. I gotta finish this chapter. No, wait!”

Haru’s patience had officially left the building so he firmly grabbed Makoto’s waist with both hands and started squeezing. Since Makoto had pretty much grown immune to tickling due to his constant play fights with his brother and sister, Haru knew he had to catch him off guard if he wanted to get a reaction and go for his worst spots right away.

Poor Makoto was rocking back and forth in his chair, trying to grab Haru’s wrists while letting out one bark of laughter after another, accompanied with several snorts and yips. Most of the time their tickle fights were one-sided in which Makoto would have the upper hand, so Haru knew the tables could turn any minute and he had to be fast and thorough.

And so, Haru wormed his hands under the sweater Makoto was wearing and started fluttering his fingertips all over his back. This had Makoto literally screaming with laughter and his entire body jumping in synch with every little movement Haru’s fingers made, head thrown back against Haru’s chest and lips stretched into one of the silliest grins he had ever seen.

Haru was absolutely enthralled by the crinkles around Makoto’s eyes, the dimples in his cheeks and most of all his gorgeous laughter. The low and short chuckles he was used to were nothing compared to the cute high-pitched laughter Haru was hearing right now. Now that he thought about it, this was probably the first time Haru had ever gotten such a good look at his face during a tickle fight.

“Stohop! Haruuu!”

Poor Makoto was forever failing at getting a hold of Haru’s hands as they kept switching places, which was one of the techniques Makoto himself had used on him not too long ago. He pleadingly looked up at Haru with tearful eyes and Haru, wearing a somewhat smug expression, stared back down and stopped tickling for a few seconds.

“Take a break.” And give me attention.

“Ugh, can’t I at least finish my sen— Eeh! Okay, okay! Break, I’ll take a break!”

Unfortunately for him, Haru’s hands had still been near his ribs and threateningly curled their fingers, brushing lightly over the flesh.

Satisfied, Haru pulled back and sat back down on the bed, keeping a very casual posture. It was really hard to bite back his victorious grin that he was wearing on the inside so he hoped that Makoto would come kiss him soon. He sat there quietly as Makoto obediently took off his glasses, closed his notebook and went to join him.

Haru-chan.”

Or not.

In less than two seconds he was struck down, fearfully watching as his merciless, thirsty for revenge ass of a boyfriend smiled down at him. His legs were trapped between the other’s, hands pinned on either side of his head and Haru knew that the next few minutes of his life were gonna be very long and very bad.

Makoto was the kindest person he knew, except when it came to tickle fights in which he was the most ruthless and experienced on top of that.

“If you wanted my attention that badly, you could’ve just said so.”

Shut up.”

In the end he did get his kisses and cuddles, though.

‘I Love You’: a man’s perspective

I haven’t made the rounds yet this morning, but already last night I’ve seen multiple posts that seem to want to either downgrade or erase the meaning behind Sherlock’s words to Molly Hooper. I find it insanely amusing, because had those words been to John Watson, people would be wetting themselves, but because it was for Molly, people are climbing all over themselves to again deny this character her actual fair due.

My husband, who watches Sherlock with me, had some very interesting perspectives on The Final Problem. He tends to read the show textually, without shipping or all the other nonsense we as fandom people get into.  I tend to trust what he says only because he has no ulterior motives, like zero. Even my own ship doesn’t really mean a damn thing to him. He knows I love it, but he’s not swayed by my reading or my desires at all.  

His reading of The Final Problem was that this was Eurus effectively unlocking the original Sherlock Holmes.  This was Sherlock’s sister, bringing him home, just as he was bringing her home.  To do that, she had to undo what she did when she took Victor Trevor away from him at that young age.  She took a little boy who was filled with bright, wonderful, hot emotion, and she made him lock that away.  She made him like her, and to my husband, it seemed like that was never what Eurus wanted.  

The scenes inside Sherrinford were about systematically making Sherlock face each single, major emotion that he’s refused to feel all these years: anger, fear, sadness, and above all…love.  And no, I don’t mean love for your best friend, that’s already been addressed, and that was already the easiest thing for Sherlock to unlock in himself. He basically did that in S1.  Sherlock loves John, his best friend, just like he loved Victor.  The parallels are spelled out for you in the clearest of ways.  

Sherlock’s locking away of his ‘sexuality’ was already broken open in S2 with Belgravia.  Irene Adler represented a part of Sherlock that really, really wanted out.  It was confusing as hell for him, as we saw, but he still managed to deal with it.  Sex is sex is sex.  It’s meaningful, and at the same time, can also be meaningless.  I personally never saw Irene as meaningless, far from it.  But I do think her special place in Sherlock’s “unlocking” was more physical than emotional.  Hence, we were reminded of this by the moan of her text tone. I personally think Sherlock’s sexuality is firmly unlocked at this point, no need to revisit it again and again.  Something that remained hidden though, very deep down, was Sherlock’s ability, willingness and understanding of a deeper love, and what that means.  This is where Eurus comes in.

The scene with the coffin was very carefully done, both by the writers and on the part of Eurus’ planning.  In fact, if you listen carefully to Eurus’ words, she states exactly why she did it: you lost, look what you did to her, look what you did to yourself, all those complicated, complex emotions, emotional context.  All of those things are things people feel when they love someone (romantic love, since I’m sure I need to spell it out for some viewers).  You feel elated, but you also feel scared.  You may also hate yourself because you probably feel the person you love deserves BETTER than you.  Should you act on it or let them go find someone better.  Do you have the strength to give up parts of yourself for them?  Do they have the strength to give up parts of themselves for you?  It’s scary as hell, y’all!!

 My hub says, to him, the first time Sherlock says ‘I love you’ to Molly Hooper, he didn’t mean it…or at least Sherlock thinks he didn’t mean it. Then, the second time, he did mean it, and he knows it.  That is why he smashed the coffin…that was perhaps the biggest emotion he’d locked away, and he was consumed and confused by it.  For a man who has spent decades pushing love away, it came roaring in within 3 minutes, and he couldn’t push it away. Eurus wouldn’t let him push it away, and more importantly, Molly Hooper wouldn’t let him push it away. That’s why she turned the tables on him and made him say it first.  She inadvertently helped Eurus, which I’m sure was her plan all along (if you believe she’s as much of a supernatural badass as she’s shown to be).

My husband’s purely textual reading of Sherlock’s smashing the coffin with ‘I love you’ on it is that he DID mean it, but he wasn’t sure what that meant to him, and it scares him, greatly.  He said that looked like a man who was pissed that he LOVES.  He spent his entire life working at not loving, and here he is, loving this woman, but now he isn’t sure what to do about it, because he’s not even sure what that really means.  He doesn’t understand it…yet.  Love like that is incredibly strong, true love I mean, not “Hey let’s bone” love.  He said that wasn’t the actions of a man who doesn’t really care.  He said, as a man, if I had to get a woman to say that and I didn’t really love her, I wouldn’t care as much.  I surely wouldn’t care enough to smash an entire coffin to bits with my bear hands.

Lastly, my husband said something I thought was incredibly interesting about how he reads Sherlock.  He said he thinks the reason Sherlock hasn’t really pursued any other relationships with women, not seriously that is, is that on some level he really knew he loved Molly, but that he felt HE wasn’t good enough for HER.  He thinks Sherlock, for all of his arrogance, actually doesn’t think he’s a good man.  He knows Molly Hooper deserves a good man, someone to love her exactly how he thinks she should be loved, and he’s terrified he ISNT that man, or he CANT be that man.  His rage at smashing that coffin was basically anger at himself, anger at himself for loving this woman who really deserves more.

So, from a man who views this show with as much pure text as possible, he thinks that “I Love You” was real, but he thinks Sherlock simply doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know what it means.  He said love is the scariest thing, especially to someone who’s lived closed off.  He’s had an upbringing that, without going into details, was a bit devoid of emotional support from people he needed it from. That means that learning how to show love was incredibly, incredibly difficult for him.  Trust me, I’ve been here for the entire thing.  It took years for him to learn how to show it.  It took me years too…in fact I still have massive trouble with it. People who’ve lived not understanding how to love since young childhood…it takes us a very long time to learn how to do it.  

My husband and I are not the kind of people who go on romantic ballroom dancing dates and snuggle on the Tunnel of Love ride.  We’re just not those kind of people…but we do love each other very much.  We have our way of showing it that works for us. There’s no one else I’d rather trust my mind, body and soul to.  That was first built on friendship, then trust, then love.  For us, I think that’s kind of where Sherlock is starting to head.  We may not ever see that adventure, as that’s not what Sherlock’s story was about.  But, finding how to love, that was his story, and Molly Hooper is an irreplaceable part of that.  No one can deny that, not ever.