the test that stumped them all

anonymous asked:

1d as gym teachers

I have to thank @harry-es for this one because I was stumped for a long timejhfdsj

Niall: makes people run laps & run up and down the bleachers while yelling out half-hearted encouragements; eats a chocolate bar the entire time and when students ask for some, he says “what do you think this is? lunch?”; blasts country music from the speakers

Liam: everyones least favorite coach because he actually makes them work hard; always wearing gym shorts; runs laps with the students and always ends up passing all of them; makes them do the FitnessGram Pacer Test at the end of every semester 

Harry: has a yoga warm-up session everyday before they get to the activities; wears legwarmers; plays Fleetwood Mac and The Rolling Stones through the speakers one day and Panic! At The Disco and Katy Perry the next; doing pirouettes at any given time; easily distracted by Coach Tomlinson

Louis: everyones favorite gym because he doesn’t actually make you do anything; sits back in his chair and chats with students; plays the Popular Songs; cheers students on when they go behind the bleachers to make out but strictly says theyve crossed the line when he sees them with cigaretts; melts when he sees puppies or babies; pulls pranks on Coach Payno; would much rather be watching Coach Styles do his yoga warm-up

TAROT TIPS for Beginners

There’s a lot of tip posts out there but I thought I’d just post a few of my own. These work if you’re just getting started or just thinking about getting started.

Finding the deck for you

  • IT IS NOT BAD LUCK TO BUY YOUR OWN DECK! Please, it’s alright, and it doesn’t have to be new either. Take your time, shop online and/or offline at local book stores or metaphysical shops, find the deck that really calls to you and buy it. DO NOT steal a deck. I shouldn’t have to tell you that it’s immoral (especially when it comes to taking from shops that are probably struggling to stay afloat) but it’s also illegal. If you still feel weary of buying your own deck, have a supportive friend or family member buy it for you. 
  • Shop around for your deck, there are lots of places to look. I could provide you links but honestly, google is your friend.
  • Don’t feel pressured to get a standard Rider-Waite over a stylized one. Get whatever speaks to you. Tarot is very visual, and so if the visuals on the cards don’t speak to you, you’ll have a harder time reading the cards. A standard RW deck will fit more book definitions and imagery, but by no means is it the deck you *have* to start off with.

So you have a deck, now what?

First thing you’re going to want to do is charge and cleanse your deck. What do I mean by charge? To charge is to attune the deck to your personal energy. You can do this many different ways:

  • Leave the deck under your bed/pillow for a few nights (I have never done this, sounds uncomfortable, but w/e floats your boat.)
  • Leave it on your altar with some personal items/crystals/trinkets for a night or two.
  • Wrap it in a cloth or place it in a bag or box of your choosing, maybe add some personal items or touches and leave it there for a little while, maybe carry it in your purse or bag, whatever feels right.

Once it’s charged/attune you’ll be ready to give it some good shuffles and start reading. If you bought it used or you think it might have been handled a lot before you got it, you’ll want to cleanse it. Cleansing is great before you charge it to get rid of any lingering energies or in-between readings to keep it fresh. You can do this a few different ways:

  • For a light cleanse pass the cards through some incense smoke. Lot of people ask, which kind of incense? And honestly, I’m sure there are people that will tell you a certain one is better than another, but I just use whatever I feel like using. 
  • For a medium cleanse use the incense and then leave the deck out (on your altar or dresser for example) with some quarts crystal on top of it. Quarts is great for absorbing negative energies. 
  • For a heavy duty cleanse (and keep in mind, I’ve only had to do this once), use the incense, then place the deck on a plate or flat surface with the quartz on top. Then put a salt circle around the deck (around the edges of the plate, try not to get too much on your cards since salt may damage them.) How long you leave it there is up to you. You might want to give it another pass through incense afterwords and re-attune it to your energy again.

All charged and ready to go, what now?

START READING. Shuffle cut and deal, my witches. It’s as simple as that. If you want to read the booklet that came with your deck (most do, but not all) then go for it. (If it didn’t include a booklet, you can easily find the information online for free.) You might find some test spreads in that book. By all means, try them out! But don’t feel trapped by using spreads–free styling is good too!

  • Read for yourself and anyone that will let you. Do a morning reading to see what your day will be like, or ask any question you feel like. Do readings for your friends and family! Practice practice practice!
  • Don’t be afraid of getting it “wrong”! Even people (like me) who have been reading Tarot for years get stumped on the meanings of the cards sometimes or misread the message they were trying to send. It’s okay!
  • Follow your gut. Your intuition is what will help you read the cards way better than just memorizing the meanings you found in a book or online. It takes time to trust that gut feeling though, so don’t be hard on yourself if you struggle in the beginning. 
  • Record your readings! Be sure to include what you asked, what deck you used, what the book says it meant, and what you think it means. It’s great to go back (sometime later) and see how you were right or if the cards meant something else.
  • Take it one card at a time. Tarot has a lot of cards, each card is full of dozens of meanings and interpretation. It’s daunting at first, so start slow, one card at a time. You could pull a card daily to study, or just go in order. While you study traditional/book meanings, make sure to leave room in your notes for your own thoughts and feelings about each card. There is no right or wrong way to read a card.
  • Having trouble narrowing down the meaning of the card? I see a lot of beginners struggle with this part, and I don’t blame them. There are a few things that will help you narrow it down. First is what was the context of your question? How can it apply to the situation you were inquiring about can help narrow it down. Taking into consideration the cards around it may also help (assuming you pulled more. If you didn’t, some people pull a  clarifying card, which is another card to help narrow down the answer.) If all that still has you stumped, write it down and come back to it later, it may come to you.
  • Patience is a virtue. Time is your friend in tarot, especially when it comes to growing, understanding, and learning. There will come a time when you need to step away from Tarot, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to understand it, and know that as soon as you think you’ve “got it figured out”, the cards will always come back to surprise you.

I hope these tips helped. Like I said, there are a lot of great tip posts out there that go into more detail. A search through the #tarot tag should help! Best wishes! <3 

a tip for test takers and mistake makers everywhere

(later on i’ll put together a comprehensive list of test taking techniques that i personally use. think of this as a preview :3)

1. when it comes to complicated cycles and processes with many steps, i find that drawing a simplified chart of that process over and over again (thus memorizing it) can really help, because then the moment you get that test, you can go on the back of it and brain dump that chart (and any other important info like formulas or key concepts) for later use during the test.
this helps to free up your mind to focus on problem solving and eliminates the risk of you forgetting anything important.

2. the time constraints of the testing can really be a constricting, but do not let that limit you. personally, i don’t skim every question, at least not at the very beginning. i read the directions for the problems and then try to complete them as quickly and as accurately as possible. if i find myself becoming stuck on one problem, i circle it and then just keep moving on.
i don’t know why, but after completing the first page, that’s when i just look over the other problems for the rest of the test. by doing that, i can see which ones are going to be really really challenging, and if i see one, i can start working on it immediately (because i know it will take up the most time and brain power.) i do this after the first page as opposed the very beginning of the test because then i don’t waste too much time on any one problem–i already have a page’s worth of completed problems.

after i complete all the problems, i go back to the circled ones and complete them/ask the prof.

3. i use ALL (all) of the time given to me. i NEVER hand in tests early with time to spare. i check and re-check and check again. i really scan for mistakes and any errors. i re-read/re-formulate open response questions and re-do complicated math. even if you don’t think you need the extra time, use it for something that has to do with the test. you can also use this time to clarify with the teacher any question that has you stumped. it’ll never hurt, guaranteed.

anyways, i hope you’ve found these tips helpful.

GOOD LUCK WITH MIDTERMS!! (but you don’t need luck–you got this)

Okay i just spent a 30 minute bath thinking about Muggleborn wizards and differences in UK/US wizarding schools so get ready for a long post y’all


I’d imagine American wizarding schools have a different setup than UK ones, like. They’d DEFINITELY shove american history down the students’ throats, and have more of a dress code than a uniform. Plus they probably wouldn’t stick a bunch of 11 year old kids in the same school as 17 year old wizarding adults (K-8 schools are bad enough as it is)
So they’d probably have separate schools/campuses for 11-14 year olds and 15-17 year olds because maturity differences. I’d imagine there’d also be AP programs for almost all the classes, because NOT EVERY 15 YEAR OLD HAS THE SAME LEARNING SKILLS YOU FUCKS

Imagine some American witch/wizard decides to do a study abroad during one of their final years, so they transfer over to Hogwarts and find out they have uniforms?? The fuck is this shit??? Why are the girls all wearing skirts???? Why are there 11 year old girls on campus wearing skirts????? Why are there 11 year olds at all???????????????? This is weird and they can’t tell if the skirts are mandatory, because all the girls wear them but nobody seems to be against them wearing pants so?

When they get their class schedule in the mail, they’re like “Why am I just in ‘Potions 6′? Is that advanced or something?? Is it the sixth level of Potions??? I was in AP Potions last year, what does it mean” and then they get to school to find that they’ve already taken this level class, but they definitely haven’t learned this shit in Transfiguration, and didn’t the school get their class records? Why didn’t they put them in the right level Transfiguration???

And then Professor Binns tries to tell the class that the Great Depression was caused by the near extinction of some magic animal, and this student gets in a 40 minute argument because no, haven’t you even heard of the stock market crash of the late 1920s, that was literally the main cause you buffoon, I spent a month learning about it okay we have stock regulations for a fucking reason

Meanwhile some Hogwarts student decides to try an American school, and when their letters of required supplies don’t have any uniforms on them they’re stumped. What do they wear?? Do they just wear whatever they want???? They pack their old uniforms just in case, only to show up and everyone’s wearing the latest in both Muggle and wizarding fashion, with long cloaks and shorts and crop tops and leggings and pointy hats all clashing together while looking like the epitome of fashion.

They’re told to show up a day or two early to take placement tests. Placement tests? they wonder, For what house I’ll be in??? Dont I just do that on my first day with all the first years?????? But no, they’re tested on their knowledge of literally everything. “Why can’t I just take classes with all the other sixth years?” they ask. “Because we don’t want you in a class that’s too high or too low level for you??? Duh?????”

They have a History of the United States class. Who the fuck is Aaron Burr? What do you mean the Great Depression was caused by the stock markets, it was caused by the near extinction of the Jubilee Bird?? Why do you all have the Pledge of Alliegence memorized??? Why is there an American flag in every single classroom?????? What is happening 

Feel free to add more or send in asks about this okay i am on a Roll here

anonymous asked:

prompt: fitzsimmons get drunk after the framework

Alright, here is the first of the prompts filled for the second anniversary of my blog, which I will be posting each day this week to celebrate. Feel free to prompt me, I still need a couple more!

And, full disclosure: I’ve never been drunk before (I actually refuse to touch alcohol as a personal choice), nor have I been around anyone who was, so this is all based on what I’ve seen in movies/tv shows/books/etc, and hopefully it’s believable enough. 

Thank you anon for the prompt, and I hope you all enjoy!

-

It used to be something of a tradition between them; after a hard day in the lab, if their latest project had failed in the testing phase, if they found themselves stumped on how to solve a problem, or if the day had just seemed to drag on, they’d break out the alcohol and shut their brains off for a little while. Usually, by the time they returned to the lab (late) the next morning, they’d have the solution they needed or a fresh take on a project that would lead to the inevitable breakthrough.

But, it had been more than a hard day, it had been a hard few weeks, and Jemma wasn’t sure that alcohol could fix this, but she was terrified of the idea that nothing could fix this and she steadfastly refused to allow this to be the thing that broke them, not after everything else they’d been through.

With that in mind and no other ideas to speak of, Jemma stocked up on bottles of something strong and texted Fitz to meet her in their still-empty apartment, told him that there was something of great urgency they needed to discuss. She received no reply, but she knew Fitz (even still, even after he was convinced he was someone else, even after he thought he no longer knew himself) and she knew he’d show up regardless, just because she’d asked.

Sure enough, not twenty minutes later, the front door opened slowly and Fitz stuck his head in, looking unsure. “Hey,” he greeted quietly. “What did you…” He seemed to notice then that Jemma was sitting cross-legged on the hardwood floor, surrounded by bottles of alcohol.

Keep reading

Listen.

I didn’t have a ton of friends growing up that I’d actually have sleepovers with. I was antisocial like that. When I did go to parties or sleepovers, we most often had take-out pizza. The one family I used to sleep over with made tons of international foods because they were extremely well traveled. I’m talking traditional Thai food, or Vietnamese food. Or we had breakfast foods like pancakes or blueberry muffins.

So I never actually knew about the whole ‘white people don’t season food’ thing.

My father learned to cook solely from cuisine books and Latino neighbors because his own father learned to cook from the military, and his mother was… not the best at cooking (she once made a cake that both my father and granddad thought was cornbread. they ate it with butter and didn’t know the difference til she yelled at them for snatching the cake).

Now, my mother’s mother grew up in the Great Depression, so her idea of spicing was salt if you could get it. My mom had enough Black friends, however, that she knew her mom’s cooking was bland. So in college (in south central Louisiana) she learned to cook from her Cajun roommate and her Black roommate. That’s what I grew up with. Spicy home-made fried chicken, gumbo and jambalaya, cheesy grits/spicy sausage casserole, Cajun turkey for Thanksgiving… If I was over at my grandma’s, she usually made us sandwiches because they were easy.

I went my whole childhood and teenage years never knowing about the white people stereotype because I had miraculously escaped it. So that’s how I learned to cook, too.

Then I got to college, and I was the only one in my apartment (besides the friend from that one family I mentioned) that cooked for the others. Except for our Japanese and Chinese roomies. The other two white people in the apartment ate at the cafeteria, or made food only for themselves. No biggie, I love to cook for other people and for myself, so the only potluck style meals we ever ate were combos of my cooking and the Japanese and Chinese girls.

I then went to India.

Then I came back and roomed, again, with that one white friend who knew how to cook real food. We shared groceries and cooked for/with each other.

Then my sister came to live with me, and we cooked like back home.

So not only was my whole childhood well-seasoned and sheltered from the blandness, I then made it through 3.5 years of college without ever encountering bland white people food. I had no idea what people talked about when they said white people didn’t know how to spice or cook food, because all I’d ever known was the few white people who did know how to cook. And I cooked well-spiced food, too. I might have lived my whole life never knowing the truth behind the stereotype.

But then.

I roomed with some freshmen. All white girls from the midwest.

Now, I don’t deny the fact that some white people know how to spice, season, and flavor food. I am living proof, as is my family.

But guys. Good grief.

At first I was the only one who cooked, because, y’know, freshmen. They’d never been on their own, so their diets consisted of ramen and cheese. As the semester went on, they started branching out more. Then one day I decided to cook a big dinner for them. Biscuits and gravy, home-made chicken strips, fried tomatoes, creamed garlic potatoes, and horchata to drink. (All of it was gluten free, too, because two of the 6 of us had wheat/gluten issues.) They…. Thought it was too spicy? I thought I’d stumped my toe on the pepper in the gravy, so I taste tested again. Nope. Normal amount. My big sis is autistic and hates spicy things due to the sensory issue of it, and this is the level of spice and pepper I did for her. Enough black pepper to taste it and have it bring out the salt and sage, enough chili powder to accent the rosemary, a dash of white pepper which is just smoky and not spicy at all… They were guzzling water (they didn’t like the horchata) through the whole meal. I was so confused.

So the next time we decided to have an apartment meal, we all made something. I knew I was in trouble when one girl was watching me make porkchops and apples. “What’s that?” She was pointing to the sage. Like…. What? I live on sage, it’s one of my go-to, bare-minimum spices. She didn’t recognize basil, either.

Y’all, I love cooking. I love food, and I love spice. Like, flavor (though the burning kind is good, too.) You don’t understand just how much it hurt to eat 5 dishes spiced with nothing more than salt and a dash of pepper. One even went over the top and added onion powder.

No, seriously, y’all don’t get how much love food, and how much of a palate I have for flavors. I play a game with my dad where one of us cooks a meal without the other looking, and then the one who didn’t cook tastes it to guess all the spices and flavors in it. I am unbeaten in that game, btw, except for the time he used anise and I couldn’t taste anything behind it (I cannot stand anise, it makes me gag; this is when we found that out). That apartment meal tasted like betrayal. I have never tasted anything like it. And I don’t mean that as a raving compliment.

I take back all the times I refuted the “white people don’t season their food” thing.

(note: this is not to offend, insult, or disparage people who enjoy lightly seasoned food. it just shocked me, and it’s so interesting how it appears to be a racial/cultural thing. If you find stuff too spicy, that’s ok, I don’t think you’re less of a person for it, I don’t mean to upset you. I just…. I can’t do it, I’m sorry.)

Writing Effective Starters: An Essay.

Ever been stuck on how to get two characters to meet? Ever wonder why your starter is liked and forgotten? Ever seen someone else’s interesting starters and thought, man, I wish I could do that?

Here, we’ll teach you how to write a starter in four easy steps.

STEP #1: Engage the Other Character

The first thing you want to do when you want to write a starter is think about the characters in a social environment. Where are they? What are they doing? And most importantly, how is the other person’s character going to get pulled in?

You have to consider the actual contact between characters.Here’s an example of what not to do. My character walked into yours on the sidewalk. If you give me that on my roleplay blog, I will not answer it. No exceptions.

Why? Think about the last time someone bumped into you–in the hallway, in the mall, wherever you were. Did you stop and say ‘hello, my name is [y/n] and I think we should do [activity] and be friends?’ NO. The person probably mumbled a 'sorry,’ you probably mumbled ’s'okay,’ and you both went off to do whatever.

That is an ineffective starter because, plain and simple, you didn’t pull the character in. You can go ahead and spend as many paragraphs as your heart desires describing the business of the city, what your character’s wearing, the weather, the atmosphere, whatever, but listen up: if you do not actively engage the other character, your starter is ineffective.

So what do you do? There are tons of options. Have your character speak directly to the other character. Have your character do something where someone else is able to jump in. The other writer is trying to put their character with yours, and they’ll work with you on this, just don’t leave everything up to them.

Going back to our example, instead of having someone walk into another character, have them stand in line and compliment the other person’s [insert literally anything here]. They can just make a comment about how long the line is taking. Now the character is engaged.

And other note, I’ve seen starters where one character is talking to a third-party archetype and the expectation is that my character will swoops in like a hawk and steal your character away from whoever they’re talking to. This is–don’t. Don’t ever. No. Bad. Shame on you.

Here’s a quick check-list to make sure your starter will work:

  • is my character directly contacting the other character?
  • is my character doing something that the other character can appropriately respond to?
  • have I made it possible for someone to reply to my starter?

STEP #2. Check Your Writing.

This is a good tip for roleplaying in general, obviously, but it’s even more important for starters, especially if it’s an open, or the first time you’re making a starter for someone. I’ve seen a lot of starters from quality blogs that don’t even make sense because the writing is so inflated. Whether you’re trying to look good, do more than your ability, or think you need to try extra-hard, don’t. Just keep your starters natural. Don’t use words you don’t know. Don’t use compound sentences if you’re not familiar with the sentence structure. Don’t use crack grammar styles because you think it might be right. Stick to what you know, read over it before you hit post, and stay in control of your writing. It’s better to have a beautiful one-line starter than a long para that confuses other writers.

Re-read your starter before you post it and ask yourself these questions:

  • is my grammar correct?
  • are my words spelled correctly?
  • are there any typos?
  • are the actions clear?
  • does I have any vague sections?
  • will others be able to understand what I wrote?

STEP #3. Have an idea for your thread before you make your starter.

There’s nothing more frustrating than seeing a really generic starter with a writer I want to work with, replying, and then not being able to find a suitable plot and floundering into nothingness. There should be a “something happens” section in a thread. In creative writing, this is called “The Trouble.” The sooner you get your character into trouble, the better.

In a nutshell, you should have an idea for your starter planned beforehand. I’ll use an example from my roleplay blog. One of my characters is a librarian. So if my threads are lacking and I want to use her, I might go and make a starter that’s something like,

Eliza sat behind at her desk, trying to focus on a book instead of [insert stressor here]. When someone walked in, she smiled, even though she wished they weren’t there. “Hi, can I help you?” She hoped they said yes, since she currently had a bottle of alcohol hidden on almost every shelf and it’d be really awkward if someone were to find them.

This isn’t the best starter, but it comes with a plot. In fact, it comes with multiple plots. When someone answers this, their character can a) notice my character is really harried and start asking after her, b) think she’s being a jerk and give her attitude, c) answer her question with a 'yes’ and continue to observe how frazzled the librarian is until something happens, or d) answer with 'no,’ find a hidden bottle of alcohol, and watch the plot turn into a kaleidoscope of options that the writer can choose from.

Now, let’s say you want to write a one-line starter. This is a more nuanced thing. It’s easy to write “Hey, want to hang out?,” stick a .gif and a #open+rp under it, and wait for replies. I do it all the time. This starter is fine: the grammar/spelling is correct, it engages the other character, it’s good, right?

The problem comes in with the next few exchanges. When someone replies with “sure,” an a .gif, and you’ve kinda just typed up your starter without thinking about it cuz your threads are dead, whatever whatever, you run the risk of either sitting there like 'uhhh’ or having a dud thread that leads to your character and the other character standing in an undefined white room like 'what do you wanna do’ 'idk what do you wanna do’ until someone just drops it.

So don’t do that.

And some of you will say that you’re just letting the other person use their ideas. To this I say, no. No, no, NO, no no. You can’t just post your generic open hoping that someone else will have an idea. If the other person had an idea, they’d make their own starter.

This ties in with the example I used earlier: don’t have your character walk into someone else’s and expect the other writer to just pull some plot out of their derriere that smells like rainbows and perfection. It doesn’t work that way. You come up with something. You’re the one making the starter. That little thing that says 'source’ next your blog name means it was you. Own it.

If you want to post a one-line starter that says 'hey, wanna hang out?,’ you should have an idea of what your character’s going to do. Whether that’s going to smoke a blunt, getting coffee, or taking a free class in underwater basket-weaving at the local oyster club is up to you.

Ask yourself these questions to avoid these pitfalls:

  • where is this thread going?
  • does my character have a clear idea of what’s going on?
  • is there a plot here?
  • am I trying to dump the plot work onto whomever replies?

STEP #4: Have an accessible setting.

If you want to get replies to your open, don’t give someone a setting that their character wouldn’t be in. I cannot count how many times I’ve seen really, really good starters that I can’t reply to because of the setting. It’s nice to make a post like 'omg why are you in my house,’ but, shocker, most people don’t just walk into other people’s houses’. Another big one I see all the time is when writers say something like 'no one’s around.’ If no one’s there, no one’s there.

Now obviously, accessible starters are on a case-by-case basis. Maybe a stranger wouldn’t be in someone’s house, but their significant other would be. Setting is something to play with and enjoy, but you should still keep it in mind. Don’t force other writers to finagle around with their characters to put them in some bizarre place just so they can answer your starter. Put your character somewhere other people will be–instead of in the middle of a forest where no one is, put them just outside of a campsite. Instead of writing 'no one’s around,’ talk about how your character assumed no one was going to be there. Don’t stick your character in random places just for the hell of it and pray to the roleplay gods that someone will bend over backwards to make it work.

By the same token, I see a lot of starters without an established setting. Don’t do that, either. It’s OK not to have everything hammered down in the original starter, but have some idea of where your character is. Your character doesn’t exist in a little white room. Put them somewhere, and put them somewhere that makes sense.

If you need to test your starter’s setting, ask yourself these questions:

  • would other characters be here?
  • have I cut off other characters?
  • do I have an actual setting?
  • if no, do I have an implied setting?

So there are your four steps. Engage the other character, have proper grammar/spelling, have a plot idea in mind, and take care of the setting.

Final Remarks. 

Make it easy for other writers to answer your starter. Don’t stump them or expect them to pick up all the work. It’s great if you write a half-page starter with beautiful extended metaphors and 5 Shakespeare references, but it’s all a waste if your character’s on the moon, the reader’s lost in your hyperbole, you didn’t use quotes, and your character’s busy talking to the Queen of England.

Before you click post, ask yourself these questions:

  • does this make sense?
  • if someone sent this to me, could I answer this?
  • if someone sent this to me, would I want to answer this?
  • does this look promising?
  • am I praying to the roleplay gods that someone replies to this instead of doing some basic footwork to get replies?

And that’s all from me, folks!

Connor imagine - he has a bad day

Requested on wattpad

Connor walks through the front door of your shared apartment with tired eyes and slouched shoulders. You look over at him, your smile disappearing when you see his state. “Con?” you ask, standing from the couch. You put your book down and go to him. “What’s wrong?”

He shrugs and takes his shoes off. You notice his eyes are slightly pink and he’s blinking rapidly, making it look as though he’s holding back tears.

“Bad day?” You frown and extend your hand to him, rubbing his arm gently.

Connor nods silently as he shrugs his jacket off and hangs it up in the closet. His lips are pursed together and his jaw is shaking, as if he’s trying not to cry.

“Con,” you coo softly. “Baby, let’s go to the bedroom and lie down, yeah?”

He nods again and lets you take his hand and pull him to the bedroom. He shuffles to the bed silently and sits on the edge. You take a seat next to him and hug him from the side. “What happened?”

Connor shrugs slightly. “We were trying to write new songs, and I had absolutely no ideas at all. I felt useless. Everyone else had great ideas and were all testing out some chords and lyrics, and I was just sitting there not doing anything. And near the end, I had a small idea for some opening chords, but Joe shot me down and said Brad’s idea was better.” His voice shakes as he speaks, causing your heart to break.

“Oh, baby.” You frown and open your arms to him. He gratefully goes into them, burying his face into your neck. “It’s okay, Con. Everyone has bad days. So you didn’t have many ideas today, that doesn’t mean anything! All artists get stumped every now and then. You’re still the best singer, bass player, and songwriter I know.”

You feel Connor smile slightly against your neck. “You really think that?”

With a nod you say, “Of course! You’re so talented, Con. I wish they’d give you more solos because you have the voice of an angel and more people need to hear it. I feel so spoiled whenever you sing to me – it doesn’t seem fair to the rest of the world.”

Connor sniffs softly. “I don’t know. Brad’s a better singer than me.”

“No he’s not,” you protest. “Not to me. And you shouldn’t compare yourself to him. You’re both really talented, and you’re both amazing at what you do.”

He hugs you tighter. “I guess.”

You shake your head. “No. Not ‘I guess.’ You have to say it. You have to say that you’re awesome and talented.”

Connor shrugs and nuzzles his face deeper in your neck, mumbling, “I don’t want to.”

“What was that? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. But it didn’t sound like, ‘I’m Connor Ball and I’m awesome at what I do. I’m awesome at singing and playing bass and writing songs. Also, I’m a pretty awesome boyfriend. Y/N is my girl and I’m very good at making her happy.’” You pause to smile before continuing. “‘She loves me a lot, even though sometimes I get sad. But when I’m not sad, I do a very good job at pleasing her. Emotionally and sexually.’”

Connor laughs against the skin of your neck and you giggle, feeling him pull him pull back. You smile seeing him laughing.

“That wasn’t very accurate,” he says softly.

“Oh?” You move your hands down his chest and to his hips. “How come?”

Connor bites his lip and pushes you back, making you lie down on the bed. “Because I don’t do a pretty good job at pleasing you. I do an excellent job.”

How did Fred and George hire Verity??

- Like, this chick had to have been older and super chill at all times. 
- Like, the shop could be in chaos and she’s just like no expression, in the middle of the fray, just like “Will that be all today, sir?”
- Can you imagine her interview??

F: So, your resume looks great.
G: And your knowledge with our products is impressive.
F: But we have one other test for you.
V: What?
G: Can you tell us apart?
They think they stump her, but she just stares at them for a second…
V: You’re Mr. Weasley. And you’re Mr. Weasley.
The twins are like “Fuck, she got us.”
F and G: You’re hired.

3

A few updates on the Spoon Meter necklaces for anyone interested (I wish Tumblr would just let me edit the original post across the board for everyone):

Magnetic charm necklaces, unfortunately, are not possible. This week, after reading comments and tags, I purchased some for testing as an alternative to lobster clasps. Instead of dangling like they should though, the magnets all clump together in a ball of anger and frustration. I was really hopeful this could be a solution and I’m sorry I couldn’t get this option to work out. I’ve tried to address the issue as best as I know how on my own, but I’m just completely stumped and floundering. If anyone has suggestions on what would work for them or their friends instead of lobster clasps, please contact me. I haven’t heard from anyone so far.

• Charms can now be purchased individually here.

• I’ve had a few people ask if these will remain in my store. As long as they are helping someone out there and people are interested in them, I will look into the possibility of carrying them in my shop going forward.

• Custom Orders are available right now (as long as I have the pieces and ability to make the item). Please email me at kate [at] ignitethesky.com for inquiries though, versus messaging me here. In order to determine if your custom creation can be made, please include as much information as possible in your email: length of the chain, number of charms, etc.

Things I want in comics and/or comic movies

Spider-Man with a New York accent.  (Any New York-based hero, really, but I like Spider-Man best.) Here’s the thing though: People in academia or intellectual professions tend to speak more precisely with formal English, so Peter Parker’s accent might be more faded or under control. But Spider-Man? He talks like a stereotypical New York cabbie. He didn’t at first, he had a slightly softer Queens accent, but spending time bouncing around the city, especially the tougher parts, gave him a broader range, and now when he opens his mouth pure New York comes out. It’s very disconcerting to other heroes when he starts talking about science or technical things because his voice completely changes (possibly along with his posture and body language, particularly hand gestures.) (I’m a big fan of long-term heroes unintentionally establishing different personalities from their civilian selves.)

Modern Riddler being a pop-culture junkie. I know comics take place in a timeless world which is always somehow current to us no matter when the story arc started, and that including pop culture references inevitably dates the comic to its ultimate detriment, but hush. Imagine with me, for a moment, a Riddler that grew up in the 90s. Increasingly frustrated and thwarted by the advent of the internet and search engines rendering his clever riddles easy-to-solve, he throws himself into both the cutting-edge and the obscure. Basically becomes the ultimate fanboy of modern media, things too new to have been analyzed and cataloged to death. He might understand he’s crazy or he might love the insanely complex, but either way he’s driven to create something to difficult for anyone to ever solve, ever with the obsessive attention to detail he sees in both Batman and the fanbase. Because this IS modern Riddler, and like us he grew up on television, and shares our embrace of nostalgia. The fanbases are, in their own ways, his benchmark. If he can stump xXxNarutoLuvrxXx and MayTheForthBeWithYou in obscure, trivial details, then Batman will NEVER be able to decipher this one! The end result is everyone in the Bat Family has to marathon all tv shows, listen to all the latest music, and troll all the popular websites. And woe upon them if they turn to google for help! For Riddler has mastered the art of the red herring and puts his own puzzles through a rigorous search engine testing before deeming them ready.

Daredevil not realizing his costume’s fading. Pretty much what it says on the tin. I have no idea how he tells colors apart than maybe smelling the dyes used, but if it’s sturdy and functional then I can’t see him caring much about the exact shade used. Frequent washings for sweat and bloodstains leave patchy bits in the color, especially the gloves. If you saw him up close in good lighting you might be tempted to comment in the brownish or pinkish hues of certain places, but since he does most of his work in dark alleys and the only people close wind up unconscious, nobody tells him.

Spider-Man being poor. Wait, this is canon. And I love it. Let’s kick it up a notch.

Keep reading

Submitted to MasterChef by sayattheexplorer

My desire to highlight all the ingredients was really stumped by the mystery box at first. I had extremely pungent  ingredients such as balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, blue cheese, mustard, and Kosher dill pickles. Bringing these flavors out to the same plate and have them not fight each other is no easy task. Drunk Quebecois food and a refreshing Thai salad to balance the weight of the blue cheese gravy made so much sense! I went all out and got intoxicated to test the recipes!

Larb with an international profile

Instead of the traditional fermented fish and lime elements, I used soy sauce, mustard, pickles, and balsamic vinegar. Rice, beef, nuts and the overall flavor profile remain true to the traditional dish that is both Laotian and Northern Thai. Bright and deep in umami, satisfying and flavorful! 

Poutine with blue cheese

Poutine is a specialty of Quebec, typically served as fries with cheese curds and brown gravy. I used blue cheese curds, soy sauce, and beef broth to make mine. It was not surprisingly phenomenal when sober and divine when intoxicated. 

Go to my blog for the detailed instructions to execute this great plate — bon appetit, have fun and stay tuned for the next challenge!