the subtleties in suffering

For such is the subtlety of the devil, that he will not suffer the witch to infuse poisonous matter into the body of man or beast, without some of the witches blood mingled with it
—  Blagrove, 1671
foreign(or) god

god comes down to say hi sometimes,
stepping out with the people of all race and ages.
god has an accent no one can discern.
god is an immigrant stumbling over the foreign languages of grief,
emotion, not recognising the subtleties
between happiness and happy-in-this.
and even god suffers from cognitive dissonance,
can’t say anything the same way we do.
trying to find the right words
and only coming up with something we won’t understand or will tend to misinterpret.
half the time god doesn’t even know what he means,
those misharmonised thoughts making
less and less of a self when put together.
god is a collection of parts we have assumed fit him without asking.
god wears the twice worn pants of someone else
and has to hem them by hand.
god is tired of this.
god was tired when he heard this.
god speaks softly so as not to wake the demons we tell children about
when they come here:
loneliness and depression and never really belonging.
there is something so sorrow-filled
in the way he begins to recognise we cannot
do not want to be saved.
god walks away
and we justify his actions to ourselves
as if he had done the atrocity.
god has a limit to forgiveness and it starts with desecrating kindness.
god has all the accents of the people we have turned away.

Do not be despondent when fighting against the incorporeal enemy, but even in the midst of your afflictions and oppression praise the Lord, Who has found you worthy to suffer for Him, by struggling against the subtlety of the serpent, and to be wounded for Him at every hour; for had you not lived piously, and endeavored to become united to God, the enemy would not have attacked and tormented you. - St. John of Kronstadt

Troll nightmares

I don’t think trolls get nightmares from purple blood chucklevoodoos

I’m under the school of thought where chucklevoodoos are a concept made up by the cult, like a type of holy power.
Magic is only real through Sgrub, so Gamzee and Kurloz take that concept and make it real

I think troll nightmares are caused by the Handmaid.
Think about it.

Doc Scratch said this
“While I am his weapon of subtlety and precision, the Handmaid is strictly an apparatus of terror and suffering. We have both paved the road to his arrival, I in my way and she in hers. She would be present during every watershed moment in her civilization’s development. Her recurrance in history would earn her the reputation of a demoness, more feared than even her master, a man though dreadful rarely makes himself seen. She stirred up class warfare and intensified bigotry in whatever era she haunted. She made sure the descendents would enter a world which prepared them well for the game, and took measures to see that they would play as they did. ”

She haunted troll kind over countless centuries, creating horror and dread.

I think she gave the troll race ingrained PTSD. This makes the chucklevoodoo concept survive in the cult, thinking it to be true

Her work blended with the concept of chucklevoodoos (the idea coming from the Gamzee part of Lord English and reinforced through her)
Would be the fuel to spark the fire that Gamzee and Kurloz use their powers from

anonymous asked:

lets talk about how JK has literally been all 'notice me senpai' towards JM since the beginning. like when they were shooting no more dream and jin hugged jm and jeon comes over like what are you doing without me? or how about when he kicked a ball over to tae just so he could sit beside JM? or more recently taking food from hobi to feed JM himself?--suffering anon


***long post***

“Since the beginning” YES I love this sentence. It’s a slap in the face for those who’ve been saying Jikook is a one-sided love. like, the whole “Jungkook hates Jimin” shit is so medieval and ancient! lmao.

I mean, Jungkook has been dropping hints, be it subtle or less subtle, ever since the birth of Bangtan, but people’ve chosen to live with the concept of kook pushing jimin away bc they’re too ignorant to see beyond what’s been shown on the surface. Jeon is tsundere af lmao. he could be saying “I don’t give a fck” to Jimin but act otherwise, like…

What is this?

Jimin looks guilty as hell and so uncomfortable when he sees Jungkook heading towards the cam. and excuse me Jeon? He’s not exactly yours for you to stare at him like he’s committed a crime lol. /SCREAMS HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!!!!/

what bout this?

Namminhope are having fun but whoopsie!!! not so fast Mr. Park Jimin! You can’t have fun without your other half Mighty Jeon the Lord of memes, the Ruler of girl group dances, the Pioneer of ‘Hovering technique 101 with Jeon Jungkook’…and so he appears unwelcomed simply because he can. /you could actually see Kookhoverer’s reflection in the mirror in the first gif/

You would think it’s the end of the story but nope my buddy oh there’s more to be told…

Ji/hope are so engrossed in their dance to recognize /HOVERER ALERT!!!/ the existence of a certain raven-haired boy who, well…craves some attention. Of course he needs to push our lovely Hoseok out of the way because mate, you can’t let your buddy be with your boy after spending such a long time with him. TIME OUT! Could you please move aside hyung cause /eyes Jimin thru the mirror/ I’ve been searching for my Jimmy boy for ages… shoo shoo

I had hoped to see more lessons from Jin because Jimin’s getting there but Uh OH…RED ALERT. Whose hand is that? Too close, buddy too close!!!!

OF COURSE you would be here JEon. OF course.

Uhuh tryna impress your Jimin hyung with your antics i see? Oh i get it, you haven’t got your daily dose of Jimin’s laugh for the day, have you? I get it, he will still laugh no matter how lame your joke is, including the act of putting lipbalm. Ah-Ma-Zing.

/I was hoping to see Jimin fling his body when he laughed like he always does tho. He would be the best goalkeeper for Korea/

Here we have Tweety bird pouring his heart out while singing over the loudspeaker, feeling like he could conquer all the stars of the universe with his angelic voice, but all hopes are shattered to pieces when Kookhoverer decides to take up half  the screen just to get something offcam. He’s like, intentionally being unintentional shoving his head on screen for the world to see. Luls.

They say, working out is best done with a partner, but looks like Jimin had picked the wrong dude, because the supposed partner is eyeing them thru the mirror right now. Awww Jungkook better luck next time.

/look at him standing behind Jimin in the first gif. Just how long has he been there tho/

Now,here comes the most hilarious out of all “Notice me senpai” moments…

It’s called “How to get your boy’s attention when he’s out with his buddy”-chapter 3:33 of Hovering Technique 101 with Jeon Jungkook

Step 1: Just walk leisurely into the scene and pretend you’re totally fine. Facial expression is VERY important.

Step 2: Find something that could divert his attention, such as damaging his property /or trying to/ .Don’t worry,he won’t be mad at you bc he loves you too damn much. Don’t forget to do the victory cheer because you deserve it.

Step 3: In case your technique doesn’t work on him, prepare Plan B- Distract his buddy. Find something he loves and try to gain his attention thru it. Once he sees the thing he loves he will totally leave your boy alone. It’s a win-win situation for both of you.

Step 4: Oh i see you’re getting there? Good. Now wait till he walks away with the bait. When the coast is clear, that would only mean one thing;you have your boy back! Now ENJOY!!!

And that’s the end of the story.

Yeay to Kookhoverer and NAy to Jiminblivious tsk tsk. OR maybe Jimin knew all along what Kook was up to? Bc it would be impossible if he couldn’t sense a thing. Kook was SO OBVIOUS!!!! Screw subtlety. Jeon is getting tired of that lololol.

/hugs you suffering anon I miss you/


“…though the union of the fëar of the wedded is not broken by distance of place, yet in creatures that live as spirits embodied fëa communes with fëa in full only when the bodies dwell together.”  
- “Laws and Customs Among the Eldar”, Morgoth’s Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien

“But Morgoth himself the Valar thrust through the Door of Night beyond the Walls of the World, into the Timeless Void…”
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien

“When Thangorodrim was broken and Morgoth overthrown, Sauron put on his fair hue again and did obeisance to Eönwë, the herald of Manwë…"
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien

It hit Mairon like a blow. He staggered, clutching at the stone wall that ran alongside the path they walked.  Eönwë’s eyes widened in alarm as he glanced back to determine why Mairon had stopped.  But Mairon paid no heed to the other Maia’s concern.  In truth, he did not notice.  His thoughts were on another.

“My lord…” Mairon gasped, sinking to his knees amid dust and rocks.  Tears rose unbidden to his eyes.  No, he thought, this cannot be.  Even in the time of Melkor’s captivity, when the Elves were new, and the Valar kept him chained, Mairon had always been able to sense him.  No matter the distance, he had known Melkor was alive and that he would return to him.  The two were bound; the union of their spirits had formed an indissoluble connection. But now that bond had been severed. In his soul, he felt only a ragged, aching hole where Melkor should have been.  Mairon felt as though he’d been rent in two.

Gravel pressed sharply against the palms of his hands as panic gripped him.  Surely, the Valar would not have killed him, the Maia reasoned desperately.  Despite all that he had done against them, he was still of their kind. They would not, could not, have destroyed him utterly.  Eru would never allow such a thing.  Manwë always followed the will of Eru.  Always. But then why can I not sense him? Mairon’s mind shrieked in anguish.

“They have sentenced him to exile,” Eönwë supplied hesitantly, seeming to realize the source of Mairon’s distress, “and shut him into the Void, beyond this World.  Just now they must have closed the Door of Night; that is what you felt.  I did not know that you and he…”  His voice faltered as Mairon looked up at him, a paradoxical mix of pain and relief etched onto his fair face.  “I’m sorry,” Eönwë said instead, turning away.  “Brother,” he continued, “you are of my order, and thus I cannot pardon you. Return to Aman and seek the mercy of Lord Manwë.  Your sins may yet be atoned for.  Forgive me, but I must leave you now.  There are other matters that I must attend to.”  Then Eönwë departed from Mairon, leaving him to mourn alone.

Mairon waited until Eönwë had left before rising shakily to his feet.  Melkor was not dead; that fact was enough to calm him for a moment.  And yet, though not destroyed, he was still beyond even the reach of Mairon’s soul.  The lack of his beloved lord burned hollowly within him, but the despair that would have broken his heart turned instead to hatred, hardening it.  

“Return to Aman, Eönwë says,” Mairon muttered through gritted teeth, his voice low and seething. “Return to Aman, I shall, but not to seek pardon…”  For when I next meet the Valar, he vowed, it shall be to overthrow them.  And I shall throw open the Door of Night and take back he whom they have taken from me!  But even in the rage of his wrath, Mairon was not so rash as to rush into action, not when so much was at stake.  Though his heart quailed and his soul quaked at the thought of the long ages he may have to endure, sundered from the one whom he held most precious, he stood tall and defiant.  

Much there was to plan and prepare.  Mairon turned back down the path he had walked beside Eönwë.  Clutching the ache in his soul, he moved forward.  Mairon left the ruined lands of the North, the kingdom he had helped his Master hold for hundreds of years, and he did not look back.  There were other lands now that he must conquer.

Through lies and subtlety, wars and destruction, he would prevail.  However long it took, whatever suffering he must endure along the way, Mairon would defeat the Valar.  He would be reunited with Melkor, and he would be whole again.  This is what he told himself, in the dead of night, when he was utterly alone, and his spirit trembled with loss and longing.  This is what he whispered to the Darkness that could not hear him.  I will be with you again.

Sense memory

Between my devastated fingers
the cold water awakens me.

The coarse sand makes a
distinct sound–harsh, light
steps, and then the slapping
of the tide against my ankles,
the self-aware mourning
with it–the kneading of the
textures distresses me.

Drowning in melancholy, I
struggle under the windows of
strangers, probably toasting
to something–the collective
identity makes me more alone.

Walking home, the cold smell
of the ocean lingers, behind me
is the tough-minded sun. I’m
soon unlocking my jammed door.

Between my devastated fingers,
a pen and living memories
of suffering and lyrical
subtlety awaken me, and

I am feeling more alone.