the story is the lovely artist was doing requests and i got one of the slots

since ive been complaining about shit already tonight i might aswell just mention random crap that i’ve been thinking about, but ill spare your dash, feel free to read me rambling about absolutely random shit if you want

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Drunk History of Dan and Phil

It was the Fall of 2009, Dan meets Phil and he’s like “Yo, I know about editing tips.” Then Phil’s like “Yo, I know MORE about editing tips” “That’s impossible! Do you wanna be roommates?” And Phil’s like, “Yeah, that’s cool.” And then, he’s like, “Yo, this is a train station; it’s not a flat.” And then they met at Phil’s house. So Dan’s wearing black jeans, and socks, and a shirt. Phil has a cordless hammer drill for some fucking reason. And they start filming pinof 1 together and they’re like “Oh, let’s film some other videos together.” It was like blindfolded cat face game, and fuckin’ pinof, and fuckin’ christmas shit. Phil said to Dan, “Yo, we gotta change this shit up. Yo, let’s move to manchester” And so Dan is like, “Yo, that’s dope, but we need a fuckin’ flat.” Because they’re filming videos and they’re youtubers. Phil’s like “Yo, I got tons of lions through the mail,” and he’s like “wait, how do you have lions?” And he’s like, “Yo, watch this: RAAWRHAHAHEHRRAAGHG!” And he'a like, “Oh my god, that sounds like a lion!” And they made videos like pinof 2, pinof 3, pinof 4 pinof 5, amazingdan, everybody loves it.

“It’s called Phil is not on fire"

It’s called phan, and it’s real and it doesn’t matter.

And Dan talked to Phil and he was like “Yo, what the fuuuuuuuck? Yo, this is gonna be fuckin’ dooooooope!” So they made a show and it was called the superamazingproject. They made it, and they moved to London together. They met other people were like Pewdiepie, Joe Sugg, the dudes from one direction, the other one was like the guy from like BBC Radio 1 or something, and they’re like “Yo, we want you to have a radio show to fill this time slot. Fuckin’ do it.” And they did it, and they killed it, and Dan and Phil were like “bigidalililililillla, pshhh!” Killin’ the show, taking requests, playin the music, playin’ the shit, killing these bitches with Dan vs Phils.

You’re getting a fucking radio show right now? What the fuck is going on?

We should do a gaming channel, ‘cause this fanbase knows what the fuck is going on. And they were like “Yo, we’re planning a surprise for you guys" Phil was like “Yo, we got this gaming channel that’s fuckin’ doooooooope, dude it’s called DanandPhilGAMES It’s gonna be fucking huge.” And then Dan’s like, “I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are games that are we’re gonna play and they’re called (BURP) The Sims, Undertale, and random shit we find. And they made this channel that was fuckin’ dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one, two, three, two, one, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ten to ONE. DanandPhilGAMES hit like one million subscribers, two million subscribers!. And Phil was like “That’s gooOoOOoooOoOOoOoOOOoOOd” Dan was like, “Yo, fuck you, I can do whatever I want.” And he did the blindfolded make up challenge like, “Make-up is fuckin’ great for a guy because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful, and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everyone thinks that guys are beautiful.”

I’m good so far. Yeah, I do.


Oh, fuck, alright alright.

Dan was like, “Oh my god, I’m so done with these tumblr memes.” And then I saw the memes and was like “Ah, they’re not bad.”

Dan Howell is not a bad meme. Let’s be real.
They’re like, “Yo, people want to meet us, yo, fuck these dudes, we’re gonna fucking go miles above, we’re gonna hit every fuckin’ continent there is known to man.” So the Japan trip happens, they fuckin’ have three-four years of awesomeness. Like people are coming on themselves cause it’s so big.

Then Dan and Phil were like, “Yo, we gotta take a short break.” Meaning, they was like “Yo, we gotta write a book, bro.” And Dan’s like, “I need something people can physically remember, UHUhUhUHuHUUUh.” And Phil’s like, “yo, I need time to find some inspiration, the world of Dan and Phil.” And they’re like, “Alright, this writing been like a year long, We gotta fuckin’ go on tour, man, we gotta go on a book tour strong.”

You took my away. What the fuck?

“No, you poured it all over yourself.”

“Yeah, you poured it all over yourself, man, here.”

“We gotta make this shit legit, it’s gonna be fuckin’ dope, it’s gonna go fuckin’ sky high. We’re gonna make a fuckin’ book that sails the skies. We’re gonna call this book The Amazing Book is Not On Fire.” And everybody’s like “What the fuck?! A book!?“ And they began crafting.

Is this pu- what the fuck is this on my shirt? Did I puke on myself? Oh god.

Phil was like, “Yo, we’re gonna end up on a tour in the UK then all over the USA and the world!”. And that’s all, and that’s all that matter. And that’s just how the fuckin’ story goes.