the tears of jesus

*RM and Jackson chitchatting*

Jackson: So how’re things Namjoon?

Namjoon: *sighs* I need a break man, I’m tired of taking care of these idiot maknaes.

Jackson: *chuckles* What’d they do, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.

Namjoon: Taehyung flipped a table upside down, stood on top of it and yelled “look how the tables have tabled”, before tripping over his own feet and faceplanting on the floor. And then he tried to seduce the wall by hipthrusting in front of it.

Jackson: …. Jesus fuck. How drunk was he?

Namjoon: *near tears* That’s his sober personality.

Jackson: Good God.

The wedding vlog with Phichit

Phichit: Wedding vlog!! Come see my best friend marry his childhood crush in the extravaganza of the century! And with me today is my main man Chris!

Chris, sipping martinis at 11am: I’m so proud of Victor for finding a man ready to accept his receding hairline.

Phichit: Let not male pattern baldness stand in the way of true love! Let’s go!

*dabs*

*cut*

Priest: Look, you’re going to have to shorten your vows. I’ve got another wedding at 3.

Victor, holding a five inch thick wad of notes, outraged: This is the abridged version.

*cut*

Yakov: Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the grooms!

*Victor and Yuuri walk out of the church arm in arm, beaming.*

*crowd cheers*

Yurio: *aims his flower petals directly at JJ’s face*

*cut*

Phichit: Hey handsome, I caught the bouquet! Want to be in my video?

Seung-gil, off camera: Did you specifically ask to sit next to me?

Phichit, whispers: It was fate.

Chris, to Seung-gil: I saw him texting Yuuri.

Phichit, sliding in close to Seung-gil: Fate…

*cut*

Yuuri: Oh my god who installed a pole at my reception??!

Chris, toasting Victor: You’re welcome.

*Victor, tearing up* * Chris winks at the camera like he’s on The Office*

*cut*

Yuuri: I thought that was a bachelor’s night special!

Phichit, handing him champagne: It’s too early to say.

*cut*

Phichit and Chris: As joint best men for our speech, before we got on to embarrassing university stories, we thought we’d talk about the qualities that make Victor and Yuuri such a great couple.

*brings up a powerpoint*

Phichit: Ass.

Chris: Booty.

Phichit: The male form. 

*slides change*

Chris: Now as we can see from this shot, Yuuri is blessed with ample…

Yuuri: I don’t know what else I expected tbh. Victor, more champagne please.

Victor, lovestruck, bewitched, missing Yuuri’s glass and pouring it on his lap: Yes darling!

*cut*

Yuuri: Have you seen Victor? After we cut the cake he was crying and said he had to go thank Jesus or something??

Yurio, coming into the room: … you guys are not going to believe this.

*cut to outside shot of Victor clinging to the church spire, pants off, waving his cake at the sky*

Victor, screaming: I’M GAY! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Yurio, yelling: YOU’RE DRUNK.

Victor: Good point. I’m gay AND drunk, THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!

Yuuri, tears in his eyes: I love him so much.

*cut*

Phichit: Ok I may have had a little too much and flirted with that fireman.

Chris: You asked him to douse you with his special hose. It was incredible.

Phichit: At least they rescued Victor.

*cut*

Phichit, crying softly: Don’t forget me on your honeymoon!

Yuuri: Don’t worry, I’ll think of you every time I ask Victor to douse me with his special-

Phichit: NO!!!

Victor: I’m not sure how to feel about that.

Chris: Well he did just promise you a blow jo-

Victor, blushing, visibly excited, grabbing Yuuri and slamming the car door: WE’RE GOING NOW BYE.

*cut*

Phichit: So, how was the wedding for you?

Milla: The open bar was great except… Yurio got in.

*Yurio runs past on all fours, growling and spitting*

*cut*

Seung-gil: … how did this ring get on my finger?

Phichit: Don’t you worry your gorgeous head about it, you lily soft love muffin. 

*cut*

Michele: I think Victor went on his honeymoon pants-less…

*cut* 

Chris: We should’ve asked the firemen to help clean…

*pan out onto an empty room, tables messy with plates and glasses, streamers everywhere, Yurio is asleep on the ground, there is a small fire in one corner and Victor’s pants flutter from the chandelier*

Phichit: Worth it.

“we know how to kill you and make it look like a suicide!!!”

“we can summon demons from hell!!!!”

“we can throw you into a black hole for all eternity!!!!”

“you messed with the wrong fandom!!!!”

as an ethnic person I have way too much damn pride like I refuse to admit anything is spicy like the holy spirit could come down from heaven with a hedge of fire to put around my head bc what I ate was too hot n id still be like “na:)h fam…. im good…” if they offered me jesus tears to drink

Best Lines From Each Hamilton Song

Alexander Hamilton: You could never back down, you never learned to take your - TIME

Aaron Burr, Sir: Talk Less. Smile More.

My Shot: I think ya pants look hot ;)

The Story of Tonight: Raise a glass to freedom…

Schuyler Sisters: You want a revolution? I want a revelation!

Farmer Refuted: Is he in Jersey?

You’ll Be Back: I will kill your friends and family… to remind you of, my, love DA DA DA D-

Right Hand Man: Burr! Sir? Close the door on your way out.

Winters Ball: If you could marry a sister, you’re rich son. Is it a question of if Burr, or which one?

Helpless: Laughing at my sister cause she wants to form a harem: I’m just saying if you really loved me you would share him. HA!

Satisfied: … He’d be mine. She would say “I’m fineshe’d be lying.

The Story of Tonight (Reprise): You are the worst, Burr

Wait For It: When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect 

Stay Alive: I’m a general. WEEE!!

Ten Duel Commandents: Okay so we’re doing this

That Would Be Enough: And if this child shares a fraction of your smile, or a fragment of your mind, look out world, that would be enough.

Guns And Ships: No one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical BRILLIANCE.

History Has Its Eyes On You: You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down): Immigrants, we get the job done.

What Comes Next: Awesome. Wow.

Dear Theodosia: I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll make a million mistakes.

Nonstop: Hamilton wrote THE OTHER FIFTY-ONE

What’d I Miss?: I guess I basically missed the late 80’s.

Cabinet Battle #1: Turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits.

Take a Break: You’ve written “My Dearest, Angelica…. “

Say No To This: That was my wife who you decided to- fuuu

The Room Where It Happens: The art of the compromise, hold your nose and close your eyes.

Schuyler Defeated: They don’t need to know me they don’t like you.

Cabinet Battle #2: You must be outta your GODDAMN MIND

Washington On Your Side: SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS!!!

One Last Time: I’m sorry wha-?

I Know Him: They will tear each other into pieces, Jesus Christ this will be fun :D

Adams Administration: Siddown John YOU FAT MOTHER——

We Know: My god…

Hurricane: … We were sick and she was holding me, I couldn’t seem to die.

The Reynolds Pamphlet: You could never be satisfied, god I hope your satisfied.

Burn: You, you, you

Blow Us All Away: Everything is legal in New Jersey…

Stay Alive (Reprise): I know, you did everything just right.

It’s Quiet Uptown: Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

The Election of 1800: Well I’ll be damned…

Your Obedient Servant: Here’s an itemised list of thirty years of disagreements. Sweet Jesus

The World Was Wide Enough: America, you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: Oh I can’t wait to see you again, it’s only a matter of time.


Bonus Songs:

Congratulations: You know why Jefferson can do what he wants? He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response

Dear Theodosia (Reprise): We bleed and fight for you, sometimes it seems that’s all we do.

Ten Things, One Thing (I genuinely can’t decide between these five so here you go):

- The sun is in my eyes. I am almost giddy as I watch it slowly rise over my New York City.

- I examine the gun that we shared. Philip never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared.

- I feel a sense of calm fill me, it’s not in his political interest to kill me.

- My Eliza is still asleep. I left her a letter, I could have written it better.

- They put us through our paces, we count to ten. God, I can’t wait to see her again.


Just a quick note to say I didn’t forget Tomorrow There’ll Be More of Us, I just decided against including it because, in Lin’s own words, it’s more of a scene than a song. Really it’s just the The Story of Tonight sung over some quite, uneventful dialouge (very poetic given the content of that dialouge) so I decided to just leave it out. Anyways thanks for reading my random post I guess? Bye bye

i just wanna say this morning i woke up in tears because i dreamt steve and tony’s relationship was broken up beyond repair and years later tony’s hit by a spell that damages his mind, and steve ends up being the one who goes into his mind to try and “bring him back” (because tony’s built impressive mental shields over the years, but he’s always, always weak for steve). and that’s where steve finds out that the spell didn’t destroy tony’s mind, just displaced him so far from himself, and as a final defense mechanism, his mind had put him in what it deemed was the “safest” memory. that happens to be a white, endless room, with nothing but a bed in the middle, two bodies curled around each other. steve comes close enough to recognize tony and himself. tony’s shoulders are shaking with the familiar signs of a nightmare and this dream-steve has his arms around tony and kissing i love yous and never i’d never hurt yous into his hair and steve’s throat goes dry, because it’s them? tony’s safest memory is one of them? that’s when i woke up extremely distressed because i want to imagine that after that, they both confront the fact that they still have feelings for each other and they still want to try again