the survivor is born

i hate how the idea of “good survivor” vs “bad survivor” has changed over time too like. “good survivor” meant a typically fictional portrayal of a victim who is able to forgive all their abusers, recovers quickly and doesn’t relapse, and only experiences one or two symptoms, if they experience any symptoms at all! to combat that, the idea of a “bad survivor” was born to take into account the reality of recovery and how difficult it was, and that there was ups and downs to every recovery, that relapse was okay, etc 

and with the rise of nd tumblr, this idea has been twisted to mean a “good survivor” is somebody who pursues recovery at all. the “good survivor” is somebody who goes to therapy, who takes medication, who has literally any other way to cope with their mental illness and advocates for others to recover. but the feelings behind the “good survivor” hasn’t changed – they’re still seen as someone who’s too neurotypical or someone who wants to please neurotypicals, rather than… help themself? 

the opposite of this is the “bad survivor” and that’s what 90% of nd tumblr is. the “bad survivor” wallows in their mental illness, uses it to excuse their behaviour (guilt tripping, possessiveness, etc) and is extremely anti-recovery. “i can’t recover” is always a lie, or a misguided assumption based on misinfo and exposure to other “bad survivors”. everyone can recover in some capability 

“bad survivors” seem to think that recovery means therapy. it doesn’t! it means learning coping methods to help yourself, learning to recognize your symptoms, learning when your feelings are irrational, learning to take accountability in your actions (especially if they’re caused by your mental illness!), learning that your thinking and actions are toxic, etc!! 

therapy can be expensive, and for those who have faced abuse in the medical field, or who would be otherwise discriminated against therapy might not be an option, but therapy is not the end all be all of recovery. you can start your process of recovery without ever stepping into a psych’s office

recovery is possible, recovery is normal, recovery is healthy. it’ll probably be hard. you might relapse. you’ll have good days and bad days. all this is normal, and not indicative of your progress. having a bad day doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, having three bad days in a row, or even a bad week, or hell a bad month doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. keep working at it, and you will improve. don’t let anyone tell you recovery isn’t healthy

tl;dr: this mindset of anti-recovery amongst nd tumblr and the demonization of those who advocate for recovery is extremely toxic. the current definition of a “bad survivor” – one who denies recovery and wallows in their mental definition – is not one to be proud of. recovery is healthy. recovery is normal. teaching young mentally ill kids that they should deny their need to recover is extremely unhealthy and can fuck them up for years. if you want to wallow in your self pity, at least take responsibility for your actions and keep your anti-recovery rhetoric to yourself 

a sexuality or gender affected by trauma is still valid! if your abuse made you uncomfortable identifying with the gender of your abuser, then you can choose any other gender you feel safe with. if your trauma made sex impossible for you, and you now identify as asexual, your are asexual! you are just as valid and a member of the lgbt community as someone who feels they were born that way.

anonymous asked:

What's Pillars of Eternity?

I’M YELLING OH MY GOSH OKAY SO

I’M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS SERIES

(forcing myself to not use caps from here on.)

Pillars of Eternity is an isometric RPG made by Obsidian and successfully crowdfunded via Kickstarter. The spiritual successor to the Infinity Engine games (Icewind Dale, Baldur’s Gate) was released on the 26th of March, 2015, and got incredible reviews - 9/10 on Steam, etc. It’s a game that explores, among many other things, what exactly a soul is - during a period in which regions of the land are experiencing the Hollowborn Plague, which results in children being born without souls. And you, remarkably, are the survivor of a Biawac - storms that rip the souls from the bodies of mortal. This results in you becoming a Watcher, which means you can read the souls of certain individuals and peer into their past lives.

Matt Mercer voices two of the main companions (Eder and Aloth) and Obsidian has done a fantastic job in crafting the world of Eora. A sequel, Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire, was recently successfully crowdfunded via fig (it raised 4.4 million, and paypal donations have just opened up too!) and Deadfire will be the first time Obsidian has worked on the sequel to one of their original IPs. 

I highly recommend Pillars of Eternity, and I do believe it’s currently on special on Steam.

Also: you can get pets. You can get a space pig as a pet. It is beautiful and glows. 

anonymous asked:

Hello! Do you know of any really long fics with a lot of smut? Thanks!!

Saving the future by Lulling Sisters and witches, Snow, Ruby and Regina, get a visit from mysterious Emma Swan. She has come from the future to save the world the sisters know. Emma’s secretive, guarded, mysterious and hiding secrets about her true origins and the horrid future she comes from. Secrets no one can ever know. The fate of the future and her own family rests on Emma’s shoulders. No pressure.

Lament of the Asphodels by @dracox-serdriel Killian Jones is the Keeper of Stagrock Light, the Sole Beacon of Northedge, and he lives a simple life apart from the society he serves. His entire world turns upside-down when a shipwreck leaves him with a stranded Survivor, born with the name Emma Swan. Complications arise when they both begin to experience a rush of other memories that might just be from another life.

The Dark Horizon by @qqueenofhades AU. The Caribbean, 1715: Royal Navy Lieutenant Killian Jones and his brother, Captain Liam Jones, have just arrived to help pacify the notorious “pirates’ republic” of New Providence. But they have dangerous allies, deadly enemies, and no idea what they’re getting into when they agree to hunt the pirate ship Blackbird and the mysterious Captain Swan. OUAT/Black Sails, COMPLETE.

Take Me to Church by @optomisticgirl Emma Swan returned to her southern hometown of Storybrooke to pick up the pieces of her last shattered relationship, determined to rebuild her life in the one place she swore she’d never return to. What she didn’t expect was the new priest and the journey of passion, love, and redemption he would take her on. [Priest!Killian Modern AU]

Where There’s Smoke There’s Fire by @lizzyc807shipscaptainswan Killian Jones is ex-special forces Navy and a fire fighter in a company in the city. One night after a particularly bad day he meets a bail bonds person named Emma Swan who awakens something in his heart that he hasn’t felt possibly ever. The unlikely pair just might be the kindling that ignites the flames within each other’s heart that had been dulled for years.  

To Make Your Heart Race by @fergus80 Killian “Hook” Jones is NASCAR’s bad boy, who is forced to do some community service to clean up his act. Emma Swan is the counselor at the local Children’s shelter who is done with men and relationships after her latest in a long stream of nightmares. (You do not need NASCAR knowledge to read this.)

His Dark Beauty by @wordsmith-storyweaver Emma lives a quiet life on the small farm she inherited upon the death of her parents many years ago. That life is disrupted when one good deed brings her to the attention of Prince Killian-widower, father, and brother to the king. He offers her a deal too good to be true, and yet, who could possibly refuse the man who might one day rule their realm? Rated M.

These Nights Aren’t Made For Thinking by @nowforruin AU. Emma Swan came to Portland, ME to start over. She’s got a job she loves, but when a particular case gets under her skin, she finds herself visiting the Jolly Roger and its curious bartender, Mr. Killian Jones, more often than she thinks is wise. But some nights aren’t made for thinking. Captain Swan.

I’m not saying Morrigan, Queen of the Court of Nightmares, Queen of the Court of Dreams, runner of Velaris and the Hewn City, Third in Command, member of the Inner Circle, a survivor, referred to as the Morrigan, dreamer born in the Court of Nightmares, and fought full on with Amren and survived, is my wife, but that is exactly what I’m saying.

Zootopia Fanfiction Take A Stand: Star of Ceartais Ch. 5 - The Heart of Sherwood

(AN/ Hey folks it’s Garouge/ Crewefox here with another chapter of Star of Ceartais. Thank you to everyone who liked, followed, faved, reviewed and reblogged the last chapter, you are all amazing…and sorry, not sorry, for the cliffhanger last week. Also I want to thank the awesome SOC development team of @raykamino, @nick-and-judy-daily, @senny74 and @alexboehm55144 for helping with ideas and beta reading this chapter, I could not do this without you guys. So without further ado let’s get cracking with this chapter…)

Here’s the fanfiction.net link… https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12439999/6/Take-A-Stand-Star-Of-Ceartais

Chapter 5- The Heart of Sherwood

As soon as Robyn and Hannah had contacted Jack, the buck rabbit had ran into his Skye’s home office who was busy trying to mobilize all the Major Crimes Bureau agents under her command to help with the impending relief effort, he had to shout that Hannah and Robyn were injured and trapped to get her attention. Skye immediately hung up the phone and started forming a plan of rescue, the nearest MCB office was less than three miles away and it had a helicopter on it’s grounds, the husband and wife drove to the field office and Jack quickly selected two agents with medic training to accompany him on the rescue mission while Skye despite being worried sick stayed at the field office to coordinate all the other agents. It’s at this point Skye realised one important detail that both her and Jack neglected; they hadn’t contacted Nick and Judy, Skye cursed herself for this, she had been so focused on the rescue she had forgotten to call them. The resulting phone call was panicked, scream filled and sound tracked with sobs but soon enough a message came through on the radio that Hannah and Robyn had been found and they were getting rushed to Savannah Central General Hospital via the chopper. Nick and Judy were told to get there as soon as they could…

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.” Judy repeated with rushed breaths, she was in the passenger seat of the family car as Nick drove through the wrecked streets of Savannah Central with the hospital less than a block away.

Keep reading

incoherentgeometry  asked:

Oh a somewhat darker note, could we have a depiction of Queen General Toriel? Or Queen Warrior?

I saw her when the smoke finally cleared, among the fire and ashes of what used to be our campsite. She did not try to come close or say anything, just… stood there, staring at me. I know the mages say we shouldn’t be afraid, that humans are inherently stronger than any monster but…

… I was there, in front of her, and I didn’t feel strong at all.

- Sole Survivor of the 3rd Ebbot Scout Troop


Most of the monsters born after the barrier was in place would have troubles recognizing their Queen if they ever saw her Warrior persona. The war was extremely hard for everybody involved, and a lot of monsters had to adapt and change a lot to prepare their souls for the destructive impact of battle. Even in self-defense, LOVE and EXP still have a powerful effect in monster souls:

“The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.” - Sans


Toriel escaped this fate for the sole reason that her role makes it impossible for her to stop caring. We have mentioned again and again how our version of the war develops in a pretty different way than it does in classic Undertale due to the different personalities that were in charge. In this timeline, Toriel is at lvl 12 by the time Chara falls into the Underground, and she was already at a pretty high level before the monsters became trapped. She had to do a lot of things during the war that she deeply despised for the good of her people, and that’s the sort of experience a soul as sensitive as hers can’t just shrug off. Her deeply rooted feelings of guilt go way beyond the murders of the fallen children.

But those details may be a bit too dark for this blog. Sol and I like to develop the world a lot and sometimes we go even past what we know we will be able to actually show. You most likely won’t get to see all the darker aspects of what happened in the human-monster war, but we still like to slip small hints at the emotional and psychological impact that had on the survivors.

Like the fact that all war veterans in this comic always have more DEF than ATK.

(Because monster only lower their defense when they finally feel safe)

- Poisond

Aura Reading (Post 3): Aura Colors and Practicing on Humans (break Down)(Very Long Post.. WORTH IT)


The Point of this Post is to concentrate on what we can easily see with our eyes… If we let it ;)

Okay so now that you can SEE auras, What do they mean?

FIRST you should learn “Auric Pairs" 

In my last post, you notice that real colors are surrounded with Auras of different colors. These auric colors are not random.

Here is a list of Auric Pairs of colors for all clean colors of the rainbow (monochromatic colors).

red gives turquoise aura, turquoise gives red aura
orange gives blue aura, blue gives orange aura
yellow gives violet aura, violet gives yellow aura
green gives pink aura, pink gives green aura

The above table applies also to intermediate colors, for example yellow-green color gives a pink-violet aura.

Note: The above Auric pairs are DIFFERENT than complementary color pairs, "color wheels” and “color spaces” promoted by the science and Art on Earth. Every child can confirm that auric pairs listed above are true (their eyes have not been trained to “ignore” things the way ours have)

Looking at Nature will show many Auric Pairs. Take any red colored bird and you’ll notice that it will have turquoise body parts too. The same applies to blue/orange, yellow/violet and pink/green combinations, not only in birds, but in fish, butterflies, flowers etc.. - anything which is vividly coloured by Nature.
Occasionally you will see “the next best” color instead of a perfect auric match. Have you noticed that MOST of flowers on Earth that grow on trees and are surrounded by GREEN leaves are either violet, pink(purple) or red? Auric Pairs in Nature are very stimulating, and frequently induce an overwhelming feeling of beauty and happiness. :) Isn’t that beautiful?

You need to memorize and know well the above Auric Pairs.
Why?
Because if you see a pink Aura around someone in a bright green dress, there is a strong possibility that you see the “Aura” of a dress, not of a person.

How to see and READ the AURA: Part 3

External image

Seeing the Aura

This exercise is designed to see Aura for the first time and/or practice seeing Auras. Choosing good conditions is important: not only you see the Aura better, but also to help you be confident about what you see.

  1. Situate the person in front of a very softly illuminated PLAIN WHITE background. (A colored background will change Aura colors, so you need additional knowledge about combining colors. Some combinations of background and Aura colors may cause misinterpretation problems.)
  2. Choose ONE SPOT to look at. The middle of the forehead is VERY GOOD. This is a location of so called Brow Chakra or the Third Eye. In some cultures (India) they put a mark on a forehead. Such a mark in ancient times could mean the invitation to look and see the Aura.
  3. Look at this spot for 30 to 60 seconds or longer
  4. After 30 seconds analyze surroundings with your peripheral vision, while still looking at the same spot. Continuing the concentration is most important. Resist temptation to look around. 
  5. You should see that the background nearby the person is brighter and has a DIFFERENT color than the background further away.
  6. It looks like a sort of “glow” around their Head/Neck/Shoulders
  7. This is your own perception of the Aura. The longer you concentrate, the better you will see it.

Remember, concentration on one spot increases your sensitivity by accumulating the effect of the Aura vibration reaching your eyes.

Taking a “Mental Snapshot” of an Aura.

  1. After concentrating long enough to see the aura, close your eyes.
  2. For a second or two you will see the Aura ONLY. Be prepared.
  3. You have only one second or two until your photosensitive cells will stop vibrating and sending visual sensations to the brain. And if you miss is, you have to start concentrating again.

Try to experiment how fast or slow you should close your eyes.

Observing auras of other people

The best is to look directly at someone’s brow chakra (third eye or wisdom eye, which is located slightly above the nose, between eyes) and try to achieve the state of mind similar to the concentration technique described above for at least 30-60 seconds.

Advanced Readings: You can looking at throat and heart chakras with similar results. However, if you’re concentrating on someone’s chest (especially women lol) it looks prettty creepy. Like REALLY creepy.
When you look into someone’s brow chakra, you can actually continue conversation, without looking like a creeper. Yaaayyyy

Again, VERY softly illuminated background, with no shadows is best. With practice, any EVENLY illuminated background (such as a blue sky for example) will work alright.

———————————————————-

How to see your own Aura

Stand about 1.5 m in front of a good size mirror. In the beginning it is best if the background behind you is plain white and there are no shadows. Illumination should be VERY soft and uniform not bright. Follow instructions above for seeing Auras.

PRACTICE for at least 10-15 minutes each day to increase your sensitivity and develop Auric sight. Remember that practice is required to develop Auric sight.

Auric sight and after-images 

You Just learned how to pay attention to what your eyes are capable of!

Light sensors in our eyes (Red Green and Blue) are vibration sensors which are highly non-linear and they have memory. The consequence of memory is that they can oscillate for up to several seconds after the visual stimulation has been discontinued.

Science Time: This memory of visual stimulation is frequently perceived as Afterimage. Afterimages have a precisely the same shape as original images. Afterimage of an object surrounded by its Aura is larger than the original image. The increase in such afterimage is due to the vibration of an Aura and actually represents a “snapshot” of an Aura. It is VERY IMPORTANT to focus on one spot when watching the Aura and resist temptation to change the point of focus, otherwise an image of the Aura may become confused with the afterimage of an object.
—————————————————————-
Meaning of Aura and its colors

The Aura is a reflection of our True Nature at any given moment. At this point it is perhaps necessary to explain what do I mean by “True Nature” and why some effort is necessary to “discover” it.

Our Society seems to emphasize symbols, stereotypes, habits, manners, superficial behavior, pretending, following others and submitting free will to some “leaders”.
Our “Education” seems to be based on views and expectations of people who try to control the flock.

Our True Nature is what’s left when we recognize and Throw out all of our habits, stereotypes, manners, pretending, and superficial behavior and become fully conscious, truly natural and spontaneous.

Note: Some people are so attached to the way they think and habits that it is very hard, if not impossible, for you to discover who they really are. The only way to get an instant insight into their personality seems to be by watching their Aura, because the Aura shows their True Nature, behind any facade of superficial behavior.

In general, the more colorful, cleaner and brighter the Aura, the better and more spiritually advanced is the person. Also, the more even, or uniform the energy distribution in the Aura, the healthier and more balanced the person is.
——————————————————————————


THE COLORS (Finally, right? Sorry lol)

Our Aura surrounds the entire body, but the interpretation of colors below relates to the Aura around the Head Only.

Advanced Readings: When you learn to see Aura well, you can verify it for yourself, by concentrating on certain thoughts while watching your Aura, or telling people what their thoughts are when you see their Auras. Super Powers? Yes Please.

Usually, people have one or two dominating colors (strong points) in their Aura. These colors (or their Auric pairs) will be most likely their favorite colors.

In addition to dominant colors, the Aura reflects: Thoughts, Feelings and Desires, which appear like “Flashes”, “Clouds” or “Flames”, usually further away from the head.
For example: a flash of orange in the Aura indicates a thought or desire to exercise power and control. Orange as a dominant color is a sign of power and general ability to control people. Quickly changing “flashes” indicate quickly changing thoughts.
————————————————————————
Meanings of (Clean) Colors of the Aura:
(colors of the rainbow, bright, shiny, monochromatic colors):

  • Purple:
  •  indicates spiritual thoughts. Purple is never a strong point in the Aura. It appears only as temporary “clouds” and “flames”, indicating truly spiritual thoughts.

————–

  • Blue:
  • Balanced existence,sustaining life, eased nerve system, transmitting forces and energy. People with blue strong point in their Aura are relaxed, balanced and feel ready to live in a cave and survive. They are born survivors. 
  • Blue thought is a thought about relaxing the nerve system to achieve the balance of the mind or a thought about surviving. 
  • Electric blue can override any other color in the Aura, when the person is receiving and/or transmitting information in a telepathic communication.
  • For example Michel Desmarquet, author of “Thiaoouba Prophecy”, frequently glows with the electric blue during his lectures, especially when he answers questions from the public.

———-

  • Turquoise:
     indicates dynamic quality of being, highly energized personality, capable of projection, influencing other people.
  • People with turquoise strong point in their Aura can do many things simultaneously and are good organizers.

They feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing.

People love bosses with turquoise Auras, because such bosses explain their goals and influence their team rather than demand executing their commands.

Turquoise thought is a thought about organizing and influencing others.

————–

  • Green: 
    restful, modifying energy, natural healing ability.
    All natural healers should have it. 
  • People with a green strong point in their Auras are natural healers. The stronger the green Aura, the better the healer.

Alternatively, they may also love gardening and usually have a “green thumb”. Anything grows for them!

Being in a presence of a person with a strong and green Aura is a very peaceful and restful experience.

Green thought indicates a restful state and healing.

————

  • Yellow: 
    joy, freedom, non-attachment, freeing or releasing vital forces.
  • People who glow yellow are full of inner joy, very generous and not attached to anything.
  • Yellow halo around the head: high spiritual development. A signature of a spiritual teacher. Do not accept spiritual teachings from anyone who does not have such a yellow halo.

Buddha and Christ had yellow halos extending to their arms. Today it is rare on Earth to find a person with a halo larger than 1 inch.

  • Yellow halo appears as a result of a highly active brow chakra (which can be seen glowing with violet by many people… Auric Pair).

Highly spiritual people stimulate the brow chakra continuously for many years, because they always have intensive spiritual thoughts in their minds.
When this chakra is observed when highly active, a yellow (Auric pair) halo appears around it, surrounding the entire head.

Yellow thought indicates a moment of joy and contentment.

————

  • Orange: 
    uplifting and absorbing. Inspiring. A sign of power. Ability and/or desire to control people.

When orange becomes a strong point, it usually contributes to a yellow halo, which then becomes gold, indicating not only a spiritual teacher, but a powerful spiritual teacher, someone capable of demonstrating his/her unique abilities.

  • Orange thought is a thought about exercising power or a desire to control people.

——————-

  • Red: 
    materialistic thoughts, thoughts about the physical body. Predominantly red Aura indicates materialistically oriented person.

———————

  • Pink (=purple+red): 
    Love (in a spiritual sense). 

To obtain a clean pink, you need to mix the purple (the highest frequency we perceive) with red (the lowest frequency).

  • Pink Aura indicates that the person achieved a perfect balance between spiritual awareness and the material existence.

The most advanced people have not only a yellow halo around the head (a permanent strong point in the Aura) but also a large pink Aura extending further away.

  • The pink color in the Aura is quite rare on Earth and appears only as a temporary thought, never as a strong point in the Aura.

———

Meaning of Dirty colors: 

  • (colors appearing darker than background more like a smoke than a glow)
  • Brown: 
    unsettling, distracting, materialistic, negating spirituality.
  • Gray: 
    dark thoughts, depressing thoughts, unclear intentions, presence of a dark side of personality.
  • Sulfur (color of a mustard):
    pain or lack of ease, anger
  • White:
     serious disease, artificial stimulation (Ex: drugs).
    Why does the white color in the Aura indicate problems?
    White color is like a noise, rather than a set of harmonious tones (monochromatic colors). It is impossible to “tune” the noise to an orchestra playing harmonious music, hence the white Aura indicates a lack of harmony in the body and mind.

Nature, which we are a part of, is harmonious. This harmony comes in discrete vibration “tones” or harmonics, partially described by the modern quantum physics. 

  • Several hours before the death, the Aura becomes white, and greatly increases in intensity. For this reason in most cultures “death” is depicted in WHITE (not black), because in the past, people could actually see a white Aura before death.

It seems that our ancestors knew much more than we are prepared to admit.

————————————————————————-
Amplifying your Aura vibration and bio-energy

Things which can greatly amplify your aura are:

  1. Meditation (purifying your mind from any thoughts)
  2. Concentration exercise (My post with the pictures of the circles with the cross)
  3. Matching your Aura with the environment

———————————————————————–

Welp, That concludes the Lesson! Hope you Guys enjoyed! Happy Aura Reading!

Namaste,

~ApriL

Well, wow. A lot of lore going on here.

Beta was created *during* the Rebellion, as a scramble to hurriedly make more troops. So. I think we have a near full timeline of the Rebellion!

1: Poodle and her crew land on Earth. Bismuths construct buildings and warp pads.

2: The Prime Kindergarten is created. Rose Quartz is born and begins the Rebellion.

3: A nebulous web of events happens: Pearl is liberated, Garnet is formed, Lapis is captured, Lion is owned by Rose and Bismuth is hidden away, Beta K is created, and Jasper is born.

4: Homeworld begins the Cluster experiments, orders a mass retreat and three of the four Diamonds unleash corruption from space. Lapis is cracked and left behind, Poodle is corrupted, Rose, Pearl, Garnet and Bismuth are the only survivors.

5: Amethyst is born. Peridot is born.

6: Greg Universe meets Rose Quartz. The show begins.

DEEPEST LORE

Let me tell you something I have learnt over the past few months.
I’ve seen a lot of comments like “I can’t deal with this anymore”, “I wanna die” and “life sucks”.
You know what? Life sucks and sometimes it’s too hard. You feel like you’re swimming in an ocean and you’re drowning. There will also be days when you feel like you want to throw everything away but believe me, pick yourself up. Your story can’t and won’t be over because you were born to live and to survive. You’re a survivor.
I can’t tell you that life is always beautiful when you tell yourself a million times that it’s okay and you’re okay. Life isn’t always beautiful but it’s worth it. Be there to see it pls

We will never forget and We will never again be silent.

Past & Future in our Hands - by Karen Gillerman-Harel

With an extraordinary blend of sensitivity and symbolism she succeeded in bridging the past with the future through the arms of Polish-born Auschwitz survivor Dora Dreiblat, born in 1922, and her great granddaughter Daniela Har-Zvi, born in 2007 in Israel.

The infant’s hand, stretched out towards the number on her great grandmother’s arm, links the future, the present and the past over the flag of Israel, making the photograph a compelling historical document.