the speech is more important so i decided not to gif it

WHEN THE HULK INTERACTS WITH SOMEONE, he’s typically inclined to use nonverbal communication as opposed to spoken word. this is a matter of personal preference, and because there are many scenarios where he’s around civilians and in the public eye – the hulk has seldom spoken in public before, and he wants it to stay this way, because his supposed inability to speak offers a degree of SEPARATION between his two forms. the less human he appears, the better.

HOWEVER, HE DOES SPEAK ON CERTAIN OCCASIONS, most commonly if he’s in a private setting. when this happens, his aptitude in conversation can seem a far cry from the sophistication that he demonstrates as bruce. there are numerous mechanisms that create this discrepancy, all of which are explained below.


I. IMPAIRED SOCIAL SKILLS.

WHEN BRUCE IS IN HIS NORMAL FORM, his social skills are acceptable. he’s excellent at maintaining eye contact with other people, and aside from demonstrating the occasional tic before he opens his mouth, such as a double blink or a held pause, he doesn’t have any cumbersome habits when it comes to speaking; he can express the words and impressions that he wants to convey with minimal hassle. however, the same ease of communication cannot be observed with the hulk. whenever he speaks with someone, it appears to take him a tremendous amount of EFFORT to form speech, almost as if he must force himself to physically produce each sound. this is predominantly evident in the furrowing of his brow, the subtle squinting of eyes, or – as he often does in his normal form – the occasional double blink. his breathing could become slightly LABOURED as well, which further supplements the appearance of effort. and lastly, his GAZE tends to be extremely fickle – whenever he speaks, this gaze will continually flit from his conversational partner to the ground, and sometimes it will REMAIN THERE for an indeterminate amount of time. this is similar to how someone will look away from their colleague if they need to recall a memory, or something else that’s been stored away. when this happens in tandem with the aforementioned smaller expressions, his dearth of eye contact can make him appear solemn, flustered, or even ADAMANT about speaking with someone. it could also draw comparisons to a CHILD who’s just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, and is reluctant to face the person who’s trying to coax an admission of guilt from them.

IT’S COMMON FOR PEOPLE TO FEEL OFFENDED when the hulk demonstrates the above mannerisms, especially when they happen in concurrence with his typical demeanour – namely, his characteristic disdain, petulance, and occasional aloofness. however, one must realize that he’ll demonstrate these mannerisms no matter WHO he’s conversing with. this holds true even if his demeanour is MELLOWER than usual because he’s interacting with a good friend, and even if he’s content and legitimately ENJOYING a conversation with them. furthermore, these tics shouldn’t be used as a sole means of diagnosing whether he likes someone – instead, they should look for ADDITIONAL CUES. and they will know immediately if he’s conveying these cues, because he’s a bit of a drama queen who tends to make a spectacle out of his opinions. if he were truly averse to being around someone, he would offer them a choice selection of INSULTS; he might even turn his back on them or walk away.

SO, WHY DO THESE TICS EVEN HAPPEN? the answer is simple – when bruce is in his normal guise, he can easily think of abstract concepts and visualize them, as if it were a very straightforward process, before translating them into malleable language and speaking in a way that people can comprehend. however, this doesn’t happen so easily for the hulk – his thought patterns in this guise tend to REMAIN abstract, tumbling around in his head as raw sentiments that stay OUTSIDE his mind’s eye; they fail to manifest as visualized items that can easily be translated into words. this is explained by the fact that, in a rudimentary state, the hulk is atavistic and driven by emotion; he doesn’t need the same intricacies of thinking that he needs as bruce, nor is he inherently capable of such a thing. this includes the intricacies of spoken language, which isn’t at the forefront of his mind. for this reason, when he’s the hulk, it takes a conscious effort for concepts to make the JUMP from abstract ones, to visualized ones, and finally to spoken word. in addition, to achieve this jump, he needs to summon language from his experiences as BRUCE. this endeavour might seem easy because of how the serum improved his ability to function as the hulk, but while the barriers between his two forms are somewhat lessened now, parts of them are still INEXORABLE because of the inherent biological differences between said forms. for this reason, it still takes a certain amount of EFFORT to connect these two halves of himself, and he’ll do anything he can to make this process EASIER, which includes focusing elsewhere during a conversation. even so, it’s possible that as bruce becomes more familiar with how the hulk thinks, and as he becomes more experienced with translating its thoughts into words, speaking could become second-nature to him, and his tics will DISAPPEAR. practice makes perfect, and this matter is no exception.

ANOTHER POSSIBLE REASON for these tics is that the hulk’s baseline sentiments – low self-esteem and a strong sense of inadequacy, both of which his father instilled in him during his youth – are unconsciously coming through in his smaller mannerisms, despite his persistent yearning to appear strong and capable and tailor his larger actions accordingly.


II. BRIEF PAUSES.

BECAUSE HE CANNOT QUICKLY CREATE SPEECH, the hulk is also prone to constant pauses. if he’s expressing something that requires an abundance of words, every FOUR OR FIVE OF SAID WORDS will be punctuated with a brief pause – just a sliver of noticeable time; not nearly enough to pull in a breath. the reason for this is straightforward; as mentioned earlier, the hulk needs to SUMMON language from his other guise; reference an archive, in a manner of speaking. this means that everything he wishes to communicate must pass from his normal guise, into a “LANGUAGE BUFFER”, and then into usability. moreover, he can either choose to speak with FREQUENT short pauses that occur between every four or five words, allowing small pieces of communication to be translated as needed, or speak with more OCCASIONAL pauses that are placed into his dialogue much less frequently, but are more drawn-out in length. the latter option is not preferred, because the long pauses can lead to his audience tapping their foot in impatience; additionally, trying to tackle massive amounts of language can CONFUSE him, even causing him to FORGET certain pieces as he works through them. this would be a nightmare for the other party in terms of comprehension, not to mention it would make him appear a conversational BURDEN, and being a burden is something that he desperately tries to avoid. and lastly, to ensure that his dialogue remains fluid and does not come across as overly stunted, he normally constructs sentences that are SHORTER in length. since sentences have a natural pause at their end, this helps to conceal the somewhat CLUNKY process in which his dialogue manifests.

ODDLY ENOUGH, there seems to be a subtle correlation between the hulk’s emotional state and his ease of speaking. if he becomes angry or otherwise emotional, it may be easier to express himself without having to pause, almost as if the barrier between his normal and hulk forms – and thus, the barrier that impedes his access to language – has momentarily shattered. bruce has known about this phenomenon for three years now, but he’s still unsure how it works. that being said, excessive anger will often have the opposite effect, rendering him DEVOID of verbal abilities.

if someone is conversing with the hulk and he looks away in thought, then responds to them through body language or vocalizations that are NOT spoken word, it’s possible that he tried finding words to express himself, but ultimately failed. this happens on occasion.

( the hulk’s capacity for longer and more complex sentences will IMPROVE the later a particular interaction occurs in his timeline. for instance, his dialogue in EMPYREAN will be fairly choppy, whereas his dialogue in WAR PAINT will be much less so. of course, the specific situation in which he’s speaking will have an impact on his overall abilities as well; as described above, he’ll be less successful at speaking if he’s extraordinarily angry. )


III. VOCABULARY.

THE HULK DOESN’T WAX POETIC in conversation, nor does he brandish a large vocabulary to begin with. he simply doesn’t have the capacity to do this unless he takes an extreme amount of time to think about his words – after all, it’s difficult enough to find appropriate words in the FIRST PLACE, let alone find BETTER ones. instead, his lexicon is more JUVENILE, reminiscent of the language that belongs to someone in the first or second grade. whereas banner may call something “banal” or “bullheaded”, the hulk will settle for “dumb”. if banner wants to be left alone, he might beat around the bush and utilize sophisticated verbal techniques to imply his wishes, while the hulk will simply use “go away”, “buzz off”, or “leave me alone”.

( it’s important to know that the hulk’s elementary lexicon is NOT an accurate indicator of his intelligence. he’s much smarter than he appears; the full extent of this simply gets lost in translation. moreover, someone should not speak to him like he’s stupid, because he WILL take offense. )

HE’S ALSO VERY FOND OF NICKNAMES, whether the person in question is a friend or enemy. to commence, whereas bruce himself will acknowledge someone by either their title and last name if he’s unfamiliar with them, or by their first name if he considers them a friend, the hulk will use either their last name, or a nickname that refers to a prominent characteristic of the individual. for example, bruce will call tony stark “tony” whenever he’s in his normal form, albeit whenever he’s in his hulk form, he could call him anything from “stark” to “tin man” and “shellhead”. for another example, bruce will refer to steve rogers as “steve” whenever he’s in his normal form, but “cap” when he’s the hulk. sam wilson, unfortunately, receives the shortest end of the stick, commonly hearing names like “falcon”, “pigeon,” or “bird man” ( albeit it’s likely that once bruce becomes more familiar with sam, similar to how he is with steve and tony, he will start using his last name as well ) . there are very few exceptions to the aforementioned rules, one of them being betty ross – because of bruce’s feelings for her, the hulk will always call her “betty” instead of using nicknames. this was the case even before he took the serum.


IV. VOICE.

THE HULK HAS A RATHER UNIQUE VOICE. while bruce’s own voice tends to strike a pleasing balance between deeper and lighter elements, and doesn’t contain much in the way of texture, the hulk’s own voice is a darker, resounding BARITONE that seems to emanate from much deeper in his throat – in other words, if bruce’s voice were the treble or the midrange component in a piece of music, the hulk’s voice would be the BASS. in addition to this deeper pitch, his voice is somewhat rough and GRATING as well, evoking an aural sensation that’s similar to the quiet RASP of a cat’s tongue. this abrasive quality is caused by the distorted shape of his vocal cords. however, while the abrasion is beyond what a typical human voice can exhibit, it still manages to remain PALATABLE to the ears and not overwhelming. some people might even consider his voice to be MELLIFLUOUS, since the combination of darker pitch and abrasion almost has a soothing quality – possibly even enough to evoke an autonomous sensory meridian response, also known as ASMR. the last portion of his voice is somewhat subtle, though it can be heard if someone listens closely – this is an UNDERTONE that is reminiscent of bruce’s normal voice. it is almost inaudible, but it IS there. because of all the aforementioned qualities, the hulk’s voice is extremely BALANCED as a whole and doesn’t come across as overly “monstrous” or “distorted”, nor is it something that would become aggravating to hear after a while.

FURTHER NOTES: this hulk’s voice is different from how it’s portrayed in both “the avengers” and “thor: ragnarok”. in the former film, there is a huge dissonance between the hulk’s darker tone and bruce’s lighter tone, essentially making it sound as if two separate individuals are talking together ( which is probably due to how the voice, which used dialogue from both ruffalo and ferrigno, had been digitally composited ) , whereas in this portrayal, those two components are more unified. and in the latter film, the hulk’s voice is lacking the extra bit of darkness and depth that this portrayal’s contains.

THE HULK CAN MODULATE the roughness and reverberation of his voice in order to produce ROARS. this is due to the increased strength of his laryngeal muscles, which are capable of altering his vocal cords, and thus the quality of his voice, far beyond the range of normal individuals. these muscles can also pull his vocal cords further down into his throat, strengthening the volume of his voice even MORE. their capabilities allow for the vibration of his vocal cords as well, which would produce a PURR, though he’s unaware of this potential – especially because, unlike a feline, he won’t automatically purr just because he’s content! ( and even if he did realize he could purr, it certainly wouldn’t happen in the presence of his peers. )


V. ENUNCIATION AND VOLUME.

WHEN IT COMES TO THE OVERALL CLARITY of his dialogue, the hulk is extremely easy to understand. this is because he can easily project his voice, and because he ENUNCIATES extremely well, putting stress on both vowels and consonants to ensure every single syllable stands out. however, this level of enunciation also means that his voice is very FORWARD, and therefore tends to lack INFLECTION – instead of raising the pitch of his voice when he’s excited, he’ll simply project it, often with extremely loud results.

at its peak, the hulk’s speaking voice can reach 90 decibels. roars and other nonverbal sounds can reach upwards of 120 decibels.


VI. ADDITIONAL NOTES: INNER PROCESSES.

DESPITE THE SIMPLICITY OF THE HULK’S DIALOGUE and everything else that onlookers can see, his inner processes remain LAVISH, awash with concepts and emotions that are wholly sweeping and powerful in design – enough to overwhelm the average person if they ever experience them in the same manner. and these processes remain potent whether he’s contemplating other individuals, past events, and even himself. after all, the hulk functions predominantly on an EMOTIONAL BASIS, which ensures that his sentiments are always dialed up to ELEVEN and averse to being suppressed by his intellect. because of this, his reactions to external stimuli will be written as LESS RUDIMENTARY than his speech – they will be more grandiose, poetic, and metaphorical.

GRANTED, the hulk doesn’t use elaborate language when he’s speaking to someone, or experiencing an inner monologue. from a writing perspective, this language merely helps in representing just how intense his CORE SENTIMENTS can become, which are naturally wordless. if an internal monologue does occur, it will be represented in italics, just as what occurs with bruce, and it WILL mirror the more rudimentary nature of his vocabulary.


DISCLAIMER: the content in this post is unique to this particular version of bruce banner. liking and reblogging is permitted, but please refrain from reblogging if you also happen to write bruce. thanks.

Title: Don’t be Late 

A/N: Here is part three of Ten Years Waiting. You can find Parts One and Two here on my masterpost. Thank you to all who have liked and shared this! You guys are amazing. It has taken a lot for me to get back to writing and I was nervous about sharing it because I wasn’t sure if you all would like it. I love you guys! Part Four coming Soon. 

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Tagged: @supernatural-x-reader-imagines @spn–fics @supernaturaltookover


Dean was lying on his motel bed, finishing off his fourth beer when his phone rang. He picked it up, and paused before answering. He didn’t recognize the number, but not very many people had his new number. It must be important.

“Yeah?” His voice was gruff, from sitting in silence and he coughed to clear his throat.

“Dean?” He straightened up at the sound of your voice on the other end.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

A mixture of confusion and excitement flowed through him. “How’d you get this number?” It hadn’t come out the way he meant it to. “I mean, I got this phone last week and it’s a new number…”

“Sam stopped by earlier. He gave it to me.”

“Sam stopped by? I’m going to kill him.” He was serious. He told his little brother to drop it and mind his own business. But of course, he couldn’t keep his nose out of it.

“Should I have not called?” Your voice sounded disappointed and sad and it pained him to hear it.

“No! I’m glad you called!” Dean stood from the bed, and began pacing. He looked over to the kitchen table where Sam was sitting, pretending to do research. Sam looked up, and shrugged. “I just wasn’t expecting it. How are you?” Dean walked past Sam, stopping to hit him on the back of the head, and walked outside. He really didn’t need Sam eavesdropping. He was nervous enough.

“I’m fine.”

“Oh good.” There was a silence that lasted a few minutes.

“Dean, I’m sorry I ran out of the diner today. I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”

He released a breath that he didn’t know he was holding. “No, it’s my fault. I should have given you a warning or something.”

“Maybe.”

Dean heard you chuckle lightly and smiled. “I missed that laugh.” More silence… “(Y/N)?”

“I’m here. I’m just thinking.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“I think we need to talk. In person.”

“Yeah. That would be nice. Did you have anything in mind?”

“Do you remember where we went on our first date?”

“Of course. The park downtown.”

“4 O’clock tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“(Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“It was nice to see you today. Even if it was only for a second.”

“Goodbye, Dean.” The phone went silent, and Dean was left standing there. He wasn’t sure how he was feeling right now. He was mad at Sam for butting in. He was happy that you had called him. He was nervous about seeing you tomorrow… He sighed and walked back into the motel room.

“Who was that?” Sam asked innocently.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t know.” Dean accused.

Sam smiled. “So what did she say?”

“She wants to meet tomorrow to talk.”

“That’s a good thing right?” he asked, hopeful.

“I guess. I mean, I missed her like crazy, but what if she wants to meet tomorrow to tell me she hates me?”

“I don’t think that’s what it is about. Trust me.” Sam said reassuringly.

“I don’t know Sam… ” Dean sighed. “I guess we’ll find out.”

Dean arrived at the park a few minutes early and sat in his car. He spotted you sitting on a park bench. You were wearing a yellow sundress and your short hair was blowing softly in the wind. You were watching the kids on the playground with a small smile on your face. He didn’t think that you could be anymore beautiful in that moment. For every fear that he had about meeting up after all this time, there were ten reasons he couldn’t stay away from you any longer. He took the keys out the ignition and got out of the car. He pulled at his flannel shirt, trying to smooth out any wrinkles. Your head turned at the sound of his car door and you gave him a small smile. He grinned and made his way over to you. He held his arms out expectantly, and was relieved when you stood and put your arms around this waist. Dean hadn’t felt like this in ten years, and the smell of your familiar perfume prompted him to give you a small squeeze.

“You look beautiful.”

You smiled and turned to kiss his cheek. Dean released you and motioned for you to sit. He sat next to you, and he couldn’t take the smile off his face. “What has you all smiley?” you teased.

“Well, I was a bit nervous. But now I’m just excited to see you again.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with the kiss to the cheek does it? Cause I’m telling you right now Winchester that’s all you’re getting.” You said, trying to seem stern.

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “Awe come on (Y/N)! That little thing…” He teased back. You nudged him with your elbow.  “I missed this.”

“Me too.” you sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry I left you like that.” Dean whispered.

“I know.” your voice was quiet, and filled with emotion.

“When I left, I thought I was coming back.” Dean sighed and rubbed his face. “I thought that once I found dad, I could come back and everything would be like it was. But then things went to shit. Jess died, dad died… everyone died.” You reached for his hand. Dean accepted your comfort and tried to laugh it off. “I went to hell for God’s sake. Hell…. Who does that?”

“Dean…”

“No. Let me finish. I started the apocalypse. I’ve gotten good people killed. I can’t tell you how many times I let Sam down… I was a demon…” his voice broke. He blinked furiously, not wanting you to see the tears beginning to form. He turned to you. “How was I supposed to come back? How could I justify bring you into all of my crap?”

“Can I say something?” Dean nodded. “I. Don’t. Blame. You. Not at all, Dean. I know why you had to leave, and I know how hard it was for you to lose everything. I know, because I lost everything when you left. But you have to understand that I loved you, Dean, I loved you so much and you didn’t have faith in me… in us.”

“What if something had happened to you? What if it had followed me home and you got hurt?”

“Dean, I was a hunter too. Remember? We took that risk every time that you left. But you always came back and we were always fine.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t see Jess’ body on the ceiling… just like my mom’s. Sam was careful, and no one knew that he was a hunter, not even her. That damn demon found her and now she is gone. I can’t handle that pressure.”

“You don’t think that I felt the same way?” you sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. “You didn’t call, you didn’t write I… I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” You stood up and began pacing in front of the bench. “For months, I thought you were gone. Then you popped up on the news… I figured shifter, but I couldn’t let myself think that you were gone for good.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too. I just need you to realize that this goes both ways. I wasn’t some damsel in distress. I was your partner.”

“It never works out… It just doesn’t.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe we could have been the exception?” Dean nodded. He understood what you were saying.

“So, you know what I have been up to… sort of.” Dean said, trying to change the subject to something a bit more light. “What have you been up to?”

“Well actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh yeah?” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else…”

“Don’t tell me…” he interrupted, “You’re married?”

“GOD NO!” you said quickly, “I mean… no, I’m not.”

“Well that’s kinda hard to believe. I mean, how have you not been scooped up by now.”

“Well, since you left, I haven’t really wanted to be ‘scooped’. Besides, I don’t think Emily would like it very much.”

“So Emily is your… Umm, partner?”

You laughed. “No Dean. I’m not a lesbian… as much as I think you would like that.” you nudged him. You looked at the ground. “Emily is my daughter.” You looked up at him. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was open, but no words came out. You decided to go along with your practiced speech. “She’s 9. Well, she’ll tell you that she 9 and a half. She likes animals, and she wants to be a vet when she grows up. She reads all the time…” I laughed softly, “Hell, I think that she might be smarter than me sometimes. Oh, and she’s funny, although most of the time I have no idea where she gets half of her jokes…” You paused and placed your hand on his knee.

“Wow. That’s… she sounds great.”

“She really is.”

“So it’s just the two of you?”

“Yep.”

“Can I ask what happened? To her dad, I mean.”

“He left.” You could tell that Dean was on the verge of getting angry. He had always been very protective of you. From the moment that he found you hiding in that closet, you knew he would go to the ends of the earth for you. “Before you get mad let me explain… He didn’t know, anything. He has no clue that she is his.” His shoulders relaxed and he seemed to calm down a bit.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you took a deep breath, “I didn’t want to bother him. He had a lot going on at the time and I thought that when the right time came along I would tell him. But, I never got the chance. He had to leave town and he never came back.” He shifted on the bench, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“He sounds like a dick.”

“He’s not so bad.”

He nodded. “She’s nine?”

You began to tear up and you sniffled. “Yeah, she’ll be 10 in a few months.” The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. You could see that the wheels in his head were turning.

“(Y/N)?” You closed your eyes, preparing yourself for the question. “Is she… um, I mean… Is she-”

“Yeah, She’s yours.”

“How did this happen?”

“I found out about it a few weeks after you left. I was going to tell you, like I said… but I never heard from you again…”

“If I would have known, I wouldn’t have…”

“Wouldn’t have what, Dean? Not gone and helped your brother? Saved the world? I understand, okay? Even if you would have known, I know you and I know that you would have gone and did all of those things. It’s who you are. You save people, and it’s important to you. I know that you were telling the truth earlier if you had thought that it was safe, you would have been here with me, so I don’t blame you for anything. I love you, I still do.”

“This is… crazy. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Say you forgive me.” You asked, desperation in your voice.

“You did nothing wrong, I know that keeping it from me wasn’t really your choice.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”  You leaned over and wrapped your arms around him and locked him in a tight embrace. After all this time, you were together and he finally knew the truth. It was like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. You let him go, and wiped the tears that had fallen on your cheeks.

He cleared his throat. “I just can’t believe it. I mean, I had always told myself that if I ever had kids I would be there, you know? Dad wasn’t around a lot and I resented that all the time. Without even trying I managed to be completely absent from my kid’s life. I’m sure that she hates me for it.”

“NO!” you said earnestly. “She doesn’t hate you at all. She loves you.”

“How can she love me when I have never met her?”

“Because I am honest with her Dean. I haven’t told her about demons and angels or Lucifer… but I told her who her dad was. I told her about how he was very sorry that he couldn’t be here and that he was a hero.”

“A hero?” he scoffed, “Really?”

“Yes, a hero. That’s exactly what you are and I won’t have you tell me any different. I told her that you are out in the world fighting to keep us safe.” You smiled. “I gave her a picture… the one of us on our 6 month anniversary. She keeps it under her pillow.”

“So she knows who I am.”

“Yes,” You paused, “ and there is something else you should know.”

“She’s not sick is she? It’s not cancer is it?” he asked, in full panic mode.

“No, no. She is fine! She’s perfectly healthy. It’s just that… well… She’s met Sam.”

“What?!” he got up and stood in front of you, his hands on his waist. “What do you mean she met Sam?”

“He came by the house last night. Dean, he had no idea and I was kinda blind-sighted. I asked him not to say anything, I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Does she know I’m in town?” You nodded.

“I think so, when she met Sam I think she got her hopes up. I told her the two of you are always together.”

“Should I…? I mean, can I…” he stuttered.

“Meet her?”

He released a breath. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is!” you said, standing up in front of him. “I would never keep her from you. She needs you… we both do.”

He smiled awkwardly. “You need me, huh?”

You slapped his arm playfully. “Yes, I do… So do you wanna come by the house tomorrow night for dinner? Sam’s invited of course too.”

“I can do that.” You leaned forward and hugged him for a minute, neither of you really wanting to let go.

“We’ll see you at 7.” You said, releasing him. “Don’t be late.”

I had been meaning to create a follow forever for a long time. I think the last time I had made one was when I reached 1.1k less than two years ago. I also wanted to celebrate 2017 along with reaching 2.2k followers, so here I am with my follow forever post! Smooches and thank you’s to everyone who included me in their Christmas/New Year’s follow forever posts this holiday season (。♥‿♥。)

2016 was a really interesting year for me, personally. I worried about getting into grad school, got into my top two physics PhD programs, graduated from undergrad, started graduate school, fell in love, got my heart broken, fell in love again, broke someone’s heart again along with my own, made new friends, became closer with old friends, and generally grew a lot as a person, I think. I became more comfortable with speaking my mind and not being nervous about disrupting the peace (especially on this blog). I became more confident in my poetry and writing. I realized the importance of developing your own opinions and to think critically for yourself; the importance of free speech. I learned to stand up for myself and decided that having so many emotions was not a weakness, but a strength—to wear your heart on your sleeve is an admirable form of bravery. I started to pause myself when I feel like I am becoming a workaholic and treat myself. I decided that doubting myself was the biggest harm I could do to myself, and realized that I am so blessed to have family and friends that are constantly supporting and believing in me, unconditionally.

And when I say that I am blessed to have such amazing friends, this includes so many of you I am friends with on this blog. My friends here have always been so supportive of me, from my personal life to my academic career to my writing projects. Thank you for standing up for me and being kind, open minded people in this community. Thank you for encouraging me to post my poetry and for reblogging them. Thank you for writing with me. Thank you for always showering me with love, care, and being patient and always listening to me rant and brain-vomit writing ideas. I wouldn’t have stuck for so long in this community if it were not for you. I am so honored to call you my good friends.

So, I’m going to stop rambling and start hollah-ing at at brilliant babes  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

@differcntial @morningsure @yennywrites @damnitneilperry @huztao @dormcr @ramiemalek @ashleymoore @stardustion @themiswrites @qrowfalls @cjmuses @incjghafas @ravengirlwrites @impierio @frcnkscastle

And of course all these amazing quality people on my dash that I have had the pleasure of having wonderful interactions with (and if we haven’t talked yet, please come into my inbox because I love your blog). You guys are my dashboard superstars and lighten up my days. I hope I will get to write with y’all someday (if you rp) if we haven’t already; and if we have, I hope we’ll get to write together again soon! I almost definitely have forgotten people that should be on this list, because there are so many wonderful people in the community to keep track of and I’m awful at keeping track of url-changes and such. Anyway, I love you all <3 I hope you have an amazing 2017 and that we will get to talk more and get to know each other better this year :)

@dreadwvlf @swiftofrph @akinsman @devilishpoetwrites @monsieurfeuillywrites @lumierc @cuipid @slytherinwritess @romantic-madness1x1 @lunarchld @volchitsarps @fleurdelecours @roguesgxllery @vilarps @vanityshewrote @blueshelp @els-rpideas @ninazaenik @astraeamusings @mrspresidentrps @fleurrdelacour @nyssaalghuls @wrenofrp @xshayarsha @drocomalfoy @gerogeweasley @gadotofrph @lianaliberatcs @richrdganscy @svchacliche @softgods @petuniadursley @the-looosers @xberrywritesx @kiliroleplays @lindseymorgan @kevinwymackday @oddhour @julietcapulct @tonydinozzorps @ullielofrph @crooked-queen @holtzrps @zombiexwrites @lcarian @tomh9rdy @montaguewrites @foolish-boo @ekinneywrites @conspiracistwrites @quagmiresapphires @abugwrites @debnamcarey-rps @winjruit @chewiewrites @pahdme @nyssaalghuls @mouthfulofdiamnds @bloody-gorgeous-rps @pandarenwrites @herorps @lilyevansesque @alexdanverswrites @chewiewrites @blancheduboiswrites @xspacesuperhero @suntorywrites @thebutcheroftorfan @peppermintparvati @jamespottuh @svchacliche @pcperpetals @maguirewrites @theeriinyes @planetsam @diviniadae @inejghafv @ofelah @lindseymxrgans @edwardtonks @emeraudewrote @queenchiddy @halvgods @celestialmusings @pmbrlys @castlewrites @brckkers @lyssdwrites @bodhirookwrites @haydenromerowrites @shackleboltrps @grootrps @naomirps @halcyonwrites @pearagraphs  @blackwidow-writes @wiscowrites