the story of the alamo

What MRA’s think will happen at the Women-Only Wonder Woman Screenings

We at the Alamo Drafthouse would like to officially apologize for our role in the end of mankind as we knew it, and the ascendant Gynocracy that followed. We didn’t know our women-only screening of Wonder Woman would result in the overthrow of all world governments and the total subjugation of men, but in hindsight we probably should have seen it coming.

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Timeless Rewatch: s01e05 - The Alamo

“When I was young, I read stories about great heroes doing great deeds. But truth is, real heroes don’t look at all like I pictured. They’re far from perfect, bull-headed, stubborn, reckless… and also recklessly brave. They charge in, without a thought to themselves, not without fear or doubt, but in spite of it. We are all scared but we are going to fight and die anyway, to give everyone else a chance at a better future. Because the future matters. Victory or Death.

                                                                               The Men and Women of the Alamo

But I Got a B!

Okay, so, I gotta tell this story. I’m hyper thanks to coffee.

In high school, forget what grade, think it was sophomore or junior, we did an ass-ton of American war/ battle history stuff. (Military town, they LOVED this shit.)

Anyways! I got stuck doing the stuff involved with the Spanish Civil War and the Texas Revolution. ( I don’t fucking remember because I blocked most of it out anyways.) So I have this entire project due, had a month to do it, waited till two days before to start it, and lost a lot of sleep.

So I get to school, dead tired to the point I feel slightly stoned, and it comes my turn to present. I’m presenting, and I go to flip to the next few cards.

And I start laughing. Laughing so hard that I’m on the ground sobbing, partially from horror, but also because I’m tired and this will be really funny in a minute. My teacher and the class are dumbfounded as fuck. He stands up slowly, afraid of this sobbing, giggling mess surround by notecards, and goes, “Uh, (my name), why are you laughing? Are you okay?” There are murmurs throughout the class in agreement.

After I regain myself, only slightly, in a really high, squeaky voice (because that’s what happens when I laugh and cry and attempt to talk all at once) mixed with a distraught walrus-foghorn amalgamation of a sob, I say,

“I forgot the Alamo!” Because, indeed, I forgot a good, solid wad of notecards in my room consisting of the Battle of the Alamo.

The classroom lost it.

But I got a B, so we’re good.

“Since this is one of my favorite werewolf movies, we were going to have a little trivia contest to win this 3-day pass. But, if you wouldn’t mind standing up for us, we have a Jack cosplayer here with us tonight. So i think we can all agree who wins. Try harder.”
And that’s the story of how ya girl won a free Alamo City ticket just by showing up 😈

Names my friends and I have chosen to give characters in Overwatch

Genji: Naruto, Nart, Dollar Store Sasuke, Green power ranger, Shingeki No Payload, Daftpunk, “What about sunrise land?”
Mcree: Woody from Toy Story, Clint Eastwood, The state of Texas, Remember the Alamo, Tumbleweed Trash
Pharah: Ball is Life, Inaccurate Weather Girl, Justice Rains from My Ass
Reaper: Edgelord666, Knock-off Kylo Ren, Sasuke 2.0, Linkin Park
Soldier 76: Dad, Daddy (when he has that one skin), Boyscouts of America, Steve Rogers, G.I. Joe
Tracer: The Calvary, Sanic, Usain Don’t, Nyoomi, Lost in Time

Bastion: Brave little toaster, Mr. Robot, Transformers™ Robots in Disguise, The little engine that could
Hanzo: He tiddy, Merida, Katniss Everdeen, Dark Pit, “Hire a Samurai”
Junkrat: Mad Max: Fury Road, Crispy Bacon Child, Dirty boy, wheel of fortune, Beyblade™ Let it Rip
Mei: Knock off Elsa, Donald Trump, The ice queen, “We’ve invaded China” said the Mongols, that one girl in your ecology class who won’t shut up about the polar bears
Torbjörn: lawn gnome, Swedish dwarf, useless, OFC HE GOT POTG, turret v payload
Widowmaker: Hot French Mama, violet from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

D.va: Mountain Dew Dorito Gremlin, my life as a teenage robot, X-J9, Markiplier’s granddaughter, Buzz Lightyear, Gamer Girl™, Gamergate™
Roadhod: Pumba from The Lion King, Peppa Pig, the OTHER bacon child, shark bait ooh ha ha
Zarya: mother russia, gravity bong
Winston: harambe, gorillas in the mist
Reinhardt: foxy grandpa

Ana: gramma
Lúcio: a friend
Mercy: mom, my angel from heaven
Symmetra: idfk, the 3-D printer
Zenyatta: Bob Marley, Ghandi, Zenyatata

Joe, the Slave Who Became an Alamo Legend by Ron J. Jackson, Jr. and Lee Spencer White

If we do in fact “remember the Alamo,” it is largely thanks to one person who witnessed the final assault and survived: the commanding officer’s slave, a young man known simply as Joe. What Joe saw as the Alamo fell, recounted days later to the Texas Cabinet, has come down to us in records and newspaper reports. But who Joe was, where he came from, and what happened to him have all remained mysterious until now. In a remarkable feat of historical detective work, authors Ron J. Jackson, Jr., and Lee Spencer White have fully restored this pivotal yet elusive figure to his place in the American story.  [book link]