the stiff


have it as proof that i’m still alive

i firmly believed that it was leia who proposed to han: five months pregnant, vomiting most mornings, back hurting and shadows thick under her eyes because never mind the child, the fledgling republic will not let her rest and every morning she wakes and wishes her mother was still alive – no, not padme, the other one, the real one, breha who combed her hair and taught her statecraft – because maybe them she could have had someone to explain the whole point of marriage to han, because on corellia marriage is seen as unromantic, a business transaction, and leia wants to scream that is the fucking point! because her parents had an arranged marriage and their union was strong enough to backbone a government. han doesn’t get it. luke doesn’t get it either, because he is still of the childish opinion that love is all you need.

leia is different. pragmatic. a diplomat. marriage is security and strength – not for her, because if it was down to her she would be the wild companion of a smuggler and a jedi, wielding a blaster in one hand and a lightsabre in the other, defeating the darkness wherever she found it. but it isn’t down to her; she has a job to do and the daughter of bail and breha organa has never ever shirked from her duty. the marriage is not for her, or han, or even the child; it is for her senate, her republic, something old to carry into the new. 

she kept a bit of the chain she used to kill jabba, gets it forged into two rings. make an honest woman of me smuggler, she says.

she doesn’t kneel. of course she doesn’t.