the tastes and sounds of downtown

Look. It’s not even a big deal, you’re the one that’s turning this into a whole thing. You’ve never done anything like this before, but that’s okay! There’s a first time for everything, even though the situation right now is a make it or break it kind of deal. But it’s okay! Don’t even worry about it, yo. You’re just going to tell one of your closest friends that you maybe kind of sort of think that you two should be more than friends! You’re confident. As long as you keep telling yourself that you’re confident, that’ll reflect in your words and Harry will instantaneously fall in love with you. Maybe. It’s not a guarantee. It’s worth a shot, though! Better than keeping everything bottled up inside. Plus, maybe this time it’ll be different! Usually, with your other guy friends, you can 100% tell if they only see you as one of the bros. Harry hasn’t sent any bro signals yet so you’re pretty much in the clear! Think about it, Y/N. It’s only a minute of confrontation and then you’re over and done with it. And you think he likes you back, so that helps as well! 

“Okay, I can do this.” You breathed out, blinking at yourself in the bathroom mirror before rubbing your clammy palms on your shirt. “It’s just Harry.” Were you really about to do this? This was a move that definitely wasn’t you. This was a move that a drunk off her ass Y/N would pull. No, no. You were psyching yourself out too much. “Yeah, it’s just Harry!” You decided that the best thing to do right now would be to block all the negative thoughts and hope for the best. 

“Hey, there you are! I was starting to wonder what you were doing upstairs for so long.” Harry hummed, smiling at you and watching as you plopped yourself down in the sofa chair across from him. 

“Ah, I got distracted by a game on my phone. You know how it is.” You waved it off, the little voice in the back of your head rehearsing what you were going to say to Harry. “I wanted to talk to you-” 

“I jus’ wanted t’ tell yeh-” The both of you paused upon the realization that the two of you had something to share with each other, your cheeks already growing bright pink at the slightly awkward situation. “How about you go first?” Did you wanna go first? Maybe you could let Harry go first, and while he spoke to you, you could rethink your decision to tell him the truth. Yeah, that sounded good. 

“No, no! I insist that you go first. If I go first I’ll end up blabbing for twenty minutes.” You snorted, getting comfortable on the chair and hugging a pillow to your chest. 

“Okay, cool. I promise I’ll be quick.” Harry grinned, sitting up a little straighter before leaning forward. “I want you t’ meet a new friend of mine.” Oh, that was it? Phew. 

“Alright, I’m down with that. Who is it?” I really like you and I’ve liked you for a long time, so I just thought that you needed to know that. 

“Oh, she’s great. You’ll love her. I mean, I kinda love her already and I’ve only met her like, twice! She has her own cookbook and everything, and she’s a great baker… Just like me! The other night at my concert we were talking backstage and she has the same taste in clothes as me! Y’know those silky lilac pants you were teasing me about? She liked them! And she was wearin’ this really cool denim jacket with a tiger embroidered on the back… I let her borrow one of my shirts and I’m usin’ tha’ as an excuse t’ see her again.” Harry paused, checking his phone when it buzzed in his hand. 

No, that’s too straight forward. How about something like ‘How about we go grab some dinner sometime? I can take you to that fancy Italian place that opened up downtown last month.’ “Oh, wow. She sounds really cool.” 

“She is really cool! And because you’re my ultimate best friend, I really want you to meet her before things get too serious.” 

Or maybe he wants to stay at home? I can cook something for him. Well, I’ll try my best- Wait, what? 

You snapped yourself out of your little thought bubble before blinking owlishly at Harry. What did he say? You heard something but you were really hoping he didn’t say what you thought he had said. “S-Sorry? Can you, uh, say that again?” You smiled sheepishly, Harry furrowing his brows before huffing playfully. 

“I thought you were listening t’ me this whole time. I was saying that I want you t’ meet Tess next week and approve of her so that I can maybe take it to the next level with her! Because you’re my best friend and all, and your opinion really matters to me. Anyways, she’s hilarious and she jus’ texted me this recipe on…”

At that point, you had tuned out. The smile slowly dropped from your face when it finally hit you that all of this was just in your head. Your chest tightened and you could feel your heart beginning to drum inside you. You could hear the blood roaring in your ears, rushing up to the back of your neck and your cheeks in humiliation. What were you thinking? Of course you were just a friend to Harry. All those late-night phone calls, all those hours you spent traveling with him while he was filming for Dunkirk and while he was writing his album, all those times you’d wake up early just to make breakfast for him even though he never asked for it, all those times just helped you to… Further establish your position in the friend-zone. (You hated that term, but there was no other way to describe it.) Harry was friendly with everyone and you were the one who took it in the wrong way! 

“So, what do yeh think, buddy?” 

“Um, yeah. I’d love to meet… Tess.” You trailed off, feeling as though Harry had just shot a bullet straight through your heart. 

“Cool! I’ll text her. By the way, what did you wanna tell me?” 

“I… I forgot.” You felt completely numb on the inside. 

How could you have been so stupid? 

+

gif isn’t mine!

“Nice to Meet You”

Alex Ernst x Reader 

request: do you do alex ernst imagines? can you do one where the reader is an up and coming youtuber and she’s visiting LA to see if she wants to move there and she meets alex?




    As you boarded your plane at 2:00 a.m, you hugged your family and home-town friends goodbye. You had visited L.A so frequently to hang out with people you had met or to audition for commercials, ads, movies, and separate things, but at the moment, you were focusing on your career as a youtuber, you decided to Check out L.A as a place to live, permanently.

    You weren’t some hot shot youtube star with 1 million subs, but you were close, with 750,000 people were bound to recognize you, especially in a place like Los Angeles. You were staying with your close friend Y/F/N who recently moved to L.A but wasn’t anyone famous, once you heard first class being called you knew it was time for you to board, You hugged your family one last time and grabbed your bags while reaching in your wallet to grab your ticket. 


    As you walked out of the airport, your legs were shaking, the warm climate was nothing like you were used to, sure, it got hot where you lived, but nothing even close to this, it was almost comfortable but something made the air taste different. Pulling down your sunglasses, you walked over to the car where your best friend was waiting. 

“Hey! ready to go?” 

    Your friend asks with such excitement, they pull out a list with stuff they want to do while your there, and you roll your eyes, you knew something like this would happen, considering Y/F/N was so organized all the time, unless it came to their room. 

“Let’s get this show on the road”

You laughed hopping into the passenger side of the car, headed towards downtown L.A.


You got out of the car and instantly heard the sound of millions of people talking, some recording, others yelling at random people on the street, it reminded you of New York, a place you wanted/had to visit so many times.

    You pulled out your vlog camera and started talking, this was normal for downtown Los Angeles, it was the center of youtubers, you probably passed about 10 people holding video cameras, you talked to your fans about possibly living in L.A and if they saw you to come up and ask for a photo 

“Don’t be shy”

were your words exactly. 

   As you were telling your camera about some really exciting differences you’ve seen between your home city and L.A, you bumped into a stranger causing your camera to drop to the ground. 

“I’m so sorry” 

   The stranger said, picking up the camera and placing it back in your hands. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m new in downtown L.A, better watch where I vlog next time”

    You laughed wiping the dirt of the camera previously placed in your hand, you looked into the strangers eyes and noticed how inviting they seemed, after an awkward moment of staring he coughed and said

“I’m Alex, you Mentioned you were new here?” 

“Yeah, just arrived, and I’m y/n” 

     You shook his hand, and he told you to wait, he pulled out a black sharpie and flipped your hand onto it’s back, exposing your palm. He pulled the cap off with his teeth, leaving the cap between his lips, he wrote his number on the palm of your hand, and told you…

“If you need anything call, I’m Alex, once again” 

    He added for the second time, winking and walking away, and as you watched his figure disappear in the crowd you turned to your friend saying…


“I think I’m going to like it here”

Such A Good Boy (Role Play Series 2)

Summary: You come home to a lovely surprise from your husband on your anniversary.
Members: Yugyeom x Reader
Type: Smut
Length: 1335
Warning(s): Nice try.. I’m not giving anything away ;)
*Made this especially for Admin R, since I know how much she wants to dom her precious Yugy ;)

~Admin RatedM


Originally posted by t-ouma


“Babe, I’m home!” you shout as you lock the door and put away your coat.

You hear light banging coming from your room.

Keep reading

The walks we take when we are lonely

This is a poem about a walk I took during the worst summer of my life from my shitty apartment in Downtown Denver to a King Soopers grocery store. I wasn’t exactly sober and I really, really needed a Hershey’s cookies and cream bar, king size. This poem is not endorsed by Hersheys. Or King Soopers. 

I was so amused by that place, a single city of many galaxies.

Bright lights leaking from open windows, resting on 

the contrast of summer’s lilac blue evening hue.

It all sounds so peaceful before I admit the loneliness. 

Before I admit an empty heart beating grime down street gutters

looking for a body of water that did not 

taste so dirty. 

Somehow the

rain made the city smell 

whole. The rain told the city that the only thing it needed to become complete

was an afternoon of thunder and heavy traffic.

I became jealous. Bright lights orbited just

above my fingertips behind panes of glass.

I wanted to float into every open window 

and pretend I belonged in someone else’s home until I 

believed my own lies.

I wanted to touch something 

without having to admit my own gravity.

Manhattan Gothic

The rats grow bigger every year and have since the factories were built up toward the smoggy sky. If you feed them, even only once, they and their children will bring you gifts from the murky subway tunnels until you grow old. Your mother once dropped half a bagel into the gutter and every time an offering of thanks turns up on your porch she cries for days.

You visit the farmers market in Union Square. The trestle tables are all dressed with black cloth and you don’t dare to meet the eyes of the people behind them. The signs advertise organic lavender and freshly mulled cider but the things that lie squirming and blinking on beds of packed ice are surely not natural. A man calls for you to try some artisan wine, and you force a smile and decline. The air smells like windfall peaches and unwashed stone. A man calls for you to try some artisan wine. Your blood runs cold as you turn away from a pair of little girls with alarmingly red juice running down their chins. Artisan wine.

You have never been to Eataly. You aren’t completely sure what resides within the sleek glass exterior of Eataly, but the people you see on the subway clutching little paper bags bearing its insignia are all pallid and glassy-eyed. They never speak, but the faint fragrance of tagliatelle follows them when they leave. They are not threatening, but once you found a chocolate truffle, round and luscious, in your coat pocket when one of them sat too closely. The taste of salted caramel hasn’t left your mouth for months.

You wait for the F train. You left yourself an extra hour for your commute, but somehow it doesn’t feel like enough. The uptown F always runs faster than the downtown F. The downtown F always runs faster than the uptown F. You fall in love with others on the platform, and you fall out of love. The sound of warm summer rain and the smell of halal carts and the timbre in your lover’s voice all fade into the garlands of trash that decorate the tracks. Was there a delay? How can infinity be delayed? Who can hold the void between stations?

Searchlight Soul

I suppose you could say it was simpler then. That your reaction was more visceral because you’d put actual work into something. You’d taken the risk of going downtown to that record store where every clerk was at least silently judging you. Where your reputation as a person with somewhat decent taste in music was at risk every time your scuffed Chuck crossed the threshold to a tinkle of bells.


We were less connected, more diverse. Every region had its own sound, every city a unique rhythm. Even certain small towns had some distinctive flair. When people talked about the “sound” coming out of Detroit, or Nashville, or Muscle Shoals, other people knew what they were talking about. Listening to what people were listening to in another city on the other sides of the country was an exotic vacation you could take without ever leaving your bedroom.

Seattle. I’d never been there. I don’t think I even knew anyone who had been there. It could have been Canada, or Mars, or Australia for all I cared. It was far. And yet.

There was a connection. I felt it. When we lose another, I feel the severance––a ripple in the force, if you will––and then my own light grows a little dimmer. These are people who enriched and enlightened me, even if we never exchanged biologicals. For a time, I can’t shine as I once could, and this is my definition of “missed.” Chris Cornell is sweaty summer nights on a back porch, legs up on the railing to catch the breeze and cool the backs of our thighs. Chris Cornell is sneaking out of algebra or biology lab to listen to an album through shared headphones in a bathroom stall. Chris Cornell is more a part of my teenage years than most people with whom I exchanged biologicals.



He wasn’t the only one. It started with Kurt. I was in high school and my parents didn’t know what to do. How to explain to them the connection. Then Layne. Then Scott. Now Chris. How much they have given to us, and how much we have taken.

© 2017 by Jennifer R.R. Mueller

Can’t help falling in love with you | Tyler Joseph |

Plot: He hears you sing for the first time 

Imagine: Tyler Joseph x Y/N

Words: 971 

As always: Not proofread, because i’m lazy af

———

It was another chill night on tour with your boyfriend Tyler’s band “Twenty one pilots”. They’d played a show the evening before, but had today off. All day, you and Tyler had walked around the city, exploring the sights, smells and tastes. Definitely a lot of tastes. But as the sun began to fade, and you guys were about to call it a night, you heard the muffled sound of music. It came from down the street. Being curious music-lovers, you both followed the sound and arrived in front of one of the many bars downtown. You both immediately noticed something different about this one. 

“It’s a karaoke-bar!” You exclaimed, obviously excited.

Tyler looked at you with bright eyes, curious as ever, “Wanna go inside? We could get a drink and see if this city has got some talent.”

Nod. Of course you wanted to go. 

“You don’t have to ask me twice!” 

You grabbed his arm, following him inside the bar, where you were welcomed by neon lights, quite a lot of people and the smell of alcohol. Tyler spotted a seat in front of the stage, where a guy, probably drunk, was trying his best to keep himself together as he choked out Adele’s “Hello”. Was he crying? 

“Go grab those seats,” he pointed in their direction. “I’ll go get us some drinks.”

He spun around and headed for the bar. 

“A mojito, please!” You yelled after him, not ever sure if he heard it or not. 

He did, or he just knew you well, because 5 minutes later he was back with your drinks. One for each. 

“Milady,” he placed the drink in front of you.

“Thank you, kind sir,” you chuckled, grabbing the drink and tasting it. 

He sat down across from you, sipping his drink as his eyes travelled across the stage. The host sent off Adele-man, before looking out at the crowd.

“To any newly arrived: Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Sam and I’m your host here at “Sam’s singing bar”. It’s a pleasure to have you here, and I hope you’ll jump on stage and share some good tunes with us all. Until then we have,” he skimmed the paper in his hand, “Amanda! Who’ll be singing Panic! At The Disco’s “Victorious” for us!”

A young, brunette woman jumped on stage, flashing a shy, but still wide smile. Sam handed her the microphone. “The stage is yours, Amanda!”

People cheered as the song began. I loved Panic, so I couldn’t help but bop my foot to the beat and sing along. I suddenly felt Tyler’s eyes on me.

“What?” I looked at him. He looked way too excited.

“You should go up there and sing!”

I froze.

“What? Me? Noooo! I can’t sing!”

“Baby, you don’t have to have an amazing singing voice. It’s all for fun! And you love singing! Don’t try to deny it!” 

I bit my bottom lip, debating wether or not I should make the bold move. I looked back at Tyler, whom turned on his puppy-eyes. I sighed. 

“You’re right. It’s just for fun. I’ll go.”

Tyler’s face immediately lit up. I stood up, before walking over to Sam who was looking at Amanda as she finished the song. I leaned in, whispering my request into his ear. He nodded, giving me a thumbs up and a wide smile. People applauded Amanda, as she bowed and walked off stage. I felt the pressure get to me. Amanda’s voice was pretty good. I hoped I wouldn’t make a fool of myself.

“And up next is Y/N with Elvis’ “Can’t help falling”! Give it up for her!”

People clapped, but all I heard was Tyler cheering me on, as he pointed at me. 

“That’s my girlfriend! You go, girl! You got it, baby!” 

I blushed, sending him a shy smile as the song started playing. I took a deep breath… 

“Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you…”


“Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you?”

I felt myself calming down and enjoying it. 


“Like a river flows
Surely to the sea..”

I looked at Tyler, catching his eyes with mine. He looked surprised, but not in a bad way. Maybe I’d underrated my skills? 


“Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be…”

I walked to the edge of the stage, feeling more confident, and held out my hand for Tyler to grab. With the widest smile I’ve ever seen, he stood up and grabbed it.

“Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can’t help falling in love with you…” 

I pulled him on stage, and heard the small crowd cheer us on. Tyler chuckled as he stood up on the stage. I kept on singing.

“Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can’t help falling in love with you…” 

I paused, squeezing Tyler’s hand lightly as I turned to look into his eyes. Deeper than ever, or so it felt. 

“For I can’t help falling in love with you…” 

I felt myself almost whisper out the last sentence, before the crowd starting cheering, clapping and whistling. I blushed - again. But I didn’t have time to worry about that, because I felt Tyler’s hand cup my face and pull me in.

“Your voice is amazing… You’re amazing,” he looked into my eyes, before planting a loving kiss to my forehead. 

“It’s because I can’t help falling in love with you…” You whispered, pecking the corner of his lip as you said it. This followed by a proper, tender kiss on the lips afterwards. 

Tell Me Something That I’ll Forget.

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 11.5K+

Content: Bi!Lashton, polyamory (MFM dynamic), language, graphic content, sexual situations (anal sex, multiple partners, light spanking, orgasm denial, etc.)

A/N: I have returned and it feels so good to be back. This is something that I’ve been working on for quite some time, and it is notably different from what I’ve posted before. I had an idea of Chef Ashton and I’ve always wanted to explore polyamory within the bounds of fanfiction. This is what I came up with after about two months of messing around with it. Have an open mind if this is all new to you. Enjoy. :-)

Feedback is greatly appreciated

Keep reading

Wander These Dark Nights

A.N - For the Fandom Bingo card spot 1-1; ‘insomnia’.

Tsuna hums under his breath as he rolls the dough out on the expansive kitchen table. It’s another sleepless night for him, and with almost all his Guardians down (with the exception of maybe Lambo, who Tsuna heard playing video games coming down) its just him up and awake. So he’s decided to take over the kitchen while the chefs are asleep and make some home-made pies that everyone likes. 

Keep reading

Wrong Channel -Stiles Stilinski (Smut)
image

Originally posted by itsbennystilinski24

Summary: What happens when two hormonal teenagers accidentally switch into a porn channel when they were tug-o-warring the remote?

[[based of this prompt: Muse A and Muse B are watching a movie together, when suddenly an unexpected sexy/sexual scene comes on, causing extreme awkwardness between them, as they are crushing on each other but not yet together.]]

Warnings: The most detailed smutty smutty smut I have ever written.

Word Count: 2564

Grab your bibles and your holy books cause yall about to sin. YALL NEED JESUS!

Keep reading

disconnected | l.h.

Who knows if Luke’s texting mistake could lead to something great.

+masterlist

disconnected

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Chapter 10

Character key:

Luke
(y/n)
Ian
Ashton


Monday, January 10th
(8:03am)
No one likes Mondays.

(8:04am)
I feel kind of bad for Mondays.

(10:02am)
Good morning to you too.

(10:04am)
Good morning sunshine.

(10:05am)
Luke.

(10:07am)
Yes?

Keep reading

[ovw] on your mark (1/??)

Rating: T
Pairing: mcgenji, sort of..
Note: AU where everything’s the same except McCree is a Deadlock mechanic and Genji is a literal motorcycle. So maybe a lot of things are not the same.  Please blame @fishuus for this.  She tempted me with McCree in fitted racing leathers and who am I… to say…. no. 

Also I’m casually writing this as a mental exercise. Expect sporadic updates of varying length. It does have a plot though, which I hope to get to if I survive. But who knows!! Thank you for putting up with me and my fake Transformers AU (i know nothing about transformers, im sorry).

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

Keep reading

Requested: How You Meet ¿?

I did public dares and singing. I’m not sure if that’s quite what you asked for, but this is what I came up with. xx

Calum:

You and your friends had been out at the clock tower people-watching when you guys decided to interact with these strangers in even stranger ways.

“Go hold his hand and walk with him until he pulls away,” my friend whispered, pointing at my fourth victim. I shrugged and stood, walking a bit faster than normal to catch up with him.

I grabbed his hand and kept walking without even looking at him, but he looked down, shocked, and then smiled. We kept walking and when we got to an ice cream shop, he turned and walked in, opening the door with his other hand.

“So, what’s this all about?” he asked, standing in line.

“It was a dare, I have to walk with you until you pull away,” I laughed, mockingly tugging my hand away from him, faking discomfort.

“Well I guess I’m just going to have to keep holding your hand then,” he smiled, ordering two small chocolate ice cream comes and handing one to me.

“That wasn’t necessary,” I said, but accepted the small gift willingly.

We walked around downtown for a while, asking each other questions, later finding out each other’s names.

“Calum,” he said, taking the last bite of his cone.

I still had over half my ice cream left, so when I told him my name, I reached up and poked him on the nose with my ice cream.

He used one hand to wipe it off and the other to pull me in for a hug.

“Ha! You let go!” I said, turning and walking back towards my friends.

“Wait!” he called after me, reaching into his pocket and grabbing his phone. “Could I at least get your number?”

I laughed and took his phone, entered my name and number, and joined my friends.


Michael:

My friends decided that since it was New Year’s Eve, it was time for me to showcase the talent that I’d kept hidden away for numerous reasons.

I sat on the brick wall of the fountain right in the middle of the city and started strumming my guitar. My friends stood around me as a sort of preformed crowd, one of which developed rather quickly.

I sang the lyrics to All Time Low’s “Backseat Serenade”, earning a few wolf whistles and a cute teenage guy sitting next to me.

When I reached the chorus, him and I harmonized and I realized how truly amazing this guy’s voice was. My friends were all smiling down at us and each time I made eye contact, one of them would wink at me and wiggle their eyebrows.

At the end of the song, the stranger stood and said, “I’m Michael.”

I started putting my guitar back in the case and responded, “I’m (Y/N).”

“That was amazing,” he complimented, picking up my guitar case and handing it to me.

“Not so bad yourself,” I smiled, taking the guitar case from him.

“We should do it again sometime, yeah?” he asked.

“Of course,” I smiled and waved to him before facing endless torment from my friends.


Luke:

“He’s on his phone, he won’t see me!” I said, trying to convince my friend that this dare was too much.

“I had to talk to a guy with a baby! And a wife!” she argued.

“Fine, fine,” I grabbed my drink and my phone and lined up my path with his.

I made it appear as though I was texting right as we collided, my drink spilling all over both of us.

“God, I-I’m so sorry,” he stuttered, shock written all over his face.

“It’s alright, my fault really. I shouldn’t have been on my phone,” I said, brushing a piece of ice off my shoulder.

I looked up at this six-foot-something stranger, his bright blue eyes sparkling, his cheeks pink.

“Let me buy you another one. Where’d you get it?” he picked my cup up off the ground and read the AmanzeTea label before tossing it in the trash and leading me in the other direction.

He constantly apologized and when we finally got back to Amanze, he bought me another and we both sat down at the table and started conversing.

His name was Luke, he’s abnormally tall compared to the rest of his family, and he has amazing taste in music.

When I glanced at another table out of the corner of my eye, I saw my best friend sitting in a chair, not but four feet away, smirking at me.


Ashton:

I was walking down the road downtown on my way to grab some ice cream when I passed the marble sculpture where a young guy sat on a box drum, singing the lyrics to my favourite Bloc Party song.

As nervous as I was to talk to him, I found myself sitting next to him, harmonizing. Not going to lie, it sounded amazing.

About halfway through the song, he looked over at me and smiled and kept on with the beat, but stopped singing, signalling he wanted me to sing by myself.

I sang the third verse, before motioning with my hand that I wanted him to pick up the chorus with me and he gladly obliged.

After the song was over, we realized quite the crowd had formed, phones out recording, everyone clapping, even a couple of whistles.

He stood up and stuck out his hand, “Hi, I’m Ashton.”

“I’m (Y/N),” I smiled, shaking his hand.

a/n: This one kinda sucks, but I hope you enjoy it anyhow. Requests are still open… (hint hint)

ranie135  asked:

Can I please have maknae-line, something based on the quote, "Greed, for the lack of a better word, is good." Wall Street (1987).

He’s a beautiful boy and that’s all that matters in this world of guilty pleasures and cold hearts because emotion isn’t the trend. Wonder if he’s for sale, for one night corrupted with drugs and alcohol and mistakes, so many reckless mistakes.

Keep reading

11 things you should know (and 1 thing you do already)

1.

I bawled my eyes out two nights ago because the thoughts of you were so overwhelming that I couldn’t think of anything else.

2.

Can I call you? I haven’t heard your voice in over three months and I am starting to forget the way it sounded when you’d say my name.

3.

Every time I see a picture of you, I get so sick to my stomach. You’re like the flu.

4.

I am not doing fine— I feel like I never will be fine. There’s always going to be a place missing in me; the place where you used to reside.

5.

I kissed a boy to try and feel something. He tasted like vinegar in my mouth, and after it was over, I sat in my car and cried for twenty minutes.

6.

It felt like spring last weekend. I went downtown and walked through the crowds of people with spring fever. I was hoping I’d see your face. I am glad I didn’t.

7.

I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’ve found someone new. I hope she makes you happy.

8.

I’m sorry I didn’t make you happy.

9.

I almost texted you when I found out you were having to put your dog to sleep. I know he was your best friend for over twelve years. My heart broke for you. I felt it best if I didn’t say anything.

10.

I know it seems like I don’t care, but I do care. I’ve always cared. I always will care.

11.

I still love you.