the tag about my trans things

you all need to think about how you interact with trans men online, like really think

recently one of my posts about being a trans man and casually interacting with another trans man got about 90,000 notes and the tags and comments are full of ‘too pure for this earth’, ‘i’m a dirty sinner i don’t deserve to read this post’, ‘adorable cute sweet precious boys’ despite the fact that it’s mentioned that i am in college and not a child in the post and you all need to think about how some trans men do not want to be referred to that way and being okay with being referred to that way is pretty much exclusively a young teenager tumblr thing that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable. i’m just a man. none of this is necessary and it’s very performative, but…

along with this infantilizing, with this obsession with the proposed purity of another man and myself just for existing, there’s also dehumanization that comes with it, for example:

somewhere along the post, someone decided it would be a good idea to add, ‘all i can imagine is two eldritch horrors trying to get their voices as horrifying and fucked up as possible’ (not exact quote but that’s the gist of it)…

and someone decided that it would be a good idea to take my experience, wildly change the context and make a FANFIC, on MY OWN POST, of two eldritch MONSTERS upset because their voices didn’t sound ‘as horrific’ as the ‘monsters’ around them, and bonding over it together. nowhere in this fanfiction was being trans mentioned.

this is, quite possibly, the most horrifying thing someone has added to one of my posts and going beyond dehumanizing my experiences as a trans man enjoying my voice getting deeper, but also writing a fanfiction onto the post that changed the context of ‘two trans men finding validation between one another and our voices’ into ‘two monsters are sad they’re not scary enough and bond over trying to be scary together’. i shouldn’t have to explain how horrible that is for me to read, and how horrible it is to see that added on my own post & circulated through hundreds with no criticism.

quite frankly, it’s devastating to see how people talk about and interact with trans men. we are either children who must be protected and are weak and vulnerable and ‘too pure’, or we are fuel for your fanfics that completely strip us of our humanity. i consent to neither and if you think that any of these things are okay to do to a complete stranger, all you’re doing is patting yourself on the back for your performative ally points while making trans men uncomfortable with sharing their experiences and talking about their lives and trying to be happy with themselves. stop it. 

since trans day of visibility is coming up in a few days (march 31st), i figured i’d make a list of advice for cis people commenting on/reblogging people’s posts/selfies?

  • do definitley like and reblog and tag and comment on our posts!! its what TDOV is for! show your support for the community by showing us some love
  • dont post any selfies if ur cis. today is not about u
  • if ur gonna comment about how great someone looks, great!!
  • just make sure u use the right pronouns/descriptors. most people put their pronouns on their selfies, but if they dont its easy to check their bio to see if they have them! 
  • also dont say stuff like “wow ur prettier than I am!!” bc that implies that u think cis ppl are more attractive as a default, so its insulting and patronising
  • if the post is one with pics from multiple stages throughout someones transition, pls dont say “its not fair u get to be hot in both genders!” because thats cissexist n transphobic and adheres to the “used to be a X” rhetoric and erases people with fluid genders and implies that cis ppl inherently deserve to be hotter/better 
  • go thru the tdov tags!! spread some love to all of us (not just conventionally attractive and/or passing people)
  • its not only selfies either. lots of ppl post some really cool content so dont miss out on that either

thats all i can think of rn. feel free to add on if u want

EDIT: okay so lots of people have said things along the lines of “im going to post selfies and theres nothing you can do about it” or “i want to post selfies anyway” and like. cool. whatever. im all for celebrating urself with selfies. just,, dont make this day about you okay? like keep out of the tags and dont make it an ally thing. and to the people who want to post selfies just because its a trans ppl day and for no other reason: fuck u

i’m happy that the “stop infantilizing trans men” movement is gaining more traction, but i still don’t think cis people realize all the little ways they strip trans men of our manhood.

earlier today i saw a post about healthy binder wearing, which is great, but the post began with “to all my binder-wearing babies…” and no. stop. do not pass go. i don’t care how informative or helpful your post is, calling us babies is still disrespectful, and i have seen far too many ‘friendly reminders’ that contain the same type of language. there are 1000 other things to call trans men (bros, buddies, dudes, etc) that don’t infantilize them, thanks


A bunch of doodles for someone having a crappy time on twitter, for their bigender Mic headcanon- I left it a little vague to fit my hc too ;)- I definitely put him on the nb scale somewhere but I didn’t bother going into pronouns etc! (this is also assuming a trans Aizawa)

They spent a long evening on the gender wiki- and got Mic some cute clothes the next day :’).

I had to horribly edit things and squeeze them together to get them under 10 pics, sorry about that ;).

And as always, sketches are tagged mal sketches if you want to blacklist.

[edit- tumblr messed up the order- should be fixed-]

“That character can’t be trans, we’ve seen him without a shirt!”
Okay but consider this:
Puberty blockers are a thing
Small titties are a thing
I don’t really care what you think

bazephyrs  asked:

Karen notices Peter's been searching for things related to binders/packers & obviously just asks 'Would you like me to readjust your suit to your liking?' basically i just want Karen to be Peter's robotic mentor about gender & sexuality

karen’s an AI and is totally unbiased, so he finds himself sometimes laying in bed at night with his mask on just asking her questions. it isn’t that he feels like he can’t ask may about these things, it’s just awkward sometimes. she’s basically his mom, sometimes he doesn’t wanna ask her about all these things about his body.

“hey, karen, can i ask you one more question about how the testosterone is effecting my junk?” peter whispers into the darkness of his bedroom.

“you have asked me 27 questions in the past two hours about your ‘junk’ and otherwise, peter, you are welcome to ask me as many more as you would like.”

“cool it with the sarcasm, karen.

“i am incapable of being sarcastic, peter.

“she said, sarcastically.”

if you tell me to shut up about my gender/sexuality, i will look at you and say “then why can’t y’all cishets control yourselves and stop holding hands in public? why can’t you stop forcing heterosexuality onto children from the ripe young age of a day old? why can’t y’all stop putting cishets in media? why can’t you stop gendering things that don’t have to be gendered?”

don’t be a hypocritical piece of shit.

It’s honestly so weird to me the reasons people give for disliking blupjeans? Because the most common response is ‘it was so rushed’ but like? Taakitz was rushed too? I mean, from the listeners perspective they had maybe a handful of interactions and only one actual date and we KNOW they didn’t see each other again after that date, ‘cause Taako went to Wonderland and then Kravitz was trapped.

But with blupjeans there was a lot of buildup to their relationship? From the end of The Suffering Game (i don’t recall any moments before that?), we know that Lup means a lot to Barry. Then we get into The Stolen Century arc, and yes we only see a few interactions, but there are A LOT more than there were for Taako and Kravitz. We see them go from Lup teasing Barry cause he’s a nerd to them being friends, to Barry’s massive crush and then that duet??? Like they got a lot more of a backstory, a slow burn romance backstory, and Taakitz had like? Barely anything?

I don’t mean any insult by this, everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, it was just always so weird to me? And I have LITERALLY nothing against Taakitz, like ‘reckless flip wizard and nerdy bounty hunter of Death’ is very much the best, but? Blupjeans is just as important. Trans people in hella straight relationships are just as important. (and if she’s also got a poly thing going with Lucretia that’s super super cool? Who knows)

Every LGBT character is as important as the next. Unbury your gays, but don’t bury the trans characters in the aftermath, my dudes.

EDIT: someone pointed out in the tags that it’s totally possible that Taakitz had more dates than just that one and I completely forgot about that in ttazz! Yeah, they defo had more dates, each just as cute, but it all still happened within the span of a couple months versus the century of blupjeans buildup. Blupjeans probably seemed rushed since it all, to us the listeners, took place over a few episodes, but please keep in mind that from our perspective Taakitz was only in maybe three episodes tops!

Hi! Some of you might know me from @vvakarians (my main blog) or from @dragonageaspecweek as Mod Mal! I decided that this fandom needed a little more positivity in the trans department, so I’m hosting a Trans Positivity week!

  • It will run from August 21st to the 27th
  • This is for BOTH Dragon Age and Mass Effect series 
  • It is open to ALL people with trans characters and trans headcanons
  • During this week it is encouraged to make anything you would like about your oc’s or send in things about pre-existing characters that you headcanon as trans! 
  • My ask box will be open for general questions, if you want to introduce your character, or just talk about trans stuff
  • I will track the tag #transbioware, feel free to @ me as well!!
  • There will be absolutely no hate on this blog, if anyone sends it in they will be blocked and reported 

I just really wanted to spread more positivity in this fandom during a time that a lot of people are coming out and spreading hate. I myself am trans and know what it’s like to feel like shit when someone does that. I’m hoping that this week and this blog will help people feel safe in sharing their experiences and characters/headcanons!! 

anonymous asked:

Trans peter jokingly calling things that inconvenience him transphobic to himself. Web shooters not working? Transphobic. His spider suit not fitting? Transphobic. He makes these jokes with some people he's out to.

peter would do this, half the time without even thinking. one day he’s battling doc ock and nearly gets crushed to death when otto drops a bridge on top of him. and as he crawls out of the rubble he’s yelling about how transphobic this all is, and how “my goddess and savior laverne cox will hear about this you stupid octopus man!!!” just general Trans Nonsense™

two days later jameson is putting out a headline of “SPIDER-MAN IS TRANS?” after an anonymous source tipped the bugle off. and of course peter would accidentally out himself to a villain all bc he couldn’t stop calling every inconvenience transphobic, of course that’s how his life would go. he thinks the whole thing is really transphobic.

autumnal-dawn  asked:

Hi! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind educating me about the phrase "compulsory heterosexuality"? I'm wondering what about that is terfy or transphobic. I've used the phrase before and I didn't know that it was a phrase that was exclusionary and that's the last thing I want to be, so I'd like to be educated on the subject so I can share it with others who I know have used it too. Thanks!!

If you go to my tag “compulsory heterosexuality”, you’ll see some trans women and transfeminine ppl explaining it a lot better than I could.

Essentially, it was coined by Adrienne Rich, who was a huge TERF. (As in, helped-Janice-Raymond-write-her-infamous-book type TERF.) She believed that all (cis) women can and should be lesbian, and coined the term to explain away bisexuality. (Oh, there are women who experience attraction to women *and* men? They’re just lesbians experiencing “compulsory heterosexuality”!) Even without the whole biphobia thing, many trans women have talked about the importance of not normalizing terms and other things that were created by TERFs.

I know lots of lesbians (including myself) have gone through a period in life where they truly believed they were attracted to men, because the idea that women have to be attracted to men is so ingrained in our heteropatriarchal society. But there are other words (like “internalized heteronormativity/homophobia/lesbophobia” or “coercive heteronormativity”) that we can use to describe that.


jokes about trans people, done ironically or not, perpetuate transphobia in society and allow trans people do be further marginalized by society. by making “jokes” like this even ironically you are enabling transphobic behaviour and giving people who are transphobic a platform

more information on “did you just assume my gender” and why it’s harmful to trans people can be found in this thread

also, if you think these sort of jokes are some sort of niche thing that aren’t common, i implore you to check any sort of meme page on instagram or just go into the transgender tag on sites like ifunny. people love to ~ironically~ make fun of trans people without realizing it’s wrong. with this i hope to at least let people know what they’re doing is harmful

to quote the song by the smiths: “that joke isn’t funny anymore

any feedback on this slideshow can be submitted through the ask box on this blog

thank you for reading all this, i know it’s a lot but it’s important to take in and realize. 

My fave thing about sapphic culture is how we make everything gay…. The trans lesbian moon, her pan gf the sun, the nb bi ocean, mountains are gay, those gay ass swans, like everything is gay and you know what? The world needed a little less heterosexuality and a lot more sapphicism and we are getting there one wlw shitpost at a time

To my trans boys who;

  • don’t have clear skin
  • don’t have defined jawlines/collar bones
  • don’t have a six pack
  • aren’t all muscle
  • aren’t over 5′6
  • are chubbier
  • are still kinda slim with big hips and thighs
  • are still kinda slim but with a big chest and no hips
  • are kinda slim but with a “feminine” figure
  • aren’t exactly skinny but aren’t exactly fat either
  • still love dresses/skirts/makeup but can’t express that without being called she/her/miss/ma’am
  • still love the colour pink 
  • still love princesses
  • have long hair
  • shave their legs
  • are straight (attracted to girls)
  • are ace/on the ace spectrum
  • don’t know who they are just yet and are still figuring themselves out
  • go against the norm and the typical ideals of what being manly means
  • have severe dysphoria almost constantly
  • have no dysphoria at all
  • don’t bind their chests
  • don’t have “masculine” names
  • don’t have deep voices
  • don’t have the courage to correct people when they use the wrong pronouns
  • don’t fit tmblrs “trans boy” mold
  • aren’t in a safe enviorment to come out
  • are in a safe enviroment physically but are scared to come out
  • don’t have/want any sugeries
  • aren’t confident enough to be shirtless
  • are insecure about their scars (surgery or self harm scars)
  • aren’t on/don’t want to be on testosterone
  • have physical disabilities and/or mental disorders
  • don’t have physical disabilities or mental disorders and don’t feel like they’ve “suffered” enough to be part of the lgbt community
  • are still struggling with being proudly trans
  • have always been proud of who they are
  • have indentified trans for years
  • have identified trans for weeks, days, hours 

Here’s to all my trans boy looking for support and looking for a sign to keep going. If you need help, please don’t hesitate to ask a friend, family, or a professional.

You are all valid and all handsome as hell. If you aren’t happy right now, I truly hope you will be one day. Hopefully soon.
Until then, stay safe & stay alive, friends.

**also please feel free to add on about other genders or about more trans boy things if you’d like. tag a friend who needs to hear some of these?**


To help people navigate posts on here better, I’ve constructed this tagging system.

Social transition

FTM products:

Medical transition - Hormones:

Medical transition - Surgery:

Family, friends, partners:


anonymous asked:

hi !!! so abt ur au w/ kent parson as kate parson, u tagged it as rule 63 and like idk if u kno this but stuff like rule 63 is pretty transphobic ?? because like it assumes to be a girl u have to have a set thing of qualities and vice-versa !!! i love ur art and i wasnt sure if u knew this or not


I will answer you because you asked nicely, despite still being on anon. This is the picture you mean: 

Reasons I drew Kate Parson- 

It’s part of a bigger AU I want to write, where Jack only had relationships with girls all his life, and discovers he might not be straight when he starts being attracted to Bitty. So- girl Kent Parson (note that I didn’t say trans or cis, because those are characteristics, both are girls). In this story, I guess Kate Parson is cisgender- because there is a very precise exploration I want to make: how is the best hockey player going to react if they’re not treated like the men, how will her relationship with Jack change, how will their on and off affair work for the media, how will their competitive side change, etc etc. Hence, I wanted to draw this character, so I drew her.

Is it transphobic to change a male character to a female character-

Note that I didn’t say either trans or cis, again, because those are adjectives. Unless otherwise stated, any character can be cis, trans or non-binary. I know there is a problem with representation for transgender people, and there really should be more trans characters everywhere. 

But this is not what I was aiming to do with this picture (or the others I drew of the crew). I wanted to take a character who’s a cis male, and put them inside my reality- which is cis female - with all its limitations and realities. If I wanted to make them a trans character, the story would have shifted, because the problems and realities trans people face are not the same. It would be a good story to tell, but it was not the story I wanted to tell at this point. 

(If you want to see my trans Bitty headcanon, or the trans Jack one.)

So, in taking a character from a story I love, and making them closer to my reality, there was nothing against trans people, they’re just not mentioned, because that precise story is not about that. I wanted to tell a story about the things I know. I know what growing up a cis girl is.

(I know we’re talking about a picture, but a picture hints at a story, and this one hints at a bigger universe, one I haven’t had the time to write yet.)

Why tag it rule 63, etc

Tags are essential for communication, and an essential tool for tumblr. I know the origin of Rule 63 (from the Rules of the Internet) and that it means to “switch” the gender of a character. This definition, written a decade ago from people who didn’t have the vocabulary or even the knowledge we have about gender today, is, of course, incomplete. There are more than two genders, there is more than cisgender people.

But even if this definition is lacking, it is a term widely known and used, and something that people can look for, or block. 

I know that cis-swap is also used, but again, I don’t want to stop people from imagining characters as trans unless it’s explicit in the story.

I heard that spectrum-slide was also a thing, but I haven’t seen it used, and if it’s not used, tagging it like that will not help much the people who want to block it.

Things are grey

We’ve been communicating more than ever, and this is an excellent thing. People found like-minded people all over the globe, made connections, found words to describe themselves, which is, in my opinion, one of the best things that ever happened to the human race. We’ve been realising these last decades that people need protection, and that some habits ingrained in the world were hurtful.

But there is a counterpoint to that, and it’s the fact that, sometimes, when you fight for an ideology, you forget the human side. You start thinking in black and white, and forget that nothing is ever that simple. Everything is grey, everything is color, and by saying things like “your picture is transphobic” when it has nothing to do with trans people- neither in good or bad, just, nothing, is forgetting that there is intent behind art, and sometimes that intent is miles away from what you think it is. 

So, is my picture transphobic? After reading the intent behind it? After knowing that I thought long about it, after knowing that I’m fully aware of the trials and tribulations of the trans community because most of my social circle is composed of trans, non-binary and genderqueer people and I keep myself updated about their reality? 

I mean, I’ve been called transphobic for drawing a character that was inspired by one of my best friends mid-transition. I’ve been called homophobic for head-canoning a character as bisexual. I’ve been called racist because I didn’t draw a certain character during a certain week of the year. I know what to expect from the internet, at this point. 

But in the end, I know what I am, I know I do my best, and mostly, my soul is okay with the things I create, and if people read them in some other way, well, too bad. 

(Note that I will not answer messages over here and in my inbox because I know those discussions can turn. I just wanted to make a point, and maybe offer words to people who were looking for them. This is added to my other policy to never answer mean anon mail.)

I would like that [shyan oneshot]

I would like that
summary: the third person who knew Ryan was trans was the ghost that haunted his apartment.
rating: teen+
fandom: buzzfeed unsolved
pairing: ryan bergara/shane madej
warnings: mentioned [murder/death/drug use/stalker/abuser]
tags: ghost!shane, trans!ryan, ghost boyfriend, lol, weird universe
notes: this is just a random little thing that wouldn’t leave my head no matter how hard i tried so I wrote it down to give myself some peace. have fun guys! this makes no sense, so fair warning!

Keep reading

trans baku hcs

- wears loose clothes whenever he can bc it’s comfy and he hates it when clothes hug his hips
- his hero costume is the only tight thing he’ll wear. it was specially designed to give him gender euphoria
- toxic hyper masculinity except every time someone validates you it gets slower
- by third year he’s comfortable enough to walk around the dorms in shorts + his binder
- yes, he knows he looks like his mother. stop telling him that already gfdi
- uses makeup to make his face look more masculine. he (“begrudgingly”) gives the other trans kids in class 1a tips for their own makeup
- spends about twenty minutes every morning doing voice exercises to make sure his voice is low enough
- always layers his casual clothes
- loves swimming but doesn’t do it often