the tears by god these tears

anonymous asked:

BE PREPARED IM BUYING EVERYTHING IN YOUR REDBUBBLE IM IM TEARS GOD BLESS EVERYTHING IM PASSING MY ACNE IS CLEAR AND NOW YOU HAVE A R E D BUBBLE. There are tears of happiness being shed by thou :')

//lays on the floor,,,, post pictures of w/e u buy & tag me in them so i can shower u in love & appreciation ♡♡♡

Lost once more!
     All is finished, it is all over. Now I must die and die without hope. What then is death? Nothingness?… Would to God it were! But God Himself cannot make death a nothingness.
     Why do I think of Him for the first time for so long? The system of destiny created in my mind admitted no such single sovereignty… or rather that royalty was merged in the sum of all beings… it was the god of Lucretius, powerless and forlorn in his own immensity.
    She, however, believed in God and one day I surprised the name of Jesus on her lips. It slipped from them so softly that I wept. Dear God, those tears, those tears… they have been dry for so long. Give back those tears to me, O God.
    When the soul drifts uncertainly between life and the dream, between the mind’s disorder and the return to cool reflection, it is in religious thought that we should seek consolation; such I have never found in a philosophy which only gives us egotistical maxims or, at most, those twin tenets, empty experience and bitter doubt: it struggles against moral anguish by annihilating sensibility; like surgery, it can only cut out the suffering organ. But for us, born in days of revolutions and storms, when every belief was broken, brought up at best in a vague tradition satisfied by a few external observances, the indifferent adhesion to which is perhaps worse than impiety and heresy–for us it is very difficult, when we feel the need of it, to resurrect the mystic edifice already built in their ready hearts by the innocent and the simple. “The tree of knowledge is not the tree of life!” And yet, can we cast out of our spirits all the good or evil poured into them by so many learned generations? Ignorance cannot be learned.
     I hope better of the goodness of God. Perhaps we are approaching the predicted time when science, having completed its cycle of analysis and synthesis, of belief and negation, will be able to purify itself and raise up the marvellous city of the future out of the confused ruins… We must not hold human reason so cheap as to believe it gains by complete self-humiliation, for that would be to impeach its divine origin… God will no doubt appreciate purity of intention; and what father would like to see his son give up all reason and pride in front of him? The apostle who had to touch to believe was not cursed for his doubt!
—  Gérard de Nerval – from part two of “Aurélia”, translated by Geoffrey Wagner

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.

Casually adding this to the list of things that I wish had happened

God damn it this is so touching I'm crying so much

This is the reason why Victor (and I) feel like it is a marriage proposal:

Yuuri: (To Victor) Please be my coach until I retire! (Subs)
Yuuri: Intai made, boku no koto, onegaishimasu!

Do you know what he uses in here
He uses boku no koto
Not boku no coach (looks weird but you get what I mean)
Boku no koto: It’s like please be mine

So it feels more like Yuuri’s saying: Until I retire, please be mine!

THIS SO GODDAMN TOUCHING DO YOU GET ME

Victor kisses his hand like a response towards his proposal.

Victor: (so gentle and lovingly) I wish you’d never retire.

Victor: (Yes, I’ll be yours forever)

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CRIED AM AND STILL CRYING OVER THIS SCENE NOW

EDIT: A little error up there. When Yuuri says “boku no koto” onegaishimasu, it’s like saying he’s entrusting himself to Victor’s care (which makes more sense now that I think about it, because I realized boku no koto is like about me. Credits to @miyukieijun for pointing this out!)