the tender thrill

archiveofourown.org
The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) - ShirleyCarlton - Sherlock (TV) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 11/25
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Eurus, Sherrinford Holmes, Mary Morstan, Greg Lestrade, Mummy Holmes, Daddy Holmes, Harry Watson
Additional Tags: S4 fix-it fic, nothing was as it seemed, Unreliable Narrator, John’s alibi theory, Sherlock and John were in cahoots against Mary the whole time, Villain!Mary, TFP was John’s coma dream, John’s Mind Bungalow, Eurus is a liar, she’s not The Other One, there is an Other One though, sherrinford, Redbeard - Freeform, Redbeard was a dog after all, Misunderstandings, alternating povs, Friends to Lovers
Summary:

Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford.

After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

———-

THIS. 

I’ve just fallen back in love with BBC Sherlock. 

This, from a s4 fixit writer - see,  I was running away from the Bucket o Crazy the show writers provided.

 @shirleycarlton fearlessly dove headlong into that maelstrom, armed with metas and her own excellent craft, and metamorphosed the season into a logical, thrilling, tender johnlock masterpiece.

It’s like watching s4, except it’s wonderful and I’m not yelling.

I can picture the writing room - there must be walls covered with post-its and sheets of the script, string spider-webbing it all into a VERY satisfying and cohesive plot. 

More, please!!!
Six Sentence Someday

“Who said it was your voice?” Leia asked, reaching for a card.

Han tilted his head, wry and imploring, and closed his hand on Leia’s wrist. The circlet of his fingers was tight, tender, sending thrill arcing through her—indignation, lust. Leia shook off his grasp before he could sense her pulse.

He sat forward, shadowed and planed in the flame of the candle, his eyes hard copper.

“Luke: he your man?”

Indulge

As long as I live I will indulge in your skin
And the joy that under my lips it brings.
I will delight in the light
Found in the depths of your eyes;
Enraptured by the brilliance of your smile;
Eternally content to lie in your arms;
I will experience the euphoria of holding your hand.
Jubilation is your laughter in my heart.
At the sound of your voice, bliss is born,
And I will forevermore enjoy
The enchantment of your tender heart,
The thrill of your awesome mind,
The paradise of your loving arms,
The absolute ecstasy of knowing I am yours as you are mine.

-e.v.e.

It was windy,
And heaven struck the ground with hammers;
We left the windows open.
You kissed me to the slow fluttering of “Music for Airports,”
Held me tightly for a moment at a time, and then at arm’s length,
To meet my gaze with yours.
We touched and writhed and sighed in time to the gentlest of melodies.
How fragile, how tender, how thrilling:
To have your bottom lip between my teeth,
And whisper, as if I were the wind,
“I love you.”

Positive Words to start calling yourself:

{Add on more!!}

A

ABLE,   ACCEPT – ACCEPTANCE – ACCEPTABLE – ACCEPTED – ACCEPTING,   ACTION,   ACTIVATE,   ACTIVE,   ADD,   ADDITION,   ADMIRABLE,   ADORABLE,   ADVANTAGE,   AFFIRM,   AGELESS,   AGREE,   AGREEABLE,   AID,   AIM,   ABUNDANCE,   ACCOUNTABILITY,   ACCOMPLISHMENT – ACCOMPLISH,   ACCURACY,   ACHIEVEMENT – ACHIEVE,   ACKNOWLEDGEMENT,   ADAPTABILITY,   ADVENTURE – ADVENTUROUS,   AGILITY,   ALERTNESS,   AMBITION,   ANTICIPATION,    APPRECIATE – APPRECIATION – APPRECIATIVE,   ASSERTIVENESS – ASSERTIVE,   ATTENTIVENESS,   AUDACITY,   AWARE – AWARENESS,   AUTHENTIC – AUTHENTICITY,   ABRACADABRA,   ATTRACTION,   ALLOW – ALLOWING,   AFFECTION – AFFECTIONATE,   ABSORBED,   ALERT,   AMAZED,   AWED,   ANIMATED,   ARDENT,   AMAZING,   AWESOME,   AROUSED,   ASTONISHED,   AMUSED,   AIR,   ALOHA,   ADORE,    ADMIRE,   ADMIRABLE,   ALLURE,    ANGEL – ANGELIC,    ALTRUISM – ALTRUISTIC,   ABOUNDING,   ABSOLUTE, ACCESSIBLE,   ACCLAIMED,   ACCOMMODATE – ACCOMMODATED – ACCOMMODATION – ACCOMMODATING,    AMPLE,   APPRECIATIVE JOY,   AMIN

B

BEATIFY,   BEATITUDE,   BENEFICIAL,   BENEFIT,   BENEVOLENT,   BELOVED,   BEST,   BETTER,   BLESS – BLESSING,   BLISS – BLISSFULNESS – BLISSFUL,   BLOOM,   BLOSSOM,   BALANCE,   BEAUTY – BEAUTIFUL,   BELONG – BELONGING,   BOLDNESS,   BRAVERY,   BRILLIANCE,   BLISS ON TAP

C

CARE – CARING,   CALM,   CREATE,   CREATIVE,   CAPABLE,   CELEBRATE – CELEBRATION,   CERTAIN – CERTAINTY,   CHARITABLE – CHARITY,   CHARM – CHARMING – CHARMER,   CHOICE,   CLEAN – CLEANLINESS,   COMFORT – COMFORTABLE,   CALM,   CUDDLE – CUDDLING,   CANDOR,   CAREFULNESS,   CHALLENGE,   CHANGE,   CHEERFULNESS,   CLARITY,   COLLABORATION,   COMMITMENT,   COMMUNICATION,   COMMUNITY,   COMPASSION – COMPASSIONATE,   COMPETENT – COMPETENCE,   CONCENTRATION,   CONFIDENT – CONFIDENCE,   CONSCIOUSNESS,   CONSISTENCY,   CONTENT – CONTENTMENT,   CONTINUITY – CONTINUOUS,   CONTRIBUTION,   CONVICTION – CONVINCING,   COOPERATION,   COURAGE,   COURTESY,   CREATIVITY,   CURIOUS – CURIOSITY,   CHAKRA,   COOL,   CLEAR HEADED,   CENTERED,   CLOSENESS,   COMPANIONSHIP,   CONSIDERATE – CONSIDERATION,   COMMUNION,   CONNECT – CONNECTED – CONNECTION,   CONQUER,   CUTE,   CHARISMA – CHARISMATIC,   COLLECTED

D

DIRECTION,   DELICATE,   DECENT,   DESIRABLE,   DELICIOUS,   DO,   DREAM – DREAMY,   DYNAMIC,   DARING,   DECISIVENESS,   DELIGHT – DELIGHTED,   DEPENDABILITY,   DESIRE,   DETERMINATION,   DEVOTION,   DIGNITY,   DILIGENCE,   DISCIPLINE,   DISCOVERY,   DISCRETION,   DIVERSITY,   DRIVE,   DUTY,   DIVINE,   DAZZLED,   DISNEY,   DEVOTED, DANDY

E

EMPATHY – EMPATHIZE – EMPHATIC,   EASY – EASILY,   EDUCATE – EDUCATION – EDUCATED,   EFFICIENT,   ENABLE – ENABLED,   ENERGETIC – ENERGIZE – ENERGY,   ENGAGE – ENGAGING – ENGAGED,   ENJOY – ENJOYMENT,   ENOUGH,   EAGER – EAGERNESS,   EFFECTIVENESS,   EFFICIENCY,   ELATION,   ELEGANCE,   ENCOURAGE – ENCOURAGEMENT – ENCOURAGED,   ENDURANCE,   EQUALITY,   EXCELLENCE,   EXCITE – EXCITEMENT – EXCITED,   EXPERIENCE,   EXPERTISE,   EXPLORATION,   EXPRESSIVENESS – EXPRESSING,   ENLIGHTENMENT,   ETERNAL,   EXALTATION,   EMULATE,   EMPOWER – EMPOWERING – EMPOWERED,   EXPANSIVE,   EXHILARATING,   ENTHUSIASTIC – ENTHUSIASM,   ENGROSSED,   ENCHANTED,   ENTRANCED,   ECSTATIC,   ELATED,   ENTHRALLED,   EXUBERANT,   EXPECTANT,   EQUANIMOUS,   ENLIVENED,   REFRESH – REFRESHED,   EFFICACY,   EASE,   EXEMPLARY,   EXTRAORDINARY,   EARNEST,   ELEVATE – ELEVATED,   EQUANIMITY,   EASE-OF-MIND,   EXCITED ANTICIPATION

F

FANTASTIC,   FEEL GOOD – FEELING GOOD,   FLOW – FLOWING,   FABULOUS,   FAIR,   FAITH,   FAITHFUL,   FAME,   FAVORITE,   FAIRNESS,   FAMILY,   FIDELITY,   FLEXIBILITY,   FOCUS,   FLOURISH,   FORGIVE – FORGIVING – FORGIVENESS,   FORTITUDE,   FREE – FREEDOM,     FRUGALITY,   FUN,   FUTURE,   FRIEND – FRIENDLY – FRIENDSHIP – FRIENDLINESS,   FASCINATE – FASCINATED,   FULFILL – FULFILLED,   FOOD,   FEISTY – FEISTINESS,   FESTIVE,   FEASIBLE,   FINE,   FEARLESS,  FESTIVE – FESTIVENESS,   FIT

G

GLOW,  GENEROUS – GENEROSITY,   GENERATE,   GENIAL,   GENIUS,   GENUINE,   GIFT,   GIVE – GIVING,   GOOD,   GOODNESS,   GIVING,   GOING THE EXTRA MILE,   GRACE,   GRATITUDE,   GROW – GROWTH,   GUIDE – GUIDING – GUIDANCE,   GOD,   GROUNDED,   GLORY,   GODLINESS,   GOOD-FEELING,   GROOVY,   GIDDY,   GLAD,   GOOD HEALTH,   GLAMOR,   GIGGLING,   GODDESS,   GORGEOUS – GORGEOUSNESS,   GRANDIOSITY

H

HOPE – HOPEFULNESS,   HAPPINESS – HAPPY – HAPPILY,   HARMONIOUS – HARMONIZE – HARMONY,   HEALTH – HEALTHY,   HEART,   HELLO,   HELP – HELPFUL – HELPING,   HONEST – HONESTY,   HUMAN,   HUMOR,   HELPFULNESS,   HERO – HEROISM,   HOLY – HOLINESS,   HONESTY,   HONOR,   HOSPITALITY,   HUMBLE,  HEAVEN – HEAVENLY,   HALO,   HEARTFELT,   HEARTWARMING,   ONE-POINTEDNESS,   HAPPY HEARTED

I

IMAGINATION,   INSPIRATION – INSPIRED – INSPIRATIONAL,   IN-LOVE,   IDEA,   INCREDIBLE,   INNOVATE – INNOVATION,   INTERESTING – INTEREST – INTERESTED,   IMPROVEMENT,   INDEPENDENCE,   INFLUENCE,   INGENUITY,   INNER PEACE,   INSIGHT – INSIGHTFULNESS – INSIGHTFUL,   INTEGRITY,   INTELLIGENCE,   INTENSITY,   INTIMACY,   INTUITIVENESS,   INVENTIVENESS,   INVESTING,   INTENTION,   INVIGORATE – INVIGORATED,   INTRIGUED,   INVOLVE – INVOLVED,   INCLUSION,   INNOCENT,   INEFFABLE,   INTREPID

J

JOY – JOYFUL – JOYOUS,   JOKE,   JOLLY,   JOVIAL,   JUST,   JUSTICE,   JUBILANT,   JUVENESCENT,   JUMPY,   JAMMIN’

K

KINDNESS – KIND – KIND-HEART – KINDLY,   KEEP-UP,   KISS,   KNOWLEDGE,   KITTENS,  KEEN

L

LIKE,   LAUGH – LAUGHING,   LEARN – LEARNING,   LIFE,   LIVE – LIVING,   LUXURY,   LONGEVITY,   LOYALTY – LOYAL,   LOVE – LOVABLE – LOVING,   LEARNING,   LIBERTY,   LOGIC,   LEADER – LEADERSHIP,   LUCK – LUCKY,   LIGHT,   LOVING-KINDNESS,   LIVELY,    LIFE OF THE PARTY,   LOVELY,   LOVING ACCEPTANCE,   LOVING FEELINGS

M

MEANING – MEANINGFUL,   MORE,   MAGNIFICENT,   MAJESTY,   MANY,   MARVELOUS,   MERIT,   MOTIVATE,   MIRACLE,   MAGIC,   MAKING A DIFFERENCE,   MASTERY,   MATURITY,   MEANING, MERIT,   MINDFUL – MINDFULNESS,   MODESTY,   MOTIVATION – MOTIVATIONAL,   MERCY,   MEDITATION,   MIND-BLOWING,   MELLOW,   MOVED,   MOVEMENT,   MUTUALITY,   MOURNING

 N

NOBLE,   NURTURING – NURTURE,   NON-RESISTANCE,   NEW,   NICE,   NIRVANA,   NOBLE, NEAT,   NATURE-MADE,   NOURISH – NOURISHED – NOURISHING – NOURISHMENT,  NAMASTE

O

OPTIMIST – OPTIMISTIC,   OUTSTANDING,   OK,   ON,   ONWARDS,   OPEN – OPENLY – OPENING,   OPEN-MINDED,   OPPORTUNITY,   ORIGINAL,   OPENNESS,   OPPORTUNITY,   OPTIMISM,   ORDER,   ORGANIZATION,   ORIGINALITY,   OUTCOME,   ORIENTATION,   OBEDIENT,   OPEN HEARTED,   OMG,   OVERCOME,   OM MANI PADME HUM,   OUTGOING

P

PERFECT – PERFECTION,   POSITIVE ENERGY,   POSITIVE THOUGHTS,   POSITIVE EVENTS,   POSITIVE CIRCUMSTANCES,   POSITIVE BELIEFS,   PEACE – PACIFY,   PARADISE – PARADISIAC,   PASSION – PASSIONATE,   PLEASE,   PURE,   PASSION,   PEACE,   PERCEPTIVENESS,   PERSEVERANCE,   PERSISTENCE,   PERSONAL GROWTH,   PLEASURE,   POSITIVE ATTITUDE,   POSITIVE WORDS,   POWER,   PRACTICALITY,   PRECISION,   PREPAREDNESS,   PRESENCE,   PRESERVATION,   PRIVACY,   PROACTIVITY – PROACTIVE,   PROGRESS,   PROSPERITY,   PUNCTUALITY – PUNCTUAL,   PROSPERITY,   PATIENCE,   PROUD,   PLEASED,   PRESENCE,   PLAY,   PARTICIPATION,   PURPOSE,   PICK-ME-UP, PROSPEROUS,   PRONIA,   PIOUS,   PUPPIES,   POLITE,   POSITIVE MIND,   POSITIVE THINKING,    POSITIVE WORDS,   PRETTY,   PRECIOUS

Q

QUALITY,   QUIET,   QUAINT

R

RESPECT,   RADIANT,   READY,   REAL – REALITY,   REASON,   RECOMMEND,   REFRESH,   RELAX – RELAXED,   RELIEF,   RELIEVE – RELIEVED,   REMARKABLE,   RATIONALITY,   RECOGNITION,   RELATIONSHIPS,   RELIABLE – RELIABILITY,   RELIGION,   RESOURCEFULNESS,   RESPECT,   RESPONSIBILITY,   RIGHTEOUSNESS,   RISK-TAKING,   ROMANCE,   REVELATION,   REVIVED,   RESTORE – RESTORED,   REST – RESTED,   RENEW – RENEWED,   REJUVENATE – REJUVENATED,   RAPTURE – RAPTUROUS,   RESILIENT – RESILIENCE,   REVERENCE,    RIPE,   REBORN,   RELATEDNESS,   RASASVADA

S

SCOPE,   SMILE – SMILING,   SOULMATE,   SOUL – SOULFUL,   SACRED,   SAFE – SAFETY,   SECURE – SECURED – SECURITY,   SUSTAIN – SUSTAINED,   SAVE, SAVINGS,   SIMPLE – SIMPLIFY,    SELFLESSNESS,   SELF-ESTEEM,   SERVICE,   SIMPLICITY,   SINCERITY,   SKILL – SKILLED,   SPIRIT,   SERENE – SERENITY,   STABILITY,   STRENGTH,   STYLE,   SYSTEMATIZATION,   SELF-LOVE,   STRIVE,   SERVICE,   SALVATION,   SELF-RESPECT,   SELF-FORGIVENESS,   SERVE,   SYMPATHETIC,   SELF-COMPASSION,   SELF-KINDNESS,   SPELLBOUND,   STIMULATED,   SATISFIED,   STILL,   SURPRISED,   SLEEP,   SEXUAL EXPRESSION,   SHELTER,   SELF-EXPRESSION,   STIMULATION,   STABILITY,   SUPPORT,   SPACE – SPACIOUS, SPONTANEITY – SPONTANEOUS, SUNSHINE, SPARKLE – SPARKLES,   SWEET – SWEETNESS,    SUPPORT – SUPPORTING – SUPPORTED,   SEXY – SEXINESS,   SUPREME,   SUCCULENT,   SWEETHEART,   STUDY – STUDIOUS,   SELFLESSNESS,    SAVOUR – SAVOURING,   SUFFICIENT,   STUPENDUOS,   SWAG – SWAGGY,   SPLENDID,   SMART,   SPECTACULAR,   SPECIAL,   SERENDIPITY

T

TRUE,   TRUST – TRUSTING ,   TACT,   TEACH – TEACHABLE,   TEAM,   THANKFUL – THANK – THANK-YOU,   THERAPY,   TIME,   TEAMWORK,   TIMELINESS,   TOLERANCE,   TRADITION,   TRANQUIL – TRANQUILITY,   TRUST,   TRUTH,   TENDER,   THRILLED,   TOUCH – TOUCHED,   TICKLED,   TO MATTER,   TO KNOW,   TO BE KNOWN,   TO BE SEEN,   TRANSFORMATIVE – TRANSFORMATION – TRANSFORM,   TRIUMPH,   TEAMWORK,   THRIVE – THRIVING

U

UNIFICATION,   UNIQUE,   UPLIFT,   ULTIMATE,   UNCONDITIONAL,   UPGRADE,   USEFUL,   USER-FRIENDLY,    UNITY,   UNDERSTAND – UNDERSTANDING – UNDERSTOOD,   UNIFICATION OF MIND

V

VITALITY,   VALUE – VALUES – VALUABLE,   VIRTUOUS,   VALID,   VERIFY,   VERY,   VIABLE,   VIRTUE,   VICTORY,   VARIETY,   VULNERABILITY,   VIBRANT,   VOW

W

WORTH – WORTHY – WORTHINESS,   WEALTH,   WARM – WARMTH,   WELCOME,   WILL- WILLING – WILLINGNESS ,   WISDOM,   WISE,   WON,   WONDERFUL,   WELL-BEING,   WHOLEHEARTEDNESS,   WOW,   WONDER,   WATER,   WELL,   WELLNESS,   WELFARE,    WHOLE,   WONDER-WORKING

X

XO

Y

YES,   YOUTH – YOUTHFUL,   YOUNG,   YIPPEEE,   YAY,   YEARN

Z

ZEALOUS,    ZEAL,    ZEST,   ZIPPY

The Divided bride - Part 2
  • +18 Content. Part 2 of 3, first person perspective
  • Author: me, so-easy-to-love-me
  • Character: Loki and Thor, OFC
  • Genre: Romance and smut
  • Summary: A young Asgardian noblewoman is supposed to become married to Thor, son of Odin. But her heart belongs to another man…

Read Part 1 here.

Numerous times in our childhood I had watched Loki work his magic, in ways as manifold as they were different. He enchanted a boar once and gave him the ability to run twice as fast as nature had made him able to, only to make it impossible for Thor to hunt the animal down and catch it. When we lay together some evenings and he read to me, he let the book float in the air above us not to have to hold the heavy, often leather-bound item and to have his hands free to take sips from his glass or to place himself in a comfortable position. Harmless little magic tricks were those back then; but what he attempted to do to me now was far from harmless - quite the opposite.

Keep reading

Trouble - Elias/MC

One last little tidbit for WH Fluff Week. I just finished re-reading Elias’ route, and this scene just poured out.

Fic Master Post | AO3 | FF.Net


“An Elite Magic Knight? You?”

Elias flinched at the disbelief in his brother’s voice, but he forged on bravely.  “Yes.  Would you be willing to help?”

From behind his desk, Klaus crossed his arms and stared at him.  There was a long silence, and Elias began to fidget a little uncomfortably under Klaus’ pointed stare.

“The Elite Magic Knight certification involves rigorous battle training, well beyond what is covered at the Academy,” Klaus commented.  “Tell me why, Elias.”

An image came immediately to mind – the Tower of Sorrow, and Clara, bleeding to death in his arms. Elias had washed the bloodstains out of his uniform that next morning, but he never forgot the smell and feeling of it – his brave Buddy’s blood, warm and sticky, spilled in an effort to protect him.  The terror of feeling her life ebb away, and the powerlessness…

That had been the worst. That he, with all his As and supposed classroom mastery, could do nothing for her when it really mattered….

No. He would never let it happen again.  

Elias took a slow, calming breath.  “I need to be able to protect Clara,” he managed.  “If something ever happens to her…” he trailed off, not able to voice aloud to his brother the rest of the thought without revealing what was still so new and tender.

If something ever happened to her, she’d take his heart with him.

“Your Buddy,” Klaus muttered.  “The girl who summoned all the Carbuncles?”

Elias flinched.  “Yeah.”

“I can see why she would need the help,” Klaus smirked, and Elias couldn’t help but smile exasperatedly.

“She’s a strange one,” Elias admitted.  “She’s got almost no magical foundation, and her spells only work on animals.  But she’s really strong at Primitive Magic.  It’s as if…” he trailed off, suddenly aware of Klaus’ intrigued expression.  “I mean - !”

“Say no more,” his brother smirked mischievously.  “I get the picture.”

Elias swallowed.  

“Should I be writing to Mother and Father about a wedding soon?” his brother grinned.

“N-no!” Elias flushed red. “It isn’t like that!”

“It isn’t?”

“Well…” Elias groaned. “It’s none of your business, Brother!”

“I beg to differ.  If this girl is going to be part of my precious little brother’s life, it is very much my business. You will introduce your Buddy to me, won’t you?”

“Of course…” For a terrible moment, Elias panicked and felt his body turn cold.  He’d spent so many years in Klaus’ shadow…what if Clara, when they met…

No.

He pushed that ugly, horrible thought away, and took a long breath, deciding to put an end to Klaus’ ribbing.  “Brother,” he said solemnly.  “It would mean everything to me if you would help me train to become an Elite Magic Knight. Will you help?”

There was a long, assessing silence.  Klaus stared at him, expression suddenly unfathomable.  Then, finally, he took a sip from his teacup.

“If you worked hard enough,” Klaus began, “you wouldn’t need my help at all.”  Elias’ heart had begun to sink, when Klaus continued. “But I will.”

Elias drew a sharp breath. “Thank you, Brother…”

Klaus smiled.  “I’m glad to see that you’ve finally found something worth fighting for.  I hope your magic will improve as a result.  We start tomorrow morning, before class.” He nodded, in a clear gesture of dismissal.

Elias nodded and bowed, heart pounding in relief.  As he walked down the hall, he thought again of the events that night. Failing to recognize a magical sealing spell, and then nearly losing her to the Chimera, and then to Merkulova, and then Luca…

He sighed.  She was nothing but trouble, his Clara.

His Clara.  His chest seemed to grow tight through a thrill of tender possessiveness, and he couldn’t help but feel a slow warmth creeping up to settle in his cheeks.  Suddenly, he saw her down the hall, talking to her roommate.  Her Carbuncle spun in circles on her head, mussing up her hair.

As he approached, she noticed him and turned, expression brightening like a sunrise.

Nothing but trouble, he thought.  But totally and utterly worth it.

lana-lana-b0-bana  asked:

So far (in Camelot), Emma hasn't mentioned to Regina that she has to pay the price for saving Robin. Do you think that this means Emma is trying to protect her and that she's going to try and pay the price herself (hence the title of the 5B finale, 'Swan Song')? Maybe Regina put herself in harms way in Camelot, and that's why Emma was so mad at her, because she literally gave up everything for her happiness. Just a thought...

Well, I’m still trying to figure out what happened there and how it plays into the metaphor.

Firstly, I think Once Upon a Time uses three different concepts of Dark and Light, but they’re all using the same words. It’s how they’re confusing us. Even the characters don’t realize the distinctions.

First, there is the metaphorical meaning of Dark and Light we all use. Dark is Evil, Light is good.

Second, there is Dark and Light when they’re talking about magic. Now, we’re lead to believe dark magic is bad and light magic is good, but it’s not that simple. Dark magic actually operates according to the rules of Yin/Feminine and Light magic operates according to the Yang/Masculine. Even the characters think dark magic is bad, but it isn’t, nor is light magic good. They need to work in conjunction with each other.

Third, it seems like when talking about people’s mental state, they actually follow Freud’s principles of Dark/Thanatos/Death Instinct and Light/Eros/Life Instinct. (On a side note, Percival calls Regina an Angel of Death, Thanatos is the Greek God of Death who is frequently depicted with wings.)

Now, I’ll specifically talk about the Darkness and Thanatos, so I thought I’d copy the most relevant summary of the theory here. (It’s criticized, but I do get the impression OUAT uses it and it works well in their dualistic setup.)

Life and Death: Eros and Thanatos

Freud suggested that all living creatures have an instinct, drive, or impulse to return to the inorganic state from which they emerged. This todtriebe (drive toward death) is active not only in every creature, great or small, but also in every cell of every organism. He pointed out that the metabolic processes active in all cells have both constructive (anabolic) and destructive (catabolic) functions. Life goes on because these processes work together—they are opposing but not adversarial.

Similarly, Eros and Thanatos function in a complementary manner in the personal and interpersonal lives of humans. People seek out new experiences, reach out to others, and expend energy in pursuit of their goals. Eros smiles over ventures such as these. There are times, though, when humans need to act aggressively on the world, protect their interests, or withdraw from overstimulation and exertion and seek quietude. Thanatos presides over both these aggressive and risky ventures and the longing for “down time.” Humans function and feel at their best when these two drives are in harmony. Sexual love, for example, may include both tenderness and thrill-seeking.

Effects on Children

Unfortunately, though, these drives are often out of balance. Children may be punished or shamed for their exploratory and aggressive, even destructive, actions (e.g., pulling a caterpillar apart to see what is inside). A particular problem in Freud’s generation was strong parental disapproval of exploratory sexual expression in children. As a consequence, the child might grow into an adult who is aggressive and destructive where affection and sharing would be more rewarding—or into a person with such thwarted and convoluted sex/death impulses that making love and making war are dangerously linked.

Suicide and Homicide

Suicide and homicide often have roots in a confused and unbalanced relationship between the life and the death instincts. The destructive impulses may be turned against one’s own self (suicide) or projected against an external target (homicide). Wars erupt when society at large (or its leaders) have displaced their own neurotic conflicts to the public scene. [x]

So if they follow these concepts of Light and Dark, for Emma to finally have darkness means that she is in fact forced to consider herself. Thanathos or darkness is part of self-protection and your needs and desires are part of Thanatos. It’s important that you don’t indulge in every desire, but it is equally important to not repress all of your desires. It’s all about balance. And Emma was not balanced, she wasn’t protecting herself, taking what she wanted from life. She wasn’t giving in to her desires. 

So the darkness doesn’t allow her to do that anymore. The darkness forces her to ask for something in return. The price of magic wasn’t a life when  she saved Robin. She had to set the price and ask Regina for something that she wanted from her. She didn’t want to give in to her desires. She didn’t want to ask for something in return. Something she’s never done before when helping Regina. You can ask yourself, that if you sacrifice your soul for someone, and they are still not giving back… The problem is, Regina can’t actually pay the price if Emma doesn’t tell her what it is. So she paid the price by continuing to do what she always has done. Ignoring herself. That was the real danger, because it disturbed the balance.

Now, because Emma has the Dark One powers, she taps into a universal power. So you have to look at Emma like a saleswoman. She got to decide what the price was, but because it wasn’t paid and she tapped into that universal power, the power is now owed a life. It’s like when you buy a tv on credit and when you can’t pay, they take back the tv. We don’t know what Emma’s price actually was. It wasn’t actually fair to blame Regina, because she never gave her a chance to pay.

So Emma technically can’t pay the price, it’s an indulgence, so it scares me to imagine what she’s had to indulge in or take from Regina if she tried to pay the price herself. If she didn’t, then the life is still owed. Even if it seemed like she was trying to protect Regina - and she was was, because the price can be steep - she was also trying to protect herself.

I do think Regina put herself in harm’s way and that’s why Emma is so angry with her, because she tried everything to keep Regina safe and give her a happy ending. I’m not sure how, but I think Henry may also be more involved than we suspect. Or, she didn’t sacrifice yet, but she will in Storybrooke… Although that doesn’t really make sense if we look at everything Emma has said.

Well, this got awfully long and complicated… What it really comes down to is that clearly, these episodes need to air soon, because I need answers and I am going slightly insane.