the terry

“I’m not frightened of you,” [Rincewind] said. “Why should I be frightened of you?”
“Well,” said the kangaroo, “I could kick your stomach out through your neck.”
“Ah. You can talk?”
“You’re a quick one,” said the kangaroo. It rubbed an ear again.
“Something wrong?” said Rincewind.
“No, that’s the kangaroo language. I’m trying it out.”
“What, one scratch for ‘yes,’ one for ‘no’? That sort of thing?”
The kangaroo scratched an ear, and then remembered itself. “Yep,” it said. It wrinkled its nose.
“And that wrinkling?” said Rincewind.
“Oh, that means ‘Come quick, someone’s fallen down a deep hole,’“ said the kangaroo.
“That one gets used a lot?”
“You’d be amazed.”
“And… what’s kangaroo for ‘You are needed for a quest of the utmost importance’?” said Rincewind, with guileful innocence.
“You know, it’s funny you should ask that–”
The sandals barely moved. Rincewind rose from them like a man leaving the starting blocks, and when he landed his feet were already making running movements in the air.
After a while the kangaroo came alongside and accompanied him in a series of easy bounds.
“Why are you running away without even listening to what I have to say?”
“I’ve had long experience of being me,” panted Rincewind. “I know what’s going to happen. I’m going to be dragged into things that shouldn’t concern me. And you’re just a hallucination caused by rich food on an empty stomach, so don’t you try to stop me!”
Stop you?” said the kangaroo. “When you’re heading in the right direction?”
Rincewind tried to slow down, but his method of running was very efficiently based on the idea that stopping was the last thing he’d do. Legs still moving, he ran out over the empty air and plunged into the void.
The kangaroo looked down and, with a certain amount of satisfaction, wrinkled its nose.

– the quest finds Rincewind | Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What’s up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don’t think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who’s been pinching my beer?
—  Terry Pratchett - The Truth

“Oh, dear,” said Ponder again.
“What’s up with you?” said the Dean.
“There’s only one,” said Ponder. “That’s what he was trying to tell us.”
“One what?” said Ridcully.
“Of everything, sir. There’s only one of everything.”
It was, he thought later, a good dramatic line. People ought to have looked at one another in growing and horrified realization and said things like, “By George, you know, he’s right!” But these were wizards, capable of thinking very big thoughts in very small chunks.

– a dramatic line wasted | Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

anonymous asked:

I LITERALLY just sat in class at uni and we were reading a text on Casanova, and it hit me... CasanOVER the human and CasanUNDER the dwarf. I never realised the Casanunda pun before now, my bewonderment at The Creators genius will never cease (sorry for the weird ask, I just needed to share this because. I am. Wow.)

That’s a great catch! Yes, Sir Terry’s Punes never fail to delight, it is indeed possible that every single name he has ever given to a character or a place is a Pune. To just name one, the fool who teaches Advanced Punning at the Fool’s Guild School is Brother Frere.

Asks are always welcome here, it is nice to be seen at this place. Thank you!