the steaks have never been higher

You, the world’s greatest chef, have been abducted by aliens so you can take part in a cosmic cooking TV show. They will only return you to Earth if you win. The steaks have never been higher.

mixedmutt  asked:

Not really an ask. Just got a few puns for you: What do you call it when a Wasp busts a drug deal? A sting. What do old female dogs go through later in life? Menapaws. My cow smoked weed today. The steaks have never been higher. Gay jokes aren't funny. Cum on guys. Just look at theses when you have a bad day, if you want.


  • Mulder: Pack your bags, Scully. Tomorrow we're off to the magestic mountains of Idaho.
  • Scully: For?
  • Mulder: *starts slideshow*
  • Mulder: Over the last four months, the small town of Salmon reported over 10 cattle mutilations. Which didn't seem unusual enough for us, until I discovered where they were found. Sliced into 10 ounce pieces, the cows were strung from the highest reaches of pine trees on the outskirts of town.
  • Scully: And this important why?
  • Mulder: Scully the steaks have never been higher.

because of rob ford’s bumbaclot rant in steak queen i started craving steak so i went to the supermarket and bought a steak and i’m eating the steak and all the steak was is gone now and i’m looking up butcher shops open at midnight and my coat is halfway on and 

this was a huge misteak, i fucked up i fucked the fuck up